August 19, 2025 • 30 mins
Showing up authentically is more valuable than striving for an unattainable ideal of perfection.
Ever feel like you’re not enough? Join Maurice and Kafi as they navigate the reality of life, love, and partnership while embracing imperfection. Discover how they support each other through health challenges and personal growth, all while keeping their commitment to God at the forefront.
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Ever feel like you’re not enough? Join Maurice and Kafi as they navigate the reality of life, love, and partnership while embracing imperfection. Discover how they support each other through health challenges and personal growth, all while keeping their commitment to God at the forefront.
- Importance of showing up despite imperfections.
- Accountability strengthens partnerships and builds trust.
- Authenticity and individual growth benefit shared goals.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Let's talk God about loving thement the way of God.
In send life expeerience, we show love. God, help transform.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
What's going on, y'all. We're back. I'm back.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
I still not feeling the greatest, and.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I have to tell y'all that this is actually.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Gonna be part two of what Kafa spoke about in
the last episode talking about partnership and whatnot.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Perfection.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yeah that.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
And right now I'm not perfect to do this episode,
but this is something that I would like to talk
about today, in this partnership versus perfection. When you are
in a true partnership, a real, true partnership with your partner,
(01:30):
the one that you love, a partnership with yourself. Sometimes
we have to partner with ourselves in a partnership with God.
One of the things that you need to do, in
my estimation, is that you need to show up.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I have to.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Say that on the air that even with me not
being one hundred percent last week, my partner, even though
she didn't feel as bad as I did, nowhere near
as bad as I did, but she showed up in
(02:15):
this situation right now, even though I don't feel the greatest,
but I'm showing up a lot of times that part
is showing up and not trying to be perfect in
your show up. It means a lot more in that
(02:37):
moment than it does for that situation to be as
perfect as possible, because sometimes of us waiting for perfection,
it causes another p word, procrastination exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
You know.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
And so so I just wanted to piggyback a little
bit off of what Kappa has spoke about because I
didn't want to get into if you know this, this
episode is not the the newer format of Hey, this
is what we're going to talk about, y'all, whatever it is.
I went straight into the intro and I'm about let's
(03:15):
get it because it's all about showing up, and it's
actually part two.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
And I believe that.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Personally showing up one for myself in this very moment,
it's like, all right, Maurice, we've been down for long enough.
Let's push through just a little bit more, push through
a little bit more. Also showing up for my partner,
(03:50):
being my wife in this situation, she, in my opinion
and confin is here. She can speak for herself, but
she prefers to have our show to continually show our
partnership through life. She's not truly, truly, truly interested in
(04:13):
doing it solo. And so she is one thousand percent
committed to what we present to each and every one
of you. And then then the last part of this is,
which is I believe, pray. The most important part is
my commitment to God and understanding that His people need
(04:34):
to be shown, need to be expressed that no matter
is the situation, no matter what it looks like that
could be holding you back or whatever it is, as
long as you continue to just show up, he's gonna make.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
A way out of no way.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
Yeah, he'll fill in for those times when you don't
feel like you have it all together, when you feel
like you're not perfect, he will come in and he'll
step right in and make it, make it perfect, make
it better, make it you know where it should be.
And I think that's that's key. I'm so glad that
(05:08):
Maurice is back with us. As you can hear, he's
not feeling the best, but he's pressing through. We're using
all the P words today. He's certainly pressing through. And
you know, putting God first and understanding that you know
the purpose, the mission, the call is a lot greater
(05:29):
than how our body may feel. The purpose, the mission,
the call, the pursuit, you know, has to be greater
than whatever is going on in our own little lives,
because it is so much larger.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Than just us.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
So I think that's you know, so commendable that Maurice
is here and he's you know again and pushing through
even with all the things that may be going on, coughing,
post nasal drip, you know, all of those things. I
had some of that last time. In the last show,
I had a lot of post nasal drip, so I
do apologize for that. But again all the p words,
(06:17):
but yeah, I think showing up for one another, showing
up for ourselves, but the root of it all is
showing up for God, like Maurice is saying, you know,
and putting God first and acknowledging who He is and
where He is in our lives. That as I said
(06:40):
in the last show, that we're not perfect, not perfect
beings or in any manner, that we're just striving to
be better, you know, and it's God that makes us better.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
So and I think something else as we're showing up
and not worrying about being perfect, but we're also accountable
to one another. And if you want people to be
(07:19):
in a position to be able to trust you, to
depend on you to, you know, whatever it might be,
you have to be able to be accountable. You have
to be able to be accountable for your actions, how
you speak to one another, how you deal with the
situation or whatever it is. And I commend Kafa. I mean,
(07:40):
she'll tell you that. I commend her on showing up,
you know, not only with the It's interesting because I
haven't been feeling well for a while. I have been
in pain. I have been challenge health wise for a while.
(08:01):
And so the interview that she had done by herself,
the you know one interview, I think it was Lisa Watson.
I believe it was, I mean Linda Sutton. I'm sorry
lean the Sutton CONFI did it by herself, you know.
And then again, like I said, the last episode, so
(08:24):
you know, I haven't been right in a minute, and
I think some of that has been for me to
sit back and be quiet for a minute and just
hear from God in certain situations, in certain places and spaces.
And but again Kafa probably has been dealing with her
(08:44):
own God speak, if you will, God conversations of like, hey,
you know what, you can go through this stuff on
your own. You can see yourself go the extra mile
and be able to handle an interview and a show
all by yourself if you're able to, you know. And
so sometimes we don't understand that, you know that God
(09:06):
is also showing what our other capabilities are. And sometimes
if you want something bad enough, are you going to
push through enough?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
You know? And so y'all can't see Coffe shaking ahead.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
But you know because Kapfa in the past, I say, hey,
you know what, Cof, you could do it on your own.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
You could do X, Y and Z whatever. She's like, No, Marie,
I might to deal with you, but.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
She's shown that she is more than capable of handling it,
way more than she probably even give herself credit for.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
And I think what happened was what Maurice is alluding to.
For some time he would say to me, you know, Kaf,
you want to go downstairs and record your own show. No, Marisa,
don't you know, Coff? You know, maybe I should do
you know, a show from the men's you know, husband's
point of view, and you can do a show from
the wife's point of view. No, Maurice, we went into
this together. You know, we're married to each other. We're
(10:04):
you know, doing a marriage podcast, talking to people about
our experiences as a married couple, not just hey, this
is the wife's point of view, et cetera. So all
these times he's presenting things in you know, and trying
to encourage me and empower me to do some things
(10:24):
out on my own, and I have shied away from
it numerous times. As many times as I could, I
shied away and step back. There were times even when
I was like, Okay, well we just won't have a
show then, because I'm not going down there to do
that on my own. But as Maurica said, you know,
I've been doing some work on my own and trying
(10:46):
to understand my purpose and what God has for me
and what my voice is in this world, in life
and in this world of podcasting. So God created this
perfect storm, you know. So there's anything perfect, it certainly
came from God, and he created this perfect storm. As
Mara said, you know, he had been battling some physical
(11:07):
pain where he hadn't been feeling well, and then some
other things had come upon that he didn't have much
of a voice didn't have much energy, and we had
some shows that needed to be done, so I pressed through.
Something came upon me, and I felt more confident in
(11:31):
it all and didn't want to deny our guests the
benefit of doing the show. We had already canceled on
her once because of not feeling well and some other
things that were going on within the family, and I
didn't want to cancel on her again. I thought, you know,
she was diligent enough to follow up with us and reschedule,
(11:56):
so if one of us was okay, then I tried
to press through. I know she wanted you to be there, Maurice,
but you know, I think I, you know, got through
the interview and held it down.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
You know, maybe we'll bring her back on the show
where she can.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
Talk to the both of us if need be, and
if that's what the cards, you know align. And then
the next perfect storm was again that Maurice wasn't feeling
good yet again, and I was able to get the
show you know, done without him, and you know, took
(12:32):
a couple of little lessons of Maurice sitting down with
me and saying, hey, press this button, do this, and
those types of things. Some dry runs things like that
before I was able to, you know, get up and
do it on my own. But again, that was the
perfect storm. You know, those things kind of fell into
(12:53):
place and fell in my lap, and I didn't run
away from it. I think because it kind of happened
that way. That just me and my personality. I'm kind
of I deal with things as they happen. I'm not
necessarily the best planner. I can do planning, but sometimes I'm,
(13:16):
as Maurice says, I'm a reactionary. So this all happened
and it's just like, Okay, well what are you going
to do?
Speaker 4 (13:23):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 5 (13:25):
So I prayed about it, and you know, along with
all the other things that I had been looking at
in my life, decided to step up and do it.
You know, I enjoy podcasting. I enjoy talking to you
all and sharing information about our story, information about our life,
(13:48):
hoping that it helps you along the way. As I said, like,
we didn't have a whole lot of people to lean
on and glean on when it comes to marriage, when
it comes to relationships. So I'm happy to share our
story so that you can learn from us the things
that we did. Well, you can decide to try to
(14:08):
pick those things up in places that we didn't do well,
you can hopefully not repeat those things and learn from them.
So that's my story.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Yeah, So you know, all this being said because I
think she did such a wonderful job on.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Partnership versus perfection. And I was like, all right, let me.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Expand upon it just a little bit because in that
moment of partnership, and I'm not going to sit here
and say that confident oh perfectly, because one we already
believe that nothing is perfect, right. But as I said
(14:59):
to her, there's nothing there's no critique, there's no hey,
you could have done this better. It's all about how
she felt, how she ran with the show. Nothing like
there's And so this is the other part of partnership
of being able to say, hey, Bib, you did a
(15:23):
great job, you know, even if you were a little
gun shy, even if you were a little apprehensive, and
you may not really wanted to do it, but you
stepped up to the plate and you performed.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
You broke a leg, right, you know.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
So there were times in our relationship where I didn't
always congratulate right even you know, and I had and
it's funny because as we're talking and I asked her,
I sat her down the other day and just like,
how do you think you've done first? And sometimes I
(16:02):
asked that and then she'll kind of play the fence
a little bit. I did, okay, but I could have
done this or whatever it is, and then in the past,
you know, I would say something that kind of like
almost wipes out the confidence, you know, And so I've
(16:24):
had to learn and grow and mature in that space
of like, hey, you know, Maurice, in all reality, only
because you have another show that you do by yourself,
that doesn't mean that's perfect. Like you're used to doing that,
like you're used to doing stuff by yourself. This is
conference first time of doing this show, doing this type
(16:44):
of episode, whatever it is, by herself. How does she
really do? And did she act as if it was
her first time?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
She did not. All seven years of her experience showed
out to me. And so.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
There was I did, and Coppin could tell you. I
didn't say anything that would have made her reconsider doing
it again because I had no reason to. I didn't
make anything up. I didn't, you know, get super hard
(17:22):
or whatever, like I didn't I mean, I think that
you know and this again, this is this message for
you know, anyone is out there that's listening. As long
as you show up as your true self, your authentic self,
speak your your and I hate to say this term,
but your truth. And I say that because sometimes we
(17:44):
need to understand what truth really is, like we really
need to pray about it and whatever.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
It might be.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
But as long as you spend you know, stay you
know who you are in that moment, and not fabricate
and not over extend and try to make it up
and make it sound glamorous if you will, that your
message can get across. And I believe that confidence message
(18:10):
you know had gotten across and they hit in the
right spot, excuse me.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
And so in that space, there.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Was no reason for me to come off as the
horrible human being I might have been in the past.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I e.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Someone that wanted perfection. I'm sorry I went the whole
long route just to get to the one word of perfection.
But I needed to paint the picture right of what
is the idea of perfection?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Again? Is it a fallacy? Is it something fantasy? Is
it something that's not totally real? You know, So if
you believe that your spouse, if you believe that the
person you're in a relationship with, you know, is the
closest vision of perfection, the closest why in the world
(19:08):
would you create a moment that would totally destroy that.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
You unravel it right.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
You know, there's a poem that I had to learn
years ago. I think it's about the weaver, and you know,
it talks about how things are being woven and up
and down and there's twisting, there's turns, and it just
doesn't seem to be pretty. You know, it looks imperfect,
(19:41):
you know what I mean, And it's not to you
get to the very very end that you're able to
turn it around and see the perfection in it. So likewise,
something that looks perfect, something that looks all put together.
I'm thinking of a painting, I'm thinking of a beautiful rug.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
I'm thinking of any piece of.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
Artwork, whether it's a fiber artwork like crochet or needle
point or whatever, because I used to do some of
those things. So I would get frustrated because in the
in the midst of it, it looks like crap. You
turn it over and it, you know, the underside looks
like crap. The back of a painting does not look
as beautiful as the front side. So you're going for perfection.
(20:25):
But like all sides are not perfect, you know. So
you know, the underside of a rug doesn't is not perfect, definitely,
the underside of needlework because you're snipping and changing things
around and it's just a bunch of knots here and there.
It doesn't look perfect, it doesn't look well put together.
(20:46):
But there is a perfect side to it, there is
something beautiful out of it.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
But when you're you.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
Know, as I said before, when you're striving for perfection,
that's when you miss the mark. You miss the mark,
especially you know, as believers, you know, I can't figure
out perfection because I'm not perfect. So how can I
strive for perfection when I'm not perfect? So my vision
of perfection is not perfect. My vision of perfection is imperfect.
(21:20):
It's actually I am in it. You know, it's all
about me, And that's not a partnership. That's not a
togetherness if I'm trying to be perfect, because my vision
of perfection is not going to be equal to my
partner's vision of perfection. Not in always we both might
be thinking of the big old house on the hill,
(21:42):
you know, would you say thirty acres, you know, and whatever,
and that might sound like the perfect thing for us.
But even with that, my perfect vision wing out the weeds.
I don't want to see not a dandelion. I don't
(22:02):
want to see a crab grass. I don't want no.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
Animals, no bugs in the grass.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
You know.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
That's why we're gonna have an astro turf.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
So I don't even want astro turf. I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Well, you got to give up something.
Speaker 5 (22:19):
But I'm in my mind and my perfection of it
at all, it's all, you know, it's not totally flat.
I've got some you know, things going on. I want
some trees and things like that, but I don't want
broken limbs, you know what I mean. So it's like,
what is perfection? Because I'm not gonna in real world,
(22:41):
I'm not gonna have that. It's not going to be
the the picture from you.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Know, the like you said, the.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
Art gallery, you know what I mean. But that that's
what people paint. They don't paint pictures of a whole
bunch of weeds and voles and moles and with some
other things we have around ground hogs crawling around and
creating potholes and you know whatnot we don't think about.
Oh a storm just came through, and now that half
(23:10):
the trees have fallen over. Yeah, and there's leaves and everything. No,
that's not the picture of perfection that we have, and
that's not the reality, is what you're stating, right, So,
you know, being true, being authentic, Hello, my thirty acres
(23:33):
is not. It's gonna be real authentic.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
I mean authenticity would be weeds, dandy lions, you know,
crab grass don't want it, brown spots, Yeah, it will
be all.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
The above, dips and valleys, and it.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Might even have you know, bees that make pives underneath
the grass or like you know, so ant hills. Yeah,
who knows, who knows? Squirrels we might have. We might
bring the squirrels with us. Who knows, because these squirrels
are retarded.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Wild you know. So you know who knows skunks.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Whatever those around here don't.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
Like those, you know, so so dear deer ticks, frogs,
you know a kind of cute that we have around the.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Little salamanders like it doesn't you know?
Speaker 3 (24:25):
So, so I think it comes down to as you're
staying confer what is your image of perfection? And sometimes
that image of perfection and most importantly because even the
partnership that you have with your grass, you can't control that.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
You can't control that at all. Like like, and I'll
give you an example before we let you all go.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
There's this family that we look at on on YouTube
every week, right, and we notice that for one, they
have like they just moved to a new crib, but
it's just like one Patrick Gras I said, just won't grow.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
Cut.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
But then recently they have these mushrooms that's been growing
and the husband he googled it and the mushrooms are
supposed to be deadly to people, right, And one one
show it was only one mushroom, the last one we
just looked at or whatever. The most recent one we
just watched it had four of them. He said, Now
(25:26):
four people could be dead, right. And So the reason
why I'm saying that because sometimes what you think could
be perfect or whatever it is, if you don't nurture it,
if you don't take care of it, whatever it is,
that part that you don't nurture, that you don't tend
(25:49):
to or whatever it is, can start to spread and
kill whatever else is going on around it, you know,
So if you don't take the time and so, granted,
Kyp and I are talking about from a perspective of
marriage because of she and I, right, but I have
(26:11):
also taken the same mentality towards the relationship that I
have with my kids. I've taken a relationship that you know,
this idea with all of my family members, like you know, so,
at what point in time do you start to change
the narrative, especially how rough and tumble things seem like
in life.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Right now?
Speaker 3 (26:28):
You have to be that light and continue to help
grow everyone else around you. Now, granted in that you're
gonna have some haters, and welcome to haters, because guess
what that means that you're doing something right. You know,
and understand that your legacy, especially for those of us
that are concerned about it, it's gonna live on longer
(26:51):
than it would be it if you don't do anything.
You know, So the idea is, you know, the the
your legacy, your name only lasts two or three generations
after you. And so when Kauf and I sit down,
we talked about this in the past, not too long ago,
about how there are some family members that we can
(27:14):
still laugh and joke about and we refer to every
now and then to our kids or whatever it might be.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Then there are some family members that Dad.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
I totally forgot about them, Oh wow, Like you know,
because they may not have affected our lives in a
manner for us to constantly talk about them and to have.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Their memory continue to live on.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
That doesn't mean that they didn't affect us, but it
just didn't affect us in a meaningful way for that
time in our life.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
So make the time, take the time, create the time to.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Say, hey, you know what, I Am going to make
a checkerge in someone's life and have it and allow
it to grow. Be open mind enough to allow it
to grow, because it's gonna grow in more ways than
you ever intend and expect. And so and you'll hear
in future episodes very shortly how even some of the
(28:20):
things that I've spoken about has dwindled down to Kafa,
and Kafa even has been allowing it to grow a
little bit. So that's just a tidbit for y'all to
listen to new episodes coming up. So, but that's really
about it, y'all. I mean, I thank y'all very much
for listening today, and I hope that y'all enjoy part two.
(28:40):
And as y'all can still hear, I'm coughing and everything else. Still,
I keep hitting the mute on the button. I mean
hitting the mute button, and my voice sounds all.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
That's all I hear.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
So, but I thank y'all for listening, and I thank
y'all for supporting Kafa.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
They're her journey.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
I was greatly appreciate it, and hopefully y'all can give
her a round of applause, you know, for a job
well done.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Thank you, Maries, You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Kauf and anything else.
Speaker 5 (29:22):
Kafa, Nope, I just want to say I love you
very much and I hope you feel better real soon.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
We'll see about that. We'll talk to you all later.
Speaker 5 (29:33):
Bye.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of a No
Fruit podcast, where we bring you fruitful conversations, ripen wisdom
and love that's deeply rooted.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave
us a review, and share it.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
With someone who could use a little inspiration in their death.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
Until next time, stay rooted in love and remember every
seed you plant today shapes the fruit of tomorrow.
Let's talk God about loving thement the way of God.
In send life expeerience, we show love. God, help transform.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
What's going on, y'all. We're back. I'm back.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
I still not feeling the greatest, and.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I have to tell y'all that this is actually.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Gonna be part two of what Kafa spoke about in
the last episode talking about partnership and whatnot.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Perfection.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yeah that.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
And right now I'm not perfect to do this episode,
but this is something that I would like to talk
about today, in this partnership versus perfection. When you are
in a true partnership, a real, true partnership with your partner,
(01:30):
the one that you love, a partnership with yourself. Sometimes
we have to partner with ourselves in a partnership with God.
One of the things that you need to do, in
my estimation, is that you need to show up.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I have to.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Say that on the air that even with me not
being one hundred percent last week, my partner, even though
she didn't feel as bad as I did, nowhere near
as bad as I did, but she showed up in
(02:15):
this situation right now, even though I don't feel the greatest,
but I'm showing up a lot of times that part
is showing up and not trying to be perfect in
your show up. It means a lot more in that
(02:37):
moment than it does for that situation to be as
perfect as possible, because sometimes of us waiting for perfection,
it causes another p word, procrastination exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
You know.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
And so so I just wanted to piggyback a little
bit off of what Kappa has spoke about because I
didn't want to get into if you know this, this
episode is not the the newer format of Hey, this
is what we're going to talk about, y'all, whatever it is.
I went straight into the intro and I'm about let's
(03:15):
get it because it's all about showing up, and it's
actually part two.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
And I believe that.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Personally showing up one for myself in this very moment,
it's like, all right, Maurice, we've been down for long enough.
Let's push through just a little bit more, push through
a little bit more. Also showing up for my partner,
(03:50):
being my wife in this situation, she, in my opinion
and confin is here. She can speak for herself, but
she prefers to have our show to continually show our
partnership through life. She's not truly, truly, truly interested in
(04:13):
doing it solo. And so she is one thousand percent
committed to what we present to each and every one
of you. And then then the last part of this is,
which is I believe, pray. The most important part is
my commitment to God and understanding that His people need
(04:34):
to be shown, need to be expressed that no matter
is the situation, no matter what it looks like that
could be holding you back or whatever it is, as
long as you continue to just show up, he's gonna make.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
A way out of no way.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
Yeah, he'll fill in for those times when you don't
feel like you have it all together, when you feel
like you're not perfect, he will come in and he'll
step right in and make it, make it perfect, make
it better, make it you know where it should be.
And I think that's that's key. I'm so glad that
(05:08):
Maurice is back with us. As you can hear, he's
not feeling the best, but he's pressing through. We're using
all the P words today. He's certainly pressing through. And
you know, putting God first and understanding that you know
the purpose, the mission, the call is a lot greater
(05:29):
than how our body may feel. The purpose, the mission,
the call, the pursuit, you know, has to be greater
than whatever is going on in our own little lives,
because it is so much larger.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Than just us.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
So I think that's you know, so commendable that Maurice
is here and he's you know again and pushing through
even with all the things that may be going on, coughing,
post nasal drip, you know, all of those things. I
had some of that last time. In the last show,
I had a lot of post nasal drip, so I
do apologize for that. But again all the p words,
(06:17):
but yeah, I think showing up for one another, showing
up for ourselves, but the root of it all is
showing up for God, like Maurice is saying, you know,
and putting God first and acknowledging who He is and
where He is in our lives. That as I said
(06:40):
in the last show, that we're not perfect, not perfect
beings or in any manner, that we're just striving to
be better, you know, and it's God that makes us better.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
So and I think something else as we're showing up
and not worrying about being perfect, but we're also accountable
to one another. And if you want people to be
(07:19):
in a position to be able to trust you, to
depend on you to, you know, whatever it might be,
you have to be able to be accountable. You have
to be able to be accountable for your actions, how
you speak to one another, how you deal with the
situation or whatever it is. And I commend Kafa. I mean,
(07:40):
she'll tell you that. I commend her on showing up,
you know, not only with the It's interesting because I
haven't been feeling well for a while. I have been
in pain. I have been challenge health wise for a while.
(08:01):
And so the interview that she had done by herself,
the you know one interview, I think it was Lisa Watson.
I believe it was, I mean Linda Sutton. I'm sorry
lean the Sutton CONFI did it by herself, you know.
And then again, like I said, the last episode, so
(08:24):
you know, I haven't been right in a minute, and
I think some of that has been for me to
sit back and be quiet for a minute and just
hear from God in certain situations, in certain places and spaces.
And but again Kafa probably has been dealing with her
(08:44):
own God speak, if you will, God conversations of like, hey,
you know what, you can go through this stuff on
your own. You can see yourself go the extra mile
and be able to handle an interview and a show
all by yourself if you're able to, you know. And
so sometimes we don't understand that, you know that God
(09:06):
is also showing what our other capabilities are. And sometimes
if you want something bad enough, are you going to
push through enough?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
You know? And so y'all can't see Coffe shaking ahead.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
But you know because Kapfa in the past, I say, hey,
you know what, Cof, you could do it on your own.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
You could do X, Y and Z whatever. She's like, No, Marie,
I might to deal with you, but.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
She's shown that she is more than capable of handling it,
way more than she probably even give herself credit for.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
And I think what happened was what Maurice is alluding to.
For some time he would say to me, you know, Kaf,
you want to go downstairs and record your own show. No, Marisa,
don't you know, Coff? You know, maybe I should do
you know, a show from the men's you know, husband's
point of view, and you can do a show from
the wife's point of view. No, Maurice, we went into
this together. You know, we're married to each other. We're
(10:04):
you know, doing a marriage podcast, talking to people about
our experiences as a married couple, not just hey, this
is the wife's point of view, et cetera. So all
these times he's presenting things in you know, and trying
to encourage me and empower me to do some things
(10:24):
out on my own, and I have shied away from
it numerous times. As many times as I could, I
shied away and step back. There were times even when
I was like, Okay, well we just won't have a
show then, because I'm not going down there to do
that on my own. But as Maurica said, you know,
I've been doing some work on my own and trying
(10:46):
to understand my purpose and what God has for me
and what my voice is in this world, in life
and in this world of podcasting. So God created this
perfect storm, you know. So there's anything perfect, it certainly
came from God, and he created this perfect storm. As
Mara said, you know, he had been battling some physical
(11:07):
pain where he hadn't been feeling well, and then some
other things had come upon that he didn't have much
of a voice didn't have much energy, and we had
some shows that needed to be done, so I pressed through.
Something came upon me, and I felt more confident in
(11:31):
it all and didn't want to deny our guests the
benefit of doing the show. We had already canceled on
her once because of not feeling well and some other
things that were going on within the family, and I
didn't want to cancel on her again. I thought, you know,
she was diligent enough to follow up with us and reschedule,
(11:56):
so if one of us was okay, then I tried
to press through. I know she wanted you to be there, Maurice,
but you know, I think I, you know, got through
the interview and held it down.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
You know, maybe we'll bring her back on the show
where she can.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
Talk to the both of us if need be, and
if that's what the cards, you know align. And then
the next perfect storm was again that Maurice wasn't feeling
good yet again, and I was able to get the
show you know, done without him, and you know, took
(12:32):
a couple of little lessons of Maurice sitting down with
me and saying, hey, press this button, do this, and
those types of things. Some dry runs things like that
before I was able to, you know, get up and
do it on my own. But again, that was the
perfect storm. You know, those things kind of fell into
(12:53):
place and fell in my lap, and I didn't run
away from it. I think because it kind of happened
that way. That just me and my personality. I'm kind
of I deal with things as they happen. I'm not
necessarily the best planner. I can do planning, but sometimes I'm,
(13:16):
as Maurice says, I'm a reactionary. So this all happened
and it's just like, Okay, well what are you going
to do?
Speaker 4 (13:23):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 5 (13:25):
So I prayed about it, and you know, along with
all the other things that I had been looking at
in my life, decided to step up and do it.
You know, I enjoy podcasting. I enjoy talking to you
all and sharing information about our story, information about our life,
(13:48):
hoping that it helps you along the way. As I said, like,
we didn't have a whole lot of people to lean
on and glean on when it comes to marriage, when
it comes to relationships. So I'm happy to share our
story so that you can learn from us the things
that we did. Well, you can decide to try to
(14:08):
pick those things up in places that we didn't do well,
you can hopefully not repeat those things and learn from them.
So that's my story.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Yeah, So you know, all this being said because I
think she did such a wonderful job on.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Partnership versus perfection. And I was like, all right, let me.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Expand upon it just a little bit because in that
moment of partnership, and I'm not going to sit here
and say that confident oh perfectly, because one we already
believe that nothing is perfect, right. But as I said
(14:59):
to her, there's nothing there's no critique, there's no hey,
you could have done this better. It's all about how
she felt, how she ran with the show. Nothing like
there's And so this is the other part of partnership
of being able to say, hey, Bib, you did a
(15:23):
great job, you know, even if you were a little
gun shy, even if you were a little apprehensive, and
you may not really wanted to do it, but you
stepped up to the plate and you performed.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
You broke a leg, right, you know.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
So there were times in our relationship where I didn't
always congratulate right even you know, and I had and
it's funny because as we're talking and I asked her,
I sat her down the other day and just like,
how do you think you've done first? And sometimes I
(16:02):
asked that and then she'll kind of play the fence
a little bit. I did, okay, but I could have
done this or whatever it is, and then in the past,
you know, I would say something that kind of like
almost wipes out the confidence, you know, And so I've
(16:24):
had to learn and grow and mature in that space
of like, hey, you know, Maurice, in all reality, only
because you have another show that you do by yourself,
that doesn't mean that's perfect. Like you're used to doing that,
like you're used to doing stuff by yourself. This is
conference first time of doing this show, doing this type
(16:44):
of episode, whatever it is, by herself. How does she
really do? And did she act as if it was
her first time?
Speaker 2 (16:53):
She did not. All seven years of her experience showed
out to me. And so.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
There was I did, and Coppin could tell you. I
didn't say anything that would have made her reconsider doing
it again because I had no reason to. I didn't
make anything up. I didn't, you know, get super hard
(17:22):
or whatever, like I didn't I mean, I think that
you know and this again, this is this message for
you know, anyone is out there that's listening. As long
as you show up as your true self, your authentic self,
speak your your and I hate to say this term,
but your truth. And I say that because sometimes we
(17:44):
need to understand what truth really is, like we really
need to pray about it and whatever.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
It might be.
Speaker 3 (17:49):
But as long as you spend you know, stay you
know who you are in that moment, and not fabricate
and not over extend and try to make it up
and make it sound glamorous if you will, that your
message can get across. And I believe that confidence message
(18:10):
you know had gotten across and they hit in the
right spot, excuse me.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
And so in that space, there.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Was no reason for me to come off as the
horrible human being I might have been in the past.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I e.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Someone that wanted perfection. I'm sorry I went the whole
long route just to get to the one word of perfection.
But I needed to paint the picture right of what
is the idea of perfection?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Again? Is it a fallacy? Is it something fantasy? Is
it something that's not totally real? You know, So if
you believe that your spouse, if you believe that the
person you're in a relationship with, you know, is the
closest vision of perfection, the closest why in the world
(19:08):
would you create a moment that would totally destroy that.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
You unravel it right.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
You know, there's a poem that I had to learn
years ago. I think it's about the weaver, and you know,
it talks about how things are being woven and up
and down and there's twisting, there's turns, and it just
doesn't seem to be pretty. You know, it looks imperfect,
(19:41):
you know what I mean, And it's not to you
get to the very very end that you're able to
turn it around and see the perfection in it. So likewise,
something that looks perfect, something that looks all put together.
I'm thinking of a painting, I'm thinking of a beautiful rug.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
I'm thinking of any piece of.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
Artwork, whether it's a fiber artwork like crochet or needle
point or whatever, because I used to do some of
those things. So I would get frustrated because in the
in the midst of it, it looks like crap. You
turn it over and it, you know, the underside looks
like crap. The back of a painting does not look
as beautiful as the front side. So you're going for perfection.
(20:25):
But like all sides are not perfect, you know. So
you know, the underside of a rug doesn't is not perfect, definitely,
the underside of needlework because you're snipping and changing things
around and it's just a bunch of knots here and there.
It doesn't look perfect, it doesn't look well put together.
(20:46):
But there is a perfect side to it, there is
something beautiful out of it.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
But when you're you.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
Know, as I said before, when you're striving for perfection,
that's when you miss the mark. You miss the mark,
especially you know, as believers, you know, I can't figure
out perfection because I'm not perfect. So how can I
strive for perfection when I'm not perfect? So my vision
of perfection is not perfect. My vision of perfection is imperfect.
(21:20):
It's actually I am in it. You know, it's all
about me, And that's not a partnership. That's not a
togetherness if I'm trying to be perfect, because my vision
of perfection is not going to be equal to my
partner's vision of perfection. Not in always we both might
be thinking of the big old house on the hill,
(21:42):
you know, would you say thirty acres, you know, and whatever,
and that might sound like the perfect thing for us.
But even with that, my perfect vision wing out the weeds.
I don't want to see not a dandelion. I don't
(22:02):
want to see a crab grass. I don't want no.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
Animals, no bugs in the grass.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
You know.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
That's why we're gonna have an astro turf.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
So I don't even want astro turf. I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Well, you got to give up something.
Speaker 5 (22:19):
But I'm in my mind and my perfection of it
at all, it's all, you know, it's not totally flat.
I've got some you know, things going on. I want
some trees and things like that, but I don't want
broken limbs, you know what I mean. So it's like,
what is perfection? Because I'm not gonna in real world,
(22:41):
I'm not gonna have that. It's not going to be
the the picture from you.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Know, the like you said, the.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
Art gallery, you know what I mean. But that that's
what people paint. They don't paint pictures of a whole
bunch of weeds and voles and moles and with some
other things we have around ground hogs crawling around and
creating potholes and you know whatnot we don't think about.
Oh a storm just came through, and now that half
(23:10):
the trees have fallen over. Yeah, and there's leaves and everything. No,
that's not the picture of perfection that we have, and
that's not the reality, is what you're stating, right, So,
you know, being true, being authentic, Hello, my thirty acres
(23:33):
is not. It's gonna be real authentic.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
I mean authenticity would be weeds, dandy lions, you know,
crab grass don't want it, brown spots, Yeah, it will
be all.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
The above, dips and valleys, and it.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Might even have you know, bees that make pives underneath
the grass or like you know, so ant hills. Yeah,
who knows, who knows? Squirrels we might have. We might
bring the squirrels with us. Who knows, because these squirrels
are retarded.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Wild you know. So you know who knows skunks.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Whatever those around here don't.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
Like those, you know, so so dear deer ticks, frogs,
you know a kind of cute that we have around the.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Little salamanders like it doesn't you know?
Speaker 3 (24:25):
So, so I think it comes down to as you're
staying confer what is your image of perfection? And sometimes
that image of perfection and most importantly because even the
partnership that you have with your grass, you can't control that.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
You can't control that at all. Like like, and I'll
give you an example before we let you all go.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
There's this family that we look at on on YouTube
every week, right, and we notice that for one, they
have like they just moved to a new crib, but
it's just like one Patrick Gras I said, just won't grow.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
Cut.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
But then recently they have these mushrooms that's been growing
and the husband he googled it and the mushrooms are
supposed to be deadly to people, right, And one one
show it was only one mushroom, the last one we
just looked at or whatever. The most recent one we
just watched it had four of them. He said, Now
(25:26):
four people could be dead, right. And So the reason
why I'm saying that because sometimes what you think could
be perfect or whatever it is, if you don't nurture it,
if you don't take care of it, whatever it is,
that part that you don't nurture, that you don't tend
(25:49):
to or whatever it is, can start to spread and
kill whatever else is going on around it, you know,
So if you don't take the time and so, granted,
Kyp and I are talking about from a perspective of
marriage because of she and I, right, but I have
(26:11):
also taken the same mentality towards the relationship that I
have with my kids. I've taken a relationship that you know,
this idea with all of my family members, like you know, so,
at what point in time do you start to change
the narrative, especially how rough and tumble things seem like
in life.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Right now?
Speaker 3 (26:28):
You have to be that light and continue to help
grow everyone else around you. Now, granted in that you're
gonna have some haters, and welcome to haters, because guess
what that means that you're doing something right. You know,
and understand that your legacy, especially for those of us
that are concerned about it, it's gonna live on longer
(26:51):
than it would be it if you don't do anything.
You know, So the idea is, you know, the the
your legacy, your name only lasts two or three generations
after you. And so when Kauf and I sit down,
we talked about this in the past, not too long ago,
about how there are some family members that we can
(27:14):
still laugh and joke about and we refer to every
now and then to our kids or whatever it might be.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Then there are some family members that Dad.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
I totally forgot about them, Oh wow, Like you know,
because they may not have affected our lives in a
manner for us to constantly talk about them and to have.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Their memory continue to live on.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
That doesn't mean that they didn't affect us, but it
just didn't affect us in a meaningful way for that
time in our life.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
So make the time, take the time, create the time to.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Say, hey, you know what, I Am going to make
a checkerge in someone's life and have it and allow
it to grow. Be open mind enough to allow it
to grow, because it's gonna grow in more ways than
you ever intend and expect. And so and you'll hear
in future episodes very shortly how even some of the
(28:20):
things that I've spoken about has dwindled down to Kafa,
and Kafa even has been allowing it to grow a
little bit. So that's just a tidbit for y'all to
listen to new episodes coming up. So, but that's really
about it, y'all. I mean, I thank y'all very much
for listening today, and I hope that y'all enjoy part two.
(28:40):
And as y'all can still hear, I'm coughing and everything else. Still,
I keep hitting the mute on the button. I mean
hitting the mute button, and my voice sounds all.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
That's all I hear.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
So, but I thank y'all for listening, and I thank
y'all for supporting Kafa.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
They're her journey.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
I was greatly appreciate it, and hopefully y'all can give
her a round of applause, you know, for a job
well done.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Thank you, Maries, You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Kauf and anything else.
Speaker 5 (29:22):
Kafa, Nope, I just want to say I love you
very much and I hope you feel better real soon.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
We'll see about that. We'll talk to you all later.
Speaker 5 (29:33):
Bye.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of a No
Fruit podcast, where we bring you fruitful conversations, ripen wisdom
and love that's deeply rooted.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave
us a review, and share it.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
With someone who could use a little inspiration in their death.
Speaker 4 (29:48):
Until next time, stay rooted in love and remember every
seed you plant today shapes the fruit of tomorrow.
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