Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
If love never challenges you, it's not growing you.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Let's talk about love and live man the way of God.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Intend like experience to share God God to help your speechans. Hey, y'all,
what love got to do with it?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Challenge challenge one.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
So my question to you is what is the greatest
challenge that you think you've had you might have had
in your relationship. My greatest challenge is beating Kafa and Scrabble,
which I think we've talked about before. I think the
other greatest challenge I've had, uh we has playing Uno.
(00:58):
I think that's a that's a that's a challenge because
I you know, I like to try to hide cars
in my sleep. Also, I think playing that Game of
Life I think we talked about too, you know that
too where we played with the kids and that ended
up being a five hour tour, like you know, Gillikind's Island,
you know. But I think when we play those type
(01:20):
of things or do those type of things, I start
to learn a little bit more about myself m and
to be honest, just sometimes how uptight I could be
in certain situations because you know, everyone wants to win,
(01:48):
you know. But and so the fun side of me
is like, hey, this ain't nothing. We're playing you know,
whatever it is. But sometimes the competitor is like, yo,
I gotta just dominate the situation, right. But it's like, hey,
but we got Maurice, we got little kids here, we
got we got the kids, right, let them do something.
So it just you know, and then you just got
(02:12):
to realize, like Maurice, even though you have a lot
of words, Kappa got way more words than you, and
she knows how to utilize them. Things and scrabble. So
there are some things that I've had to learn about
myself and just you know, sacrificing a game or just
being humble or whatever it is. And I think those
(02:33):
type of things because love transforms you into something else.
It allows you to say, you know what, this is
just a game, This is just for fun. Everything doesn't
have to be so competitive. So I think that's one
(02:56):
of the things that I've had to learn, is to
you don't pull back.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
And I think in marriage, you know, in any relationship,
it's all about how you go at the game that
makes the difference. So family Game Night and the Chisholm
household and shout out to all those who have been
(03:24):
challengers when it's household against household, what it's about have
always been like more than just a family game. It's
you know, Maurice does really pull out multiple characters in everybody.
(03:44):
You know, he should certainly get an award for acting
during the family Game nights because he.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
He he.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Transforms is the word that he said in reference to love,
but he transforms into a whole other person, a whole
other being, and it may a game, and it makes
the experience that much more fun. It's distraction, it is,
but it's to the point where we know you're going
to cheat, we know you're going to hide cards, we
(04:15):
know you're going to make up rules that are really
not rules. So you can't enter into family Game night
in the ship some household with like seriousness. You know,
you have to kind of be laid back and just
enjoy because it's it's gonna something, something's going to be
(04:35):
there and give and whatnot. The only games I think
that I guess you can't. I haven't figured out how
you cheat at those are the video games, so.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
There's no way to. I mean even with the other games,
I don't really cheat. It's just that I just like
as conversation. I just make it interesting, right, you know.
And so because the whole point of the game is
to have fun, right and if you can't laugh and
you know, do baby Shark dances during it? Like you know,
(05:08):
whatever it is, you know, you gotta you gotta have
some enjoyment. You know. Even though if if you're following
any of us on social media, there are plenty of
times where you know, the word challenge comes out, you know,
to our friends, you know, and so they're like, yo,
what's up exactly? People got words right, They're ready to
(05:31):
throw it down. But no one has been a match
for us yet, not really. But that's because we're so competitive.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Alone, you know, I think again, because of that's a
chalce training of y'all out there who wants to try.
I think the fun of it is that you bring
fun to it. So again, it's not about who wins
the game.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
It isn't, not really, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
It's just about how much fun we can have. Again,
in the characters that Maurice brings out. I like to change,
you know, at least for Uno. I like to change
up the rules. So I love House Rules edition of Uno,
where you get to, you know, do some other things,
and we've had some new games that have come up
(06:26):
that that challenge us, because we have had some decks
of Uno that we haven't even played yet.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Because well, first of all, I am the directions.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
The directions are challenging.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Well, well, if if you already know that I collect transformers,
it's been ridiculous, right, and some of that is my
childhood stuff and whatever. Right, that's number one. But the
other thing that I collect are Uno cards. If I
see a whole new Uno now, the only thing I
haven't got all of them.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
There's been a few.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Of passed on. But but if the game, so I'll
put it like this, if the game itself has changed,
I've gotten those. Now, have I gotten every single deck
with all these different characters or whatever? I have not,
But if the game and self has changed, you know,
the twist or the you know you're gonna die, you know,
(07:22):
like stuff like that, you know, because I can't remember
what is the name of that game where where it's
like you just you just pluck forever, like the game
just doesn't end. Oh, I can't remember the name of
the stupid game it's but anyway, it's those type of situations.
But I enjoy those those things because of it brings
(07:45):
the family together. I look of ways to bring us together.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
It allows us to grow to see another side of
each other. We've learned a lot about our family, and
our family family dynamic sitting around the dinner table, but
not having dinner but games. You know, we know that
one child doesn't like to lose. Another child, you know,
will play one or two rounds and they could care less.
(08:08):
You know, it's just here because I'm here, but I
don't want to stop playing, but I don't care to
win or lose. I'm putting down cards and giving out
clues that are not even real clues, Like you know,
I think it was mister Smith in the library. Well
there is no mister Smith in this game, so why
would you give out that clue? You know? So, yeah,
(08:32):
it was that. Those are challenges that we've had to overcome.
But with that challenge, there's been lots of growth with
us as parents that you know, as just individuals. I'm
learning a whole whole whole lot in that way. And
a lot of times people don't like the word challenge,
(08:54):
but it is. But I think especially you know, if
you look at it as a game. As you look
at it as a place to grow, then you can
welcome it a little bit differently.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
You know, Like, but why don't they like the word challenge?
Because challenge, you're is often referred to or or associated
with the word discomfort, right, you know, always comfortable in
a challenge, right, because it's unfamiliar, it is, you know,
it's something that you're not used to. So most people
(09:29):
are not They're not comfortable with being uncomfortable, right, you know.
So I think that's why people may not like the
word challenge.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
I mean, I think again, it's how do I put this?
You know, you're being put up, you know, against somebody else,
you know, like you say, hey, I challenge you to
thumb wrestle, to arm rustle, you know what I mean.
So ultimately it's like you want to win. You don't
(10:00):
want to be the loser. So I think that pressure.
But I think it's all about how you look at it.
Is if you look at it as if hey, I'm
going to grow from this experience. I'll learn where my
weaknesses are so that I can get better later on.
You know, And if you don't have those challenges, then
(10:23):
you could be very well walking around thinking everything is fine.
And you have that a lot of times in marriage
where you're walking around thinking everything is fine, and then
a challenge comes up and you're like, it kind of
rocks your boat a little bit. It shakes you up
a little bit, and it allows you to look at
things and analyze what might need to change.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
So and you're just making me think about our own life, right,
and so because of we've had so many different challenges
throughout our marriage, feels like constantly that when we get
(11:14):
that moment where it seems like there could be a
moment of peace and quiet, that we realize that, at
least for myself, I get to realize how stretched I've
become and how much more knowledgeable I've had I've had
(11:36):
to become, and and in those situations for others, how
much I've been a point of reference. You know, Marie
is how would you do? How would you be? How
would you feel? How would you respond? How you know?
So like like like the other day, Kuf and I
(11:58):
we had a a friend who called me about an opportunity, right,
and in that moment, Coffin I was able to give
some ideas that they never consider right. And even though
they thought that they had a little bit on the ball,
but then when they heard the perspective that Coffin I had,
(12:21):
they'd be like, oh wow, that's different. And some of
that is based off of our life experiences because of
all the stuff we've dealt with, right, And so one
of the things that I don't want any of you
out there that's listening is to discount the challenges that
you've been through, not just individually, but how you've been
(12:43):
able to work through it as a team. Because reality
of your team, right, it might be a team of two,
maybe it's a team of four like us, you know,
with the two kids, you know, but a lot of
times they bow out, you know, or and or because
we're to parents, we take more of a lead, even
their own issues, we've taken more of a lead, you
(13:06):
know whatever in most cases you know. So and because
of that, and because of our situations, I believe cop
that you know our battle wounds, if you will, we've
(13:28):
been able to really mask and be able to allow
those those challenges and moments of discomfort allow us to
enjoy life even more. For especially for where we are today.
They say, you know what, twenty five years but nothing right,
(13:51):
you know now because we've been through it, right, you know.
And so now when we take and we listen to
some of y'all you know that are not ass not
being married as long, or maybe not in relationships as long,
whatever it is, we're like, no, Like we could sit
here and say it's nothing. But if you can get
through that one moment where somebody calls you a ding dong,
(14:14):
you know, whatever it is, you'll be all right, It'll
be okay, it's just for the moment. Just go stand
in the corner for a moment, say in the corner
for a moment, drink a cup of you know, green
tea and just relax for a moment. Drink some chemra
meal tea maybe or Copfa's whole thing of drinking some
hot chocolates one hundred degrees outside. She's still drinking hot chocolate.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
You're drinking tea.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
You're drinking you know.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
So now the difference is Kafa will have a hot
cup of soup.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
I will not. I was delicious, but so so so yeah.
So I think those are things that that if we
understand that we have gone through this stuff together and
we have learned through that, and when it's time for
us to sit down and have an un gain a
(15:08):
game of life, a game of clue, or whatever it is.
Then we can really enjoy it because in that moment,
we are able to enjoy each other's company, do something
different that's not watching TV. And even though it kind
(15:32):
of turns off some of the nonsense stuff or whatever else,
but it also gives us an idea of how the
person works in a certain situation, with strategies they might
implement in certain situations, you know. And I think that's
some of the things that is key in life understanding,
Like you know, do I know every move Conford is
(15:52):
gonna make? No, I don't. I don't, and I'm not
gonna pump it like I do. But there are some
things that I can I can kind of see coming
based off of how she starts off. So if I
could see that, and now I understand that, and now
(16:13):
I can prepare, now I'm ready, right, and we're ready.
And I think those are the things that when we
talk about these challenges and being stretched, because now we see,
all right, CoFe, you've leveled up. All right, My reason's
time for you, right, you know, Kafa, You've gone a
(16:35):
little bit better in that situation. All right, I saw
that that was probably my strength in the beginning. But
here's where I'm weak at. I need to doublop on
this end, you know, so make sure that we're a
lot stronger. So so when I said something about being uncomfortable,
we spend a lot of time being uncomfortable. I can't
even say we're comfortable today, you know. But in that
(17:02):
we're constantly growing, we're constantly evolving, and we've learned how
to not in my opinion, I mean, Kyle, you correct
me if I'm wrong, but you know, I've learned a
lot of not when a situation does come up, of
not putting my finger like, well, you're a fault, you're
the issue, You're just you know whatever. Else. I've been
(17:23):
able to take accountability from my own retardedness. So I
think those are things that helps out when we play
those games that if I do a wrong move, Yo,
here's a green too, and I didn't see you wink
your eye over there, say don't put out the green too,
(17:44):
because they got you know, whatever it is that that's
my fault. That's my issue of not paying attention to
the to the verbal and non verbal.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Cues and we have to give ourselves in each other
grace at that particular time because we're all learning through
this thing called life and we want to grow, we
want to change, we want to evolve, and that's a
good thing. But we're all going to have growing pains
(18:18):
because growth hurts. You know, change hurts. You know, walking
around in shoes is too small because you grew hurts?
It does you know, wearing a pair of pants, a
pair of genes that's too small because you grow? It
is painful. It is so the same thing as as
(18:42):
your relationship is growing. It can be painful. In order
for you to grow and matriculate in life, you have
to take an exam, you have to take a test
in order to get from one grade to the next grade,
you know, to get from one reading level to the
next reading level. And it can be painful for some
some people you know like that. But even after you've
(19:07):
gone through a conflict, even after you've gone through a
stressful time in life, not just in your relationships with
anything in life, take a moment to just sit back
and reflect and kind of figure out, well, what do
I learn from this? Because not every conflict is one
that it's like, oh, I don't want to do that
ever again, because some of them you do want to repeat.
(19:33):
But you can learn from it and say, Okay, well,
next time, if this happens, I'm going to do it
a little bit differently and learn from it in that way.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
You know.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
So what do you learning about yourself? What do you
learn about those who are around you and the other
people that have a part in that with you? What
can they do differently or how can you react to
them differently so that maybe that it's not such a
a huge conflict. Maybe it's not such a huge issue,
(20:06):
or maybe it is, but you just know how to
deal with it a little more gracefully, a little more,
you know, it's not so stressful, you know, because again,
conflict is going to happen with any relationship, you know,
whether it's with your child, with your parent, with your spouse,
with your coworkers, with your supervisor, with the clerk at
(20:28):
the market. You know, there's just days like this. Mama said,
that be days like this. There'd be days like this,
mama said, and somebody else said, it's just one of
those days.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Yes, so my voice cracked and all that. Sorry y'all,
but but you know, hey, we all have ups and
downs and we got to learn how to deal with
them because we can. So we thank you all so
much for listening to another episode of the No Fruit
(21:07):
Podcast and let us know where some of your conflicts
have been and how you've gotten through them.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Mhm, And I can tell you how I got through
mine by taking a nap. Why are you looking around
like that?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I thought you were going to say something much more profound.
I really did.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
No, just that simple. Take a nap.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Take a nap.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
We'll talk to you y'all later. I'm taking nap right now.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of the No
Fruit Podcast, where we bring you fruitful conversations, ripen wisdom
and love that's deeply rooted. We hope today's discussion left
you feeling uplifted, encouraged, and ready to take on life's
journey with purpose. If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget
to subscribe, leave us a review and share it with
someone who could use a little inspiration in their debt.
(21:58):
You can catch up on past episodes, send us your thoughts,
or learn more about us on social media. Until next time,
stay rooted in love and remember every seed you plant
to day, shape to the fruit of tomorrow. Take care
and we'll see you next time.