All Episodes

August 22, 2025 53 mins
Trinidad & Tobago author/poet Cyndee Dhalai talks about her releases “Pieces of Me: Touch My Soul” and “Grief Is the Price You Pay for Love: Run into the Fire; Discover Me in the Ashes.”! Cyndee was a teacher for 25+ years before retiring for medical reasons, worked with young people with severe medical issues including trauma and loss, she is also widowed with 2 children with the sudden loss of her husband. Her first book embarks on a private poetic journey transcending boundaries of words going into a deep journey into the soul, while the second book delves into the universal tapestry of the human experience where poetry serves as a bridge between hearts and enduring power to heal, inspire and connect! Check out the amazing Cyndee Dhalai and her releases on all major platforms and www.faialian.com today! #podmatch #cyndeedhalai #author #trinidadandtobago #piecesofme #touchmysoul #runintothefire #discovermeintheashes #grief #teacher #widowed #trauma #humansoul #spreaker #iheartradio #spotify #applemusic #youtube #anchorfm #bitchute #rumble #mikewagner #themikewagnershow #mikewagnercyndeedhalai #themikewagnershowcyndeedhalai  

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-mike-wagner-show--3140147/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, everybody, this is Eric Diamond and you're listening to
The Mike Wagner Show.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
The Mike Wagner Show is powered by Sonic Weeb Studios.

Speaker 3 (00:07):
Hi, this is Miamons are also known as Mia No
Time for Love.

Speaker 4 (00:11):
Check out my latest book, Lifting, available on Amazon.

Speaker 5 (00:14):
The Mike Wagner Show also brought you by The Sweet
Somas by Serena Wagner, Available on Amazon, highlighted up Bogo.

Speaker 6 (00:20):
David, It's now time for The Mike Wagner Show, powered
by Sonic Web Studios. Visit online at Sonicquebstudios dot com
for all your needs. The Mike Wagner Show can be
heard on Spreakers, Spotify, iHeartRadio, YouTube, iTunes, Anchor, FM Radio Public,
and The Mike Wagner Show dot Com. Mike brings you

(00:41):
great guests and interesting people from all across the globe.
So sit back, relax, and enjoy another great episode of
The Mike Wagner Show.

Speaker 5 (00:55):
Everybody, It's Mike for the Mike wagon Show. How are
by Soundweb Studios. Brought to you by a Fish sponsor to
The Mike Wagner Show. Internat Worrying author Me and Wilson's
Dad Missing available on Amazon and paperback and the ebook
coming soon, Missing Too, Double Spence, Double the Fun. Check
it out on Amazon. Also brought to by The Sweet
Songist by Serena Wagner, based on life of Daving Kling
thirty and King David Salms. Check out The Sweet Songs Today,

(01:17):
Amazon dot com keyword Sweet Somat Serena Wagner and The
Sense Swinging Eric Damond with All of Me. New music
coming soon Eric dim Music dot Com. Check out YouTube, Spotify, Facebook,
and more. We're here with a terrific author who's fifty
eight years old, widowed, no children. She's also a poet
and living in Trinidad and Tobacco. She's been a teacher
for twenty five plus years for retiring for medical reasons,

(01:39):
worked with young people privately a severe medical conditions and
also individuals with trauma and loss. And she has two
books out. Her first one Box In a Private Poet
Journey and also second book deals into the universal tapestry
of human experience. Two books that are called Pieces of Me,
Touch My Soul and the second is called Grief Is

(02:00):
the Price You Pay, Run into the Fire, Discover Me
and the Ashes Lively from jellal plus studios somewhere in
beautiful Trinidad, Tobago, lovely country. The amazing fifty year old
author living living in the country, teacher for twenty five years.
The books are called Pieces of Me. Grief is the
price you pay the multi talent Cindy de La Cindy,

(02:20):
good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Thanks for joining us today.

Speaker 4 (02:24):
Thank you very much. Mike.

Speaker 5 (02:26):
What's great you have me on board, Cindy, and you
got some great stuff here. You're a fifty year old author. Puet,
you're will You have no children living in Trinidad and Tobago.

Speaker 4 (02:35):
I have two children. Oh I have two adult children.

Speaker 5 (02:40):
Oh okay, all right, I was going by what the press,
he says. I will correct that. Thank you very much, Solf,
we got that. So yeah, it's okay. I mean it's reality.
It's human. We're all like that too. So anyway, you
got two grown children living Tranidad and Tobago. Yourself. You've
been teaching for twenty five plus years for retiring for
medical reasons, worked with young people privately, severe medical conditions

(03:02):
and individuals with trauma and loss. Your first book, called
Piece of Meat, touched my soul, embarking on a prior
poet journey, transcending boundaries of words and going on deep
during the soul, and the second one dells into universal tapestry,
the human experience where poetry basically serves as a bridge
between hearts and enduring power to heal, inspire, and also

(03:26):
rest as well. Called grief is the price you pay
run to fire discovery in the Ashes Forgetting at Cindy
tell us how I first got started.

Speaker 4 (03:35):
Actually, I've always had poetry spitning in my mind, and
I love putry. Poetry is kind of like my first love.
But you know, live steps in and you can't really
focus on what you want to do because I was busy.
I had a family, I had a lot of things
going on in my life. And then you know, then

(03:56):
I got ill. Well, my body got a lot of illness.
I lost four years in my life at a fog
of illness, and I was confined to a wheelchair. I
flatlined a few times. I'm allergic to a medication.

Speaker 5 (04:09):
Oh wow.

Speaker 4 (04:10):
And I can't even take a baby partner dollars, it'll
kill me. And then after that, my husband died unexpectedly
on Christmas Eve in twenty twenty three in twenty twenty one,
actually he died, and so it was a bit of
settler in because I was in a wheelchair at the time,

(04:33):
and you know, you actually just being by yourself and living,
and my children are grown, and I don't like being
a burden to anybody. So I asked God, and I
can walk again. And actually a friend of somebody very
very close to me posed a question to me because
I had all these things spinning in my head, and

(04:54):
my friend, who was very special, said Sunday, I want
you to focus on something and write me and tell
me exactly what you feel. In doing that, a poem
came out and I found myself writing in poetry, and
from that it kind of took off because I found

(05:16):
that it's easy for me sometimes to express myself in
poetry because everything that's wrong, real inside of me comes out.
And sometimes we find out ourselves doing that because you
can speak to people, yes, but you may not get
the same understanding as when you write to yourself, which
is what I love to do. I've always written to myself,

(05:36):
so portray just came out and out and out and out,
and then I decided to do a poetry book, which
is like you mentioned Pieces of Me Touch my Soul
by Cindy, and that came out and I did that book,
and I actually thought I was managing my grief pretty well,
you know, because you think, Okay, I've been through all

(05:57):
these things in my life. I've been ostracized by my family.
I was disaunder twenty one. I started off with mine
a zero, and my husband and I worked hard and
we did a lot of things. We had two kids.
We progressed in life, and then I got ill, you know,
and I thought, okay, every step in life, you know,
I managed, and I couldn't manage this because I lost

(06:20):
four years in my life. I had to learn to
readjus being in a wheelchair, given up the job and
my independence of doing things that I wanted to do
my way. Then after my husband died, I thought, okay,
I was managing you know. I was dealing with it
because I faced myself. I don't run for myself. And

(06:41):
in twenty twenty three, I got uh kind of upheaval
and I realized that I was not managing loss. I
was not managing absence, and it hit me very, very hard,
and I kind of pulled away from everybody because I
would by in silence, and I was the sort of

(07:04):
person who turned to myself and I asked myself questions,
and in one month, I wrote, Grief is the price
you pay for love. I just sat down and I wrote.
And that was written under the pseudonym by Alien, because
that's what somebody called me, you know. It was an
acronym for three names. Someone called me, and the words

(07:27):
came out, and I said, do you know what people
go to grief? And what people tell me about grief?
All the advice I've gotten from other people and what
people sent me to read and stuff I didn't read.
And then I told myself, this is how I feel,

(07:48):
So what would other people be feeling? Because sometimes what
we hear is not what we actually feel, and it
doesn't resonate in us because it goes to one air
and it comes to the other thing. And we find
ourselves sometimes feeling lost and alone and pulled into this
abyss where we keep spiraling and spiraling, and you think

(08:10):
nobody understands, nobody really knows what goes on. And sometimes
the well meaning people, they are well meaning and they
love you and they're trying to help you, but they
just don't get because grief is personal, Grief is massive.
Grief doesn't have a set time like grief does not
follow like okay, first you get anger, first, to get denial,

(08:34):
then you get this. Then it does not follow us
at pattern. And whatever you may hear people talk about
or what people may say, it may not sink with
what you are feeling at that moment. And that's what
my book came out.

Speaker 5 (08:47):
Okay, and it just came to mind as well too,
and any effects like PTSD came across as well too.
That's been a big topic, you know, losing someone you've
been through a lot, maybe you know dealing with in
a way.

Speaker 4 (09:02):
Yeah, because what happens is that you see, grief and
loss is not confined to just losing someone. It's not
someone passing away. It's not just that alone grief and loss.
You can feel loss and absence in anything. If you
have a relationship gone bad, if you lose touch with
a friend, if you lost a close friendship, if you

(09:23):
lose a pet, if you lose a job you know,
or if you may have to relocate from one place
to the other. You do suffer loss and you do
suffer grief. It's just that we don't identify it as
grief and loss. We just see it as well, these
things happen, you know, I've just lost my friendship or
whatever and the person has gone from But what you're
actually feeling is you're feeling grief because you're feeling the

(09:47):
absence of something that was in your life before. And
that is a form of grief. And the same way
like you do go through anxiety, you do go through
all the things you go through, like you mentioned PTSD,
you do go through the traumatic experience of it. And
I know that because, like I told you, I have

(10:08):
a lot of elcism my body still and most people
don't know looking at me, but I do. And like
at the time, like a lot of people would contact
me and say, look, like, you know, if you can
help me out with this or whatever, and we would talk.
And I realized that I could help people like that

(10:31):
because I understood what they were going through, because I,
myself are going through it and the trauma sometimes doesn't
hit you when you're going through it. Sometimes trauma hits
you like months after a year, after two years after
then you feel the real impact of what you went through.
And I realized that with grief and loss and that

(10:51):
I thought I was managing. I thought, you know, okay,
I was dealing with it. I was admitting to my feelings,
I was accepting everything. I was trying to, you know,
create space around it. But then I realized one important thing.
I didn't agree with it. And there's a difference between
accepting a trauma and accepting a loss and accepting it

(11:14):
the absence of something that you were familiar with before
and agreeing with that absence. Because when we accept somebody say, okay,
this happened. Yes, I know it happened. I know I
lost somebody. I know my friend is gone. I know
I lost my job, I know my relationship broke up. Yeah,
you accepted, But do you agree with it? And that

(11:36):
is where the important aspect of loss and grief comes
in in that you have to tell yourself it was good.
I had someone in my life, I had a job
that I enjoyed. I lost. I mean, I enjoyed times,
I had good times, I had bad times. But now

(11:58):
it is gone and it is no longer like if
it was a relationship. It's no longer we. It's no
longer you and me and we. Now it's just me
and you have to agree with that. Yes, I had
this before, but now it's gone and I am still
here because I have a prison for being here, and.

Speaker 5 (12:20):
Certainly as well too. You also helped people from with
severe medical conditions. Been teacher for twenty five plus years
in individuals and traumas and loss and you know, tell
us more about your profession. What inspired you to first
become a teacher.

Speaker 4 (12:36):
Well, actually, I fell into teaching because after I left
high school, you know, I didn't have the means to
go to university. So I had applied and I became
an assistant teacher. And because it wasn't my first love
to and it never crossed my mind to actually become
a teacher, but then I realized that I was very
good at it, and I loved teaching young children, and

(12:59):
especially the ones that are like five to six years old.
And I love teaching them because they, uh, you know,
they're young, and they they don't have all these perceived
ideas in their minds and stuff, and they're really open
to learning and they're open to receive what you have
to give them. And that I loved a lot, and

(13:22):
so I remained in teaching, and then it worked out
very well because my husband part of shift job and
with our kids and stuff like that. You know, a
parent had to be around. And I loved it and
I did it. And then like later on when and
then any course of teaching, of course, you do come
across the situations of children, the life situations and how

(13:44):
it influences them when they are at school. And I
found myself counseling a lot of people, parents and children
and also other teachers and other people had like I
don't know why, but a lot of people found it
very easy to talk to me and tell me their

(14:04):
problems because they know, well, I'm kind of like if
you tell me something in confidence, I don't tell anybody else,
you know. So a lot of people turned to me
when they had issues that they knew I would understand
because I had a very very vast life experience, and

(14:25):
like I found myself giving advice to people and counseling
them and supporting them and kind of guiding them and
helping them get through whatever situations you're going through in
their life. Also with students, some of the younger students,
they had issues like with their families and how their
home environment were. And you know, I kind of worked

(14:47):
with them and also parents, And afterwards I realized when
I got the feedback from parents, they would say, you know,
miss Indy, you know you had a great impact, and
you did so much for my child, and you know
you kind of help them turn in a new direction.
Because I remember at one time I was teaching like
a class that was well, we call it standard Tree
here in Trinidad, and the children are normally about between

(15:10):
eight and nine years old. And there was a child
who had a severe list and he didn't like reading
because I but do it laugh at him because he couldn't
read properly, and he would stand on stuff like that.
And I was a teacher who would go to school
very early because I don't like traffic. I don't want
to drive in traffic. So I would be in school,
probably one of the first teachers in school, and early

(15:31):
in the morning. He would come and I would say, listen,
come and sit with me and read and nobody there
were very few people around then, so he felt coot,
you know, he felt safe and comfortable, and he would
read to me and I would slowly go over the
woods with him. And by the time he left my class,
he didn't stand anymore and I remember his mom telling

(15:53):
me after he said, you know, you helped him so much.
Now I did specialize in special education, you know, so
I do know how to treat with children who have
special needs and like I don't call them disabilities really
who are differently inclined. So I do know how to
deal with that. So that was one occasion that I

(16:17):
realized that I could help a lot with children. And
then it progressed to older people because there were some
young people who had terminal illnesses and their parents would
call and they did ask me to speak to them
or if like some of them try to commit suicide
and stuff like that, and the parents would speak to

(16:39):
me and ask me for advice and how to deal
with them. And I told him, I said, listen, you know,
you don't look at it as blaming your child. You
have to look at it as what is it cause
you have to find a root cause if it's and
sometimes it's a pressure, it may not be because they
want to do it, and maybe things that occurred before,
but you have to show them how to see it
in a different light. For instance, like I remember there

(17:03):
was a situation where there was a lot of conflict
between the young boy and his parents and they wanted
him to do a certain thing and he didn't want
to do it, and you know, the parents were getting
very angry and stuff like that, and so he could
and he said, miss, I don't know what to do.
And I said, so I spoke to the parents and
I said, listen, what you have to realize is that

(17:26):
he has his own way of looking at things and
you have your own way looking at things. And what
you have to do you have to come to agreement
that you both have different views, but maybe you should
give him some space. And see I mean agreed to disagree,
but give him some space, and you both have to
make compromises about you know, Okay, this is what we

(17:47):
expected you, this is what And then the child also said, well,
you know, this is what I want to do instead.
And I don't think because they keep them comparing me
to my brothers and sisters and I am not like them.
So then you got down to like everybody's an individual,
and it kind of backed off, and then I woked
talk very good because the boy ended up being an engineer.

Speaker 5 (18:07):
Nice, okay, engineer, that's really interesting, and you deal with
specialized kids and everything like that. How much does bullying
take place in the school, especially in trained an tobacco.

Speaker 4 (18:18):
Oh, I think there's been a marked increase or not
over the years. Yeah, because like when I was teaching
and stuff like that, and think it wasn't really you
might have one or two. But over the years, like
you hear reports about it from other teachers and stuff
like that, and bullying and acts of violence. Actually, so

(18:40):
it's not as if it's just confined to the world.
I think it's a pandemic what I call a pandemic.
It's a pandemic in society all over the world, because
you know, it's like what other people see and people
look at videos on and because they have so much
access to media, it's like, you know, if they can

(19:01):
do it, then we can do it or whatever. Unlike,
there are lots of incidences where children are bullied, even
in primary school, young children and adults, and I don't know,
it just seems as if we have lost I'm not
condemning anybody, but it just seems as if we have
lost what it really means to be a human sometimes

(19:22):
and to be considerate and to have to value other
people as equal to us m H.

Speaker 5 (19:29):
And I think we need to step away from back
and appreciate the human soul and everything like that. Where
with Cindy Do Lai with pieces of meat, touch my
soul and we'll be talking about grief is a pricey
pay run into the fire, discover me in the ashes.
We'll get that in just a minute. But first listen
to the mic waders. Show up the micwadtershow dot com
power by soundwab ctdios. Fisit on our line at SOUNDQWB

(19:51):
studios dot com? Probably needs looking at a professional website
without breaking budget. Sound aquabt Studios is the answer. Sounaquab
stdeos offers fast, affordable custom web designs low the competition
way call today one eight hundred and three all three
three nine six zero. It's one eight hundred and three
all three three nine six zero. The email to support
at soundquebstdis dot com. Mentioned to Mike Wider's show the
twenty percent off your first project sound queb cdo take

(20:13):
your image in next level. Also time to give official
shout out to our official sponsor to Mike Wider's show
International Worrying out There Meamulson's thea if you love fast
based Mysteries You Love Missing by Me Mulson The available
on Amazon and paperback in ebook. Missing is fast basing
and intriguing with an unfigurable twist. Takes place some four countries,
two strangers, one target, where truth is illusion and those

(20:34):
who love me to first go Missing. It's available on Amazon,
a paperback and ebook. Missing by Me and mulson Z
has got Great Piece and Evil of an endorsby Howard's
The Love Is You Clean J winn A Cassie forst
Riley and Medious, So grab your copy today. Fore Goes
Missing by Me and Mulson's available on Amazon Coming soon,
Missing Too by Me and mulson Za Double the Spence,
Double the Fun. Check it out on Amazon. Also brought

(20:54):
to by a Sweet Salmons by Serena Wagner, based on the
life of David and in Cleaning three Scores of Pains
and King David Psalms and Sweet Songs gives a new
perspective David. Through the sums, he wrote, It's the time
of ship where it's started and complicate your Turbert relationship
or King Saul is to have love, betrayal, for repentance,
hope and more. Check out the sweets somons by by
Serena Wader on Amazon keywords Sweets Somas Serena Wacon also

(21:16):
Bright sent Say Swaying. Eric Diamond with his latest release
All of Me feature on the title track I've Gotten
to High Reach, Bring Me Sunshine and more. Eric's a
multi ward winning artists album with the year Entertainer of
the Year and a new release coming soon. Ericdi Music
dot com. Make sure you check it out today. Eric
Dimsa dot com. Follow on Facebook, YouTube, Spotify, and more.
Also check out the Mike Wadner Show. Out to the

(21:37):
Mike Winnershow dot com, forty podcast platforms hurt over one
hundred countries, Take us with you on any mobile device
and follow us on spreaker, an grafm, Spotify, PayPal, up, YouTube, Bitch,
shoot Rumble. Also on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and more. And
for great gift ideas like T shirts, popsucks, throw be
a Little top backsweeties Amazon dot com, check out the
Mike weaders Show podcast keywords Mike Widershow podcasts and for

(21:59):
mark great gift I he has Got Amazon dot com,
slash Me and Wilson's Great Books, Merchandise and more and
sports Mike Whinner Show on acrafm PayPal and The Mic
Winner Show dot com. We're here's an amazing fifty year old author, poet,
Living Trainidad Tobago, Cindy the Lie here on the Mike
Waidner's Show. And before we talk about Piece of Me,
Touch my Soul, You've been doing some writing for quite

(22:20):
some time. We're some of your favorite authors and writers
growing up.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
Some of my favorite writers, would you believe? I love horrors.
I love Stephen King.

Speaker 5 (22:34):
He's one of the best in the business. Everybody I
love when it becomes a horror, Stephen King. Everybody loves Shining.

Speaker 4 (22:41):
Yes, yeah, the Shining is one of my best. And
I love Dean Kuns and I like John sol and
I actually like David Baldaki really really nice. Yeah, so
I kind of I'm not into oh sci fi? Oh jeez.

(23:03):
I love Space Odyssey, which is really really good mm hmm.
And I also read J. R. R.

Speaker 5 (23:10):
Tolkien all this one of my favorites.

Speaker 4 (23:13):
Yeah, the Rings and stuff like that. Yeah, I love this,
And well, I love poetry obviously, Without Kipling is my
favorite poem. I read that when I was in love
if By without Kipling, and that is what kind of
caught me. How you can write so much with so
few words?

Speaker 5 (23:35):
Really? Are Kipling? That name sounds familiar and I'm trying
to remember what was it one booker poem here famously roads,
It's it's drawing blanking me right now? Really are Kipling?

Speaker 4 (23:46):
Yeah? He was here with if the poem if or whatever,
And that was a poem that I when I went
to high school, I came across that poem and I
was like, oh my god, and have someone say so
much about everything in life and about being a real

(24:08):
true person and being strong and good and honest and
peopul and truth and being just yourself but being the
best you can be and just a few words without
like having to read like books and pages and chapters.
And that is what got me, because how can you
write so much with so few words?

Speaker 5 (24:28):
Mm hmm. And I think that's a great point you
make as well too, And you may mark yourself with
pieces of Me Touch my Soul, and a bit more
about the book too as well. Be on a poor journey.

Speaker 4 (24:39):
Okay, pieces of Me Touch my soul. It covers what
really touched me, Like well, when I first started writing,
Like I told you, poetry was my first thing. And
I love poetry and I still write portray actually and
it just came out and pieces of you touch my
soul are the things that I actually call to me

(25:02):
because sometimes we can read something and it just which
is really words and it's just. But then sometimes you
read something and it resonates with you. And that's what
to me, poetry does. It resonates with you because it
says something that is deep with very few words. And
pieces of me touch my soul. That was what came

(25:23):
out of me. And they it spoke about creation, and
it talks about like moments, and it talks about heartache
and grief, and the poems also speak about the beauty
of nature and life and the importance of knowing.

Speaker 5 (25:40):
What love is, okay, and that's really interesting as well.
This led you over to grief is the price you
pay and of course you know, being like the universal
tap three of the human experience tells me more about
that book.

Speaker 4 (25:53):
And writer, Well, grief is the price you pay for love.
I think when we think about the most scourgeous thing
we can do in life, it's not bungee jumping. It's
not jumping out of a partaging out of a plain
at ten thousand feet. The most courageous thing you can
do is love someone, because when you love someone, you

(26:13):
give a part of yourself to them, and you take
a part of them into you, and that is something
that is not material. It's not a gift in the
sense of a material thing. It is a gift of
yourself to someone. And as you love, you understand that
we are human and we are mortal and we can die.

(26:35):
So that's what It's a risk you take when you
love someone, and that's the most courgeous thing you can do,
because you are taking a risk of loving someone knowing
that they may not be in your life all the time.
And that is really tight, okay from goo with the
price you pay for love, because just as you love,

(26:56):
you can lose and run into the fire the stuff
of me in the ashes. That has to do it.
After you suffer loss, you have to You can't stay
in the same spot because you are still here and
you are still present. So you have to face yourself

(27:17):
and that is running into the fire and balls and
involves facing all that you are going through, all that
you're feeling inside, agreeing with it, accepting it, and also
learning to create space around what you have lost, because
very often what happens is that you accept the loss
and things like that, and you go through your normal routine.

(27:38):
You may have jobs, you may have children to say about,
you may have a home, you may have responsibilities and
obligations to say about, and you get pought up in
that routine. But the grief is still very deep inside
of you. And while it is okay to feel all
the emotions, it is not okay to short change yourself
and to limit yourself by the fact that, Okay, I

(28:00):
have this loss, feel sorry for me. I feel sorry
for myself. And you begin to go down and self
pity and you begin to wollow on this olf pitty
and you kind of find yourself spiral and in the
same cycle over and over. You're up, you're down, your back,
your foot and but you really what you're doing is
you are missing the purpose of what you are here for.

(28:24):
And maybe there is a reason that you underwent this
grief and this loss. Maybe there is a reason why
you are still here, especially the person who you lost
has gone, is died, or even if it's a relationship breakup,
you know there is a reason. While you are still
present and you have to learn to step out. You

(28:45):
can hold what you can hold what you had inside
of you, because you can't get rid of your memories.
And it's not it's a computer where you can just
press delete or erase and it's all gone. Your mind
will always bring it back up. So what you have
to do is you have to learn to create space
around it in that you hold on you tragy memories

(29:05):
you have. But you step out and you might start
doing Okay, let me start journaling. Let me start probably
going out of friends or joining a group or a community,
or doing some activity that you probably wanted to do
or you probably shared with someone who you lost. And
this way you are giving yourself room to grow and

(29:26):
to become and you never know what can happen because
life doesn't come up with any guarantees. It doesn't say that, okay,
this person is gone and now you just flick a
switch and you just go to next age. You have
to learn how to move and how to create your
own space and be comfortable moving forward because you will

(29:52):
always carrently lost in you. That's a fact of life
and you can't under the past. So what you have
to do is you have to step out and that's
what grief did for that, what this book did for me,
because unless I had to face what I went through
and what I was feeling inside of me, I would
always keep sparling because it was putting me down. And

(30:13):
I said, no, this is not me, this is not
I don't want to feel this way. I know it is.
Most people say it's normal. Most people say, you know,
this is how we're just supposed to be. You know,
you can't control it or whatever, And I said, no,
I mean, I do not want to keep going down,
keep trying to go up and then falling tank steps backwards.

(30:34):
I don't want to do that. I want to see
where I am, what I want to face what I'm feeling.
I'm not going to run from it. So that's what
I run into the fire. Because when you go to grief,
we think, okay, we're just gonna look at what we lost.
But then you realize that your mind is a library

(30:54):
and it has it has categories, just a library. So
every time you suffer disappointed, every time you suffer rejection,
every time you suffer a hood, your mind will pull
all the books. So same when you suffer a grief
and a loss it's going to pull back to all
the times that you lost something, You lost a friendship,
you lost your family, you lost a job, and all

(31:18):
those other feelings come tumbling in. And that's what the
book was about. Because when I was going through the
process of trying to get through with the loss of
app and the absence that I felt to me of
that person who was a part of me, I found
myself spiraling to memories of when I was growing up
and the battles that I had to go through, and

(31:39):
when I felt, you know, lost and alone, and when
I felt self doubt and when you know, you because
you doubt your ability to get through things. So all
these things come spiraling into you and you feel yourself
as inadequate. You don't feel yourself as you're never going
to get over this, and you see what you face

(32:00):
it and you said, well, okay it happened. What lesson
did I learn from it? So all those things, when
you do look in retrospect, all those things brought you
to where you are now, and you realize that you're
a lot stronger than you thought you were. And by
facing it and by setting your mind in such a

(32:23):
way that okay, this is what happened. This is what
I felt okay before somebody treated me badly and I
lost a friendship or I lost a relationship I had.
What did I learn from it? You know, I learned
to be calmer. I learned to be stronger. I learned
to be clearly I'm myself. I learned to be more

(32:44):
careful in you know, opening up to people. I learned
to see things differently. So you realize that you do
acquire a lot of lessons from every experience you have.
So in the book, what I did is that I
wrote about how we get pulled into things. And surprisingly,

(33:06):
what I found was that I have had feedback on
Amazon dot com and what people wrote in the reviews,
I mean, it really touched me because a lot of
people said that, you know, this is things that you
don't consider. It touched him. And one person actually wrote
that his wife right now has a terminal illness and

(33:27):
he read the book, and the book resonated with him
and it helped him a lot, because it gave him
a better frame of mine, you know, and even personally,
like I gave the book to like people who I
know who suffered loss, like other widows and people who
like suffered a loss of children and stuff like that,
and they said so one of the persons coming in

(33:49):
and said, Sindy, I didn't think anybody understood, and I
didn't think that what I was feeling was right. You know,
I thought something was wrong with him because I was
this so many years afterwards. These feelings were still with me,
and I didn't think anybody understood, and I didn't think,
you know, you are saying what I can't say to myself,

(34:10):
but what I feel. And I realized that a lot
of people feel marginalized, they feel alone because they think
if they can still keep feeling this way after years
have passed, something is wrong with them. And I was
glad in essense because it gave people comfort, and that's
what I wanted to do with the book. The intention

(34:30):
was to let people know that it is normal to
still continue to feel these things. It is normal to
still cry, it's normal. It's okay that you don't feel
good sometimes it's okay that you know you want to
scream still. But it's also okay to say, well, I

(34:53):
want to step out a bit, and I want to
do other things, and I want to move forward and
create space and it's normal to accept and agree with
what you have lost while holding on to your memories.

Speaker 5 (35:10):
And I think you've brought some really good points as
well too. You know, you're taking you know, the stages
of grief to a whole new level. And what else
can people learn from the book and maybe more about
the grief process, especially Okay, what they could earn.

Speaker 4 (35:22):
Move from the book is that you can't categorize it.
You cannot put it in a timeshell. Because sometimes you
see people afterwards and they'd be like, oh my god,
but you lost this person three or four years ago,
you know, and why are you still talking, why are
you still thinking? And you know, why you still mention

(35:44):
them so much as a fact and what you have
to do. And sometimes people feel bad because they think, well,
you know, maybe I should be moving on, maybe I
shouldn't remember things or the person I lost or whatever.
But what do you have to realize is that don't
deny what you have, don't deny the person. Instead, honor

(36:04):
their memories. And you can tell people like, listen, I
understand that you know it may seem odd to you
that I still talk about this person or I still remember,
but it was part of my existence. It was part
of my past and it's something that had a great
impact on me and I want to honor that memory.

(36:25):
And this is how I honor the memory. This is
how I honor that person in my life. So you
don't deny the existence of the person by trying to
fit into what people expect of you, because listen, nobody's
really going to understand people who have lost other people
to nobody's really going to understand your specific loss because

(36:46):
it is personal to you. And don't try to fall
into the I don't want to use you a trap,
but don't try to fall into.

Speaker 5 (36:57):
The rabbit hole cycle something like that.

Speaker 4 (37:04):
Yeah, yeah, don't fall into this cycle of thinking that, Okay,
this person lost somebody and look how they are moving
ahead and stuff like that, and think what is wrong
with me? There's nothing wrong with you, And you will
there will be moments when you feel bad, and especially
in this silence and when you're by yourself and things

(37:26):
like that, it will hit you very hard, and you
can allow yourself to be What I want to tell
people is that there's a difference between feeling your grief
and wallowing self pity, because when you wallow in self pity.
What you are doing is you are allowing yourself to
feel sorry for yourself and say, oh, this is not fair.

(37:48):
Why does this have to happen to me? Why do
I have to feel all this hurt? This wasn't right,
this person left me, et cetera, et cetera. And we
go through that, and yes, it is okay face those things,
but there must be a degree to which you have
to tell yourself, well it happened. I can pull myself

(38:10):
up and I can see it for what it was,
for what it is. Remember the good things, make learning
lessons from the bad things. But value yourself because when
you are down self pity, what you do is you
are devaluing who you are. You're negating your own strengths,

(38:30):
You're negating your own value. And very often what we
find is that we may ask other people how are
you feeling? But do we ever stop to ask ourselves, Okay,
how am I feeling? And self care? Self care is
very important to us because especially when you're going through
a difficult time, like you say, I don't know why

(38:52):
I feel this way. You know, my head is spinning
because it keeps going and pain is so much what
happened and said, wait, stop, it is hurting. I have
a loss, But what exactly am I feeling? Sometimes you
may be feeling anger. Sometimes you may be feeling you
may be reacting to something that happened, and you allowing
yourself to use the pain or the loss of that

(39:15):
person as an excuse. But what you're really doing is
you might be upset at something happening in your life
and that kind of triggers the feeling of loss in
you because you think, oh, it's going to happen all
over again, you know, say you got upset with your
children or something right, and then you tell yourself, well,
you know, this is how it's always been, and this
is and I'm just feeling the pain. And then you

(39:37):
slip into the whole grief thing and you say, well,
you know this is what I felt, and now I'm
gonna feel even worse because this is happening, and you
have to stop yourself. This is where I think recording
your thoughts and a lot of people talk about journaling,
which is very very good. Actually, when you start, when
you start recording your thoughts, especially when you are going

(40:01):
through when you're feeling bad, it is a good point
for you to write down exactly what you're feeling, all
the thoughts, even on the sideline, things that come into
your mind. You know, you write it down so that
and you have to start timing yourself. And it's going
to be very hard to do that because we are

(40:24):
humans and we just want to just give in and
you know, and just give up and say, okay, well,
yes this is my pain, this is my crossbeer, this
is what happened in my life. And things are never
going to change. I'm always going to feel this rut
and this lost. But when you start writing down exactly
what you feel, the good and the bad, the anger,

(40:46):
what do you say? Okay, you know it just hurts
too much and I don't want to go through this
and I hate myself and I hate this person for
laving me. You write on all those things, but it's
good or bad. Write it down, but give yourself like
a time limit, whether it's an hour or set a
time off or even if you don't want even if

(41:07):
you don't want to write. We all have phones and
we all have things that we can record a voice,
talk to yourself, say it out loud, because yeah, I know, Casett,
yeah you know, And The thing is when you talk
to yourself, very often here in your own voice, seeing
things you know, it catches your attention more something that

(41:30):
I'm writing. But you see when you go back, like
later on and you read over what you write, that
that gives you a perspective of what you're feeling, of
what is happening inside of you, of what is triggering you,
of what exactly you feel, because sometimes you deny it

(41:51):
to yourself and it's only when you are in the
depth of something that you really see where things are
coming from and you really realize what is the outside pressures.
So that's another thing you can do. And also in
the book you can also learn about some things I
gave out some things to bear in mind, things like,

(42:13):
you know, you have to give yourself grace, You have
to forgive yourself. You have to learn to Sometimes we
think we allow people to help us, but what we're
really doing is pushing their back. Is that somebody your
friends might come, or your family or being come say well,

(42:33):
you know, I want to be there if you want
to happen, and you say no, it's okay, you know,
or whatever, and you don't understand. But sometimes maybe should
try to explain to people more exactly what is happening
inside of you, and maybe they can get a better understanding.
And you also have to realize that you are not

(42:54):
the only person suffering the loss. If you have children,
then maybe suffering loss in a different way, but they're
self suffering the loss. Or you might have friends or
something or whatever and they're going through the same process
in a different way, but they are also feeling lost.
And you have to you also have to not be
so self centered that you think I'm doing anyone suffering

(43:16):
all this and this is impact to me the greatest. No,
it's not impacting the greatest. It just affects everybody else
to a different degree depending on their connection to whatever
you will was lost.

Speaker 5 (43:27):
Okay, all right? And that sounds like some really good
points as well too, and more than the two books
with the author Cindy Delight, you listen to the Mike
Wedders Show at the Mike Weddershow dot Com powered by
swab Cdios, Brought to by professional sponsor to the Mike
Wadner Show. Interust Worring author Me and Busti's They're Missing
the Sweet SARMs by Serena Wagner based on Life of Dating,
cluing theory, Squizz of pains Kin, David Psalms, Amazon dot com.

(43:48):
Keyword sweet sem as Serena Wagner and the sense there Swaying.
Eric Damon Worth all of Me. New music coming soon
ericdi Music dot com. We'll be back to the amazing
author Cindy Delight after this time.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Hey, everybody, this is there Diamond and you're listening to
The Mike Wagner Show.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
The Mike Wagner Show is powered by Sonicweb Studios. If
you're looking to start or upgrade your online presence, visit
www dot Sonicwebstudios dot com For all of your online needs.
Call one eight hundred three oh three three nine six
zero or visit us online at www dot sonicwebstudios dot

(44:23):
com To get started today, mention The Mike Wagner Show
and get twenty percent off your project. Sonicweb Studios take
your image to the next level.

Speaker 3 (44:32):
Hi, I'm Burl.

Speaker 7 (44:33):
Bear, legendary American author, and I'm here to tell you
about Missing, the new mystery suspense novel by me and
moson Ze. It's really a good book, very surprising, never
metaphor I didn't like, especially in this book. Here you
have a main character whose life has been filled with
the spare. His wife died a nine to eleven is
a young daughter died of a rare disease. He's not
a happy camper. What does he do for a living.

(44:55):
He's a physical fitness trainer. When somebody hardly knows, somebody's
never met, he always encountered of our internet chat line
goes missing.

Speaker 3 (45:03):
This is his journey. He's going to go rescue them.

Speaker 7 (45:07):
This is his search for redemption and search for his
own personal promise.

Speaker 3 (45:11):
Land.

Speaker 7 (45:11):
He couldn't do anything about the death of his wife,
the death of his child, but maybe he could rescue
this woman he's never.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Met, that is, if she exists.

Speaker 7 (45:18):
Missing by Me and Moss and Zea international in scope,
vastly entertaining, full of surprises. I suggest you get it
either paperback or an electronic condition for your kindle.

Speaker 3 (45:28):
Missing by Me and moson Zea.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
Hey everybody, this is Eric Diamond. You're listening to the
Mike Wagner Show. You can check out our music and
know all about us at www dot ericdiamondmusic dot com.
Follow us on Facebook, YouTube, Spotify, TikTok. You can friend
me on Facebook You can follow me on Facebook and
you can even buy both of my albums off of Facebook.

(45:51):
Just get a hold of me on the Facebook Messenger.
We have them available in CD or thumb drive. Thank
you so much and hope you have a great day.

Speaker 5 (45:59):
Mike White Show is brought to you by Serena Wagner's
book The Sweet Sawmist, now availed on Emson. This book
includes thirty exquisite paintings by well known and unknown painters
and King David Psalms. The Sweets Aalmist gives us a
new perspective on his life in this book. Through the Psalms,
he wrote. His time as a shepherd in the field
is where the book starts, and it goes on to
describe his complicated and turbulent relationship with King Saul, as

(46:19):
well as other events. It's a story of love, betrayal, repentance,
and more. It also offers advice on approaching God and
living a life that pleases him. Check out the book
The Sweet Salmist by Serena Wagner, now available on Amazon
keywords Sweet Salmist Sorena Wagner. Hey, Hey, this is Ray
Powers and boy, are you in luck right place, right time?

Speaker 2 (46:40):
Tuned into the Mike Wagner Show.

Speaker 1 (46:43):
You heard Me.

Speaker 5 (46:48):
With beccall outhor Cindy Julae here on the Mike Wagner
Show with Pieces of Me Touch My Soul plus Grief
is a price you pay, Run into the Fire, Discover
Me in the Ashes, and just lastly as well to
where can we find your book? And find it works
at Cindy Okay, Well.

Speaker 4 (47:04):
Pieces of Me Touch My Soul by Cindy that is
also that is available on Amazon dot com. And also
grief is sur price you pay for love, Run into
the Fire, Discovered Me in the Ashes I was written
on the pseudonym Alien and that is also available on Amazon.
Both books are available on Amazon.

Speaker 5 (47:21):
All right, well, certenly check those out and a couple
more things. Cindy, who do you consider biggest influence in
your career?

Speaker 4 (47:28):
Our friend of mine, because he gave me inspiration to
actually start writing. Like I told you, he asked a question,
I want you to focus, and from that actually came everything.
And I think the key direction in my life has
always been God. So because that is where I've got

(47:51):
my strength from. Because I tell everybody I don't know
how I live by first face because medically I'm not
supposed to actually be here because my doctors nobody understands
how I can live without medication and I can walk
after I was in a wheelchair for eleven and a
half years, or how I can do the things I

(48:15):
do so.

Speaker 5 (48:20):
And I think that's really great as well too. And
I forgot to ask you what can we expect me
in twenty twenty five and beyond?

Speaker 4 (48:26):
Actually, I have another book in the making. This one
is called What in Our Life Love Exists? And it
speaks about you know, the traumas people go through in
relationships and stuff like that, aspecially toxic relationships and manipulation
when people manipulate love today, advantage and the fact that

(48:48):
no matter what we think or how bad something they see,
love does exist. And there are true and genuine people
out in the world who knows how to really love
someone unconditionally.

Speaker 5 (49:00):
Okay, well, it's really good, ask some look forward to
And lastly, what's the best advice you can give the
anybody at this point?

Speaker 4 (49:09):
One thing you should never do is let life experiences
determine or other people's opinion determine your expectations and who
you are, because when you get down to it, You're
not a clue, You're not a duplicate. There's only one
you in this world, and who you are is always more.

Speaker 5 (49:31):
Nevertheless, m and I think that's great advice as well too.
We're here with author Cindy the Lion and Mike Wahiner's
show with Pieces of Me, and also grief is a
price you pay. Cindy, a very big thank you time.
You've been absolutely fantastic, learning a lot. Looking for him soon,
keeps up today, keep in touch live Ivy back. And
what's your website? How do people contact you? Where people

(49:51):
purchase or check out your books?

Speaker 4 (49:54):
Okay, you can get my box. Grief is a price
you piece for love, run into the fire, this Government
the Ashes by Failure on Amazon dot com and Pieces
of Me Touch My Soul by Cindy on Amazon dot com.
And also there is an autio's website call Faylion dot
com that you can visit also.

Speaker 5 (50:14):
Okay, well, certainly check that out once again, Cindy, very
big thank you, tav you event AB's amazing. Looking for
him soon, keeps up today, keep in touch, live at
the back. We wish all past and Citi you definitely
have a great future.

Speaker 4 (50:25):
Thank you very much. Mike is very nice speaking to you.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
The Mike Wagner Show is powered by Sonicweb Studios. If
you're looking to start or upgrade your online presence, visit
www dot Sonicwebstudios dot com for all of your online needs.
Call one eight hundred three oh three three nine six
zero or visit us online at www dot Sonicwebstudios dot

(50:48):
com to get started today, Mention The Mike Wagner Show
and get twenty percent off your project. Sonicweb Studios take
your image to the next level.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
Hey, everybody, just deserve time and you listen to The
Mike Wagner Show. You can check out our music and
know all about us at www dot Eric Dunmomusic dot com.
Follow us on Facebook, YouTube, Spotify, TikTok. You can friend
me on Facebook. You can follow me on Facebook, and
you can even buy both of my albums off of Facebook.

(51:19):
Just get a hold of me on the Facebook Messenger.
We have them available in CD or thumb drive. Thank
you so much and hope you have a great day.

Speaker 3 (51:27):
Hi.

Speaker 7 (51:27):
I'm burl Bert, legendary American author, and I'm here to
tell you about Missing the new mystery suspense novel by
Me and mosen Ze is really a good book, very surprising,
never metaphor. I didn't like especially this book. Here you
have a main character whose life has been filled with
the spear. His wife died a nine to eleven is
a young daughter died of a rare disease. He's not

(51:47):
a happy camper.

Speaker 3 (51:48):
What does he do for a living.

Speaker 7 (51:49):
He's a physical fitness trainer. When somebody hardly knows, somebody's
never met he only has encountered of our internet chat
line goes missing.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
This is his journey. He's going to go rescue them.

Speaker 7 (52:01):
This is his search for redemption and search for his
own personal promised land. He couldn't do anything about the
death of his wife, the death of his child, but
maybe he could rescue this woman he's never met, that is,
if she exists. Missing by Me and mosts and Zeia
international in scope, vastly entertaining, full of surprises. I suggest
you get it either paperback or an electronic condition for

(52:21):
your kindle.

Speaker 3 (52:22):
Missing by Me and Moss and Zia.

Speaker 5 (52:24):
The Mike Wagner Show is brought to you by Serena
Wagner's book The Sweet Sawmist Now availb on Emson. This
book includes thirty exquisite pintings by well known and unknown
painters and King David Palms. The Sweet Salmist gives us
a new perspective on his life in this book through
the songs he wrote. His time as a shepherd in
the field is where the book starts, and it goes
on to describe his complicated and turbulent relationship with King Saul,

(52:44):
as well as other events. It's a story of love, betrayal, repentance,
and more. It also offers advice and approaching God and
living a life that pleases him. Check out the book
The Sweet Soamist by Serena Wagner, now available on Amazon
keywords Sweet Salmist Serena Wagner.

Speaker 6 (53:01):
Thanks for listening to The Mike Wagner Show powered by
Sonicweb Studios. Visit online at Sonicwebstudios dot com for all
your needs. The Mike Wagner Show can be heard on Spreakers, Spotify, iHeartRadio, iTunes,
YouTube Anchor, FM Radio Public, and The Mike Wagner Show
dot Com. Please sport our program with your donations at
The Mike Wagnshow dot Com. Join us again next time

(53:24):
for another great episode of the Mike Wagner Show,
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal

NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal

Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.