From Sidelines to Center Stage | S7E69 - The No Fruit Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, y'all, thank you very much for listening to the
No Fruit Podcast. I have a question from y'all for
y'all from the sidelines to center stage. What did y'all
learn in your kids' activities as they were growing up?
Let's talk about it right after this.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Let's talk about loving the man, the way of God
intent like expeerience share from Transfort.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
Hey, y'all, what's going on?

Speaker 1 (00:47):
So you heard the question, you know about what the
idea from the sidelines to center stage just some of
the things that we learned and dealing with our kids
and some of their activity. So for myself, I learned

(01:08):
that first and foremost kind of what I really wanted
as a kid. I wanted my mom to be a
little more active, to be a part. But again, you know,
y'all herds talk about, hey, you know, survival mode and

(01:30):
you know, paycheck to paycheck or.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
Whatever it might have been, and that was not always
on the forefront on my mom's mind. And to be honest.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Because of that, it wasn't always necessary in my forefront
either as a parent. You know, it wasn't until Confa
said something about home and school. I think Conpa says
something then the school says something or vice versa. But
it seemed like for me when the kids werementary school

(02:00):
is kind of like back to back.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
Or whatever.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
And then I think Confe had wanted to be a
part of it. I mean, even through them being in
high school conf doing after school or after prom stuff
or whatever it might have been.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
And so.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Again it's those things where you're kind of like, hey,
I wish my parent was in the same position with
my I wish my parent did do that, you know,
when we had moments when we talk about sidelines. Hey,
y'all know that we coached I coached basketball, I coached football,
you know, with both our children, and so I had

(02:39):
the opportunity to be around them in multiple places and
levels and actually able to see them grow and mature
whatever it is. So there are some things that I
learned that I kind of like, Hey, I wish my parent.

Speaker 4 (02:54):
Was there.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
For me.

Speaker 5 (02:57):
I'm coming from a different point of view, not from
a point of view, So I learned a lot about First,
the first thing that came to mind when you said
the question was how crazy parents are, how crazy they
are for their kids, how they go hard for their kids,

(03:18):
how they will argue you down as a coach, you know,
and you know them not knowing the system but coming
at you like they do. Then I learned a lot
about the system, whether it was coaching and all of

(03:38):
the layers that went along with that and that entity,
and then what their parent was, and it was a
lot you know, or an organization. So it is strictly
it is a nonprofit organization, but when somebody's you know,
when you see the signs that says join up for

(03:59):
you know, flag football, when you see the science and say,
you know, youth league, sign up now like you as
a parent, I'm not thinking about all of the intricacies
that goes into making that happen, and not just to
sign up, but how to even make it go from
sign up to championship or you know, end of year,

(04:23):
end of season banquet. I didn't understand all of that,
but being a coach and being active in it was
so opening for me, and likewise to then say, hey,
center stage, what that was like to be a part
of the Home and School Association and again all of

(04:47):
the intricacies that it takes not only for the Home
and School Association and how we're trying to help the
school be better for the kids, and how the school
can be better for the commune unity, you know, because
that was the thing I heard as a as a
high schooler that a lot of people on my block

(05:11):
in high school was like, why I pay so much
for taxes? I don't even have any kids in this
school district. So once I became once our kids got older,
I wanted to make sure that the community understood what
their taxes were going towards, you know, so that it
wasn't like, well, why do I pay again thousands of

(05:31):
dollars in taxes out here in the county. Other counties
may be different, and then I'm not. They felt it,
so they weren't reaping any benefit from it. Especially for
when our kids were going to school, the majority of
the school was filled with students who were busted from

(05:52):
outside of our town. So again our neighbors were like, wow,
why do we pay so much and we're not even
fillling up to school. There was talks about you.

Speaker 4 (06:08):
Mergers, mergers, cutting, you.

Speaker 5 (06:10):
Know, closing the school down, and all of those things.
So what did I learn from all of that is
that there's so much more to it than just you know,
your kid running a football there's so much more to
it than the kid, you know, jumping in and playing
basket like.

Speaker 4 (06:27):
There's so much more.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
To it, I mean, and some of that is now
we're only coming from a real uh I know, we're
coming from multiple different ways because if you hear the
statement of sidelines to center stage. Well, I don't know
how many of y'all know, but our kids did some
acting too, right, And so you know, because of my

(06:51):
connections with some producers and directors whatever it is, I mean,
my kids are in some short films, you know, And
so sort of reality is is that we have brought
in our children's.

Speaker 5 (07:08):
Scope, right, And it went to the degree where even
our son had gone to college at once, but you know,
and for film and media arts because he wanted to
be behind the camera. He liked that, I guess, and
but didn't want to be in front of the camera.
So that experience that Maurice had provided to him was great.

(07:31):
And he had wanted to do that and had been
in some high school clubs, tech club and things like
that where he was behind the camera, in the soundboard,
all of those things, and he wanted to do that
where he even himself had directed and had to put
together a small film as one of his college in
his college and for one of his projects. So you know,

(07:54):
like Maurice is saying that the kids are well versed
in that because of things that we provided for them.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
I mean. And so.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
When it comes to it, when you talked about the
parents going hard for their kids, yes, but I think
in that they're in them going hard for the kids. Yes,
some of it is I want the best for them, yes,

(08:28):
but there are some where it's really like I really
want the.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
Best for me.

Speaker 5 (08:31):
Right when we had some parents that told us like, look,
this kid is not ticket out of this right neighborhood, right,
you know, so you have to play my kid and
you have to make sure that they're practicing hard because
I need them to get to this type of school
so they can get to professionals.

Speaker 3 (08:51):
Right. And now here's the problem with that. We understand that.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
All kids don't get that experience and understand that even
certain clubs or or when I say clubs, I'm talking
about teams and or their team name whatever it is,
you know, wherever they're located, whatever it might be, and

(09:19):
our and I'll speak based off of as I say
to y'all y'all know that I coached little league football,
and so in my estimation for where the football team
that I coached there were, we had some challenges in
actually winning games. And some of that is because of

(09:42):
what we were and in some cases undersized, so we
were little, and the players so the players were undersized,
and the and we're not as athletic, didn't have enough
speed or whatever it might have been. And so when

(10:03):
we were and then the fact that where that particular
team was, it was surrounded almost literally by a whole
bunch of other teams literally, whereas where some teams that
we played were in a whole nother part of the
county where they were literally isolated in our league. So basically,

(10:25):
when they recruited kids and kids played for that team,
they only had kids that was part of that team,
so they were able to recruit kids of a different caliber.
Also because it was so few of them of those
teams out there, that hey, you know what, I can
have the same age.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
Group let's let's say nine ten year olds.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
We can have three to five teams with number nine
year olds because we're the only team here. So guess
what that means that out of those as everybody knows
you need eleven players on the team, right, you know
at least, well you need more than that, but you know,

(11:11):
because you need four or five as.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
Backups.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
So let's say, but let's just use ten as a
round number, well round number, so that means you have
at least fifty kids trying out for the team or teams.
That means that now I get to pick and choose
who are literally the best out of every group, out
of every lineman, defensive linemen, linebacker, and I could create

(11:38):
my super team and guess what that type of team
won the championship felt like all the time, almost all
the time. And then I just looked at them recently
and they changed leagues and they won't even in that league,
because again, it could feel like a super team versus

(11:59):
being in a more condensed area, right, and uh, you're competing,
So now you have all right, if I go over
to this team over here, well they're a little bit bigger,
they're a little stronger. So so it doesn't necessarily mean
that the coaches are any different, right, but the or

(12:22):
the coaching is different, even though it is because of
personalities and all that type of stuff. But but the
the type of players. Also the schools they they attended
as well. Say, you know what, all these Catholic school kids,
they ended up going over here to this particular you know,

(12:42):
uh team over here or technically you know, my kids
grew up with them, but they go to school over here.
But I'm gonna keep them with their techn you know,
their real friends or whatever. So again, we I learned
a whole lot of not just hey, you know, I
need them to be my meal ticket, but it's also hey,

(13:03):
I'm trying to make sure that they're comfortable and or
they have the other opportunities that I didn't have. Like
you said, win a championship, but yo, you know you
go and be a part of that team that you know,
that's all they do all day every day. Yeah, better opportunity, right, Yeah,
and guess what now that means that my kid is

(13:25):
moving up to another level, even though they may not
make the team. But the way they practice, the way
they teach football, whatever it is, is a whole nother lifestyle,
and it's.

Speaker 5 (13:36):
A lot different than what we grew up with. You know, No,
I didn't play sports as a youngster, but I did
participate in other extra you know, extra you know, activities
outside of school. They were school based. They were held
in the school, but they were you know, outside of
you know, regular educational activities. So those times and the

(14:05):
people who were active in it and whatever, it was
a lot different than what it was once I got
older as an adult and I became a parent, Like,
I didn't see a lot of parent participation in my
after school activities when I was growing up. The teachers
were there. The teachers led my after school activities. When

(14:27):
I learned how to crochet, my teacher led it. When
I learned, you know, and did after school. The theater
that was led by the teaching staff, music class, the
glee clubs, the concerts, all those things were led by
our teaching staff and things like that or teachers assistants

(14:49):
or whatever else they had in the school. It wasn't
a lot of that. I saw a lot of things
that were led by our parents. Even like girl Scouts,
it wasn't you know, sometimes it started in school. I

(15:09):
think the first meeting I went to was in school.
I think we eventually, you know, I think went to
having meetings outside of the school, But a lot of
those things were school based, and it was a lot
of it was started with a faculty, you know, or
a teacher in the school where a lot of things

(15:31):
I think once we became parents and I became a parent,
a lot of things were parent led or it was
more of a collaboration with the teaching staff. And I
can't say like it was taught by a parent, but
when we had some of the activities, I can still say, like,

(15:54):
you know, parents were very very active in those things.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
I think that was a culture slash community difference difference.

Speaker 4 (16:03):
Yeah, that's what I'm getting it.

Speaker 5 (16:04):
I think, you know, no, no knock on where we
grew up in the school district. We grew up in
being Philadelphia, like I still to this day, and I
need to ask more people. I don't know many people
who have kids in the school the Phillipia School District,
But is there a PTO there?

Speaker 4 (16:20):
Do they have to raise funds?

Speaker 5 (16:22):
Like when we were coming up and raising our kids
in elementary school, Like it was no issue for me
to tell my boss like, oh I have to leave
early because I have to go do this after school
program thing. They were like, oh yeah, I have to
do the same thing.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
Let's see.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
I think again, I think it's a community situation because
if you really think about it, though.

Speaker 5 (16:41):
And I'm saying for you, you may have had an
issue trying to tell your people at work that you
have to go do something for school because they were
like why.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Because of they were not active right and or people
didn't necessay care, you know. And so for me to
sit here and say to anybody I coached kids one,
they were like, all right, Maurice, you're special, you know.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
For one.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
But then number two, because I wasn't in corporate America
when I coached the people that I was around, I
e when I I think I was. I think I
kind of started right before or during the time I
was a church administrator.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
Well here's the thing though, the pastor was a coach, yes.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
You know, and so when people knew that I coached too,
they were like, oh wow, like you're you know, you're
special or whatever it is.

Speaker 3 (17:38):
You're different. So I didn't have the.

Speaker 1 (17:42):
Uh, the individuals that were like oh no, I would
never you know, vibe because I didn't have that mentality.
And the pastor he was like, no, go ahead and
do it, like, you know, make it happen. And he
came to the game and you know, whatever, you know,
so again that's the difference of being in a situation

(18:02):
where people cared about the kids. But also again, you
and I grew up in inner city, our kids did not.

Speaker 5 (18:12):
And you know, maybe that's where the big difference is
that we're speaking of, you know, of what things have
we learned through these you know, parenting, through these activities
that we've had, because it has been such a learning
thing because we didn't have that when we were younger,
you know what I mean. So all of these things

(18:34):
are new and like you said, hey, these are things
that you want, but how you wanted your parents to participate.

Speaker 4 (18:40):
But new to whom it's new to us.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Okay, yeah, because I'm because I'm I'm saying that because
by the time we got to the elementary school where
the kids were again, that was already a practice, right,
the challenge was and all right, so and I'm gonna
look at it from this personerspective, and this is where
I think the difference of living in the inner city

(19:06):
versus those that were actually really in the suburbs itself, right,
because even it's the ideas because even though the school
that our kids attended for elementary school, a lot of
them were busted, and a lot of those kids lived
in the county quote unquote, but still had an inner

(19:27):
city mentality. Because those that were actually living in the
suburb mentality, those parents were active. Those who were just
in the county but still had an inner city lifestyle,
they were not involved.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
Correct, there was truth.

Speaker 5 (19:42):
It was noted by the principal, that was noted by
many people that there was a distinct difference, and they
knew and it happened all the time. And you know,
I was thinking when you were speaking of some of
the other differences between us up versus when our kids
were growing up again home and school, not home school,

(20:04):
but parent teacher conferences, you know. So the parent the
teacher would always say like, oh, we know you're going
to be here, right, you know what.

Speaker 3 (20:11):
I mean, We don't have no problems, have no.

Speaker 4 (20:13):
Problems with y'all.

Speaker 5 (20:14):
So it became the point where it's like y'all again,
you know, no, not even that, it's like you want
to help serve cookies and juice. So the parents that
do come, like, you know, what can we do to
to to to help people come to to parent teacher conferences.
So again, I think some of the differences also are well,

(20:36):
when are they offered?

Speaker 4 (20:38):
You know, I don't.

Speaker 5 (20:39):
Recall parent teacher conferences being offered in the evening when
I was young.

Speaker 4 (20:45):
I mean, but they do you remember having them?

Speaker 1 (20:47):
Not not in the evening, but even when our kids
were in elementary school, I don't think it was in
the evening either. I think it was during the day.

Speaker 4 (20:56):
I think there were I think that may have been
an option.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
I don't recall because I remember going during the day.

Speaker 5 (21:02):
Yeah, I mean right, but like you said, you know
a lot of that you were in a corporate position,
so you could make that right, weigle room to make
it happen.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
But I also believe that again, was it let's start
oft even just with the beginning of the year back
to school night.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
Yes, were you there? Yes? Right?

Speaker 1 (21:25):
And so so the reality is is that even if
even if you did not go to all the report
card meetings one, that didn't mean that you didn't tend none.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
You did.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
I mean, if there were three, you might have been
at two. You know, because of the jobs that you had,
you can have flexibility whatever it is.

Speaker 5 (21:46):
And again it's some of that. Let's make it clear
that because of all the activities they were in. You know,
one month, it might be a hey, we're singing Christmas
care girls.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
The next you know you would attend.

Speaker 5 (22:02):
I wouldttend that, and then the next thing the award show.
Then hey, we're going to hang the essays on the
wall and the kids are going to stand next to
them and take pictures. And then the same month is
parent teacher conference. I can't be all of those and
then blacks and whack.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
So, like you said, so now you got to pick
and choose. So no, you did not attend every single thing.
But here's the reality. I didn't attend every single thing either,
because you and I kind of bounce back and forth,
you know, And so I think what happens is is
that one, as you stated, jobs are not always friendly

(22:43):
to to the to the parent child situation.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
And I think some of that too hurts in.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
The because of that child parents, you know relationship that
now you have governmental challenges where they're like, hey, well we.

Speaker 3 (23:05):
Own your child, not you per se.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
Well, it's like, well, if I could get off of work,
if these rules weren't in place or whatever it is,
I could be there for the kid, if I can
take off and not worry about because guess what. They
may not be the healthiest little kid. Well, here's the problem.
They're not the healthiest because I don't have a lot
of money, and I got to buy junk food, junkie

(23:31):
type food versus the real healthy food, you know, which again.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
Hurts through.

Speaker 5 (23:38):
So many things that you know go into that you know.
You know, So now I have you know, five kids,
we only had two. Well it means I was able
and you were able to take that time. They were
closer in age, they were at the same school most
of the time, so it wasn't like, oh, I have
to go over here and go over here. We had
a car so we can get there from work to
the appointment at three o'clock versus oh, now I got

(24:00):
to get on four buses and try to get there
by three.

Speaker 4 (24:04):
So, yes, there's a whole lot of other.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
Things, so many factors that.

Speaker 5 (24:07):
You know, we have to think about what we're talking about,
our experience and how that we look back upon it.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
And I'm going to tell y'all because again, if you're
a fan of the show, you know, I like to
look at all these lost stories on YouTube, all these
court stories. So I listen to how the state is
managing the relationship and doesn't matter whether it's a father
or a mother. It doesn't really matters how they are

(24:37):
managing the relationship between a parent and a child.

Speaker 3 (24:40):
But you can't.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
It's like it's never really taking consideration what is the
parent's real availability? So if they can't, So if you're
unable to attend a meeting for your child, yes, do
you really can?

Speaker 3 (24:59):
You really say? All right, well, it's court mandated.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
But if I call out one more time, if I
take off one more time, I'm gonna get fired. So
wish was more important for me to keep my job
so we can at least have a roof over our head,
or for me to get you know, be in court.

Speaker 5 (25:13):
So how do I for me to have a job
and look like I'm a good parent and I'm able
to hold down the job?

Speaker 3 (25:21):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 (25:22):
You know, because if I don't, then you're gonna look
down upon me because oh no, you don't have a job.

Speaker 4 (25:26):
Right Well, it's because you.

Speaker 5 (25:27):
Keep calling me in the court during hours right where
I need to be at work. You know they're only
gonna be but oh so flexible. And it's one thing
to have a meeting for court but then okay, I
went to court. Now my kid two days later is
upset because we had a court meeting.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
But then the other part is, now here is something
that we talk about as a whole. The whole point
is is communication. Yes, so you can't procrastinate, you can't.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Delay things or whatever it is. You need to be
on top of and speak up and say, hey, I
can't do this, I can't do that, I'm not available.
How can we maneuver this? Can I have another time?
Whatever it is? You know, do that because I also
understand that, Hey, you know what, I worked a long
day and all I want to do is, you know,

(26:24):
just have some peace and quiet. Well I get that part,
But then there's the other part of what impact is
it making on your child, especially if you want that child,
which if y'all listen to some other shows or whatever
it is, I want that child to take care of
me when I get older, you know, you know, so
you know so now now I want them to have
that great you know memory or me like, hey, well

(26:46):
my parents did this.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
You know I can return the favor at least somewhat. Yes,
you know.

Speaker 5 (26:52):
So, So my question to you is would you have
felt I mean, you said in the beginning of the
show that you wish your mother would have been active
or you know, present in some of the activities that
you participated in, whether it was football, whether it's you know,
a concert, whatever it was that you did, you were
part of the art club, if you wanted her to

(27:14):
be there, if she would have asked you, you.

Speaker 4 (27:18):
Know, Maurice, Hey, how did it go? Would that have
eased it a.

Speaker 5 (27:21):
Little bit better with her? I'm just trying to figure out,
like in reference to those parents that are out there
that can't physically be be present because hey, I can't
come to the show because I have you know, four
other siblings that I have to take care of if
I can't slug them all there.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
So you know, wait, I think there's some some differences
now versus then. And here's what I mean by that.
If and I don't recall if my mom had a
relationship with any other parents in my class, I don't recall.

Speaker 3 (27:59):
Now.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
The reality is is that because I more or less
went to our neighborhood school, I knew, you know, my
mom knew the parents that lived on my block where
I'm in the same class as their kids. So and
I don't know if my mom ever had a conversation
with those parents, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (28:22):
But here's what I will say versus today.

Speaker 1 (28:26):
For me, if I was unavailable, all right, little Reese,
do you know who taped it? Because somebody did, somebody
somewhere did, we could almost guarantee it.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
So whose parent was that?

Speaker 1 (28:46):
And at least I understand that that parent is probably
concentrated solely on their kids. Yes, but I would definitely
me personally, I would look for that parent where their
last name is close to yours, because in that way,
if it's before their kid, if you're before their kid,
they at least get watching you walk across the stage,

(29:07):
because they're anticipating their kid, right, So you're either coming off,
going on, whatever it might be. If they're before you,
they can see you as they're watching their kid leave off,
you're walking up whatever it might be. So there are
some ways you could kind of play around with that
versus someone taping just literally the whole thing. And so

(29:27):
I would want to show some type of interest. What
I'm getting at is showing some type of interest in
what they've done, how they accomplish it, whatever it is.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
Even if I could not be there.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
I would like to have that type of relationship with
someone else's parents where we cool, you know, and.

Speaker 3 (29:47):
Give you an example of my son. He had.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
Not my daughter so much, but it was my son
where the other guys that he was with, their fathers
would come. I don't recall any fathers really going when
I will usually go into trips with my daughter. But
when my son and they had trips, it used to
be a group of us, like a good four anywhere

(30:13):
between three to five of us. It would be the
same dance all the time, and we would be sitting
there busting up, cracking up, throwing pop whatever.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
Whatever we did. We can't tell all of it. What
stays on the bus stays on the bus. You know,
what happens to the bus, stay on the bus y'all.
So the reality is.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
I had a relationship with those fathers that if anything
were to go down, anything would happen, whatever it was,
we were able to handle it. Now, let me go
back to the daughter the daughter had. There was one
person where both her parents were active, just like us,

(30:58):
where I could talk to the father. No, no, no,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It was two, It was two,
two families and so if there was something going on,
they watched out for us, we watched out for them.

Speaker 3 (31:10):
Right, just so happened. Our girls were good, you know,
relatively good, So it was a whole lot of issue.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
But we were cool enough that if something was going down,
we had it, especially with me being able to be
there during the day. You know, other stuff could be
done until spoken about. I could follow up whatever might
have been. And we're cool till today, right, you know.
And so the reality is is that you don't want

(31:37):
to you want to be aware of one of relationships.

Speaker 2 (31:42):
I e.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
If you're listening, I'm saying the fathers, right, I'm not
talking about being cool with somebody's mom. I don't want
to cross those those crazy lines, whatever it might have been.
And so understand what those relationships could be, or building
up a relationship, a parent teacher relationship where hey, now,
just so happened. One of the teachers for our kids

(32:06):
was in the church denomination that we grew up in,
so we could laugh and joke about that, talk about
choirs or whatever. So there was some other type of
things kind of going on. And she was one that
really helped us in in some ways from a teacher
perspective navigate the system. There was one thing of doing

(32:28):
para teacher vibe. There was another navigating through the teacher
herself who was like, yo, you know, we got this.
And then eventually there were two other support teachers in
the school that I knew from a church situation and
then another one where fraternity situation. Then because of that

(32:51):
as well, I started talking to the principal a little
bit more, because I talked to the principal about doing
other after school type programs and what I did some
proposal or whatever it might have been. So the reality
is is that if you become that parent that you
want it, you know, to see things happen or whatever
it is. I'm gonna be honest with you. Uh, your

(33:16):
kid might get some passes. They might get free passes
Dorney Park or something.

Speaker 5 (33:23):
I mean, I think there's you know, again, with you
being active, like I said from the top of the show,
you're going to learn a whole lot about the intricacies
of the organization, right you know, as Maurice just said,
will that lead to some freebies?

Speaker 6 (33:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (33:39):
It will. I might even gonna say it it might.

Speaker 5 (33:41):
It will because you're leading the charge or could be
leading the charge or you're next to the person who's
leading the charge in certain things. So yeah, it could
have some freebies because you'll understand the system a little
bit more and understand it. Yes, people do support schools
and things are handed out, and sometimes it's not enough

(34:04):
things to be handed out to all five hundred kids
in the school or however many kids you may have,
or all twenty thirty kids that are in the class.
So those certain people who go extra and go give
a little bit more, sometimes they're looked at differently, and
there's you know, it happens, right, So but then there're

(34:28):
the just people who are in need and that those
get it.

Speaker 4 (34:30):
Those who are in need get it.

Speaker 5 (34:32):
So definitely have learned so so much from is some
say living vicariously through our kids or right right right
being a part of their things.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
Like you know, so.

Speaker 5 (34:48):
I guess all the school trips that you didn't go
on as a youngster, you got to go on them
as an adult.

Speaker 3 (34:54):
I mean, I mean they weren't the same trips, but yeah,
I'm went quite a few trips.

Speaker 5 (34:59):
Yes, you know, you got to sit on the back
of the bus and and cut up because you didn't
do it as a youngster.

Speaker 3 (35:04):
So I mean I did well, No, not the way
I did is aparent nowhere there right right.

Speaker 4 (35:10):
Likewise, you know, I got to do a lot of things.

Speaker 5 (35:15):
Differently as as an adult than I did as a
as a I mean, because I have to.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
Say that.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
Being that parent that made a difference in those kids'
lives at the early age. When they see me now,
it's major respect. You know, Hey, I remember when you
brought me candy at the store and you were the
cool dad, and you know, because we had groups, you know,

(35:46):
and certain parents were able to manage their group by themselves,
you know, and I just was so be designated like that.

Speaker 5 (35:55):
I mean, it goes that way not only just for
the home and school and being a part of the
school system as a volunteer, but also even as you said,
with our sports teams that we volunteered with. Like I
see people in our local store and are like still
coach k you know, so I'm like, oh my gosh,
what And then then it'll come to me or whatever.

(36:17):
I'll see their parents in the store and it's just like,
you know, we're old you know, cousins, and it's like
you know, you're catching up like lot of kids doing
what they doing one, you know, and just to kind
of hear their stories and what's going on, and then
what's going on with our kids, and you know, you're
proud because their kids are doing well, and then they're

(36:39):
proud because our kids are doing well, like you know.
So it's just great to have that extension of the family,
you know what I mean that, And we know that
it takes an entire village to raise a child, and
you know, just like in this podcast, we're sharing our
stories and letting never let people know that it is
not always easy and that you have ups and downs,

(37:02):
and it's just great to be able to to bump
into somebody sometimes in the market and share.

Speaker 4 (37:08):
What's going on.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (37:10):
So I think it's been so so much that I've
learned from the sidelines, just you know, from being a
team mom and or just not doing anything at all
and just kind of watching things happen and then to
be like again center stage and running things.

Speaker 4 (37:33):
Learned a lot, learned a whole lot, learned a whole lot.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
So and so tell us what your stories have been,
because we've been a little bit of everything. Yes, you know,
we've been leading stuff as conference said, being center stage,
we've fallen back being on the sideline.

Speaker 3 (37:51):
We've even been invisible, you know. And so I don't
want to get it wrong or twisted that.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
Hey, you know, with y'all have such great parents and
y'all such an example that y'all have been to everything.

Speaker 3 (38:04):
We have not.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
We have not done everything, you know, perfectly, I mean,
were we there and more often than not, yes, but
that's because of what we wanted. Did we get or
did I get jammed up for leaving early? As confidence said,

(38:27):
as well, I did when I worked for Corporate American
and I had to go pick up our son because
he was jacking up in preschool?

Speaker 3 (38:34):
Did I?

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Oh, I most definitely did, right where he was about
to get kicked out and all that type of stuff. Again,
you do what you gotta deal with. I didn't care
enough about the job, you know, unfortunately where I'm like
fire me, you know what I mean, I didn't, you know,
I didn't. I didn't care that much because I wanted

(38:55):
to make sure that my kid was okay. But here's
the other part too. While I was at work, I
was at work, I was there. I made a difference
there too. Yes, you know now again, did I do
anything perfect. I didn't do everything perfect, but I was present,
you know, So I wasn't lollygagging or whatever.

Speaker 5 (39:16):
It was so.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
Not to the point where I could have like, you
know whatever. But because again, everybody's not perfect. Everybody has
bad days, everybody has off days. Everybody has that situation
where I really don't feel like being here right, you
know so, so I don't want to get that twisted either,
But I just want to make sure that y'all understand, like, hey,
I don't care if you're on the sideline, I don't

(39:40):
care if you're a center stage. It doesn't matter which
way you are, you know where you are.

Speaker 3 (39:44):
Just be present.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
That's one of the things I've learned, and I really
want to take away from being in this place now
because in all reality, the only reason why we're talking
about this is because I had a reminiscence. I mean,
not reminiscent. It's called reminiscence. That's not carminis when you
have a when you reminded of the past.

Speaker 3 (40:08):
Yeah I can't. I don't know why. My brain just
had a brain fart whatever it was.

Speaker 1 (40:12):
But when you are reflecting on the past, I said
wow cough, we will be like the coach again.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
But the reality is I like my life. I like
the freedom right now.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
I'm enjoying the space that we're in and I can
kind of sit back and be like, oh, I remember
those days when I.

Speaker 3 (40:36):
Look at the Facebook page.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
Now I look at the little little feast just moving
going nowhere, like you know, I just remember those days,
you know.

Speaker 3 (40:45):
But the reality is that.

Speaker 1 (40:50):
Enjoy the time that you have because before you know it,
they're older and they don't really they don't remember half
of the stuff that they did, just like my kids don't.

Speaker 3 (41:01):
There they're like, oh I did that, Yeah you did.
But it is what it is, yes, so.

Speaker 5 (41:10):
Yeah, So thank you all so so much for listening
to today's episode. Again, please share your thoughts on how
you are dealing with being on the sideline so that's
where you are, or if you're center stage and you're
leading the whole peg, let us know what it's like
because it'll help us from this or think back or whatever.

(41:31):
Murray you're just trying to say. But until next time,
thank you so much for listening, and we'll talk to y'all.

Speaker 4 (41:38):
Hie e pease.

Speaker 6 (41:40):
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of a No
Fruit podcast, where we bring you fruitful conversations ripen wisdom
and love that's deeply rooted. If you enjoyed this episode,
don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share
it with someone who could use a little inspiration in
their death. Until next time, stay rooted in love and
remember every seed you plant today shapes the fruit of tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
Better take an ax.

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From Sidelines to Center Stage | S7E69

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}From Sidelines to Center Stage | S7E69