October 21, 2025 • 28 mins
Ever felt disconnected in your relationship? On this episode, we open up about how a change in environment, like our unforgettable trip to Puerto Rico, helped us reignite the flame in our marriage. We talk about the unexpected shift when our children left home, which pushed us to rediscover our bond and individual selves. Learn how we handled challenges and rebuilt our connection through intentional dating and shared experiences. #BeFruitful #Titus3:14
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- Create intentional “change of scenery” moments to refresh your relationship.
- Prioritize one-on-one time with your spouse to deepen your connection.
- Re-introduce dating rituals, like intimate dinners, to rekindle romance.
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- Break free from routine to keep your relationship vibrant and purposeful.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Sometimes it takes a change of scenery to remind you
that the spark was never gone. It was just bury
under the busyness. One of the things that Puerto Rico
reminded us that love still burns when you feed it attention.
We'll talk about it right after this.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Let's go about love and then the way of God
inten like experience shaw transwan.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Yo yo yo yo. What's going on y'all? So as
you heard us me say about how one of the
things that reminded us that love still burns was Puerto Rico,
But no, honesty, it started before then. And and what
I'm getting at is is sometimes that the change of
(01:03):
scenery can reignite, remind you or whatever it is what's
really going on where y'all really stand? So for us
in our reality to change of scenery, scenery was when
the kids left, they change scenery, they changed you know,
(01:26):
the atmosphere a little bit, because once it went off
to school, it had us in another place, like, all right,
where are we really? It's just us. We're going to talk,
we're going to fight, we're going to eat. You know,
So what is it? You know? What do you want?
(01:47):
And or are you do you just want to sit
here and hold each other and cuddle and watch a
movie or whatever. So I think the change of scenery
helps for you to reignite what you felt like might
have been lost.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Okay, I mean I think it allows you to reconnect
in a lot of different ways. I had something else
in mind, but I lost it. But I think the
focus is what changed. So again, the change of scenery
allows you to change your focus. It allows you to
(02:26):
change what you're seeing every day. So having young children,
you know, adolescents, teenagers on up until like Maray said,
they went away to college, you always had somebody else around.
You always had someone else really to think of and
(02:48):
care for. So that alone time, that one on one time,
that seeing your spouse as as your spouse, you know,
as more than just a parental partner, more than just
a co parent or whatever else goes on. You know,
(03:10):
when you have your children around, that not having them
in the house, having them away for just a few
months at a time allowed us to focus on each other.
It allowed us to say, hey, what do you want
for dinner? You know, and not have to take an
account a lot of other people, what do you want
(03:32):
to do this evening. It's not like, oh, well, this
person has to go off to practice and this person
has to get picked up late from school. There's a
lot of other things that were going on for many,
many years. But you know, having just the two of us,
(03:53):
as the song says, allowed us to to focus again
on one another, allowed us to focus on ourselves and individually,
who are we? No longer just the mom, no longer
just the dad, but so many other things. And I
think with that is why the podcast was able to
(04:15):
come about. I think that is why a lot of
different streams within the business were able to be birthed,
because when we had time to do it and then two,
we had the focus, the energy overall just to to
(04:36):
put some of those things into place.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
When you think about it, though, for yourself, at what
point did things really change? Was it just when they left?
Was it a conversation? Was it a hey, you know
in a minute, you know things aren't going to be
the same. So it's so when the things really changed
for you.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
I think you led the charge, if you will, saying hey,
I want to date my girlfriend again, date my wife.
So we created that atmosphere in our home. So while
we were dating we had some intimate dinners just the
(05:23):
two of us, you know, some by candle lights, some
by soft music or whatever. So we recreated that a
few times, dim the lights, put on restaurant music on
iTunes or whatever Apple, you know music, you know, prepped
a meal together or had a meal, even ordered out
(05:45):
a few times, but sat at the dining room table
just the two of us and was able to look
deep into each other's eyes, was able to have good conversation.
And I think that made a huge, huge difference of
(06:09):
just reconnecting in that place and in that space. I
think that started a lot of it because it allowed
us to look at each other again, reconnecting to our past,
but also connecting to what do we want the rest
of this to look like? You know, what do we
(06:31):
want our future to look like? Because to be real,
you know, you said years ago that you didn't see
us surviving once the kids left the house. You didn't
see that we had a connection that we would be
able to withstand, you know, the test of time. So
(06:55):
I hope that hit somebody's you know, heart and ears
that you know, as blissful as we may seem today,
there were times and there was a season, and there
was a period of time where like again where Maurice
didn't feel as though that we would be, you know
(07:17):
forever that you know, hey, we're kind of here for
the kids, you know, that's what keeps us together. We
don't have anything to talk about, we don't have anything
in common, and it would be over. And I'm not
putting at all all my reason. That's what he expressed.
You know, for myself, I felt isolated. I felt distant
(07:37):
and just again going through the motions, so didn't have
that connection. I was okay with not looking at the
same shows he looked at. I was okay with not
being excited about you know, whatever new song he was
excited about, but being able to have that conversation and
talk about it like, Okay, you're excited about it, but
I don't have to have that same excitement where I
(07:58):
think you wanted me to be just as hype, you
know about whatever you know that TV show game music was,
but I wasn't. But I still listened and entertained what
you may have had to say. But I think sitting
(08:20):
down at that dining room to me, the dining room
table with the soft lighting and soft music and just
having you there, it reminded me again of when we
were dating, even to when we first got married. I
think we had a candlelight dinner when we first got married.
(08:44):
So it just kind of reminded me why we're here.
And that's kind of where things kind of sparked for
me about you.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I mean, I think, excuse me, it might have started
once our oldest went off to school and you're like,
you know, for me, it was like, all right, Maurice,
you know you're here. Things are winding down a little bit,
not as you know, fast paced, not as busy, you know,
(09:18):
all those type of things. And then you know when
our now we did transition some of the energy to now,
you know, our second child, getting them ready for school,
you know, college or whatever it might have been. You know.
So you know, I think in considering, all right, here's
(09:40):
what's going on, this is what we need to do whatever,
And then now that person is out the house, all right,
it's quiet in here. Now I can slow down. Now
I can figure start to figure out who's Maurice again.
And I think that's part the thing that I had
(10:01):
lost a little bit of who I am. And so
when we take a look at the trip to Puerto Rico,
it's very similar of all right, you know, the everybody
went to school, but it's during the pandemic. That pandemic
kind of messed up a lot of that, you know,
to some degree. And then you know, and then from
(10:26):
there we had other challenges. So when we had that
quick little every semester for like two, you know, three
semesters straight where all right, we have a couple of
weeks where they on campus. But now all of a sudden,
there's a whole lot of back and forth and all
that type of stuff. You know, we had glimpses of, hey,
(10:48):
what's up, you know, where we are and what's going on,
and like I said, can we date, Can we go
to the mall and eat and all that type of
stuff without having to worry about something back you know,
you know, or anything like that, or just considering another individual.
So you know, so now you start to have those
(11:09):
moments where, you know, what, I really want those moments back.
And so when we did the trip to Puerto Rico,
you know, and being there on the beach, being there
by the pool, being there in the hotel room as
we look at the storm coming towards us, as we are.
(11:32):
They're just walking down the street as we're there, just
sitting at the table, as you stated, you know, just
speaking to one another, talking to one another, not talking
at each other, not having another type of expectation, enjoying food,
the moment, the atmosphere, whatever it is. That's something totally different.
But that's what it's like when you're dating. It's something different.
(11:55):
You're enjoying it, you're late back or whatever, you know,
when you for us, I know for myself again, you know,
we're married, even though we dated for three years, but
where marriage like, oh wow, this is a whole different vibe.
There's a whole different setting, there's a whole different mindset,
you know. And then but even with that, even though
(12:17):
we were married, but now we are expecting, like almost
as soon as we got married, it's like poof, it's
time for you had to baby, like right now, like
this moment, you know. And so even though we were
married without a kid for over what about nine about
(12:38):
nine ten months, got married in September. Baby were born
in July, so you know, nine ten months, so we
didn't quite make twelve months being married, you know and
being by ourselves. But now in all reality. We got
married in September. Now we have we know, we're pregnant
(13:02):
pretty much by Christmas. You know, that was a Christmas
gift everybody. Hey, here's an ultrasound picture, you know whatever,
And so so now your attitude and everything changes from
let's enjoy us. Well, I know, my attitude change from
(13:24):
let's enjoy us to what is this next step? You know,
let's start thinking about nursery stuff, and let's think about
baby names or whatever else. But we're not thinking about
us anymore, you know, So even in our opportunity to
really think about ourselves, we only had it and all
(13:46):
from essence of responsible for another human being four months maybe,
you know, because as soon as you found out you're pregnant,
now all of a sudden you're changed the way you're eating,
you take invitamin and then like you know, so all
of a sudden you're not you know. So, so only
four months in of our marriage we had to take
(14:08):
care of somebody else. And so now the question is
is for those of you out there who might have
had children prior to you getting married, you know, prior
to you know you're dating. Now you find someone who
has kids, whatever, what are those things that you have
to transition into, you know. And so now the kids
are out the house, do you even know who you are?
(14:30):
Because now you're because you got together for a purpose,
you know, with a mission or whatever it might have been.
In our case, you know, you know, we got married
and then had the kids. But even with that, four
months in, we're pregnant, you know, and now you have
that again responsibility and then because of that and not
(14:54):
understanding the value of a dollar, responsibility even for myself,
you know, just talking about myself, not understanding the responsibility
of a dollar, the rest responsibility of a husband, a
better son, a better brother, whatever it might have been,
you know, let alone a husband and then a father.
Like that's a whole nother vibe, you know. So what
(15:17):
is that like? You know, the first time I'm having
neighbors in a while that I spoke to because prior
to we had neighbors you know where I lived at
other places, but I wasn't talking to anybody, you know.
And then now all of a sudden, where where conversing
with our neighbors All the time we had our neighbors come,
you know, come to our wedding, and this you know,
whatever you know, and so you know, it's it's a
(15:40):
whole lot that that happened at one time. And then
in all reality, I lost myself and who is Maurice?
You know? You wake up like, yeah, I'm more reason,
I'm going to go off and I'm a conquer the world.
Well what does Maurice really want? Though? You know? And
(16:01):
so when we started this podcasting thing, you said, Marie's like,
this is probably the first thing I'm saying. I'm paraphrasing
pretty much, but Marie's this is probably the first thing
that you've ever done where was just you. You know,
this is the first thing that you've had in a
while where it is truly your voice, you control the
narrative or whatever it is, your personality get to come out.
(16:23):
And so when that has happened and me not relying
on other individuals, not having the quote unquote excuses of
responsibility or whatever it is, I was unresponsible for myself.
And then what happened in that moment, just like where
(16:44):
it is, we're school right now, I'm an adult, you know,
student right now, I'm an adult learner and my GPA
is a three point three, and so what happens is
I start to understand, like, hey, Maurice, you really are
an achiever like Marie's. You really have it within you
because now you don't have all the extra responsibilities weighing
(17:06):
you down. And so so with that will never work.
Podcasts won an award, right, you know, with no Fruit podcasts,
We've been nominated, you know, putting ourselves out there, you know,
And so no matter what other stressors has been surrounding us,
(17:27):
because if y'all been around us, y'all know that, it's
like it's almost like, come on, God, please, can we
have just one moment. But there's something that my uncle
said to me the other day. He said, Marie's, regards
of whatever is going on with you, you're probably the
strongest person I know. And he said, because everything has
(17:47):
been thrown at you, you haven't allowed her to break you.
You haven't succumbed to it or whatever it is, you know.
And so there are moments where I feel like I
want to break. There are moments, know what, I just
want to be, you know, I'm just tired, and you know,
my body just like, look, we can't take it them more.
We're gonna be sick. We're calling all sick. Today. You know. Unfortunately,
(18:11):
when it calls our second call sick for a minute,
you know, and it really literally literally does it just
it does call out sick, you know. And so you know,
so I think what happens is, uh, from Maurice, I
lost a lot and just even talking it out loud
with y'all of understanding, like, hey, you know what, I
(18:34):
had to change my persona and my mindset and everything
four months into our marriage and now what is that?
Who is that Maurice? When I still didn't know who
Maurice was, you know at that right, you know. So
(18:55):
I think so once we were able to sit down
and start the process of hey, they're out the house, Hey,
you know what, let's go to the mall. And we
didn't go to I mean when I said we were going
to the marrow, like, we went to a mall that
wasn't It was like an hour hour and a half
away from where we were, you know, where we live,
just because right, And so with that being said, you
(19:21):
start to realize that your time is yours and how
you spend it is how you decide to spend it,
you know, and what is it worth? And so now
it's time to say you know, what, do I really
see myself if this really was my life partner and
I was able to rekindle that thought or that idea.
(19:43):
So now that they're adults and we're definitely not so
worried about them, that a lot Puerto Rico reiterated their
adults for us because now we don't have to be,
you know, hold on so tightly, you know, and so
so I think change of scenery allowed me to say,
(20:09):
all right, am I Race, this is who you are,
this is where you want to be, and let's go
get it.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
I think, you know, outside of Puerto Rico. And we
were putting a lot of emphasis there because that was
kind of our second honeymoon celebration of twenty five years
of being married. But there are a lot of other
things I think that we did that was a change
of scenery that sparked something within us, sparked something within
our relationship. And again, it was just anything that was
(20:40):
out of the norm, anything that wasn't our regular outings
in the change of scenery, so right, you know, you know,
an ac trip, even sometimes we would just drive to
(21:01):
a local park. And I think we've talked about this before,
but just sitting there in the quietness of amongst trees
and grass and nothing else, you don't hear cars zooming by.
I think one of the parks we went to there
was like a train that was kind of off to
the distance. We could hear and see. But even though,
you know, trains can be a little bit soothing of
(21:24):
a sound. But it allowed us just again, not to
be drawn into our phones, not to be drawn into
television in any way, not to be drawn into our kids,
not to be drawn into what's going on with our
aging parents. But it allowed us just one to focus
(21:47):
on each other and then two just to see nature,
to see the hand of God amongst everything. So you
hear a little rustle in the trees, you're like, okay,
what's that, you know, is it the wind just blowing?
Is a squirrel? Is it something else? Do we need
to be alarmed? But again, we were in that moment together,
(22:13):
you know, do we have to get up and go?
And then it started to rain, you know, so we
sat in the rain for a little while. Where a
lot of these moments have rain in them, it seems like,
you know, we enjoyed the rain for a little while
in that moment, and then you know, decided to depart.
(22:33):
You know, there's other times we've gone just for a walk.
I think we talked a little bit about it one
time when we were on our health mission, we would
get up and go walk every morning. I think during
that COVID time when everything was kind of shut down,
(22:53):
we would get up and go for a walk around
and watch the sunrise and again, just some of that quietness,
some of that connection with nature, connection with God, drew
us closer together. So I think all of those things
a change of scenery we could have, you know, and
we did at times exercise at home during different things
(23:17):
with looking at videos and you know, doing what they
say do on the video, or we have a stationary
bike and some freeways, so we did some things at home,
but it was a lot different to change the scenery
and change the viewpoint, change our advantage point. It just
(23:39):
opened up other parts of us in some way. So
that's remarkable that how that happens, that what you see
impacts so many of your other senses and can impact
so much of your life. So you know, I challenge
everybody to that's in a relationship or whatever, to do
(24:01):
a change of scenery. And I think in some places,
you know, even outside of your marriage or your personal relationships.
I think about how many jobs that we left the
office to go on a retreat or left the office
to go do some outside activity to bring, you know,
(24:23):
people together, but also to kind of get them outside
of where you normally work, where your normal desk is,
working in the same group that you normally work with, like,
you were forced to work with people that you may
not have had communication with. So I think that's, you know,
also another a good way to go.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
I think.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
We also had retreats, at least for me growing up
in church. So we would have a church retreat where
the church would go out off to some middle of
the woods somewhere and there's no back then. There was
no cell service because we didn't have cellular phones, but
we couldn't watch TV, you couldn't have a radio any
(25:07):
of those things. It was just quietness in us, you know.
And then all of the workshops and things like that
that you had set up. But I think most definitely
change of scenery. It's a plus. It's a plus.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Yeah, I think the you know, I don't know even
how to put it, but you know, here's the reason
why all This matters because routine can make relationships feel predictable,
and we definitely did feel rather predictable to some degree,
(25:46):
and I would point it out every now and then.
But when you pause, dream and play again, you remember
that marriage is more than partnership. It's purpose in motion,
and to some degree, to be honest, in that routine,
(26:10):
you feel like you still have your purpose to some
degree because like, hey, you know, I want to be
a great parent. I want to be a great father
or mother, and you know I wanted the kids to have,
you know, something different than what I had, you know,
so you feel like that there is purpose in that, yes,
but there's a little bit more that God has provided you,
given to you and trusted you with. And sometimes we
(26:33):
lose that because of routine and because of what other
people are saying and doing or whatever it is. And
you know a lot of things if you listen to
that will never work podcast. You know, we talk a
lot about looking at what a lot of other people
are doing, and then you're like, well, why can't it
be me? You know, like how come I can't do that?
(26:55):
And why am I not flourishing? Or why I'm not traveling?
Or while I'm not eating or while I'm not dressing
like someone else, you know, and then guess what, you're
not yourself anymore, right, you know, you're not doing what
you're supposed to do. What you would you know, sit
here to do, you know? And so yeah, so I
(27:17):
think that's what, you know, what it comes down to,
and I think that's where this moment for us being
Puerto Rico, it's just it's just a symbol. Mike Confaen said.
We had other moments leading up to this, since the pandemic,
and we hope to have a whole heck of a
lot more. We really do. So, you know, I thank
(27:39):
y'all very much for listening today.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Thank you so much for listening, and we.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Will talk to y'all just a little bit later. Thanks
for tuning in to another episode of a No Fruit podcast,
where we bring you fruitful conversations, ripen wisdom and love
that's deeply rooted. If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget
to subscribe, leave us a review, and share it with
someone who could use a little inspiration in their death.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Until next time, stay rooted in love and remember every
seed you plant today shapes the fruit of tomorrow,
Sometimes it takes a change of scenery to remind you
that the spark was never gone. It was just bury
under the busyness. One of the things that Puerto Rico
reminded us that love still burns when you feed it attention.
We'll talk about it right after this.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Let's go about love and then the way of God
inten like experience shaw transwan.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Yo yo yo yo. What's going on y'all? So as
you heard us me say about how one of the
things that reminded us that love still burns was Puerto Rico,
But no, honesty, it started before then. And and what
I'm getting at is is sometimes that the change of
(01:03):
scenery can reignite, remind you or whatever it is what's
really going on where y'all really stand? So for us
in our reality to change of scenery, scenery was when
the kids left, they change scenery, they changed you know,
(01:26):
the atmosphere a little bit, because once it went off
to school, it had us in another place, like, all right,
where are we really? It's just us. We're going to talk,
we're going to fight, we're going to eat. You know,
So what is it? You know? What do you want?
(01:47):
And or are you do you just want to sit
here and hold each other and cuddle and watch a
movie or whatever. So I think the change of scenery
helps for you to reignite what you felt like might
have been lost.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Okay, I mean I think it allows you to reconnect
in a lot of different ways. I had something else
in mind, but I lost it. But I think the
focus is what changed. So again, the change of scenery
allows you to change your focus. It allows you to
(02:26):
change what you're seeing every day. So having young children,
you know, adolescents, teenagers on up until like Maray said,
they went away to college, you always had somebody else around.
You always had someone else really to think of and
(02:48):
care for. So that alone time, that one on one time,
that seeing your spouse as as your spouse, you know,
as more than just a parental partner, more than just
a co parent or whatever else goes on. You know,
(03:10):
when you have your children around, that not having them
in the house, having them away for just a few
months at a time allowed us to focus on each other.
It allowed us to say, hey, what do you want
for dinner? You know, and not have to take an
account a lot of other people, what do you want
(03:32):
to do this evening. It's not like, oh, well, this
person has to go off to practice and this person
has to get picked up late from school. There's a
lot of other things that were going on for many,
many years. But you know, having just the two of us,
(03:53):
as the song says, allowed us to to focus again
on one another, allowed us to focus on ourselves and individually,
who are we? No longer just the mom, no longer
just the dad, but so many other things. And I
think with that is why the podcast was able to
(04:15):
come about. I think that is why a lot of
different streams within the business were able to be birthed,
because when we had time to do it and then two,
we had the focus, the energy overall just to to
(04:36):
put some of those things into place.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
When you think about it, though, for yourself, at what
point did things really change? Was it just when they left?
Was it a conversation? Was it a hey, you know
in a minute, you know things aren't going to be
the same. So it's so when the things really changed
for you.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
I think you led the charge, if you will, saying hey,
I want to date my girlfriend again, date my wife.
So we created that atmosphere in our home. So while
we were dating we had some intimate dinners just the
(05:23):
two of us, you know, some by candle lights, some
by soft music or whatever. So we recreated that a
few times, dim the lights, put on restaurant music on
iTunes or whatever Apple, you know music, you know, prepped
a meal together or had a meal, even ordered out
(05:45):
a few times, but sat at the dining room table
just the two of us and was able to look
deep into each other's eyes, was able to have good conversation.
And I think that made a huge, huge difference of
(06:09):
just reconnecting in that place and in that space. I
think that started a lot of it because it allowed
us to look at each other again, reconnecting to our past,
but also connecting to what do we want the rest
of this to look like? You know, what do we
(06:31):
want our future to look like? Because to be real,
you know, you said years ago that you didn't see
us surviving once the kids left the house. You didn't
see that we had a connection that we would be
able to withstand, you know, the test of time. So
(06:55):
I hope that hit somebody's you know, heart and ears
that you know, as blissful as we may seem today,
there were times and there was a season, and there
was a period of time where like again where Maurice
didn't feel as though that we would be, you know
(07:17):
forever that you know, hey, we're kind of here for
the kids, you know, that's what keeps us together. We
don't have anything to talk about, we don't have anything
in common, and it would be over. And I'm not
putting at all all my reason. That's what he expressed.
You know, for myself, I felt isolated. I felt distant
(07:37):
and just again going through the motions, so didn't have
that connection. I was okay with not looking at the
same shows he looked at. I was okay with not
being excited about you know, whatever new song he was
excited about, but being able to have that conversation and
talk about it like, Okay, you're excited about it, but
I don't have to have that same excitement where I
(07:58):
think you wanted me to be just as hype, you
know about whatever you know that TV show game music was,
but I wasn't. But I still listened and entertained what
you may have had to say. But I think sitting
(08:20):
down at that dining room to me, the dining room
table with the soft lighting and soft music and just
having you there, it reminded me again of when we
were dating, even to when we first got married. I
think we had a candlelight dinner when we first got married.
(08:44):
So it just kind of reminded me why we're here.
And that's kind of where things kind of sparked for
me about you.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I mean, I think, excuse me, it might have started
once our oldest went off to school and you're like,
you know, for me, it was like, all right, Maurice,
you know you're here. Things are winding down a little bit,
not as you know, fast paced, not as busy, you know,
(09:18):
all those type of things. And then you know when
our now we did transition some of the energy to now,
you know, our second child, getting them ready for school,
you know, college or whatever it might have been. You know.
So you know, I think in considering, all right, here's
(09:40):
what's going on, this is what we need to do whatever,
And then now that person is out the house, all right,
it's quiet in here. Now I can slow down. Now
I can figure start to figure out who's Maurice again.
And I think that's part the thing that I had
(10:01):
lost a little bit of who I am. And so
when we take a look at the trip to Puerto Rico,
it's very similar of all right, you know, the everybody
went to school, but it's during the pandemic. That pandemic
kind of messed up a lot of that, you know,
to some degree. And then you know, and then from
(10:26):
there we had other challenges. So when we had that
quick little every semester for like two, you know, three
semesters straight where all right, we have a couple of
weeks where they on campus. But now all of a sudden,
there's a whole lot of back and forth and all
that type of stuff. You know, we had glimpses of, hey,
(10:48):
what's up, you know, where we are and what's going on,
and like I said, can we date, Can we go
to the mall and eat and all that type of
stuff without having to worry about something back you know,
you know, or anything like that, or just considering another individual.
So you know, so now you start to have those
(11:09):
moments where, you know, what, I really want those moments back.
And so when we did the trip to Puerto Rico,
you know, and being there on the beach, being there
by the pool, being there in the hotel room as
we look at the storm coming towards us, as we are.
(11:32):
They're just walking down the street as we're there, just
sitting at the table, as you stated, you know, just
speaking to one another, talking to one another, not talking
at each other, not having another type of expectation, enjoying food,
the moment, the atmosphere, whatever it is. That's something totally different.
But that's what it's like when you're dating. It's something different.
(11:55):
You're enjoying it, you're late back or whatever, you know,
when you for us, I know for myself again, you know,
we're married, even though we dated for three years, but
where marriage like, oh wow, this is a whole different vibe.
There's a whole different setting, there's a whole different mindset,
you know. And then but even with that, even though
(12:17):
we were married, but now we are expecting, like almost
as soon as we got married, it's like poof, it's
time for you had to baby, like right now, like
this moment, you know. And so even though we were
married without a kid for over what about nine about
(12:38):
nine ten months, got married in September. Baby were born
in July, so you know, nine ten months, so we
didn't quite make twelve months being married, you know and
being by ourselves. But now in all reality. We got
married in September. Now we have we know, we're pregnant
(13:02):
pretty much by Christmas. You know, that was a Christmas
gift everybody. Hey, here's an ultrasound picture, you know whatever,
And so so now your attitude and everything changes from
let's enjoy us. Well, I know, my attitude change from
(13:24):
let's enjoy us to what is this next step? You know,
let's start thinking about nursery stuff, and let's think about
baby names or whatever else. But we're not thinking about
us anymore, you know, So even in our opportunity to
really think about ourselves, we only had it and all
(13:46):
from essence of responsible for another human being four months maybe,
you know, because as soon as you found out you're pregnant,
now all of a sudden you're changed the way you're eating,
you take invitamin and then like you know, so all
of a sudden you're not you know. So, so only
four months in of our marriage we had to take
(14:08):
care of somebody else. And so now the question is
is for those of you out there who might have
had children prior to you getting married, you know, prior
to you know you're dating. Now you find someone who
has kids, whatever, what are those things that you have
to transition into, you know. And so now the kids
are out the house, do you even know who you are?
(14:30):
Because now you're because you got together for a purpose,
you know, with a mission or whatever it might have been.
In our case, you know, you know, we got married
and then had the kids. But even with that, four
months in, we're pregnant, you know, and now you have
that again responsibility and then because of that and not
(14:54):
understanding the value of a dollar, responsibility even for myself,
you know, just talking about myself, not understanding the responsibility
of a dollar, the rest responsibility of a husband, a
better son, a better brother, whatever it might have been,
you know, let alone a husband and then a father.
Like that's a whole nother vibe, you know. So what
(15:17):
is that like? You know, the first time I'm having
neighbors in a while that I spoke to because prior
to we had neighbors you know where I lived at
other places, but I wasn't talking to anybody, you know.
And then now all of a sudden, where where conversing
with our neighbors All the time we had our neighbors come,
you know, come to our wedding, and this you know,
whatever you know, and so you know, it's it's a
(15:40):
whole lot that that happened at one time. And then
in all reality, I lost myself and who is Maurice?
You know? You wake up like, yeah, I'm more reason,
I'm going to go off and I'm a conquer the world.
Well what does Maurice really want? Though? You know? And
(16:01):
so when we started this podcasting thing, you said, Marie's like,
this is probably the first thing I'm saying. I'm paraphrasing
pretty much, but Marie's this is probably the first thing
that you've ever done where was just you. You know,
this is the first thing that you've had in a
while where it is truly your voice, you control the
narrative or whatever it is, your personality get to come out.
(16:23):
And so when that has happened and me not relying
on other individuals, not having the quote unquote excuses of
responsibility or whatever it is, I was unresponsible for myself.
And then what happened in that moment, just like where
(16:44):
it is, we're school right now, I'm an adult, you know,
student right now, I'm an adult learner and my GPA
is a three point three, and so what happens is
I start to understand, like, hey, Maurice, you really are
an achiever like Marie's. You really have it within you
because now you don't have all the extra responsibilities weighing
(17:06):
you down. And so so with that will never work.
Podcasts won an award, right, you know, with no Fruit podcasts,
We've been nominated, you know, putting ourselves out there, you know,
And so no matter what other stressors has been surrounding us,
(17:27):
because if y'all been around us, y'all know that, it's
like it's almost like, come on, God, please, can we
have just one moment. But there's something that my uncle
said to me the other day. He said, Marie's, regards
of whatever is going on with you, you're probably the
strongest person I know. And he said, because everything has
(17:47):
been thrown at you, you haven't allowed her to break you.
You haven't succumbed to it or whatever it is, you know.
And so there are moments where I feel like I
want to break. There are moments, know what, I just
want to be, you know, I'm just tired, and you know,
my body just like, look, we can't take it them more.
We're gonna be sick. We're calling all sick. Today. You know. Unfortunately,
(18:11):
when it calls our second call sick for a minute,
you know, and it really literally literally does it just
it does call out sick, you know. And so you know,
so I think what happens is, uh, from Maurice, I
lost a lot and just even talking it out loud
with y'all of understanding, like, hey, you know what, I
(18:34):
had to change my persona and my mindset and everything
four months into our marriage and now what is that?
Who is that Maurice? When I still didn't know who
Maurice was, you know at that right, you know. So
(18:55):
I think so once we were able to sit down
and start the process of hey, they're out the house, Hey,
you know what, let's go to the mall. And we
didn't go to I mean when I said we were going
to the marrow, like, we went to a mall that
wasn't It was like an hour hour and a half
away from where we were, you know, where we live,
just because right, And so with that being said, you
(19:21):
start to realize that your time is yours and how
you spend it is how you decide to spend it,
you know, and what is it worth? And so now
it's time to say you know, what, do I really
see myself if this really was my life partner and
I was able to rekindle that thought or that idea.
(19:43):
So now that they're adults and we're definitely not so
worried about them, that a lot Puerto Rico reiterated their
adults for us because now we don't have to be,
you know, hold on so tightly, you know, and so
so I think change of scenery allowed me to say,
(20:09):
all right, am I Race, this is who you are,
this is where you want to be, and let's go
get it.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
I think, you know, outside of Puerto Rico. And we
were putting a lot of emphasis there because that was
kind of our second honeymoon celebration of twenty five years
of being married. But there are a lot of other
things I think that we did that was a change
of scenery that sparked something within us, sparked something within
our relationship. And again, it was just anything that was
(20:40):
out of the norm, anything that wasn't our regular outings
in the change of scenery, so right, you know, you know,
an ac trip, even sometimes we would just drive to
(21:01):
a local park. And I think we've talked about this before,
but just sitting there in the quietness of amongst trees
and grass and nothing else, you don't hear cars zooming by.
I think one of the parks we went to there
was like a train that was kind of off to
the distance. We could hear and see. But even though,
you know, trains can be a little bit soothing of
(21:24):
a sound. But it allowed us just again, not to
be drawn into our phones, not to be drawn into
television in any way, not to be drawn into our kids,
not to be drawn into what's going on with our
aging parents. But it allowed us just one to focus
(21:47):
on each other and then two just to see nature,
to see the hand of God amongst everything. So you
hear a little rustle in the trees, you're like, okay,
what's that, you know, is it the wind just blowing?
Is a squirrel? Is it something else? Do we need
to be alarmed? But again, we were in that moment together,
(22:13):
you know, do we have to get up and go?
And then it started to rain, you know, so we
sat in the rain for a little while. Where a
lot of these moments have rain in them, it seems like,
you know, we enjoyed the rain for a little while
in that moment, and then you know, decided to depart.
(22:33):
You know, there's other times we've gone just for a walk.
I think we talked a little bit about it one
time when we were on our health mission, we would
get up and go walk every morning. I think during
that COVID time when everything was kind of shut down,
(22:53):
we would get up and go for a walk around
and watch the sunrise and again, just some of that quietness,
some of that connection with nature, connection with God, drew
us closer together. So I think all of those things
a change of scenery we could have, you know, and
we did at times exercise at home during different things
(23:17):
with looking at videos and you know, doing what they
say do on the video, or we have a stationary
bike and some freeways, so we did some things at home,
but it was a lot different to change the scenery
and change the viewpoint, change our advantage point. It just
(23:39):
opened up other parts of us in some way. So
that's remarkable that how that happens, that what you see
impacts so many of your other senses and can impact
so much of your life. So you know, I challenge
everybody to that's in a relationship or whatever, to do
(24:01):
a change of scenery. And I think in some places,
you know, even outside of your marriage or your personal relationships.
I think about how many jobs that we left the
office to go on a retreat or left the office
to go do some outside activity to bring, you know,
(24:23):
people together, but also to kind of get them outside
of where you normally work, where your normal desk is,
working in the same group that you normally work with, like,
you were forced to work with people that you may
not have had communication with. So I think that's, you know,
also another a good way to go.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
I think.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
We also had retreats, at least for me growing up
in church. So we would have a church retreat where
the church would go out off to some middle of
the woods somewhere and there's no back then. There was
no cell service because we didn't have cellular phones, but
we couldn't watch TV, you couldn't have a radio any
(25:07):
of those things. It was just quietness in us, you know.
And then all of the workshops and things like that
that you had set up. But I think most definitely
change of scenery. It's a plus. It's a plus.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Yeah, I think the you know, I don't know even
how to put it, but you know, here's the reason
why all This matters because routine can make relationships feel predictable,
and we definitely did feel rather predictable to some degree,
(25:46):
and I would point it out every now and then.
But when you pause, dream and play again, you remember
that marriage is more than partnership. It's purpose in motion,
and to some degree, to be honest, in that routine,
(26:10):
you feel like you still have your purpose to some
degree because like, hey, you know, I want to be
a great parent. I want to be a great father
or mother, and you know I wanted the kids to have,
you know, something different than what I had, you know,
so you feel like that there is purpose in that, yes,
but there's a little bit more that God has provided you,
given to you and trusted you with. And sometimes we
(26:33):
lose that because of routine and because of what other
people are saying and doing or whatever it is. And
you know a lot of things if you listen to
that will never work podcast. You know, we talk a
lot about looking at what a lot of other people
are doing, and then you're like, well, why can't it
be me? You know, like how come I can't do that?
(26:55):
And why am I not flourishing? Or why I'm not traveling?
Or while I'm not eating or while I'm not dressing
like someone else, you know, and then guess what, you're
not yourself anymore, right, you know, you're not doing what
you're supposed to do. What you would you know, sit
here to do, you know? And so yeah, so I
(27:17):
think that's what, you know, what it comes down to,
and I think that's where this moment for us being
Puerto Rico, it's just it's just a symbol. Mike Confaen said.
We had other moments leading up to this, since the pandemic,
and we hope to have a whole heck of a
lot more. We really do. So, you know, I thank
(27:39):
y'all very much for listening today.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Thank you so much for listening, and we.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Will talk to y'all just a little bit later. Thanks
for tuning in to another episode of a No Fruit podcast,
where we bring you fruitful conversations, ripen wisdom and love
that's deeply rooted. If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget
to subscribe, leave us a review, and share it with
someone who could use a little inspiration in their death.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Until next time, stay rooted in love and remember every
seed you plant today shapes the fruit of tomorrow,
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