July 28, 2025 • 21 mins
Side-show-Bob, the state governor, taxes Washington taxpayers into the poor house.
William A Lee Jr – Host of the "Old Man Raints from the Kitchen" live podcast, William A Lee Jr combines humor and social commentary to address current issues. With his unique storytelling and satirical perspective, William captures the challenges of everyday life, economics, and local governance through the lens of a seasoned observer.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-old-man-ranting-from-the-kitchen--4106693/support.
William A Lee Jr – Host of the "Old Man Raints from the Kitchen" live podcast, William A Lee Jr combines humor and social commentary to address current issues. With his unique storytelling and satirical perspective, William captures the challenges of everyday life, economics, and local governance through the lens of a seasoned observer.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-old-man-ranting-from-the-kitchen--4106693/support.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
The Old Man Rooting from the Kitchen Live podcast. Hello everybody,
and welcome back to the Old Man running from the kitchen.
I'm back in the kitchen. Folks. Took me a little
while to get back in here. They put a chain
around the refrigerator door, so I wouldn't you know, venture
from the from the microphone over to the refrigerator. Help
(00:27):
myself for a few snacks, things of that nature. And
they also nature at the oven no longer works. But
I'm back in the kitchen. It's great to be back
in the wonderful kitchen. Yeah, and I'm telling you right
now there's things that things are not going well in
state of Washington. Have you seen the cost of groceries lately? Oh?
Sure you have. Everybody has. I just I'm in shock
(00:49):
every time I turn around. Used to be I could
load up my sacks I take, you know, because you
can't watch out for sacks now, because sacks are expensive.
You gotta watch out for him. Even if I see
him rolling down the street, I put on the brakes
and jump on and grab the bag. Because you can
put groceries in those that's fantastic. So anyway, I get
(01:12):
all my bags, righty, and I stuff them in the
back of the car. It looks like I'm one of
those street people that's living on the street and collecting
newspapers to put under the mattress to keep me warm,
and when I'm sleeping on the concrete sidewalk, which is
probably be more comfortable in my bed at the moment.
But anyway, let's not digress here. Let's move on with
the conversation. I'm in the kitchen and I'm working away,
(01:35):
and everything's fine. I thought, well, I'm gonna take a
moment or two and I'm gonna jump on the old
computer and order my groceries. I don't go to the store.
You know now. The reason I don't like to go
to the store is very simple. Have you ever noticed
the gleam in the little old lady's eyes with the
cart and when they see somebody that's really looking like
(01:56):
they're trying to grocery store shop, and they're pushing their
carts slowly down and looking at the groceries and picking
this and picking the Let me tell you something, folks,
let me tell you something right now. When I go
down at the store, the first thing I want to
do is have a mere hooked with a little headband
in a mirror that sits off to the right hand side,
(02:18):
so I can see who's sneaking up behind me. Because
I'm telling you, these little ladies, if they think, oh
look at that Mildred, that guy's got oo, what a
set of buns, bam, and they run over you with
a shopping cart. Of course, said maybe in my particular case, dreaming,
but I could have sworn. I've been hit two or
three times with carts. So I decided I'm not going
(02:41):
to the store. I'll have them just drop the stuff
the groceries at is off at the door or out
in the yard, or in the parking lot or one
of the park car roofs, or wherever they decide to
put it. Not saying that some of the drivers that
deliver groceries are shall we say, misguided or anything, or
(03:01):
can't see, can't speak English, don't understand street signs, addresses,
et cetera. I'm just happy when he gets here, you know. Yeah,
so I would boom boom, boom boom on the old
computer there. Okay, that's five ninety five, five ninety five
yesterday it was two ninety five. Soon as that I
go through my yelling and screaming, call nine one one,
(03:22):
get the fire department down here. After I put in
the order, they zapped my chest and I'm back breathing again.
It's sort of like being one of the street people
down in Seattle. It's on a fentanyl you know, you
get somebody with a nor can. I think he's gonna live.
Oh well, believe me. Chances are it wasn't fentanyl that
(03:43):
bought him down to his knees and unconscious. Probably the
food prices. But don't you worry. Side show Bob our governor.
He's gonna cut everything back. He is wonderful. Side Show Bob,
what a guy near if I get elected? Really did
in course I should have known better, But old sideshow
Bob got elected. And I tell you something that was
(04:07):
exciting to me before he took over. Before he took
over office, got the clown car in the garage, got
the clowns out, got the rubber noses passed out and everything.
He made a statement that I captured. Now. Just recently,
there was a freelance of freelance. I think it was
the gorilla's mother, but I'm not sure. Here in the
(04:28):
zoo that did an audio of the governor actually talked
to the governor before, you know, before he took over,
and you have to excuse some of the sideshow stuff
going on, but here's what he had to say about
how he was going to take care of the Washingtonians
and make sure this budget situation was under control. Now,
(04:52):
this is before he was elected, and the comments are bodacious.
Here they are.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Ninety three sixty.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Four, not even twenty gallons of gas pumped. The total
for David Cassius more than one hundred and three dollars.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I don't know if it is the right time for
more taxes, but.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
That's exactly what lawmakers decided, passing a bill to add
six cents to the forty nine point four cents per
gallon we already pay. That will ring up a total
of fifty five point four cents a gallon.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
How can people afford this? It's getting harder. That's it
really is, working longer and harder. That's the only way
to do it.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
The tax on diesel fuel would also grow six cents
over the next two years, and both taxes would rise
two percent annually from there. What do you say to
working families who are looking at it, saying if you
sign this, I won't be able to afford it.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yeah. I think what I'm going to try and do
is avoid signing a budget that leads that outcome.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
The current budget passed to the Governor's desk creates nine
billion dollars in revenue from taxes and cuts its seven
billion in spending.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
We're facing a sixteen billion dollars short fall. That's that's
a lot. As I said at the beginning, we can't
hear it cut a way out of it, but we
can't tax away out of it. It's got to be
some balanced approach.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Governor Bob Ferguson tells me he is hearing from consumers
and businesses and that he will be studying each of
the more than one thousand pages of this new budget
line by line.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I think what families want to see as a thoughtful approach.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Okay, there you go. If that ain't Ringling Brothers Barnuman
Bill's Circus Big Show under the main tent production, I
ain't heard of one yet. I couldn't believe it. I
couldn't believe my ears. Yeah, couldn't believe my ears at all.
Even Roger, the rooster of the producer said, where in
(06:42):
the sam hill did you come up with that? At?
And I said, it was on the air. If you
pay your attention, Roger, do your job, you would have
heard it and told me about it. But oh no,
you're busy with that cute little redheaded chicken there, so
go away, leave me alone. I got him out of
the room. It's disgusting. Anyway, we were working the way
and I was sound bites. Sound bites. Those are kind
(07:05):
of unique. You know, when you hear a SoundBite of
what the governor's saying. Usually his sound bites are, well, everybody,
we've got to tighten up the belts a little bit.
We have a nine billion dollar oh oversight there, Yeah,
just an oversight. Kin kind of sounds like a large
explosion of the economy. And what we want to do
(07:29):
is we want to try to We want to try to.
We want to try to. Yeah, what you want to
try to do is make state of Washington anti a
Republican state. Well, wait a minute, mint, We've been clown
town for over forty years, so that ain't going to
change anything. But good try there, Bob, good try so. Okay,
(07:51):
then what we want to do is we want to
make sure that everybody has a roof over their head
because we've got so many homeless. Well, yeah, there's fifteen
thousand people eat in Seattle, Bob, you finally noticed it.
I'll be dog gunn. When you were attorney general, you
didn't seem to have any laws or anything that bothered
you about homelessness, rioting, etc. We all know how chops
(08:14):
ended up and a few other wonderful things while you
were attorney general. Why should we expect any more, Bob,
now that you're a governor, we should be happy and
happy and happier to think that you are the governor.
Side show, Bob from the Simpsons is actually a political
magnet of as far as I'm concerned, the economy stretching
(08:37):
and destroying and the state of Washington, which is a
solvent state. Now is that solvent mean you can't pour
gas out in your yard and light a fire and
get rid of the gas? Huh? I didn't know. Anyway,
I was very busy and excited. I turned all my
political stuff that I've collected throughout the years. I gave
(08:57):
it to the big green Green Goblin. Yeah, that's waste management,
by the way I put them At all in that
great big dumpster. Let him haul it off. I don't
care about all those things like the whoopee cushion, which
we probably could use now that's needed, just in case.
We think about all the harm and hurt that he's
caused it physically to the rear end of this state.
(09:19):
But let's move on. Let's move on anyway. I was excited.
I went to the gas station and yeah, I yeah,
untwisted the gas lid there, put the tank nozzle in there,
and went back to the I call it a like
a gambling machine, you know what I mean with the
(09:41):
Indians at the reservations, where you pick one number and
push this button and try to push this button and
see if you want some money. I do all those
button pushing to see if I can get some gas
out of the nozzle at a price I can go afford.
And half the time that doesn't work either. Well, I'll
(10:01):
tell you I was so excited. I rang up twenty
dollars and I thought, okay, I'm under control now. I
hung up the nozzle, got the receipt, jumped in the car,
but the key in the ignition turned it on. The
gas gauge moved about sixteenth of one hundredth of a
millimeter of an inch. I thought, oh wow, well I've
dusted the bottom of the tank with twenty dollars worth
(10:23):
of gas. What a waste of my time that turned
out to be. But that's all right. I don't need
to go anywhere anyway. I just I just had nothing
to do with money to give away in taxes. So
I figured I'd go down to the one arm slot
machine called a gas pump and put some gas in
my tank. And that's what I did, folks, put gas
in the tank. Well, I got back just in time
(10:46):
for a nice man. We had our apartment up rent
by the way at the zoo here when the cages
was cleaned out for some time and we needed to
find some more people to move in. And I was
lucky enough to have a gentleman call me on the
phone now once I not three times, about forty times, uh,
wanting to who you wanted to view the apartment? He did,
(11:06):
and I said, okay, well I'll flip the cage store open.
I gave him instructions on how to get here. Make
sure you don't talk to the baboon. Come right on in,
and you know park the car out front here and
we'll walk over to the cage, I mean the apartment,
and we'll check it out. Okay, So what happens this
This gentleman calls me back and says, well, I'm gonna
(11:28):
have a friend of mine come down and look at it.
I thought, Hey, that's cool, that's great. Friend. You're going
to have a friend come down and look at the
apartment that you're going to move into, because why, oh,
you're in a different state. Oh okay. That put me
in a state of confusion. Fine and Dandy. I had
(11:49):
sent him probably fifty million pictures. I had everybody in
the zoo here clicking pictures. I gathered him up. Georgie
the possum did the best job of all because they
got that ground view shooting up so you could see
the beauty of the backyard and the back deck area
(12:10):
and everything. Oh, she did wonderful job. Anyway, to make
a long story short, ship them all off, Okay, Love
the pictures calls me back, says they're going to come
down in thirty minutes. Thirty minutes, he's going to be
there to walk through the apartment. Okay, so I wait
thirty minutes, thirty five minutes, forty minutes, and I thought
(12:31):
to myself, waiting a minute, he sounds like he's from
a different country. Yeah, he was, and that's fine. So
then I figured out, Okay, in his country, evidently it's
five hours ahead of our country, our timing, so he
thinks it's eight o'clock, so he'll be here by whenever.
(12:52):
And I was pretty close to that. It only took
him two and a half hours on a thirty minute
run to get here. Now, on his way in, you
would think he would turn on a GPS, take the
address and find it right. Nupnup, you say the GPS
for the last moment when you're embarrassed that you're lost
and you're roaming around, and the neighbors in the area
(13:15):
that you're at, they're all peering out the window saying, Hey, Sue,
say look at that there. Look at what's coming up
that their road. It looks like one of them foreigners.
I'll bet you, I'll bet I wonder if he's illegal.
I'll get on the hotline the governor's got set up.
We may better get some information there. We could have
one of them rascals that the mice people looking for
(13:38):
coming up the road. Of course you're not looking for him.
But that's about the way that things went. He finally
calls back, gets the address. I am forty five feet
or fifty feet away from the end of the car
when he rolls in and can't figure out where to park,
and I'm standing there, hello, hello over here. Finally somebody
(14:01):
looked and I said, park next to the truck. Let
the gorilla flag you in. Well, of course I'm the
gorilla in this case. Oh. He finally gets in. We
go through the apartment head, go through the back door.
Can't go through the front door because the dug gun
chimpanzee upstairs has to fit. So I throw them out,
(14:21):
open up the cage, open all the doors up, let
them go through. And they're saying, oh, that's wonderful, Old
The table will fit there, the couch will fit over there. Oh, okay, wonderful.
Ask me a bunch of other questions. I said, no,
we're not having any pets. No, And I go through
the whole thing, which is already in the ad. By
the way, folks, but you know, English is hard to read,
(14:44):
so anyway we go intured number two language you know
in the country. So anyway, we go through all this stuff.
All right, Oh, I'll leave just man, here, where's the
front door. Oh, for the love of Pete, right here,
here's the front door. Sure, that's the doorknob. Just tw
sat Hummer pull on it. So he has to pull
it open and close it to see if that's actually
(15:05):
the way out of the apartment. Besides the two doors
that come in from the other side of the apartment
out onto the deck area. Makes no sense to me,
believe me. Then in the middle of it, now I've
been over there for thirty five forty minutes. In the
middle of this, the guy looks in. He said, okay, well,
do you mind if I take a video? I said, yeah,
(15:28):
that's fine, take a video, take two videos if you wish.
So he's walking around and at the same time he's
talking to the guy that I find out later is
actually going to move in. Oh okay, see this, pigure.
Oh look at this. This is a room. There, this
is here the room. There, there's the door. There's there's
a there's a window. Oh, my goodness, after all the
(15:48):
stuff that I sent you finally found there's a window
in a door. This is amazing. This is the floor
here If you want to see that. Here's the kitchen
over here. It has a sink in it. You'll enjoy that. Yeah, understand,
the stove comes with the apartment. I take him around
the corner to where the laundry room where you leave
(16:11):
your appliances, washing dryer, that's your appliances, and explain to
him and he go, holy crap, ho what no washing dryer?
What am I gonna do? Well? You can take a
bucket and there's a great big rock out there, huge,
and you can take your bucket of clothes out there,
a little bit of water and soap and beat him
(16:32):
on the rock if you wish, and then let them
out to dry. No, there's no wash. Did you see
a washing dryer in the ad? Sir? Hey don't they? Hey?
Bone Tony and anyway, Antonio, Okay you didn't. How do
you answered the question. So I finally get it all done.
I get them wrapped up in there out the door.
I'm so pleased with myself. I'm just jumping up and
(16:54):
down the plodding like, uh well, I'm more hurry morey, Maury, morey.
What's a moury? And Roger comes out and says, the
moury is when you go in, your brain stops working
and you're still talking. That's when I picked up a
stick and was going to amplitate one rooster's head. But
(17:15):
unfortunately violence has no place here at the zoo. Roger laughs,
a is you know what off and retires to the
back room, getting ready to twist the microphone up for
the great return of the old man ranting in the kitchen. Well, folks,
let me tell you something right now. I have never
(17:35):
had such a routine of trying to figure out how
to rent an apartment, how to suffer with gas prices
that are outrageous. I look across at our fence, which
we've been building now for two or three months, because well,
the first thing that happens is, I guess somebody said, hey, Julie,
Julie honey, come over here to the window. Here you
(17:57):
look out, Dan, What do you say? Don't you think
that might be one of them guys from Mexico. I
don't know, but I think we better call up the
apartment man as you'll find out what's going on. And
if he ain't home, then we're gonna have to call
the iceman come out here and do something about this.
So obviously they must have because we don't have anybody
working on the fence. And well, once in a great
(18:21):
while somebody slips in at night, I guess because I
never see him nail up a couple of boards and
disappear again. But that's all right. Here at the zoo,
we understand. Well, folks, that's about all I got to
go with. And I just, oh, I'm just getting a headache.
Oh my goodness, Oh Roger, why in the world did
(18:44):
you put that in the seven up? Roger has this
new idea. He says, you know, people should stay healthy,
so add and I love no sugar in my pop.
That's the no sugar seven up. And he always pours
in a little cranberry boost. That's cranberry juice. He calls
(19:05):
it boost and mixes up for me and then not
says a word, not a word, and I take a
golp of that, and my ears spin around, my head,
fire comes out of my nose, and he says, Okay,
you're ready, now do the podcast. You can't win them all.
Let me tell you here's the thing that you got
to learn about life. First of all, when you get
(19:27):
up in the morning, you put your feet on the floor.
If you don't smell flowers and no wickering candles in
the room, then you're alive. Now, the next thing you
do when you're a senior season is you stand up
and you tipy tool over to the bookcase and you
pull out last year's legacy of Playboy's greatest models. Thumb
(19:54):
through that. That way, your heart gets started, you see,
and then you can go out and and tolerate the
day at the zoo. For sure, I think that was
the greatest line the Red Skeleton ever gave. So anyway,
it's been pleasure being with you today. I'll be back eventually.
Side Show Bob, We'll be back. And fortunately we're stuck
(20:16):
with that side show cartoon for the next four years.
So in meantime, remember keep a good sense of humor
in your mind. Now, not when you're driving through the
Coomer Seattle and see the homeless, Not when you go
to Olympia and find out all the homeless has been
shipped to Seattle. Don't worry about that. Keep loving your
heart and a helping hand out to help others in need.
(20:39):
Have a good, wonderful week. Talk to you next week
on the Old Man Rants from the Kitchen Are you
ready to take intro
The Old Man Rooting from the Kitchen Live podcast. Hello everybody,
and welcome back to the Old Man running from the kitchen.
I'm back in the kitchen. Folks. Took me a little
while to get back in here. They put a chain
around the refrigerator door, so I wouldn't you know, venture
from the from the microphone over to the refrigerator. Help
(00:27):
myself for a few snacks, things of that nature. And
they also nature at the oven no longer works. But
I'm back in the kitchen. It's great to be back
in the wonderful kitchen. Yeah, and I'm telling you right
now there's things that things are not going well in
state of Washington. Have you seen the cost of groceries lately? Oh?
Sure you have. Everybody has. I just I'm in shock
(00:49):
every time I turn around. Used to be I could
load up my sacks I take, you know, because you
can't watch out for sacks now, because sacks are expensive.
You gotta watch out for him. Even if I see
him rolling down the street, I put on the brakes
and jump on and grab the bag. Because you can
put groceries in those that's fantastic. So anyway, I get
(01:12):
all my bags, righty, and I stuff them in the
back of the car. It looks like I'm one of
those street people that's living on the street and collecting
newspapers to put under the mattress to keep me warm,
and when I'm sleeping on the concrete sidewalk, which is
probably be more comfortable in my bed at the moment.
But anyway, let's not digress here. Let's move on with
the conversation. I'm in the kitchen and I'm working away,
(01:35):
and everything's fine. I thought, well, I'm gonna take a
moment or two and I'm gonna jump on the old
computer and order my groceries. I don't go to the store.
You know now. The reason I don't like to go
to the store is very simple. Have you ever noticed
the gleam in the little old lady's eyes with the
cart and when they see somebody that's really looking like
(01:56):
they're trying to grocery store shop, and they're pushing their
carts slowly down and looking at the groceries and picking
this and picking the Let me tell you something, folks,
let me tell you something right now. When I go
down at the store, the first thing I want to
do is have a mere hooked with a little headband
in a mirror that sits off to the right hand side,
(02:18):
so I can see who's sneaking up behind me. Because
I'm telling you, these little ladies, if they think, oh
look at that Mildred, that guy's got oo, what a
set of buns, bam, and they run over you with
a shopping cart. Of course, said maybe in my particular case, dreaming,
but I could have sworn. I've been hit two or
three times with carts. So I decided I'm not going
(02:41):
to the store. I'll have them just drop the stuff
the groceries at is off at the door or out
in the yard, or in the parking lot or one
of the park car roofs, or wherever they decide to
put it. Not saying that some of the drivers that
deliver groceries are shall we say, misguided or anything, or
(03:01):
can't see, can't speak English, don't understand street signs, addresses,
et cetera. I'm just happy when he gets here, you know. Yeah,
so I would boom boom, boom boom on the old
computer there. Okay, that's five ninety five, five ninety five
yesterday it was two ninety five. Soon as that I
go through my yelling and screaming, call nine one one,
(03:22):
get the fire department down here. After I put in
the order, they zapped my chest and I'm back breathing again.
It's sort of like being one of the street people
down in Seattle. It's on a fentanyl you know, you
get somebody with a nor can. I think he's gonna live.
Oh well, believe me. Chances are it wasn't fentanyl that
(03:43):
bought him down to his knees and unconscious. Probably the
food prices. But don't you worry. Side show Bob our governor.
He's gonna cut everything back. He is wonderful. Side Show Bob,
what a guy near if I get elected? Really did
in course I should have known better, But old sideshow
Bob got elected. And I tell you something that was
(04:07):
exciting to me before he took over. Before he took
over office, got the clown car in the garage, got
the clowns out, got the rubber noses passed out and everything.
He made a statement that I captured. Now. Just recently,
there was a freelance of freelance. I think it was
the gorilla's mother, but I'm not sure. Here in the
(04:28):
zoo that did an audio of the governor actually talked
to the governor before, you know, before he took over,
and you have to excuse some of the sideshow stuff
going on, but here's what he had to say about
how he was going to take care of the Washingtonians
and make sure this budget situation was under control. Now,
(04:52):
this is before he was elected, and the comments are bodacious.
Here they are.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Ninety three sixty.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Four, not even twenty gallons of gas pumped. The total
for David Cassius more than one hundred and three dollars.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I don't know if it is the right time for
more taxes, but.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
That's exactly what lawmakers decided, passing a bill to add
six cents to the forty nine point four cents per
gallon we already pay. That will ring up a total
of fifty five point four cents a gallon.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
How can people afford this? It's getting harder. That's it
really is, working longer and harder. That's the only way
to do it.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
The tax on diesel fuel would also grow six cents
over the next two years, and both taxes would rise
two percent annually from there. What do you say to
working families who are looking at it, saying if you
sign this, I won't be able to afford it.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yeah. I think what I'm going to try and do
is avoid signing a budget that leads that outcome.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
The current budget passed to the Governor's desk creates nine
billion dollars in revenue from taxes and cuts its seven
billion in spending.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
We're facing a sixteen billion dollars short fall. That's that's
a lot. As I said at the beginning, we can't
hear it cut a way out of it, but we
can't tax away out of it. It's got to be
some balanced approach.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Governor Bob Ferguson tells me he is hearing from consumers
and businesses and that he will be studying each of
the more than one thousand pages of this new budget
line by line.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I think what families want to see as a thoughtful approach.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Okay, there you go. If that ain't Ringling Brothers Barnuman
Bill's Circus Big Show under the main tent production, I
ain't heard of one yet. I couldn't believe it. I
couldn't believe my ears. Yeah, couldn't believe my ears at all.
Even Roger, the rooster of the producer said, where in
(06:42):
the sam hill did you come up with that? At?
And I said, it was on the air. If you
pay your attention, Roger, do your job, you would have
heard it and told me about it. But oh no,
you're busy with that cute little redheaded chicken there, so
go away, leave me alone. I got him out of
the room. It's disgusting. Anyway, we were working the way
and I was sound bites. Sound bites. Those are kind
(07:05):
of unique. You know, when you hear a SoundBite of
what the governor's saying. Usually his sound bites are, well, everybody,
we've got to tighten up the belts a little bit.
We have a nine billion dollar oh oversight there, Yeah,
just an oversight. Kin kind of sounds like a large
explosion of the economy. And what we want to do
(07:29):
is we want to try to We want to try to.
We want to try to. Yeah, what you want to
try to do is make state of Washington anti a
Republican state. Well, wait a minute, mint, We've been clown
town for over forty years, so that ain't going to
change anything. But good try there, Bob, good try so. Okay,
(07:51):
then what we want to do is we want to
make sure that everybody has a roof over their head
because we've got so many homeless. Well, yeah, there's fifteen
thousand people eat in Seattle, Bob, you finally noticed it.
I'll be dog gunn. When you were attorney general, you
didn't seem to have any laws or anything that bothered
you about homelessness, rioting, etc. We all know how chops
(08:14):
ended up and a few other wonderful things while you
were attorney general. Why should we expect any more, Bob,
now that you're a governor, we should be happy and
happy and happier to think that you are the governor.
Side show, Bob from the Simpsons is actually a political
magnet of as far as I'm concerned, the economy stretching
(08:37):
and destroying and the state of Washington, which is a
solvent state. Now is that solvent mean you can't pour
gas out in your yard and light a fire and
get rid of the gas? Huh? I didn't know. Anyway,
I was very busy and excited. I turned all my
political stuff that I've collected throughout the years. I gave
(08:57):
it to the big green Green Goblin. Yeah, that's waste management,
by the way I put them At all in that
great big dumpster. Let him haul it off. I don't
care about all those things like the whoopee cushion, which
we probably could use now that's needed, just in case.
We think about all the harm and hurt that he's
caused it physically to the rear end of this state.
(09:19):
But let's move on. Let's move on anyway. I was excited.
I went to the gas station and yeah, I yeah,
untwisted the gas lid there, put the tank nozzle in there,
and went back to the I call it a like
a gambling machine, you know what I mean with the
(09:41):
Indians at the reservations, where you pick one number and
push this button and try to push this button and
see if you want some money. I do all those
button pushing to see if I can get some gas
out of the nozzle at a price I can go afford.
And half the time that doesn't work either. Well, I'll
(10:01):
tell you I was so excited. I rang up twenty
dollars and I thought, okay, I'm under control now. I
hung up the nozzle, got the receipt, jumped in the car,
but the key in the ignition turned it on. The
gas gauge moved about sixteenth of one hundredth of a
millimeter of an inch. I thought, oh wow, well I've
dusted the bottom of the tank with twenty dollars worth
(10:23):
of gas. What a waste of my time that turned
out to be. But that's all right. I don't need
to go anywhere anyway. I just I just had nothing
to do with money to give away in taxes. So
I figured I'd go down to the one arm slot
machine called a gas pump and put some gas in
my tank. And that's what I did, folks, put gas
in the tank. Well, I got back just in time
(10:46):
for a nice man. We had our apartment up rent
by the way at the zoo here when the cages
was cleaned out for some time and we needed to
find some more people to move in. And I was
lucky enough to have a gentleman call me on the
phone now once I not three times, about forty times, uh,
wanting to who you wanted to view the apartment? He did,
(11:06):
and I said, okay, well I'll flip the cage store open.
I gave him instructions on how to get here. Make
sure you don't talk to the baboon. Come right on in,
and you know park the car out front here and
we'll walk over to the cage, I mean the apartment,
and we'll check it out. Okay, So what happens this
This gentleman calls me back and says, well, I'm gonna
(11:28):
have a friend of mine come down and look at it.
I thought, Hey, that's cool, that's great. Friend. You're going
to have a friend come down and look at the
apartment that you're going to move into, because why, oh,
you're in a different state. Oh okay. That put me
in a state of confusion. Fine and Dandy. I had
(11:49):
sent him probably fifty million pictures. I had everybody in
the zoo here clicking pictures. I gathered him up. Georgie
the possum did the best job of all because they
got that ground view shooting up so you could see
the beauty of the backyard and the back deck area
(12:10):
and everything. Oh, she did wonderful job. Anyway, to make
a long story short, ship them all off, Okay, Love
the pictures calls me back, says they're going to come
down in thirty minutes. Thirty minutes, he's going to be
there to walk through the apartment. Okay, so I wait
thirty minutes, thirty five minutes, forty minutes, and I thought
(12:31):
to myself, waiting a minute, he sounds like he's from
a different country. Yeah, he was, and that's fine. So
then I figured out, Okay, in his country, evidently it's
five hours ahead of our country, our timing, so he
thinks it's eight o'clock, so he'll be here by whenever.
(12:52):
And I was pretty close to that. It only took
him two and a half hours on a thirty minute
run to get here. Now, on his way in, you
would think he would turn on a GPS, take the
address and find it right. Nupnup, you say the GPS
for the last moment when you're embarrassed that you're lost
and you're roaming around, and the neighbors in the area
(13:15):
that you're at, they're all peering out the window saying, Hey, Sue,
say look at that there. Look at what's coming up
that their road. It looks like one of them foreigners.
I'll bet you, I'll bet I wonder if he's illegal.
I'll get on the hotline the governor's got set up.
We may better get some information there. We could have
one of them rascals that the mice people looking for
(13:38):
coming up the road. Of course you're not looking for him.
But that's about the way that things went. He finally
calls back, gets the address. I am forty five feet
or fifty feet away from the end of the car
when he rolls in and can't figure out where to park,
and I'm standing there, hello, hello over here. Finally somebody
(14:01):
looked and I said, park next to the truck. Let
the gorilla flag you in. Well, of course I'm the
gorilla in this case. Oh. He finally gets in. We
go through the apartment head, go through the back door.
Can't go through the front door because the dug gun
chimpanzee upstairs has to fit. So I throw them out,
(14:21):
open up the cage, open all the doors up, let
them go through. And they're saying, oh, that's wonderful, Old
The table will fit there, the couch will fit over there. Oh, okay, wonderful.
Ask me a bunch of other questions. I said, no,
we're not having any pets. No, And I go through
the whole thing, which is already in the ad. By
the way, folks, but you know, English is hard to read,
(14:44):
so anyway we go intured number two language you know
in the country. So anyway, we go through all this stuff.
All right, Oh, I'll leave just man, here, where's the
front door. Oh, for the love of Pete, right here,
here's the front door. Sure, that's the doorknob. Just tw
sat Hummer pull on it. So he has to pull
it open and close it to see if that's actually
(15:05):
the way out of the apartment. Besides the two doors
that come in from the other side of the apartment
out onto the deck area. Makes no sense to me,
believe me. Then in the middle of it, now I've
been over there for thirty five forty minutes. In the
middle of this, the guy looks in. He said, okay, well,
do you mind if I take a video? I said, yeah,
(15:28):
that's fine, take a video, take two videos if you wish.
So he's walking around and at the same time he's
talking to the guy that I find out later is
actually going to move in. Oh okay, see this, pigure.
Oh look at this. This is a room. There, this
is here the room. There, there's the door. There's there's
a there's a window. Oh, my goodness, after all the
(15:48):
stuff that I sent you finally found there's a window
in a door. This is amazing. This is the floor
here If you want to see that. Here's the kitchen
over here. It has a sink in it. You'll enjoy that. Yeah, understand,
the stove comes with the apartment. I take him around
the corner to where the laundry room where you leave
(16:11):
your appliances, washing dryer, that's your appliances, and explain to
him and he go, holy crap, ho what no washing dryer?
What am I gonna do? Well? You can take a
bucket and there's a great big rock out there, huge,
and you can take your bucket of clothes out there,
a little bit of water and soap and beat him
(16:32):
on the rock if you wish, and then let them
out to dry. No, there's no wash. Did you see
a washing dryer in the ad? Sir? Hey don't they? Hey?
Bone Tony and anyway, Antonio, Okay you didn't. How do
you answered the question. So I finally get it all done.
I get them wrapped up in there out the door.
I'm so pleased with myself. I'm just jumping up and
(16:54):
down the plodding like, uh well, I'm more hurry morey, Maury, morey.
What's a moury? And Roger comes out and says, the
moury is when you go in, your brain stops working
and you're still talking. That's when I picked up a
stick and was going to amplitate one rooster's head. But
(17:15):
unfortunately violence has no place here at the zoo. Roger laughs,
a is you know what off and retires to the
back room, getting ready to twist the microphone up for
the great return of the old man ranting in the kitchen. Well, folks,
let me tell you something right now. I have never
(17:35):
had such a routine of trying to figure out how
to rent an apartment, how to suffer with gas prices
that are outrageous. I look across at our fence, which
we've been building now for two or three months, because well,
the first thing that happens is, I guess somebody said, hey, Julie,
Julie honey, come over here to the window. Here you
(17:57):
look out, Dan, What do you say? Don't you think
that might be one of them guys from Mexico. I
don't know, but I think we better call up the
apartment man as you'll find out what's going on. And
if he ain't home, then we're gonna have to call
the iceman come out here and do something about this.
So obviously they must have because we don't have anybody
working on the fence. And well, once in a great
(18:21):
while somebody slips in at night, I guess because I
never see him nail up a couple of boards and
disappear again. But that's all right. Here at the zoo,
we understand. Well, folks, that's about all I got to
go with. And I just, oh, I'm just getting a headache.
Oh my goodness, Oh Roger, why in the world did
(18:44):
you put that in the seven up? Roger has this
new idea. He says, you know, people should stay healthy,
so add and I love no sugar in my pop.
That's the no sugar seven up. And he always pours
in a little cranberry boost. That's cranberry juice. He calls
(19:05):
it boost and mixes up for me and then not
says a word, not a word, and I take a
golp of that, and my ears spin around, my head,
fire comes out of my nose, and he says, Okay,
you're ready, now do the podcast. You can't win them all.
Let me tell you here's the thing that you got
to learn about life. First of all, when you get
(19:27):
up in the morning, you put your feet on the floor.
If you don't smell flowers and no wickering candles in
the room, then you're alive. Now, the next thing you
do when you're a senior season is you stand up
and you tipy tool over to the bookcase and you
pull out last year's legacy of Playboy's greatest models. Thumb
(19:54):
through that. That way, your heart gets started, you see,
and then you can go out and and tolerate the
day at the zoo. For sure, I think that was
the greatest line the Red Skeleton ever gave. So anyway,
it's been pleasure being with you today. I'll be back eventually.
Side Show Bob, We'll be back. And fortunately we're stuck
(20:16):
with that side show cartoon for the next four years.
So in meantime, remember keep a good sense of humor
in your mind. Now, not when you're driving through the
Coomer Seattle and see the homeless, Not when you go
to Olympia and find out all the homeless has been
shipped to Seattle. Don't worry about that. Keep loving your
heart and a helping hand out to help others in need.
(20:39):
Have a good, wonderful week. Talk to you next week
on the Old Man Rants from the Kitchen Are you
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