September 30, 2025 • 52 mins
. Maurice and Kafi discuss the realities of being in the sandwich generation, offering advice on managing family responsibilities. They open up about the joys and challenges.
Top 3 Highlights:
Connect with Maurice and Kafi
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Connect with Maurice and Kafi
Top 3 Highlights:
- The Challenges: Balancing care for aging parents and adult children creates unique stress.
- Generational Differences: Understanding varied perspectives can ease conflicts.
- Self-Care: Prioritizing personal well-being is key to managing demands.
Connect with Maurice and Kafi
- Be a guest by joining PodMatch: https://bit.ly/joinpodmatchnofruitpodcast
- Business Email: mchism@chismgroup.net
- Business Address: PO Box 460, Secane, PA 19018
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- Facebook: https://facebook.com/nofruitpodcast
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@nofruitpodcast
Support the Podcast
- Purchase our apparel https://bit.ly/nofruitpodcastapparel
- Purchase “Well Why Not Workbook”: https://accelerateyourimpact.co/
- Register for a course: https://accelerateyourimpact.co/
- Get FREE digital books: https://accelerateyourimpact.co/
Connect with Maurice and Kafi
- Be a guest by joining PodMatch: https://bit.ly/joinpodmatchnofruitpodcast
- Business Email: mchism@chismgroup.net
- Business Address: PO Box 460, Secane, PA 19018
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/nofruitpodcast
- Facebook: https://facebook.com/nofruitpodcast
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@nofruitpodcast
- Purchase our apparel https://bit.ly/nofruitpodcastapparel
- Purchase “Well Why Not Workbook”: https://accelerateyourimpact.co/
- Register for a course: https://accelerateyourimpact.co/
- Get FREE digital books: https://accelerateyourimpact.co/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Being stuck in the Sandwich generation is tough, but there's
hope for those in the middle. We'll talk more about
it after this.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Let's talk about love and live the way of God
in send Life Experience to show help you switch tressform.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Hello, Hello, Hello, and Welcome to the Middle. Welcome to
the Middle. We're here another episode of the No Fruit podcast,
and Marisa and I are going to talk to you
a little bit about being part of this Sandwich generation
and dealing with our parents and our young adult children,
(00:57):
how to manage all of those things and what it's like,
or what it's been like, at least for us trying
to manage it all with doctor's appointments, and I find
ourselves kind of talking to our parents almost the same
way we're talking to our kids. Make sure you eat,
make sure you do these things. So we're gona talk
a little bit about that and what that's been like
(01:21):
for us and how we've been trying to handle it
and manage it. And then if you have tips and
tricks for us, we hope that you would share those
with us in the comments, because it's tough being here
in this Sandwich generation. I think a lot of us
are dealing with it as the that baby boomer generation
(01:44):
is getting older and we as well. I guess I'm
a gen xer and having to manage my parents and
all the things that she's going through. And sometimes it
(02:06):
gets tough because I now have to take the phone
calls of hey, you know, or of what's going on
in her life, where I didn't have to do that
ten years ago. So I'm following up with her, Hey
did you take your medication? Hey did you go to
the doctor? Did you follow up with this person? How
are you feeling today? I'm getting the phone calls of
(02:28):
that she's not feeling well, just like I did when
my kids were little, of the nurse calling saying, hey,
your kid don't feel good, you know, please come and
pick them up. Now I'm getting the calls to pick
up my mother because she doesn't feel well. So it's
just been a challenge to kind of get into all
(02:49):
of those things. And it's just been tough and I'm
losing my voice.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I mean, so do you need some help over there?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I think, and I think it might be okay, it'll
come back, but it's just been challenging. It's been rough, I.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Mean, and so so what Confla just went through. In
my opinion, it's a pure example of what it's been
like looking at you know, looking at the parents, because
at times you hear they'll come out strong and then
you start to see where things are starting to change
(03:29):
in mid stride, if you will, Just like Coppa just
did you know, losing her voice and you know, can't
clear her throat. Whatever it might have been, it was,
you know, and so and that wasn't even playing like
and conference over here waving me on to kind of
you know, already take it over, take it over. But
(03:51):
it's like I'm looking at him like, well, no, that's
part of the show, like you know, you know, And
so I think what happens is that unfortunately, as we
as confiscated, you know, being in the Sandwich space, we're
(04:12):
trying to be as understanding and.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
On top of the you know, all the above. The
challenge with that is is that.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Our goals and dreams, and I'm gonna speak personally for myself,
my my dreams and my goals and aspirations, all those
types of things are not the same.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
As those that are before us.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
And so.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
The expectation for me to be right there is not
the same because I don't have the typical no to
five And because of that, the it's hard to gauge, hey,
(05:10):
is Maurice available or is he not? You know, so
because those are people that are in the whole entrepreneurship.
Guess what, there there is no no time off.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Now.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
That's also the difference between working in your business and
on your business as well. And y'all can hear about
that from that Wildever Work podcast of course by you
know yours truly and we talk about those type of things.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
But even if you're you're working on your business, it
still doesn't stop.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
And so.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Because you're looking to continue to grow and touch more
people and become innovative and all those type of things.
So a lot of times in this space, for myself,
it's challenging because you want to be there. And the
other part is like, ah, you know, like I'm really
(06:05):
trying to set something up for the generation after us
or generations after us, where I don't believe our parents cared.
I don't. Now that doesn't mean that that's not true, right,
I think they do care, but I think overall, like
(06:26):
they didn't care to think about generations after generations after generations,
like I'm considering, you know, whereas like, hey, you know,
my offspring is okay, I guess you know, they're responsible
for their offspring, you know whatever, like you know, and
(06:46):
I know that sounds kind of crazy. It's just the
way they It's just the way they.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Maneuvered for me, right, I think.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
And we've talked about this on the show before when
we talked about generations and where our grandparents parents. Both
of our grandparents owned a home, so they had that foundation.
They had that thought, whether that was thinking about future
(07:12):
generations or whatever, like maybe because you know, of whatever
their upbringing was, they had in their mind somehow, some
way that or maybe there was a discount, like everybody's
going around just giving out houses and said, hey, you know,
buy a home. And they bought homes. But you know,
(07:34):
both of our parents did not buy homes, you know
what I mean, whether they rented or things like that,
lived with the family member. Yeah, so, like you said,
they were thinking more so about the here and now,
thinking about a little bit of themselves. But with that,
(07:57):
what scientists I've heard, you know, news or whatever else
that they also wanted better for their kids. So that's
why we had you know, we didn't have we had
more of name brand clothes here and there. We may
(08:17):
have gone on a vacation, like I don't hear very
much like our parents say, oh yeah, we went on
a family vacation, or we went on a family getaway
necessarily other than maybe a family reunion type thing. I
know your family kind of went down to visit their siblings,
your grandparents' siblings, but it wasn't like where we have
(08:42):
had family vacations and things like that. So I think
there was just a difference where that baby boomer generation.
I think they put their kids through college or they
put themselves through college a little bit. So I think
there was just a little bit of a difference, Like
you're saying a reference to what their thoughts and beliefs
were in reference to themselves versus them establishing something for
(09:07):
generations to come.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
So I have a question. So you would say that
in your position, you believe that your parents put you
through college.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
I think they encouraged me to, you know, to go
to college. My mom did.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
That's not the question. They put you through college.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
They didn't pay that my mom to go alone.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
That's That's why I'm getting here. They didn't put you
through college?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Right, And so do you think the sus that we
put our kids through college?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
I would say to a degree yes, And I'm gonna
say that because of your decision of where you worked, right,
your decision for where you worked. You worked at the
university where they went through right, they were there, So
to some degree, yes, you put them through college. You
(09:56):
paid for it.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Right.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
The idea of putting someone through college is paying for
that's the general idea. So in that space, yes, you did.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
So.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
And on top of that, because now I'm a I'm
gonna put us spend on this is I think about
what that generation, our parent generation, what mode were they in.
They were in survival mode to a great degree.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
In their youth being the Wars.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
And I think it was more to it than that.
I think it's just everyday life, you know. I think
it's just everyday life. You know, you know that true
paycheck to paycheck mentality, right, Robert and Peter pay Paul
whatever else might have been going on. But if you
take a look at even for us, relatively the same
(10:57):
idea and trickled down to us, you know what, But
what happened is is that we got a little more
hip to the game, just a little more of saying, Hey,
you know what, if I'm going to rob Peter to
pay Paul, if I gotta work through this, well, Maurice,
here's what's going to happen. I'm gonna work at the
university that our kids are going to attend, and we're
(11:20):
going to push that agenda. That's what will ended up happening,
at least giving them the opportunity to right and so
and then and then hold on for a second, and
now let's take it a little further. You get to
that university to work there, and you start to listen
to other people within that university who's staying there thirty
(11:43):
forty fifty years, and they're putting whole families through that school,
whole situations through that school. And so now on in
the back of your mind, you're like, so that's how
everyone because everyone does not have the money to go
to school. Everyone's not getting student loans for half of
the stuff that they're going through and what they're doing,
(12:05):
they're not getting all that done right. And on top
of that, somewhat like myself, because you're still there, at
least I get fifty percent off or whatever it might be, right,
so I get a benefit as well as a spouse.
So guess what. So now you're looking at a whole family,
a whole situation that is educated. But the information may
(12:28):
not have necessary been as readily available for our parents
at that time, because the parents before that being our grandparents.
And I can only speak about my grandmother directly, who
really encouraged because that was the part of the idea
(12:51):
back then too, of working for the government, you know,
And so that was really encouraged by my grandmother to
her kids. It's and she try to enforce that on us,
you know, her grandkids, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
But again where they encourage what they knew. So, like
you said, your grandmother's encouraging the government because that's what
she knew, just like you encourage our kids work for
the work for the university. Well, well, but that's what
you know.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
I don't know. I don't know working for the university.
I go based off of what you're stating, and I'm
going based off of, I mean, one, what you were
able to provide by working for the university. But then
number two, listen to the conversations that you're having of yo,
you get to go to school for free. Yo, if
(13:41):
you're here long enough, you get to help out other
people's situations or whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
It is.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Also, yes, y'all get stuff done, but it's in a
more relaxed environment.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Not not every place, I'm sure that more rel No.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
No, no, here's what I mean by relax What I
mean by relaxes is that because in corporate America every
minute costs money, that doesn't mean it doesn't happen that
it doesn't. It's not like that in a university. But
not only does it cost money, but there's an educational
component to that as well. You know, you're helping out kids,
(14:22):
you're you know whatever, whatever it might be like, there's
other parts to that that other places don't provide in
that minute to minute out by our situation, you know.
So for yourself, you know, yes, you can. You know,
you're working, but you're also helping out these these uh
(14:45):
I forgot what you called student student workers, right, you know,
you're encouraging these student workers to not just work, make
a little bit of money on the side, whatever it
might be, to balance out student loans, whatever it might be.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
But hey, you know, what what are your dreams, what
are your.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
Asp how does this job, you know, support what your
next steps are as you're looking at some of the
what's the thing, what's the people called that you're with now?
The students that you're with now that work graduate students? Right,
So again that's again that's something with them is hey,
(15:20):
this is moving them on to the next level in
their career, right, you know, So there's a different level of.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Ministry quote unquote if you will, in that space.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
So that's why you know, for myself where hey kids,
you know, in terms of our kids consider because do
you understand I mean y'all first of all, y'all like
going there to a degree and then understand that because
you really want to help people and you really want
to see people grow and whatever it is, you get
(15:54):
to actually see that in that environment. So so that
environment allows you to see almost a full maturation of
people walking in anywhere between sixteen and nineteen years old.
When you walk out at twenty one to twenty five,
twenty six, you'd be like, oh.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Wow, you grow so much.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
You're like like your kids, you know.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
So so those are type of things that you know,
why I might I encourage that type of job.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
It's it's just funny. A lot of things that you
were saying, you were saying them like you're talking to
our kids. And again, this show was on being in
the middle, but a lot of things you were saying.
I was like, I remember you talking to your mom
about that. I remember, you know, us talking to my
mom about it, like hey, like what are you doing?
(16:48):
Like why do you work here? Why do you know?
Why don't you do something else? Like you know, all
of these encouraging things with your mom, like hey, you know,
what do you want to do in your retirement? You know,
what do you want to you know, what do you
have to give back? Like, hey, you could help these
people out in the ministry type thing. You know my
mom she works little sides part time job and you're like,
(17:08):
you know, well, well why do you like doing that?
And why are you doing it? And that type of thing.
So again, just the same conversations that we have with
our children and motivating them and friends.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
You keep calling our parents and children.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Because you said could you just mentioned how I talk
to the parents and then you said motivating the children
are No, I'm.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Saying you're motivating both. Okay, I'm saying that everything that
you do, you know, in this Sandwich generation, things that
you do with your kids, you also are doing with
your parents. That's what I feel I am doing, no,
and I'm not saying I'm just saying for us, like
I'm talking, you know, in reference to us. You know,
(17:54):
our daughter had an injury at work, and you know,
it was like, I have to go get checked out,
and we're like, okay, good, you know, and she's like
then then a little little more information came out, Oh,
I have to go after work okay, and I have
(18:14):
to get this. So it's just finally we asked the question,
are you saying all this because you want someone to
you want one of your parents to go with you?
And she was like, yes, you know what I mean.
And then the next day my mom sends a message,
I don't feel well Okay, I think I'm gonna go
to the er. Okay. Then she's like, can somebody get me?
(18:40):
You know what I mean. So it's just always, you know,
that that juggling act, but also the conversations again that
you have with the one you have with the other,
you know, you know, just again as our oldest is
venturing out with her real job and now has her
(19:01):
own health insurance and has her own things, and it's
just like, okay, we have to give her reminders like Okay,
remember to get this that, you know, make sure you
pay that, make sure you do these things with the insurance.
And it's like likewise with my mom, I'm like, hey, Mom,
like make sure you follow up with this and make
sure you're doing that. And it's just the same conversation.
(19:23):
So I just wish that I could just record the
one conversation, just keep playing back to the other person,
just just keep it generic. Yes, yes, almost like a.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
It's AI out there right, yes.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
So so basically, you know how y'all call customer service
and if you say yes, it goes here.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
If you say no, you goes there. Yeah, it's the
same idea.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Yeah, I think maybe I need to put that as
my new message, Like if you're calling for this, press one.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I mean, don't always say don't even say press because
some people are not gonna they're gonna not gon on
press anything. Just just just speak it. Just you know,
just say hey, hey, how you doing today, what's going on? Okay,
what would you like for me to do? And then
once that goes because technically that's a yes, it goes here, Well,
(20:14):
you know today I have I'm making grits right now,
so you know, whatever it might be, or okay, you
really don't want me to do that, all right, fine,
well just make sure you follow through and whatever. So
that way, Yes, I'm making grits. I ain't got time,
no you know, or no, all kay, just follow up
(20:37):
and have a nice day. Yes, yes, that's it, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
So.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
But but like you're stating, because of the space that
we're in, yes, we are.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
In a position of asking the same relatively the same
type of questions. Relatively, Hey, you know, what do you
want to do in the next four to five years?
Because because I know for myself, I keep asking myself
that same question and making sure that I stay on track,
And so I'm only going to ask what I'm trying
(21:08):
to do for myself. I don't want to be in
the same place now talking to y'all. I don't have
a problem with talking to y'all but you, but the questions,
the ideas or whatever it is that we're sharing here
on the podcast, and as we're speaking to y'all, should
you should see in here continue to hear maturation in
(21:29):
our conversations you should hear progress. You know, we're not
gonna talk about well, you know, in three years, well,
you know we're still assuming Brandon twenty five years. No,
we're twenty eight years old, we're about to be thirty.
What's great change? Now?
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Again?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Real life stuff? Right, So when we were twenty eight
for real, and well, when I was twenty eight, I
had a three or four year old. I had a
two year old. So guess what my life wasn't the
same and wasn't saying when I was twenty five? You know,
so twenty five are no twenty five? You were pregnant
(22:08):
when I was twenty five, So in that space, what
was my life like I was?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
You know?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
So you know, so I'm excited. You know, there's a
whole lot going on at twenty five.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, we'll have to talk about that on another show,
you know.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
And so that's what I'm saying, even with this show,
we're twenty If we're going based off of my life
at twenty five, then.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Yeah, yeah we're we're pregnant. We haven't given birth yet,
you get what I mean?
Speaker 3 (22:51):
You know, So, so on this show, you should be
able to hear the maturation of Hey, you know, what
the baby's here. We you know, life has changed, and
you know now the baby's a toddler. Oh wow, the
baby's a kid now you know? So oh wow.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
You know what.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
That's a true transformation. We ain't got worry about diapers anymore. Yo.
That's a whole nother life.
Speaker 5 (23:17):
You know.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
And actually we feel free. Then we can do other stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Some of the Sandwich generation stuff. Will we have to
change diapers later on in life?
Speaker 4 (23:26):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
I'm trying to make sure I got money to pay
somebody do that. I mean, but but see, and here's
the here's the other part too. What I've what I've
heard more than once recently, is that the generation prior
(23:48):
to us are almost duplicating the generation before them and saying, Hey,
how I hurt, how I can't move? Who I feel
like whatever? It is like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. You complain about them
in that space, right, Do better, Like that's my mentality.
(24:12):
Do better if you already know that's what the situation is.
And or again, the other part of that is if
you think that that is, or maybe you haven't thought
of it. I know, I think about it. If it
is a family health concern, right, do better stop the
(24:33):
bad habits or whatever it is, you know, so and
change it, change change the narrative. Now, let's understand there's
some things that it's easier said than done. We understand
that part and we are totally aware. The challenge with
that is is that you can't always expect for others
(24:55):
to take on your challenges either. You can't do that.
That's not fair, especially in the position that we're in
right now of people are not doing the typical nine
to fives and or in or they're nine to fives,
are not the typical hours either. Like our daughter she
(25:19):
has a nine to five job. It's not nine to
five hours though, and at any given time, like she
just talked to us about it last night, she said,
oh gosh, if I was at work, I know I'll
be doing the sixteen just like this, you know, but
she's so used to it right now, of fluctuating between
(25:42):
an eight hour day and at sixteen hour day, she's
so used to that. Well in our reality when she's home,
do I.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
Have the opportunity to rely on her? In all honesty?
Speaker 3 (25:57):
How fair would that be for me to say, oh, wow,
baby girl, I'm all jacked up. Can you come help
me after you just work sixteen hours and you got
to turn around and go back to work. Yo, that's
not fair. So I have to be able to understand
that as of right now, especially I'm not our parents' age,
(26:17):
you know. But I have to prepare for that moving forward,
you know, of saying hey, in twenty five years or whatever,
I need to say, I've done these steps to get
to a better place. I was diagnosed with goal yes,
and so with that, I had to change my diet.
(26:39):
I had to understand that I can't eat as many
processed foods. I understood that I can't eat as many
shrimps as I would like. I can't eat as many
steaks as I would like, you know, Or lambs. I
can't eat as many lambs. You know. So while you
know I used to like mushrooms, I can't do mushrooms.
(26:59):
There's a lot of stuff that I can't eat because
what I've learned it is immediate blowup, blow up situations.
I'm making up words because that's how it felt. And
for those people that have had out have had out
flare ups, you totally understand where I'm coming from, because
(27:20):
it is not I mean, Confince saw me in those
moments of pain. Yes, it's not pretty, and I can't
get comfortable. I can feel it coming on. And I
remember when we went on a family trip. We was
at a family reunion, to a conference point of a
family reunion. The I remember that I had to take
(27:44):
my shoe off walking around Washington, d C. With my
shoe off because my toe was hurting, not knowingsed that's
prior to.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
Being diagnosed, but not knowing that's what was going on.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
And so I walking around DC, well, once you on,
once you are walking around with this, you know, with
my shoe on my hand, it was craziness, not knowing
that it was the the.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
Pre stuff going on. So you know, so so in
that is all right old school people pay attention to
what you're eating, please.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
And we just had that conversation with one of you know,
one of the parents and she was like the stuff
you know again, and Maurice was just sharing his experience
that hey, because he's been diagnosed with this, he can
no longer do that. And I don't know, you know,
it's because he's still in his forties, he can make
(28:49):
the decision to say that's what it is. Maybe those
over sixty almost seventy, in their seventies, you know, hey,
I've been doing it this long and whatever. Okay, Well
guess what. Maurice didn't have gout in his twenties, right,
you know what I mean, So he can't be like, well, doctor,
I always ate steak and you know, surf and turf,
(29:09):
and I never had a problem. So I don't understand.
And now I'm just going to continue to eat it.
Oh well, the doctor's going to say okay, and you'll
continue to be in pain, sir.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Right right, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
So again to those who also are going through stuff, Hey,
ma'am sir, if you've been diagnosed with something and they're
telling you make these changes, perhaps make those changes, right
because it'll change things.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
And no one's saying to stop like you don't have
like it's not like I've stopped eating shrimp, right, you know?
And that right now, that is one of coffee and
I's favorite lunch on Fridays when she worked from home.
That is our that's our treat to ourselves, right, that's
our little quick midday lunch date. Yes, Bank Bang triump.
(30:04):
But excuse me, so again it's in moderation now it
doesn't happen every Friday. But but that's a midday treat. Hey.
You know what, as much as I as much as
I like steak, the beef that I might get the
most might be a cheese steak.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
I can't.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
I don't do too many ribbis and that whatever. But
when I do, I might do it once every two
or three months. I haven't had lamb because the last
time I had lamb, unfortunately immediately it was.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Immediate and it was so so sad, Oh my goodness,
because it was the holiday or something like that, like
we had for Christmas and we had made so much lamb.
We had it for the holiday, and we had some
wrapped up and and and for like to have later on.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Yeah, actually you know what it was. I bought it
for a Thanksgiving, okay, and then we were supposed to
have the second part of that.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
For Christmas something like that.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
I don't know, because I know I don't eat that much,
so I'm.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Like, all for New Year. I don't know. It's like,
you know, so we had you know, he had seasoned
it and whatever. We had wrapped some up to put
in the freezer or whatever to eat later. And I
remember saying to him, I'm like, what should I do
with this? You were like, just away, I can't eat it. So, yeah,
(31:37):
you make those tough decisions, you know, of what's what's
going to make things better and keep your health and
keep you safe, you know. And again again, like I've
been saying, this is the sandwich inderation. We do the
same thing with our kids. Hey what are you eating?
What's what's causing this? Like I think you were just
looking at somebody like, hey, you're breaking out, Like what's
going on?
Speaker 3 (31:57):
What are you eating?
Speaker 1 (31:57):
You know? And not to say that everything is coming
from what you eat, but a lot of times when
you put in your body does come back out, you
know what I mean. It doesn't always come out, you know, flushable.
Sometimes that's funny, that was my cute way of saying it.
I thought. So sometimes it comes back out in your
(32:19):
and your pores and your skin and your hair, you know,
so thank you. So yeah, so you know, we we're
we're paying attention to all of those things, and like
Maurice say, we're also being mindful and taking note so
that we don't cause issue to our kids, you know,
(32:40):
moving forward with as he said, hey, if if somebody
just worked to sixteen or we're not asking them to
drive us to the the hospital and sit with us.
But nor do we want to keep them in the dark,
because I think that's the other hurtful, heart hard part
that we have in this Sandwich generation. It's like, you know,
(33:01):
we'll talk to a parent and they'll be like, oh, yeah,
I fail four times last week and I can't move
my leg.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Well part of that too is that they don't want
to hear the questions though. Either they're like, well how
did you fall? Yes, why did you fall yourself down?
Speaker 1 (33:20):
How long were you laying there?
Speaker 3 (33:22):
I said, somebody to want somebody out there like why
are you working so hard?
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Right, I asked a question, you know, and so or Hey,
you know what, I'm just getting out the hospital. But
you know what, I'm gonna go and still eat, you know,
go out to eat dinner. Well, hey, does that make sense?
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Right?
Speaker 3 (33:41):
And what did they tell you to do? But you're
making a decision to go against that. Well, again, the
challenge is what do you want us to do? Because
if you have a problem, to some degree, you deserve it.
Maybe because if you don't listen, right, I mean, that
(34:02):
isn't that what happens when when we don't listen to God?
He punishes us to some degree? Right, it could feel
like he deserted us. He hasn't deserted us. It's just
that he gave us free will. Right.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
We made a decision that might have gone against his will,
and he was like, all right, you want to go
against it?
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Who guess what? Here's the consequence? Right, you know?
Speaker 4 (34:24):
And the reality is is that I don't have to
pull you out of that.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
That's not you know. And so sometimes I'm not saying
I have a God complex or nothing like that, but
it's like, did you not listen? What listens?
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Are you supposed to learn from this?
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Like?
Speaker 4 (34:44):
You do what I mean?
Speaker 3 (34:45):
And understand that sometimes it's not a situation of everybody's
not gonna always be there, you know? So how do
you take care of yourself when you have to be
there by yourself? Do you have to do in those situations?
Do you really, like, Lord, really please help me through
this process, help me through this situation? And I think
(35:08):
and that's kind of been my my perspective lately. Hey,
you know, are you leaning on the right places and spaces.
Are you leaning on the right source?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Well, sure enough, makes me lead on the right source
dealing with these things.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
But but see, but again it's why is that though, right?
Speaker 5 (35:29):
You know?
Speaker 4 (35:29):
Because are they not connected? Are they not whatever it is?
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Or do they you know, are people get so caught
up in meisms that they're not doing what they really
need to do for me? Right? Like in their mind
is hey, I'm gonna do this. But I understand that,
and I also in that space, No, it affects this
(35:57):
being you know, whatever the body or whatever it might be,
but I'm not ready to deal with that being the
long term or the true outcome. Well, don't do it
from the beginning then, and you can't expect for someone
else to jump up just because and that's been some
of the challenges and having people understand you got to
(36:22):
deal with that. And just because you saw some other
people in our lives call for you and you jumped
or whatever it is, it's not going to be the
same for everybody else after It's not and it can't
be because in our reality did you jump all the
(36:46):
time either? So that's so it's just kind of like,
you know.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
What stage, did you jump right? So you know, hey again,
if we're talking about those who are in their seventies,
when they were when their parents or their elders were
in the seventies, what was going on? You know, were
you still working where you're still you know, living your
(37:13):
best life?
Speaker 2 (37:14):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (37:15):
And you did things when you had time and availability,
not oh you called now I'm there. Now that may
have changed when the elder got into their eighties, nineties, hundreds.
You know, now you are now in your eighties or whatever,
(37:36):
and you have that time. You're no longer working, and
you can jump up and go and sit down and
have tea and soup together. You can ask questions, and
you can be an advocate because that person's now upper
(37:57):
and age. And you know, sometimes those that are in
the medical world, or you know, even other things like
if you and I've noticed this, like when I have
been a caregiver for someone who was in their eighties
or nineties, if I'm with them and they're going to
(38:18):
the doctors or they're going even to the supermarket, those
people who are in the customer service will address me
even though it's pertaining to that person. You know what
I mean, like they'll look at me and like, all right,
that's you know, forty seven dollars and sixty cents. I'm like, okay,
well they paying for it's their stuff, I don't you know.
(38:39):
Or the doctor will say things, you know, and they'll
look more at the younger person in the room. And
that has happened. So, you know, it just some of
the things that, like you said, where where I guess
my question is that you know, where were those individuals
that are now looking for that to happen?
Speaker 3 (39:03):
And I will let me let me tell you my
own experience based off or something that you just said,
and which is because it's like.
Speaker 4 (39:11):
Dealing with one of our family members where.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
They were more they were concentrating more on one issue
versus the issue while they're there, Yes, and so the
problem is it's like, well are you hearing what they're
you know, the customer service person or the medical person's
(39:37):
asking like is that computing?
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Like?
Speaker 3 (39:40):
So, so you're talking about something that's totally different, and
then you're getting frustrated because the service is being provided
it's not the service.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
That you want.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Well that's not what you said. Your problem was from
the very beginning.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
So and It may be because those people who are
providing the customer service and and the medical attention are younger,
so they kind of look like they give us that
eyeball like help me, like help translate you know what
I'm saying to your your care you know, you're you're
the person, you're caring for your family member, and it's
(40:18):
just like, hey, this that's what they're looking for. So
and then I can kind of remember what the situation
was that you're referring to. It's tough, you know, it's
tough for us being in the middle. It's tough for
those that are providing that customer service.
Speaker 4 (40:36):
I mean, because here's the thing. I'm sitting there, I'm
looking I'm like, oh wow, oh really.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Flip things around.
Speaker 3 (40:44):
So you're it's been brought to my attention that this
is an emergency and in this situation.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
You want to talk about something, you want.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
To talk about something totally different. And now it's like,
so it was in an emergency.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Then, and you've brought these people out, So what do.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
You want me to do? Now?
Speaker 1 (41:06):
What do you want them to do? Oh?
Speaker 3 (41:08):
No, I'm sorry, I was stuck on me. No I'm
saying because I was stuck on me because of like
you said, now I am in the middle between you
and the professionals. Yes, and so what do you want
me to do? I can't co sign your issue because
that's not what I was called for.
Speaker 4 (41:27):
I was called for.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
The main issue, which is which is what they were called.
That's why they were called.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
That's why the emergency was called.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
And now all of a sudden, we're here for something.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Else and you want me to be how we can't
get to like.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
You know, and I'm like, all right, so we need
to deal with that, like that's more urgent than the
other situations. But then also let's understand too, in all reality,
the urgent situation is also something that you won't deal with, right,
I mean, and this has been consistent across the board,
(42:08):
So we're not talking about one particular situation. It's it's
almost like our life. The last couple of weeks, it's
been the same situation across everybody.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yes, you know.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
So it's like the urgent issue or the emergent issue
cannot be handled because in our reality that situation is
based off of their life decisions. The other situation that
they're talking about or dealing with has nothing to do
with the urgent issue or the emergent issue, but they
(42:39):
won't deal with the real situation or things that led
up to the urgent issue in all honesty.
Speaker 4 (42:47):
So it's like, why are you.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Not handling the real problem or the real culpriate to
your on going issue? Here is your problem?
Speaker 1 (43:04):
Is this?
Speaker 3 (43:05):
You don't want to deal with it?
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Why why can't you see that? Like you said, that
is the nucleus and everything else?
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Right, And so now again now you're frustrated because I'm
not I'm not responding. I'm not oh well again, I
don't have what's the phrase, no teeth for the fever mentality?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
You know.
Speaker 4 (43:33):
So I'm sorry, I come you know all these oh yeah,
you know, so all the.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
You know, hey, you know, I don't come off sympathetic
or whatever. No, because I'm listening to this logically, not emotionally.
Speaker 4 (43:50):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Why would I have emotion and feel all sad and
bother whatever it is? Offer a decision that you made.
It's not my decision.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
It wasn't and and.
Speaker 3 (44:04):
And then you're frustrated because I'm not sad. I'm not saying,
oh what it's me or whatever it is? No, I don't.
I don't feel that way because if the shoe was
on the other foot, if the shoe was on the
other foot, yes, or you would be like oh and
(44:25):
keep talking about yourself, you can, you know. So, so
the problem is that it's no fun when the shoes
on the other foot.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
It's not Yeah, I don't like wearing my right shoe
on my left foot.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
Okay, somebody else's shoes on your foot, you know, because
people are not aware, you know, you know, and so
being stuck in the sandwich space because you know, the
seniors know way more than you. You'll never know as
much as the whatever it is, that's the mentality. And
(45:02):
the kids, you know, or the younger people are like, hey,
you don't know anything. I know it all.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
So it's like and see for me, some of my
seniors are well in some of yours as well. Well,
I don't know how to work that computer thing, and
I don't know how to find it out, and you
and Maurice y'all know so much, and you know, if
you could.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Just help me find So there is a situation where
it depends on who the person is, yes, because there
are some people that literally do not have a computer
I mean, and so for some of that I understand,
but they also have a library that they keep referring
(45:44):
to that is one hundred and eighteen years old, and
so the way things are handled today are nowhere near
how they handle it back in the Stone Age. So
they're not literally taking your prescriptions from the tree and
mashing it up on a rock like you know what
(46:04):
I mean, Like it's not it's not that basic anymore,
you know so or that strenuous, because that might be
a whole lot of you know whatever. But anyway, but
then those that are actually computer literate and it's on
a computer, you have every opportunity to do this exact
same thing. Or is it just pure laziness.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
That's why we have you guys.
Speaker 4 (46:30):
You don't have me, so you could do it yourself.
And here's the other part of that too.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
You're not gonna like my results because my results aren't
what you're looking for, because if you really had me, look,
I'm gonna look for what's best was uh, the best
interest for you, not just today but two or three
years from now. So and then you know, and they're like,
(46:56):
well that's not what I'm looking for, all right, Well,
look you look it up then, you know. So I
think those are some of the things where we're dealing
with being stuck in this sandwich spot, you know, and
the sandwiches ain't always good, you know, it's greasy. It's
like the other day we had a cheese steak, and
(47:18):
that's the only reason I brought up the whole cheese
stat thing earlier. We had cheese seak the other day
and it was nowhere near what I wanted it to be.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
Yeah, it was more like I so again from Philly.
Speaker 3 (47:36):
You know, everyone has their their preference and there are
times where I want a cheese steak hogy, right, So
that's what I had at cheese steak hogy, and it
was more lettuce and onion on it and hot peppers.
Like I asked for sweet peppers.
Speaker 4 (47:56):
It wasn't. I don't know if I had one sweet
pepper at all. And then the.
Speaker 3 (48:01):
Steak, i'llbeit it was tasty, but there was nothing a
whole lot to taste. So I was savoring that one
little bite that I could with the steak in the
bread or whatever, because everything else was solid. Now evidently
I would there was some great bean that said, ma, race,
you need to eat more green vegetables or something, you know.
(48:24):
So maybe that's what I needed to have, But it
wasn't what I anticipated.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Yeah, no, it wasn't. We have this thing where we
just keep trying different places, Like we don't have a
one go to all the time, Like we have a
good go to Philly cheese steak place. Like if someone
says to us or you know, someone from out of town,
it's like, oh, I want to Philadelphia cheese and be like,
first of all, it was a Philly cheese steak, you know,
(48:50):
so we have a place to go to. The line
is long, the wait is long, they don't answer the phone.
You have to go in person. You might even not
even be able to stand inside, like it's that crowded.
You got to stand outside, sit in your car, wait
forever to get it. But when you get it, it's
like and it's overflowing and throwing the cheese. Everything kind
(49:15):
of melts together. Like I don't want to like one
bite have onions, like Marie said, and then another bite
have a steak, and then another bite. It's just a
cheese sandwich. I need all that to like go together.
I needed to know that it marinated together. It lives together.
It wants to be together, just like in a relationship,
(49:36):
it all needs to be together. So we keep trying
different places, and we need to stop because we just.
Speaker 3 (49:48):
We just haven't been happy with the places are just
kind of like, hey, you know, we're trying it, or
we're lazy or whatever it might have been. Don't feel
like drop. And here's the thing. The other day when
we got the cheese steak, I was supposed to be
walking because it's walking distance. I still drove right because
I was like, I don't made.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
Us choose that place. And it's because it's places we
don't frequent. We don't you know, they could have changed
the cook and maybe the last time we had it
it was okay, but this time is like, I mean,
it wasn't it was.
Speaker 3 (50:19):
It was good from a taste perspective, it just wasn't
what I because of the other place that we've been frequenting.
Speaker 1 (50:27):
You know, I'm like, ah, we get our mouths. I
think a little bit set for that.
Speaker 4 (50:31):
Yeah we did, but yeah, I disappointed myself.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
Yeah yet again. And we kind of do a cheese
stake thing maybe once a month, once every other month.
So I think the time before we did the same thing.
We didn't feel like waiting and yeah, we yeah, we
kicked ourselves for that as well.
Speaker 3 (50:47):
Sometimes other people choose yeah, because I say that one
was not necessarily our it was Hey, you know, we
allowed one of the children to make a decision, and
you know, I'm like, oh, wow, we used to go
to that place before.
Speaker 1 (51:00):
But they didn't even get a cheese steak. They didn't
so yeah, that should have been that should have been
right there. Yeah, you know, even when we did the steaks, Yeah,
he didn't even get The other person didn't get a stick.
They got a pizza and enjoyed it.
Speaker 3 (51:18):
So yeah, so yeah, so but you know, that's what
it's like to be in this sandwich space. Sometimes you
enjoy it and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you understand, like, hey,
I need to continue to go this right path, this
path because you know, and part of it is comfortability,
you know, but it's also the the experience as well,
(51:39):
you know. So, but we thank you very much for
listening and let us know how you know what your
life is like if you're in a sandwich position, and
if you know you're dealing with both the seiors of
your family and the the young people of your family,
if you're dealing with how are you.
Speaker 4 (52:00):
Dealing with it.
Speaker 1 (52:02):
And what you're doing to get through because it.
Speaker 3 (52:05):
Was given a huge challenges like it's given me right now,
just like I gave Coffer is shoot.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
Just thinking about we're coughing. The show is a sandwich
pretty much cough in the beginning and couldn't get it
together and mass coughing and can't get it together.
Speaker 3 (52:19):
So well.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
We thank you' all very much, Thank you so so
much for listening.
Speaker 5 (52:23):
To you, Thanks for tuning in to another episode of
a No Fruit podcast where we bring you fruitful conversations,
ripen wisdom and love that's deeply rooted. If you enjoyed
this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review,
and share it with someone who could use a little
inspiration in their death. Until next time, stay rooted in
love and remember every seed you plant today shapes the
(52:43):
fruit of tomorrow.
Being stuck in the Sandwich generation is tough, but there's
hope for those in the middle. We'll talk more about
it after this.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Let's talk about love and live the way of God
in send Life Experience to show help you switch tressform.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Hello, Hello, Hello, and Welcome to the Middle. Welcome to
the Middle. We're here another episode of the No Fruit podcast,
and Marisa and I are going to talk to you
a little bit about being part of this Sandwich generation
and dealing with our parents and our young adult children,
(00:57):
how to manage all of those things and what it's like,
or what it's been like, at least for us trying
to manage it all with doctor's appointments, and I find
ourselves kind of talking to our parents almost the same
way we're talking to our kids. Make sure you eat,
make sure you do these things. So we're gona talk
a little bit about that and what that's been like
(01:21):
for us and how we've been trying to handle it
and manage it. And then if you have tips and
tricks for us, we hope that you would share those
with us in the comments, because it's tough being here
in this Sandwich generation. I think a lot of us
are dealing with it as the that baby boomer generation
(01:44):
is getting older and we as well. I guess I'm
a gen xer and having to manage my parents and
all the things that she's going through. And sometimes it
(02:06):
gets tough because I now have to take the phone
calls of hey, you know, or of what's going on
in her life, where I didn't have to do that
ten years ago. So I'm following up with her, Hey
did you take your medication? Hey did you go to
the doctor? Did you follow up with this person? How
are you feeling today? I'm getting the phone calls of
(02:28):
that she's not feeling well, just like I did when
my kids were little, of the nurse calling saying, hey,
your kid don't feel good, you know, please come and
pick them up. Now I'm getting the calls to pick
up my mother because she doesn't feel well. So it's
just been a challenge to kind of get into all
(02:49):
of those things. And it's just been tough and I'm
losing my voice.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I mean, so do you need some help over there?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I think, and I think it might be okay, it'll
come back, but it's just been challenging. It's been rough, I.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Mean, and so so what Confla just went through. In
my opinion, it's a pure example of what it's been
like looking at you know, looking at the parents, because
at times you hear they'll come out strong and then
you start to see where things are starting to change
(03:29):
in mid stride, if you will, Just like Coppa just
did you know, losing her voice and you know, can't
clear her throat. Whatever it might have been, it was,
you know, and so and that wasn't even playing like
and conference over here waving me on to kind of
you know, already take it over, take it over. But
(03:51):
it's like I'm looking at him like, well, no, that's
part of the show, like you know, you know, And
so I think what happens is that unfortunately, as we
as confiscated, you know, being in the Sandwich space, we're
(04:12):
trying to be as understanding and.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
On top of the you know, all the above. The
challenge with that is is that.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Our goals and dreams, and I'm gonna speak personally for myself,
my my dreams and my goals and aspirations, all those
types of things are not the same.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
As those that are before us.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
And so.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
The expectation for me to be right there is not
the same because I don't have the typical no to
five And because of that, the it's hard to gauge, hey,
(05:10):
is Maurice available or is he not? You know, so
because those are people that are in the whole entrepreneurship.
Guess what, there there is no no time off.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Now.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
That's also the difference between working in your business and
on your business as well. And y'all can hear about
that from that Wildever Work podcast of course by you
know yours truly and we talk about those type of things.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
But even if you're you're working on your business, it
still doesn't stop.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
And so.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Because you're looking to continue to grow and touch more
people and become innovative and all those type of things.
So a lot of times in this space, for myself,
it's challenging because you want to be there. And the
other part is like, ah, you know, like I'm really
(06:05):
trying to set something up for the generation after us
or generations after us, where I don't believe our parents cared.
I don't. Now that doesn't mean that that's not true, right,
I think they do care, but I think overall, like
(06:26):
they didn't care to think about generations after generations after generations,
like I'm considering, you know, whereas like, hey, you know,
my offspring is okay, I guess you know, they're responsible
for their offspring, you know whatever, like you know, and
(06:46):
I know that sounds kind of crazy. It's just the
way they It's just the way they.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Maneuvered for me, right, I think.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
And we've talked about this on the show before when
we talked about generations and where our grandparents parents. Both
of our grandparents owned a home, so they had that foundation.
They had that thought, whether that was thinking about future
(07:12):
generations or whatever, like maybe because you know, of whatever
their upbringing was, they had in their mind somehow, some
way that or maybe there was a discount, like everybody's
going around just giving out houses and said, hey, you know,
buy a home. And they bought homes. But you know,
(07:34):
both of our parents did not buy homes, you know
what I mean, whether they rented or things like that,
lived with the family member. Yeah, so, like you said,
they were thinking more so about the here and now,
thinking about a little bit of themselves. But with that,
(07:57):
what scientists I've heard, you know, news or whatever else
that they also wanted better for their kids. So that's
why we had you know, we didn't have we had
more of name brand clothes here and there. We may
(08:17):
have gone on a vacation, like I don't hear very
much like our parents say, oh yeah, we went on
a family vacation, or we went on a family getaway
necessarily other than maybe a family reunion type thing. I
know your family kind of went down to visit their siblings,
your grandparents' siblings, but it wasn't like where we have
(08:42):
had family vacations and things like that. So I think
there was just a difference where that baby boomer generation.
I think they put their kids through college or they
put themselves through college a little bit. So I think
there was just a little bit of a difference, Like
you're saying a reference to what their thoughts and beliefs
were in reference to themselves versus them establishing something for
(09:07):
generations to come.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
So I have a question. So you would say that
in your position, you believe that your parents put you
through college.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
I think they encouraged me to, you know, to go
to college. My mom did.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
That's not the question. They put you through college.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
They didn't pay that my mom to go alone.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
That's That's why I'm getting here. They didn't put you
through college?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Right, And so do you think the sus that we
put our kids through college?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
I would say to a degree yes, And I'm gonna
say that because of your decision of where you worked, right,
your decision for where you worked. You worked at the
university where they went through right, they were there, So
to some degree, yes, you put them through college. You
(09:56):
paid for it.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Right.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
The idea of putting someone through college is paying for
that's the general idea. So in that space, yes, you did.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
So.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
And on top of that, because now I'm a I'm
gonna put us spend on this is I think about
what that generation, our parent generation, what mode were they in.
They were in survival mode to a great degree.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
In their youth being the Wars.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
And I think it was more to it than that.
I think it's just everyday life, you know. I think
it's just everyday life. You know, you know that true
paycheck to paycheck mentality, right, Robert and Peter pay Paul
whatever else might have been going on. But if you
take a look at even for us, relatively the same
(10:57):
idea and trickled down to us, you know what, But
what happened is is that we got a little more
hip to the game, just a little more of saying, Hey,
you know what, if I'm going to rob Peter to
pay Paul, if I gotta work through this, well, Maurice,
here's what's going to happen. I'm gonna work at the
university that our kids are going to attend, and we're
(11:20):
going to push that agenda. That's what will ended up happening,
at least giving them the opportunity to right and so
and then and then hold on for a second, and
now let's take it a little further. You get to
that university to work there, and you start to listen
to other people within that university who's staying there thirty
(11:43):
forty fifty years, and they're putting whole families through that school,
whole situations through that school. And so now on in
the back of your mind, you're like, so that's how
everyone because everyone does not have the money to go
to school. Everyone's not getting student loans for half of
the stuff that they're going through and what they're doing,
(12:05):
they're not getting all that done right. And on top
of that, somewhat like myself, because you're still there, at
least I get fifty percent off or whatever it might be, right,
so I get a benefit as well as a spouse.
So guess what. So now you're looking at a whole family,
a whole situation that is educated. But the information may
(12:28):
not have necessary been as readily available for our parents
at that time, because the parents before that being our grandparents.
And I can only speak about my grandmother directly, who
really encouraged because that was the part of the idea
(12:51):
back then too, of working for the government, you know,
And so that was really encouraged by my grandmother to
her kids. It's and she try to enforce that on us,
you know, her grandkids, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
But again where they encourage what they knew. So, like
you said, your grandmother's encouraging the government because that's what
she knew, just like you encourage our kids work for
the work for the university. Well, well, but that's what
you know.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
I don't know. I don't know working for the university.
I go based off of what you're stating, and I'm
going based off of, I mean, one, what you were
able to provide by working for the university. But then
number two, listen to the conversations that you're having of yo,
you get to go to school for free. Yo, if
(13:41):
you're here long enough, you get to help out other
people's situations or whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
It is.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Also, yes, y'all get stuff done, but it's in a
more relaxed environment.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Not not every place, I'm sure that more rel No.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
No, no, here's what I mean by relax What I
mean by relaxes is that because in corporate America every
minute costs money, that doesn't mean it doesn't happen that
it doesn't. It's not like that in a university. But
not only does it cost money, but there's an educational
component to that as well. You know, you're helping out kids,
(14:22):
you're you know whatever, whatever it might be like, there's
other parts to that that other places don't provide in
that minute to minute out by our situation, you know.
So for yourself, you know, yes, you can. You know,
you're working, but you're also helping out these these uh
(14:45):
I forgot what you called student student workers, right, you know,
you're encouraging these student workers to not just work, make
a little bit of money on the side, whatever it
might be, to balance out student loans, whatever it might be.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
But hey, you know, what what are your dreams, what
are your.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
Asp how does this job, you know, support what your
next steps are as you're looking at some of the
what's the thing, what's the people called that you're with now?
The students that you're with now that work graduate students? Right,
So again that's again that's something with them is hey,
(15:20):
this is moving them on to the next level in
their career, right, you know, So there's a different level of.
Speaker 4 (15:30):
Ministry quote unquote if you will, in that space.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
So that's why you know, for myself where hey kids,
you know, in terms of our kids consider because do
you understand I mean y'all first of all, y'all like
going there to a degree and then understand that because
you really want to help people and you really want
to see people grow and whatever it is, you get
(15:54):
to actually see that in that environment. So so that
environment allows you to see almost a full maturation of
people walking in anywhere between sixteen and nineteen years old.
When you walk out at twenty one to twenty five,
twenty six, you'd be like, oh.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Wow, you grow so much.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
You're like like your kids, you know.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
So so those are type of things that you know,
why I might I encourage that type of job.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
It's it's just funny. A lot of things that you
were saying, you were saying them like you're talking to
our kids. And again, this show was on being in
the middle, but a lot of things you were saying.
I was like, I remember you talking to your mom
about that. I remember, you know, us talking to my
mom about it, like hey, like what are you doing?
(16:48):
Like why do you work here? Why do you know?
Why don't you do something else? Like you know, all
of these encouraging things with your mom, like hey, you know,
what do you want to do in your retirement? You know,
what do you want to you know, what do you
have to give back? Like, hey, you could help these
people out in the ministry type thing. You know my
mom she works little sides part time job and you're like,
(17:08):
you know, well, well why do you like doing that?
And why are you doing it? And that type of thing.
So again, just the same conversations that we have with
our children and motivating them and friends.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
You keep calling our parents and children.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Because you said could you just mentioned how I talk
to the parents and then you said motivating the children
are No, I'm.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Saying you're motivating both. Okay, I'm saying that everything that
you do, you know, in this Sandwich generation, things that
you do with your kids, you also are doing with
your parents. That's what I feel I am doing, no,
and I'm not saying I'm just saying for us, like
I'm talking, you know, in reference to us. You know,
(17:54):
our daughter had an injury at work, and you know,
it was like, I have to go get checked out,
and we're like, okay, good, you know, and she's like
then then a little little more information came out, Oh,
I have to go after work okay, and I have
(18:14):
to get this. So it's just finally we asked the question,
are you saying all this because you want someone to
you want one of your parents to go with you?
And she was like, yes, you know what I mean.
And then the next day my mom sends a message,
I don't feel well Okay, I think I'm gonna go
to the er. Okay. Then she's like, can somebody get me?
(18:40):
You know what I mean. So it's just always, you know,
that that juggling act, but also the conversations again that
you have with the one you have with the other,
you know, you know, just again as our oldest is
venturing out with her real job and now has her
(19:01):
own health insurance and has her own things, and it's
just like, okay, we have to give her reminders like Okay,
remember to get this that, you know, make sure you
pay that, make sure you do these things with the insurance.
And it's like likewise with my mom, I'm like, hey, Mom,
like make sure you follow up with this and make
sure you're doing that. And it's just the same conversation.
(19:23):
So I just wish that I could just record the
one conversation, just keep playing back to the other person,
just just keep it generic. Yes, yes, almost like a.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
It's AI out there right, yes.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
So so basically, you know how y'all call customer service
and if you say yes, it goes here.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
If you say no, you goes there. Yeah, it's the
same idea.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Yeah, I think maybe I need to put that as
my new message, Like if you're calling for this, press one.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I mean, don't always say don't even say press because
some people are not gonna they're gonna not gon on
press anything. Just just just speak it. Just you know,
just say hey, hey, how you doing today, what's going on? Okay,
what would you like for me to do? And then
once that goes because technically that's a yes, it goes here, Well,
(20:14):
you know today I have I'm making grits right now,
so you know, whatever it might be, or okay, you
really don't want me to do that, all right, fine,
well just make sure you follow through and whatever. So
that way, Yes, I'm making grits. I ain't got time,
no you know, or no, all kay, just follow up
(20:37):
and have a nice day. Yes, yes, that's it, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
So.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
But but like you're stating, because of the space that
we're in, yes, we are.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
In a position of asking the same relatively the same
type of questions. Relatively, Hey, you know, what do you
want to do in the next four to five years?
Because because I know for myself, I keep asking myself
that same question and making sure that I stay on track,
And so I'm only going to ask what I'm trying
(21:08):
to do for myself. I don't want to be in
the same place now talking to y'all. I don't have
a problem with talking to y'all but you, but the questions,
the ideas or whatever it is that we're sharing here
on the podcast, and as we're speaking to y'all, should
you should see in here continue to hear maturation in
(21:29):
our conversations you should hear progress. You know, we're not
gonna talk about well, you know, in three years, well,
you know we're still assuming Brandon twenty five years. No,
we're twenty eight years old, we're about to be thirty.
What's great change? Now?
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Again?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Real life stuff? Right, So when we were twenty eight
for real, and well, when I was twenty eight, I
had a three or four year old. I had a
two year old. So guess what my life wasn't the
same and wasn't saying when I was twenty five? You know,
so twenty five are no twenty five? You were pregnant
(22:08):
when I was twenty five, So in that space, what
was my life like I was?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
You know?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
So you know, so I'm excited. You know, there's a
whole lot going on at twenty five.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, we'll have to talk about that on another show,
you know.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
And so that's what I'm saying, even with this show,
we're twenty If we're going based off of my life
at twenty five, then.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Yeah, yeah we're we're pregnant. We haven't given birth yet,
you get what I mean?
Speaker 3 (22:51):
You know, So, so on this show, you should be
able to hear the maturation of Hey, you know, what
the baby's here. We you know, life has changed, and
you know now the baby's a toddler. Oh wow, the
baby's a kid now you know? So oh wow.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
You know what.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
That's a true transformation. We ain't got worry about diapers anymore. Yo.
That's a whole nother life.
Speaker 5 (23:17):
You know.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
And actually we feel free. Then we can do other stuff.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Some of the Sandwich generation stuff. Will we have to
change diapers later on in life?
Speaker 4 (23:26):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
I'm trying to make sure I got money to pay
somebody do that. I mean, but but see, and here's
the here's the other part too. What I've what I've
heard more than once recently, is that the generation prior
(23:48):
to us are almost duplicating the generation before them and saying, Hey,
how I hurt, how I can't move? Who I feel
like whatever? It is like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. You complain about them
in that space, right, Do better, Like that's my mentality.
(24:12):
Do better if you already know that's what the situation is.
And or again, the other part of that is if
you think that that is, or maybe you haven't thought
of it. I know, I think about it. If it
is a family health concern, right, do better stop the
(24:33):
bad habits or whatever it is, you know, so and
change it, change change the narrative. Now, let's understand there's
some things that it's easier said than done. We understand
that part and we are totally aware. The challenge with
that is is that you can't always expect for others
(24:55):
to take on your challenges either. You can't do that.
That's not fair, especially in the position that we're in
right now of people are not doing the typical nine
to fives and or in or they're nine to fives,
are not the typical hours either. Like our daughter she
(25:19):
has a nine to five job. It's not nine to
five hours though, and at any given time, like she
just talked to us about it last night, she said,
oh gosh, if I was at work, I know I'll
be doing the sixteen just like this, you know, but
she's so used to it right now, of fluctuating between
(25:42):
an eight hour day and at sixteen hour day, she's
so used to that. Well in our reality when she's home,
do I.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
Have the opportunity to rely on her? In all honesty?
Speaker 3 (25:57):
How fair would that be for me to say, oh, wow,
baby girl, I'm all jacked up. Can you come help
me after you just work sixteen hours and you got
to turn around and go back to work. Yo, that's
not fair. So I have to be able to understand
that as of right now, especially I'm not our parents' age,
(26:17):
you know. But I have to prepare for that moving forward,
you know, of saying hey, in twenty five years or whatever,
I need to say, I've done these steps to get
to a better place. I was diagnosed with goal yes,
and so with that, I had to change my diet.
(26:39):
I had to understand that I can't eat as many
processed foods. I understood that I can't eat as many
shrimps as I would like. I can't eat as many
steaks as I would like, you know, Or lambs. I
can't eat as many lambs. You know. So while you
know I used to like mushrooms, I can't do mushrooms.
(26:59):
There's a lot of stuff that I can't eat because
what I've learned it is immediate blowup, blow up situations.
I'm making up words because that's how it felt. And
for those people that have had out have had out
flare ups, you totally understand where I'm coming from, because
(27:20):
it is not I mean, Confince saw me in those
moments of pain. Yes, it's not pretty, and I can't
get comfortable. I can feel it coming on. And I
remember when we went on a family trip. We was
at a family reunion, to a conference point of a
family reunion. The I remember that I had to take
(27:44):
my shoe off walking around Washington, d C. With my
shoe off because my toe was hurting, not knowingsed that's
prior to.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
Being diagnosed, but not knowing that's what was going on.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
And so I walking around DC, well, once you on,
once you are walking around with this, you know, with
my shoe on my hand, it was craziness, not knowing
that it was the the.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
Pre stuff going on. So you know, so so in
that is all right old school people pay attention to
what you're eating, please.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
And we just had that conversation with one of you know,
one of the parents and she was like the stuff
you know again, and Maurice was just sharing his experience
that hey, because he's been diagnosed with this, he can
no longer do that. And I don't know, you know,
it's because he's still in his forties, he can make
(28:49):
the decision to say that's what it is. Maybe those
over sixty almost seventy, in their seventies, you know, hey,
I've been doing it this long and whatever. Okay, Well
guess what. Maurice didn't have gout in his twenties, right,
you know what I mean, So he can't be like, well, doctor,
I always ate steak and you know, surf and turf,
(29:09):
and I never had a problem. So I don't understand.
And now I'm just going to continue to eat it.
Oh well, the doctor's going to say okay, and you'll
continue to be in pain, sir.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Right right, you know.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
So again to those who also are going through stuff, Hey,
ma'am sir, if you've been diagnosed with something and they're
telling you make these changes, perhaps make those changes, right
because it'll change things.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
And no one's saying to stop like you don't have
like it's not like I've stopped eating shrimp, right, you know?
And that right now, that is one of coffee and
I's favorite lunch on Fridays when she worked from home.
That is our that's our treat to ourselves, right, that's
our little quick midday lunch date. Yes, Bank Bang triump.
(30:04):
But excuse me, so again it's in moderation now it
doesn't happen every Friday. But but that's a midday treat. Hey.
You know what, as much as I as much as
I like steak, the beef that I might get the
most might be a cheese steak.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
I can't.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
I don't do too many ribbis and that whatever. But
when I do, I might do it once every two
or three months. I haven't had lamb because the last
time I had lamb, unfortunately immediately it was.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Immediate and it was so so sad, Oh my goodness,
because it was the holiday or something like that, like
we had for Christmas and we had made so much lamb.
We had it for the holiday, and we had some
wrapped up and and and for like to have later on.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Yeah, actually you know what it was. I bought it
for a Thanksgiving, okay, and then we were supposed to
have the second part of that.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
For Christmas something like that.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
I don't know, because I know I don't eat that much,
so I'm.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Like, all for New Year. I don't know. It's like,
you know, so we had you know, he had seasoned
it and whatever. We had wrapped some up to put
in the freezer or whatever to eat later. And I
remember saying to him, I'm like, what should I do
with this? You were like, just away, I can't eat it. So, yeah,
(31:37):
you make those tough decisions, you know, of what's what's
going to make things better and keep your health and
keep you safe, you know. And again again, like I've
been saying, this is the sandwich inderation. We do the
same thing with our kids. Hey what are you eating?
What's what's causing this? Like I think you were just
looking at somebody like, hey, you're breaking out, Like what's
going on?
Speaker 3 (31:57):
What are you eating?
Speaker 1 (31:57):
You know? And not to say that everything is coming
from what you eat, but a lot of times when
you put in your body does come back out, you
know what I mean. It doesn't always come out, you know, flushable.
Sometimes that's funny, that was my cute way of saying it.
I thought. So sometimes it comes back out in your
(32:19):
and your pores and your skin and your hair, you know,
so thank you. So yeah, so you know, we we're
we're paying attention to all of those things, and like
Maurice say, we're also being mindful and taking note so
that we don't cause issue to our kids, you know,
(32:40):
moving forward with as he said, hey, if if somebody
just worked to sixteen or we're not asking them to
drive us to the the hospital and sit with us.
But nor do we want to keep them in the dark,
because I think that's the other hurtful, heart hard part
that we have in this Sandwich generation. It's like, you know,
(33:01):
we'll talk to a parent and they'll be like, oh, yeah,
I fail four times last week and I can't move
my leg.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Well part of that too is that they don't want
to hear the questions though. Either they're like, well how
did you fall? Yes, why did you fall yourself down?
Speaker 1 (33:20):
How long were you laying there?
Speaker 3 (33:22):
I said, somebody to want somebody out there like why
are you working so hard?
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Right, I asked a question, you know, and so or Hey,
you know what, I'm just getting out the hospital. But
you know what, I'm gonna go and still eat, you know,
go out to eat dinner. Well, hey, does that make sense?
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Right?
Speaker 3 (33:41):
And what did they tell you to do? But you're
making a decision to go against that. Well, again, the
challenge is what do you want us to do? Because
if you have a problem, to some degree, you deserve it.
Maybe because if you don't listen, right, I mean, that
(34:02):
isn't that what happens when when we don't listen to God?
He punishes us to some degree? Right, it could feel
like he deserted us. He hasn't deserted us. It's just
that he gave us free will. Right.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
We made a decision that might have gone against his will,
and he was like, all right, you want to go
against it?
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Who guess what? Here's the consequence? Right, you know?
Speaker 4 (34:24):
And the reality is is that I don't have to
pull you out of that.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
That's not you know. And so sometimes I'm not saying
I have a God complex or nothing like that, but
it's like, did you not listen? What listens?
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Are you supposed to learn from this?
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Like?
Speaker 4 (34:44):
You do what I mean?
Speaker 3 (34:45):
And understand that sometimes it's not a situation of everybody's
not gonna always be there, you know? So how do
you take care of yourself when you have to be
there by yourself? Do you have to do in those situations?
Do you really, like, Lord, really please help me through
this process, help me through this situation? And I think
(35:08):
and that's kind of been my my perspective lately. Hey,
you know, are you leaning on the right places and spaces.
Are you leaning on the right source?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Well, sure enough, makes me lead on the right source
dealing with these things.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
But but see, but again it's why is that though, right?
Speaker 5 (35:29):
You know?
Speaker 4 (35:29):
Because are they not connected? Are they not whatever it is?
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Or do they you know, are people get so caught
up in meisms that they're not doing what they really
need to do for me? Right? Like in their mind
is hey, I'm gonna do this. But I understand that,
and I also in that space, No, it affects this
(35:57):
being you know, whatever the body or whatever it might be,
but I'm not ready to deal with that being the
long term or the true outcome. Well, don't do it
from the beginning then, and you can't expect for someone
else to jump up just because and that's been some
of the challenges and having people understand you got to
(36:22):
deal with that. And just because you saw some other
people in our lives call for you and you jumped
or whatever it is, it's not going to be the
same for everybody else after It's not and it can't
be because in our reality did you jump all the
(36:46):
time either? So that's so it's just kind of like,
you know.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
What stage, did you jump right? So you know, hey again,
if we're talking about those who are in their seventies,
when they were when their parents or their elders were
in the seventies, what was going on? You know, were
you still working where you're still you know, living your
(37:13):
best life?
Speaker 2 (37:14):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (37:15):
And you did things when you had time and availability,
not oh you called now I'm there. Now that may
have changed when the elder got into their eighties, nineties, hundreds.
You know, now you are now in your eighties or whatever,
(37:36):
and you have that time. You're no longer working, and
you can jump up and go and sit down and
have tea and soup together. You can ask questions, and
you can be an advocate because that person's now upper
(37:57):
and age. And you know, sometimes those that are in
the medical world, or you know, even other things like
if you and I've noticed this, like when I have
been a caregiver for someone who was in their eighties
or nineties, if I'm with them and they're going to
(38:18):
the doctors or they're going even to the supermarket, those
people who are in the customer service will address me
even though it's pertaining to that person. You know what
I mean, like they'll look at me and like, all right,
that's you know, forty seven dollars and sixty cents. I'm like, okay,
well they paying for it's their stuff, I don't you know.
(38:39):
Or the doctor will say things, you know, and they'll
look more at the younger person in the room. And
that has happened. So, you know, it just some of
the things that, like you said, where where I guess
my question is that you know, where were those individuals
that are now looking for that to happen?
Speaker 3 (39:03):
And I will let me let me tell you my
own experience based off or something that you just said,
and which is because it's like.
Speaker 4 (39:11):
Dealing with one of our family members where.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
They were more they were concentrating more on one issue
versus the issue while they're there, Yes, and so the
problem is it's like, well are you hearing what they're
you know, the customer service person or the medical person's
(39:37):
asking like is that computing?
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Like?
Speaker 3 (39:40):
So, so you're talking about something that's totally different, and
then you're getting frustrated because the service is being provided
it's not the service.
Speaker 4 (39:50):
That you want.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Well that's not what you said. Your problem was from
the very beginning.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
So and It may be because those people who are
providing the customer service and and the medical attention are younger,
so they kind of look like they give us that
eyeball like help me, like help translate you know what
I'm saying to your your care you know, you're you're
the person, you're caring for your family member, and it's
(40:18):
just like, hey, this that's what they're looking for. So
and then I can kind of remember what the situation
was that you're referring to. It's tough, you know, it's
tough for us being in the middle. It's tough for
those that are providing that customer service.
Speaker 4 (40:36):
I mean, because here's the thing. I'm sitting there, I'm
looking I'm like, oh wow, oh really.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Flip things around.
Speaker 3 (40:44):
So you're it's been brought to my attention that this
is an emergency and in this situation.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
You want to talk about something, you want.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
To talk about something totally different. And now it's like,
so it was in an emergency.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Then, and you've brought these people out, So what do.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
You want me to do? Now?
Speaker 1 (41:06):
What do you want them to do? Oh?
Speaker 3 (41:08):
No, I'm sorry, I was stuck on me. No I'm
saying because I was stuck on me because of like
you said, now I am in the middle between you
and the professionals. Yes, and so what do you want
me to do? I can't co sign your issue because
that's not what I was called for.
Speaker 4 (41:27):
I was called for.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
The main issue, which is which is what they were called.
That's why they were called.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
That's why the emergency was called.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
And now all of a sudden, we're here for something.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Else and you want me to be how we can't
get to like.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
You know, and I'm like, all right, so we need
to deal with that, like that's more urgent than the
other situations. But then also let's understand too, in all reality,
the urgent situation is also something that you won't deal with, right,
I mean, and this has been consistent across the board,
(42:08):
So we're not talking about one particular situation. It's it's
almost like our life. The last couple of weeks, it's
been the same situation across everybody.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yes, you know.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
So it's like the urgent issue or the emergent issue
cannot be handled because in our reality that situation is
based off of their life decisions. The other situation that
they're talking about or dealing with has nothing to do
with the urgent issue or the emergent issue, but they
(42:39):
won't deal with the real situation or things that led
up to the urgent issue in all honesty.
Speaker 4 (42:47):
So it's like, why are you.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
Not handling the real problem or the real culpriate to
your on going issue? Here is your problem?
Speaker 1 (43:04):
Is this?
Speaker 3 (43:05):
You don't want to deal with it?
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Why why can't you see that? Like you said, that
is the nucleus and everything else?
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Right, And so now again now you're frustrated because I'm
not I'm not responding. I'm not oh well again, I
don't have what's the phrase, no teeth for the fever mentality?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
You know.
Speaker 4 (43:33):
So I'm sorry, I come you know all these oh yeah,
you know, so all the.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
You know, hey, you know, I don't come off sympathetic
or whatever. No, because I'm listening to this logically, not emotionally.
Speaker 4 (43:50):
I don't.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Why would I have emotion and feel all sad and
bother whatever it is? Offer a decision that you made.
It's not my decision.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
It wasn't and and.
Speaker 3 (44:04):
And then you're frustrated because I'm not sad. I'm not saying,
oh what it's me or whatever it is? No, I don't.
I don't feel that way because if the shoe was
on the other foot, if the shoe was on the
other foot, yes, or you would be like oh and
(44:25):
keep talking about yourself, you can, you know. So, so
the problem is that it's no fun when the shoes
on the other foot.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
It's not Yeah, I don't like wearing my right shoe
on my left foot.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
Okay, somebody else's shoes on your foot, you know, because
people are not aware, you know, you know, and so
being stuck in the sandwich space because you know, the
seniors know way more than you. You'll never know as
much as the whatever it is, that's the mentality. And
(45:02):
the kids, you know, or the younger people are like, hey,
you don't know anything. I know it all.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
So it's like and see for me, some of my
seniors are well in some of yours as well. Well,
I don't know how to work that computer thing, and
I don't know how to find it out, and you
and Maurice y'all know so much, and you know, if
you could.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Just help me find So there is a situation where
it depends on who the person is, yes, because there
are some people that literally do not have a computer
I mean, and so for some of that I understand,
but they also have a library that they keep referring
(45:44):
to that is one hundred and eighteen years old, and
so the way things are handled today are nowhere near
how they handle it back in the Stone Age. So
they're not literally taking your prescriptions from the tree and
mashing it up on a rock like you know what
(46:04):
I mean, Like it's not it's not that basic anymore,
you know so or that strenuous, because that might be
a whole lot of you know whatever. But anyway, but
then those that are actually computer literate and it's on
a computer, you have every opportunity to do this exact
same thing. Or is it just pure laziness.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
That's why we have you guys.
Speaker 4 (46:30):
You don't have me, so you could do it yourself.
And here's the other part of that too.
Speaker 3 (46:36):
You're not gonna like my results because my results aren't
what you're looking for, because if you really had me, look,
I'm gonna look for what's best was uh, the best
interest for you, not just today but two or three
years from now. So and then you know, and they're like,
(46:56):
well that's not what I'm looking for, all right, Well,
look you look it up then, you know. So I
think those are some of the things where we're dealing
with being stuck in this sandwich spot, you know, and
the sandwiches ain't always good, you know, it's greasy. It's
like the other day we had a cheese steak, and
(47:18):
that's the only reason I brought up the whole cheese
stat thing earlier. We had cheese seak the other day
and it was nowhere near what I wanted it to be.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
Yeah, it was more like I so again from Philly.
Speaker 3 (47:36):
You know, everyone has their their preference and there are
times where I want a cheese steak hogy, right, So
that's what I had at cheese steak hogy, and it
was more lettuce and onion on it and hot peppers.
Like I asked for sweet peppers.
Speaker 4 (47:56):
It wasn't. I don't know if I had one sweet
pepper at all. And then the.
Speaker 3 (48:01):
Steak, i'llbeit it was tasty, but there was nothing a
whole lot to taste. So I was savoring that one
little bite that I could with the steak in the
bread or whatever, because everything else was solid. Now evidently
I would there was some great bean that said, ma, race,
you need to eat more green vegetables or something, you know.
(48:24):
So maybe that's what I needed to have, But it
wasn't what I anticipated.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Yeah, no, it wasn't. We have this thing where we
just keep trying different places, Like we don't have a
one go to all the time, Like we have a
good go to Philly cheese steak place. Like if someone
says to us or you know, someone from out of town,
it's like, oh, I want to Philadelphia cheese and be like,
first of all, it was a Philly cheese steak, you know,
(48:50):
so we have a place to go to. The line
is long, the wait is long, they don't answer the phone.
You have to go in person. You might even not
even be able to stand inside, like it's that crowded.
You got to stand outside, sit in your car, wait
forever to get it. But when you get it, it's
like and it's overflowing and throwing the cheese. Everything kind
(49:15):
of melts together. Like I don't want to like one
bite have onions, like Marie said, and then another bite
have a steak, and then another bite. It's just a
cheese sandwich. I need all that to like go together.
I needed to know that it marinated together. It lives together.
It wants to be together, just like in a relationship,
(49:36):
it all needs to be together. So we keep trying
different places, and we need to stop because we just.
Speaker 3 (49:48):
We just haven't been happy with the places are just
kind of like, hey, you know, we're trying it, or
we're lazy or whatever it might have been. Don't feel
like drop. And here's the thing. The other day when
we got the cheese steak, I was supposed to be
walking because it's walking distance. I still drove right because
I was like, I don't made.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
Us choose that place. And it's because it's places we
don't frequent. We don't you know, they could have changed
the cook and maybe the last time we had it
it was okay, but this time is like, I mean,
it wasn't it was.
Speaker 3 (50:19):
It was good from a taste perspective, it just wasn't
what I because of the other place that we've been frequenting.
Speaker 1 (50:27):
You know, I'm like, ah, we get our mouths. I
think a little bit set for that.
Speaker 4 (50:31):
Yeah we did, but yeah, I disappointed myself.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
Yeah yet again. And we kind of do a cheese
stake thing maybe once a month, once every other month.
So I think the time before we did the same thing.
We didn't feel like waiting and yeah, we yeah, we
kicked ourselves for that as well.
Speaker 3 (50:47):
Sometimes other people choose yeah, because I say that one
was not necessarily our it was Hey, you know, we
allowed one of the children to make a decision, and
you know, I'm like, oh, wow, we used to go
to that place before.
Speaker 1 (51:00):
But they didn't even get a cheese steak. They didn't
so yeah, that should have been that should have been
right there. Yeah, you know, even when we did the steaks, Yeah,
he didn't even get The other person didn't get a stick.
They got a pizza and enjoyed it.
Speaker 3 (51:18):
So yeah, so yeah, so but you know, that's what
it's like to be in this sandwich space. Sometimes you
enjoy it and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you understand, like, hey,
I need to continue to go this right path, this
path because you know, and part of it is comfortability,
you know, but it's also the the experience as well,
(51:39):
you know. So, but we thank you very much for
listening and let us know how you know what your
life is like if you're in a sandwich position, and
if you know you're dealing with both the seiors of
your family and the the young people of your family,
if you're dealing with how are you.
Speaker 4 (52:00):
Dealing with it.
Speaker 1 (52:02):
And what you're doing to get through because it.
Speaker 3 (52:05):
Was given a huge challenges like it's given me right now,
just like I gave Coffer is shoot.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
Just thinking about we're coughing. The show is a sandwich
pretty much cough in the beginning and couldn't get it
together and mass coughing and can't get it together.
Speaker 3 (52:19):
So well.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
We thank you' all very much, Thank you so so
much for listening.
Speaker 5 (52:23):
To you, Thanks for tuning in to another episode of
a No Fruit podcast where we bring you fruitful conversations,
ripen wisdom and love that's deeply rooted. If you enjoyed
this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review,
and share it with someone who could use a little
inspiration in their death. Until next time, stay rooted in
love and remember every seed you plant today shapes the
(52:43):
fruit of tomorrow.
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