October 8, 2025 • 19 mins
We need to talk about making habits stick .. grab your tea and let's get into it! For all the info about the work I do and TOM then head to ... www.theorganisedmethod.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
There weekend there.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I want to talk to you about the same day.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
That is really topical actually, because we're getting to that
time of year where September is coming gone and you
might be thinking to yourself, oh, I had such lovely
good intentions at the start of September. I thought when
the kids are going to go back to school, or
as soon as I felt that Chris blast of autumn, man,
I was going to be on it. Maybe you were
trying to do organized Christmas or something like that, And
now we're in where are we first end of the
(00:43):
first week in October, and.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
You're thinking, oh, yeah, that's all going out the window.
And this is.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Something I think that people very often don't give enough
headspace too, and it is crucial for making habits stick.
It's all well and good deciding that you want to
start a habit, but actually making it stick that is
a completely different ballgame. So that is what we were
going to talk about in today's episode. So grab yourself
(01:11):
a cup of tea, get nice and comfy, or pop
your headphones in and be productive whilst we chat away.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
So before we even start, I want.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
To talk to you about a little journey that I'm
on with the strength training. I signed up with a
personal trainer a few months ago with the idea that
I wanted to get stronger. I'm forty four now and
I love and have loved cardio most of my life.
I love that like buzz that it gives you. So
(01:39):
back in the day, I used to do Jillian Michael's
hit workouts and all that sort of stuff. I'll go running,
I'll go for hikes, I'll go on the spin bite
that sort of thing. I never really did any strength train.
I found it really boy, And when I was on
my own like trying to build that habit in, it
kind of never really stuck. I'd sort of play around
with it and I'd be like, yeah, I'd rather watch
paint dry because when I'm getting better at it nowt
(02:02):
but like when you strength, just like I would rather
be doing anything else.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Like That's how I feel anyway.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
But I knew that I needed to make a habit stick,
and I've been working with someone who's been like making
sure that I'm getting on with it and also reinforcing
the things that I already knew through like the work
that I would do with Tom and applying it to
different aspects so I want to share with you the
things that have helped me and that totally translate into
(02:32):
maintaining the TOM cleaning habit, but also can kind of
apply to anything as well. So if you're here, the
chances are that you want to kind of improve. And
the whole point of TOM is to improve your environment,
your lifestyle environment, so that you can get on and
do the more important things and also you can just
(02:53):
like enjoy life more. And I think if you're that
type of person you're like, oh, how can I make
this better? What can idea?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
La lah?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Then you will always be looking for ways to add
in new habits.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
But this is going to sound really harsh.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
If we had maintained every single habit that we'd started,
we would be totally different people. Like, just imagine that
for a second, how different your life could look, because
it's hard. It's really difficult maintaining new habits. It's much
easier to start them, but maintaining them is a completely
(03:32):
different story. And if you think about it, a whole
industry exists on helping you across all different type of
niches and sectors maintaining those habits. That's why we have
things like cleaning apps and pets and workout routines and
all that kind of stuff because as humans we kind
(03:55):
of I think, goes to the path of least resistance,
like it's it that way. I want to stay in
my comfort zone and to and to maintain a new habit,
you have to push yourself out of that comfort zone
a little bit, and sometimes that feels uncomfortable, and that
discomfort is very often what stops you from maintaining.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
So you pack it in and then a few months
later like.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Why did I stop? And you have to start all
over again. This episode is all about what we can
do to give us the biggest chance of making the
housekeeping or whatever habits stick. We're going to talk about
it in terms of housekeeping so that you don't have
to keep starting again, whilst also acknowledging that life can
(04:40):
get in the way sometimes and how to roll with
that but not quit. So let's go back to the beginning.
What is a habit? So I think a habit is
the way I.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Like to think of it, right, is that your brain
putting actions on some of the sort of auto pilots
so that you don't have to keep them in the
front of your brain in your mental load, if that
makes sense.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
So the way I'm such a visual person, the way
I look at my brain is like a stovetop cooker,
and you've got the back burners where things are simmering away,
and then you've got the front plates where maybe you've
got your eggs on there or the.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Things that require more immediate attention.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
So habits, when they are stuck and they are long
term for me, they're on the back burner. They are
simmering away. You kind of only need to stir them
every now and again. Think like a stew or a
slow cooker or something like that. They require minimal front
brain front burner attention.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Am I making any sense?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Like this is a deep dive into how my brain
function to Habits are basically your brain's way of ticking
things off your to do list without you having to
put too much thought into them, because they're getting dealt
with in the background. And that's why once you've nailed
the habit is that that's why once you nail the habit,
you don't really have to think about it. It just
(06:05):
becomes the second nature. And that is what we're aiming
for when it comes to something like the housework, and
there is some science behind it. So habits form through
a loop which starts off with a queue, so like
the start of the action or a trigger, and then
the thing that you actually.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Do, so the habit itself. So you have a trigger
for the habit, the action.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
The habit itself, and then the reward or the payoff
that makes you wants to do again, and this forms
this lovelyly.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
One of my favorite things to.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Do when you are trying to get back into the
housekeeping habit is to pick something that is going to
make the biggest functional or practical difference in one of
the engine rooms of your homes, like the kitchen or
the living room. The trigger is going to be I
need to clean that kitchen ireland.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
The action is.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
You actually doing it for ten minutes and fifteen minutes
so you've got a clear kitchen island that your kids
can actually eat their breakfast off of. And the reward
is going to be you walking into that kitchen in
the morning and for the morning routine to run so
much easier because your kids are able to sit down
and have breakfast.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
You feel really proud, do yourself.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Feel a bit smug, and that is going to want
you to do it again so you can try. We're
trying to form these lovely positive loops, habitual loops. So
we know, don't we that it takes on average a
couple of months to form a habit, and it is
no coincidence. There's no coincidence that the organized method runs
(07:31):
in an eight week rolling cycle because we are trying
to cement that habit, form that lovely positive loop to
how do we start now? I bang on about this
all the time. Start small, you have to you have
to start small. And the reason for this is we
are all busy people.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
We've got one.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Thousand and one things going on, especially this time of year.
We're heading into the darker months, so it feels like
there's less time in the day. It feels like you've
got less energy. And if you've got kids, then school
terms are going crazy. There's all sorts of things happening,
like pantomimes, getting ready for trips, easing kids into school.
We've got Christmas coming, you've got Halloween, blah blah blah. Right,
(08:11):
So adding a really complicated habit that's long winded and
it's going to take a lot of time and a
lot of energy out of your day isn't necessarily going
to be the right way to go, because it just
might cause you to be overwhelmed and it's not going
to give you that lovely loop because that action is
going to take too long and instead of getting a reward,
(08:32):
you might just end up feeling really frustrated and then
the loop breaks. Right. So if you.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Start with something small, small actions are absolutely the way
to go.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
And I know it's a little bit of a trade
off here because if you are raring to go, it
can be frustrating if you are only doing little bits
at a time. But I promise you, please, I promise you.
If you want to make this a long term, sustainable
second nature habit, backburn a thing in your brain, please
start small.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
You want to shock your system, the start small and
just relax about it.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Well, this is going to be This is going to
be a habit that is going to be with you
for the long term.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
So it's not like it's going to.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Run off and you have to catch it and trap it.
Just relax, start small, and it could be that you
just do ten minutes of tom one day and the
next minute you do fifteen and as luck would, habit
a lovely build a habit. Series of Tom Rock sessions
have gone live this week on the tom app and
that is going to help you start building this habit.
(09:33):
So we do day one ten minutes, Day two fifteen minutes,
Day three twenty minutes, day for thirty minutes, and you
can apply that to classic tom as in cleaning for
that time, or you can use it for anything. Any
habit could be strength training, it could be getting your
steps in. It is so versatile, but it's almost like
easing yourself in gently. Think of it like when you
(09:55):
go to the beach and then the beach and the
sea just shell really gently and it just gets deeper
and deeper and deeper. It's not like a massive drop off.
It's nice and gradual. So think about starting small, like
really small, making your bed every morning. Wait for that
habit to stick. Think of that lovely loop you make
(10:17):
your bed and when you get back into your bedroom
in the evening after a long day, your bed isn't
all crumpled and looks like a state from the morning.
That reminds you that you got up in a rash
and everything was just a bit frenzied, in a bit
of a nightmare. When you walk into that bedroom and
there's a made bed, feels calmer, reminds you that you
nailed it first thing in the morning.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
You feel super proud of.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yourself and you're going to want to maintain that lovely
positive loop. Just worry about actually doing it. Doesn't matter
if you do it messy, just do it now, obviously right.
Every day is going to be different. You might get
six cold and flu season, you might have a really
(11:00):
busy day at work, or you know, and it's just
like so we have to factor in a couple of
things that are both as important when we think about
maintaining a habit, and that is time, and that is energy.
And your energy level is just as important as the
amount of time you have. And I think a lot
(11:22):
of people don't give enough thought to that because you
might come home for a busy day at work and
you might have thirty minutes or an hour whilst your
dinner's cooking in the oven. So theoretically you have time
to get some housework done, but realistically you are absolutely exhausted.
(11:43):
You've been on your feet all day and you just
want to sit on the sofa and have a cup
of tea in the zone out or you might only
have a ten minute window before work and feel completely energized,
but then equally feel frustrated that you don't have enough time,
but you do have the energy, which is why I
always say you can only ever do the very best
(12:04):
with the time and energy that you have. Right, time
and energy, I think of them like cash in a
similar way. You have a budget. You can't overspend it,
otherwise you're going to go into debt, like you're going
to absolutely exhaust yourself and burnout, or you're going to
be working into the wee hours of the morning and
then feel absolutely shattered the next day. So work out
(12:24):
what your time and energy budget is. And also and
that can differ from day to day. Right and when
you're thinking about maintaining a habit, just show up, just
do it. If you have just got ten minutes, just
do ten minutes. The biggest killer of this habit's forming
would be you going, well, there's no point of doing
its day because I haven't got thirty minutes. So I'm
(12:45):
just going to not don't do that because we want
to form the habit, Just do ten That is going
to keep that habit in the front of your mind,
so you just keep feeding it, keep nurturing it until
you created that long term habit, and it can just
go to that back burner of your brain and pretty
(13:05):
much similar way without you having to really think about it.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Just give it the odd little stir every now and again.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Another really important thing to consider is when is a
realistic time they're or thereabouts. It might differ from day
to day for you to be doing this cleaning. So
for me, like talking about working out, I cannot work
out in the morning. I just got my brain, my body.
I feel ill like if I work out before lunchtime.
(13:35):
If I work out before lunchtime, like forget it. I
just have a really bad workout. I am not a
morning person. So for me, the ideal time and I've
learned this over the years. I've tried to push back
against it doesn't work right. I've learned to work with
my body. Best time for me to work out is
early evening, So after I've finished my work for the day,
(13:55):
after I've got the housewot done, I've picked the kids
up from school, I know where everybody is. That's when
I can do my workout. That is when I function best.
So think about yourself. Are you a morning person. Would
you rather get it done in the evening? Be realistic
and work with the structure of your life and then
work or.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
With the current structure of your life.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Try and fit the habit in somewhere that seems obvious,
because if you don't do it that way, if you
try and shoehorn it into the different part of your
day like I did, like trying to make myself a
morning person to work out, you are going to be
swimming against the tide. Is that the right phrase. You're
going to be You're going to be going in the
wrong direction and you're going to make things a thousand
(14:38):
times harder for yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Just like exercise.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
For those days where you think, oh, I just can't
just do something, even if it's just cleaning the loo
or running the vacuum round for.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Five minutes, just do something.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
That's why on tom we have level one jobs, which
are fifteen minutes worth of work just to keep the
wolf from the door. So if you don't have chance
to your level two jobs like Monday living room, Tuesday bedroom,
that kind of thing, you have at least got something
done so you're not breaking that loop.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
You are maintaining the habit because it is just like exercise.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Any type of movement in exercise counts saying with housework,
it all adds up, not saying, you know, cut yourself
some slack. I think we all need to be kinder
on ourselves. It doesn't matter if one day you've only
got five minutes done. The thing that I really want
you to focus on is that you've got something done.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Really hone in on that.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
That is the most important thing that I need you
to be getting into bed every night and going, well,
I know what, I did get something done. I felt
like it would have been easier for me not to
but I'm super proud of myself because I did put
that laundry away, or I did do that ten minutes
of decluttering that I promised myself I was going to do.
Because when we promise ourselves something, and this is the
(16:00):
same thing as well that we don't really talk often about, right,
And this is without getting too deep into psychology and
all of that stuff. If you say to yourself, I
am going to promise myself that I am going to
maintain this housekeeping habit, and I'm going to feel a
lot calmer. At the end of the eight week tom cycle,
and then we can you kind of break that promise
(16:21):
to yourself, it can erode your self confidence and your
self esteem. So by showing up for yourself, no matter
how messy, no matter how small, by maintaining that promise
that you've made to yourself, you will find that your
self confidence grows little by little. And I know it's silly,
it sounds silly. It's not silly. It sounds silly. I
(16:44):
know it's just housework. But with all of the people
that I've worked with over the years, the most common
thing that people say to me is, I can't believe
how much more confident I feel like I've nailed this
habit that I've been trying to nail years, and now
all of a sudden, I have the confidence that I
can add in exercise, or I can add in working
(17:07):
on starting a business, or I can add in studying
for that part time course.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
That I want to do. Show up for yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
This isn't just about having plump cushions and you know,
a clean surface in your kitchen. This is about improving
the environment in which you live, and that you want
to do that for yourself. That's the whole point. You're
trying to start and maintain this habit. So prioritize that
show up for yourself and don't break that promise.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
You just need to start in.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
A realistic, small, achievable, maintainable way so that you just
keep coming back, Just keep coming back, keep it small,
keep it.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Realistic, work with your time, work with your energy, and
don't forget the TOM app. The Organized Method app is
built around all of these ideas, the whole of the routine,
the whole the structure. Organized Christmas is all about small
actionable steps that we can build realistically into our life
with the cleaning with the life admin so that you
(18:11):
don't get so overwhelmed that you break that loop. We
want you to maintain that loop. And then obviously we
have the Tom Rocks guiding sessions as well, so if
you need me on your shoulder whilst you're starting or
maintaining that habit, then head to the Tom Rocks section
of the app and you can try the whole app
for free for seven days and after that it's three
(18:33):
ninety nine a month and hopefully you know, with a
little help from me with the tom community the TOM app,
we can really help to maintain and also build this
housekeeping habit, and you will get there.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
You just need to keep doing something. Every lovely luck's back.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
There. We can do sticks to do them.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
We can belylypics to doo there.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
We can be a tactics to do there. We can
stas
There weekend there.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I want to talk to you about the same day.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
That is really topical actually, because we're getting to that
time of year where September is coming gone and you
might be thinking to yourself, oh, I had such lovely
good intentions at the start of September. I thought when
the kids are going to go back to school, or
as soon as I felt that Chris blast of autumn, man,
I was going to be on it. Maybe you were
trying to do organized Christmas or something like that, And
now we're in where are we first end of the
(00:43):
first week in October, and.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
You're thinking, oh, yeah, that's all going out the window.
And this is.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Something I think that people very often don't give enough
headspace too, and it is crucial for making habits stick.
It's all well and good deciding that you want to
start a habit, but actually making it stick that is
a completely different ballgame. So that is what we were
going to talk about in today's episode. So grab yourself
(01:11):
a cup of tea, get nice and comfy, or pop
your headphones in and be productive whilst we chat away.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
So before we even start, I want.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
To talk to you about a little journey that I'm
on with the strength training. I signed up with a
personal trainer a few months ago with the idea that
I wanted to get stronger. I'm forty four now and
I love and have loved cardio most of my life.
I love that like buzz that it gives you. So
(01:39):
back in the day, I used to do Jillian Michael's
hit workouts and all that sort of stuff. I'll go running,
I'll go for hikes, I'll go on the spin bite
that sort of thing. I never really did any strength train.
I found it really boy, And when I was on
my own like trying to build that habit in, it
kind of never really stuck. I'd sort of play around
with it and I'd be like, yeah, I'd rather watch
paint dry because when I'm getting better at it nowt
(02:02):
but like when you strength, just like I would rather
be doing anything else.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Like That's how I feel anyway.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
But I knew that I needed to make a habit stick,
and I've been working with someone who's been like making
sure that I'm getting on with it and also reinforcing
the things that I already knew through like the work
that I would do with Tom and applying it to
different aspects so I want to share with you the
things that have helped me and that totally translate into
(02:32):
maintaining the TOM cleaning habit, but also can kind of
apply to anything as well. So if you're here, the
chances are that you want to kind of improve. And
the whole point of TOM is to improve your environment,
your lifestyle environment, so that you can get on and
do the more important things and also you can just
(02:53):
like enjoy life more. And I think if you're that
type of person you're like, oh, how can I make
this better? What can idea?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
La lah?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Then you will always be looking for ways to add
in new habits.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
But this is going to sound really harsh.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
If we had maintained every single habit that we'd started,
we would be totally different people. Like, just imagine that
for a second, how different your life could look, because
it's hard. It's really difficult maintaining new habits. It's much
easier to start them, but maintaining them is a completely
(03:32):
different story. And if you think about it, a whole
industry exists on helping you across all different type of
niches and sectors maintaining those habits. That's why we have
things like cleaning apps and pets and workout routines and
all that kind of stuff because as humans we kind
(03:55):
of I think, goes to the path of least resistance,
like it's it that way. I want to stay in
my comfort zone and to and to maintain a new habit,
you have to push yourself out of that comfort zone
a little bit, and sometimes that feels uncomfortable, and that
discomfort is very often what stops you from maintaining.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
So you pack it in and then a few months
later like.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Why did I stop? And you have to start all
over again. This episode is all about what we can
do to give us the biggest chance of making the
housekeeping or whatever habits stick. We're going to talk about
it in terms of housekeeping so that you don't have
to keep starting again, whilst also acknowledging that life can
(04:40):
get in the way sometimes and how to roll with
that but not quit. So let's go back to the beginning.
What is a habit? So I think a habit is
the way I.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Like to think of it, right, is that your brain
putting actions on some of the sort of auto pilots
so that you don't have to keep them in the
front of your brain in your mental load, if that
makes sense.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
So the way I'm such a visual person, the way
I look at my brain is like a stovetop cooker,
and you've got the back burners where things are simmering away,
and then you've got the front plates where maybe you've
got your eggs on there or the.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Things that require more immediate attention.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
So habits, when they are stuck and they are long
term for me, they're on the back burner. They are
simmering away. You kind of only need to stir them
every now and again. Think like a stew or a
slow cooker or something like that. They require minimal front
brain front burner attention.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Am I making any sense?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Like this is a deep dive into how my brain
function to Habits are basically your brain's way of ticking
things off your to do list without you having to
put too much thought into them, because they're getting dealt
with in the background. And that's why once you've nailed
the habit is that that's why once you nail the habit,
you don't really have to think about it. It just
(06:05):
becomes the second nature. And that is what we're aiming
for when it comes to something like the housework, and
there is some science behind it. So habits form through
a loop which starts off with a queue, so like
the start of the action or a trigger, and then
the thing that you actually.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Do, so the habit itself. So you have a trigger
for the habit, the action.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
The habit itself, and then the reward or the payoff
that makes you wants to do again, and this forms
this lovelyly.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
One of my favorite things to.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Do when you are trying to get back into the
housekeeping habit is to pick something that is going to
make the biggest functional or practical difference in one of
the engine rooms of your homes, like the kitchen or
the living room. The trigger is going to be I
need to clean that kitchen ireland.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
The action is.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
You actually doing it for ten minutes and fifteen minutes
so you've got a clear kitchen island that your kids
can actually eat their breakfast off of. And the reward
is going to be you walking into that kitchen in
the morning and for the morning routine to run so
much easier because your kids are able to sit down
and have breakfast.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
You feel really proud, do yourself.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Feel a bit smug, and that is going to want
you to do it again so you can try. We're
trying to form these lovely positive loops, habitual loops. So
we know, don't we that it takes on average a
couple of months to form a habit, and it is
no coincidence. There's no coincidence that the organized method runs
(07:31):
in an eight week rolling cycle because we are trying
to cement that habit, form that lovely positive loop to
how do we start now? I bang on about this
all the time. Start small, you have to you have
to start small. And the reason for this is we
are all busy people.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
We've got one.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Thousand and one things going on, especially this time of year.
We're heading into the darker months, so it feels like
there's less time in the day. It feels like you've
got less energy. And if you've got kids, then school
terms are going crazy. There's all sorts of things happening,
like pantomimes, getting ready for trips, easing kids into school.
We've got Christmas coming, you've got Halloween, blah blah blah. Right,
(08:11):
So adding a really complicated habit that's long winded and
it's going to take a lot of time and a
lot of energy out of your day isn't necessarily going
to be the right way to go, because it just
might cause you to be overwhelmed and it's not going
to give you that lovely loop because that action is
going to take too long and instead of getting a reward,
(08:32):
you might just end up feeling really frustrated and then
the loop breaks. Right. So if you.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Start with something small, small actions are absolutely the way
to go.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
And I know it's a little bit of a trade
off here because if you are raring to go, it
can be frustrating if you are only doing little bits
at a time. But I promise you, please, I promise you.
If you want to make this a long term, sustainable
second nature habit, backburn a thing in your brain, please
start small.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
You want to shock your system, the start small and
just relax about it.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Well, this is going to be This is going to
be a habit that is going to be with you
for the long term.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
So it's not like it's going to.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Run off and you have to catch it and trap it.
Just relax, start small, and it could be that you
just do ten minutes of tom one day and the
next minute you do fifteen and as luck would, habit
a lovely build a habit. Series of Tom Rock sessions
have gone live this week on the tom app and
that is going to help you start building this habit.
(09:33):
So we do day one ten minutes, Day two fifteen minutes,
Day three twenty minutes, day for thirty minutes, and you
can apply that to classic tom as in cleaning for
that time, or you can use it for anything. Any
habit could be strength training, it could be getting your
steps in. It is so versatile, but it's almost like
easing yourself in gently. Think of it like when you
(09:55):
go to the beach and then the beach and the
sea just shell really gently and it just gets deeper
and deeper and deeper. It's not like a massive drop off.
It's nice and gradual. So think about starting small, like
really small, making your bed every morning. Wait for that
habit to stick. Think of that lovely loop you make
(10:17):
your bed and when you get back into your bedroom
in the evening after a long day, your bed isn't
all crumpled and looks like a state from the morning.
That reminds you that you got up in a rash
and everything was just a bit frenzied, in a bit
of a nightmare. When you walk into that bedroom and
there's a made bed, feels calmer, reminds you that you
nailed it first thing in the morning.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
You feel super proud of.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yourself and you're going to want to maintain that lovely
positive loop. Just worry about actually doing it. Doesn't matter
if you do it messy, just do it now, obviously right.
Every day is going to be different. You might get
six cold and flu season, you might have a really
(11:00):
busy day at work, or you know, and it's just
like so we have to factor in a couple of
things that are both as important when we think about
maintaining a habit, and that is time, and that is energy.
And your energy level is just as important as the
amount of time you have. And I think a lot
(11:22):
of people don't give enough thought to that because you
might come home for a busy day at work and
you might have thirty minutes or an hour whilst your
dinner's cooking in the oven. So theoretically you have time
to get some housework done, but realistically you are absolutely exhausted.
(11:43):
You've been on your feet all day and you just
want to sit on the sofa and have a cup
of tea in the zone out or you might only
have a ten minute window before work and feel completely energized,
but then equally feel frustrated that you don't have enough time,
but you do have the energy, which is why I
always say you can only ever do the very best
(12:04):
with the time and energy that you have. Right, time
and energy, I think of them like cash in a
similar way. You have a budget. You can't overspend it,
otherwise you're going to go into debt, like you're going
to absolutely exhaust yourself and burnout, or you're going to
be working into the wee hours of the morning and
then feel absolutely shattered the next day. So work out
(12:24):
what your time and energy budget is. And also and
that can differ from day to day. Right and when
you're thinking about maintaining a habit, just show up, just
do it. If you have just got ten minutes, just
do ten minutes. The biggest killer of this habit's forming
would be you going, well, there's no point of doing
its day because I haven't got thirty minutes. So I'm
(12:45):
just going to not don't do that because we want
to form the habit, Just do ten That is going
to keep that habit in the front of your mind,
so you just keep feeding it, keep nurturing it until
you created that long term habit, and it can just
go to that back burner of your brain and pretty
(13:05):
much similar way without you having to really think about it.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Just give it the odd little stir every now and again.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Another really important thing to consider is when is a
realistic time they're or thereabouts. It might differ from day
to day for you to be doing this cleaning. So
for me, like talking about working out, I cannot work
out in the morning. I just got my brain, my body.
I feel ill like if I work out before lunchtime.
(13:35):
If I work out before lunchtime, like forget it. I
just have a really bad workout. I am not a
morning person. So for me, the ideal time and I've
learned this over the years. I've tried to push back
against it doesn't work right. I've learned to work with
my body. Best time for me to work out is
early evening, So after I've finished my work for the day,
(13:55):
after I've got the housewot done, I've picked the kids
up from school, I know where everybody is. That's when
I can do my workout. That is when I function best.
So think about yourself. Are you a morning person. Would
you rather get it done in the evening? Be realistic
and work with the structure of your life and then
work or.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
With the current structure of your life.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Try and fit the habit in somewhere that seems obvious,
because if you don't do it that way, if you
try and shoehorn it into the different part of your
day like I did, like trying to make myself a
morning person to work out, you are going to be
swimming against the tide. Is that the right phrase. You're
going to be You're going to be going in the
wrong direction and you're going to make things a thousand
(14:38):
times harder for yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Just like exercise.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
For those days where you think, oh, I just can't
just do something, even if it's just cleaning the loo
or running the vacuum round for.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Five minutes, just do something.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
That's why on tom we have level one jobs, which
are fifteen minutes worth of work just to keep the
wolf from the door. So if you don't have chance
to your level two jobs like Monday living room, Tuesday bedroom,
that kind of thing, you have at least got something
done so you're not breaking that loop.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
You are maintaining the habit because it is just like exercise.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Any type of movement in exercise counts saying with housework,
it all adds up, not saying, you know, cut yourself
some slack. I think we all need to be kinder
on ourselves. It doesn't matter if one day you've only
got five minutes done. The thing that I really want
you to focus on is that you've got something done.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Really hone in on that.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
That is the most important thing that I need you
to be getting into bed every night and going, well,
I know what, I did get something done. I felt
like it would have been easier for me not to
but I'm super proud of myself because I did put
that laundry away, or I did do that ten minutes
of decluttering that I promised myself I was going to do.
Because when we promise ourselves something, and this is the
(16:00):
same thing as well that we don't really talk often about, right,
And this is without getting too deep into psychology and
all of that stuff. If you say to yourself, I
am going to promise myself that I am going to
maintain this housekeeping habit, and I'm going to feel a
lot calmer. At the end of the eight week tom cycle,
and then we can you kind of break that promise
(16:21):
to yourself, it can erode your self confidence and your
self esteem. So by showing up for yourself, no matter
how messy, no matter how small, by maintaining that promise
that you've made to yourself, you will find that your
self confidence grows little by little. And I know it's silly,
it sounds silly. It's not silly. It sounds silly. I
(16:44):
know it's just housework. But with all of the people
that I've worked with over the years, the most common
thing that people say to me is, I can't believe
how much more confident I feel like I've nailed this
habit that I've been trying to nail years, and now
all of a sudden, I have the confidence that I
can add in exercise, or I can add in working
(17:07):
on starting a business, or I can add in studying
for that part time course.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
That I want to do. Show up for yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
This isn't just about having plump cushions and you know,
a clean surface in your kitchen. This is about improving
the environment in which you live, and that you want
to do that for yourself. That's the whole point. You're
trying to start and maintain this habit. So prioritize that
show up for yourself and don't break that promise.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
You just need to start in.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
A realistic, small, achievable, maintainable way so that you just
keep coming back, Just keep coming back, keep it small,
keep it.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Realistic, work with your time, work with your energy, and
don't forget the TOM app. The Organized Method app is
built around all of these ideas, the whole of the routine,
the whole the structure. Organized Christmas is all about small
actionable steps that we can build realistically into our life
with the cleaning with the life admin so that you
(18:11):
don't get so overwhelmed that you break that loop. We
want you to maintain that loop. And then obviously we
have the Tom Rocks guiding sessions as well, so if
you need me on your shoulder whilst you're starting or
maintaining that habit, then head to the Tom Rocks section
of the app and you can try the whole app
for free for seven days and after that it's three
(18:33):
ninety nine a month and hopefully you know, with a
little help from me with the tom community the TOM app,
we can really help to maintain and also build this
housekeeping habit, and you will get there.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
You just need to keep doing something. Every lovely luck's back.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
There. We can do sticks to do them.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
We can belylypics to doo there.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
We can be a tactics to do there. We can
stas
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