September 18, 2025 • 42 mins
. Maurice and Kafi reflect on 25 years of marriage, discussing how they plan to transition into the next chapter by focusing on growth, influence, and creating a legacy of inspiration. They share insights on overcoming challenges, prioritizing personal and relational development, and shifting from planting to harvesting the fruits of their labor.
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Connect with Maurice and Kafi
- Be a guest by joining PodMatch: https://bit.ly/joinpodmatchnofruitpodcast
- Business Email: mchism@chismgroup.net
- Business Address: PO Box 460, Secane, PA 19018
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/nofruitpodcast
- Facebook: https://facebook.com/nofruitpodcast
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@nofruitpodcast
- Purchase our apparel https://bit.ly/nofruitpodcastapparel
- Purchase “Well Why Not Workbook”: https://accelerateyourimpact.co/
- Register for a course: https://accelerateyourimpact.co/
- Get FREE digital books: https://accelerateyourimpact.co/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Looking ahead, what's next for us in the next twenty
five years. We'll talk about it right after this.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Let's talk about love and monment. The Man of God
intend life experience to be show.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
From time hope transforms. Hey, y'all, what's going on?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Hey? Family?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
So is your well known? We just celebrated twenty five
years of marriage and so uh and so we.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Are looking briefest applause.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
And sometimes uh, you know, we as a couple, we
try to look ahead, but because of things have been
so interesting being married, even if you try to look ahead,
you get kind of stuck because you're dealing with what's
(01:18):
going on today. And I'm saying that because one of
the things or some of the things that we've been
dealing with. I mean, if if, if you can just
take a day in our life, you know, from my
great aunt being sick, my mom being sick, my brother
(01:40):
being sick, Coffer's mind being sick. I mean, everyone has
literally that stuff. For my mom. My mom didn't touch
the hospital, but those three touched the hospital one way
or another.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Has been sick.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah, but my mom has been sick. Coffer, You've been sick,
you know, not feeling the.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Greatest feeling well. I don't want to say I'm sick.
I don't I don't want to go that route. I'm
not feeling my best sick in love?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
No, what's it called?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
What?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
No? I'm sorry, I'll scratch that, but it's something along
those lines. But the reality is is that because all
these things have been challenging to deal with. You know,
it's some mental ups and down, some emotional ups and
(02:32):
downs and whatever. But because of some of those things,
you get stuck and you don't know how to move
forward because you're so stuck in today, and sometimes you're like, hey,
can I just get past today?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I don't know that we can't, you know, figure out
how to get pasted today, or you're not thinking about tomorrow.
It's just so much that goes on in the one
day that you don't have time. You don't have that respite,
you don't have that moment to do any planning. You know,
about what to wear tomorrow, what's going to be for
(03:06):
dinner tomorrow, you know those types of things, because so
much has been pressed upon you for that right now,
that here and now, like as soon as you hang
up the phone, you know, Maurice, you've had those days.
Soon as you hang up the phone, then the next
person is calling with their issue or their concern or
just sharing what they've been going through right in a
(03:30):
negative way throughout the day. So they're not even calling
just to kind of give you a praise report.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
They're calling like yeah, dude, like what's up, and you're like, well, what's.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Wrong with you?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
And then it just opens up the floodgates and they
just begin to spill their guts and it, you know,
makes it difficult that way, right.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
You know, And so I think what's been challenging in
that has been too all right, CoFe, Yes, let's sit
down and let's think about what because we haven't reached
this benchmark, what is the next benchmark we were like
to reach? You know, what is that we want to do?
(04:13):
Because the first twenty five years of our marriage, yeah,
it has been a very very interesting one, you know,
and you know, between raising kids and if you've been
following us for a long time, you you would have
heard some of the challenges that we've talked about, repos bankruptcies, moving,
(04:35):
whatever it might be, you know, so you know, changing jobs,
not working long, you know, whatever it might have been.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
And that's even without having kids. Like, so people go
through that right in general not being married, Like you
can go through that just period, but to go through
it with a partner makes it even I don't want
to say it easier or more challenging, It just it.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
You know, it's just adds to it, does you know.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
And because now you're also trying to bring together to
families and you know, and Kyp and I talked about
this how in some cases when we listen to other
people that are married where their in laws are truly
just in laws and sometimes just having a basic conversation
(05:27):
can be hard where I don't have. I don't think
we have that experience, not like other people when they
talk about their in laws.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Right, but we're also not like some people were like, oh,
my mother in law's my best friend and we go
hang out and yeah, gets done together.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
We're not there either, So and that's all well and fine,
I think for me.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
When you're going as newlyweds and even dealing with your
first twenty five years of marriage, like you said, until
if you have kids right away like we did, so
those first twenty five so then your kids are twenty
four and twenty you know, very close to very close
to you know, your anniversary.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
So yeah, life does change.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
But I do know people who, hey, they didn't start
having kids until they've been married ten years, right, So
with twenty five years of marriage, they still got a
fifteen year old, you know, so that may look a
lot differently.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
So when they're play book, some of them might have
a fifteen month old, right, so.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
They're planning, excuse me, may look a lot differently for
the next twenty five years, going into their fiftieth anniversary.
So but I think for Maurice and I, you know,
the first twenty five years, yes, it was certainly planning
a family, planning a home and making a house into
a home, trying to be financially sound with our finances
(06:51):
and our cars, and building some of those things, because
again I think where we, you know, got married, we
had one car, and we did have a house and
those things, but we were trying to build those I
didn't have a car. I didn't even have a license
when we got married, so some people may laugh at that,
but I didn't. I didn't know.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I didn't have a license to drive.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
So some of those first twenty five years was growing
myself and making myself better in those regards. So for me,
the next twenty five years is looking at how to retire.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
With my husband.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
You know what does that look like? And again I'm
not saying retire like in a hey we're stopping to
work type of a thing, but just slowing because that's
just a normal thing people say retires. So I think
things will shift. Just recently reading a book or listening
(07:53):
to a book and they were saying, you know how
certain ethnic groups or faiths don't believe in retirement. Right,
you just keep working like you don't stop working, like
you put You were put here on earth to work
to serve, so you continue to do that.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I think I think that's the key right there. What
you're saying is that when you think of work, what
is the idea of work?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Right? And a lot of times we're fed is nine
to five. You know, you work for an employer, but
there's so many things more through that when you really
think about it. On what all you do throughout the week,
throughout the day, whether you're serving on a community organization,
school board, something with your church, you know, whatever it
(08:42):
may be, Like you put in a lot of hours
and you know that's your volunteer and that you serving.
So they're just saying like, hey, even whatever your vocation
may have been, if you are a doctor, like you
can can all right, well you don't have to be
a doctor at the hospital or at the doctor's office.
You can now provide that education somewhere else, that information
(09:04):
somewhere else, and be an advocate for something. You can
be an advisor somewhere. So again, what I'm getting it
too is kind of like what we're doing right now
on this podcast, my recent I are advocating marriage. We
are advising you on how you know to stay married
(09:25):
from just going through our.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Own trials and tribute, yes, our own ups and.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Downs, our own you know, just life. So I would
certainly say that that's what we're looking to do the
next twenty five years is to continue to grow what
you have right here, what we're offering now, that's what
I would say our goal and our focus is for
the next twenty.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Five and see, go ahead. No, I was gonna say,
just to be a little more specific, Yes, you know,
we will love for this podcast to reach way more people.
We would love that, we would love for our business,
Chistom Group LLC, to grow and to touch more businesses
(10:15):
across the world of how to encourage your employees and
how to keep them and maintain them whatever it might be.
You know, we would love for people to find their voice,
you know, in podcasting to say hey, you know what,
I do have a message, And I just use podcasts
(10:35):
as an example, but it could be anywhere to say, hey,
you know what, I am valuable no matter where I am.
And sometimes we lose our voice in some certain spaces
and places because we weren't taught to stay committed one
to ourselves. We weren't always taught to be encouraged, you know.
(10:56):
So I think or to stay encouraged and to be
a duple killed someone else. And a lot of times
we see that in marketing and you know, advertising, whatever
it might be. You know. So, I think that the
next twenty five years for me would be to ensure
that each and every one of you feeling power individually,
(11:20):
but in addition to that, feeling powered together and not
just you and your spouse. And I e. When I
started talking about the in law part, how do you
also incorporate that family bond, you know, across the board
because we see how important families are. You know, to
(11:45):
the growth and the maturation of everybody, because even though
you ninety years old, you're still growing. Now. You might
not be growing taller, right, you might be growing downward,
you know, but but you're still growing because you're still learning.
You're still here. And one of the things I had
(12:07):
learned in one of my classes at Temple University where
we learned about different cultures and just how the respect,
especially in Asian cultures, the respect between elders and I
(12:28):
don't know how to say youngins, I guess, but but yeah,
you know, but there is a level of respect and
a level of responsibility both ways, you know. So it's
not about hey, you know what, I need you to
go and because you're my kid or my grandkid or
(12:48):
whatever else, you need to run to the store and
do whatever it is. No, there has to be a
level of respect the other way too, you know. So
if there's something else going on, I believe the thought
was the elders have to have a level of protection.
There's a duty of protection and something else to those
that are younger, you know. And so so there is
(13:12):
a mutual level of respect and responsibility both ways, you know.
So you can't just sit back and say hey, well,
I'm an elder. You just need to do whatever. I say. No,
you have a responsibility. And that's something that we don't
always talk about and respond to very well whatever, because
(13:33):
you know, people say, hey, well I've done my work,
just wait till you get to my age. Well, you know,
one tell us how you got to that age, you know,
because a lot of times people don't talk and they
don't speak about some of their trials and tribulations, some
of their ups and downs. And then you know, and
then when the situation comes up, now you expect for
(13:55):
someone to say, you know, some of the elders say, well,
don't do this. Well, I'm in a situation from an
emotional perspective. This is how I feel in my logical
perspective at that moment. This is how I'm going to
go about it. Well, I told you don't do well.
(14:17):
No that Sometimes that's not good enough. Maybe you should
have talked about or given an idea about that situation
prior to now. Sometimes situationally you can't talk about it,
but if you can share it one way or another.
You know, I understand that we laugh and joke and
talk about family members and family opportunities and situations where
(14:40):
everybody's laughing and joking, but we don't have those moments
where we talk about stuff that's a little more serious.
So that's one of the things that I have learned
recently when talking to my two children, of giving more
information to them that way, when it's time to handle something,
(15:03):
they're like, all right, Dad, I see where you're coming from. Oh.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I think that's one thing that they said, even when
they were youngsters, when they had transitioned from middle school
to high school, you sat them down, You're like, look,
high school different, y'all right, you know you're going to
you should expect these things, and this is you know,
could happen when I was in high school. This happened,
and so forth and so on. And I do remember
our daughter saying like, Dad.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
You know what the stuff you said, it happened. You know,
you know it happened.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
You know. So I think just being open and honest
and upfront with them laying that foundation. I think your
brother is even saying it now. It's like he's saying, like,
my kids as adults, they're grown. I don't have to
talk to them like they're kids anymore, right, you know,
for him, his kids have kids right around all of them.
(15:55):
But you know, you know, so certainly not sugar coating information,
you know, just being open and honest because in reality,
that's how they handle things on a day to day basis.
Nobody's looking at them and talking, not saying no one,
but in their work environment and in their day to
(16:16):
day they're being looked at as adults, right. You know,
you know, I think someone said to my son recently
they thought he was like thirty years old.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Yeah, I think that, you know, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
So because it was his birthday and for where they were,
for where he works, they were saying happy birthday, and
you know, they thought he was thirty. Well, the challenge
with that is is that he doesn't understand how he
acts and responds and how he speaks can be viewed
(16:51):
as someone is a little older, a little more mature.
It can be because of Yeah, it's just he just
comes up a little older.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
But that's no different than that he doesn't talk in
a lot of slang. He's not, doesn't, you know, behave
and dressed and whatever like somebody.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Who is his age were younger.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
But here's the reality though, that's no different than what
you thought.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Right, that's about to say, like, you know, you did
not dress or talk like those who are of your age.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
Right.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
So yeah, So for those of you that know again
that knows the story. You know, Confa is older than me.
Now when I say is older, like, she's not like
twenty years older, you know, she's she's.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
It wasn't like I was older than you, right.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
You know, but she's a couple, you know, two two
and a half closer to three. But you know, we'll
leave it that way. But when she she stated to
me she thought I was older than her because of
how I spoke, how I carried my so you know
what I was doing at that time when she met me.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
You know.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
So sometimes people that are in you know, a certain
age bracket aren't speaking in front of groups of people
and keeping their attention and all those types of things
because people are not always respecting them in that space. Well,
I didn't have that, you know, and even till today,
in all honesty, especially since I was a church situation.
(18:27):
What happens today is that some of those same people, see,
they get me mixed up with my brother. You know,
they keep saying, Maurice, you know whatever, and he has
to say no, I'm not I'm Michael, not Maurice because
of the uh. Some people I think it's just laziness
(18:47):
on one hand, but then there's others that genuinely like, hey,
you know, Maurice had left such an impact on a situation.
I mean, I've had that in multiple places I've been,
you know, so you know. So I think those are
the type of things where you understand, one, what's your voice?
(19:07):
As I just mentioned earlier, you know your impact, you know,
and so how do you ensure that that impact is
not just felt on the outside, but it's felt on
the inside, you know, And so as you keep moving
forward in your relationship to make sure that I mean,
and I think about some of my family members where
(19:28):
they want to be the leader, right, but it's like,
you understand you really don't have leadership qualities, right, You
understand that you really don't have that charisma to talk
to any and everybody. People are sometimes can be amazed
at how I know most of the people, right, but
in the family, not just in this state, but you know,
(19:50):
across the United States, I know most or I know
of most or about most, and people are like, well,
how do you know them? And there's then the other. Well, one,
I'm making my business and number two I am closer
to or I listen to some of the elders when
they talk about the family stuff, and I committed to memory,
(20:16):
not on purpose necessarily, but it just sticks, you know.
And so and then I'm kind of glad because when
Kapp and I started dating, I'm like, are we related?
Speaker 4 (20:29):
You know?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
You know, But it's just those things. Hey, you know,
if you really want to be the leader, you want
to put forth a better output when it comes to family.
People talk about generational wealth, whatever it is. You got
to be able to speak. You have to be able
to hold yourself up in a true leadership position and
(20:55):
understand what that means, what comes with leadership, responsibility, character, values, morals,
whatever it might be. And so those are things I
know for myself, I would like to really exhibit more
in the next twenty five years because we're transitioning into
right now, we're in that sandwich position. We're in that sandwich,
(21:16):
you know, space where we're not the elders, we're not
the kids, we're really sandwich and we're worried about it.
A little bit of everybody right now, which takes away
again some of our moments of growth as a couple
because it kind of pulls us apart. And so and recently,
(21:36):
Kauf and I had this conversation where we're like, and
I will be honest, I haven't always been the nicest
in our conversations. I haven't been you know, And and
or because the way I pointed things out, Coppa would
take things negatively, and that's.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Me as a fault with my own inner head space.
You know, I take things very personal, personal and to heart,
and I beat myself up internally.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
A lot of times.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
I'm either beating myself up and taking that conversation and
replaying it in my head and beating myself up over
it or whatever caused that conversation to happen, and like, oh,
you idiot, you shouldn't have said this or shouldn't have
done that. Or I'm like, oh, forget about it, and
I just move on. Those are my two.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
But I'm saying that because Kafa had a conversation with
a family member and she noticed how things that I
might have mentioned in the past. She's like, wow, Maurice's like,
I could kind of really see where you're coming from
because in our reality, Maurice, that's what irks me, you know,
(23:02):
And I'm like, yeah, so how does that make you
look and feel moving forward?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
You know?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
How do you build upond that? You know? But I
also understand that if she would have said that in past,
I might have been like, well I told you so
I didn't come off that.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Way, or you would have been like, what are you
gonna do about it?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Right? You know, why do you you know, why are
you dealing with it? And you're like, uh, that's the
it's my family member, Like, you know, how do you whatever?
Like I deal with it in splirts because it does
bother me, you know. Now that's just the way you know,
well it is you know, and well you need to
(23:44):
address it. And it's just like, well, again, that's my family,
and I know that everybody is not always ready to.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Deal with things, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
So you know, you can bring it up and share like, hey,
what you said was not whatever, And if they're not
ready to receive that, then you're just talking to the air, right,
you know what I mean. So they're not going to
make that change. They have to be able to see it,
appreciate what you're saying. Value it and then be able
(24:18):
to make some change and remember what you said, like
so that they don't do it again. Because I'm not
saying they're going to change it throughout everything, but maybe
change it just with you in that situation. They can
act you know, shady and crazy with everybody else, but
it's like, oh, I'm talking to this person and we
all have done it, you know what I mean? Like, Hey,
I can wild out in Miss Johnson class, but when
(24:40):
I get over to you know, mister Smith class, like
I know, like I can't you know, cheugum in his class,
but you know I can do whatever like in another class.
So yes, there's there's always situations that we pick up
you know, different habits and code switch again even as kids,
(25:00):
you know what I mean. So so I'm not saying
my family member couldn't have done that, but again understanding
everything else that goes on and everything else that's going
on in my life. So do I want to sit
and take that time to get into that space to
say something and then possibly have to pull out the
(25:23):
kleenex the violins come out?
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Woe is me? My life is over?
Speaker 2 (25:28):
You know what I mean? Because I done said you
know that I didn't like the way they hand, you know,
whatever the situation may have been.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
And sometimes it does get to that point.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
And I'm not saying it's it's right, wrong or indifferent.
I'm not saying anything. It doesn't doesn't make me feel
worse or not. But even with all of the violins
and all of the tissue, is the issue going to change?
And nine times out of tended in't.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And so sometimes, unfortunately I know it for myself. I
see that I'm like, all right, whatever.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Right, and then you have an F them, you know, right,
you know, you know.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Viewpoint of things, you know what I mean, and it's
in it and I can too at times like all right,
f it. And but then it's it's a difference between
it and f them, you know what I'm saying. So forget,
forget them, or forget you know it. So I don't
want people to think F meant something else right right right, right,
right right right, even as totally family focused, So you know,
(26:31):
forget them or forget the situation. And again with us
talking about relationships and talking about building them and being
more fruitful, like that ain't the way to go all
the time.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
It isn't. But there are times where you have to
get to that point, right, because some of that too
is protecting your sanity, protecting your peace.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
Became to get to twenty five years of marriage, right, I.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Mean, and because because in all honesty, there could have
been a lot more moments where it would have broken
us up towards apart because of that. And it goes
both ways, it does. But how do you sit down
and have that conversation? And again this is part of
that leadership. So instead of saying, well, kyp, what are
(27:25):
you gonna do about it? If she's already, if she's
already feeling some type of way, if she's already in
her feelings, and she could and because she doesn't express it,
to say, well, Maurice, I already see what the situation is.
And then I compound it, you know, or double it,
(27:45):
triple or whatever it is by saying, well, you know,
whatever is negative. Now, how does she walk away? And
now that we're older and the kids are not a
true factor like that, it'd be a lot easier to
walk away because it's like, all right, well we don't
have that respon possibility together, right, And we see that
and we hear that a lot, right, now where hey,
(28:05):
you know we only been together for the kids, well
for the longest time. Yeah, I felt that way, and
a lot of that was because of that's what the
priority was. We're living to pay bills for them, like
you know, we're living to make sure that they have
a better way of life. And then when they leave,
it's like, well what do we have? And that's where
(28:28):
we had to to have again, real conversations, real ideas,
real thoughts, whatever it is, like, Yo, what is our
future looking like? What is it going to be like
when they really are out the house? Like all the way,
they're not totally at the house right now, but they
are not totally out the house. But the reality is
(28:55):
is that, hey, why do we get together in the
first place? You know, why why do we like each other?
Do we still see that same person? Like Conver said
to me, She's like sometimes sometimes you can still see
the little boyish face, you know, every now and then,
just like the same way I can see about her.
(29:16):
And then there's moments where's, yeah, you do, you can,
But there are also moments where you be like you
can tell where life is taking a toll on us,
you know, where we can look our age most definitely,
(29:36):
if not older, sometimes I think I look older sometimes.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
For real, Let's go shopping on Tuesdays and see how
many discount you.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
So yeah, let's try that. Let's try that. So I
think that's one of the things that happens, you know,
as you start to look at the next twenty five
understanding what your place in this world, Understand what's your
place to yourself, Understand what your place is with your
(30:13):
spouse and or whoever you're with. However your relationship is
set up, because yes, we we're geared to those that
have been married, but also those that are have been
married in their mind, you know, their relationship, their situation,
whatever it might be. Because we understand sometimes people are
(30:34):
not committed to that piece of paper, you know, and
that's for some people, that's all it is, just a
piece of paper, you know. So now those that are
a little more religious understanding, hey, you made a commitment,
an obligation, an oath to you know, before God, you know,
(30:56):
being married in church, you know, all those type of things.
It all depends on how you worded, because everybody, again,
everybody looks at it differently, and part of that is
me learning that in my religion, classes school. So I'm
trying to also respect those because Kaup and I just
looked at our stats and literally, first of all, we
(31:19):
want to say thank y'all for listening.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
And really, to be honest, though this last two weeks
or so, literally over fifty five percent of y'all are
not even listening from the United States. So we understand
that there are some other cultures and communities that are
(31:46):
listening to us that don't practice necessarily what we practice
here in the United States. We understand it, and I
also want to respect that as well and acknowledge that,
you know, and so when we talk about these relationship things, hey, yes,
we come from a more generic ish space because we
(32:09):
understand who we have listening. So that but that does
not diminish who we are, you know, that doesn't diminish
that we've grown up in a in a Christian situations,
you know setting. You know, we've raised our children in
that space, and we continue to live that out and
every day. And I and I had just talked to
(32:31):
my neighbor actually the other day, and we were talking
about how people live or whatever, and how people have
to say, well, I'm a Christian or whatever it is,
and I'm like, I don't feel like I have to
walk around do that. I believe that the way I
walk and talk, the way I hold myself shows who
(32:52):
I am in everyday life, the way I deal with you,
the way I handle situations, and also understanding that you know,
the crisis in me is going to show. So I
think that's the difference as well. So I think that
as we talk about these next twenty five years of growing,
(33:13):
of maturing, of influencing and creating an environment of growth
and inspiration through all situations. Even if we can feel down,
we're still growing in those situations. If we're said, we
can still grow in those situations, you know, if we're happy,
(33:35):
we're growing in those situations, you know. So so those
are things that I would like to just kind of
talk about, Hey, for the next twenty five years, is
it going to be better? Oh? Hecky, Yeah it is
because we're more mature, where we're experiencing life in a
different manner.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
In in a or.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
Well as confidence said retired mindset, I think the retired
mindset of is just slowing down and enjoyed the ride.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I think for me, when I said retire, I meant
again the shift of the focus. As I said, it's
not like you stop working, you just shift and change
the work. So I think for me, the first twenty
five years, I'm going to put it very much, you
know how, like turn everything back into the name of
the show. So for me, the first twenty five years
(34:34):
was planting. We were planning our family, we were planning
our roots. We were discovering and digging deep into figuring
out who we were. Like I said, I didn't know
how to drive. I had to learn how to do
all those things. So for me, the next twenty five
years of our marriage is to be fruitful, to take
the fruit of what we've planted into. Like yo, yo,
(34:59):
we got a whole lot of fruit, and I want
to dish that fruit out. I'm going to share that
fruit with others. So you know, again, in retirement, do
people do that, you know, is that when they take
everything that they've gained, everything that they've harvested and that
they like, they start giving it out.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
You know, they have that time to do that.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
So now you know, I want to take I think
we take that time to do that, and I think
the show and all the things that we have and
you have spoke into into us and reference to where
this is going. You know, Hey, we would love to
come to your city and do a live show. Hey,
we would love to you know, teach courses on this
(35:39):
marriage thing and how we've done this, and there's so
many other things that you know, God has been planting
in our spirit and it will come to fruition and
it will become fruitful. So I think that's what the
past twenty five years was, which just you know, creating
that foundation, planning the seed we were harvesting. We were
(36:04):
you know, pruning things off because we had a whole
lot of stuff we had to get rid of. And
now we're fruitful and we're you know, blessed, and we
want to share those blessings with others.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
And but when I had said something about slowing down,
what I've seen, I mean, I'm not a farmer, so
I don't know, but as what I have seen are
people taking their time, slowing down and showing that these
(36:40):
fruits are going either ripe or not, you know. And
that's what I mean by slowing down, you know, and
enjoying the ride, because sometimes when you're and I look
at something like The Godfather, right for those of you
who look at the movie, you know, and he's walking
through his vineyard and taking the time to slow down
(37:02):
or look at the fruits of his labor, right, you know,
enjoying you know, the whatever Italian herbs they might have been,
you know, or whatever they might have been growing, whatever
it might have been. Sometimes you do have to fall
back and just observe what God has done in your life, yes,
you know, because everything can't be you know, fast paced
(37:22):
all the time. And that's been some of the challenge
in life has been. Hey, you know, we're always moving,
we're always grinding, We're always trying to get to another level,
and never take a step back to say God, thank you,
you know, take just take the time. Yes, you know.
(37:43):
So I don't I don't at all. I just want
to make sure y'all understand. I don't disagree with what
Copfa said at all. I just want to y'all to
understand why I said slow down, because I think that's
a part of what Coppo was saying, of slowing down
and enjoying that slowing down and looking at, you know,
(38:07):
how our children have matured, how they have grown, taking
the time and slowed down to say, hey, you know what,
you know, everyone is not going to be here forever.
Can we really enjoyed the moment and not talk about
nonsensical stuff, but let's talk about the real stuff and
be able to grow from that, you know. And so
(38:31):
somebody say, hey, Maurice, you know you're always busy, like
you're always a busy Well, if you understood really what
I was doing the time to understand that, then you
would know that, Hey, you know, I have a community
that we're constantly talking to, that we're constantly you know,
growing from as well.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
So I don't have time to sit down and party
with you. I don't because of all of you that's
out there that are you know, so on to see
back in. I'm about growth, I'm about maturing. That doesn't
mean I can't laugh and joke and you know, have
(39:15):
a good time. But there are some things I just
don't bang with because my life is changed, you know.
So and sometimes people don't understand that. They don't they
don't understand what that really looks like and what that
feels like because they haven't done it themselves. So those again,
(39:35):
those are just some of the things for myself that
you know, as we're looking forward to reach in our
dreams and our goals as a couple, our dreams as
a goal and goals as individuals. How to bring all
those together? And are we actually able to now as
(39:55):
confidence as to reap the benefits? Are we able to
see what the harvest really is bringing in? And how
mean of you all out there? I mean, because our
numbers keep growing now that we have moments where it
dips and then it comes back like anybody you know,
any anything else you know, But we see how we're
(40:16):
constantly growing with each and every one of you. And
that's why I said, we thank you. We just want
to make sure that you know the next twenty five years.
I don't know if we'll be on radio for twenty
five next twenty five years. But here's the thing, though,
this is one of those type of jobs that we
could do forever. Yes, it's not. It's not a situation
(40:36):
where hey, you know what we gotta do and we
got to switch up or whatever. No, there's people that
be on the radio forever. So because it's just your voice. Now,
if you ask us to be fitness grows or something
else like, No, that might change, you know, but but
(40:57):
something like this, sharing information and talking intelligently, whatever it
might be, you know, this is something that doesn't have
to stop. So so could we be on here for
twenty another twenty five years? I mean we've been here before.
Let's say, can we just be on here for twenty
five years? We've been on here for seven already, so,
(41:17):
you know, and this is one of those moments where
they say in marriage, like people get kind of antsy
and want to do something else.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Seven year itch, Yeah, well.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Yeah, the seven year itges the growest beyond where it
is right now, you know, so we need your help,
Yes we do, Yes, we do. So continue to support
us in our dreams and goals as a couple. And
like she answerscribed, why do you looking at me like that?
I know it's not YouTube, but but I thank you
(41:54):
very much for listening today.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Thank you so so much for joining us and being
with us today.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
We don't take it lightly. Enjoy your company most definitely.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Now I think I want some apple pie. I don't
know why I got taste for apple pie.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Okay, are you gonna make it?
Speaker 1 (42:14):
I'll see y'll later.
Speaker 4 (42:16):
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of a No
Fruit podcast, where we bring you fruitful conversations, ripen wisdom
and love that's deeply rooted. If you enjoyed this episode,
don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share
it with someone who could use a little inspiration in
their death. Until next time, stay rooted in love and
remember every seed you plant today shapes the fruit of tomorrow.
Looking ahead, what's next for us in the next twenty
five years. We'll talk about it right after this.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Let's talk about love and monment. The Man of God
intend life experience to be show.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
From time hope transforms. Hey, y'all, what's going on?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Hey? Family?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
So is your well known? We just celebrated twenty five
years of marriage and so uh and so we.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Are looking briefest applause.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
And sometimes uh, you know, we as a couple, we
try to look ahead, but because of things have been
so interesting being married, even if you try to look ahead,
you get kind of stuck because you're dealing with what's
(01:18):
going on today. And I'm saying that because one of
the things or some of the things that we've been
dealing with. I mean, if if, if you can just
take a day in our life, you know, from my
great aunt being sick, my mom being sick, my brother
(01:40):
being sick, Coffer's mind being sick. I mean, everyone has
literally that stuff. For my mom. My mom didn't touch
the hospital, but those three touched the hospital one way
or another.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Has been sick.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah, but my mom has been sick. Coffer, You've been sick,
you know, not feeling the.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Greatest feeling well. I don't want to say I'm sick.
I don't I don't want to go that route. I'm
not feeling my best sick in love?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
No, what's it called?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
What?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
No? I'm sorry, I'll scratch that, but it's something along
those lines. But the reality is is that because all
these things have been challenging to deal with. You know,
it's some mental ups and down, some emotional ups and
(02:32):
downs and whatever. But because of some of those things,
you get stuck and you don't know how to move
forward because you're so stuck in today, and sometimes you're like, hey,
can I just get past today?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I don't know that we can't, you know, figure out
how to get pasted today, or you're not thinking about tomorrow.
It's just so much that goes on in the one
day that you don't have time. You don't have that respite,
you don't have that moment to do any planning. You know,
about what to wear tomorrow, what's going to be for
(03:06):
dinner tomorrow, you know those types of things, because so
much has been pressed upon you for that right now,
that here and now, like as soon as you hang
up the phone, you know, Maurice, you've had those days.
Soon as you hang up the phone, then the next
person is calling with their issue or their concern or
just sharing what they've been going through right in a
(03:30):
negative way throughout the day. So they're not even calling
just to kind of give you a praise report.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
They're calling like yeah, dude, like what's up, and you're like, well, what's.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Wrong with you?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
And then it just opens up the floodgates and they
just begin to spill their guts and it, you know,
makes it difficult that way, right.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
You know, And so I think what's been challenging in
that has been too all right, CoFe, Yes, let's sit
down and let's think about what because we haven't reached
this benchmark, what is the next benchmark we were like
to reach? You know, what is that we want to do?
(04:13):
Because the first twenty five years of our marriage, yeah,
it has been a very very interesting one, you know,
and you know, between raising kids and if you've been
following us for a long time, you you would have
heard some of the challenges that we've talked about, repos bankruptcies, moving,
(04:35):
whatever it might be, you know, so you know, changing jobs,
not working long, you know, whatever it might have been.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
And that's even without having kids. Like, so people go
through that right in general not being married, Like you
can go through that just period, but to go through
it with a partner makes it even I don't want
to say it easier or more challenging, It just it.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
You know, it's just adds to it, does you know.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
And because now you're also trying to bring together to
families and you know, and Kyp and I talked about
this how in some cases when we listen to other
people that are married where their in laws are truly
just in laws and sometimes just having a basic conversation
(05:27):
can be hard where I don't have. I don't think
we have that experience, not like other people when they
talk about their in laws.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Right, but we're also not like some people were like, oh,
my mother in law's my best friend and we go
hang out and yeah, gets done together.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
We're not there either, So and that's all well and fine,
I think for me.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
When you're going as newlyweds and even dealing with your
first twenty five years of marriage, like you said, until
if you have kids right away like we did, so
those first twenty five so then your kids are twenty
four and twenty you know, very close to very close
to you know, your anniversary.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
So yeah, life does change.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
But I do know people who, hey, they didn't start
having kids until they've been married ten years, right, So
with twenty five years of marriage, they still got a
fifteen year old, you know, so that may look a
lot differently.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
So when they're play book, some of them might have
a fifteen month old, right, so.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
They're planning, excuse me, may look a lot differently for
the next twenty five years, going into their fiftieth anniversary.
So but I think for Maurice and I, you know,
the first twenty five years, yes, it was certainly planning
a family, planning a home and making a house into
a home, trying to be financially sound with our finances
(06:51):
and our cars, and building some of those things, because
again I think where we, you know, got married, we
had one car, and we did have a house and
those things, but we were trying to build those I
didn't have a car. I didn't even have a license
when we got married, so some people may laugh at that,
but I didn't. I didn't know.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I didn't have a license to drive.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
So some of those first twenty five years was growing
myself and making myself better in those regards. So for me,
the next twenty five years is looking at how to retire.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
With my husband.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
You know what does that look like? And again I'm
not saying retire like in a hey we're stopping to
work type of a thing, but just slowing because that's
just a normal thing people say retires. So I think
things will shift. Just recently reading a book or listening
(07:53):
to a book and they were saying, you know how
certain ethnic groups or faiths don't believe in retirement. Right,
you just keep working like you don't stop working, like
you put You were put here on earth to work
to serve, so you continue to do that.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I think I think that's the key right there. What
you're saying is that when you think of work, what
is the idea of work?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Right? And a lot of times we're fed is nine
to five. You know, you work for an employer, but
there's so many things more through that when you really
think about it. On what all you do throughout the week,
throughout the day, whether you're serving on a community organization,
school board, something with your church, you know, whatever it
(08:42):
may be, Like you put in a lot of hours
and you know that's your volunteer and that you serving.
So they're just saying like, hey, even whatever your vocation
may have been, if you are a doctor, like you
can can all right, well you don't have to be
a doctor at the hospital or at the doctor's office.
You can now provide that education somewhere else, that information
(09:04):
somewhere else, and be an advocate for something. You can
be an advisor somewhere. So again, what I'm getting it
too is kind of like what we're doing right now
on this podcast, my recent I are advocating marriage. We
are advising you on how you know to stay married
(09:25):
from just going through our.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Own trials and tribute, yes, our own ups and.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Downs, our own you know, just life. So I would
certainly say that that's what we're looking to do the
next twenty five years is to continue to grow what
you have right here, what we're offering now, that's what
I would say our goal and our focus is for
the next twenty.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Five and see, go ahead. No, I was gonna say,
just to be a little more specific, Yes, you know,
we will love for this podcast to reach way more people.
We would love that, we would love for our business,
Chistom Group LLC, to grow and to touch more businesses
(10:15):
across the world of how to encourage your employees and
how to keep them and maintain them whatever it might be.
You know, we would love for people to find their voice,
you know, in podcasting to say hey, you know what,
I do have a message, And I just use podcasts
(10:35):
as an example, but it could be anywhere to say, hey,
you know what, I am valuable no matter where I am.
And sometimes we lose our voice in some certain spaces
and places because we weren't taught to stay committed one
to ourselves. We weren't always taught to be encouraged, you know.
(10:56):
So I think or to stay encouraged and to be
a duple killed someone else. And a lot of times
we see that in marketing and you know, advertising, whatever
it might be. You know. So, I think that the
next twenty five years for me would be to ensure
that each and every one of you feeling power individually,
(11:20):
but in addition to that, feeling powered together and not
just you and your spouse. And I e. When I
started talking about the in law part, how do you
also incorporate that family bond, you know, across the board
because we see how important families are. You know, to
(11:45):
the growth and the maturation of everybody, because even though
you ninety years old, you're still growing. Now. You might
not be growing taller, right, you might be growing downward,
you know, but but you're still growing because you're still learning.
You're still here. And one of the things I had
(12:07):
learned in one of my classes at Temple University where
we learned about different cultures and just how the respect,
especially in Asian cultures, the respect between elders and I
(12:28):
don't know how to say youngins, I guess, but but yeah,
you know, but there is a level of respect and
a level of responsibility both ways, you know. So it's
not about hey, you know what, I need you to
go and because you're my kid or my grandkid or
(12:48):
whatever else, you need to run to the store and
do whatever it is. No, there has to be a
level of respect the other way too, you know. So
if there's something else going on, I believe the thought
was the elders have to have a level of protection.
There's a duty of protection and something else to those
that are younger, you know. And so so there is
(13:12):
a mutual level of respect and responsibility both ways, you know.
So you can't just sit back and say hey, well,
I'm an elder. You just need to do whatever. I say. No,
you have a responsibility. And that's something that we don't
always talk about and respond to very well whatever, because
(13:33):
you know, people say, hey, well I've done my work,
just wait till you get to my age. Well, you know,
one tell us how you got to that age, you know,
because a lot of times people don't talk and they
don't speak about some of their trials and tribulations, some
of their ups and downs. And then you know, and
then when the situation comes up, now you expect for
(13:55):
someone to say, you know, some of the elders say, well,
don't do this. Well, I'm in a situation from an
emotional perspective. This is how I feel in my logical
perspective at that moment. This is how I'm going to
go about it. Well, I told you don't do well.
(14:17):
No that Sometimes that's not good enough. Maybe you should
have talked about or given an idea about that situation
prior to now. Sometimes situationally you can't talk about it,
but if you can share it one way or another.
You know, I understand that we laugh and joke and
talk about family members and family opportunities and situations where
(14:40):
everybody's laughing and joking, but we don't have those moments
where we talk about stuff that's a little more serious.
So that's one of the things that I have learned
recently when talking to my two children, of giving more
information to them that way, when it's time to handle something,
(15:03):
they're like, all right, Dad, I see where you're coming from. Oh.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I think that's one thing that they said, even when
they were youngsters, when they had transitioned from middle school
to high school, you sat them down, You're like, look,
high school different, y'all right, you know you're going to
you should expect these things, and this is you know,
could happen when I was in high school. This happened,
and so forth and so on. And I do remember
our daughter saying like, Dad.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
You know what the stuff you said, it happened. You know,
you know it happened.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
You know. So I think just being open and honest
and upfront with them laying that foundation. I think your
brother is even saying it now. It's like he's saying, like,
my kids as adults, they're grown. I don't have to
talk to them like they're kids anymore, right, you know,
for him, his kids have kids right around all of them.
(15:55):
But you know, you know, so certainly not sugar coating information,
you know, just being open and honest because in reality,
that's how they handle things on a day to day basis.
Nobody's looking at them and talking, not saying no one,
but in their work environment and in their day to
(16:16):
day they're being looked at as adults, right. You know,
you know, I think someone said to my son recently
they thought he was like thirty years old.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Yeah, I think that, you know, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
So because it was his birthday and for where they were,
for where he works, they were saying happy birthday, and
you know, they thought he was thirty. Well, the challenge
with that is is that he doesn't understand how he
acts and responds and how he speaks can be viewed
(16:51):
as someone is a little older, a little more mature.
It can be because of Yeah, it's just he just
comes up a little older.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
But that's no different than that he doesn't talk in
a lot of slang. He's not, doesn't, you know, behave
and dressed and whatever like somebody.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Who is his age were younger.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
But here's the reality though, that's no different than what
you thought.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Right, that's about to say, like, you know, you did
not dress or talk like those who are of your age.
Speaker 4 (17:25):
Right.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
So yeah, So for those of you that know again
that knows the story. You know, Confa is older than me.
Now when I say is older, like, she's not like
twenty years older, you know, she's she's.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
It wasn't like I was older than you, right.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
You know, but she's a couple, you know, two two
and a half closer to three. But you know, we'll
leave it that way. But when she she stated to
me she thought I was older than her because of
how I spoke, how I carried my so you know
what I was doing at that time when she met me.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
You know.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
So sometimes people that are in you know, a certain
age bracket aren't speaking in front of groups of people
and keeping their attention and all those types of things
because people are not always respecting them in that space. Well,
I didn't have that, you know, and even till today,
in all honesty, especially since I was a church situation.
(18:27):
What happens today is that some of those same people, see,
they get me mixed up with my brother. You know,
they keep saying, Maurice, you know whatever, and he has
to say no, I'm not I'm Michael, not Maurice because
of the uh. Some people I think it's just laziness
(18:47):
on one hand, but then there's others that genuinely like, hey,
you know, Maurice had left such an impact on a situation.
I mean, I've had that in multiple places I've been,
you know, so you know. So I think those are
the type of things where you understand, one, what's your voice?
(19:07):
As I just mentioned earlier, you know your impact, you know,
and so how do you ensure that that impact is
not just felt on the outside, but it's felt on
the inside, you know, And so as you keep moving
forward in your relationship to make sure that I mean,
and I think about some of my family members where
(19:28):
they want to be the leader, right, but it's like,
you understand you really don't have leadership qualities, right, You
understand that you really don't have that charisma to talk
to any and everybody. People are sometimes can be amazed
at how I know most of the people, right, but
in the family, not just in this state, but you know,
(19:50):
across the United States, I know most or I know
of most or about most, and people are like, well,
how do you know them? And there's then the other. Well, one,
I'm making my business and number two I am closer
to or I listen to some of the elders when
they talk about the family stuff, and I committed to memory,
(20:16):
not on purpose necessarily, but it just sticks, you know.
And so and then I'm kind of glad because when
Kapp and I started dating, I'm like, are we related?
Speaker 4 (20:29):
You know?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
You know, But it's just those things. Hey, you know,
if you really want to be the leader, you want
to put forth a better output when it comes to family.
People talk about generational wealth, whatever it is. You got
to be able to speak. You have to be able
to hold yourself up in a true leadership position and
(20:55):
understand what that means, what comes with leadership, responsibility, character, values, morals,
whatever it might be. And so those are things I
know for myself, I would like to really exhibit more
in the next twenty five years because we're transitioning into
right now, we're in that sandwich position. We're in that sandwich,
(21:16):
you know, space where we're not the elders, we're not
the kids, we're really sandwich and we're worried about it.
A little bit of everybody right now, which takes away
again some of our moments of growth as a couple
because it kind of pulls us apart. And so and recently,
(21:36):
Kauf and I had this conversation where we're like, and
I will be honest, I haven't always been the nicest
in our conversations. I haven't been you know, And and
or because the way I pointed things out, Coppa would
take things negatively, and that's.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Me as a fault with my own inner head space.
You know, I take things very personal, personal and to heart,
and I beat myself up internally.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
A lot of times.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
I'm either beating myself up and taking that conversation and
replaying it in my head and beating myself up over
it or whatever caused that conversation to happen, and like, oh,
you idiot, you shouldn't have said this or shouldn't have
done that. Or I'm like, oh, forget about it, and
I just move on. Those are my two.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
But I'm saying that because Kafa had a conversation with
a family member and she noticed how things that I
might have mentioned in the past. She's like, wow, Maurice's like,
I could kind of really see where you're coming from
because in our reality, Maurice, that's what irks me, you know,
(23:02):
And I'm like, yeah, so how does that make you
look and feel moving forward?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
You know?
Speaker 1 (23:08):
How do you build upond that? You know? But I
also understand that if she would have said that in past,
I might have been like, well I told you so
I didn't come off that.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Way, or you would have been like, what are you
gonna do about it?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Right? You know, why do you you know, why are
you dealing with it? And you're like, uh, that's the
it's my family member, Like, you know, how do you whatever?
Like I deal with it in splirts because it does
bother me, you know. Now that's just the way you know,
well it is you know, and well you need to
(23:44):
address it. And it's just like, well, again, that's my family,
and I know that everybody is not always ready to.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Deal with things, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
So you know, you can bring it up and share like, hey,
what you said was not whatever, And if they're not
ready to receive that, then you're just talking to the air, right,
you know what I mean. So they're not going to
make that change. They have to be able to see it,
appreciate what you're saying. Value it and then be able
(24:18):
to make some change and remember what you said, like
so that they don't do it again. Because I'm not
saying they're going to change it throughout everything, but maybe
change it just with you in that situation. They can
act you know, shady and crazy with everybody else, but
it's like, oh, I'm talking to this person and we
all have done it, you know what I mean? Like, Hey,
I can wild out in Miss Johnson class, but when
(24:40):
I get over to you know, mister Smith class, like
I know, like I can't you know, cheugum in his class,
but you know I can do whatever like in another class.
So yes, there's there's always situations that we pick up
you know, different habits and code switch again even as kids,
(25:00):
you know what I mean. So so I'm not saying
my family member couldn't have done that, but again understanding
everything else that goes on and everything else that's going
on in my life. So do I want to sit
and take that time to get into that space to
say something and then possibly have to pull out the
(25:23):
kleenex the violins come out?
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Woe is me? My life is over?
Speaker 2 (25:28):
You know what I mean? Because I done said you
know that I didn't like the way they hand, you know,
whatever the situation may have been.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
And sometimes it does get to that point.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
And I'm not saying it's it's right, wrong or indifferent.
I'm not saying anything. It doesn't doesn't make me feel
worse or not. But even with all of the violins
and all of the tissue, is the issue going to change?
And nine times out of tended in't.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And so sometimes, unfortunately I know it for myself. I
see that I'm like, all right, whatever.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Right, and then you have an F them, you know, right,
you know, you know.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Viewpoint of things, you know what I mean, and it's
in it and I can too at times like all right,
f it. And but then it's it's a difference between
it and f them, you know what I'm saying. So forget,
forget them, or forget you know it. So I don't
want people to think F meant something else right right right, right,
right right right, even as totally family focused, So you know,
(26:31):
forget them or forget the situation. And again with us
talking about relationships and talking about building them and being
more fruitful, like that ain't the way to go all
the time.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
It isn't. But there are times where you have to
get to that point, right, because some of that too
is protecting your sanity, protecting your peace.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
Became to get to twenty five years of marriage, right, I.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Mean, and because because in all honesty, there could have
been a lot more moments where it would have broken
us up towards apart because of that. And it goes
both ways, it does. But how do you sit down
and have that conversation? And again this is part of
that leadership. So instead of saying, well, kyp, what are
(27:25):
you gonna do about it? If she's already, if she's
already feeling some type of way, if she's already in
her feelings, and she could and because she doesn't express it,
to say, well, Maurice, I already see what the situation is.
And then I compound it, you know, or double it,
(27:45):
triple or whatever it is by saying, well, you know,
whatever is negative. Now, how does she walk away? And
now that we're older and the kids are not a
true factor like that, it'd be a lot easier to
walk away because it's like, all right, well we don't
have that respon possibility together, right, And we see that
and we hear that a lot, right, now where hey,
(28:05):
you know we only been together for the kids, well
for the longest time. Yeah, I felt that way, and
a lot of that was because of that's what the
priority was. We're living to pay bills for them, like
you know, we're living to make sure that they have
a better way of life. And then when they leave,
it's like, well what do we have? And that's where
(28:28):
we had to to have again, real conversations, real ideas,
real thoughts, whatever it is, like, Yo, what is our
future looking like? What is it going to be like
when they really are out the house? Like all the way,
they're not totally at the house right now, but they
are not totally out the house. But the reality is
(28:55):
is that, hey, why do we get together in the
first place? You know, why why do we like each other?
Do we still see that same person? Like Conver said
to me, She's like sometimes sometimes you can still see
the little boyish face, you know, every now and then,
just like the same way I can see about her.
(29:16):
And then there's moments where's, yeah, you do, you can,
But there are also moments where you be like you
can tell where life is taking a toll on us,
you know, where we can look our age most definitely,
(29:36):
if not older, sometimes I think I look older sometimes.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
For real, Let's go shopping on Tuesdays and see how
many discount you.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
So yeah, let's try that. Let's try that. So I
think that's one of the things that happens, you know,
as you start to look at the next twenty five
understanding what your place in this world, Understand what's your
place to yourself, Understand what your place is with your
(30:13):
spouse and or whoever you're with. However your relationship is
set up, because yes, we we're geared to those that
have been married, but also those that are have been
married in their mind, you know, their relationship, their situation,
whatever it might be. Because we understand sometimes people are
(30:34):
not committed to that piece of paper, you know, and
that's for some people, that's all it is, just a
piece of paper, you know. So now those that are
a little more religious understanding, hey, you made a commitment,
an obligation, an oath to you know, before God, you know,
(30:56):
being married in church, you know, all those type of things.
It all depends on how you worded, because everybody, again,
everybody looks at it differently, and part of that is
me learning that in my religion, classes school. So I'm
trying to also respect those because Kaup and I just
looked at our stats and literally, first of all, we
(31:19):
want to say thank y'all for listening.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
And really, to be honest, though this last two weeks
or so, literally over fifty five percent of y'all are
not even listening from the United States. So we understand
that there are some other cultures and communities that are
(31:46):
listening to us that don't practice necessarily what we practice
here in the United States. We understand it, and I
also want to respect that as well and acknowledge that,
you know, and so when we talk about these relationship things, hey, yes,
we come from a more generic ish space because we
(32:09):
understand who we have listening. So that but that does
not diminish who we are, you know, that doesn't diminish
that we've grown up in a in a Christian situations,
you know setting. You know, we've raised our children in
that space, and we continue to live that out and
every day. And I and I had just talked to
(32:31):
my neighbor actually the other day, and we were talking
about how people live or whatever, and how people have
to say, well, I'm a Christian or whatever it is,
and I'm like, I don't feel like I have to
walk around do that. I believe that the way I
walk and talk, the way I hold myself shows who
(32:52):
I am in everyday life, the way I deal with you,
the way I handle situations, and also understanding that you know,
the crisis in me is going to show. So I
think that's the difference as well. So I think that
as we talk about these next twenty five years of growing,
(33:13):
of maturing, of influencing and creating an environment of growth
and inspiration through all situations. Even if we can feel down,
we're still growing in those situations. If we're said, we
can still grow in those situations, you know, if we're happy,
(33:35):
we're growing in those situations, you know. So so those
are things that I would like to just kind of
talk about, Hey, for the next twenty five years, is
it going to be better? Oh? Hecky, Yeah it is
because we're more mature, where we're experiencing life in a
different manner.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
In in a or.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
Well as confidence said retired mindset, I think the retired
mindset of is just slowing down and enjoyed the ride.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I think for me, when I said retire, I meant
again the shift of the focus. As I said, it's
not like you stop working, you just shift and change
the work. So I think for me, the first twenty
five years, I'm going to put it very much, you
know how, like turn everything back into the name of
the show. So for me, the first twenty five years
(34:34):
was planting. We were planning our family, we were planning
our roots. We were discovering and digging deep into figuring
out who we were. Like I said, I didn't know
how to drive. I had to learn how to do
all those things. So for me, the next twenty five
years of our marriage is to be fruitful, to take
the fruit of what we've planted into. Like yo, yo,
(34:59):
we got a whole lot of fruit, and I want
to dish that fruit out. I'm going to share that
fruit with others. So you know, again, in retirement, do
people do that, you know, is that when they take
everything that they've gained, everything that they've harvested and that
they like, they start giving it out.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
You know, they have that time to do that.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
So now you know, I want to take I think
we take that time to do that, and I think
the show and all the things that we have and
you have spoke into into us and reference to where
this is going. You know, Hey, we would love to
come to your city and do a live show. Hey,
we would love to you know, teach courses on this
(35:39):
marriage thing and how we've done this, and there's so
many other things that you know, God has been planting
in our spirit and it will come to fruition and
it will become fruitful. So I think that's what the
past twenty five years was, which just you know, creating
that foundation, planning the seed we were harvesting. We were
(36:04):
you know, pruning things off because we had a whole
lot of stuff we had to get rid of. And
now we're fruitful and we're you know, blessed, and we
want to share those blessings with others.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
And but when I had said something about slowing down,
what I've seen, I mean, I'm not a farmer, so
I don't know, but as what I have seen are
people taking their time, slowing down and showing that these
(36:40):
fruits are going either ripe or not, you know. And
that's what I mean by slowing down, you know, and
enjoying the ride, because sometimes when you're and I look
at something like The Godfather, right for those of you
who look at the movie, you know, and he's walking
through his vineyard and taking the time to slow down
(37:02):
or look at the fruits of his labor, right, you know,
enjoying you know, the whatever Italian herbs they might have been,
you know, or whatever they might have been growing, whatever
it might have been. Sometimes you do have to fall
back and just observe what God has done in your life, yes,
you know, because everything can't be you know, fast paced
(37:22):
all the time. And that's been some of the challenge
in life has been. Hey, you know, we're always moving,
we're always grinding, We're always trying to get to another level,
and never take a step back to say God, thank you,
you know, take just take the time. Yes, you know.
(37:43):
So I don't I don't at all. I just want
to make sure y'all understand. I don't disagree with what
Copfa said at all. I just want to y'all to
understand why I said slow down, because I think that's
a part of what Coppo was saying, of slowing down
and enjoying that slowing down and looking at, you know,
(38:07):
how our children have matured, how they have grown, taking
the time and slowed down to say, hey, you know what,
you know, everyone is not going to be here forever.
Can we really enjoyed the moment and not talk about
nonsensical stuff, but let's talk about the real stuff and
be able to grow from that, you know. And so
(38:31):
somebody say, hey, Maurice, you know you're always busy, like
you're always a busy Well, if you understood really what
I was doing the time to understand that, then you
would know that, Hey, you know, I have a community
that we're constantly talking to, that we're constantly you know,
growing from as well.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
So I don't have time to sit down and party
with you. I don't because of all of you that's
out there that are you know, so on to see
back in. I'm about growth, I'm about maturing. That doesn't
mean I can't laugh and joke and you know, have
(39:15):
a good time. But there are some things I just
don't bang with because my life is changed, you know.
So and sometimes people don't understand that. They don't they
don't understand what that really looks like and what that
feels like because they haven't done it themselves. So those again,
(39:35):
those are just some of the things for myself that
you know, as we're looking forward to reach in our
dreams and our goals as a couple, our dreams as
a goal and goals as individuals. How to bring all
those together? And are we actually able to now as
(39:55):
confidence as to reap the benefits? Are we able to
see what the harvest really is bringing in? And how
mean of you all out there? I mean, because our
numbers keep growing now that we have moments where it
dips and then it comes back like anybody you know,
any anything else you know, But we see how we're
(40:16):
constantly growing with each and every one of you. And
that's why I said, we thank you. We just want
to make sure that you know the next twenty five years.
I don't know if we'll be on radio for twenty
five next twenty five years. But here's the thing, though,
this is one of those type of jobs that we
could do forever. Yes, it's not. It's not a situation
(40:36):
where hey, you know what we gotta do and we
got to switch up or whatever. No, there's people that
be on the radio forever. So because it's just your voice. Now,
if you ask us to be fitness grows or something
else like, No, that might change, you know, but but
(40:57):
something like this, sharing information and talking intelligently, whatever it
might be, you know, this is something that doesn't have
to stop. So so could we be on here for
twenty another twenty five years? I mean we've been here before.
Let's say, can we just be on here for twenty
five years? We've been on here for seven already, so,
(41:17):
you know, and this is one of those moments where
they say in marriage, like people get kind of antsy
and want to do something else.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
Seven year itch, Yeah, well.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Yeah, the seven year itges the growest beyond where it
is right now, you know, so we need your help,
Yes we do, Yes, we do. So continue to support
us in our dreams and goals as a couple. And
like she answerscribed, why do you looking at me like that?
I know it's not YouTube, but but I thank you
(41:54):
very much for listening today.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Thank you so so much for joining us and being
with us today.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
We don't take it lightly. Enjoy your company most definitely.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Now I think I want some apple pie. I don't
know why I got taste for apple pie.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Okay, are you gonna make it?
Speaker 1 (42:14):
I'll see y'll later.
Speaker 4 (42:16):
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of a No
Fruit podcast, where we bring you fruitful conversations, ripen wisdom
and love that's deeply rooted. If you enjoyed this episode,
don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share
it with someone who could use a little inspiration in
their death. Until next time, stay rooted in love and
remember every seed you plant today shapes the fruit of tomorrow.
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