Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:08):
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Speaker 1 (00:29):
It's time now for the Patti Conklin Show, exclusively on
healthylife dot Net Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Hello, everyone is Patti Conklin and my co host Vanessa
Hall Andy Promle. Please here on our show making sense
and we attempt to do it, although you know Vanessa
would would clearly tell.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
You that most of the time it don't make sense.
Fun if you listen to my reach, you said it.
I didn't say it. No, no, no, you're just with
I would never say that. So so we've had some.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Exciting guests on. We've got more exciting guests coming up.
I had Lisa Coffee on last program, and just an awesome,
awesome program with Lisa talking about the music, the children's
songs she's written and and some from the facta Vita.
(01:37):
I know I'm not pronouncing that rate anyways, I for you,
I just can't.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Say that it.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
An awesome show, and I know Foranessa has some awesome guests.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Yes, yeah, next week we're gonna I was interviewing my coach,
the legendary Harbor Len's basketball coach, Kathy Delaney, and we
had technical difficulties. There were phone problems, so we only
got half the show. So she's next week. And I'm
really excited about the seventeenth author, actor and interfitness guru
(02:19):
Tina Lifford. It's going to be my guest on the seventeenth.
That's going to be so exciting. Don't miss either of them.
They have so much wisdom between them. And then the
week after that is my shaman class teachers Harey and
Nina Christ from the Jaguar Path School of Modern Shamanism.
(02:43):
I'm two thirds of the way through my class with
them and they join me on the twenty fourth, and
I'm so excited about them. It is this class has
just been amazing and you just don't want to miss
any of these. They're going to be so much fun
and so much wisdom, right right, I mean just amazing
(03:05):
line up.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Amazing lineup, and and I really I love the fact
that you get such exciting guests on I will be traveling,
I will be keynoting in Arkansas next weekend and and
so it owes our research institute and then the drag
racing the following weekend. So I mean, fun cars and lectures.
(03:31):
That's that's my things.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
And I know it is you love cars. I'll be happy.
I'll be very happy.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
So so yeah, we've got lots coming up.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
And like I said, I love your lineup.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
You and I had talked about what's the talking follend,
what's to talk about today? And honestly, you know, I
keep waiting for the chaos in the world to slow down,
and you know, feel like it is. And so it's
kind of like, how do we stay calm in a
(04:07):
chaotic world? How do we get caught up in what's
taking place? You know, because we all have opinions, right,
and so we want to kind of go with a group.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
That fits our opinions.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
But the reality is we stay very, very hyper focused.
Then if we're just talking to people who believe the
same way we do, right, And I think that that
kind of accentuates the craziness, chaotic feeling that then surrounds
(04:44):
you because you're not listening, you're not allowing others to,
you know, give their point of view. And and we
make it so much, we talk about this from essa,
we make it so much about what's right and what's
wrong right, and when we really break it down, there's
(05:05):
not a writer wrong, there's an opinion. And so give
us some advice, sc Well, what do we do, you know, just.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
To comment on that, take a little further. You know,
I think that currently in the US, at least, there
seems to be so much anger and an inability to
have a civil conversation. I mean, we see our public
leaders calling people losers and other you know, derogatory things,
(05:40):
and you know that's unacceptable. We would not allow our
children to do that and behave that way, and right
what it does that just polarizes everyone. I mean, if
you call me a you know, blankety blank, you know
what kind of response do you expect? Right? And so
(06:01):
we need to put down our arms, you know, we
need to take a breath and let's discuss.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
The the topics and just discuss them and then we
can agree to disagree.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
This right. You know, one of the things that I
think that it feels like people are forgetting is that,
you know, one of those things, those core things that
separates America, the United States of America from other countries
is our freedom to have our own opinion and to
be able to say it. You know, I've said to
(06:41):
many many people that I defend I'm a black person,
So just in case anybody didn't know, I will descend
and the right for the ku Klub's Klan to march
down the street because it's their right as an American citizen.
Right as long as there's no threatening of other people,
(07:03):
say what believe what you think. But here's the butt.
You have to allow that for every other person and
their voice and their opinion, right, And that's real freedom.
But we need to have just you know, just polite
(07:26):
discourse without the name calling and the accusations and the judgment.
And I'm the saying I don't fall into it. Sometimes.
I've made a conscious effort to you know, live and
let live, you know, allow people to have their opinion
without judging them. Right, And I think that what you
(07:48):
said earlier about people only talking to people who have
their opinion, you get in an echo chamber. And I
think that's dangerous because you don't even hear a different
opinion that that maybe is a different way of thinking
about it, that might lead you to thinking about things
in a different way. Also, I think when you only
(08:09):
associate with people who think like you, it is way
easier to get into the trap of hauling people other.
They're different, they're other, they're this, they're less than whatever.
And so we all need to take a breast, take
a step back, you know, and and just take some
(08:30):
of this excess energy and anger out of it because
it's not constructive. You know, we are not making progress.
So you know, just to start there, people can start there.
That's like a huge step. I think that one of
(08:53):
the other things. I mean, I have friends that are
like wigging out and I know, no some trans people
who are fearful, right, And I get it, And and
I think that people need to keep that in mind.
You know, there's no excuse for uh, physical attacks or
(09:18):
virtual attacks. If you don't like someone's life or lifestyle,
walk away, right, don't associate. Yeah, you know you don't
like it, can't respect it exactly, and you know what,
it's your right to not agree with that anyone's lifestyle,
(09:39):
but it is not your right to uh threaten them,
harass them, uh physically assault them. You know. So we've
got it. We really have to get past all that.
But I think you know that I want to I
want to cut in here for a minute because it
seems like, I mean, we're both children of well I'm
(10:01):
the children of the fifties or children of the sixties.
But it feels like this has I mean, it's increased
in volume obviously over the last few years. But we've
always dealt with this.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
I mean, this has always been a hang up in
US society. Now, I've traveled a lot of the world,
and I know you've traveled in the amount as well.
I don't see the designations of race and status and
belief like we have delegated in this country. I mean,
(10:39):
you know, it's it's it's it's I'm gonna say it's
a US problem.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
I mean, I realize there's.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Problems in other areas, but we seem to like take
the cake for it, but we've been able to get
beyond it.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
And it get worse. Yeah, yeah, you know, And it's
and it's interesting because I what I really think is
that while we had the civil rights movement and we
made progress in all of that, that there's this there
has been an undercurrent of racism and sexism and otherism
(11:22):
that has been sort of undercover, but now it's just
just in full effect. It's like everywhere, it's like it's okay.
It's like people have gotten an okay to uh otherise
people and stigmatize them and judge them and all of this. Now. Granted,
(11:43):
we know there are other countries that have repressive regimes
and you know, women that are you know, relegated to
you know, subservient everything and that. But you know, we
have these ideals of America, but we're not living up
to them, and we haven't, right, we haven't fully lived
up to them. And so you know, one of the
questions I have is that do we believe in this
(12:05):
American dream or not? Because if you do, then you
defend a person's right to be who they are, those liberties,
black liberty, and pursuit of happiness, right, And and I
question whether that's really what we as a nation really
(12:26):
truly embrace. Because it's it's easy to embrace when everybody's
the same. It gets harder when people are different, you know,
than so it's just a it's food for thought for folks,
you know what I mean. I think that so you know,
I'm playing Devil's advocate here for a minute, and I
(12:46):
know I'm playing advocate, so I fully admit it. Okay,
So the thing is, Okay, the current current political climate
whatever is giving people license to speak more openly about
how they feel. And and but the challenge is, is
(13:11):
they still felt the same way forty years ago, they
just didn't speak it, and now they're speaking it. And
by contrast, the trans need or you know, individuals who
have different lifestyles had been in the shadows and have
slowly opened up and come out and felt that comfort.
(13:35):
And so so in some ways we're doing this flip flop.
It's like, Okay, people are being more vocal.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
I think the challenge is is and they're being more violent,
I think. But I think that what is curious to
me is one group of people are feeling had been
feeling more safe to be out, and the people who
also suppressed.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
What they felt are also cry out. So I don't
feel like it's a new dynamic. I think both groups
are are coming out more and so we're creating more
of a class. Yes, But I think the differentiator to
me is, yes, if you had this belief and you
(14:24):
were undercovered before and now you're more vocal about it,
I've got no problem with people being vocal about their opinion.
The problem comes when you want to dictate other people's lives.
You want to threaten their physical safety, their livelihoods, their housing,
(14:44):
and those kinds of things. That's the extreme part to me.
It's that the opinion and your belief that you know,
trans people and gay people are whatever. It's fine to
me think what you like. I don't care, right, but
I can't cross that line to harm people. And that's
(15:06):
what it feels like. Has become more acceptable to attack people,
whether that's verbally or physically, or to you know, threaten
their jobs or their housing. That's where I think we
are getting in trouble.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Well, so I want to engauge the fear mode a
little bit. I want to talk about that fear motive
a little bit. And I'm going to be personal here
if you don't mind to. As as a gay, black female,
do you feel as though.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
You specifically are more targeted in your world?
Speaker 6 (15:52):
No?
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Okay, but my but I am listening to the people
that I know who are many of them are feeling threatened.
That's I'm you know, I think you and I we've
worked on ourselves right enough and have incorporated you know,
(16:16):
whether it's signs of mind or whatever, to help us
stay grounded and not live in fear right right, But
many people have not and are caught up in it.
And I hear it in their voices, and I hear it,
(16:38):
you know, when I'm around them and what they're telling
me about their friends. And I have friends that are
you know, a gay couple and then children, and you
know they're they're concerned. I mean, there are there are
things that have happened that have been uh scary for people.
(17:02):
And so you know that's where I think we really
have to ratchet down. You know, It's one thing to say,
you know, I don't agree with your lifestyle. It is
another thing to you know, get in somebody's face, right,
you know, right, And there's more of that and and
(17:22):
so uh the and the thing is you hear about
these things. They may not have happened to you, but
people think up on see that and they were like, okay,
so now they're out in the world and their heads
on a swivel because they're concerned about you know, well,
(17:44):
who am I going to encounter today? So, you know,
I think that that's a that's a real issue for people,
you know. And then saying feeling about flaw owners right now, right,
I mean right, which you know, which I think is ridiculous.
It's like people bought teslas and they had them for
(18:05):
years and years that they're right, you know that, and
that purchase had nothing to do with elon musk today
right now, pick it in fine, you know, do it,
tell your stodar, fine, do it. But the individual tesla
owner being a target, that's insanity. Yeah. Those peoplayers live
(18:26):
in their lives trying to to you know, take care
of their lives, you know, and see that's the kind
of the behavior that you know, we just we need
to stop that craziness. But as far as the individual
person and what they can do, I think number one
(18:50):
thing just don't watch the news, Okay, I don't. They
did a study years and years ago, this is when
I was in practice. Yeah, that showed that women who
watched the news before bedtime were significantly more likely to
develop depression and anxiety, right, just watching the news at night.
(19:13):
So I mean, if you must watch the news, watch
it in the morning, watch it at dinnertime, right, you
know better. Yet, I think the best way to get
the news is to read it because I feel like
the way news is presented and the the words, the
language that's used many times is inflammatory because you know,
(19:36):
they say, you know, if it leads, it leads. That's
how the news is because that, you know, it's like
watching the train record that you can't take your eyes
off it. So I think if you read it, it
takes a lot of the energy and emotion out of
it and you just read, you know, the facts. I
like independent media because they don't have a dog in
(19:57):
the hunt. They don't have an advertiser that they're beholden to,
and so you can't speak against something. If that advertisers like, hey,
you know, we're invested in that, don't say that. So
I think indetendent media print, whether it's on the web
or paper, is useful. I get a magazine called The
(20:20):
Week of e K and basically they present what happened,
They present some of the views of the conservative papers
and publications, and they present the more left leaning in
some of the center and they give you that information
and you read it and then you go okay, and
then you get to decide what you think about that.
(20:43):
But it's not inflammatory, you know, right, And so I think,
you know, God would be the number thing because I
find the more I watch the news, the more whipped
up I am. And you know I'm not sleeping well
at nine, I'm like, okay, right, I done right. The
other thing I do is, I let me just say this,
(21:04):
I check out on the weekends. I don't read anything.
I don't watch any news, nothing over the weekend. That's
a really good idea.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
And let's continue this conversation when we come back, and
it's important. We can get whipped up easily, and let's
continue on how we get the news and why some
of it's important at least, so we'll be right back, folks,
We'll see you on the other side.
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Speaker 3 (24:03):
Welcome back everyone. It's Patty and Vanessa making sense and
we are doing our best today to talk about how
to stay calm in a chaotic world. What are some
of the things that set us off. What people's behavior.
(24:25):
You know, are we really standing up for each other?
Are we making sure to not be disrespectful? And you know,
one of the things that that we were talking about
leading into break is I do enjoy watching the news,
and I stay very neutral with it. I will go
to conservative and I will watch conservative news, and I
(24:49):
will watch far left news, more liberal leaning, and I
take both with the grain of fault figure somewhere in
the middle of that is probably and evacuate, yes, but
I'm going in consciously.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Doing that right because for me.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
When something's going on in the world, earthquake, tsunamis whatever
I want to know so I can pray for people
and just you know, be a presence energetically for them.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
So that's important to me. But I totally agree with you.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Of not watching it on the weekends and just and
just you know, letting.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
Go for a little bit. You know, I need to pop.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
On and look at news real quick Saturday afternoon on
my phone, like you said, no, no TV, just reading
articles to see.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
What's going on. I'm good with that. But the sensationalism
and people's doings is what triggers so many people subconsciously.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
And don't even know they're being triggered by the way
it's presented. And you know, both we both have been speakers.
I know when I'm on stage, I can bring that
audience to their you know, standing to their feet and
just you know, having a great time. But one thing
I learned from Sundance when I was writing my book was,
(26:18):
you know, Dan had.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
Not been to a lot of workshops, and so my
book made no sense to him. And you had read
it like the month before, and he's like.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
This book makes no sense whatsoever. And I said, well,
Vanessa likes it, and he's like, yeah, because Vanessa knows
you and has listened to some of your lectures. So
what she's not getting in the book, she's filling in
the blank because she knows what you means. I don't
know what me So it's like, understand that there's a
(26:48):
total difference between how you present in front of a
live audience and how it actually goes on the paper.
In the written word, there's not the vs inflection, there's
not the body movement, there's not all the cues that
your audience is seeing, listening and feeling.
Speaker 4 (27:06):
The book is no words.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
On paper and I went wow, And so I look
at the news the same way. Is their voice, inflection,
their body language. Whether we're aware of it consciously or.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
Not, it's still it's still affecting us. So right, and
if you want to watch, you really need to be neutral. Yes,
that's such a great point.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
And let's face it, it is in some level entertainment.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Absolutely, yes, And so you know, I think that is
a great point. Yet the thing that I like to
do is even when I read something or or hear
it on the news that I happen to per chance
watch the news, you know, I hear something and I go,
I'm going to google that, I'm going to fact check that.
I'm going to go to my AI program and say,
(27:59):
tell tell me about whatever. There's also some outlets that
one of them is called we Find It. There's so
many things on my laptop. It's bad. It's like verify this.
(28:26):
It's called verify this. And there's one another thing called
all Sides Balanced. And All Sides Balanced gives you the
article that's written from the left, the article that's written
from the right, the article that's written from the center.
So you get to compare those. It tells you which
publications or news outlets are left leaning, center or right leaning,
(28:50):
or far right or far left, So then you understand,
you know the context from which that information is coming
to you. And sometimes when you read, when you read
them you know side by side, you go, golly, there,
these stories don't even resemble each other, and so you
get a sense of how you are being manipulated. And
again that's why I like independent media because they are
(29:14):
not beholden to the life builds. Right. So, but I
also like what you said at the break was, you know,
you watch news in the morning when you have a
cup of coffee, and then you're able to sort of
process that out of you the rest of the day.
So if you've got somewhat whipped up about it, you
(29:36):
have all day to kind of let it go so
that you can sleep at night.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Right, right, I thought that, you know, it's important especially
in families. You know, my boyfriend and I are not
on the same page and it comes to politics and
some of that stuff, and what we've had to learn
within our relationship is one, we're probably never going to agree.
Two if we're going to have any discussion, it needs
(30:05):
to be.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Before five o'clock at night.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Probably in the morning, so that we do have the
data process that. But I'll tell you what if if
we get caught off guard and we have a conversation
in the evening, it goes out of control and neither
one of us can sleep because we're so frustrated that
either one isn't listening or hearing the way we think
(30:30):
they should be right. And so, you know, those keys
are important of just because I know and I know
you know, so many couples who are opposites, whether it's politics,
whether it's religion, you know, whatever it is, we raise
(30:50):
our children, whatever, do not have those conversations in the evening.
Speaker 4 (30:57):
We're tired. You're tired night. When you're tired, you have
no buffer. Yeah, you know what I mean. So that's
the worst time to try to have a conversation. You know,
Go get some sleep, get up fresh, and do it.
You know, it's funny, I was sitting here, I was look.
(31:18):
I wrote some notes this the afternoon to kind of say, okay,
I want to remember these things, and I'm reading them
and I'm going you know, it all gets down to
personal responsibility yet again, Yet our favorite theme, you know,
you know, it's your responsibility to not have conversations you know,
(31:42):
at night like that and when you're tired or watch
the news at night that whips you up, you know,
and choosing where you get your information, and it's on
you to do some you know, research to make sure
what you think is actually true. There's a lot of chunk.
(32:05):
I mean, I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone,
but WhatsApp and telegram are not news. Their opinion. Everybody
has opinions, just like we have noses and other things. Kay,
So you know, be very conscious of the quality of
(32:31):
the source of your information. Yeah so, but you know,
when we come back, because you've got to go to break,
let's talk about because we can talk about this like forever,
but let's talk about the things that you can in
your life to help you not be whipped up and
(32:55):
stay centered and stay calm. How about that. It's great.
Let's talk about it when we come back.
Speaker 9 (33:02):
Folks for being back in just a minute.
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Speaker 1 (34:54):
If you're on Pattyconklin dot com, you might want to
visit her store. There you can inexpensive by powerful visualizations
on a plethora of subjects, all to help you heal,
help rebuild your immune system, work with color or tunnel energy,
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(35:16):
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Pattyconkline dot com Expanding your mind, Healthy life got net.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
Okay, Hey everyone coming back.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Yeah, I was just reminiscing here in my mind about
some of the things ruminating.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
I guess more than reminiscing about.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
Some of the things I've seen, and you know, Vanessa
had good points leading into this, but I really wanted
to touch base about social media and how people, because
they're not standing in front of a physical person, a
live human being, the nastiness, the meanness just coming out
(36:15):
of every direction, and it just it's appalling to me.
It's it's appalling to me that people feel like it's
okay should be so cruel and mean and not even
fitting the circumstances. While I was talking about a woman
(36:36):
locally who had come onto our local news you know,
Facebook page, asking for help because she had a new
baby and she didn't have enough money for formula.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
She wasn't getting good solid breast.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Milk and she needed formula, and people were just jumping in, going,
you know, well, why'd you get knocked up to begin with?
And and you know.
Speaker 4 (37:01):
Where's your baby? Where's your baby daddy?
Speaker 3 (37:04):
And you know I and people were so cruel and
and I finally just you know, wrote down there, you know,
DM me and I'll help you out. And I just
I just don't understand why.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
People from all walks of life. I don't think it's
just one group. I think people definitely all walks of
life are becoming bolder. Well, it's easy to do, like
you said, you know you can, I mean, you can
rip off all sorts of stuff online and you just
you have no repercussions. You know, you know you think
(37:42):
talks when you say that to somebody's face, because you
might have an assist in it, right From the other
thing too, is to think about what well, I mean,
you could go, what would Jesus do? That make me
that whole time? But what would your mother think about
you behaving that way?
Speaker 7 (37:58):
Right?
Speaker 4 (37:59):
And if right, if you're other would say that's I
didn't teach you to be that way, then don't do
it right?
Speaker 5 (38:06):
Right?
Speaker 3 (38:07):
I mean I think that that's what's crazy, right, is
just the full aspect of the anonymous participants, Yes, because
we don't know who you are, and I just think
that that if we went back, and I don't know
(38:27):
how we do it. I mean, sometimes for Vanessa, I
feel like we've gone so far over the edge that
there's no recovery. And I know that there is, but boy,
there's days when I just feel like, how will we
ever come back to a great world?
Speaker 4 (38:46):
And then one person at a time and each of
us can do our best to do good right and
show compassion. And I think that that does spread, you know,
And so we we just need to do our best
(39:08):
and and uh and support other people to do their best. Yeah.
And I think we can, we can slowly, slowly, you know,
return to some semblance of cordialness. Yeah. Yeah, but I
think you're absolutely right. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
When we were on break, we were talking to our
producer Jay about this, and Jay had come in that
he felt like it had always been there. Jay, feel
free to jump in if you'd like to do this.
Your opinion valuable about how that, you know. And and
I think that that goes back to what I was
saying in the beginning is have people always felt this
(39:52):
way and they're now just verbalizing.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
It, they're just in bold. Yeah, And it's easy, think
about it.
Speaker 5 (40:00):
It's easy, you know.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
When you're calling into a radio show back then, I
mean I had to call fifty times to try to
get through. That takes some effort. Now you just pull
out your phone and beep bleeping. You can just you know,
destroy someone, right, Yeah, it's easy, you know. And I
think that the other thing is people feel bad about themselves,
(40:22):
and it makes them feel better to put someone else down. Yeah,
and so it is sad of a deeper problem.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well, I mean it really hinges and
kind of circles around the whole mental health of this country.
But the world, I.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
Mean the world.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
I remember being young and traveling the world and people go, oh,
you're Americans, and they were so excited to have an
American there, you know, whatever country I was in. And
quite frankly, right now, if I were to jump on
a plane and go to Brazil or go wherever, I'm
(41:03):
not going to be welcome, very friendly.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
And I know that, right, I mean we were hearing
about that, so right right, Yeahause, I'm an American, and
so no longer stop looking at who we are individually worth. Yeah,
we're really clumping countries together and people together and making
it this blob instead of distinct, loving human beings. Well,
(41:30):
you know, I had this thought this morning that I
was looking at I said, you know, the world is
our home. I was breathing from my Signs of Mind magazine.
He was talking about, you know, how can we help
sustain the earth? Mother Earth? I mean that's for real.
Mother Earth nourishes us, bring gives us everything. And if
(41:53):
you think about Earth being home, that means everyone on
the planet is really right because we're all home. We
have the same home. If we have that kind of thought,
you know, maybe we wouldn't do the things we do. Yeah,
but yeah, funny. The other funny thing is that I
(42:17):
think all of the things that we talk about that
help us stay healthy are the same things I think
we need to do and not get caught up in
the chaos, right right, be healthy.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
That that that laughter aspect, the humor I'm gonna share
real funny this weekend.
Speaker 4 (42:42):
Yeah is great.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
So you know, I'm building this small house Todd and
our building.
Speaker 4 (42:49):
So this weekend we went looking.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
For tile and Dan and Kuss remodeled their bathroom last year,
and I loved the tile in it. So I texted
Dan's fun and I said, Hey, what's the name of
the tile that you and Kesh put in the bathroom?
Speaker 4 (43:06):
And he immediately writes back, Sally.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
I'm wandering around to the four people, going I'm looking
for a town named Sally, and they're like, what, we
don't know this Sally tile. I'm like, and I'm like
I finally, Foke stands back and I'm like, nobody knows
who's Sally or what this Sally tile is and he
(43:30):
does his face palm on his phone and he's like,
for crying out loud, Mom, Sally is the name of
the bathroom, Kesh, and I named the bathroom. So instead
of I'm going to the bathroom, I'm gonna go see Sally.
Speaker 4 (43:46):
And I'm laughing so hard, Mom, I can't see it off.
And and Todd, my boyfriend, is just doubles over in
the file, laughing so funny, a good laugh like that.
It does.
Speaker 3 (44:02):
I mean, everybody kes Scott home and Dan has to
tell her. So she's coming down downstairs to my room
and she's like, do you want to go see Sally now?
Speaker 4 (44:13):
Oh gosh, just sterle, I love it. It decreased so
much for ye humor going.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
I mean, yes, we've got a lot of KF. But
within our loved ones and family, let's let's keep the
fun going. And when we come back, let's talk about
some constructive, productive ways to kelsey and happy during our chaos.
Speaker 4 (44:40):
We'll be right back, Okay.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
Patty Conklin is busy, but she's never too bad for you.
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(45:19):
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Speaker 1 (45:43):
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Speaker 1 (46:30):
If you're wondering if Patty can help you heal, why
not book a free fifteen minute consultation either by phone
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(46:53):
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for your free consultation at Pattyconklin dot com.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
Radio Your Way Healthy dot net.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
Hey everyone, it's Patty and Vanessa making sense on the
Patti Conklin Show. Yeah, healthylife dot net. Visit us there
you can sit.
Speaker 4 (47:32):
And watch the podcast.
Speaker 3 (47:33):
You can also if we're doing a topic and you're
listening live and you want to ask a question, feel
free to email us and you can find that on
my email or on my website. And I don't know
about Vanessa's website.
Speaker 4 (47:51):
It's just Patty C at Pattyconklin dot com. Feel free
to email.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
Us because we checked during the show and we can
answer your question. But for ess that we're in our
last segments and I want to talk about, and I
know you want to talk about, how do we get productive?
How do we stop doing the knee jer trigger reactions
right to the chaos?
Speaker 4 (48:15):
Well, I mean, I think we must adopt healthy habits
because the body isn't separate from the mind and the spirit. Okay,
So if the body is jacked up, your ability to
think and feel and all of that is going to
be affected. I think in trying times, you know, people
(48:36):
turn to alcohol, and it is the worst thing. Alcohol
is a depressant. It makes depression and anxiety worse. So
stop the alcohol. You know, the sugar. Sugar whips people
up and then crashes them down, you know, so excess caffeine.
(48:57):
I mean, my god, you're just like clenching your teeth
and just you know, snappy. You know, those are basic
things that we control. Exercise, of course, exercise is always good.
It helps you sleep better. Yoga, you know, incorporates the
whole breathing aspect, breathing deep breathing exercises. A matter of fact,
(49:18):
there's something called nine breaths and google it and it's
a technique to breathe that helps you relax and it
really works. Getting out of nature, you know, take your
shoes off and go walk in the grass. Or I
love going to the park in springtime because of the
(49:40):
just amazing flowers, like my azalities are blooming and they're
you know, yesterday they were like barely sprouting out and
now they're like halfway bloomed. I mean, while culture is fascinating,
and I think for me, when I get out in nature,
I recognize just how insignificant I really am. I Oh,
(50:03):
you've got it. Yeah, So you know that's easy, and
that's free. All of these things are free. You don't
have to join a gym or anything. You can go
online and find yoga class. You know, you don't have
to do anything fancy, but all of these things help
have a healthy body. Deep breathing is good for you. Laster,
(50:28):
Like you said, you know, just find like there are
certain movies I love to watch because I just laugh
like the nutty professor. Oh my god. It's just like
you know, so you know, go on Netflix or whatever
paid you know, not pay for, but you know, on demand,
and you're you're a cable company. You can find, righty
(50:50):
many things that you know you just can't help laugh,
right you see him. Every time you see that movie,
you just double over and laugh and you feel so
good after you've had a good laugh, you know. And
so yeah, I mean these are free things, and these
are things that you know we should do anyway and
right and I think you.
Speaker 5 (51:10):
Know, be able to admit if you need help.
Speaker 4 (51:16):
Yeah, this online counseling. Do you can go to individual
counseling in person. You can do group counseling in person.
I guess they have group counseling online. I mean these
resources are available, right, go to your church, your minister,
you know. I mean there are resources out there that
(51:41):
you can tap into if you need help. You know,
and and I think that I just had this conversation
with a couple of friends yesterday about how it took
them like years, decades to figure out that they could
ask for help. Right, right, people want to help, yes,
(52:03):
So don't be shy, you know, you know, ask your
friends for help, ask your family. You know, if someone
says no, I can't help, you, go to the next person. Right,
but right, don't keep that in isolation. I think when
you when we withdraw, you know, whatever we can conceive
(52:25):
in our mind is usually way worse. Right, what's really
going on? Or you anticipate something that's going to be bad,
and you just whip it up in your head and
it becomes larger than life and it hasn't even occurred.
Right where you're whipped up about it. You're a shit.
Speaker 3 (52:48):
You're whipped up about it because the anxiety takes you there.
It hasn't occurred, and you don't know if it will occur.
You're just in absolute fear.
Speaker 4 (52:56):
I know some of those moments when I feel overwhelmed.
This is kind of my go to is. I love
the sound of silence by Disturbed, and I will put
it on a loop because.
Speaker 3 (53:11):
It's just the tenor of his voice, and the music
is such, it's so deep for me, and I would
put it on loop. And I realized that.
Speaker 4 (53:22):
I can process things that bothering me just by listening
to music. And yes, there's music that makes.
Speaker 3 (53:29):
Me happy and makes me jump away and a temples
in my kitchen and that's bossom.
Speaker 4 (53:35):
Oh, I gotta see that process. I know it. I
know it. I should have better about life listening up.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
I mean, you know, I'm not okay in life as
seriously as I would have out common down a little bit,
but I think that it's important that we find the tools.
And the one thing that I would really encourage for
people is you start the one on one interaction again,
(54:02):
because I think the one thing COVID did was even
those who weren't introverts became introverts. And I think the
human touch, the looking at each other to kind of
bring us back to a semblance balance is important. And
you know, the online groups are there and they're important
(54:25):
and it's important, but you know, it's getting out again,
back into a rhythm of seeing people. And I know
that's weird for me, but I think that I realized
just how important that is.
Speaker 4 (54:42):
Yes, I agree, you know, we're used to I think
so many people are texting and that's their connection, and
you miss out on sitting down with someone over a
cup of coffee and talking and reaching out and touching
their hand. That is powerful. Yeah, And and I mean
(55:03):
I meet friend zone and it's like, hey, let's just
go walk and then we're talking it the whole time.
And like tomorrow morning, I'm meeting a friend. We were
going to walk with the pollen. It's just too bad.
So we're gonna eat and have coffee and catch up,
you know. And I could send an email and says, hey,
this is what's whatever, but it's just so much more
meaningful when you're looking in that person's eye and you
(55:25):
see them smiling back at you and and all of that.
And so, you know, put the phone down. I actually
put in my phone at eight o'clock at night in
my calendar for every day and it says put the
phone down. Oh wow, So my goal is to go
put the phone on the charger and just leave it
(55:47):
there for the rest of the night. Yeah, yeah, you know,
I mean yeah, And so because it's a distraction, it
keeps you from interacting and and so you know, I mean,
I'm married, and it's like, okay, I need to put
the phone down because this is the time we have
to spend together after dinner and catch up on the
(56:08):
day or whatever, and you know, put the phone down down,
and it's that you're right, You're absolutely right that human
connection is important and get us back to what really matters,
and you know, and it's worth the effort. Yes, it's
(56:36):
not going to happen magically, right, You guys have to
call somebody or text them and say, hey, let's meet
for coffee. Yeah, let's meet up, you know, let's have
lunch or whatever.
Speaker 10 (56:48):
It is.
Speaker 3 (56:50):
My friend and I are doing a routine, you know,
grab a quick dinner, and he'll pick his phone up
and start going through Facebook, and I just gently lay
my hand over his and it reminds him to put
it down, and so no words to be spocused just
like right here, I am so, I mean, I know people,
(57:12):
thank you so much for joining us, folks, and and
I know the next three weeks are going to be
us founding with Vanessa and her guests. Make sure you
tune in and we have for one of you, and
thank you for being a part of the show.
Speaker 4 (57:29):
Thank you so much. Everybody, Stay well, stay well, absolutely
bye bye.
Speaker 1 (57:37):
You've been listening to the Patti Conklin Show on healthylife
dot net radio. To listen to it again or share
it with a friend, visit healthylife dot ned podcast on demand.
Link on our homepage and click on Patti Conklin
Broadcasting from Manhattan Beach and the world wide Web. You're
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Speaker 2 (00:08):
As a service to our listeners. This program is for
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Speaker 1 (00:29):
It's time now for the Patti Conklin Show, exclusively on
healthylife dot Net Radio.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Hello, everyone is Patti Conklin and my co host Vanessa
Hall Andy Promle. Please here on our show making sense
and we attempt to do it, although you know Vanessa
would would clearly tell.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
You that most of the time it don't make sense.
Fun if you listen to my reach, you said it.
I didn't say it. No, no, no, you're just with
I would never say that. So so we've had some.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Exciting guests on. We've got more exciting guests coming up.
I had Lisa Coffee on last program, and just an awesome,
awesome program with Lisa talking about the music, the children's
songs she's written and and some from the facta Vita.
(01:37):
I know I'm not pronouncing that rate anyways, I for you,
I just can't.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Say that it.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
An awesome show, and I know Foranessa has some awesome guests.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Yes, yeah, next week we're gonna I was interviewing my coach,
the legendary Harbor Len's basketball coach, Kathy Delaney, and we
had technical difficulties. There were phone problems, so we only
got half the show. So she's next week. And I'm
really excited about the seventeenth author, actor and interfitness guru
(02:19):
Tina Lifford. It's going to be my guest on the seventeenth.
That's going to be so exciting. Don't miss either of them.
They have so much wisdom between them. And then the
week after that is my shaman class teachers Harey and
Nina Christ from the Jaguar Path School of Modern Shamanism.
(02:43):
I'm two thirds of the way through my class with
them and they join me on the twenty fourth, and
I'm so excited about them. It is this class has
just been amazing and you just don't want to miss
any of these. They're going to be so much fun
and so much wisdom, right right, I mean just amazing
(03:05):
line up.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Amazing lineup, and and I really I love the fact
that you get such exciting guests on I will be traveling,
I will be keynoting in Arkansas next weekend and and
so it owes our research institute and then the drag
racing the following weekend. So I mean, fun cars and lectures.
(03:31):
That's that's my things.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
And I know it is you love cars. I'll be happy.
I'll be very happy.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
So so yeah, we've got lots coming up.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
And like I said, I love your lineup.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
You and I had talked about what's the talking follend,
what's to talk about today? And honestly, you know, I
keep waiting for the chaos in the world to slow down,
and you know, feel like it is. And so it's
kind of like, how do we stay calm in a
(04:07):
chaotic world? How do we get caught up in what's
taking place? You know, because we all have opinions, right,
and so we want to kind of go with a group.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
That fits our opinions.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
But the reality is we stay very, very hyper focused.
Then if we're just talking to people who believe the
same way we do, right, And I think that that
kind of accentuates the craziness, chaotic feeling that then surrounds
(04:44):
you because you're not listening, you're not allowing others to,
you know, give their point of view. And and we
make it so much, we talk about this from essa,
we make it so much about what's right and what's
wrong right, and when we really break it down, there's
(05:05):
not a writer wrong, there's an opinion. And so give
us some advice, sc Well, what do we do, you know, just.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
To comment on that, take a little further. You know,
I think that currently in the US, at least, there
seems to be so much anger and an inability to
have a civil conversation. I mean, we see our public
leaders calling people losers and other you know, derogatory things,
(05:40):
and you know that's unacceptable. We would not allow our
children to do that and behave that way, and right
what it does that just polarizes everyone. I mean, if
you call me a you know, blankety blank, you know
what kind of response do you expect? Right? And so
(06:01):
we need to put down our arms, you know, we
need to take a breath and let's discuss.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
The the topics and just discuss them and then we
can agree to disagree.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
This right. You know, one of the things that I
think that it feels like people are forgetting is that,
you know, one of those things, those core things that
separates America, the United States of America from other countries
is our freedom to have our own opinion and to
be able to say it. You know, I've said to
(06:41):
many many people that I defend I'm a black person,
So just in case anybody didn't know, I will descend
and the right for the ku Klub's Klan to march
down the street because it's their right as an American citizen.
Right as long as there's no threatening of other people,
(07:03):
say what believe what you think. But here's the butt.
You have to allow that for every other person and
their voice and their opinion, right, And that's real freedom.
But we need to have just you know, just polite
(07:26):
discourse without the name calling and the accusations and the judgment.
And I'm the saying I don't fall into it. Sometimes.
I've made a conscious effort to you know, live and
let live, you know, allow people to have their opinion
without judging them. Right, And I think that what you
(07:48):
said earlier about people only talking to people who have
their opinion, you get in an echo chamber. And I
think that's dangerous because you don't even hear a different
opinion that that maybe is a different way of thinking
about it, that might lead you to thinking about things
in a different way. Also, I think when you only
(08:09):
associate with people who think like you, it is way
easier to get into the trap of hauling people other.
They're different, they're other, they're this, they're less than whatever.
And so we all need to take a breast, take
a step back, you know, and and just take some
(08:30):
of this excess energy and anger out of it because
it's not constructive. You know, we are not making progress.
So you know, just to start there, people can start there.
That's like a huge step. I think that one of
(08:53):
the other things. I mean, I have friends that are
like wigging out and I know, no some trans people
who are fearful, right, And I get it, And and
I think that people need to keep that in mind.
You know, there's no excuse for uh, physical attacks or
(09:18):
virtual attacks. If you don't like someone's life or lifestyle,
walk away, right, don't associate. Yeah, you know you don't
like it, can't respect it exactly, and you know what,
it's your right to not agree with that anyone's lifestyle,
(09:39):
but it is not your right to uh threaten them,
harass them, uh physically assault them. You know. So we've
got it. We really have to get past all that.
But I think you know that I want to I
want to cut in here for a minute because it
seems like, I mean, we're both children of well I'm
(10:01):
the children of the fifties or children of the sixties.
But it feels like this has I mean, it's increased
in volume obviously over the last few years. But we've
always dealt with this.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
I mean, this has always been a hang up in
US society. Now, I've traveled a lot of the world,
and I know you've traveled in the amount as well.
I don't see the designations of race and status and
belief like we have delegated in this country. I mean,
(10:39):
you know, it's it's it's it's I'm gonna say it's
a US problem.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
I mean, I realize there's.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Problems in other areas, but we seem to like take
the cake for it, but we've been able to get
beyond it.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
And it get worse. Yeah, yeah, you know, And it's
and it's interesting because I what I really think is
that while we had the civil rights movement and we
made progress in all of that, that there's this there
has been an undercurrent of racism and sexism and otherism
(11:22):
that has been sort of undercover, but now it's just
just in full effect. It's like everywhere, it's like it's okay.
It's like people have gotten an okay to uh otherise
people and stigmatize them and judge them and all of this. Now. Granted,
(11:43):
we know there are other countries that have repressive regimes
and you know, women that are you know, relegated to
you know, subservient everything and that. But you know, we
have these ideals of America, but we're not living up
to them, and we haven't, right, we haven't fully lived
up to them. And so you know, one of the
questions I have is that do we believe in this
(12:05):
American dream or not? Because if you do, then you
defend a person's right to be who they are, those liberties,
black liberty, and pursuit of happiness, right, And and I
question whether that's really what we as a nation really
(12:26):
truly embrace. Because it's it's easy to embrace when everybody's
the same. It gets harder when people are different, you know,
than so it's just a it's food for thought for folks,
you know what I mean. I think that so you know,
I'm playing Devil's advocate here for a minute, and I
(12:46):
know I'm playing advocate, so I fully admit it. Okay,
So the thing is, Okay, the current current political climate
whatever is giving people license to speak more openly about
how they feel. And and but the challenge is, is
(13:11):
they still felt the same way forty years ago, they
just didn't speak it, and now they're speaking it. And
by contrast, the trans need or you know, individuals who
have different lifestyles had been in the shadows and have
slowly opened up and come out and felt that comfort.
(13:35):
And so so in some ways we're doing this flip flop.
It's like, Okay, people are being more vocal.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
I think the challenge is is and they're being more violent,
I think. But I think that what is curious to
me is one group of people are feeling had been
feeling more safe to be out, and the people who
also suppressed.
Speaker 4 (14:01):
What they felt are also cry out. So I don't
feel like it's a new dynamic. I think both groups
are are coming out more and so we're creating more
of a class. Yes, But I think the differentiator to
me is, yes, if you had this belief and you
(14:24):
were undercovered before and now you're more vocal about it,
I've got no problem with people being vocal about their opinion.
The problem comes when you want to dictate other people's lives.
You want to threaten their physical safety, their livelihoods, their housing,
(14:44):
and those kinds of things. That's the extreme part to me.
It's that the opinion and your belief that you know,
trans people and gay people are whatever. It's fine to
me think what you like. I don't care, right, but
I can't cross that line to harm people. And that's
(15:06):
what it feels like. Has become more acceptable to attack people,
whether that's verbally or physically, or to you know, threaten
their jobs or their housing. That's where I think we
are getting in trouble.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Well, so I want to engauge the fear mode a
little bit. I want to talk about that fear motive
a little bit. And I'm going to be personal here
if you don't mind to. As as a gay, black female,
do you feel as though.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
You specifically are more targeted in your world?
Speaker 6 (15:52):
No?
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Okay, but my but I am listening to the people
that I know who are many of them are feeling threatened.
That's I'm you know, I think you and I we've
worked on ourselves right enough and have incorporated you know,
(16:16):
whether it's signs of mind or whatever, to help us
stay grounded and not live in fear right right, But
many people have not and are caught up in it.
And I hear it in their voices, and I hear it,
(16:38):
you know, when I'm around them and what they're telling
me about their friends. And I have friends that are
you know, a gay couple and then children, and you
know they're they're concerned. I mean, there are there are
things that have happened that have been uh scary for people.
(17:02):
And so you know that's where I think we really
have to ratchet down. You know, It's one thing to say,
you know, I don't agree with your lifestyle. It is
another thing to you know, get in somebody's face, right,
you know, right, And there's more of that and and
(17:22):
so uh the and the thing is you hear about
these things. They may not have happened to you, but
people think up on see that and they were like, okay,
so now they're out in the world and their heads
on a swivel because they're concerned about you know, well,
(17:44):
who am I going to encounter today? So, you know,
I think that that's a that's a real issue for people,
you know. And then saying feeling about flaw owners right now, right,
I mean right, which you know, which I think is ridiculous.
It's like people bought teslas and they had them for
(18:05):
years and years that they're right, you know that, and
that purchase had nothing to do with elon musk today
right now, pick it in fine, you know, do it,
tell your stodar, fine, do it. But the individual tesla
owner being a target, that's insanity. Yeah. Those peoplayers live
(18:26):
in their lives trying to to you know, take care
of their lives, you know, and see that's the kind
of the behavior that you know, we just we need
to stop that craziness. But as far as the individual
person and what they can do, I think number one
(18:50):
thing just don't watch the news, Okay, I don't. They
did a study years and years ago, this is when
I was in practice. Yeah, that showed that women who
watched the news before bedtime were significantly more likely to
develop depression and anxiety, right, just watching the news at night.
(19:13):
So I mean, if you must watch the news, watch
it in the morning, watch it at dinnertime, right, you
know better. Yet, I think the best way to get
the news is to read it because I feel like
the way news is presented and the the words, the
language that's used many times is inflammatory because you know,
(19:36):
they say, you know, if it leads, it leads. That's
how the news is because that, you know, it's like
watching the train record that you can't take your eyes
off it. So I think if you read it, it
takes a lot of the energy and emotion out of
it and you just read, you know, the facts. I
like independent media because they don't have a dog in
(19:57):
the hunt. They don't have an advertiser that they're beholden to,
and so you can't speak against something. If that advertisers like, hey,
you know, we're invested in that, don't say that. So
I think indetendent media print, whether it's on the web
or paper, is useful. I get a magazine called The
(20:20):
Week of e K and basically they present what happened,
They present some of the views of the conservative papers
and publications, and they present the more left leaning in
some of the center and they give you that information
and you read it and then you go okay, and
then you get to decide what you think about that.
(20:43):
But it's not inflammatory, you know, right, And so I think,
you know, God would be the number thing because I
find the more I watch the news, the more whipped
up I am. And you know I'm not sleeping well
at nine, I'm like, okay, right, I done right. The
other thing I do is, I let me just say this,
(21:04):
I check out on the weekends. I don't read anything.
I don't watch any news, nothing over the weekend. That's
a really good idea.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
And let's continue this conversation when we come back, and
it's important. We can get whipped up easily, and let's
continue on how we get the news and why some
of it's important at least, so we'll be right back, folks,
We'll see you on the other side.
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Speaker 7 (23:48):
There where positive people and radio unite healthylife dot net.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Welcome back everyone. It's Patty and Vanessa making sense and
we are doing our best today to talk about how
to stay calm in a chaotic world. What are some
of the things that set us off. What people's behavior.
(24:25):
You know, are we really standing up for each other?
Are we making sure to not be disrespectful? And you know,
one of the things that that we were talking about
leading into break is I do enjoy watching the news,
and I stay very neutral with it. I will go
to conservative and I will watch conservative news, and I
(24:49):
will watch far left news, more liberal leaning, and I
take both with the grain of fault figure somewhere in
the middle of that is probably and evacuate, yes, but
I'm going in consciously.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
Doing that right because for me.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
When something's going on in the world, earthquake, tsunamis whatever
I want to know so I can pray for people
and just you know, be a presence energetically for them.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
So that's important to me. But I totally agree with you.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Of not watching it on the weekends and just and
just you know, letting.
Speaker 4 (25:28):
Go for a little bit. You know, I need to pop.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
On and look at news real quick Saturday afternoon on
my phone, like you said, no, no TV, just reading
articles to see.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
What's going on. I'm good with that. But the sensationalism
and people's doings is what triggers so many people subconsciously.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
And don't even know they're being triggered by the way
it's presented. And you know, both we both have been speakers.
I know when I'm on stage, I can bring that
audience to their you know, standing to their feet and
just you know, having a great time. But one thing
I learned from Sundance when I was writing my book was,
(26:18):
you know, Dan had.
Speaker 4 (26:19):
Not been to a lot of workshops, and so my
book made no sense to him. And you had read
it like the month before, and he's like.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
This book makes no sense whatsoever. And I said, well,
Vanessa likes it, and he's like, yeah, because Vanessa knows
you and has listened to some of your lectures. So
what she's not getting in the book, she's filling in
the blank because she knows what you means. I don't
know what me So it's like, understand that there's a
(26:48):
total difference between how you present in front of a
live audience and how it actually goes on the paper.
In the written word, there's not the vs inflection, there's
not the body movement, there's not all the cues that
your audience is seeing, listening and feeling.
Speaker 4 (27:06):
The book is no words.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
On paper and I went wow, And so I look
at the news the same way. Is their voice, inflection,
their body language. Whether we're aware of it consciously or.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
Not, it's still it's still affecting us. So right, and
if you want to watch, you really need to be neutral. Yes,
that's such a great point.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
And let's face it, it is in some level entertainment.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Absolutely, yes, And so you know, I think that is
a great point. Yet the thing that I like to
do is even when I read something or or hear
it on the news that I happen to per chance
watch the news, you know, I hear something and I go,
I'm going to google that, I'm going to fact check that.
I'm going to go to my AI program and say,
(27:59):
tell tell me about whatever. There's also some outlets that
one of them is called we Find It. There's so
many things on my laptop. It's bad. It's like verify this.
(28:26):
It's called verify this. And there's one another thing called
all Sides Balanced. And All Sides Balanced gives you the
article that's written from the left, the article that's written
from the right, the article that's written from the center.
So you get to compare those. It tells you which
publications or news outlets are left leaning, center or right leaning,
(28:50):
or far right or far left, So then you understand,
you know the context from which that information is coming
to you. And sometimes when you read, when you read
them you know side by side, you go, golly, there,
these stories don't even resemble each other, and so you
get a sense of how you are being manipulated. And
again that's why I like independent media because they are
(29:14):
not beholden to the life builds. Right. So, but I
also like what you said at the break was, you know,
you watch news in the morning when you have a
cup of coffee, and then you're able to sort of
process that out of you the rest of the day.
So if you've got somewhat whipped up about it, you
(29:36):
have all day to kind of let it go so
that you can sleep at night.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Right, right, I thought that, you know, it's important especially
in families. You know, my boyfriend and I are not
on the same page and it comes to politics and
some of that stuff, and what we've had to learn
within our relationship is one, we're probably never going to agree.
Two if we're going to have any discussion, it needs
(30:05):
to be.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
Before five o'clock at night.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Probably in the morning, so that we do have the
data process that. But I'll tell you what if if
we get caught off guard and we have a conversation
in the evening, it goes out of control and neither
one of us can sleep because we're so frustrated that
either one isn't listening or hearing the way we think
(30:30):
they should be right. And so, you know, those keys
are important of just because I know and I know
you know, so many couples who are opposites, whether it's politics,
whether it's religion, you know, whatever it is, we raise
(30:50):
our children, whatever, do not have those conversations in the evening.
Speaker 4 (30:57):
We're tired. You're tired night. When you're tired, you have
no buffer. Yeah, you know what I mean. So that's
the worst time to try to have a conversation. You know,
Go get some sleep, get up fresh, and do it.
You know, it's funny, I was sitting here, I was look.
(31:18):
I wrote some notes this the afternoon to kind of say, okay,
I want to remember these things, and I'm reading them
and I'm going you know, it all gets down to
personal responsibility yet again, Yet our favorite theme, you know,
you know, it's your responsibility to not have conversations you know,
(31:42):
at night like that and when you're tired or watch
the news at night that whips you up, you know,
and choosing where you get your information, and it's on
you to do some you know, research to make sure
what you think is actually true. There's a lot of chunk.
(32:05):
I mean, I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone,
but WhatsApp and telegram are not news. Their opinion. Everybody
has opinions, just like we have noses and other things. Kay,
So you know, be very conscious of the quality of
(32:31):
the source of your information. Yeah so, but you know,
when we come back, because you've got to go to break,
let's talk about because we can talk about this like forever,
but let's talk about the things that you can in
your life to help you not be whipped up and
(32:55):
stay centered and stay calm. How about that. It's great.
Let's talk about it when we come back.
Speaker 9 (33:02):
Folks for being back in just a minute.
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Speaker 4 (35:39):
Okay, Hey everyone coming back.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Yeah, I was just reminiscing here in my mind about
some of the things ruminating.
Speaker 4 (35:47):
I guess more than reminiscing about.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
Some of the things I've seen, and you know, Vanessa
had good points leading into this, but I really wanted
to touch base about social media and how people, because
they're not standing in front of a physical person, a
live human being, the nastiness, the meanness just coming out
(36:15):
of every direction, and it just it's appalling to me.
It's it's appalling to me that people feel like it's
okay should be so cruel and mean and not even
fitting the circumstances. While I was talking about a woman
(36:36):
locally who had come onto our local news you know,
Facebook page, asking for help because she had a new
baby and she didn't have enough money for formula.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
She wasn't getting good solid breast.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Milk and she needed formula, and people were just jumping in, going,
you know, well, why'd you get knocked up to begin with?
And and you know.
Speaker 4 (37:01):
Where's your baby? Where's your baby daddy?
Speaker 3 (37:04):
And you know I and people were so cruel and
and I finally just you know, wrote down there, you know,
DM me and I'll help you out. And I just
I just don't understand why.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
People from all walks of life. I don't think it's
just one group. I think people definitely all walks of
life are becoming bolder. Well, it's easy to do, like
you said, you know you can, I mean, you can
rip off all sorts of stuff online and you just
you have no repercussions. You know, you know you think
(37:42):
talks when you say that to somebody's face, because you
might have an assist in it, right From the other
thing too, is to think about what well, I mean,
you could go, what would Jesus do? That make me
that whole time? But what would your mother think about
you behaving that way?
Speaker 7 (37:58):
Right?
Speaker 4 (37:59):
And if right, if you're other would say that's I
didn't teach you to be that way, then don't do
it right?
Speaker 5 (38:06):
Right?
Speaker 3 (38:07):
I mean I think that that's what's crazy, right, is
just the full aspect of the anonymous participants, Yes, because
we don't know who you are, and I just think
that that if we went back, and I don't know
(38:27):
how we do it. I mean, sometimes for Vanessa, I
feel like we've gone so far over the edge that
there's no recovery. And I know that there is, but boy,
there's days when I just feel like, how will we
ever come back to a great world?
Speaker 4 (38:46):
And then one person at a time and each of
us can do our best to do good right and
show compassion. And I think that that does spread, you know,
And so we we just need to do our best
(39:08):
and and uh and support other people to do their best. Yeah.
And I think we can, we can slowly, slowly, you know,
return to some semblance of cordialness. Yeah. Yeah, but I
think you're absolutely right. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
When we were on break, we were talking to our
producer Jay about this, and Jay had come in that
he felt like it had always been there. Jay, feel
free to jump in if you'd like to do this.
Your opinion valuable about how that, you know. And and
I think that that goes back to what I was
saying in the beginning is have people always felt this
(39:52):
way and they're now just verbalizing.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
It, they're just in bold. Yeah, And it's easy, think
about it.
Speaker 5 (40:00):
It's easy, you know.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
When you're calling into a radio show back then, I
mean I had to call fifty times to try to
get through. That takes some effort. Now you just pull
out your phone and beep bleeping. You can just you know,
destroy someone, right, Yeah, it's easy, you know. And I
think that the other thing is people feel bad about themselves,
(40:22):
and it makes them feel better to put someone else down. Yeah,
and so it is sad of a deeper problem.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well, I mean it really hinges and
kind of circles around the whole mental health of this country.
But the world, I.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
Mean the world.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
I remember being young and traveling the world and people go, oh,
you're Americans, and they were so excited to have an
American there, you know, whatever country I was in. And
quite frankly, right now, if I were to jump on
a plane and go to Brazil or go wherever, I'm
(41:03):
not going to be welcome, very friendly.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
And I know that, right, I mean we were hearing
about that, so right right, Yeahause, I'm an American, and
so no longer stop looking at who we are individually worth. Yeah,
we're really clumping countries together and people together and making
it this blob instead of distinct, loving human beings. Well,
(41:30):
you know, I had this thought this morning that I
was looking at I said, you know, the world is
our home. I was breathing from my Signs of Mind magazine.
He was talking about, you know, how can we help
sustain the earth? Mother Earth? I mean that's for real.
Mother Earth nourishes us, bring gives us everything. And if
(41:53):
you think about Earth being home, that means everyone on
the planet is really right because we're all home. We
have the same home. If we have that kind of thought,
you know, maybe we wouldn't do the things we do. Yeah,
but yeah, funny. The other funny thing is that I
(42:17):
think all of the things that we talk about that
help us stay healthy are the same things I think
we need to do and not get caught up in
the chaos, right right, be healthy.
Speaker 3 (42:34):
That that that laughter aspect, the humor I'm gonna share
real funny this weekend.
Speaker 4 (42:42):
Yeah is great.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
So you know, I'm building this small house Todd and
our building.
Speaker 4 (42:49):
So this weekend we went looking.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
For tile and Dan and Kuss remodeled their bathroom last year,
and I loved the tile in it. So I texted
Dan's fun and I said, Hey, what's the name of
the tile that you and Kesh put in the bathroom?
Speaker 4 (43:06):
And he immediately writes back, Sally.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
I'm wandering around to the four people, going I'm looking
for a town named Sally, and they're like, what, we
don't know this Sally tile. I'm like, and I'm like
I finally, Foke stands back and I'm like, nobody knows
who's Sally or what this Sally tile is and he
(43:30):
does his face palm on his phone and he's like,
for crying out loud, Mom, Sally is the name of
the bathroom, Kesh, and I named the bathroom. So instead
of I'm going to the bathroom, I'm gonna go see Sally.
Speaker 4 (43:46):
And I'm laughing so hard, Mom, I can't see it off.
And and Todd, my boyfriend, is just doubles over in
the file, laughing so funny, a good laugh like that.
It does.
Speaker 3 (44:02):
I mean, everybody kes Scott home and Dan has to
tell her. So she's coming down downstairs to my room
and she's like, do you want to go see Sally now?
Speaker 4 (44:13):
Oh gosh, just sterle, I love it. It decreased so
much for ye humor going.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
I mean, yes, we've got a lot of KF. But
within our loved ones and family, let's let's keep the
fun going. And when we come back, let's talk about
some constructive, productive ways to kelsey and happy during our chaos.
Speaker 4 (44:40):
We'll be right back, Okay.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
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Speaker 2 (47:02):
Radio Your Way Healthy dot net.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
Hey everyone, it's Patty and Vanessa making sense on the
Patti Conklin Show. Yeah, healthylife dot net. Visit us there
you can sit.
Speaker 4 (47:32):
And watch the podcast.
Speaker 3 (47:33):
You can also if we're doing a topic and you're
listening live and you want to ask a question, feel
free to email us and you can find that on
my email or on my website. And I don't know
about Vanessa's website.
Speaker 4 (47:51):
It's just Patty C at Pattyconklin dot com. Feel free
to email.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
Us because we checked during the show and we can
answer your question. But for ess that we're in our
last segments and I want to talk about, and I
know you want to talk about, how do we get productive?
How do we stop doing the knee jer trigger reactions
right to the chaos?
Speaker 4 (48:15):
Well, I mean, I think we must adopt healthy habits
because the body isn't separate from the mind and the spirit. Okay,
So if the body is jacked up, your ability to
think and feel and all of that is going to
be affected. I think in trying times, you know, people
(48:36):
turn to alcohol, and it is the worst thing. Alcohol
is a depressant. It makes depression and anxiety worse. So
stop the alcohol. You know, the sugar. Sugar whips people
up and then crashes them down, you know, so excess caffeine.
(48:57):
I mean, my god, you're just like clenching your teeth
and just you know, snappy. You know, those are basic
things that we control. Exercise, of course, exercise is always good.
It helps you sleep better. Yoga, you know, incorporates the
whole breathing aspect, breathing deep breathing exercises. A matter of fact,
(49:18):
there's something called nine breaths and google it and it's
a technique to breathe that helps you relax and it
really works. Getting out of nature, you know, take your
shoes off and go walk in the grass. Or I
love going to the park in springtime because of the
(49:40):
just amazing flowers, like my azalities are blooming and they're
you know, yesterday they were like barely sprouting out and
now they're like halfway bloomed. I mean, while culture is fascinating,
and I think for me, when I get out in nature,
I recognize just how insignificant I really am. I Oh,
(50:03):
you've got it. Yeah, So you know that's easy, and
that's free. All of these things are free. You don't
have to join a gym or anything. You can go
online and find yoga class. You know, you don't have
to do anything fancy, but all of these things help
have a healthy body. Deep breathing is good for you. Laster,
(50:28):
Like you said, you know, just find like there are
certain movies I love to watch because I just laugh
like the nutty professor. Oh my god. It's just like
you know, so you know, go on Netflix or whatever
paid you know, not pay for, but you know, on demand,
and you're you're a cable company. You can find, righty
(50:50):
many things that you know you just can't help laugh,
right you see him. Every time you see that movie,
you just double over and laugh and you feel so
good after you've had a good laugh, you know. And
so yeah, I mean these are free things, and these
are things that you know we should do anyway and
right and I think you.
Speaker 5 (51:10):
Know, be able to admit if you need help.
Speaker 4 (51:16):
Yeah, this online counseling. Do you can go to individual
counseling in person. You can do group counseling in person.
I guess they have group counseling online. I mean these
resources are available, right, go to your church, your minister,
you know. I mean there are resources out there that
(51:41):
you can tap into if you need help. You know,
and and I think that I just had this conversation
with a couple of friends yesterday about how it took
them like years, decades to figure out that they could
ask for help. Right, right, people want to help, yes,
(52:03):
So don't be shy, you know, you know, ask your
friends for help, ask your family. You know, if someone
says no, I can't help, you, go to the next person. Right,
but right, don't keep that in isolation. I think when
you when we withdraw, you know, whatever we can conceive
(52:25):
in our mind is usually way worse. Right, what's really
going on? Or you anticipate something that's going to be bad,
and you just whip it up in your head and
it becomes larger than life and it hasn't even occurred.
Right where you're whipped up about it. You're a shit.
Speaker 3 (52:48):
You're whipped up about it because the anxiety takes you there.
It hasn't occurred, and you don't know if it will occur.
You're just in absolute fear.
Speaker 4 (52:56):
I know some of those moments when I feel overwhelmed.
This is kind of my go to is. I love
the sound of silence by Disturbed, and I will put
it on a loop because.
Speaker 3 (53:11):
It's just the tenor of his voice, and the music
is such, it's so deep for me, and I would
put it on loop. And I realized that.
Speaker 4 (53:22):
I can process things that bothering me just by listening
to music. And yes, there's music that makes.
Speaker 3 (53:29):
Me happy and makes me jump away and a temples
in my kitchen and that's bossom.
Speaker 4 (53:35):
Oh, I gotta see that process. I know it. I
know it. I should have better about life listening up.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
I mean, you know, I'm not okay in life as
seriously as I would have out common down a little bit,
but I think that it's important that we find the tools.
And the one thing that I would really encourage for
people is you start the one on one interaction again,
(54:02):
because I think the one thing COVID did was even
those who weren't introverts became introverts. And I think the
human touch, the looking at each other to kind of
bring us back to a semblance balance is important. And
you know, the online groups are there and they're important
(54:25):
and it's important, but you know, it's getting out again,
back into a rhythm of seeing people. And I know
that's weird for me, but I think that I realized
just how important that is.
Speaker 4 (54:42):
Yes, I agree, you know, we're used to I think
so many people are texting and that's their connection, and
you miss out on sitting down with someone over a
cup of coffee and talking and reaching out and touching
their hand. That is powerful. Yeah, And and I mean
(55:03):
I meet friend zone and it's like, hey, let's just
go walk and then we're talking it the whole time.
And like tomorrow morning, I'm meeting a friend. We were
going to walk with the pollen. It's just too bad.
So we're gonna eat and have coffee and catch up,
you know. And I could send an email and says, hey,
this is what's whatever, but it's just so much more
meaningful when you're looking in that person's eye and you
(55:25):
see them smiling back at you and and all of that.
And so, you know, put the phone down. I actually
put in my phone at eight o'clock at night in
my calendar for every day and it says put the
phone down. Oh wow, So my goal is to go
put the phone on the charger and just leave it
(55:47):
there for the rest of the night. Yeah, yeah, you know,
I mean yeah, And so because it's a distraction, it
keeps you from interacting and and so you know, I mean,
I'm married, and it's like, okay, I need to put
the phone down because this is the time we have
to spend together after dinner and catch up on the
(56:08):
day or whatever, and you know, put the phone down down,
and it's that you're right, You're absolutely right that human
connection is important and get us back to what really matters,
and you know, and it's worth the effort. Yes, it's
(56:36):
not going to happen magically, right, You guys have to
call somebody or text them and say, hey, let's meet
for coffee. Yeah, let's meet up, you know, let's have
lunch or whatever.
Speaker 10 (56:48):
It is.
Speaker 3 (56:50):
My friend and I are doing a routine, you know,
grab a quick dinner, and he'll pick his phone up
and start going through Facebook, and I just gently lay
my hand over his and it reminds him to put
it down, and so no words to be spocused just
like right here, I am so, I mean, I know people,
(57:12):
thank you so much for joining us, folks, and and
I know the next three weeks are going to be
us founding with Vanessa and her guests. Make sure you
tune in and we have for one of you, and
thank you for being a part of the show.
Speaker 4 (57:29):
Thank you so much. Everybody, Stay well, stay well, absolutely
bye bye.
Speaker 1 (57:37):
You've been listening to the Patti Conklin Show on healthylife
dot net radio. To listen to it again or share
it with a friend, visit healthylife dot ned podcast on demand.
Link on our homepage and click on Patti Conklin
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