Happy 25th Anniversary Maurice & Kafi | S7E62 - The No Fruit Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Today is a different type of show. Today is the
actual twenty fifth anniversary.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah, for.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Papa and my race. We want to know are you
all excited for us? We want to know are you
happy for us? I want to know are you all
ready to party? I'm sorry, I'm just button happy right now.

(00:47):
We're not going to do the intro today, not the
official intro, or should we do? You think we should?
Just for old times sake?

Speaker 3 (00:56):
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of the No
Fruit Podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yeah, that's all we want to do. Just you know,
thank you for tuning in today because there's nothing else
that you'all need to know. You're here with us, you
tuned in for this purpose today. So the reality is
is that it's our twenty fifth anniversary today, and we
have been through ups and downs, roundabouts. We have been

(01:22):
dragged through the mud, run a munk, what's the whole freak?
But there's a lot of things that we've We've been
through a lot of things that we've learned, a lot
of things that we've experienced, and we're still here to
tell the story.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yes, survived.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Where what's the song?

Speaker 3 (01:47):
So?

Speaker 1 (01:48):
I don't know, oh something, I'm still a lot I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yes, all the songs.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
We have.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Many many days, many many years, weeks, months, hours, minutes,
seconds of experience of being married, being together, and as
Marie said, there's been some ups, lots of ups, and
some downs, some roller coaster rides, twisted turns, swings, but

(02:21):
it's all a blessings, all joy I mean, yes, but
we're here and we're happy and so happy to share.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
Happier you know, and clap your hands. I didn't want
to clap, I know.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
So, yeah, we're here and we're excited. Twenty five years
are down. We were entering year twenty six of being married.
So September the second, two thousand, at six o'clock PM
at the Historic.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
Unfortunately, that's the church I grew up in, and that
church is no longer in a building. They're worshiping still
there online, but they're no longer in a building. So
that has changed.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
So yes, and then our.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Reception venue has changed. It's still it's still there, but
that has changed.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
The church we got married and it's still there, still standing.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, the building is still there, Yes, but they just
not in the building. And the you know, some of
the friends and some of them have kind of stayed around,
some have some have kind of dissipated into the wild
wild West, or you know, evaporated whatever might have been.

(03:54):
Not not that many, but a few. But one thing
I have to say that when it comes to being
married for twenty five years, there's a lot that you
have to learn about yourself. I had to learn, I

(04:14):
had to grow. I had to beat myself up. I've
had to prop myself up, I had to encourage myself.
You know again, what songs can you think of? I've
been there, you know. You know. And so when we
talk about this idea of being married for twenty five years,

(04:41):
I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna be totally honest. It
is not for the fate of heart. It is not
as simple and easy as it sounds. Twenty five years
can go by fast, though it can, but in that
process because you're growing and that other person is growing

(05:05):
as well, and you have to be able to understand that, Hey,
you know what, we're not going to always agree. Hey,
you know what, y'all, we're not gonna always be on
the same page. Well appears to be the same page.
We're not gonna always have the opportunities to talk things out.

(05:25):
You know, there's there's just a lot of different things
that you you know, you have to come to a
better understanding. There's a lot of things that you need
to be able to compromise on, because that's all this is.
There's a lot of compromise. There's a lot of negotiating

(05:47):
with your spouse and yourself. And if you're too too rigid,
it won't last. That's just my opinion. If you're too rigid,
if you're too like, hey, well this is who I am,
but this is who you are today. You know, because

(06:09):
when you hear those words and sickness and the health
right with those two things, a lot changes. It could
be physically, it could be mentally, it could be emotionally,
and it could be spiritually. And if you're not willing

(06:33):
to be with that person through all of that. See
a lot of times when you think about sickness and
the health, we think about somebody has a cold, somebody
has pneumonia, somebody got the flu, right, you know, somebody
might be trying to eat more healthy or whatever it is.
But what happens if that person's going through some type

(06:55):
of emotional struggle because of maybe it's mighty lost their job. Hey,
you know what, maybe we just had the biggest argument
and we don't know how that type of argument changes
and shifts somebody's mentality. You know. The other part is,
which is something that Kapa kind of wanted to talk about.

(07:17):
You know, when we talk about in sickness and the health,
it's not technically sickness as much as health. But the
reality is is that when we got married, my body
type was one thing. When Kafa got pregnant, I changed
for whatever reason. Now here's a reality too, And she's

(07:38):
going through her pre perry, pre post perry, postpartum ministry,
you know whatever, she's going through minopause. Right. The reality
is is that again we're talking about health, right, so
Kafa as so. So the reality is that Kappa all

(08:01):
these years have been extremely cold all the time. I
was warm bodied and whatever else. Oh my gosh, the
roles have shifted. I am cold all the time. And
then the problem is that like evidently I have hot

(08:24):
flashes too, because because if I do something, I get overheated.
Like I'm not just overheated, it's like I'm a radiator
and I'm about to just burst. Wow, you know, And
so I realized that because as KPFA had stated, like
she wanted to do a show about how connected we are.

(08:46):
You know that in that connection. I don't know if
I have sympathy, you know, subconscious sympathy for her empathy,
you know, whatever it is. But the reality is is
that life has changed. And so she's complaining where the
heat had no heat on your feet? Yeah, you know,

(09:06):
whatever it might be. I might babe like, no, like
my temperature has dropped, you know, thirty degrees celsius or something. Well,
you know so and we in America, so I should
say fahaheit. But y'all, you know, get the gym.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
You made that much of a shift, even shifted from
fair hit is celsius. Yes, I think for me throughout
these twenty five years, yes, we've grown much closer together.
I can't recall. I don't remember which pregnancy it was,
whether it was the first or the second, but yes,

(09:41):
your body did shift. You went from you know, a slim,
shady to you know, puff mushmo man big daddy. I
remember getting your T shirt. That's a big day. So
some of those things did change. I do remember you
said that I don't know if you had cravings or

(10:02):
you had morning sickness, something was going on, and I
was like, why do you have that right because.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
You didn't have it. Whatever you didn't have I had
for whatever dumb reason.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Right, So you know, we certainly shared some of the
challenges those symptoms together. So yeah, just just kindred spirits,
you know, working together, living together, loving on each other together.
I think, you know, someone has to have some scientific

(10:36):
proof behind it, but somehow it it does work out
that you loved me so much that you were like
you said, was it with the sympathy pains and you
felt sorry for me? Or were you really really going
through it? You told me, I think you told me
at that time, like it's not sympathy pains, I'm really
going through it, Like.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
This is real, like right now, like you know again
you see like you we're in.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
Bed, yes, and you're like not right now.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
We're laying in bed and we have the sheet now. Granted,
you know in summertime we only got a sheet on
the bed, right top sheet. Well, I'm sorry, we got
all the sheets, just we don't have a blanket or
our comfort or throw or not. But what I'm getting
at is is that so I'm bundled up in the sheet.

(11:25):
She is not covered at all. I am freezing. Meanwhile,
she's laying out like she's on a beach somewhere, tanning
and everything else. I'm like, what the heck, Like what happened.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
In previous summer, I would have had the sheet and
a blanket, right, and it would have covered my entire body.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Right, you know, she would have had a whole sweatsuit
on plus that. Whereas now it is like, no, she's
chilling on the beach.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Most I mad do get some moment where I feel
cool again.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
Listen to the word. Yes, it's not cold, it's not freezing. No,
you know. And at those times, yes, I would be hot.
I would be extremely.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
Hot, and I would, you know, cuddle up because you
radiated heat.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yes, I don't radiate heat anymore.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, things have changed.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
All my all my body heat has has gone.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
It's gone. I try to cuddle up with him the
last couple of nights because I'm not always hot. There
are times where I feel cool, so I want to
get close and snuggle. But then I could go to
touch and I'm like, your skin is cold, Like this
is not comfortable to snuggle with. Nobody wants to well,
I can't say no one. I don't want to snuggle

(12:46):
with something that's cold. I like, you know, warmth. I
want body, I want something to be alive.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
I'm alive because you because you.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
Have said many many times that I was so cold
that you thought I was dead.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
I mean, yeah, I mean because because the problem is
is that you're cold. And then like the other night, right,
you're laying on your back and I wanted to go
put my arm around you. I'm like, how come I
don't hear anything. I had to. I put my hand
on her stomach, being her belly button up to her diaphragm.

(13:24):
I put it on her throat, I mean everything, like
is she breathing? But it was. It was such a
really really light breathing. I'm like, yo, this is crazy.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yes, it's not the first time you said I sleep peacefully.
Used to have to extender your finger below my nose
to see you know if.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
Yeah, sometimes like there are times where I literally have
to like do something in order for you to move,
just so I know that you're still alive, you know,
you know, versus myself, like you said, the last couple
of nights, I've been sawing it.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
Up, teasing me that you're sleeping. Well, yes, oh.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
I'm not sleeping. Well I'm just you know, I'm still
dealing again for those of you who are out there
that had this pandemic thing going on, like I didn't
realize it was going to rock my world like this.
But anyway, so again, but that's still part of that
sickness and the health, right, you know, And so when

(14:19):
we talk about this whole health thing, we don't realize
that whatever chemical changes one may have, the other one
can possibly experience as well, you know, and beyond the
fact of hey, we're just aging every day, right, you know,

(14:39):
as someone's hitting not too long ago, you know res
you know, as soon as I hit forty five, Like
every single bone now hurts when I wake up in
the morning, and I'm like, well, I don't know what
to tell you. You know, it's just life. At least
you know you're alive, You get what I mean, you know.
So I think that's the that's one of the things

(15:03):
that you know, of learning and marriage, of hey, being understanding,
being open minded, that when you talk about sickness and
the health, it's a whole heck of a lot more
to it than just what your initial thoughts are. It's

(15:23):
not it's not the same, you know. And and because
I've been able to be with you for such a
long time, you know, again being uh, you know, you're
you know, blessed that Hey, I'm your only baby father, right,
you know, and so and you're my only baby mama,

(15:46):
you know. And so we've been able to experience those
type of things together, and we've been blessed where we
can experience it and or under the all species of
holy matrimony, you know. And so you know, and so

(16:07):
with that comes all right, we're in this together, and
things get hard, you know, I got to think about
it even more of Yo, we're married. I can't just
run off and just hide somewhere, you know, or whatever.
I got to go through it. And somebody said to
me years and years and years ago when Confor and
I had a really really big fight early on we

(16:28):
were still in our getting to know each other being
married stage, and you know, we got kids or whatever
it is. And he said to me, you know, my
big brother, and I've been telling compor you know a lot,
you know. He said to me, Maurice, you can't leave

(16:51):
you can't do anything. You can't give up until you
can really say you've given one hundred percent in this relationship.
You can't until you've given one hundred percent, you can't
go So he in some ways he told me and
challenged me at the same time. You know, And so

(17:12):
for those of you that are out there that's listening,
when you're thinking about your relationship, do you can you
really sit down and say you've given a hundred percent
in that process? One hundred percent is not easy.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
And I think that one hundred percent changes as well.
Just like you said, Hey, our bodies have changed, our
minds have changed, you know, all of those things. So
one hundred percent when we first got married is different
than one hundred percent we give now. So you know,
at any one particular time, have you given a hundred

(17:47):
percent or you know, like you said, that's difficult because
every day, you know, even when you think about even
outside of marriage, do you give a hundred percent in
your other relationships with work, with your kids, with your family,
you know, parents or whatever, Like you know, there's not

(18:08):
too often that you give all of you at all
the time.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
Well, see, like I saw a video or something like
that when they said, They asked these young girls, you know,
if you had a choice between your dad, your kids,
or your husband, you know, who would you give up
or who would you leave or whatever some along those lines.
And it's funny that these young ladies said their husband.

(18:40):
And on one hand, okay, I get it because the
husband is a choice where the other sets are technically
your blood. But the question is are you really truly
showing up for your husband? You made the choice, right,
you know, you are married for a reason. And here's

(19:03):
the thing. Your father, depending on his situation, does he
have a girlfriend, is he married, is he still married
to your mom that he doesn't have a second wife?
How old is he? You know, is he in a
nursing home? Like whatever those situations are. So he's technically
not with you, right. Your children like this position that

(19:23):
we're in right now. Yay, they're getting older. I had
a conversation with a client of mine where she's like,
you know, my kids, they're older and they got their
own places. Again, you know, our kids are transitioning too.
You know that same idea as well, you know, and
so guess what the kids going to leave to? So
what are you going to do when again, you sitding

(19:45):
at night and you want to snug on you cold. Hey,
you know what Saturday mornings when you want to get
up and you know, go out to eat and you
got to go by yourself, right, you know? Or hey,
you know what, it's eight o'clock at night, you know,
which you know, Kap and I have been doing a
lot lately.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
I e.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
The reason for the body shape. We've been going out
and getting milkshakes and stuff like that. You know, we've
been treating ourselves to that. Some of it is to
pick me up. Some of it is, hey, we're just
going out for a date night, you know, or whatever.
You know. So, you know, so when you're in that relationship,

(20:26):
it's a choice. It's a choice that you're making. You're
making a choice to show up. You're making a choice
to be present. And until you can sit there and
say you've given up one hundred percent in that, you know, Maurice,
you can't leave Maurice, you can't do whatever. And I
think that's one of the things that that, you know,

(20:48):
makes you start to change your mindset towards marriage, towards
any other type of relationships. What is your priority? Right?
You know? So these are some of the things that
again I've had to learn it in addition to.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah, I mean I think again, like I said, you know,
over these twenty five years, we've learned a lot and
we are continuing to learn about ourselves because we're changing,
we're shifting, we're pivoting. Like Maury said that, hey, I'm
going through a change right now, and he as well

(21:30):
is feeling some of that. So with that, we had
to continue to refresh, continue to just understand and be
have grace for ourselves, have grace for one another. That hey,
things are not perfect, things are not There isn't is

(21:52):
we talked about before in the previous one. There's no
perfection here that because we're always changing. If it was perfect,
and what need to change cause it was perfect, then
if if it changed, then it wouldn't be would it
be more perfect? You know? So I think we're always
striving and trying to get better. But even with that,

(22:16):
like I said, because I'm not the same as I
was yesterday, You're not the same as you were ten
days ago, you know, And we're not the same as
we were ten years ago. That we're we're constantly changing,
we're constantly growing, we're constantly evolving. We're constantly pivoting. And

(22:36):
the pivot is not necessarily a negative thing. It's you know,
you it's just a change. Like things have to shift,
things have to evolve, and our relationship has evolved. And
I you know, want those who are listening, whether you're
new in your relationship, new in your marriage, or you've

(22:57):
been together as long as my reason I had things
work out. They work together. But there's going to be
change and you have to be okay with that and
flow with it. Let it flow.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
But you know, change not easy.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
Oh I know that. We've talked about that all the time.
That change hurts, growing pains, you know. But with change
there is something beautiful on the other side, you know,
And you look forward to that and you look at
that prize and you look at where you even if
you don't look forward, even if you look at where

(23:37):
you are now, you know, I can, I can look
at Maurice as for the situation that we're in right
now and see the beauty of where we are right now,
even in the down times, the bad times that we've had,
the struggles when I you know, yeah, you're you're there,
and it's painful and it's you want to get out,

(24:00):
But as Marie said, you got somebody to rock with.
You're in it with somebody else. You know, you could
be all by yourself, ah by and trying to paddle
all by yourself, but hey, you have a teammate and
that means a lot. At times, your teammate might be

(24:23):
paddling one way and you're paddling another way, and that
can seem frustrating. But that's when you have to stop
and communicate with each other, figure out which way we're going,
and move forward in that capacity.

Speaker 1 (24:39):
I think that's a very important analogy cough, because the
appearance is we're paddling in two different directions. I don't
think that for certain situations, not all or not even

(24:59):
a lot where we paddle in two different directions. I
think we might have paddled. Our idea of paddling might
have differed. We could have been in the same direction.
But you know, one could be faster than the other, right,

(25:20):
one could be all right instead of paddling on the
left side about you know a canoe or cad kayak
or whatever it is. You know, one is on one side,
one is the other side. But because it feels like
it's two different directions because of where we're palling on

(25:40):
different sides, that we're spinning right, or whatever it might be,
because one is paneling stronger than the other. One person
is half hearted, you know, with it, whatever, whatever the
situation is. So I think that's a very key analogy
that a lot of times we've been paddling in the

(26:01):
same direction. It's just our viewpoint on it, our speed
on it, our velocity on it, the sense of urgency. Like,
there's so many different factors to that because and for
an example, if we're sitting here and I'm just gonna

(26:25):
it's not this simple, but it's the idea. If we're
sitting here right now and we're saying, you know what,
tomorrow morning, we want eggs, bacon, sausage, and potatoes for breakfast, Well, Maurice,
we don't have any eggs, right, and so, and sometimes

(26:51):
in Maurice fashion, Maurice is like, all right, I'm gonna
get up and go get it done now. And then
what happens in that situation is that Cova say, well, Marie,
well hold on for a second. I have a whole list, right,
And I said, no, I'm just gonna go the same idea.

(27:14):
We're both on the same page of doing breakfast right now.
The other side of that is is that Kafa could
do something very similar where she's like, all right, I'm
gonna go right now and go get it done. But
here's the thing. I just mentioned that she has a list.
So in my mind, all right, cough, you go into

(27:35):
the market. You're gonna go get eggs. Right. So but
then she textes me and says, well, can you meet
me outside outside for what? You only went outside for
a dozen eggs, a stick of butter and maybe some milk, right,
you give what I mean. But you've come home with
sparkling water, or you've come home with orange juice, or

(27:59):
you might have come home it's you know, chocolate cake
or some taste like like you come home, come home.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
With four or five bags full and in cases of
like whatever. He's saying. You know, again, I've gone to
the market and I'm not gonna make it a wasteful
trip because guess what after breakfast comes lunch in dinner.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
But but here's the thing though, that the reality is
is that that the when either one of us goes
to the market, we're both on the same page. Right,
we're both paddling in the same direction. The challenge is
is that what is really going on in that person's
mind as they're going to the market. So I'm saying

(28:45):
I'm gonna go to the market. I might pick me
up a pepsi right where she's coming home with five bags.
So if I said, well, I'm going to the market,
I know I can go and come right back and
we can sit here and watch this movie where if
Confide goes, she's out for a little while longer. And

(29:06):
so now I'm not interested for whatever the situation is.
You know, I'm not like, all right, well you got
these bags and I started doing something else, like you
know whatever. And so it's not that we're not on
the same page or have the same design outcome. It's
just a manner that we go about it and how

(29:28):
we maneuver in it. Now it looks like that we're
not on the same page. And as I just stated,
like I might be out of sync and not feeling it, well,
guess what she might be out of sync and out
of it as well, because I just jumped up and
ran out, you know, And so she's like and then
excuse me, and they're not talking about it. She's like, well, Maurice,

(29:52):
there's a lot more stuff that we could get.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
And I think that's where a lot of couples have
issue is and have disagreements because of their viewpoint and
the way that they process the need. Right. So one
is thinking, hey, we need eggs. I'm gonna go get eggs,
and that takes care of the immediate right, Well, the

(30:16):
other person may be a big picture thinker, may be saying, hey,
if you're going to go and drive because we don't
have corner stores, you're gonna get in the car and
go drive fifteen minutes or ten minutes away and go
to the market, then you might as well pick up
a couple of items, because we still need again to

(30:37):
figure out what we're gonna eat for the rest of
the day, because after breakfast, what are we gonna do.
Are we gonna go then figure out what we're gonna
have for lunch or if we're skipping lunch, or we
just got to figure out dinner. What's that going to be?
Because very rarely do you have everything, well, at least

(30:57):
for us, all the things that we want. Fornay like
it might be like, hey, we have the meat and
the starch, but I don't really want those vegetables that
we have. I'd rather have something else, and or I
want that vegetable, but I want something else on it,
you know. So there'll be something that will come up
with It's like I got a taste for this or whatnot.
Like Barry said, Hey, we'll go out for milkshakes or whatever.

(31:21):
So some of those things is just being okay that
you are paddling differently, and then how do you still
move forward and still meet your goal? How do you
still move forward and still have a good breakfast knowing
that one person's gonna run out and just get eggs
and come right back, and the other person's going to

(31:42):
go out and get eggs and think about what else
do we need for the remainder of the day so
that we don't have to go back out or Hey,
for me, I was just going to get eggs, but
this is on sail and Net's on sale and the
sale ends, you know, so let me go ahead and
get it.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
Yeah. See the challenge with that as well is that
sometimes cougher because she gets into that space, she's going
to more than one store.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
Breakfast. Let me, let's walk.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
Well, I'm saying. I'm saying that, you know, if it's
nighttime and we want it for the morning, okay, you know,
and so you may run. And I'm talking when I
say nighttime, I'm talking let's say six thirty seven o'clock ish.
And so yeah, she might run into this store here
and there, like you know what, because this was on sale.
I might run to this store over here, because again,

(32:33):
you know, some of the things that I don't take
in consideration. She's been studying, or she knows when this
sale ends at this store and when this one begins
and all that type of stuff. So she knows that.
So if she were to go outside and go to
the market, what I need to do is understand that
no matter what it is, it's a two hour market line, right.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
And I, like rio Is Maurice, you know, sometimes called
me to short order cook because again, like he said,
if we're discussing on Friday night, or we're gonna have
you know, big breakfast in the morning, as he said,
he wants eggs home fries in the breakfast meats. And

(33:17):
I might be like, okay, that's good, you know, And
but when I go out to get the eggs. I
was like, we'll round it out, Maurice a biscuit, they
would make it even better. Yeah, but the chills with
that wasn't on the menu. But because I'm there and
I'm thinking, and without communicating that with him, I'll just

(33:38):
be in the market, like, you know what, what would
make everything look? You know?

Speaker 1 (33:42):
No, I mean it's not it's not so much of
the biscuit as much as the biscuits are a sale.
And I'm just gonna use names of Marcus, you know,
one the eggs might be on sale or a Giant,
but the biscuits might be on sale, act me. And
so you understand that again you just stated with everything,
it's not at the corner store, you know. So you're
talking a good fifteen minutes between each store could be

(34:06):
twenty five depending on traffic and construction, right, you know.
And so the thing is that am I understanding enough
because maybe I had other ideas. Run to the store,
You'll come back and maybe we can sit here in
friends watching, you know, one of our Korean Japanese crazy

(34:31):
shows that we'd be watching sometimes, you know, or whatever.
But by the time she gets back, now you know
what the feeling is over and she's like, well, what's next?
And I'm like, not a dog going thing, you know.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
But I think that takes time to understand that. Did
you know that twenty years ago? But I was that
type of shopper. No, I think it has taken time
to understand that. Likewise, sometimes Matica said, you want me
to go shopping with you? Nope?

Speaker 1 (35:07):
Yeah, because sometimes in those situations, I don't have the
So this is where as y'all heard about patience, right,
I don't have the patience, like I forgot one in
the world. Where do we go? When we was with
Janee the other day and we're with Janey, so Jane

(35:27):
and I are kind of walking ahead, we actually lose Kafa.
I lost her because she's no, it's not because you're sure.
It's because you're perusing a whole bunch of different things,
you know, And so I'm like, why is she looking
at that? We're not here for that, Like you get
what I mean? You know, so, but you know, But

(35:49):
then if I'm actually in that mode, like I have
to be in that mode of I'm really out to
enjoy being out versus a mission, and a lot of
times when I go outside'm.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
On a mission and he's very you know, so I'm
the one. And again, it takes time. And that's what
we're just trying to let couples know, like it's okay
to be different, and that it takes time to get
to know oneself and it takes time to get to
know one another. So we're saying all these stories, but basically,
in a nutshell, we're just explaining by our stories that

(36:25):
it's okay and that it takes time.

Speaker 1 (36:27):
So and this this will leads to twenty five years.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
Yes, so many many years ago. I did not know
these things about Maurice, and I didn't know these things
about myself. I mean, I knew I liked to window shop,
and Maurice I think I learned early on, maybe when
we first got married, somewhere in there. It was within

(36:51):
the first five years that you're not a window shopper.
You're like, we ain't buy nothing. What were we going there for? Right,
I'm like, well, we got to see, you know, what
it's like, and if this store has it, and if
it's better than this store. He's like, why we're gonna
go to another store if they have it at this store,
because the other store might have different colors. But again,

(37:13):
i'm options. What are my other options?

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Yeah, but I think sometimes in those other options lead
to indecisions of purchasing something. So like like like I
give you all an example. I understand, I'm sorry, Cole.
Let me you know, I'm gonna jump in your story
real quick. Yeah. So if we're going out shopping and
someone needs shoes, right, so if we go outside, I
already know what shoes or sneakers I want versus, and

(37:41):
I understand, Hey, Maurice, you know, here's these shoes. Let
me go look at these over here. So my thought is,
like you like them, buy them?

Speaker 2 (37:51):
But again, from men and what you're talking about, shoe wise,
you usually have it's a sneaker, it's a certain brand,
so you know how it fits, how it feels, it's
true to size, it's large, you know, a little bit
bigger than so you can just go in and pick
out that color knowing that brand. However, when you say

(38:15):
shoe for us female, and even sometimes if it is
the same brand, it can differ.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
I understand that. But my thing is I.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
Have to try it on. I have to.

Speaker 1 (38:27):
But that's even after you've tried it on, like you
could try it on and say I like this flat.
I'm just gonna use a black flat, right, something generic,
something that almost every store carries. Right, But you'll go
to DSW You'll go to Macy's, you go to Famous Footwear,
you go to Favor, you go to.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
And then teleport it back in time the Favous.

Speaker 1 (38:55):
You know, you'll do all these and then heyk cough, Yes,
you've been out for the last three hours and forty five,
forty and forty seven seconds. Yes, and you had you
didn't buy not one shoe, So I'm ready to go
back and go get the shoe, especially when you seem
like you favored right, and you're like, well no, well no,

(39:18):
then you don't need variety. You need to just go
in there get the black flats, because you said you
need the black flats. I don't care if you get
three pairs of black flats from eat one from each store,
because guess what, each one is not necessarily the same color,
the same style, or whatever it is.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
And that's gonna be a thing like one's going to
be an almond toe, one's going to be a rounded toe,
one's going to be a peak toe.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
You guess what? And guess what each one of those
calls for. In my estimation, especially when it comes to fashion,
each one of those calls for something else, right, So
why not get all three?

Speaker 2 (39:52):
Because then I don't need all those different blacks you do,
don't you do black flats? I need? I need a wedge,
I need a hell, I need to pump, I need
a flat.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
So this is why we differ in that whole space, right,
because I'm because again, so I'm not sure if y'all
used to follow me back in the day. I really
like Alan Iverson's The Questions right, so in all reality,
and I also like Nike Airmax ninety fives. So if

(40:27):
you were to go in my closet right now, I
think I have about number right, I probably have seven
pairs of each seven Questions, seven ninety fives. That's not
including all the other Nike I mean redbout classics that
might have whatever it is, right, and so yes, different colorways,
different styles. It all depends on how I feel, you

(40:50):
know whatever. But it's the same sneaker right now. Some
people might say, well, Maurice, that might be overkilled, but no,
each one has a different vibe to it. So to me,
each one of those black flats.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
But they're not all black. They're all Especially when it
comes to your questions, they're all different. No two look
the same. Even if the majority color is white, the
next one at the majority color white, it looks totally different.
So they're not all black flats.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
They're not. They're not.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
So I don't think you can compare the two.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
I would say, I will put it like this. I
would put it like this. Yes, I would say probably
about seventy percent of my sneakers have the same color
pattern red, black and white. I would say probably about
seventy percent.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
Will have to go do a essen. We will have
to go challenge that. I will challenge you on that.
Seventy percent, about seventy have it all together or.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
Or no, they're they're red, black and white, some type
of some type of comp a nation of that right,
And so why are you shaking your heads.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
Because I don't believe it. Seventy percent have red, black
and white in them. Yes, not just an all white pair,
all black pair, a black and red pair of black.

Speaker 1 (42:14):
I only have I only have like one all black,
No two, I have maybe two all white. Okay, you know, okay, maybe.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
Three Okay, so again you're you're now saying seventy percent
of your shoes.

Speaker 1 (42:35):
Yeah, but I think sim about seventy percent of my
shoes are that color that colorway, No, you need to
decrease that have all no, no, And we're gonna we're
gonna come back on the show and we're going to
talk about this when I pull them all out. Yeah,
And so you know, so to me, it's how you feel,

(42:55):
how you look in that day, what's going on or
whatever it is. That's the way. That's the way I
look at it, you know. And so for when as
we're talking about this, you know, I think that again
when I say something about patience or shopping or whatever
it is. Again, these are things that you learn in

(43:16):
this twenty five years, not just about that individual that
you're with, but even for yourself, you know, because now
and understanding that, why do I feel that way? Why
am I saying Copper just get all three pair now?
In my mind? Because if you hear KPF is reasoning

(43:37):
like my reasons, I really just I don't need three
pairs of black flats. I'm saying, Okay, the black flats
are because one is pointy, one is stubby toe and
one is whatever, right, you know, And so each one
to me has a different flow with a different pair
of pants or whatever it is. So and so each

(44:01):
one to me are different shoes than not the same.
Just because they're black doesn't mean that they're the same. Show.
That's just the way I feel about it.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
They are different and they will flow differently with different
outfits and whatever. I totally agree, you know.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
And so that's why my thought is, if you want them,
especially since your shoes don't cost a whole heck of
a lot per se, you could get those and like, yo,
let me get the Rainbow Special, right.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
You know, And I have done that, you know again,
growing up I had the Rainbow Special, had a shoe
in every color, but it wasn't necessarily one shoe, so
you know, I had a ballerina, I had a penny loafer,
I had another type you know whatever.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
But you know, but going back to the reason why
I'm saying to get it because of industry lack, not
the indecisive I mean, that's a part of it, but
it's also the lack of for varioty that I know
that I lacked in my wardrobe growing up. You know,

(45:07):
and so where I wanted a different shoe because just
because again here's the other part of that as well.
You wear the stubby toe blacks, right, and you just
so happened you hit your toe on the curb. No, no,
let's go with the pointy toe ones, because those are

(45:28):
those could be like, you know, ten inches longer than
what the shoe is. And so you stump your toe
on the curb. You don't lift your foot up high
enough on a curb. All of us do it every
now and then. You know, you might not actually kiss
the ground, but you know, you get close enough, right,
you get scared enough, right, you know, And so you
do that. Guess what, Now your shoe is scuffed. Do

(45:50):
you really want to wear them tomorrow? Not necessarily, Well.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
You're not supposed to wear your shoes more than you
know back that way anyway.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
But so I'm just using it as an example though, right,
you know. And so when you're in that state, yeah,
now you got another shoe that you kind of transition
out of.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
Understood.

Speaker 1 (46:14):
That's the reason why I make that stment, I think.

Speaker 2 (46:16):
But it also goes back to, like you said, your
level of patience, because I will or I have. I
don't as much now. I would go to three four
stores to do a comparison shopping. Because I'm talking prior
to Internet and all those things. I would go three
or four stores, not in the mall. I could go, yeah,

(46:40):
just different shopping centers, and then collect all my data
and then realize, Hey, the shoes I saw in the
first door were the best deal. And then I'll go
and skip myself merrily back to the first store and
say get me those I think from me. My hang

(47:03):
up is having buyer's remorse. I've always hated buying something
and then be like, dang, I should have waited because
now they're gonna sell over here, or dag, I should
have waited because that's exactly what I've been looking for.
I wanted not a stubby toe I wanted I wanted

(47:23):
an almond toe. I wanted a peek toe. And I
think I'm very I'm not. I'm kind of picky. I'm
not particular. I'm kind of picky when it comes to shoes.
I don't like all four of my toes hanging out.
I don't like.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
Are we listening to toe? No? Oh?

Speaker 2 (47:41):
All five? Sorry, thank you. I don't like all my
toes hanging out. That's how much I don't like it,
because I don't like to see all of that foot out. Now,
if it's a te strapped sand or you know, where
the whole foot is out, then that's one thing. But
certain ones where it's just the toes, I don't. I
don't want to see all five. You can give me three,

(48:03):
maybe four, but perfectly three. I had some really cute
peak toes. It was just like two toes. It just
because the way it hits my foot and I have
a narrow foot, so it's always a little bit compromising
for that. But marine Ca'll be like, look at this shoe.
I'm like, yeah, Or look at this sandal. I mean,
I have been looking for slides for a year, trying

(48:25):
them on whatever, every time I go to I see
them online, I go to the store, I put my
foot in it, and my foot just slides right out
of it. On the other side, I'm like toes or
gripping the ground, and I don't want that. I don't
want to buy them two sides. It's too large like
some people do, so that you know, I just have
a narrow foot and it just slides. I mean, I've looked.

(48:47):
I've had the box in my hand getting ready to
walk up to the thing, and I said, now, let
me try them both one because I try one on
it and it's kind of okay. I try them both
on and it's like it feels like somebody else was
in this shoe.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
I think what it is stretched out. You just really
just need to I think you and I talked about it.
You just need to go get the the old Moses Saints,
you know, with the thong in the in between the toe,
like that old school stuff.

Speaker 2 (49:13):
Yeah, but that's not as comfortable.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
Yeah, but you're you, like you said, you've been looking
for something new because your other shoes are done right,
you know, and so and you won't get Crocs.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
They're too big. They don't feel right on my foot.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
You gotta put the the the handlebar on the back,
put the handlebar back up.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
Safety strap.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
Yeah. Whatever.

Speaker 2 (49:37):
Crocs had some really cute ones. And I've looked and
I've tried. I even tried Birkenstocks.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
Yeah. I mean, there's a whole lot of other shoes
that are.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
Coming because I didn't like those differences, and I said, oh,
we got some cute ones. Put them on my look,
the straps was just swimming in the air, just floating
in the air like they belong somewhere else, nowhere near
my foot. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:59):
So so again, these are things that we learned in
twenty five.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
I would have been walking in my foot and I've
done that. I've bought shoes just to have them, and
I've been walking and my foot just come out to
shoe because I have no safety straps.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
Yeah, that's why you need the cross.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
But if I'm still leaning, yeah, okay, we'll try. We'll
have to go out shoes shopping together. Never anniversary. Let's
go shoes shopping, baby, Yeah, we could do that. Why
you're moving so much?

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Because they'll happen one day, I mean soon maybe then
very soon.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
You all hear that that my husband has made a
promise to go shoes shopping with me.

Speaker 1 (50:46):
I don't think I said I promise.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
You said we're going to go soon.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
Yeah that's yeah, that's not a promise.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
Though, that's not a promise. It's just your word. Your
word is your bond. What's the difference between like if
you're saying, hey, we're gonna go shoes shopping and you're saying, hey, we're.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
Going street shopping.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
We're going eventually, eventually I have to.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
Think about that, work up to that. Yeah, we got
to work up to that. Maybe by thirty in fit
of restorat, you know. But again, these are all the
things that go into that twenty five years twenty five.
When you say twenty five, it doesn't sound like a lot,
but it's a whole lot.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
Oh, it sounds like a lot. Now. You used to
ask me, does it sound like a lot? I'm like, no,
it's been a piece of cake. It's been yeah. But
now you say twenty five, I'm like, wow, long time.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
Yeah. I mean a lot of people don't get to
this point. You know, a lot of people are not
blessed enough.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
Twenty five years. I mean other than saying, hey, I'm
twenty five years old, but twenty five years in anyone
nobody's saying, hey, I worked at this company for twenty
five years. Nobody's saying I lived in this house for
twenty five years. No one's saying I've had this car
for twenty five years. No one's saying I've been you know,
there are a few people out there to say I've
been married for twenty five years. But what else? Yeah,

(52:06):
what else is there?

Speaker 1 (52:08):
I mean in something that we said there was most recently,
we're like, yo, we're legal now. M like we can
get real insurance now. Like you know, that's just the
way it feels like we've been together like that long
that we are adults, like we were grown in this situation.

(52:32):
We have a lot of data, We have a lot
of experiences, you know. So if someone wants to say, hey,
you know, what is it like to be, you know,
married for twenty five years, one of the things I
could say is or once one year, potential down moments
or whatever it is. Well, you know, we didn't have

(52:54):
oil in the house, and not us not having oil
not only meant we didn't have heat in the house.
We didn't have hot water in the house. You know,
so what does that feel like? And hold on for
a second. And because you don't have hot water in
the house, I'm sorry, you don't have no oil and
you don't have any hot water in the house. You

(53:15):
go to turn on the hot water because you don't
even know you don't have any oil, right, and guess what,
the thing fires up and then because it's burning all
of the soot at the bottom. Now your house is
full of soot or whatever it is. Like yo, Like
it's been some really really crazy even health dangerous situations.

(53:36):
You know that you got to learn. You got to realize, like, hey,
I gotta stay on top of this. You know, sometimes
you don't realize, especially when you're for us. I know
for myself when we went into that, you know, to
our home that that had where the oil heated both
the water and the house. That sometimes you don't I

(54:00):
don't realize how much hot water you use that you
might waste or whatever it is. You gotta consider. Well
every time we wash our hands. Hey, you know what
the kids were outside today, they came in, they washed
their hands, the to do this this and then it
with back outside. Then they got washed the hands when
they come back. You know what, everybody got washing their
hands before you eat dinner. Hey, you use the bathroom?

(54:21):
How many times did you use the bathroom today? Did
you wash your hands? Got used?

Speaker 2 (54:25):
You know?

Speaker 1 (54:25):
Do that as well?

Speaker 2 (54:27):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (54:27):
You know what we forgot that we washed clothes yesterday.
How many loads of clothes do we have? Not just
coffee and I but you know what, we gotta wash sheets,
we gotta wash towels. Oh wow, we did have to
wash the kids clothes because Maurice he decided that he
wanted to be Superman on the ground and just slide
across all the grass in school. So there's some things

(54:48):
we had to wash once, oh wow, twice, maybe even
three times, you know because of that. Oh you had
football practice too. Now we gotta wash that stuff. And
guess what, that stuff gotta be washed by itself because
it has a whole bunch of other stuff on on
it that you want to put other you know, in
other clothes. So there are some things that you don't
always take into account when those things happen, and those

(55:11):
are things that you, again, you got to learn through
the process. It's not an easy hey you know what,
just turn the key situation.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
But I have to say, even with all of that
that you're explaining from reference to that the oil, what
I don't recall. What I do recalls how blessed we were,
because I don't recall having to boil the pot of
water and take it through the house. I remember that

(55:42):
year's you know, at my at my my childhood, you know,
type of thing, and hearing other people's talk about it,
But I don't recall us doing that, you know, even
with us having hey, the oils out. I just remember,
you know, calling and no I remember.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
Once or twice old school filling up the tub with
hot water. I do remember that, But it wasn't like
you said, it wasn't very often. And because we had
other situations going on as well, you said, you know,
it's like, oh wow, it's like one thing after another,

(56:24):
you know, So it wasn't like straight through straight, you know,
like that was the only situation. It might have been
that plus this, plus this, you know, and so us
not having oil, as you just stated, we might not
have had it that morning, like when everybody went to
school or whatever it was. We might have had it
when everybody got home though, you know, and so, like

(56:46):
you said, it was one of those type of situations.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
But it's just because we had an old tank and
you couldn't read it to see when oil was low.
I think somebody who's listening should like create an oil
tank that alert you it beeps. I mean, I mean,
you wished to say it was supposed to make a
noise when it gets low, but the only time I
heard it whistle was when they were filling it up,

(57:12):
you know. But Yeah, especially for that particular house.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
I mean, I think there might be something out there.
We just we just don't know because that's not the
space that we're in.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
So, you know, so you're listening and you know that
there's a device to put on the oil, go ahead,
you know, put that in the the comments below. So
for those who are using it, can I be aware
that there's something out there that helps them know, hey,
oil is getting low? Especially for how old that house was.
The tank was really really old, and the meter kind

(57:44):
of faced the wrong way, so you couldn't really see it.

Speaker 1 (57:46):
Yeah, it wasn't It wasn't straightforward.

Speaker 2 (57:49):
You had to kind of climb almost over it in
some way in order to kind of see the meter.
You know, so it's always difficult to know how much
oil you had remaining.

Speaker 1 (58:02):
You know, So twenty five years sickness and in health again,
talking about the heating situation, buying shoes or whatever it is.
Some of those are emotional situations, some of those are mental,
some of those are physical, right, but ultimately, how much

(58:23):
did it test our spiritual health? How much did that
test our spiritual growth? How much of that made us
fall on our knees? How much of that is sometimes
we forgot to fall on our knees, you know, and
I think those are things that as we continue to
move forward and we understand how much God has blessed

(58:47):
us through this process, how much He has kept us
in this process. I don't take it lightly.

Speaker 2 (58:54):
I don't take life God's grace that we're here this
twenty five years. You know, he has truly been in
our midst even when we didn't recognize and know that
that's you know, that he was working behind the scenes
or you know, he was orchestrating the whole thing, you know,
because we were on our knees and like, Lord help me,

(59:15):
I don't know what to do. But there's been times
where things were kind of on our own and doing
things on our own, not even thinking or questioning, asking gud,
how do we go forward? We were just moving, you know,
like I'm gonna go get this. But God, you know, still,
even through all of that, still showed up and has

(59:38):
been present in our lives this entire twenty five years.
I'm grateful. I am so so thankful to have you
in my life, Maurice. I look forward to the next
twenty five and beyond, so you know, you talked about
all the eggs and pains we have already, so you know,

(01:00:01):
through sickness and health, and we've we've had some sick moments,
both of us, you know, of course most of the
days are healthy. But looking forward to whatever God has
in store for us, and know that if we continue
to focus on Him, then we keep him first and
all of this, you know, it can only get better.

(01:00:26):
And you know we'll continue to share with you all
that are listening this journey that we have twenty five plus.
That's what we're doing next twenty five plus. You know
we're ready.

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
And I will say that, you know, Kafa, You know
I've been especially quite a few last episodes of saying
just that, you know, thank you for you know, just
you being you. So again, sometimes we don't celebrate the
individuality that we have. We don't want to acknowledge it.
Sometimes we again we need to think that we're on

(01:01:01):
the same page and whatever it is. But guess what
life is not about everybody being on the same page
all the time because of things that we don't take consideration.
If you're working nine to five and the other person
works at nine to five, then who's in their ear

(01:01:21):
all day, every day, right, And when I say that,
it doesn't have to be like they're trying to talk
to somebody whatever it is. But you know, you don't
know what they hear when they hear all the other
craziness that's going on. You don't know what they hear
when their job is like, hey, you know what, we're

(01:01:43):
not sure we're going to be here in six months.
You're not sure what they hear when yo, you know what,
they're going to their manager's office or the supervisor's office
and they have their yearly review and their yearly review sucks,
you know whatever it is, or you know, I banged
it out. I did the best thing I could. Well,

(01:02:04):
you know what, because of our situation, we didn't have
any profits this year. We can't give you a yearly increase,
you know, we can't give you any profit shares or
whatever it is. But YO, did you read the newspaper
how the CEO y'all just gave him a thirty million
dollar bonus and I can't get one. And I'm the face.

(01:02:27):
I understand that he's looking at things from a macro perspective.
He's you know, looking to go to maybe some government entities.
And do this and that or whatever else. But guess what,
I'm the one that's sitting here in the chair who
has to talk to these customers that helps to create
the community that you're looking to sell to. So I'm

(01:02:50):
not as important. So again, you don't know what those
people have to deal with. And so when they come
home and now you're trying to talk to your spouse
and they'll be like, I'm good, I'm okay. You're gonna
take them for their word, but not knowing that they
are really in a funk, not knowing that they really are,

(01:03:14):
like on a brink, you know, of Yo, one of
these days, I'm gonna right off right off this bridge
on my way home. You know that I don't really
feel like walking in this house. You know that when
I wake up in the morning, you know, maybe I

(01:03:35):
just want to go back to sleep and not wake
up again. Like, you really don't know those challenges that
people deal with. And sometimes we because we get caught
up in our own stuff, sometimes we don't even take
the time or the energy to even recognize that that
person is struggling. And sometimes cough, you know, neither one

(01:04:00):
of us done it at all. Sometimes we've overdone it,
you know, paying attention, whatever it is. But the thing
is that, in my opinion is that over the years,
we've had to go through some situations to understand that, Yo,
you know what, as you stated earlier, that this person's

(01:04:22):
gonna ride with me, right, that this person is here.
When I just said something about, you know, the young
ladies choosing their father or their kids over their their
spouse or whatever it is, well, guess what, those individuals
aren't gonna be with you all the time. They're not
there with you when you have diarrhea, you just threw

(01:04:43):
up all over the bathroom. They're not gonna be there
with you when you are going through menopause and you know,
everybody got hot flashes and everybody don't know what to eat,
and you know, whatever it is, because that's not their life, right,
you know. And so when we're sitting here talking about
not having oil, but the kids didn't know. Right when

(01:05:07):
we sit here talk about the lights being off, Yeah,
our parents kind of knew. They kind of gave us
a couple of dollars back then or whatever it is
to help us out. But I know that at least
there's a few moments where we had to pay back,
you know. And so the reality is is that everyone
is not going to always be there right with you
through the whole process, and everyone is not going to

(01:05:29):
be as supportive and go through the trenches with you
because also as you stay the car, there's a lot
of people that's out there for themselves and in all reality,
in order to be where we are right now, I
had to learn that, hey, I'm not always as important
as I think I am. I had to learn that,

(01:05:50):
you know, and that you know when people say, God
allowed me to decrease so you can increase. God, like, Yo,
I need you to lead me and guide me through
this process. You know, what does she need in this situation? God?
What do I need in this situation? It would have

(01:06:11):
for us to move forward? You know, bless us. You
know God that hey, we don't make such a misstep
that is so detrimental. You know that that you know
in this situation. You know, I understand God that you
know what that decision might have not been the best decision. Yes,
you gave us you know, the you know, the decision

(01:06:31):
to the ability for us to make decisions or whatever
it is. You know that you're ultimately sposed to get
the glory through this anyway. But also in this I
don't want to be hurt too bad, you know. And
if I am hurt bad, allow me to understand what
the message is. Let me learn from that, and how
do I grow? And So I can't sit here and

(01:06:54):
say that Coaf and I have not had our bumps
and bruises through this process, that we haven't learned a
whole lot about ourselves individually as a couple. But the
reality is that each and every one of you can
do the exact same thing. Yes, each and every one
of you that's out there can take this opportunity to say,
you know what, I'm going to learn how to be

(01:07:14):
a better spouse, yes, one way or another. And the
other part of that is the addition to that, I'm
gonna learn how to be a better parent. I'm gonna
learn how to be a better child, you know, to
my parents or whatever it is. I'm gonna learn how
to be a better niece, nephew, grandchild, coworker, maybe even

(01:07:38):
a neighbor. Right, you get it to me, Because we're
all in this together. Some positions are closer than others, right,
but we all can do it. We all can make
it together. And if you really understand when it comes
down to generational wealth, it comes down to the family.

(01:08:03):
The family is what brings it together. The family is
the nucleus. That's where your wealth really is. And until
you really understand that and you change the mindset on that,
you're not gonna be able to get to another place
because you have to say, God, I am your child, right,

(01:08:28):
you know, and so and he's the provider, you know,
He's the one that's taking care of you, right, that's father.
I mean that, that's a family dynamic. That's a level
of respect, a level of honor, a level of acknowledgment,
understanding your place in that situation, all those things you

(01:08:49):
got to understand in your relationship with your spouse twenty
five years. Is not easy. It isn't but it has rewards.
And so for me, CoV, I know, I went on
a whole tiing, but it is probably the greatest reward

(01:09:10):
that I've ever had. It is the greatest gift that
God has ever given to me. Yes, my kids are fantastic,
don't get me wrong. You know our kids are fantastic.
Don't get me wrong. You know our parents have been
you know great as well, you know, in laws like
like you know, so there's some things that are dynamics

(01:09:32):
that as I listen to other people, I don't have
the in laws from from somewhere else. I don't have
those situations. And part of that is again it's all
about how you respond, is the environment that you create,
and so when it comes down to it, enjoy yourself,

(01:09:57):
enjoy your spouse, and understand that twenty five years, it's work,
it's a prayer, it's fasting. It might be some moments
of you feel desperate in despair, but there's also a

(01:10:18):
lot of happiness, a lot of joy, and a lot
of moments where you might be playing numbers with your daughter.
I don't know, but you know, but yeah, you know. So,
so take the time to honor respect the relationship that
you're in and confer That's where I am with you.

(01:10:44):
We've been through a lot, and we just shared with
y'all in the last hour and ten minutes of what
we've experienced, different stories, different ideas, different situations that hopefully
you can learn from and grow from that. Hey, you
know what, maybe I mayn't go through that, but something
very similar to that happened in my life and know that. Hey,

(01:11:11):
if you need somebody will be there. We can help
you through the process. If you need somebody to talk to,
need somebody to you know, bounce ideas off of need
someone to say. Hey, you know what, Maurice or Kafa,
you know, be sure to send us an email No

(01:11:33):
Fruit Podcasts at gmail dot com. Hey, we're having challenges
in our marriage. We're having challenges in our relationship. Hey,
you know what, I don't know if I should marry
this person or not, you know, And all I'm gonna
say to you is did y'all eat some shirping grits?
I don't know, like I'm gonna say something stupid, you know.

(01:11:57):
So that's all you know. I got to say you
last party words?

Speaker 2 (01:12:02):
No, I said my parting words, and then you went
on your.

Speaker 1 (01:12:05):
Man like I can't stop. Please pass the plate.

Speaker 2 (01:12:09):
Yes, that's what I canna say, is you know, pass
the plate? You know everybody say that the church say amen.
Let the church say amen.

Speaker 1 (01:12:22):
Let the church say amen.

Speaker 2 (01:12:26):
Maurice has foke.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
No no, no, no, okay. I want to know how
tone death are we because we have not sang a song,
sing a song a sixpence pocket full of rock. I'm sorry,
I don't know why I can't.

Speaker 2 (01:12:55):
Sixpence to tell you how old it is, But I've
never heard that song. You'll have to teach it to
me or show me after we look through all your sneakers.

Speaker 1 (01:13:05):
Oh oh, going after we missed that moment. But we
thank y'll very much for listening.

Speaker 2 (01:13:12):
Thank you so much through our rant, and thank.

Speaker 1 (01:13:15):
You very much for our twenty fifth anniversary party. And
the reality is is that this is our longest episode ever.
I didn't think I could do that.

Speaker 2 (01:13:32):
Oh, you still got more in you. I'm sure because
you're looking at me like you're ready to keep going.
Not today, and you're ready to go count sneakers. Okay,
let's go. Thank you all so so much for listening.
Please remember to like, share, comment that good stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:13:52):
Yes, thank y'all very much. Talk to y'all later.

Speaker 3 (01:13:55):
Hi, thanks for tuning in to another episode of a
No Fruit podcast. Bring you fruitful conversations, ripen wisdom and
love that's deeply rooted. If you enjoyed this episode, don't
forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share it
with someone who could use a little inspiration in their
death Until next time, Stay rooted in love, and remember
every seed you plant today shapes the fruit of tomorrow.

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Happy 25th Anniversary Maurice & Kafi | S7E62

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Happy 25th Anniversary Maurice & Kafi | S7E62