Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You are listening to the On Purpose podcast, your guide
to living a more purposeful life. What's up, everybody, Welcome
to this week's editionally on Purpose podcast, where it's always
our privilege to show up with you each and every
week to put a smile on your face, get your
thoughts moving, maybe your body's moving a little bit, support
you out, maybe working out already and getting after it.
(00:22):
So we appreciate you being here, and we appreciate the
space you allow us to show up in your life.
This week, I'm excited to bring on a guest from
across the world in Australia. Again, it's always fun one
meeting people from there and then two trying to coordinate
schedules with the time differences. So I'm excited that we
(00:42):
got that all worked out. We have the privilege of
hosting Yeldiz Sethi, an innovative thinker, best selling author, and
trailblazer in the world of mental health, which you know
is super intriguing to me. She's the author of Let's
Take the Crap Out of Psychotherapy, a book that aims
to revolutionize the way we approach healing and growth by
(01:03):
breaking down complex therapeutic concepts into practical empowering methods. So
I'm excited to get her on the show and talk
about this right mental health for our first responders, for
our military ventures. Like it's such a big thing nowadays.
So if we can look some different ways to reach people,
(01:23):
some different out of the box methodologies and strategies to
get people feeling better about themselves and what they went
through and where they're going, I'm all for it. So
before we get to this interview, I want to ask though,
that you help us out. Get on your favorite podcast apps, YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook,
(01:44):
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gets some help and realize they're capable more, realize that man,
(02:04):
life is right around us right now. It's not someplace
down the road. So do us a favorite help us
out with that, help us continue to grow. We appreciate
you all, and we're excited for this week's interview with
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(02:25):
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the Brave dot com. We've got your six yield is
my newest friend. Welcome from across the world to the
On Purpose podcast. How are you doing today?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Well, very well, I'm really looking forward to our talk today.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Yes, I'm always excited to have somebody from around the
world because it's tomorrow there for you, for us, so
you can kind of tell me how the night goes
because I haven't lived it yet.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Well, it's well, I'm in Australia in Queensland and we
are about fourteen hours ahead of you in Australia in US,
so yes, it's about eight am in the morning. Now,
it's fresh, it's bright, it's sunny. We are in our autumn,
(03:44):
whereas you're heading into your spring. So we're on the
opposite sides of the world experiencing different things. But that's
all good. I was born in UK, so I've also traveled,
you know, had to experience living in Europe and here
now where I am in Australia. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yeah, how do you like it down there?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Love it, really love it. It's compared to Europe, and
I've been to America a couple of times as well.
It's very quiet. There are fewer people here, and for
me that seems perfect, right. I know now when I
(04:28):
go back to particularly England where I came from, it
feels almost claustrophobic when I get off the plane. It's
just so dense, so heavy, and there's just so many people.
I think, Oh my gosh. I've got used to my
quieter existence here in Australia because I live on a
place called Mount Tamberin, which is a wonderful tourist destination actually,
(04:51):
but it's a beautiful forested, green area that you know
is absolutely pristine, you know, so, yeah, I love it here.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Awesome. Well, thank you so much for taking time to
come on the show. And what it was. I came
across your some of your stuff for your your book
Let's Take the Crap out of Psychotherapy, and that just
resonated with you. I was excited to talk with you
because anybody that challenges the status quo or what mainstream
is doing, I'm always intrigued by because that's usually those
(05:22):
thoughts and those conversations cause growth and it gets other
people think. And I wanted to learn more about your history,
your research, and what led you down that road. But
but before we start that, it's early in the morning there,
so I gotta make sure you're warmed up, that your
mind's ready to go, that we're ready. So are you
ready for a nice little warm up here? Yeldez?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Absolutely all right. I go to bed early and I
wake up bright.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
All right? What do you pick in sunrise or sunset?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
What? What am I picking?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Which one would you pick? If you could only have one?
Would you help sunset?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Probably? Sunrise? Yes?
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
It's a new day, It's a new beginning. It's exciting.
You know, new possibilities. I guess yes, And what do
you pick? What do you pick? Are you a set
person or no?
Speaker 1 (06:23):
For sure? Sunrise? I like the start of the day
as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, No, all right. What's a
favorite quote or a quote that's stuck with you throughout
your time? Oh?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Goodness me, oh dear me, there's many, many, many, and
I can't think of one right now. It's never too
late to change. It's probably my own favorite quote. I'm
not sure if anybody else said that, but that's one
of mine. It's never too late to change. It's never
(06:59):
too late for you to change, and your world to change,
and your perspective to change. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yeah, And that kind of goes to what we were
talking about off air, with you not being afraid to
kind of reinvent yourself and ask questions of the status quos.
It doesn't shock me that that's something you live by.
My friend, m all right, what is our favorite book
of yours?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Oh? Another one? Yeah? Gosh, been so many. Look, a
book that really spoke to me when I was younger
would have been Oh goodness, may I can't think of
any right now. Yeah, I can't think of any right now.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
That's why we do a warm up.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Yeah. Oh, there are so many good books, brilliant book
and I just can't think of a single one right now.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I'm so sorry, no worries. Yeah, it's earlier over there
for you. What is that if you could have dinner
with one person, who would you want to have dinner with?
They could still be a live or have passed away.
Who would you have dinner with and what would you
want to ask them?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Albert Einstein he is my hero in many ways because
he he was a major stirr right. He was a
major person who dared to dream and dead to visualize,
and dead to ask big questions. And even when people
(08:40):
didn't agree with him, which mostly they didn't, he plaied
on with it. And you know, all this time later
now he most of what he predicted or said is
true has been found to be exactly right. He was
just many centuries before his time really, So yeah, I
(09:01):
really admire people like that who dare to dream, dare
to follow their gut, and dare to stand against the
wave of society. I guess.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Yeah, And that's been kind of the same for you
throughout your life, right, questioning things and not just necessarily
taking things that serve as value.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yes, absolutely, it's been very much my theme. And it
started really even as a young kid, because I was
born in England to a very poor family. I was
the eldest of seven children Turkish Cypriot dad English mom
in England, born between two cultures and two religions, not
(09:47):
really understanding any of it. It was crazy. And so
that kind of set me on a journey of questions,
what does this mean? You know, what is or what
is the Islamic faith? What is the Christian faith? What
are all the other faiths? What do they mean? Are
they important or not? And you know, right from the beginning,
(10:07):
I was asking those questions. And I think when I
was about seventeen, I read you know, the Cora, I
read you know, the Bible, I read the Bag of
a Geta, you know, I read them. You know, I
went around just saying, why are people so fixed on
(10:31):
this one or this one or this one? And I
just wanted to know, well, what's the difference. And you know,
when I actually read them all, I actually realized if
they're all the same, right at their core, at their
essence of that first person coming on and you know,
(10:54):
you know, giving their views and you know, becoming the
profit of whatever they are. They all were all about love.
They were all about wondereness. They were all about forgiveness
and encouraging people to be who they are and not
judging and you know, all of that. So that was
(11:14):
wonderful for me because that kind of I thought, well, Okay,
I'm not missing out on anything, not having been born
into a faith, you know, which which is great because
you know, the other thing I've realized is you have
to create your own faith too. You know, you can
be born into a faith, but then at the end
of it, really you have to decide what works for you.
(11:37):
And that was one of the first things. And then
the second thing I was really interesting was science. I
love science. I love to know what worked. And I
was fascinated by the planet, the stars, the moon, you know,
the cycles and you know how things worked on a
physical level. And I was absolutely interested in people because
(12:01):
I was born into a crazy family, you know, and
I often wondered, what, you know, how can you think that,
or how can you behave like that? Or made no sense?
And so that kind of got me into realizing that,
you know, human behavior is fascinating and it's often crazy,
(12:26):
and you know there's a normality to it as well.
You know, I don't mind to have people who have
their idiosyncrasies or their you know, little bit odd behaviors
or whatever, because that's who they are and what they are, yeah,
needing to be. And also I guess beyond that is
(12:48):
I mean, following my early time, I couldn't go couldn't
go to university, was not allowed. My father thought that, no,
women don't go to university. They just have babies and
they just you know, become my wife and waste of money.
Why would you want to go to university. So I
kind of couldn't do that. Even though I was top
(13:10):
of my school, I was pulled out of a school
to go to work. Okay, so that was kind of
my first thing. So I didn't actually go to So
I did the conventional thing. I got married young, I
had children young, and then later on in life, I
went to university and I went to become a physics
(13:31):
and chemistry teacher, which was fantastic. And I guess my
thing was, you know, how do you get yourself out
of a hole? How do you get yourself from where
you don't want to be to where you want to
be where you have more choices. And I really thought,
you know, I really found that education, whether it's formal
or not formal, doesn't matter to me, but learning throughout
(13:54):
your whole life is the key. So I became a teacher.
I loved that for a long time. And then I
did a complete Abad turn and I went on holiday
and met three Vadic castrologers in one week, right one week.
I didn't even know what that was, A right, no idea.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
What do you call that?
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Vedic astrology, v ed Ic astrology, d Indian astrology, Indian
astrology goes with the yogas and yoga meditation. I evader
all of that, and I was fascinated, and so I
went home with the course. And then the next year
(14:40):
I was just studying, studying, studying, and I really thought, no,
I don't want to be a teacher anymore of physics
and chemistry. I actually want to go into Vada astrology.
And of course my friend's family and everybody who knew
me thought, wow, you can't do anything as crazy as that,
but I did.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
How old at that time.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
At that time I have been.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Forty six, So you got your kids are grown by
then you've got family.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yeah, yes, that's right. My kids had kind of were
late teens, you know, doing their own things. And yes,
so I just gave up my job and became a
vadic astrologer, right, looking at karmic cycles and why are
we all trapped in these karmic cycles? You know, myself included?
(15:30):
And I thought, wow, So I did that for a while,
became a vedic astrologer, and then I realized, well, what
can we do to help people, myself included change those patterns?
Those cycles were all caught in. And I went into
canceling psychotherapy and realized very quickly how disappointed I was
(15:52):
by that. But they didn't really have any real methodologies
for helping people will unravel it properly other than by
telling stories. Right, you share a share, share, share share,
and yes, sometimes that works, but a lot of the
time it doesn't work for deeper issues. And so then
(16:13):
I became a hypnotherapist than I did NLP. And then
I discovered family constellations, which is an out of the
box way of working with generational issues that we all
carry in particular and generational trauma. And I thought, oh,
(16:33):
thank goodness, I've finally found something that works, you know,
because the other part of this jurred is I'm impatient, right,
this is my thing, and it's probably not a great
thing to admit to, but I am. I don't see
why people have to spend their whole lives, years or
whatever in therapy when you could do it quickly, right
(16:58):
when whatever is keeping stuck, you can go to very
quickly and help them sort it out and work with
them within only a session or two, right. Literally. Now,
I know that's not great for business as far as
you know, I'm concerned, or a therapist is concerned, but
it feels so much better to be able to help
(17:19):
people really well, you know, so that they move on
in their lives, you know, and do whatever they need
to do. And so that worked for ages, and then
I realized, Okay, family consolation is fantastic for generational stuff,
But then what happens to the personal stuff? The stuff
that happened to you when you were a kid. You know,
(17:39):
that teacher that looked at you and said you'll never
amount to anything, you know, or a parent that said
something you know in an angry burst that really stayed
with you. And so that put me into did developing
something called emotional mind integration, which helps people. Okay, family
(18:01):
consolations works with the generational relational side of things, and
the emotional mind integration works with going to the cause
of what's keeping you stuck in that belief that I'm
not good enough or that you know, I've never amount
to anything or whatever it is and helps and it
unravels this through the neural pathways and all happens within
(18:23):
a session.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Right, So how we stop you there for a second
before we get gone too far? How how's it been
received for you to always be questioning what other people
just accept as the fact, and that's the way of
always doing business, right Because listen to you as you're
you're always seeking more, You're not just content where you are.
(18:44):
How how's that been for you as far as processing
and how did you handle your emotions and have the
courage to move on? Or maybe not everybody else believed
in it, because I think that's a great example of
what you're doing there for our community.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Look, frustration is what I held and also I believed
that my way of looking at the world was not
everybody else's way of looking at the world. And I
also believed that we are here to question and develop
(19:20):
and prove for ourselves. So I just didn't accept it.
So it actually meant that a lot of the time
within groups, you know, particularly teacher groups, because I was
the same as a teacher, I thought, look, this way
of teaching is just not good enough. Let's just do
it better, right, and that people didn't want to hear that.
And actually what happened was I suppose in a sense
(19:42):
people I hate to say this, but did they become
jealous or did they become you know, I wasn't part
of a group that just followed like, you know, like
a sheep. I guess I was the one that was
always hang on, why can't we do it this way?
(20:02):
Or and I guess I, you know, to stay as
a teacher, I just had to button myself up basically
to stay in the system because I didn't like the system.
But I just let myself rip it. Within a classroom,
I loved teaching little kids, you know, cheeky kids who
(20:23):
who whatever for whatever reason, you know, but if you
actually engage with them and get what they really think
and what they really want, they're with you. You know,
there was no problems. I in the school system, I had,
you know, kids that were told that you know, oh,
don't you know little Johnny over there and little Susan
over here, you're going to watch them because they I
(20:44):
didn't want to hear that rubbish, you know, I didn't
want to hear it. I said, look, when you come here,
you know, you just we will work things out. You know,
I'm not going to listen to what's been said. We're
just going to work things out. And by even the
end of a term, you know, I had the roughest
kids just doing what they do and enjoying it right.
(21:06):
And that's the beauty, isn't it, of not following right
finding ways to work with each person. And that's probably
what I've done also in my therapy, right because again
I'm thinking, well, okay, you've been you know, you've supposedly
been depressed for twenty years or something else for fifteen years.
(21:28):
You know, I don't believe that there is something stuck right,
There's something we haven't been able to get to by
all these other methodologies that's been used that has not
been able to unlock it right. And so that's always
been my thing. And look, it's actually probably isolated me,
(21:48):
to be absolutely honest, right, because you know, I am
members of psychotherapy groups, and I'm members of this, and
I'm members of that. Actually to go to any of
those meetings frustrates me to death, to be absolutely frank.
And so I guess I have created my own smaller
(22:12):
groups where we can speak much more openly and we
can challenge each other. And I'm quite happy to be challenged,
and you know, and happy to speak to others who
are not going to get defensive and you know, trying
to shut me down. And so I guess at my
stage of life, you know, I felt, Look, I have challenged,
(22:33):
I have found better ways of working, and I'm not
going to stay zipped up anymore. I just I don't
see why I should.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
I agree, and I love what you're saying there. Like
what I hear is you've just remained curious. And that's
one of the things I stress with people as we
get older, stay curious, stay learning, ask questions. And like
you said, you don't mind having people ask you questions. Right,
it's not just being curious, but you attract other people
are also seeking different ways to do things, and I
(23:06):
think that's such a great trait to have and to
encourage for our kids to remain curious and for adults
to become curious again.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yes, absolutely, I think don't let your curiosity go. Actually,
I mean, I do get that people need jobs. I
do get that people need to, you know, pay their
bills and put food on the table, and for that
they've got to keep this particular role. But I say,
don't let it change internally, don't let those questions stop.
(23:36):
And when opportunities come up, just take them. I mean,
you know, that's really you know, I get that life
is difficult. You know, I'm not going to pretend it isn't,
and and mine has not been easy either, but just
daring to make those moves when you have the opportunity
(23:57):
is so well worth it. Because I guess one of
the things I've always thought too, Jared, is you know,
when I'm done at the end of my life and
I'm looking back, what will I have been glad that
I did right now? You know, staying as I as
my dad said, I should, you know, as the little
(24:17):
woman who just becomes a mother and a grandmother and
then just dies, I would have been really sad looking
back on that. And by the way, I love my dad.
By the way, I don't have any issues with my
dad or my mom because I kind of came to
an understanding that they were also conditioned, right, And it's like,
(24:37):
you know, they were also really conditioned into the way
they had to be, and they came from cultures where
it wasn't okay to question and it wasn't okay to
be not run of the mill, right, and so I
kind of understood that. So I don't have any hard feelings.
But I mean today, especially with education, with supposedly free speech,
(25:05):
which isn't so free actually, you know, just push those
boundaries and yeah, ask those questions and just be curious.
And you know, sometimes my curiosity has led me down
a rabbit hole. Oh this is not and you've got
to come back and think, Okay, well that that it
(25:27):
was worthwhile looking at it. But yeah, don't worry about that.
Just what's next.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Yeah, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to explore
one thing here before we move forward. And that's that
what you just said, that that you don't hold any
kind of any feelings poorly towards your parents because they
did what they knew or what they thought was best.
At the time they didn't know any different. And sometimes
we don't let go right we move forward, we're still
holding on to the past and we can't get to
(25:53):
where we're supposed to go being tied back. So how
how would you say you did that, or what would
you say for our community members that are maybe needness,
the people are closer to him that might be holding
him back.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Yes, okay, that's a huge It's a huge question, Gerard,
huge because this is essential to my work right. This
is why I love family constellations. And that was developed
by somebody called Bert Hellinger, who is also Oh Curry.
You asked me before about a book Acknowledging what Is
(26:25):
by Bert Hellinger.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
I knew it would come up.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Acknowledging What Is by Bert Helenger changed my life because
I was in a book shop in Sydney, just browsing.
I was a councellor by then a bit frustrated. You know,
this canceling business doesn't work very well from my perspective.
I know other people might think differently. And this little
book bran book jumped off off the bookcase into my hands.
(26:53):
That's how it felt. It had nothing to it. It was Bran.
It was Brann and White, you know, little, and I
just picked it up and opened it and within the
first page, oh wow, that is amazing, and so I
did actually obviously by the book ready cover to cover,
(27:13):
very quickly, was blown away and thought family Constellations, I
really would love to see this in action. But he
was in Germany at that time. I'm in Sydney. I'm
thinking not much chance, and so I kind of put
it away in my mind, even though I kept going
back to it and thinking, wow, I'd love to see
(27:33):
this in action. Anyway, a couple of years later, I'm
on holiday in India, traveling around a backpacking doing a
backpacking thing with my husband, and we stayed at a
place and you know, next day, walking through that place,
a big sign Family Constellations come and have a look. Wow, right,
(27:56):
talk about for it. I couldn't believe my luck. So
of course we went, and of course we loved it.
And of course there was a training straight afterwards, so
we gave up the rest of our holiday and did
the training, and then I came home as a family
Constellations practitioner. Now, the thing about Family Constellations is and
it was written by Bert Hellinger, who was a Catholic
(28:19):
priest for many years, and then when he came out
of the Catholic priesthood, he decided to become a psychotherapist,
and he, too, right, couldn't find anything that worked for
him because it didn't go far enough, and so he
developed something like something called family constellations, which is the
(28:41):
idea that we come from our mother and our father,
and we carried both of them within us and within
all of that or all the limitations of our cultures
that they came from. But our purpose in life is
really to our purpose in life is to undo our conditioning.
(29:09):
Right now, that second thing that I've just come from
there came from Osho and he said, ill purpose in
life is to undo your conditioning and so that you
can finally connect with who you are and who you're
meant to be. Right, And so that's really the two
(29:33):
key people in my life would probably be those two, right,
because I'm so in tune with that. And family consolations
helps us to let go or process or the hurt
or the anger or the sadness, disappointments, feeling excluded, not seen,
(29:55):
not heard, et cetera, which is all the things I felt,
and probably everybody else feels too, and just let that
go and actually just connect to the love that your
mom feels for you and the love your dad feels
for you, right, and let them keep their own beliefs basically,
(30:17):
because at the end of the day, when you get
to be an adult, each your life and you can
make what you want of your life, that is your
God given right if you believe in God, right, which
I do, so, it is your right to make the
most of your life. And it's actually for me a
sin not to do that. You know you're missing out
(30:40):
on so much. Obviously, it's your choice if you choose
not to do that, But you know I have in
my work, I attract people who are wanting to break
free of all those shackles basically and be free to
be who they need to be. So that's my biggest saying,
(31:02):
be free to be you, right, That's what's all. And
the way I'm working with family consolations works directly with
your initial contacts or been born into that little couple
of your dad and mom whoever they are, coming to
(31:23):
some acceptance of who they are. Because if you couldn't,
if you hadn't been born through them, you would not
be here, right, yea. And the challenge of our life
is to break through all those supposed barriers that which
are just figments of our mind or society. Actually, So
(31:47):
as long as you don't hurt anybody else, be free
to be you, you know, is kind of what I'm thinking.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Yeah, And a lot of times, to be you, and
to truly be you, and to be what you are
destined to be or which you could potentially be, you
got to move past a lot of the stuff that
was beyond your control. Right. That's just an area that
a lot of times people struggle with, is they stay
anchored to So how do you, you know, talking about
(32:15):
your book, let's take the crap or let's take the
crap out of psychotherapy? How do we get honest there?
Because that's one of the things that sticks with me
sometimes is if I have friends, I hear people that
are constantly going through therapy, it's kind of like you
said before, like they're kind of it's just like an
ongoing thing. I don't know when it ever ends for them,
And a lot of times it's it just seems like
(32:36):
they're in this wheel. Is that some of the crap
you're saying the cut out.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yes exactly, I would say, Look, I don't want to
offend all counselors and psychotherapists, right because I know there
is a place for it. There is a place to
go to a counselor of psychotherapy to discover who you are,
to explore all your beliefs and feelings, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
(33:02):
For grief and loss. Definitely, for those places where you
come to a crossroad in your life where you need
to make changes, there's a place for it. However, if
you have a sad story of you know, I'm not
good enough, or people always ignore me, or people always
betray me, or you know people are always using me,
(33:25):
or you know any other negative story, there's a million
of them, and you keep telling the story. And this
is what we're told in counseling psychotherapy. Go to go
to share your story, right, Go to tell your story.
And telling a story heals, well, it only heals if
at the end of the story you don't need to
(33:46):
tell it anymore. Right, do you understand if you've told
it a dozen times or a thousand times and you're
still telling the same story, guess what it hasn't worked,
has it? Right, So in those deeper things where the
story is stuck, it will go down into a causal
(34:07):
event in your life, either in your family system, family consolations,
or in your personal life in terms of what happened
to you as a child or a baby, or when
you were ten or when you were twenty. You're still
still every time you think of it, you still feel
yacky about it, you know, and that's what's keeping you stuck.
(34:30):
So this is why I developed emotional mind integration, so
that we can go down into that stuckness, help them
to sort it out really quickly, and then come up
within a session. Right, and the story is no longer there. Right,
That belief or that negative belief that keeps you trapped
(34:52):
into this story is now no longer. When I see
people who've been stuck like that for a long time
and they come to me for a second section, I say, well,
how is that bit about that book that you know,
that thing you were saying like oh what oh, oh,
that's gone. I'll learn now, want to look at this right, Okay, great, right,
we're moving on. That's that's exactly how So this is
(35:16):
why I say, take the crap out of psychotherapy because
CBT is working with symptoms, and so is canceling, working
with the story that we bring of ourselves. Right, But
they don't attempt to go to the cause of it,
probably because they don't know how to do it. And
(35:37):
even if they did get to the cause of it,
they wouldn't know how to process it. And that's where
I have done my work, how to get to the
cause of it and how to process it quickly. Now,
the exciting thing that I share in my book is
that neuroscience and epigenetics are exactly saying the same things
(35:59):
that I'm saying right that it can take a split
second to make that change, right. All you need is
the right process to help you process it, and your
neuro plasticity is going all the time and can easily
reformat very quickly. Yea, And this is really so I'm
(36:22):
using that. I mean, I didn't realize I was using
neuroscience when I was doing it, but reading in the research, Wow,
that's exactly fits so perfectly with what I'm doing. I'm
not allowing all those protocols and beliefs, and you have
to do it this way, and you have to do
it that way, it's not necessary. And even the idea
(36:46):
of you have to see people for X number of
sessions to build up a report, Sorry, it's rubbish. You
can build a rapport with somebody within the first fifteen
minutes and be working with them on what they really
need to work in getting to the cause of a
particular belief or feeling that they all pattern that they
(37:07):
have very quickly and come out of it within the session.
So yeah, I'm changing the system.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
Yeah, So emotional mind integration, right, So that's just hearing that.
That means we're using emotions and our thoughts together, we're
not separating, that's right, which is a huge I've always
I've always struggled with that when we we want to
think about someone, we're not feeling or we're sharing our feelings,
we're not thinking exactly.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
So I both go they have.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
To write Like, I'm no psychotherapist, but it makes sense
to me. They have to go together.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
That's right, that's right. And this is why I say
we have to work holistically with people. Right, Holtically, I
can't separate you from your thoughts or your feelings or
your past, actually, right, and so you have to work
holistically and yes, I have discovered certainly in family consolations.
I didn't discover well, I discovered it there, but I
(38:05):
didn't found it right, but courageous enough to bring that
to the world, and he was vilified by many psychotherapists
and psychiatrists for what he did because it just so
so invalidated. I guess the way they're working, and I
guess that's what I'm doing too. So I'm I'm aware that,
(38:29):
you know, people, there will be many that will not
like what I'm proposing. But throughout the book, I've every
time I have made a statement, I've put in research
and from professors or well known PhD people, or the
(38:52):
latest in neuroscience, or the latest in epigenetics, or the
latest in this or the latest in that, to actually
show Look, it's not just me saying this right, this
is I'm a practitioner, that's my thing, But there are
many other people in the world who are also saying
hang on. Just looking at symptoms, giving them a label
and then medicating them and labeling for life is actually
(39:16):
a damaging way to work with the mind. And it's
why our mental illness or mental health is getting worse
and worse and worse according to statistics, because everybody that
turns up feeling a bit flat to the GP ends
up with a diagnosis and medication and gets added to
the list of people who are supposedly mentally ill. Yeah,
(39:38):
you know, I think his depression is is not a
mental illness. It's something we all experience at some point
in life. And if you didn't experience it, I'd say,
what's wrong with you? Because that's just normal, right, it
has to be.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
It's just it's no different than we have rainy day,
so we can appreciate a sunny.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Day exactly, that's right.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
So there's something why why is it? I mean, business wise,
it's fantastic to be able to diagnose people and keep
them in a process because in their customers forever, it's
not as good a business to go ahead and fix
them to where they don't need you anymore.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Well do right, Yeah, it's the right thing to do.
And you know I have a busy practice, right, So
it's like, you know, for people who want what I offer,
there are people there, right, I have an involving doll.
I see them once or twice and they're gone, and
they're really happy to give my card around to their
(40:43):
friends and again more people come in. So it's a
different style of business, right, So yes, I mean it
means that, yeah, minds are constantly flowing, changing business. But
I welcome that because it gives me such a lift
to help somebody to come out of a horrible stuck place.
(41:04):
So it's a two way positive thing, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
You know? Yeah, no, And I think that's to me,
that's the goal. And people come into counseling or come
for help for any reason. The goal should be to
produce results, not keep them forever where they never progress past.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
And I guess the other thing to this gerut is
when I looked into the theory behind CBT, right, Cognitive
behavioral therapy is what the supposedly the most effective psychotherapy
in the world. Right, this is the one that you
go to the GP. They might send you to a
(41:47):
psychologist or a psychiatrist, You get a diagnosis, you get
your medication. Right, this is cognitive behavioral therapy. Now behind
that whole medical model way of thinking of the mind,
they it comes from a belief that goes back four
hundred years ago, four hundred years right, which says that
(42:12):
once your mind is broken, you know, a weird way
to think of the mind, or not functioning properly, it
will never recover. So psychiatrists in particular have decided that
is the belief they're going to hang onto rather than
the more more recent beliefs that said, look, a lot
(42:36):
of our beliefs are coming from stress situations in life,
disappointment shocks, you know, which can easily be fixed. And
now neuroscience is saying, actually, what I'm saying and what
others are saying now that actually, yes, a lot of
(43:00):
depression is due to deep sadness, right, or deep hurt
or the helplessness, hopelessness, you know, I can't get out
of this whole kind of thing, you know, Or I
did something awful and I feel terrible about it, or
it so many things. And once we can process that,
(43:23):
your brain has the capacity to rewire easily. The other
person I should have mentioned is Norman Deutsch, who talked
about the brain that's constantly rewiring.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Norman Deutch, he's a psychiatrist who's also broken ranks with
his you know, the psychiatry feel in the sense in
saying that that these things can you know, because he's
experienced too that people can heal. There is a natural
in would healing process that we all have as human
(44:02):
beings if we can harness it.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
Basically, let me ask you this shield is do you
think some of the issues at least and you've been
to America so you're familiar with kind of our country
and some of the craziness that goes on over here
now is because we're not learning to deal with these
emotions when we're young, right, So we don't have the
skills as adults. So then we go in and we
(44:24):
got something's wrong with us, right like, instead of being like, no,
this is normal, like you're gonna have highs and lows,
ups and downs.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
Yes, yes, and yes I agree. Look, but the other
part to this is, Jared, you know when I was younger,
when we're young, we don't have the capacity to understand emotions.
And we don't have the capacity because we're such a
such a vulnerable little thing. We so need and crave approval, right,
(44:57):
We so need and crave it, So we tend to
bottle things up right, uh, and put a lid on it.
But then it becomes a disturbance in our psyche, which
then pops up later as depression or anxiety or something.
So certainly the earliest time it pops up is the
time you can work with it, right. And so if
(45:21):
you have somebody you know who is not going to
label you or put you, you know, in the in
the mad basket, you know, or whatever, and then give
you medication and say, look, you're gonna you're gonna suffer
this for the rest of your life, which is actually
what they say, then you know you you're free. Then
(45:42):
you know you can go to somebody like me or
any other of the people people in the world who
are working well and help you out of it very quickly,
and you can move on in your life. Right. And
it actually it becomes a bit of wisdom in the
background too, right, it becomes part of your life experience.
It's not just disappeared forever. You learn something through it,
(46:05):
for sure, you know, one of them being that I
shouldn't listen to other people, right, fair enough, But there's
more other things we can learn from in what happens
to us. Yeah, so I guess, yeah, that's kind of
where I'm at right now. And yes, it took courage
to put out this book, and I reckoned at my age. Look,
(46:30):
you know who cares.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
You know, Yeah, what are they going to do?
Speaker 2 (46:36):
Yeah? What are they going to do? You know? It's like, well,
I'll say what I need to say, and I've valified,
every verified everything I've said. And the other person too
that I really have respect for is Bruce Lipton in
the Science of Beliefs, which is also an incredible validation
(47:03):
of everything I've said. You know, he also may make
sure that emotions and beliefs are very much linked together,
and yes, they have an effect on our biology and
the way we think and the way we feel and illness.
And I guess you know, another person I could mention
would be Gaba Marte, right, who's also written lots of books,
(47:30):
several books around exactly what I've been talking about, that
we're all traumatized. Sure, we all have issues, and it's normal.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
You know. I don't know anybody that doesn't think they
have issues or haven't gone through some difficult I think
one of the problems I see, at least in the
worst here, is that we like to compare traumas and
we like to value judge like, oh, my trauma wasn't
as bad as them, so I shouldn't have one, No,
you should because they're scalable to your life exactly, and
(48:04):
I don't need to compare. And that's one of the
worst things we do with this, you know, that's saying
that comparison is the thief of joy. And it's not
just good comparison, it's one we're even comparing how bad
people had in Yeah, yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
If you can come out of that, that makes a
huge difference.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
We have to, right, at some point you do or
you just like you said, at the end of your day,
you live a life that you look back on and
you go, man, it's I don't know what could have been.
I never gave myself the chance exactly.
Speaker 2 (48:38):
That is so sad, isn't it that you know so sad?
It's to me it's a waste of a life, right,
and also spending years in therapy for me looking at that,
that's a waste of your life when you could just
be moving on and you know, might meet a great
partner or having a wonderful time or more. You know.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
Yeah, you know, does I even say, it's not just
like if I did that to myself, it's not just
a waste of my life, but all the people that
I cross paths with that, I didn't get to impact
fully because I never gave myself that chance. They don't learn,
they don't have the opportunity.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
That's right. And also, I guess, you know, if everybody
was able to come out of this stuckness, you know,
be who they really need to be and become happier,
more joyful, because I have to be honest, you know
that the more I have got out of this having
(49:36):
to please others, the happier I've been, right, and the
healthier I've been actually as well, you know, which is interesting,
isn't it? And so if more people did this, wouldn't
the consciousness of the world come up? You know, wouldn't
Did you understand what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (49:57):
I agree, you're happier and health theory because you're finding
a way to serve others that fulfills you, right, and
and our deep roots of human being, we all want
to be of service to others, that's right. That's right,
Like we all want our time here to be like, wow,
we made a little bit of a difference. And I
agree with you.
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Yeah, exactly when we can.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Find that balance of doing things that we value and
that bring value to others, that is the sweet spot
in life where you're you're going to thrive, which is
what you're saying, happy healthy, that's thriving.
Speaker 2 (50:34):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
And what and what I love is you didn't come
from the greatest backgrounds and you found it.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Right, I should I shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
Be But no, you stayed curious. You didn't think.
Speaker 2 (50:51):
No way, right way. I didn't didn't dare argue with
my parents, by the way, because I was just thinking,
no way, I'm going to find a way to this.
Speaker 1 (51:03):
I love it. And that's that fight that's spunk in life.
Like we don't have to just live everybody else's life,
and we don't have to live somebody else's life. But
this leads to my last question for you is how
can individuals take control of their mental health journey, which
is part of their life using your techniques?
Speaker 2 (51:20):
What would you say, look seeing somebody like me, you know,
and I've trained lots of people, by the way, it's
not just me, because that's what I'm doing now. I
can't do everything by myself. So I figured if I
train as many people as I can, there's more people
out in the world doing what I'm doing, which is helpful. Yeah,
(51:42):
finding a good therapist who believes that you do not
have to be ill forever, that has a belief that
you can recover completely. Yeah, if you go to a
therapist who says, look, look, you know you're just you're
pretty depressed. You know, you're probably always going to be depressed,
but it will give you some tools to help you
(52:04):
manage the symptoms. I get it. You know, like that's
not enough, that's not good enough, Not in twenty twenty five,
when we've got all the science that's telling us that
that does not have to be the case.
Speaker 1 (52:17):
Right, science ever got history, Right, we can go back
and look at the Eastern cultures like you dig in India, right,
where where a lot of the spiritual command body connection
comes from.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1 (52:32):
That's shown the world.
Speaker 2 (52:33):
Your itself is in a bad way too, of course, right, So,
but there are the other side of India that's very
much like I'm talking. You're like you're talking that he's
looking to the bigger possibilities and yeah, coming out of
that conditioning and limiting beliefs and all of that stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:55):
Yeah, And I love that you're focused on that constellation
family constellation, right, because we do kind of I always
I kind of call that the backpack, right, We carry
like a backpack of what our family's given to us,
and we can keep carrying it and hand it to
our kids, or we can get rid of some of
that stuff from the.
Speaker 2 (53:15):
Backpack exactly exactly. And you know, if you tell people that,
they get it. It's really hard to understand how family
consolations works. But just going through a process, people come
out differently, right, And I believe we haven't yet got
(53:37):
full science to explain how it works yet, just as
you know, two hundred years ago, we didn't have the
science to explain how we could get light pubs on,
but you know say that they couldn't go on, just
that we didn't yet have the knowledge for it, you know.
So so if something works and I get profound results
(53:58):
with people and for myself, then guess what I'm going
to use it? And yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
You'll just thank you so much for joining us this
week on the show. Has been awesome to talk with you.
Where can our audience connect with you to find the
book and just stay involved in your network? See where
you're going?
Speaker 2 (54:21):
Well, my book is on Amazon and hopefully bookshops generally
but Amazon, definitely. My website is Yielderssathi dot com. That's
just my name, Yielderseefie dot com. Uh and work training
and sessions Rapid Core Healing dot com.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
Awesome. Just thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
I work work online, by the way, to let people
know that's a big change I've made in my work
that you know, COVID, you know, you know, I thought,
oh my god, my work's going to just die. And
we didn't know at that point whether we were all
going to come out of it or not. So I
(55:08):
put everything online and so now I'm available online for
training as well as sessions.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
Yeah. Awesome, Thank you so much for join us. Has
been an honor to share your story. Thank you so much,
and remember team, life is far too short to live
any other way than on purpose. We'll see you all
again next week.