September 29, 2024 • 8 mins
🌟Hey there TeamTOM! How are you all doing? This episode is must listen if you are feeling like the housework is a bit of a thankless task.
Here is the link to everything that you need. https://theorganisedmum.com/quick-links/
If you have a question that you would like answered on the show please email contact@theorganisedmum.comÂ
Listen to the TOM Rocks Guided sessions via The Organised Mum app. We’ll start you off with a 7 day free trial 🎉 TOM Rocks guided sessions are available via an in app subscription on The Organised Mum cleaning app. Or listen via Patreon 📱 If you don't need the cleaning app and just want the guided sessions then head to Patreon and search for The Organised Mum (please note that you are not able to save your faves or play your own music with this option)
Here is the link to everything that you need. https://theorganisedmum.com/quick-links/
If you have a question that you would like answered on the show please email contact@theorganisedmum.comÂ
Listen to the TOM Rocks Guided sessions via The Organised Mum app. We’ll start you off with a 7 day free trial 🎉 TOM Rocks guided sessions are available via an in app subscription on The Organised Mum cleaning app. Or listen via Patreon 📱 If you don't need the cleaning app and just want the guided sessions then head to Patreon and search for The Organised Mum (please note that you are not able to save your faves or play your own music with this option)
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lighting my candle it started raining, which means it's never
going to stop, and taking the dogs for a lot
come back anyway, I thought we'd have a chat stay
about sometimes it feels like why do I even bother?
Why do I even bother? I saw a question in
the Facebook group about this, and it was just like,
I've just spend ages declustering the living room. I've got
(00:21):
rid of two bags of toys. I've taken them to
the charry shop or whatever, and I've come back and
my kid has. Actually someone referred to kids as agents
of chaos, which I thought was actually hilarious. My kid
is the living room is upside down again. And I
think if we think like that, we will drive ourselves mad,
(00:41):
won't we? We will just drive ourselves around the bend,
because we know, don't we, that housework is never ending.
It's a never ending thing that we have to do.
Even if we spend eight hours doing the houseworks day,
there will be more to do tomorrow. And that's once
you come to that. At first, it seems like quite
(01:03):
depressing realization. Once you've come to terms with it, I
promise you it's actually quite freeing because it enables you
to put a full stop on it, and just do
the very best with the time and energy that you
have on the day. So let's take this question that
we had in the Facebook group as an example. I
don't know why I bother like I've just done all this.
I feel like all of my hard work has been undone.
(01:24):
It hasn't there. If you have spent an hour decluttering
and that stuff has gone, you've you know, you know
your exits, they've gone to the exit, and you've not
just created a doom pile, didn't organize, only move pile.
That's a positive because you've got that stuff out of
your house. It's gone. You've created space, there's less stuff
to tidy, there is less clutter, so you actually have
(01:45):
made progress. And I look at it in like layers.
So you've got all of this base work that's going
on underneath. So maybe that's decluttering, maybe you're doing the
Messy House bootcamp, or maybe you're just following Tom. That
base work is those thirds minutes of your living room
day or whatever. And then like you've got this top
layer of just daily life and daily mess which is
(02:08):
what happened to this lady had toddler or a four
year old created daily mess because they were playing with
their toys. And that is normal, that is a normal
part of life. But the difference to remember here is
you've got this top layer and yeah, it's annoying, and
at first glance it can appear that all of your
hard work has been undone, but has it though, that's
(02:29):
surface level mess unless your toddler has like taken them
uppy off and rubbed it against the wall like, it
doesn't mean it's dirty. It's just messy. And I think
sometimes just remembering that there's a massive difference between a
messy room, surface level mess and an unclean room. There's
(02:51):
a huge difference, huge difference. It's perfectly possible to have
a room that has surface level messy because maybe you've
just cooked a meal, toddler has played or something like that,
and a room that is truly dirty. But I co
get it. I get it. It's so it's so destroying,
isn't it. It's sol destroying, especially if you like you
already feel as well like you are the person that's
(03:13):
taken on the majority of the housework, and maybe you
feel like it's a thankless task and nobody appreciates it.
And I think this is a feeling that is universal
to most of us, Like I feel like that we're
not superhuman. We have peaks and troughs in our energy
and in our mood. And sometimes you know you're having
a bad day and you've really tried your best to
(03:34):
keep the house looking nice, and something out of your
control happens to make it feel like you've gone back
a step, and you're just like, I actually don't know
why bother. And in these situations, I think it's really
nice just to take a breath. Just stop, take a breath.
The power of Tom, the power of Tom. Knowing that
you've got this structure, this scaffold, this routine, it's almost
(03:56):
like a backstop and a safety net. It's telling you, like,
I know, right now, you've just walked into your kitchen
and your teenagers just made noodles and it literally looks
like they've attempted to create a five course talking from experience,
a five course meal here. But maybe we did the
kitchen yesterday, or maybe we're going to get around and
do the kitchen tomorrow. It saves all of that mental load,
(04:18):
like all of the housework being dumped onto you and
you're thinking, oh, my gosh, I can't. I'm feel so overwhelmed.
I can't cope with this. I feel like, no matter
how hard I try, nothing is getting better. But that's
what Tom is there for, so that you can think
to yourself, right, Okay, yeah, the kitchen is messy, the
living room is messy, but I know I went in
there and cleaned it yesterday, or I'm going to be
in there and clean it tomorrow. It's fine. It just
(04:40):
takes away that massive overwhelmed You know what I've started
doing as well. I started just closing the door on
my teenager's rooms, like I'm just like, I can't, I
can't do this. Like one's almost sixteen, the other's eighteen,
and like teenagers are notoriously messy. You only have to
spend five minutes in the Facebook group and like everyone
(05:00):
is just like, oh my god. So you've got a
toddler who poses one type of challenge in terms of housework,
and then you've got teenagers who are basically adults, posing
a different type of challenge. And we aren't speaking. We
can't run our homes like their hotels, ready for an
inspection at any second. I think come into turns with
that and doing what I do, like just closing the
(05:22):
door and teenagers room saying like, I haven't got time
for that today. I know it's clean, it's salatary, but
you know there's about eighteen cops and plates in there,
and I've got to go and do some work, or
i want to go and go for a workout. I
want to go and walk the dogs. I've done my
cleaning today. I'm going to deal with that and I'm
not going to think about it until a different day
or better still, I'm just going to get them to
do it. Take shut the door, give them responsibility, make
(05:46):
them take ownership of their space. And yet it's not
going to improve overnight. They're going to practice, they're going
to get better, they're going to work out what they
need to be cleaning on a regular basis, something like
with some grumballs and this sort of stuff. But they
have to learn. They have to learn it for life.
So you'll be doing them no favors by going in
and just doing it all for them. It might make
you feel better in the short term, as in like Okay,
(06:09):
the house is clean, but in the long term, is
it really serving you and them? Like you're spending your
time doing it, it's going to make me resentful. And
also they're not learning. So it's totally okay to just
shut the door and stick to the priorities. On those
days when you are feeling overwhelmed, go outside the housework
will always be there, and remember to cling on to Tom.
(06:31):
And the other thing to remember is surface level mess.
It's fine, you can deal with that. It's really easy.
Chuck everything in a basket at the end of the day.
It's this layer. If you are persistent, consistent with that
regular work, the decluttering following Tom doing a boot camp
if you need to, it's going to make this top
layer much easier to deal with because if you are
regularly decluttering and cleaning your house, it's going to be
(06:54):
easier to tidy this surface level away. It's going to
seem less of an ordeal and you're going to feel
better because you know that you are in a routine
and sometimes you know you just need to vents, you
just need to have a chat with someone, and that
is why the Facebook group is there. If you're not
part of the Facebook group, log on search the Organized
Mom community and you will find us and like, just
(07:14):
make s a cup of tea, start chatting, I guarantee
someone will be online, and there are so many supportive
and encouraging voices on there, and sometimes that's all it takes,
isn't it just be Oh yeah, someone. I don't necessarily
someone to solve this problem for me. I can't solve
your housework problems for you. I can give you tools
to make it easier. I can't make the housework go away.
And sometimes you don't need someone to solve the problem.
(07:36):
You just need someone to listen. And that's why the
Facebook group is a really great place to hang out
when you're feeling a little bit Now. The Tom Rocks
sessions that are coming next week, we have got let's
just keep calm and do the sheets. We've got a
thirty minute session where we are just doing a bed
sheet change. That's a lovely one, nice and calm, nice
and chilled. We've got the Organized Christmas a week five
(07:58):
ambient session. And we have got let's cook dinner together,
a lovely keep me company session where I will be
in your ears whilst you're cooking, because sometimes, again when
you're at the end of the day and you could
be at the end of your tether and I now
I've got to cook spaghetti bionets just from a five
year old throat up the wall. It's just nice to
have a friend in your rear, but I understand I've
been there as well. I hope wherever you are in
(08:18):
the world you're happy, healthy and well. And until we
have a chat again, don't forget there is more to
life in healthwork. Bye.
Lighting my candle it started raining, which means it's never
going to stop, and taking the dogs for a lot
come back anyway, I thought we'd have a chat stay
about sometimes it feels like why do I even bother?
Why do I even bother? I saw a question in
the Facebook group about this, and it was just like,
I've just spend ages declustering the living room. I've got
(00:21):
rid of two bags of toys. I've taken them to
the charry shop or whatever, and I've come back and
my kid has. Actually someone referred to kids as agents
of chaos, which I thought was actually hilarious. My kid
is the living room is upside down again. And I
think if we think like that, we will drive ourselves mad,
(00:41):
won't we? We will just drive ourselves around the bend,
because we know, don't we, that housework is never ending.
It's a never ending thing that we have to do.
Even if we spend eight hours doing the houseworks day,
there will be more to do tomorrow. And that's once
you come to that. At first, it seems like quite
(01:03):
depressing realization. Once you've come to terms with it, I
promise you it's actually quite freeing because it enables you
to put a full stop on it, and just do
the very best with the time and energy that you
have on the day. So let's take this question that
we had in the Facebook group as an example. I
don't know why I bother like I've just done all this.
I feel like all of my hard work has been undone.
(01:24):
It hasn't there. If you have spent an hour decluttering
and that stuff has gone, you've you know, you know
your exits, they've gone to the exit, and you've not
just created a doom pile, didn't organize, only move pile.
That's a positive because you've got that stuff out of
your house. It's gone. You've created space, there's less stuff
to tidy, there is less clutter, so you actually have
(01:45):
made progress. And I look at it in like layers.
So you've got all of this base work that's going
on underneath. So maybe that's decluttering, maybe you're doing the
Messy House bootcamp, or maybe you're just following Tom. That
base work is those thirds minutes of your living room
day or whatever. And then like you've got this top
layer of just daily life and daily mess which is
(02:08):
what happened to this lady had toddler or a four
year old created daily mess because they were playing with
their toys. And that is normal, that is a normal
part of life. But the difference to remember here is
you've got this top layer and yeah, it's annoying, and
at first glance it can appear that all of your
hard work has been undone, but has it though, that's
(02:29):
surface level mess unless your toddler has like taken them
uppy off and rubbed it against the wall like, it
doesn't mean it's dirty. It's just messy. And I think
sometimes just remembering that there's a massive difference between a
messy room, surface level mess and an unclean room. There's
(02:51):
a huge difference, huge difference. It's perfectly possible to have
a room that has surface level messy because maybe you've
just cooked a meal, toddler has played or something like that,
and a room that is truly dirty. But I co
get it. I get it. It's so it's so destroying,
isn't it. It's sol destroying, especially if you like you
already feel as well like you are the person that's
(03:13):
taken on the majority of the housework, and maybe you
feel like it's a thankless task and nobody appreciates it.
And I think this is a feeling that is universal
to most of us, Like I feel like that we're
not superhuman. We have peaks and troughs in our energy
and in our mood. And sometimes you know you're having
a bad day and you've really tried your best to
(03:34):
keep the house looking nice, and something out of your
control happens to make it feel like you've gone back
a step, and you're just like, I actually don't know
why bother. And in these situations, I think it's really
nice just to take a breath. Just stop, take a breath.
The power of Tom, the power of Tom. Knowing that
you've got this structure, this scaffold, this routine, it's almost
(03:56):
like a backstop and a safety net. It's telling you, like,
I know, right now, you've just walked into your kitchen
and your teenagers just made noodles and it literally looks
like they've attempted to create a five course talking from experience,
a five course meal here. But maybe we did the
kitchen yesterday, or maybe we're going to get around and
do the kitchen tomorrow. It saves all of that mental load,
(04:18):
like all of the housework being dumped onto you and
you're thinking, oh, my gosh, I can't. I'm feel so overwhelmed.
I can't cope with this. I feel like, no matter
how hard I try, nothing is getting better. But that's
what Tom is there for, so that you can think
to yourself, right, Okay, yeah, the kitchen is messy, the
living room is messy, but I know I went in
there and cleaned it yesterday, or I'm going to be
in there and clean it tomorrow. It's fine. It just
(04:40):
takes away that massive overwhelmed You know what I've started
doing as well. I started just closing the door on
my teenager's rooms, like I'm just like, I can't, I
can't do this. Like one's almost sixteen, the other's eighteen,
and like teenagers are notoriously messy. You only have to
spend five minutes in the Facebook group and like everyone
(05:00):
is just like, oh my god. So you've got a
toddler who poses one type of challenge in terms of housework,
and then you've got teenagers who are basically adults, posing
a different type of challenge. And we aren't speaking. We
can't run our homes like their hotels, ready for an
inspection at any second. I think come into turns with
that and doing what I do, like just closing the
(05:22):
door and teenagers room saying like, I haven't got time
for that today. I know it's clean, it's salatary, but
you know there's about eighteen cops and plates in there,
and I've got to go and do some work, or
i want to go and go for a workout. I
want to go and walk the dogs. I've done my
cleaning today. I'm going to deal with that and I'm
not going to think about it until a different day
or better still, I'm just going to get them to
do it. Take shut the door, give them responsibility, make
(05:46):
them take ownership of their space. And yet it's not
going to improve overnight. They're going to practice, they're going
to get better, they're going to work out what they
need to be cleaning on a regular basis, something like
with some grumballs and this sort of stuff. But they
have to learn. They have to learn it for life.
So you'll be doing them no favors by going in
and just doing it all for them. It might make
you feel better in the short term, as in like Okay,
(06:09):
the house is clean, but in the long term, is
it really serving you and them? Like you're spending your
time doing it, it's going to make me resentful. And
also they're not learning. So it's totally okay to just
shut the door and stick to the priorities. On those
days when you are feeling overwhelmed, go outside the housework
will always be there, and remember to cling on to Tom.
(06:31):
And the other thing to remember is surface level mess.
It's fine, you can deal with that. It's really easy.
Chuck everything in a basket at the end of the day.
It's this layer. If you are persistent, consistent with that
regular work, the decluttering following Tom doing a boot camp
if you need to, it's going to make this top
layer much easier to deal with because if you are
regularly decluttering and cleaning your house, it's going to be
(06:54):
easier to tidy this surface level away. It's going to
seem less of an ordeal and you're going to feel
better because you know that you are in a routine
and sometimes you know you just need to vents, you
just need to have a chat with someone, and that
is why the Facebook group is there. If you're not
part of the Facebook group, log on search the Organized
Mom community and you will find us and like, just
(07:14):
make s a cup of tea, start chatting, I guarantee
someone will be online, and there are so many supportive
and encouraging voices on there, and sometimes that's all it takes,
isn't it just be Oh yeah, someone. I don't necessarily
someone to solve this problem for me. I can't solve
your housework problems for you. I can give you tools
to make it easier. I can't make the housework go away.
And sometimes you don't need someone to solve the problem.
(07:36):
You just need someone to listen. And that's why the
Facebook group is a really great place to hang out
when you're feeling a little bit Now. The Tom Rocks
sessions that are coming next week, we have got let's
just keep calm and do the sheets. We've got a
thirty minute session where we are just doing a bed
sheet change. That's a lovely one, nice and calm, nice
and chilled. We've got the Organized Christmas a week five
(07:58):
ambient session. And we have got let's cook dinner together,
a lovely keep me company session where I will be
in your ears whilst you're cooking, because sometimes, again when
you're at the end of the day and you could
be at the end of your tether and I now
I've got to cook spaghetti bionets just from a five
year old throat up the wall. It's just nice to
have a friend in your rear, but I understand I've
been there as well. I hope wherever you are in
(08:18):
the world you're happy, healthy and well. And until we
have a chat again, don't forget there is more to
life in healthwork. Bye.
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