Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
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Speaker 1 (00:29):
It's time now for the Patti Conklin Show, exclusively on
healthylife dot net Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Okay, folks, it is doctor parnessa ky Hall mv is.
Patty likes to say, I'm flying solo. Patty is away
having some fun and I am thrilled to have my
guest today Tina Lifford, Award winning actress, playwright, author, And
(01:10):
what we're going to spend most of our time today
talking about is her new book, The Inner Fitness Revolution
and her Inner Fitness Project. And to start off, you know,
I think if people google you, they'll see your picture
and they'll know exactly who you are because they've seen
(01:31):
you for forever and various shows. But what I'm curious
about is how you got from acting to being this
I think. I mean, I hate the word guru, but
your book is so impactful and just shows us how
(01:58):
to have a more peaceful and and successful life. Tell
us about how you got from point A to point B.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
It's so nice to be with you, and I love
that that's the question that you start with, you know,
the intro that says, the book shows us how to
get there, and then how did you get there? Tina
is just a perfect intro for me because in the
(02:36):
second grade, I knew I wanted to be an actress.
In the fifth grade, I signed up for the school
talent show. On the day of the talent show, I'm
sitting in gym class and they hand out the roster
for the the talent show that will happen at like
(03:00):
let's say two o'clock in the afternoon, and it's ten
o'clock in the morning. When I get the roster, when
I saw that my name was number one on the linepop,
something happened inside and I went up and I took
this big gulp of fear, and unknowingly I walked with
(03:22):
that fear all day long, and that gulf said, oh,
I don't know that I didn't want to go first.
I wanted to follow. I don't know if I can
go first. There was just all of this doubt and
insecurity around going first. So what happens at two o'clock
(03:44):
is I stepped on the stage. I get to center stage,
the lights of beaming down on me. The pianist starts
to play. I am there to sing Old Man River.
I get four bars out and I literally freeze. And
when I say I froze, I literally could not move everything.
(04:10):
The theater was already you know, dark, but everything went
black except I had these two bright lights beating down
on me. It was so I was so completely frozen
that my teacher eventually had to come to center stage,
pick me up and take me off to the wings.
(04:33):
And I don't remember that, you know, the next two
days being terribly embarrassing. I don't remember that at all.
But the impact of that moment showed up years later,
decades later, when I was forging my career as an actress,
(04:56):
because I knew I wanted to be an actress, and
I was in the second grade, and at some point
something triggered that moment on stage, and that created such
an unfolding of anxiety and panic around auditioning and yeah,
(05:23):
and acting is the only thing I wanted to do.
And the thing that was the most challenging was here
I was and had been, uh a person who walked
with a level of self ownership or what a lot
(05:43):
of people would call confidence. Right. I knew that I
wasn't a fraud Vanessa, Vanessa, I knew I was, But
this breakdown that happened, you know internally that I just
did not have any control over belied those other moments
(06:06):
when I was centered and knowing and you know, directional,
and so I needed to figure that out for myself
and right, and that is where this life fashion began.
(06:29):
It was me trying to figure out and me becoming
more human with every engagement. If you can understand what
I'm saying, I grew up, you know, in a family
where you didn't show vulnerability, you just got things done.
(06:55):
And I thought I was beyond some things and that
experience helped me to become human.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
I see, So you were solving your problem. Happened that
put you on this path of self discovery? Absolutely absolutely,
And I'll tell you that because I am an old soul,
I came here with a level of wisdom that was
(07:29):
beyond my years, and it was something that was said
all the time about me, right, the fact that I
was solving my problem, and I was very aware that
I was solving a problem that nobody talks about. That there,
(07:53):
you know, there was there. There were lots of.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Books like, oh gosh, there's there's a book that was
very famous. Maxwell is the author.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
It'll come to.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Me in a moment. But there were no real how
to books. So I would read spiritual literature. I would
read philosophy because I was interested in those things. But
I was always looking for a decoding and understanding of
(08:32):
myself that would not only introduce me to my humanness
and allow me to become really comfortable in my skin
as a human, right a source for other people. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
So, in the process of the self discovery and and
educating yourself, somewhere along the line it clicked in you
that t this would be helpful for pretty much everyone.
(09:16):
I mean, the books you've written, this, the the Inner
Fitness Project. I mean when did that? When did that
he get planted where you went? I mean, this is
great for me. How can I how can I apply
this and help other people? When did you figure that
(09:39):
piece out.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Well, you know that too, is a beautiful question, because
I would tell you that I am a a success
in the making that has been unfolding for thirty five
years I have, you know, I started, I started a yeah,
(10:12):
I don't know, a social group back in maybe two thousand,
uh maybe two thousand and five. And it started off
as totally fabulous women, and then it turned into waking
up fabulous and neither one of those iterations really spoke
(10:38):
to the humanity of it all, meaning it seemed to be,
you know, centered around women. And so I do a
lot of work with women. The un the decoding, the unraveling,
that was my experience, you know, the unraveling of what
(11:01):
I call the lies.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
My first book is The Little Books of.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Big Lies, the Unraveling of the Lies. And I find
a lie as any experience, any experience, any any thought
or or yeah, just any experience that leaves us feeling
less than, not good enough, or in some way disconnected
(11:29):
from ourselves, that that is a lie. So what that
teacher said, or what happened in your household, or that
first betrayal or breakup or whatever that left us feeling
not good enough, less than, and somewhat disconnected from our
(11:50):
sense of wholeness. That is a lie. And when we
don't know that it's a lie, we can't name it
for what it is, and so it lives inside of
us as the truth, and it begins to shape everything.
It shape how we see ourselves. It shapes our expectations,
(12:12):
It shapes everything.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
And how we respond.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Absolutely, it shapes how we respond.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
And so I wanted to.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Understand myself beyond the life. And I realized that everyone
was carrying these lies, and so I wanted to write
a book that would help people have the aha that
(12:44):
I had when I realized, oh my goodness, gracious, I
am carrying all of these lies like.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
They are the truth.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Right, And here here was a really big aha. I
love therapy, and I think that therapy is so important
and I have and i'd love to, you know, get
your feelings about this. And I have come to see
(13:15):
therapy and the work that I now do in our
fitness work to be you know, to have synergy. The
therapy I discovered was a sort of responsive or I'm
going to use the word reactive in a really neutral way.
(13:35):
It's a way of addressing what has happened what took place.
So therapy does a lot to help us connect the
past dots and thinking and misconceptions so that we can
(13:58):
create a palette that is more true and honest and aware.
In yes, right, interfitness is a inner fitness is like
you know, going to a physical therapist versus a surgeon.
(14:23):
The surgeon is going to take care of the immediate
needs and breakages, and the physical therapist is going to
help you use your body and strengthen your body in
ways that will prevent breakages. For you know, the most part,
at least make you strong so that you can be
(14:46):
flexible and resilient, and when breaks happen, it will give
you go tos to help mitigate the healing time. Yes,
the difference entire one.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Hundred percent of review. There be my experience, it does
identify things and you can, you know, see that there's
a victim triangle with you and your family. And but
what I've seen in practice is that people go to
therapy and it's like forever and they're they function better,
(15:25):
but they're not better. They're still they still have issues.
And what I find with your book is that it's
the introspection and the removal of the of that voice
in your not the removal, because the voice in your
head's always there, but understanding that that voice in your
(15:48):
head is not you, and you are much more than that.
And I think most of us go through life hearing
the voice in our head as if it is us.
It's me talking to myself. But the voice in my
head is a psychopath. It says all sorts of stuff.
(16:10):
And I've finally learned. I don't know if you ever
heard of the book with the Seven Day Mental Diet
by m Emmitt Fox, like three point fifty on Amazon,
and the challenge is to not dwell on any negative
thought about it in any way for seven days. Well
(16:31):
I've tried it multiple times. I've never gotten to seven days.
But the first time I did it, I was like,
who is this talking to me? I mean, I'm a happy,
you know, very positive person. With the voice in my
head was awful, and I realized that it's all the
(16:54):
stuff that got dropped into those lies that you were
talking about that occur from They just get dropped into
you and they live in your body. And if you
don't stop and get quiet, you don't recognize that that
there's a separate entity there this narrator, this judge and
(17:21):
jury that's just constantly yapping at you. And the difference
is therapy. Therapy doesn't address that voice in your head.
It's telling you how to deal with the outside, but
it's not cleaning out the inside. And I think this
is a way to come to peace and wholeness with yourself.
(17:47):
I mean, in your book, you're talking about the three selves,
and I don't think that therapy really gets that. Until
my experience, I've found that this kind of work has
been way more meaningful and way more effective than any
of the therapy that I've done. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
Yeah, it's so lovely to hear you as a therapist
say that, or you're an MD. Okay, so what's lovely
about that is I've heard that many times. In fact,
I know a woman who is a brilliant therapist, and
(18:35):
I became her coach, her life coach, because she just was,
you know, above where most of the therapists in her
field were. And she said to me, you know, one
of the most important things that I have gotten from
you that I wish I had known so that I
(18:59):
could say it to my clients. She says, when you
ask me, what is the lie that I am carrying.
It just changed my life. Most people go into therapy
and they process the lie.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
They spend tie.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Years, twenty years processing something that is a lie because
they didn't know it was.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
A lie, right, right, right right? I mean that's really
mean fun. It's so true because when you're a little kid,
you interpret a situation a certain way. So, for instance,
I always thought my mother liked my sister more than
(19:48):
she liked me, and she would call me when I
was in medical school, and they call your sister, she's
got a big test to, you know, a mock trial
or whatever whatever, And I'm thinking, well, who's calling me
when I'm having my big best you know. And then
there are other things that made me think that. And
I was talking to my coach, Greta account she's a
(20:11):
certified Science of Mind practitioner and studied with Louise Hay,
and she said, well, did your mother tell you that?
I was like, well, no, she goes, so you made
that up in your head. And I'm like, well, I
guess so she goes, well, I don't think that's serving
(20:32):
you anymore. So maybe we chased your story. You know,
your mother called you to help your sister because she
knew you were capable and she trusted you and she
needed your help. And I just my chin hit the table,
was like, Ah, I've been telling myself that live for forever,
(20:54):
you know. I mean, I was a therapy about the
stuff between my mother and my sister and were looking
at this vig and triangle. My my sister would ask
me for help and I'd say no, and then I
became the villain. And then my mother.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
Said I was a villain, you know, and I was like, oh,
she likes her more. Well, that was nonsense, you know,
That's just the story that I made up. That's right,
that you made And therapy didn't help me figure out
that that was a lie. It helped me figure out
how to operate within that relationship those relationships, but it
(21:31):
didn't teach me that there was a lie to begin with.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Anyway, We're going to need to take her break before that.
Twenty minutes went fast. Both, hold on, There's so much
more to happen here, and please stay with us because
this is great information. We'll be back shortly.
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Speaker 7 (24:13):
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Speaker 3 (24:28):
Okay, folks, we are back with Tina Lifford, and this
is just such great information. Before the break, we were
talking about how therapy. People go to therapy and they
process the lie that they hold themselves over and over
and what what the in a fitness project and then
(24:53):
a fitness revolution is saying, you know, it's a lie.
We need to get rid of the lie to get
to the truth. Yeah, and you know, they say the
truth will set you free. So but it's how many
people do we know have gone to therapy for forever?
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (25:14):
Yeah, and you know, and so the revolution, there's so
many components to the revolution. But one of the things
that I like to say is that pain is in
the premise and so we must change our premise and
see inner Fitness Project, and the inner Fitness Revolution actually
(25:39):
helps you to change the premise of who you are.
Instead of walking through life with this lie that has
broken you, we choose that to see ourselves as innately purposeful, worthy,
(26:01):
and hope and it changes the game because there are
a number of prompts, you know. And then at the
core of the Innerfitness Revolution is fourteen practices or our
fourteen practices that help you make self empowering choices in
(26:23):
the moment as you walk through your day. The fourteen
Practices and just almost every page of The Inner Fitness Revolution,
it gives you an internal to do in those moments
when you need to take that breath, in those moments
when you're confused, in those moments when you are feeling
(26:47):
triggered and out of you have internal to dos and
a number of them that you can choose from that
will help you regulate. But in this conversation, I'm using
the term regularly to mean it will help you settle
(27:07):
down enough for the truth of who you are to
surface and be more accessible, yes.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
More present, yes, yes. And your yourself not the reactive
as you you know, the the survival self, the one
that just reacts and that and people say, oh, well,
that's just the way I am. It's like, no, that's
not not it. That's not the real you. And you
(27:41):
know I do. I love the the that the book
really is a roadmap, a guide book, a support uh.
It gives you right sized, digestible information that you actually
take in and apply to your life every day.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
And it's it's.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
It's simple, not easy, it's simple. But I think that's
the beauty of it, and that a person can read
this book and come back to it over and over
again because it's you know, it's two steps forward, you know,
one step back. You know this is this is takes practice.
(28:33):
But this, to me is the kind of thing that
young women need. You know, if I have had this
in my twenties, I mean, my goodness, gracious, you know,
it really highlights all of the junk that we have
internalized and and have claimed, you know, not necessarily conscious,
(29:01):
and you can like put it aside and look at
and go ugh, I don't need to carry that anymore,
and you can reclaim your true self I mean talk
about I mean, authenticity is you know, big buzzword, but
I think this helps you uncover that authentic self so
(29:26):
that you can you can be confident because much of
the world is telling us, and I think particularly black
women in this country, that we're not enough. No matter
what I mean, you can have all the credentials in
the world. Hence you know, Kamala Harris, and people still
(29:47):
call you a dei hire. That's the message that that
that we get. And you know, it's hard to to
not have that affect you. And this book helps you
shed all of that junk that doesn't apply to you.
(30:11):
Like you said, it's the lies, these lies that you know,
we've been covered with, you know, from birth, and the
book is the road map to help you just shed
all of it and have peace and ease and grace
in your Life's let's talk about I took some notes here.
(30:35):
You have a lot of acronyms that I love, efforts
being one of them, crew, you know, and and these
are things I at least me. It's like, these are
little things that I can go to and go, Okay.
You know, you've got the seven Laws of Self, you know,
(30:57):
the there's fourteen something or others in this somewhere, you know.
I think, let's talk about in this this oh, this
segments almost over. In the next two segments, let's talk
about the key things that you have found two really
(31:18):
help the women that you've worked with, you know, those
those nuggets that are just universal that have the most bang.
You know, when I was reading books, just the concept
of three selves, I thought that was brilliant. And I
saw the movie that you made at the Generation W
(31:40):
and I sat there and watched it, and I thought, oh,
that is so accurate. And so let's start with the
three selves. And I wish everyone could see the movie
because the visual on that just is so impactful.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
Yeah, I'd love to start with the three cells. And
people listeners can see the movie by just going to
YouTube and typing in Tina Lifford dream and it's five
minutes and I think thirty four seconds, so Tina Lifford
(32:20):
l I F F O R D dream And Okay,
I think that I think that the three Cells is
a great place to begin, because.
Speaker 8 (32:34):
Oh well, let's yeah, let's hold that thought. Let's let's
because I want to really dig into the three cells
because I think that it is a really critically important
place to start and to understand and recognize that there's
(32:55):
who's driving the bus, and most of the time, it's
not our true thriving self, you know, it's the psychopath
voice in my head. That's who's driving the bus most
of the time. And I think this is a really
important concept and I want you to be able to
spend enough time on it, so folks, we'll be back
(33:18):
in a minute.
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Speaker 3 (35:52):
Okay, folks, Francy kay Hall and ye here with Peena
Lifford and hold onto your hat. We are going to
get back to the three selves, which is a really
important concept to understand. You can see the movie that
it ticks this. It's five minutes on YouTube. Put in
(36:16):
Tina Lifford Dream and you can see it. And Tina,
let's let's get back to this. Let's really dig into
this concept, the three selves. Yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
You know in insurance, the three Selves says that we
are not a monolithic self. When we look in the mirror,
we see our body. But the truth is what is
driving our lives. What we need with is the range
(36:50):
of emotions and thoughts and beliefs that live inside of us.
And if you look closely, you will see that our
beliefs fall into three basic categories. I name them the
surviving self, the thriving self, and the infinite self. And
(37:13):
the surviving self is that area of worried about fear.
That's what we default to, that uncertainty that creates a
sense of feeling at risk, and so we're always in
some level of protection, reactivity, justifying looking for what's wrong,
(37:38):
because just in terms of evolution, we started as a
single cell amba and now we are this seventy two
trillion cell adaptation. And the journey from that beginning as
a single cell ameba to where we are now just
(38:00):
the amount of survival instincts that had to be present
long before we became thinking human beings. So we're going
to default, We're going to look for danger. We're going
to have our eyes peeled for what could possibly be danger.
(38:26):
And that's why when we walk into a room, and
no matter how many smiles and applauds plods there might be,
when we see that one person that doesn't seem to
like us or doesn't smile, that person lives in our
psyche as a potential prout. And now what's going on
(38:47):
in that room, there's a part of us that is
aware of that person. That's how the surviving self operates
through us, and it is appropriate for the surviving self
to behave in that way.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
The thriving self is the part of us that is.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
Moving through life with curiosity, flexibility, openness, hope, a sense
of possibility. It is from those energies that life creates
in a forward and expanding kind of way. And anytime
we feel a sense of hope or possibility.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
We are elevated.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
You feel lighter, you feel better, you feel stronger because
a sense of possibility emboldns and strengthens. And then the
infinite itself is that place of intuition and wisdom. It
is the flow of life. It is you know, things
(39:57):
happening synergistically or coincidence, or however you want to frame it.
It is feeling like you belong in your skin and
there is a knowing. And we all have had moments
like that, Yes, that of fitnesses. That the whole person,
(40:20):
for us to operate whole and holy means that we
understand this range inside of us and we begin to work.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
With it consciously.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
That way hantuly of what's happening when we get triggered
and find ourselves in survival modes, and we are better
positioned to be able to choose to support ourselves using
our strengthened and present you know, higher ranges, the thriving
(41:01):
and the incident.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
Yes, I think most of us go into survival as
the norm. And but it's not conscious. That's the it's
the your true thriving self, isn't isn't thriving the bus
And I think so much of our reactivity to situations
(41:28):
that that don't even us. We get whipped up about,
you know, whatever it is, and that's just you know,
this habit. But when we get in touch with our
thriving self, this all this exterior stuff doesn't even phase you.
I mean, you don't even see it when you're when
(41:50):
you're in that, when you're in the flow, when you're
in that that intuitive state, like you know, we're we're,
everything falls into place just naturally with ease and joy
and grace and peace, you know, in that infinite self.
I mean, the thing is, most of the time we
(42:13):
are in survival self, and it's driving the bus, and
it's not making the best decisions for us. And many
people I see are making the same bad decisions over
and over again. Because it mustaple.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
One of the things that I love to ask people
when I am doing workshops or speaking, I ask people,
when you are running for your life, are you thinking
about being happy?
Speaker 3 (42:51):
You can't.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
You cannot think about being happy when you were running
for your life. And the thing with the surviving self
is there's a level of running that always is happening,
and so we have to see that evolution has prepared
(43:16):
us to run. But we Yeah, So here's a piece
of information that is really important. As much as you
know we all are aware of and love, or or
maybe not so love, our brains of consciousness was an adaptation.
(43:38):
So the reason that's an important thing to understand is
because the ability to respond, you know, like that nature
response that you might see in lizards or insects or whatever,
the reflex, that reflex, that reflex is deeply encoded in or.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
In our nervous system.
Speaker 4 (44:07):
And because it's deeply encoded and it was supporting life
before human life and human consciousness adapted the reactionary part
of us that is oldest, and for us to know
that means that we can now consciously work with that
(44:33):
part of ourselves as we evolved into using consciousness, and
consciousness is what allows us to thrive, because yes, consciousness
gives us that objectivity and our abiliita you okay, So
we're gonna.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
Have to stop there and come back to that. This
is an important concept, So we'll come back. We'll talk
about that a little more.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
Patty Conklin is busy, but she's never too busy for you.
And there are lots of ways to get a healing
session with her. You can even get one via zoom
or by phone. With twenty nine years in the business
of energy healing, Patty has a unique and remarkable ability
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can get help from Patty. Look a half hour healing
(45:38):
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Speaker 1 (46:02):
Want to get that man or woman out of your mind?
How about being in the right state of mind for
getting that job promotion or staying positive to help boost
your immune system. Want to break those old habits, then
it's time for an emotional cellular cleansing with Pattyconklin. You'll
get a private three hour session in person, by phone
or by zoom, with three months of follow up appointments
plus email support, but you'll have to do the work
(46:25):
and homework materials are included. Find out more or to
book your appointment, visit Pattyconklin dot com. That's Pattyconklin dot com.
Speaker 5 (46:33):
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Speaker 1 (46:49):
If you're wondering if Patty can help you heal, why
not book a free fifteen minute consultation either by phone
or by zoom. It's a great way to see which
of Patty's services is right for you. You'll discuss her
services and detail on how they can apply to your
specific situation. It's really a great place to start, and
you can sign up for your free consultation by phone
or zoom on Patty's website Pattyconklin dot com. That's pattyconkland
(47:12):
dot com. Get the help you need today. Sign up
for your free consultation at Pattyconklin dot com.
Speaker 7 (47:21):
Radio Your Way, Healthy Bike dot Net.
Speaker 3 (47:37):
Ooks case folks, we are back. I'm back with Tina Lifford.
We left talking about how we evolve to have consciousness
and have conscious thoughts instead of just a reflex or
reactiveness that survival of all the species as we evolved required.
(48:02):
We wouldn't have gotten here without those instincts, in those
reflexive actions. But we've evolved to be able to think.
You have consciousness, and so now we have the choice.
So if you would continue down that vane about consciousness
(48:24):
and now we have choice to respond rather than react. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (48:32):
So with consciousness, the neo cortex gets engaged, right, and
we have the ability to actually see ourselves. And I
mentioned that at the Inner Fitness Project, we have a
lot of prompts and one of our prompts is what
(48:54):
I call the observer's chair. And observer's chair is the
ability for us to, you know, sit above our lives.
I'd say, pretend like you're at the best movie of
all time and you're sitting in your movie seat, your
comfortable movie seat, watching the movie unfold on the screen,
(49:20):
and the movie on the screen is you, you in action,
you in your life in motion. But when you have
that objectivity where you can actually see yourself in motion,
you get to see more than you would see if
you were just in your reactionary of you know, mindset.
(49:44):
So from as you begin to see, oh, every time
this conversation comes up, I feel this tension in my
body and I become reactive. That is huge information that
you can now work with because you know that reactivity
(50:09):
is one of the characteristics and aspects of the surviving self.
So now you know every time that happens, the surviving
self has moved in and taken over the leadership of.
Speaker 3 (50:29):
You in those moments.
Speaker 4 (50:31):
And the more you can see that, and you said
you know earlier that the truth will set you free,
we can say, ah, okay, something has me feeling at risk,
and it always will boil down to that that something
has me in worried out and fear, and that the
(50:54):
bottom line of that means I feel at risk. My identity,
my body, my person, my very breath, my existence in
some way feels threatened or at risk. And now you
can go, oh, okay, so I see in the book,
(51:17):
in the Inner Fitness Revolution, one of the tools is
I see you. And now we get to say I
see you to patterns that we have unconsciously defaulted to.
Speaker 3 (51:32):
In the past.
Speaker 4 (51:34):
You know, it's default, Pagan, It's it's default.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
We just go there. There's no thought in it, it's
just this reaction.
Speaker 4 (51:44):
Yes, But the moment you see that, the moment you
see that, because you begin to sit in your observer's chair, Now.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
What do they say?
Speaker 4 (51:54):
Once you see it, you can't unsee it, and so
get to see, well, this reactive nature shows up in
all of these different settings and circumstances, and you get
to objectively from that observers chair, go, oh, okay, I
see that. This is me and how I responded and
(52:19):
the only way I knew to respond based upon the
family I grew up in, or based upon this experience
that happened over here. And here's the most important thing
about the surviving self. The surviving self, because it's running
for its life, it's not trying to change anything. In fact,
(52:41):
it doubles down on what it knows because it knows
how to survive when it already has survived. So our
bad habits. The only way we are going to be
free of them is if we move into our thriving self,
see them and begin to work with them consciously. Otherwise,
(53:04):
the surviving self is gonna say, don't change a thing,
because we were we were able to escape this danger
way back when by doing what you do right this moment.
Just do what you do right this moment. So we
get used to you know, the pain coming up, bubbling
to the surface, you know, that old reactive pain. And
(53:26):
then we know the two days from now it'll feel better,
and then next week we'll feel better home, And so
we don't change anything.
Speaker 3 (53:33):
And we're surviving. Now we have a choice. Yeah, once
you see it now, you can choose to do something different.
You can see that, jeez, there's no risk here. I
don't have to do that. And I sent Another thing
is that all those thoughts and feelings are flooding the
(53:54):
body with a constellation of neuro chemicals and hormones. Yes,
and you get used to them, you're almost you can
be addicted to them. And when you change them, when
you stop and you don't react and you don't go
that there again, you are you are creating a new
(54:18):
environment for yourself and you you detox from that addiction
to that those that constellation of chemicals, and and then
you get your body says, ah, I don't I don't
have to go through that, I can stay here in
(54:40):
this calm way. And and I think one thing people
don't know is that when you constantly bathe your body
and those fight or flight chemicals, it changes the genetic
expression in your body. It change changes the epigenetics down
(55:02):
to the DNA level, and so different things will be expressed.
And so if you're stressed and you're in fire or
flight all the time, the quarter's all high. You know,
you're you're adrenaline is high. You're more prone to high
blood pressure, you're more prone to gaining weight and diabetes
and all these things. And so this isn't just about
(55:24):
changing how you react to a situation. This is going
to change your health and wellness overall. And it's it's
it's it's that important. It is global.
Speaker 4 (55:43):
And what you what you have just shared about. You
know that negative chemical cocktail, that that is reshaping us.
The same is true when we create that positive local cocktail.
Speaker 3 (56:01):
Yes, then we thrive, We have good health and wellness
and well being, and we have more positive relationship with ourselves.
I can't believe that time has gone by. We have
like thirty seconds left, folks to go out go to
(56:23):
the Inner Fitness Project. Website. Buy the book The Inner
Fitness Revolution. It will change your life. Give it out
as gifts. This is maybe, at least from my perspective,
one of the most important books for people to work
through because the changes, the positive changes that you will
(56:45):
see in your life will amaze you. If you take
the time and do that introspection and do that work
and get out of this reactiveness and you have more energy,
more peace and ease and grace. Thank you so much
Tina for joining us. Please will you come back.
Speaker 4 (57:04):
And let's do this again sometime. I look forward to it.
Speaker 3 (57:07):
Fromessa.
Speaker 4 (57:08):
It's been really wonderful, excellent, excellent, and I would say
I just want to say to your listeners, say no
to the lies, just say no to the yes.
Speaker 3 (57:18):
Excellent.
Speaker 4 (57:20):
Thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (57:25):
You've been listening to the Patti Conklin Show on healthylife
dot net Radio. To listen to it again or share
it with a friend, visit healthylife dot Net podcast on
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Speaker 2 (00:08):
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Speaker 1 (00:29):
It's time now for the Patti Conklin Show, exclusively on
healthylife dot net Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Okay, folks, it is doctor parnessa ky Hall mv is.
Patty likes to say, I'm flying solo. Patty is away
having some fun and I am thrilled to have my
guest today Tina Lifford, Award winning actress, playwright, author, And
(01:10):
what we're going to spend most of our time today
talking about is her new book, The Inner Fitness Revolution
and her Inner Fitness Project. And to start off, you know,
I think if people google you, they'll see your picture
and they'll know exactly who you are because they've seen
(01:31):
you for forever and various shows. But what I'm curious
about is how you got from acting to being this
I think. I mean, I hate the word guru, but
your book is so impactful and just shows us how
(01:58):
to have a more peaceful and and successful life. Tell
us about how you got from point A to point B.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
It's so nice to be with you, and I love
that that's the question that you start with, you know,
the intro that says, the book shows us how to
get there, and then how did you get there? Tina
is just a perfect intro for me because in the
(02:36):
second grade, I knew I wanted to be an actress.
In the fifth grade, I signed up for the school
talent show. On the day of the talent show, I'm
sitting in gym class and they hand out the roster
for the the talent show that will happen at like
(03:00):
let's say two o'clock in the afternoon, and it's ten
o'clock in the morning. When I get the roster, when
I saw that my name was number one on the linepop,
something happened inside and I went up and I took
this big gulp of fear, and unknowingly I walked with
(03:22):
that fear all day long, and that gulf said, oh,
I don't know that I didn't want to go first.
I wanted to follow. I don't know if I can
go first. There was just all of this doubt and
insecurity around going first. So what happens at two o'clock
(03:44):
is I stepped on the stage. I get to center stage,
the lights of beaming down on me. The pianist starts
to play. I am there to sing Old Man River.
I get four bars out and I literally freeze. And
when I say I froze, I literally could not move everything.
(04:10):
The theater was already you know, dark, but everything went
black except I had these two bright lights beating down
on me. It was so I was so completely frozen
that my teacher eventually had to come to center stage,
pick me up and take me off to the wings.
(04:33):
And I don't remember that, you know, the next two
days being terribly embarrassing. I don't remember that at all.
But the impact of that moment showed up years later,
decades later, when I was forging my career as an actress,
(04:56):
because I knew I wanted to be an actress, and
I was in the second grade, and at some point
something triggered that moment on stage, and that created such
an unfolding of anxiety and panic around auditioning and yeah,
(05:23):
and acting is the only thing I wanted to do.
And the thing that was the most challenging was here
I was and had been, uh a person who walked
with a level of self ownership or what a lot
(05:43):
of people would call confidence. Right. I knew that I
wasn't a fraud Vanessa, Vanessa, I knew I was, But
this breakdown that happened, you know internally that I just
did not have any control over belied those other moments
(06:06):
when I was centered and knowing and you know, directional,
and so I needed to figure that out for myself
and right, and that is where this life fashion began.
(06:29):
It was me trying to figure out and me becoming
more human with every engagement. If you can understand what
I'm saying, I grew up, you know, in a family
where you didn't show vulnerability, you just got things done.
(06:55):
And I thought I was beyond some things and that
experience helped me to become human.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
I see, So you were solving your problem. Happened that
put you on this path of self discovery? Absolutely absolutely,
And I'll tell you that because I am an old soul,
I came here with a level of wisdom that was
(07:29):
beyond my years, and it was something that was said
all the time about me, right, the fact that I
was solving my problem, and I was very aware that
I was solving a problem that nobody talks about. That there,
(07:53):
you know, there was there. There were lots of.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
Books like, oh gosh, there's there's a book that was
very famous. Maxwell is the author.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
It'll come to.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Me in a moment. But there were no real how
to books. So I would read spiritual literature. I would
read philosophy because I was interested in those things. But
I was always looking for a decoding and understanding of
(08:32):
myself that would not only introduce me to my humanness
and allow me to become really comfortable in my skin
as a human, right a source for other people. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
So, in the process of the self discovery and and
educating yourself, somewhere along the line it clicked in you
that t this would be helpful for pretty much everyone.
(09:16):
I mean, the books you've written, this, the the Inner
Fitness Project. I mean when did that? When did that
he get planted where you went? I mean, this is
great for me. How can I how can I apply
this and help other people? When did you figure that
(09:39):
piece out.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Well, you know that too, is a beautiful question, because
I would tell you that I am a a success
in the making that has been unfolding for thirty five
years I have, you know, I started, I started a yeah,
(10:12):
I don't know, a social group back in maybe two thousand,
uh maybe two thousand and five. And it started off
as totally fabulous women, and then it turned into waking
up fabulous and neither one of those iterations really spoke
(10:38):
to the humanity of it all, meaning it seemed to be,
you know, centered around women. And so I do a
lot of work with women. The un the decoding, the unraveling,
that was my experience, you know, the unraveling of what
(11:01):
I call the lies.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
My first book is The Little Books of.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Big Lies, the Unraveling of the Lies. And I find
a lie as any experience, any experience, any any thought
or or yeah, just any experience that leaves us feeling
less than, not good enough, or in some way disconnected
(11:29):
from ourselves, that that is a lie. So what that
teacher said, or what happened in your household, or that
first betrayal or breakup or whatever that left us feeling
not good enough, less than, and somewhat disconnected from our
(11:50):
sense of wholeness. That is a lie. And when we
don't know that it's a lie, we can't name it
for what it is, and so it lives inside of
us as the truth, and it begins to shape everything.
It shape how we see ourselves. It shapes our expectations,
(12:12):
It shapes everything.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
And how we respond.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Absolutely, it shapes how we respond.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
And so I wanted to.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Understand myself beyond the life. And I realized that everyone
was carrying these lies, and so I wanted to write
a book that would help people have the aha that
(12:44):
I had when I realized, oh my goodness, gracious, I
am carrying all of these lies like.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
They are the truth.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Right, And here here was a really big aha. I
love therapy, and I think that therapy is so important
and I have and i'd love to, you know, get
your feelings about this. And I have come to see
(13:15):
therapy and the work that I now do in our
fitness work to be you know, to have synergy. The
therapy I discovered was a sort of responsive or I'm
going to use the word reactive in a really neutral way.
(13:35):
It's a way of addressing what has happened what took place.
So therapy does a lot to help us connect the
past dots and thinking and misconceptions so that we can
(13:58):
create a palette that is more true and honest and aware.
In yes, right, interfitness is a inner fitness is like
you know, going to a physical therapist versus a surgeon.
(14:23):
The surgeon is going to take care of the immediate
needs and breakages, and the physical therapist is going to
help you use your body and strengthen your body in
ways that will prevent breakages. For you know, the most part,
at least make you strong so that you can be
(14:46):
flexible and resilient, and when breaks happen, it will give
you go tos to help mitigate the healing time. Yes,
the difference entire one.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Hundred percent of review. There be my experience, it does
identify things and you can, you know, see that there's
a victim triangle with you and your family. And but
what I've seen in practice is that people go to
therapy and it's like forever and they're they function better,
(15:25):
but they're not better. They're still they still have issues.
And what I find with your book is that it's
the introspection and the removal of the of that voice
in your not the removal, because the voice in your
head's always there, but understanding that that voice in your
(15:48):
head is not you, and you are much more than that.
And I think most of us go through life hearing
the voice in our head as if it is us.
It's me talking to myself. But the voice in my
head is a psychopath. It says all sorts of stuff.
(16:10):
And I've finally learned. I don't know if you ever
heard of the book with the Seven Day Mental Diet
by m Emmitt Fox, like three point fifty on Amazon,
and the challenge is to not dwell on any negative
thought about it in any way for seven days. Well
(16:31):
I've tried it multiple times. I've never gotten to seven days.
But the first time I did it, I was like,
who is this talking to me? I mean, I'm a happy,
you know, very positive person. With the voice in my
head was awful, and I realized that it's all the
(16:54):
stuff that got dropped into those lies that you were
talking about that occur from They just get dropped into
you and they live in your body. And if you
don't stop and get quiet, you don't recognize that that
there's a separate entity there this narrator, this judge and
(17:21):
jury that's just constantly yapping at you. And the difference
is therapy. Therapy doesn't address that voice in your head.
It's telling you how to deal with the outside, but
it's not cleaning out the inside. And I think this
is a way to come to peace and wholeness with yourself.
(17:47):
I mean, in your book, you're talking about the three selves,
and I don't think that therapy really gets that. Until
my experience, I've found that this kind of work has
been way more meaningful and way more effective than any
of the therapy that I've done. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
Yeah, it's so lovely to hear you as a therapist
say that, or you're an MD. Okay, so what's lovely
about that is I've heard that many times. In fact,
I know a woman who is a brilliant therapist, and
(18:35):
I became her coach, her life coach, because she just was,
you know, above where most of the therapists in her
field were. And she said to me, you know, one
of the most important things that I have gotten from
you that I wish I had known so that I
(18:59):
could say it to my clients. She says, when you
ask me, what is the lie that I am carrying.
It just changed my life. Most people go into therapy
and they process the lie.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
They spend tie.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Years, twenty years processing something that is a lie because
they didn't know it was.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
A lie, right, right, right right? I mean that's really
mean fun. It's so true because when you're a little kid,
you interpret a situation a certain way. So, for instance,
I always thought my mother liked my sister more than
(19:48):
she liked me, and she would call me when I
was in medical school, and they call your sister, she's
got a big test to, you know, a mock trial
or whatever whatever, And I'm thinking, well, who's calling me
when I'm having my big best you know. And then
there are other things that made me think that. And
I was talking to my coach, Greta account she's a
(20:11):
certified Science of Mind practitioner and studied with Louise Hay,
and she said, well, did your mother tell you that?
I was like, well, no, she goes, so you made
that up in your head. And I'm like, well, I
guess so she goes, well, I don't think that's serving
(20:32):
you anymore. So maybe we chased your story. You know,
your mother called you to help your sister because she
knew you were capable and she trusted you and she
needed your help. And I just my chin hit the table,
was like, Ah, I've been telling myself that live for forever,
(20:54):
you know. I mean, I was a therapy about the
stuff between my mother and my sister and were looking
at this vig and triangle. My my sister would ask
me for help and I'd say no, and then I
became the villain. And then my mother.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
Said I was a villain, you know, and I was like, oh,
she likes her more. Well, that was nonsense, you know,
That's just the story that I made up. That's right,
that you made And therapy didn't help me figure out
that that was a lie. It helped me figure out
how to operate within that relationship those relationships, but it
(21:31):
didn't teach me that there was a lie to begin with.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Anyway, We're going to need to take her break before that.
Twenty minutes went fast. Both, hold on, There's so much
more to happen here, and please stay with us because
this is great information. We'll be back shortly.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Want to get that man or woman out of your mind?
How about being in the right state of mind for
getting that job promotion or staying positive to help boost
your immune system. Want to break those old habits, then
it's time for an emotional cellular cleansing with Patty Coonklin.
You'll get a private three hour session in person, by
phone or by zoom, with three months of follow up
appointments plus email support. But you'll have to do the
(22:31):
work and homework materials are included. Find out more or
to book your appointment, visit Pattyconklin dot com. That's Pattyconklin
dot com.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
Audiobooks gives you instant access to over fifty thousand of
the best sellers and huttest book titles and romance, mystery
fiction and many other genres. Just visit healthylife dot nets
advertiser page and click on audiobooks to get started.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
If you're wondering if Patty can help you heal, why
not book a free fifteen minute consultation by phone or
by zoom. It's a great way to see which of
Patty's services is right for you. You'll discuss her services
and detail on how they can apply to your specific situation.
It's really a great place to start, and you can
sign up for your free consultation by phone or zoom
on Patty's website Pattyconklin dot com. That's pattyconkland dot com.
(23:18):
Get the help you need today. Sign up for your
free consultation at Pattyconkland dot com.
Speaker 6 (23:24):
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(24:02):
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Speaker 7 (24:13):
Where positive people and radio unite healthylife dot net.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Okay, folks, we are back with Tina Lifford, and this
is just such great information. Before the break, we were
talking about how therapy. People go to therapy and they
process the lie that they hold themselves over and over
and what what the in a fitness project and then
(24:53):
a fitness revolution is saying, you know, it's a lie.
We need to get rid of the lie to get
to the truth. Yeah, and you know, they say the
truth will set you free. So but it's how many
people do we know have gone to therapy for forever?
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (25:14):
Yeah, and you know, and so the revolution, there's so
many components to the revolution. But one of the things
that I like to say is that pain is in
the premise and so we must change our premise and
see inner Fitness Project, and the inner Fitness Revolution actually
(25:39):
helps you to change the premise of who you are.
Instead of walking through life with this lie that has
broken you, we choose that to see ourselves as innately purposeful, worthy,
(26:01):
and hope and it changes the game because there are
a number of prompts, you know. And then at the
core of the Innerfitness Revolution is fourteen practices or our
fourteen practices that help you make self empowering choices in
(26:23):
the moment as you walk through your day. The fourteen
Practices and just almost every page of The Inner Fitness Revolution,
it gives you an internal to do in those moments
when you need to take that breath, in those moments
when you're confused, in those moments when you are feeling
(26:47):
triggered and out of you have internal to dos and
a number of them that you can choose from that
will help you regulate. But in this conversation, I'm using
the term regularly to mean it will help you settle
(27:07):
down enough for the truth of who you are to
surface and be more accessible, yes.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
More present, yes, yes. And your yourself not the reactive
as you you know, the the survival self, the one
that just reacts and that and people say, oh, well,
that's just the way I am. It's like, no, that's
not not it. That's not the real you. And you
(27:41):
know I do. I love the the that the book
really is a roadmap, a guide book, a support uh.
It gives you right sized, digestible information that you actually
take in and apply to your life every day.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
And it's it's.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
It's simple, not easy, it's simple. But I think that's
the beauty of it, and that a person can read
this book and come back to it over and over
again because it's you know, it's two steps forward, you know,
one step back. You know this is this is takes practice.
(28:33):
But this, to me is the kind of thing that
young women need. You know, if I have had this
in my twenties, I mean, my goodness, gracious, you know,
it really highlights all of the junk that we have
internalized and and have claimed, you know, not necessarily conscious,
(29:01):
and you can like put it aside and look at
and go ugh, I don't need to carry that anymore,
and you can reclaim your true self I mean talk
about I mean, authenticity is you know, big buzzword, but
I think this helps you uncover that authentic self so
(29:26):
that you can you can be confident because much of
the world is telling us, and I think particularly black
women in this country, that we're not enough. No matter
what I mean, you can have all the credentials in
the world. Hence you know, Kamala Harris, and people still
(29:47):
call you a dei hire. That's the message that that
that we get. And you know, it's hard to to
not have that affect you. And this book helps you
shed all of that junk that doesn't apply to you.
(30:11):
Like you said, it's the lies, these lies that you know,
we've been covered with, you know, from birth, and the
book is the road map to help you just shed
all of it and have peace and ease and grace
in your Life's let's talk about I took some notes here.
(30:35):
You have a lot of acronyms that I love, efforts
being one of them, crew, you know, and and these
are things I at least me. It's like, these are
little things that I can go to and go, Okay.
You know, you've got the seven Laws of Self, you know,
(30:57):
the there's fourteen something or others in this somewhere, you know.
I think, let's talk about in this this oh, this
segments almost over. In the next two segments, let's talk
about the key things that you have found two really
(31:18):
help the women that you've worked with, you know, those
those nuggets that are just universal that have the most bang.
You know, when I was reading books, just the concept
of three selves, I thought that was brilliant. And I
saw the movie that you made at the Generation W
(31:40):
and I sat there and watched it, and I thought, oh,
that is so accurate. And so let's start with the
three selves. And I wish everyone could see the movie
because the visual on that just is so impactful.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
Yeah, I'd love to start with the three cells. And
people listeners can see the movie by just going to
YouTube and typing in Tina Lifford dream and it's five
minutes and I think thirty four seconds, so Tina Lifford
(32:20):
l I F F O R D dream And Okay,
I think that I think that the three Cells is
a great place to begin, because.
Speaker 8 (32:34):
Oh well, let's yeah, let's hold that thought. Let's let's
because I want to really dig into the three cells
because I think that it is a really critically important
place to start and to understand and recognize that there's
(32:55):
who's driving the bus, and most of the time, it's
not our true thriving self, you know, it's the psychopath
voice in my head. That's who's driving the bus most
of the time. And I think this is a really
important concept and I want you to be able to
spend enough time on it, so folks, we'll be back
(33:18):
in a minute.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Don't go away. This this is the meat.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
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(33:59):
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Speaker 9 (34:05):
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Speaker 3 (35:52):
Okay, folks, Francy kay Hall and ye here with Peena
Lifford and hold onto your hat. We are going to
get back to the three selves, which is a really
important concept to understand. You can see the movie that
it ticks this. It's five minutes on YouTube. Put in
(36:16):
Tina Lifford Dream and you can see it. And Tina,
let's let's get back to this. Let's really dig into
this concept, the three selves. Yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
You know in insurance, the three Selves says that we
are not a monolithic self. When we look in the mirror,
we see our body. But the truth is what is
driving our lives. What we need with is the range
(36:50):
of emotions and thoughts and beliefs that live inside of us.
And if you look closely, you will see that our
beliefs fall into three basic categories. I name them the
surviving self, the thriving self, and the infinite self. And
(37:13):
the surviving self is that area of worried about fear.
That's what we default to, that uncertainty that creates a
sense of feeling at risk, and so we're always in
some level of protection, reactivity, justifying looking for what's wrong,
(37:38):
because just in terms of evolution, we started as a
single cell amba and now we are this seventy two
trillion cell adaptation. And the journey from that beginning as
a single cell ameba to where we are now just
(38:00):
the amount of survival instincts that had to be present
long before we became thinking human beings. So we're going
to default, We're going to look for danger. We're going
to have our eyes peeled for what could possibly be danger.
(38:26):
And that's why when we walk into a room, and
no matter how many smiles and applauds plods there might be,
when we see that one person that doesn't seem to
like us or doesn't smile, that person lives in our
psyche as a potential prout. And now what's going on
(38:47):
in that room, there's a part of us that is
aware of that person. That's how the surviving self operates
through us, and it is appropriate for the surviving self
to behave in that way.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
The thriving self is the part of us that is.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
Moving through life with curiosity, flexibility, openness, hope, a sense
of possibility. It is from those energies that life creates
in a forward and expanding kind of way. And anytime
we feel a sense of hope or possibility.
Speaker 3 (39:32):
We are elevated.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
You feel lighter, you feel better, you feel stronger because
a sense of possibility emboldns and strengthens. And then the
infinite itself is that place of intuition and wisdom. It
is the flow of life. It is you know, things
(39:57):
happening synergistically or coincidence, or however you want to frame it.
It is feeling like you belong in your skin and
there is a knowing. And we all have had moments
like that, Yes, that of fitnesses. That the whole person,
(40:20):
for us to operate whole and holy means that we
understand this range inside of us and we begin to work.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
With it consciously.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
That way hantuly of what's happening when we get triggered
and find ourselves in survival modes, and we are better
positioned to be able to choose to support ourselves using
our strengthened and present you know, higher ranges, the thriving
(41:01):
and the incident.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
Yes, I think most of us go into survival as
the norm. And but it's not conscious. That's the it's
the your true thriving self, isn't isn't thriving the bus
And I think so much of our reactivity to situations
(41:28):
that that don't even us. We get whipped up about,
you know, whatever it is, and that's just you know,
this habit. But when we get in touch with our
thriving self, this all this exterior stuff doesn't even phase you.
I mean, you don't even see it when you're when
(41:50):
you're in that, when you're in the flow, when you're
in that that intuitive state, like you know, we're we're,
everything falls into place just naturally with ease and joy
and grace and peace, you know, in that infinite self.
I mean, the thing is, most of the time we
(42:13):
are in survival self, and it's driving the bus, and
it's not making the best decisions for us. And many
people I see are making the same bad decisions over
and over again. Because it mustaple.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
One of the things that I love to ask people
when I am doing workshops or speaking, I ask people,
when you are running for your life, are you thinking
about being happy?
Speaker 3 (42:51):
You can't.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
You cannot think about being happy when you were running
for your life. And the thing with the surviving self
is there's a level of running that always is happening,
and so we have to see that evolution has prepared
(43:16):
us to run. But we Yeah, So here's a piece
of information that is really important. As much as you
know we all are aware of and love, or or
maybe not so love, our brains of consciousness was an adaptation.
(43:38):
So the reason that's an important thing to understand is
because the ability to respond, you know, like that nature
response that you might see in lizards or insects or whatever,
the reflex, that reflex, that reflex is deeply encoded in or.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
In our nervous system.
Speaker 4 (44:07):
And because it's deeply encoded and it was supporting life
before human life and human consciousness adapted the reactionary part
of us that is oldest, and for us to know
that means that we can now consciously work with that
(44:33):
part of ourselves as we evolved into using consciousness, and
consciousness is what allows us to thrive, because yes, consciousness
gives us that objectivity and our abiliita you okay, So
we're gonna.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
Have to stop there and come back to that. This
is an important concept, So we'll come back. We'll talk
about that a little more.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
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Speaker 7 (47:21):
Radio Your Way, Healthy Bike dot Net.
Speaker 3 (47:37):
Ooks case folks, we are back. I'm back with Tina Lifford.
We left talking about how we evolve to have consciousness
and have conscious thoughts instead of just a reflex or
reactiveness that survival of all the species as we evolved required.
(48:02):
We wouldn't have gotten here without those instincts, in those
reflexive actions. But we've evolved to be able to think.
You have consciousness, and so now we have the choice.
So if you would continue down that vane about consciousness
(48:24):
and now we have choice to respond rather than react. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (48:32):
So with consciousness, the neo cortex gets engaged, right, and
we have the ability to actually see ourselves. And I
mentioned that at the Inner Fitness Project, we have a
lot of prompts and one of our prompts is what
(48:54):
I call the observer's chair. And observer's chair is the
ability for us to, you know, sit above our lives.
I'd say, pretend like you're at the best movie of
all time and you're sitting in your movie seat, your
comfortable movie seat, watching the movie unfold on the screen,
(49:20):
and the movie on the screen is you, you in action,
you in your life in motion. But when you have
that objectivity where you can actually see yourself in motion,
you get to see more than you would see if
you were just in your reactionary of you know, mindset.
(49:44):
So from as you begin to see, oh, every time
this conversation comes up, I feel this tension in my
body and I become reactive. That is huge information that
you can now work with because you know that reactivity
(50:09):
is one of the characteristics and aspects of the surviving self.
So now you know every time that happens, the surviving
self has moved in and taken over the leadership of.
Speaker 3 (50:29):
You in those moments.
Speaker 4 (50:31):
And the more you can see that, and you said
you know earlier that the truth will set you free,
we can say, ah, okay, something has me feeling at risk,
and it always will boil down to that that something
has me in worried out and fear, and that the
(50:54):
bottom line of that means I feel at risk. My identity,
my body, my person, my very breath, my existence in
some way feels threatened or at risk. And now you
can go, oh, okay, so I see in the book,
(51:17):
in the Inner Fitness Revolution, one of the tools is
I see you. And now we get to say I
see you to patterns that we have unconsciously defaulted to.
Speaker 3 (51:32):
In the past.
Speaker 4 (51:34):
You know, it's default, Pagan, It's it's default.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
We just go there. There's no thought in it, it's
just this reaction.
Speaker 4 (51:44):
Yes, But the moment you see that, the moment you
see that, because you begin to sit in your observer's chair, Now.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
What do they say?
Speaker 4 (51:54):
Once you see it, you can't unsee it, and so
get to see, well, this reactive nature shows up in
all of these different settings and circumstances, and you get
to objectively from that observers chair, go, oh, okay, I
see that. This is me and how I responded and
(52:19):
the only way I knew to respond based upon the
family I grew up in, or based upon this experience
that happened over here. And here's the most important thing
about the surviving self. The surviving self, because it's running
for its life, it's not trying to change anything. In fact,
(52:41):
it doubles down on what it knows because it knows
how to survive when it already has survived. So our
bad habits. The only way we are going to be
free of them is if we move into our thriving self,
see them and begin to work with them consciously. Otherwise,
(53:04):
the surviving self is gonna say, don't change a thing,
because we were we were able to escape this danger
way back when by doing what you do right this moment.
Just do what you do right this moment. So we
get used to you know, the pain coming up, bubbling
to the surface, you know, that old reactive pain. And
(53:26):
then we know the two days from now it'll feel better,
and then next week we'll feel better home, And so
we don't change anything.
Speaker 3 (53:33):
And we're surviving. Now we have a choice. Yeah, once
you see it now, you can choose to do something different.
You can see that, jeez, there's no risk here. I
don't have to do that. And I sent Another thing
is that all those thoughts and feelings are flooding the
(53:54):
body with a constellation of neuro chemicals and hormones. Yes,
and you get used to them, you're almost you can
be addicted to them. And when you change them, when
you stop and you don't react and you don't go
that there again, you are you are creating a new
(54:18):
environment for yourself and you you detox from that addiction
to that those that constellation of chemicals, and and then
you get your body says, ah, I don't I don't
have to go through that, I can stay here in
(54:40):
this calm way. And and I think one thing people
don't know is that when you constantly bathe your body
and those fight or flight chemicals, it changes the genetic
expression in your body. It change changes the epigenetics down
(55:02):
to the DNA level, and so different things will be expressed.
And so if you're stressed and you're in fire or
flight all the time, the quarter's all high. You know,
you're you're adrenaline is high. You're more prone to high
blood pressure, you're more prone to gaining weight and diabetes
and all these things. And so this isn't just about
(55:24):
changing how you react to a situation. This is going
to change your health and wellness overall. And it's it's
it's it's that important. It is global.
Speaker 4 (55:43):
And what you what you have just shared about. You
know that negative chemical cocktail, that that is reshaping us.
The same is true when we create that positive local cocktail.
Speaker 3 (56:01):
Yes, then we thrive, We have good health and wellness
and well being, and we have more positive relationship with ourselves.
I can't believe that time has gone by. We have
like thirty seconds left, folks to go out go to
(56:23):
the Inner Fitness Project. Website. Buy the book The Inner
Fitness Revolution. It will change your life. Give it out
as gifts. This is maybe, at least from my perspective,
one of the most important books for people to work
through because the changes, the positive changes that you will
(56:45):
see in your life will amaze you. If you take
the time and do that introspection and do that work
and get out of this reactiveness and you have more energy,
more peace and ease and grace. Thank you so much
Tina for joining us. Please will you come back.
Speaker 4 (57:04):
And let's do this again sometime. I look forward to it.
Speaker 3 (57:07):
Fromessa.
Speaker 4 (57:08):
It's been really wonderful, excellent, excellent, and I would say
I just want to say to your listeners, say no
to the lies, just say no to the yes.
Speaker 3 (57:18):
Excellent.
Speaker 4 (57:20):
Thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (57:25):
You've been listening to the Patti Conklin Show on healthylife
dot net Radio. To listen to it again or share
it with a friend, visit healthylife dot Net podcast on
demand link on our homepage and click on Patty Conklin
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