Ep 28. American Ninja II - Ninja November - The Pod of Five Rings

Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
We emotional content. I'm gonna showyou how great I am. If you
want me here, you're gonna giveus one mind. Everything we do keep
its Welcome to the Pot of FiveRings, the Martial Arts podcast where we

(00:26):
talk about martial arts, marsh Arts, movies, and all things martial arts
with your Martial Arts hosts Jose andRob Marshal Arts nailed it. Nice work.
I love it. It might beout of a job. I'm good
Man good Actually, Rob, I'mstoked. We did American Ninja last episode

(00:47):
and that movie's fun. That moviewas good and it started a series.
But American Ninja too. I haveto tell you, when I was growing
up, I had a copy ofthis on VHS and I wore it out.
I played it so many times atthe VHS like no longer funk properly.
For those of you who don't know, VHS is an old technology from
the Stone Age, way before DVDs, right way before any kind of streaming

(01:10):
services. I just want to say, I want to ask how many of
our listeners even though what a DVDis, you know, because we're getting
to that point where they're like,what's a DVD? You know, it's
all streaming now, Yeah, everythingis streaming, which was the dream,
you know what I mean? Thatwas the dream. When I was growing
up, people would say, like, in the distant future, you'll just
be able to turn on your TVand watch whatever you want to watch.

(01:32):
Like, how's that gonna work?What a stupid prediction? And here we
are. So anyway, this isAmerican Ninja too, So we're we are
going to stream this like we didthe last one, and we're gonna We're
gonna Mystery Science Theater all over thisthing because I love this movie. So
I am I'm cue up at timecode zero. Okay, So I have
to do things a little differently today. Okay, I have my TV set

(01:56):
up again. I don't have towatch on my tiny Dick Tracy watch phone.
Oh nice, but now the TVis across my room, I have
to go manually hit play. Sogive me like a five second countdown and
then everyone hit play with us.All right, here we go in five
four three two one play, roarand rare, there we go, and

(02:29):
we're off. That was perfect timing. I love it, absolutely love it.
Yeah, I don't mind doing thesepodcasts on my iPad, you know,
watching on a tiny screen. Butman, nothing nothing compares to watching
on a TV, especially a movielike this. You know. Well,
now I want to point out too, this is the top gun era.

(02:50):
So having this movie start off withguys on craw rockets was a brilliant maneuver.
It's like there's already a vibe oflike this is gonna be hip.
You know, we got we gotthe hot eighties soundtrack plane right now,
it's it's it's a high dangerous road. These guys are going way too fast.

(03:12):
But that wide shot was like thirtymiles an hour. Well, I
mean, you know, I wonderif they actually filmed this slower and then
sped it up at all, becausewhen done, when done carefully, you'd
never know. Yeah, I lovethe POV shots. It just looks like
a fun road to actually just beon. Yeah, where are they filming
this at? You know, Iactually don't know where it was filmed.

(03:34):
Oh it's on CON's Island. Okay, Oh you know what, let me
go turn on subtitles so I canread what we're doing right now, that's
not a bad idea. I'm gonnaturn mine on two. We'll put them
in English. Yeah, So thisobviously is the sequel to American Ninja one.

(03:58):
This was released in nineteen eighty seven. This picks up the story not
exactly where we left off at theend of American Ninja, but we do
know who Joe is now. Wedo know that he is quote unquote the
American Ninja. We haven't seen himin this film. Now we've got a
couple of a couple of guys ridingcrowd rockets heading down to the bar.
It's clear they're not locals, andI find it interesting that the guys that

(04:25):
are locals don't look local either.All right, voodoo does not have captions,
so really mine does, does it? Yeah, I've got it on
the web browser though. Oh yeah, I'm doing the actual Voodo app.
Let me try it again one moretime. Keep entertaining the audience. So
this this is the watch movie.This is the the classic. You know,

(04:47):
a couple of guys walk into abar, the locals don't take kindly
to them. What we're going tofind out here, of course, is
that these three guys are all militaryguys who are on leave and they're not
looking and for trouble. But ofcourse the bad guy has to come up
and be a complete jerk to thembecause we need we need a plot,

(05:08):
we need a story. And myquestion and what I wonder and and maybe
career aspirations, like how do youget this guy's job, because clearly he
works for this, you know,very secretive ninja society in some capacity,
And I just wonder how you endup in that role, Like what life
decisions you have to make to belike, I'm the guy at the bar

(05:29):
that's going to start the fight withthe Marines so that we can kidnap them.
You have to have a very specificset of skills to do that.
But like, like where where doesthat come? Like are you is it
somebody's uncle is in the ninja campand they're like, hey, we need
somebody who's not a ninja, whoyou know, can blend in. Like
that sentence in and of itself isa problem. But this guy's clearly not
a ninja, but he's very confident. I mean, he probably walks in

(05:54):
and beats up two marines. He'sninja Jason. And then they waste no
time now that the work is done, Oh there's ninjas, because they couldn't
in any way, shape or form, have done this part of the job.
They needed to hire locals man.That guy has a mono brow.

(06:17):
I believe this was filmed in SouthAfrica. Okay, take a sick.
Yeah, that makes sense. Sowe went from the Philippines South Africa.
We're getting a little globe trotting inthis franchise. I already like it.
Well, we don't know exactly wherewe are in this movie. I mean,
it's just some foreign island somewhere.Yeah, this could be the next

(06:38):
island over from where we were inthe last film. That's right, it
could be the same island. Soyou said this doesn't take place immediately after
American Ninja One, But like,do we have an estimate of how long
after it is? My guess?In my mind, my head cannon is
real time. So if American NinjaOne was eighty five, this is probably
two years later. Okay, soeighty seven. Yeah, And what you'll
find is at this point, Joeis now an Army ranger. So apparently

(07:03):
he went to ranger school between enlistingin nineteen eighty five and nineteen eighty seven.
For him, and then and andand Jackson, because they're both in
this they're making some good career movesin Yeah, and I was looking at
you know, IMBB always has greatlike trivia and goofs and stuff, and
of course all their insignias and theirmedals are on upside down and out of

(07:24):
order, and they wouldn't have beeneligible for this out of the other thing.
But I think that's that's nerdy,Like, yeah, if you're in
the military, you know that stuff. Everybody else is just like, oh,
look at the badges. Pretty Oneof my favorite pastimes on YouTube is
looking up like stolen Valor videos oryeah, real real ranger reacts, you
know where it's well, you don'tcall out the American Ninja for stolen back,

(07:46):
right. You might be like,all right, I might not be
an actual ranger, but I didin facts save an entire island full of
people once. So I would loveif I had been the military. I
would love to have a channel whereI like, I treat every single military
movie as though it was like adocumentary. I don't believe Joe is actually
arranged or you would never wear auniform like that. That's stolen Valor.

(08:13):
But what I like though, ishaving the two of them, Jackson and
Joe, come in the film togetherlike they're both arriving on scene because in
the last movie you kind of gotthe sense that Jackson had been around for
a while before Joe got there,but they were still very, very low
rank, and even in this movie, they're not what I would consider any
kind of high rank. They're stillbasically grunts, but they have some respect

(08:33):
about them after their last adventure,after they saved the known world yep,
or did they did they save theKnown World? I guess, I mean
they stopped an arms deal, iswhat they did. I guess they wouldn't
get that much recognition for the military, but probably some. I am going
to confess I haven't seen this filmbefore. Really, I've watched American Ninja

(08:58):
Won a few times, and Iwas going to watch this this morning and
I was like, you know what, we're doing a watch along podcast.
I want to experience it for thefirst time. Hey, this is how
you do it. This is theway you do it. So my question
is is Joe still on like aa daycamp from prison or is he like
pardoned Now? Well, my assumptionhere is that his behavior in the last

(09:18):
film has now is he is nolonger on that path. He is now
an American warrior. So his Imean he's like Captain America Ninja, that's
a real American dream. Then hegets sent to the military because of some
kind of conviction that he turns hislife around. Well, yeah, he
finds his place, he finds there'sa purpose for his particular skill set,

(09:41):
and now for some unknown reason,he's being assigned to this unit which is
like clearly very very lax, verylaid back. I mean, these guys
are sent to pick them up fromthe base and they're you know, driving
around with surfboards out of uniform.Have you ever listened to Jocko's podcast where
he talks about having to like disciplinehis unit because the Navy Seals where he

(10:03):
used to work with, like thejob we had to do, had to
get done. They didn't really careabout uniforms or haircuts. So we showed
up to work with the Marines andwe had like short sleeves, we had
shaggy beard, our haircuts regulated.And he's like, I had to tell
my Seals to like to shape upbecause obviously we're trying to blend in here,
and it's a big culture clash.When you're showing up in flip flops,
you know you're still doing the job, but you're also more relaxed because

(10:26):
you don't have that regulation. Butthat's an interesting thing because like your job
is to blend in, right,Like if you're a Navy seal and you're
being assigned to, you know,to some foreign nation, like your job
is to blend in there, youknow, but then you definitely don't blend
in back on the base. Butyou have to live in both worlds,
So that that's an interesting perspective.And clearly this is like some sort of

(10:48):
you know, awesome place to livewhere everybody's in good shape and bikinis and
all they do is surf all day. I just want to point out the
guy that's driving him around looks likeit looks like Biff Tanning with a die
job. This is Biff's early career. This is so come on, guys,

(11:11):
chill out. And of course,the one dude who we already know
is crooked is already being a jerkto our beloved star Joel Armstrong aka American
Ninja, which, like you haveto know who he is and what he's
done, right, Like, antagonizinghim doesn't seem like a good idea.
Well, we still don't know whythey got sent here, you know what

(11:35):
I mean, all we know isthey've been right. They have arrived,
and they don't fit in, whichis very much like the same plot from
American Ninja one, like you're here, but you're not one of us,
Like you have to earn your wayin. But this time he's got a
friend. So here we go rangers. Rangers, Yeah, rangers and soldiers.

(11:56):
We're rangers. Now we've been traininga child soldier. I mean,
yeah, he's been hanging around thebase all the time, and here we
go, wild Bill. Now hekind of explains the situation here. I'm

(12:16):
fascinated by this, this culture clashgoing on right now, just because like
you don't often see the military portrayedas this, Like that dude's wearing a
Hawaiian shirt. You know you neversee that, Yeah, yeah, especially
in a post Zack Snyder world,right, or post Transformers were Actually I
think Transformers picked off the like themilitary is always the best, even when

(12:37):
they portraded the villains. You know. So this is pretty pretty culture classy
for me. Well, and nowwe're getting some insight as to why they're
here, because this guy says,we've only got twenty marines stationed here they're
all embassy guards and they've been disappearingone two at a time. You can

(12:58):
tell he's very concerned because's playing withthe ball. Yeah, everybody in this
film ironic. This is we're talkingabout top Gun earlier. All the non
main characters look like Val Kilmer exactly. Iceman look, yeah, it's pretty
much like their Their names in thescript are like Iceman one, Iceman two,
Iceman three. Damn. Michael Dudakovhas mastered his smoulder. I could

(13:26):
say that he is. I mean, he had it down in the first
film, but he is definitely likehe's dialed it in. He went to
school for that. I'll just say. I don't want to say he's the
greatest actor of all time, buthe's definitely figured out. Like the Smolders
bold, Smolder, angrily, Smolderwith surprise, Smoulder confused, and here's
Smolder pensive. Did you ever watchany of the CW Superhero shows? Oh?

(13:50):
Yeah, of course. There's aninterview with Grant gustin the Flash where
he talks about the CW Smolder.They had to like go to a class
where they're told, we need youto have a full range of emotions,
but we need each shot we haveof you to basically be a poster.
Yeah, teenage girls can put thaton their wall. You never look ugly.
So they had to like how tohave the smolder of the holder of

(14:13):
anger you steal? So yeah,So for those of you who are following
along at home, because marines havebeen disappearing, they sent in two rangers
to investigate, which I don't thinkis protocol by any means. But we
also don't know exactly where Jackson andJoe have been at this point, but

(14:37):
they they're they're probably on some kindof you know, top secret squad.
As as we always say, it'sthe story you don't tell. Of course,
we know that these two guys arelike badass, you know, and
Joe is an American ninja. Ofcourse nobody else does so once again as
a true ninja blending in by notblending in, and now he's blending in

(14:58):
by blending in. They get togo, you know, swimming with these
guys. I like how Joe hasthe Cobra Kai wet suit on wall the
wall babes, but you're married,that's how you know he's a bad guy.

(15:18):
M hm. I'm just gonna drivearound the island for a while.
This would be great. I seesome babes maybe fall asleep. Did this

(15:39):
film get a theatrical release? Believeso? I was gonna say, because
you could tell they definitely up thebudget just having the ability to like put
a camera on a boat and drivearound an island. They couldn't have afforded
that for the last film you know, well exactly, and this was what
Canon Film Group. They didn't havea lot of releases. I don't think
it was a company that was aroundfor a long time. And my understanding

(16:00):
from the production side is like halfwaythrough the shoot they cut the budget immensely,
so I think the company wasn't doingwell. Now. The good news
is as a director, this kindof film doesn't require a huge budget.
If you're already on scene and you'vealready got your equipment, it's like,
well, well, just go outand do what we can do. Yeah,

(16:21):
what are they gonna do Once you'realready set up there, It's like
the big expense has already sort ofbeen covered. If the people are willing
to work, you work them right. And it's also one of those things
like that's the benefit of filming somewherelike South Africa, which I have to
imagine in the eighties isn't super expensiveto film that mm hmm, and not
just like getting location, but alsohousing and feeding your actors right right well,

(16:41):
And and then you got a wondertoo if you're filming outside of Hollywood,
like maybe you're not bound by unionrules and that can bring your costs
down extensively. Or if you arebound by union rules, you're also in
South Africa, so yeah, youknow there they might not have the highest
watch on you at all times.Exactly here we know that that one dude

(17:03):
is suspicious, and Jackson is lookingsuspicious. Joe's like, it doesn't matter
if anything bad happens. I'm agoddamn ninja. Do you think he showed
Joe any ninjasu? Because I knowJoe eventually becomes the American Ninja, but
at this point Jackson Jackson, Yeah, sorry, Jacksons becomes the American Ninja.
But does does he already know something? You're gonna have to wait and

(17:27):
see. I want to find out, now, a Taylor, I'm gonna
look around. That's his first ninjamove right there. He used ninjitsu to
jump in. Did you see howhe landed all sneakily. That's very much
a Ninja move. See you're joking, but that is also how I jump

(17:48):
into and out of places. AndI love how that wire is just hanging
down there. He's like, Okay, this guy trapped us here for a
reason. Super, I'm gonna lookaround, look for clues. The harder
boys are on it all right,they're out of sight. There's some big

(18:11):
rocks here. It looks like agreat place to stage like a massive assault.
Now, guys, when we breakout from behind the rocks to attack
this guy, I will run withmy hands out to my sides because it'll
look way more intimidating. Make surenobody brings guns that would ruin the film.

(18:36):
There are some There are some maneuversin this sequence which are some of
my absolute favorite in film. Ever. This is the very definition of teamwork.
Boy. I hope nobody attacks mefrom above. Idiot. Oh man,

(18:56):
what was that? There was anaction figure line that came out in
like the late ninetieses like Jackson orJackson something like that. That's what Joe
looks like right now. Yeah,yeah, he's straight. It looks like
an action figure, especially fighting Ninja'slike it's like an eight year old is
wet dream. I've never been ableto figure out how he killed that one
guy though he like did the spockpinch on the neck. I love the

(19:21):
the hand gestures he's got just idly. The one dude just watching from afar,
He's like, I see you,now watch this. This is amazing.
How do you get the whole teamup a near vertical surface quickly if
you're ever, if you're ever doinglike you know, one of those mud
runs, like this is the strategyyou need. It's freaking brilliant. I

(19:45):
love that. That is teamwork.That is like we all know exactly what
needs to happen here, we justmake it happen. That's amazing. That's
the kind of formation I love aboutninja films because everyone has the special Forces
scene like that. Yeah, itseems like Ninja movies have that perfect like
the Ninja Human Pyramid. Yes,yes, where they just they work like

(20:07):
ants. Yeah, you know,no dialogue, no tellt no, like
guys planning sixty four. They justknow yeah, because they've done it a
billion times. I do have tosay, we made a whole speech about
being able to blend into your environmentand wearing all black robes while you're fighting
on a beach, not super sneaky. Well, and they don't they don't
look like it's the worst outfit towear on an island. I mean that

(20:27):
looks warm. And in this filmit isn't just the black pajamas, but
they have like the tops, likethe gee vest, the vest, and
they just look hot. Now I'mwondering from a stunt perspective, they might
be padded, you know what Imean. So it might be good as
a stunt performer to have some littlesofter to land on. And the ninja
outfits are good, fact, becauseyou can have on elbow pads and knee

(20:47):
pads and even like a rib guard, and nobody's gonna even think about it
when guys are doing like you wouldn'tsee guys doing those stunts with no shirts
on, like maybe in Hong Kong, but no sane person would choose to
do that. Now, I dowant to point out here he just grabbed
the gaffing hook and he's like,I'm going to run off into near certain
danger with no shoes on. Lookat that. Look at that. Somebody's

(21:11):
been training. Okay, I'm readyfor him to take the mantle. This
is like Joseph Gordon Levitt taking overfor Christian Bale at the end of Dark
Night Rises. Yeah, yeah,but better because we actually get to see
it happen. Yep. I alsoto say Jackson looks shredded in this film.
Yeah he's. Yeah, he's notonly been training, he's been lifting.

(21:33):
Yeah, yeah he is. Idare say I would. I would
compare him side by side with AmericanNinja one. He's put on quite a
bit of mass. Yeah, he'sprobably joined the latter app. I would
definitely. I can either confirm nordeny, but especially for like a nineteen
eighties film like he is, he'sbig, and he's like lean, yeah,

(21:57):
and what like what we used tothink of is jack back then?
I mean Arnold Schwarzenegger definitely had animpact on the industry, but most people
weren't trying to attain that. Yeah, but he's definitely a lot leaner than
you normally see. I think oftwo body types, I mean three body
types. I guess pre Brad PittFight Club, which is the Schwarzenegger big

(22:18):
yep and defined like big, definedbut big, right, And then there's
the Bruce Lee small and shredded yep. And in the middle there was the
Kurt Russell kind of like beefy,not like super lean world definition, just
like you could tell that was amuscular man, and that kind of just
seemed like the male physique in films. You were one of those three mm

(22:40):
hmm until Brad Pitt came along andbeing having every single striration, every single
muscle defined became like the thing.Well yeah, and everybody wanted to top
that until you come out with freakingWolverine and Hugh Jackman is just like inhuman
but even him through through the XMen films just got and leaner and more

(23:00):
and more shredded. Well, hehas that shirtless scene in the beginning of
X Men one where he just lookslike a guy who works out every once
in a while. Yeah, Butby the time we get to Wolverine,
like though, Wolverine, he's justmuscle. Yeah, there's yeah, there's
nothing left. And this is whyninjas are the ultimate form of body positivity,

(23:22):
because they cover themselves from head totoe, so you don't know what
you would look like under that.That's right, you never know what you're
up again, it could be likea lean scrappy guy could be real muscular,
hard to tell. So apparently Jacksonhere the actor doesn't know how to
swim. That makes two of us. I was reading about that too.

(23:45):
On that scene and that sequence issupposed to be jumping into the water there,
and then they were gonna cut tothem jumping into the boat and right
before like as they were like andaction, He's like, uh, Michael,
I don't know how to swim,and due to Cough's like cut.
So they brought the stuntman over andthe stuntman's like it don't do no good.
I don't know how to swim either. The stunt to swim and didn't

(24:08):
know how to swim. So DodaKof was like, all right, here's
what's gonna happen. We're gonna jumpand I will immediately pull you to the
surface, and that's how they shotit. It's a good dude. I
feel like you could, you know, spend a week teaching them how to
swim. But whatever, Hey,time is money, That's true. I
guess in a film like this,in order to cut costs, it also
cuts time. And again it's it'srisk for his reward. Yeah, even

(24:33):
in my most recent film project.I mean, there was some sketchy stuff
that we had to do, butit was just like, you know what,
we're not we're not bound by rulesthat say we can't do it this
way. If you're willing to takethe risk, if you're willing to take
that fall, awesome. I myselfam not a not a super strong swimmer.
And I remember filming a show ona river back in the day and

(24:55):
we were supposed to be filming likea tubing thing. So our host were
supposed to be on in inner tubesmack and beer, and the camera was
attached to a third in or twoand they're supposed to float down and we'd
meet them at the end, youknow, And we were gonna have me
and the camera guy and two tubesnext to him, just kind of monitoring
make sure things going well. Well, the water pressure at this point is
too low, so we get inthe water and we kind of just sit
there and so we're like, whatare we gonna do? And I go,

(25:17):
well, I'll just get in thewater and I'll push us the whole
way, you know, I'll justswim. And the director goes, can
you swim? I go no,But that's what we have the tubes for
so as long as I hold onto him, I'll be fine. And
they go, what happens if youlet? Oh? Well, I can't
say. It's a tangible metaphor formy career. All right. Back to

(25:41):
plot central. Of course, wildBill is gonna have to alert the embassy
that there is a ninja squad onthe island that's behind the kidnappings. But
Joe and arm Joe and Jackson,Joe, Jackson and Jackson, they convince
him to give him a week,give us a week and get to the
bottom of this. But you can'ttell the ambassador for some reason. I

(26:04):
mean, what do you say?What's the ninja protocol? Like, Hey,
we got a we got a situationthirty four c yep, nz inja
again? Why does this always happen? Everywhere we send Joe Armstrong, ninjas
apparently appear. No, we don'tsend them in because of ninjas. He

(26:26):
finds them. There weren't any ninjasuntil he got here. It's Taylor,
need your help. Oh you're gonnaset me up again. Meet me there
tomorrow fifteen hundred something. Fishy isgoing on, and I need somebody who

(26:47):
knows how to fight. Somebody knowsthat to fish. I like that Joe
has little flowers on his pillow inbed. I know this is a tropical
paradise. You know, we knowthis bar from the opening sequence is that
you're gonna say from from the Kickboxer. Yeah, that happened earlier this day,

(27:11):
this place has a rough reputation.Came in and started dancing earlier.
Oh the door is closed. Iwonder. I wonder if I could use
my ninja skills somehow in my bluejeans that are tucked into my boots.
That's a horrible look. Hey,Dudakov pulls it off, got the collar

(27:33):
popped and everything. Look at that. I wonder if he had the same
deal on this that Sean Patrick Fineryhas on his films. We're like,
hey, if I wear it,I get to keep it. Probably It's
like, what did you pack forthe trip? Go put that on.
I got lots and lots of denim. Here's our bad guys. It's like,

(27:56):
oh more people for me to beatup. Man with that collar popped.
He is definitely a James Dean lookalike. There's a reason he's wearing
all denim. Yeah, slow atJudah throw of all time. You know,
he's come a long way since AmericanNinja won them. Some of these
are much better moves. Yeah,he's a broken dude's arm and then throw

(28:18):
them Yeah, well reverse throw anotherbreak, which I like that break.
By the way, this is definitelydue to coffee. Like, hey,
I have actually been training. Let'slike, uh huh do more than karate
chops this time around? Well,I like, the front door is locked,
so he goes around the side door. These guys try to stop him.
He has to break a couple ofarms to get in and on the
inside, what's happening just business asusual. We always lock the door during

(28:42):
business hours. I mean, hey, look how badly you want to get
in there? Now? This iswhat it takes. Now when they tell
you it's like eight bucks a drink, you're well, I did have to
commit manslaughter to get in here,So I guess I get it. The
plot thickens. I gotta take hiscoat off. It's getting warm in there,

(29:06):
hey, papaye, Yeah right,And maybe guys, I am a
little skeptical of Joe's judgment for nottaking Jackson with him or telling Jackson where
he is. Well, we don'tknow that he didn't you know what I
mean. Yeah, he just said, anybody know you're here, only Jackson.

(29:27):
I just don't trust mana bro.This is where he explains it.
Oh wait, hold on, Ican't Now they know that I've summoned you
here. They're going to try tokill you and me. But we know
that he has plot information and theseguys are the obstacle in the way of

(29:47):
moving the plot forward. In thisway, the bad Guys represents resistance to
Joe's mission of finding the truth.Now the first film, his whole character
is like trying to remember who heis. We haven't established a character arc
in this film. We know thathe knows who he is, and he's

(30:08):
obviously a lot more of who he'ssupposed to be in this film than he
was in the last film. It'sa beautiful flying sidekick and that is a
horribly hinged on door. Yeah.So I just want to point out one
guy was holding a wine bottle likehe was gonna smack Joe with it,

(30:29):
and then he saw a flying sidekickand was like, nope, yep,
none of that. Out did notsign up for flying sidekicks. He had
to walk him all the way acrossthe room to slam him into the other
wall. I never understand that inthese films where like you're threatening somebody and
you have them pinned against one side. Let me walk you to the other

(30:51):
side, or maybe it'll change yourmind. Honestly, I mean if he
threw me up against the wall,was holding me like that? Like I
just I'm lost in your eyes,Joe, I just like you are just
a handsome individual. I just lookat that smaller that's concerns smolder. I'm
hearing you, and I'm understanding you, and you'll find compassion. But you're

(31:12):
about to get killed. Did youhear something out the window? I better
go take a look. These guysneed to watch more movies. You never
give information next to it exposed.So we got them with the plunger.
The ninja knows you step to theside of the window. That the ninja

(31:34):
are just the army training. Ye, no regular army man would climb out
the window. I kind of wantto point out, like talking about Joe
figuring out his backstory while still alsobeing like the greatest CIA operative or whatever
operative he is right now, it'skind of a proto Jason Bourne. Yes,

(31:56):
yeah, like this maybe does thisis what like started that whole program,
right, Yeah, maybe he maybehe started the program looking for new
recruits. I like this, headKennon, Yeah, this is good.
That's why he wasn't available for AmericanNinja three because he was off starting Treadstone.
Yeah, they keep trying to donew things with the Born franchise.

(32:21):
I think we should just do atie in with American Ninja. Get back,
Be brave, be bold. Soof course they don't believe Joe right
now. Well, and and youknow people are protected by you know,
diplomatic community. Leave the weapon twojust been revoked. One of my favorite

(32:43):
lines. It's all crack the neck, take the shot. So this is
just some island nation, right,There's no they haven't specifically told us where
we're at right now. I don'tthink so. I don't think they've even
named the place. It's whatever thename he just he just said what it
was black something island. But it'snot like they're not in South Africa.

(33:06):
I mean, we know, weknow that that's where they are, right.
This is really beginning to get onmy tits. Yeah, that's what
he said. That's an eighties thing. We say that all the time.
You were probably way too young.Not even that's how young I was.
I mean, I've heard this isthe tits in like a good thing,

(33:28):
But I've never heard this is gettingon my tits at least, you know,
not in that context, you know, to be honest, I've never
heard that anywhere else either. Iwonder how that guy's got that music.
Stand precariously close to the edge ofthat dude as a person, he used
to play a brass instrument. I'mvery scared by how close they are to
the pool. It's like, whydoes the band sound nervous because they're five

(33:52):
thousand dollars instruments are right next tothe water. It's it's good for the
brass to get it fully immersed inchlorinated water. All right, dress blues,
they have borrowed these uniforms. Clearly, are they going to get called
out for wearing something the wrong way? Only only in the internet comments?

(34:16):
What the Internet says you're doing somethingwrong? Oh I got I got under
my director's skin so bad with thatcomment. Every time we would take a
short cut or like make a littleconcession to do it this way versus that
way, I would just under mybreath. I would be like, I
can hear the internet comments already.Listen, we've talked about this before.

(34:38):
I don't care if you like mycontent or hate it, just comments on
it. Yeah, that's good forme. There's no such thing as bad
publicity, you know how I livein twenty twenty one. I'm looking at
all these people walking around. I'mlike, I'm not a mask to be
seen. I know, right,They're just like they're just breathing on each

(34:59):
other, so dangerous. Here's Jacksonputting the moves on people until he's the
suave, confident type. Yeah,Joe is the quiet, stoic, smoldery
type. I do like that theygot Jackson back for this film, because
you definitely need someone who who's gotsome character to act next to him.

(35:21):
Mm hmm. It's a good blendbecause you don't want to water down the
character of the American Ninja. Youknow, he is stoic, Yeah,
but you also have to like humanizehim somehow. So having somebody near him
who is like the polar opposite justbalances it out. Jackson doesn't seem too
overdone because he's standing next to Joe, and Joe doesn't seem too smoldery.

(35:43):
Because he's standing next to Jackson.So like it all kind of works out.
It's like the average was the classiclethal weapon pairing. Yes, you
know, opposite the track m hAnd again, if you've seen American Ninja
one, which this is American Ninjatwo, so it sort of presumes that
you have, like you understand whythey respect each other, and it was
from that fight in the yard inAmerica Ninja Wan Jackson was like, you

(36:05):
know what, I'm gonna put youin your place, and he ended up
getting put in his place and he'slike, all right, I respect that.
And then you know, seeing eachother's character when they're under pressure,
obviously that creates that that war buddybond. And then of course fight Ninja's
is another level altogether. Mm hmm. It's a different set of skills.
This is nine ninety seven. We'renot actively in a war at this point,

(36:28):
are we No, So this isprobably the most action of these two
guys are gonna get for their militarycareer doing missions like this. Who was
the first goal for ninety one?Yeah, they're probably still in the military
at this point. Yeah, Iwould imagine. But let's say Jackson's been
been in there for about four orfive years at this point. Joe's been
in now two or three, wecan assume probably not that much different.

(36:52):
Yeah, I mean I can't imagine, like if Jackson was in a full
year before Joe ever showed up,would be a lot higher ranked. But
they're pretty equal right now. Yeah, But I was just kind of thinking
to myself, gosh, we haven'thad like the female character to this duo

(37:14):
enter the film. And they doit roughly right here. It's just like
she just jumps the fence, walksin, slaps the bad guy in the
face, and then of course theydrag her off into a car and they
decide they need to go rescue her. You should probably do something about that,
like why she could just be somepsycho you don't know, there's no
context. Well, she's the onlywoman we've met on this island. Yeah,

(37:35):
except for that one gypsy lady whowas screaming at me earlier. Yeah,
yeah, the only one who wasn'tclearly an extradit that seemed different than
what the other women we've seen do. We should follow her. She might
actually have like a personality and likea character name and the credits. Listen,

(37:59):
here's what I know about women.They either walk around in the background
while I'm doing something, or they'renagging me. And if they're nagging me,
I should follow them, or theyjust scream. They scream while I
do cool shit. Wasn't he datingthe general's daughter in the last one though?
Yeah? But clearly military relationships can'tlast, that's true. I just

(38:22):
love this. It's like, Okay, so I'm a rich bad guy,
all right, Maybe I'm doing armsdeals, drugs, what have you.
And I've got my ninja army thatnobody knows about, and I'm kidnapping marines
to do I don't know whatever withthem. H And this girl jumps the
fence, runs up to me,slaps me in the face. So I
just nod to my head of security, and he just knows that he's supposed

(38:44):
to take this girl back to thesame frickin' bar where everything bad this town
happens and take her up into aroom, and like, I what what
is their playing here? What arethey going to do to this girl mak
her disappear? They couldn't have justkilled her in the back of the car.
They couldn't have thrown on your bodyin a ditch somewhere I like with
the broken hand, it still hasto fight, Joe. I know it's

(39:07):
you never learn. It's like,well, we don't have disability on this
island. So last time you gotlucky with that flying sidekick that knocked me
out. I went to my thirdkarate class and they taught me how to
counter it. Sense says, takea step left or right, just backhands

(39:30):
that guy, dismissively, get outof here. Waste my time now.
One thing they do right in thisthis genre of film, I wouldn't just
say this film. I think thisfilm nails it. But a lot of
films like this where the main characteris a martial artist, is they draw
a very strong line between somebody whoknows how to fight and somebody who might

(39:50):
be a good fighter but doesn't knowhow to fight. So in this case,
they're a marine buddy. Here hemanages to take out a couple of
guys, but it's all punches andhaymakers, you know what I mean.
It looks slow, it looks clunky, even though it's still basically effective.
For Joe. It's like everybody's upagainst it's just one or two moves away
from being dead. Anyway. Yeah, well, it's what Apollo Creed said

(40:12):
to Rocky at the end of Rockythree, Right, you fight good,
I'm a good fighter. Yeah,Yeah, that's Joe's a good fighter.
Yes, so it's Jackson. Yeah. And Jackson's already ripped the sleeves off
his jacket and cannot hold on.I'd love the scene for that, And
I love the fact that they alljump him and he's like under the pile
of people and he's still owning them, and the random girl's throwing beer bottles.

(40:38):
Hey, that dude through a cruscentkick. How does he know how
to fight? Well, it didn'tdo him that much good because crescent kicks
are worse than hook kicks. Thisis how you know Jackson's a badass,
because he just takes punching. Dude, anybody who smiles after you punch them
atom. I love that too,because it's like, oh, we didn't

(41:02):
get a chance to break the table. Oh good thing weak the table.
We needed that for the next stunt. Jackson is just having fun. Yeah.
I took a took a seminar classone time where they talked about two
on one fights like that, andthat was one of the moves we learned

(41:24):
like, if someone's got both,if two people have your arms side to
side, you could just do abackflip to get out of that grab.
And I was like, oh,of course, yeah, why not.
Technically you're right. Just the theoverall tone of this film, like the
plot exists. It's a little bitridiculous, but it exists. It's enough

(41:45):
to kind of keep driving it forward. Like I said, there's there,
there is like some sense of amystery being solved. There's some sense of
Joe trying to piece this together.What's going on here. We're getting little
bits and pieces at a time.You know, one scene sort of opens
the door to the next scene,and all this resistance that comes in,
which so far in this film ispretty much just like bad guys show up
and they literally resist. But everytime they get to the end of that,

(42:07):
there's that one other piece of informationthat drives this plot forward. But
they do it with a smile,they do it with good like actually good
fight choreography. It's creative, especiallyfor the time period. Joe looks a
hundred times better in this film thanhe did in the first one, and
he never looked bad in the firstone. Jackson is amazing, and he's
laughing and he's having fun and there'slike just a sense of playfulness about this

(42:30):
whole thing for them. They're seriousabout their work, but they're also having
fun with it. Yeah, there'sdefinitely a lighter I don't want to say
lighter tone, but more like moreplayful tone, like you were saying to
this film, because all the fightsin the last one they were trying to
go for like serious. Yes,you know there was there could have been
consequences to each fight, whereas nowlike, yeah, Joe's laughing that one
girl lightly hit the marine in thehead with the bottle and he kind of

(42:52):
just laughed it off. Yeah,I think they realize, like, hey,
let's just lean into the ridiculousness ofwhat we're doing, and that let
the audience know that we know we'rebeing crazy at these guys just stripping his
card out. Jesus. They gota lot done too in the four minutes
that those guys have been gone.I can't imagine you get a lot of

(43:14):
money for a bumper or a fender. You know, hey man, this
island nation. I don't know,this actually nation looks pretty wealthy. But
yeah, I mean, guys guysare running around in suits. There's some
nice cars. There's definitely some moneyhere. Well maybe it's one of those
things where it's like you're either superrich or super poor, and selling the
bumper for ten bucks could mean alot. This is a great secret,

(43:37):
so I got You're right? Ishere it's better with the half sleeve ripped
off than the whole sleeve, right, Yeah, Well, he didn't want
to come in like completely just showingthe uniform. He's like, this could
be repaired personally. I think I'veimproved the formal wear. But I'll let

(44:00):
you beat the judge of that.And I love that youre a disgrace to
the Corey's like, and they ruinedour uniforms. He's dead, Jim,
They got him disappeared a I don'tunderstand. I mean, Joe's asking for

(44:24):
a lot of luck for them tonot check the open windowed back seat that
he's hiding in right now, youknow, but also in like typical ninja
fashion, like that would be agood place to hide, because it seems
like it's so visible, you knowwhat I mean, nobody could have been
hiding and there wasn't even a dooron the car. That's what that is.

(44:44):
I mean, that's one thing thatI was taught because I used to
take ninjitsu, and that's one thingthey talked about when they were teaching,
like concealment and stuff. It's like, hey, if you don't believe you're
being seen, you are not beingseen. The human eye sees what it
wants to see and see. Itlooks for things that are out of place.
So if you're being sketchy and like, oh my god, I'm about
to get caught, then yeah,you're gonna get caught. If you just
play it cool, you know,let things move around you as they're going

(45:07):
to move around you. No one'sgonna know that. Being said, I
still probably wouldn't risk hiding in thebackseat of a car while wearing like a
bright blue and red formal wear MarineCorps. But you know, night work
worked for Joe. I wonder aboutyour logic there, though, because I
know I snuck upstairs while my kidsare playing and they heard me coming up

(45:28):
the steps, and I could hearmy daughter say hi, and she scrambles
into the closet, and my soncovers his eyes and puts his head down
on the ground right in the middleof the room that was his. He
believed that I could not see himso well. But did you find him
immediately locked in? I said,Max, that is a pretty bad hiding

(45:50):
place. Buddy, you gotta yougotta do better. Oh we got leather
jacket, Joe. Now, Oh, things are getting more serious, leaning
more into the James Dean. Look. Yep, he's just slowly turning into
James Dean. This is like Bruceploitation, but Dean's ploitation. It is,

(46:12):
it very much is. But Imean again for Michael Dudicos, like
the look works like that. It'sfine. What is the name of the
actor from Never Back Down? Lookit up? I am looking up.
It's like Sean something. Uh,Sean Ferris, Jean Ferris. He's the

(46:37):
star of the film Never Back Down. And he kind of has the same
thing with Tom Cruise that Michael Dudakovhas with with James Dean right now,
where he looked a lot like TomCruise at a young age. We kind
of got like Tom Cruise look alikeroles for a while. Yep, yep.
Like that's a viable role niche inthe film industry. You like,

(46:58):
you look close enough to this bigactor that we couldn't it or that we
would would love to have in thisrole. Twenty years, I think people
got to recognize like the cost ofa guy like Tom Cruise. I mean
when you when you do the math, it's hundreds of thousands of dollars per
hour, yeah, versus a guywho kind of looks like him for basically
free. When you're on a lowbudget, you just you get what you

(47:20):
can afford. Yeah. This,I mean this film came out before like
The Bargain Bind Walmart DVDs. Yeah, craze, but definitely there's a whole
genre of films that were made withnames, slash settings, slash actors that
look close enough to the big thing. So where when you go to Walmart,
you see like, oh, thisis a mission unbelievable, all right,

(47:43):
yeah, close enough to what Iwant to buy, Mission mission nearly
possible, right, exactly, askimpossible? Starring John Cruise. Good enough
for me, John Claude Cruise.Now I'm not saying American Ninja is that

(48:04):
quality, you know, because they'reclearly going for their own thing here.
But listen to me again. Thetone of the film tells you like it's
a filmmaker's film. This is afilm of guys that wanted to make a
movie, found a way to makeit work, you know what I mean.
Wanted to have good fight choreography,wanted to do trick photography where the
ninja star is already in the doorbehind him and here we go dart to

(48:27):
the hand. Remember that from thefirst movie when they throw that shoot the
arrow and he catches it with ashovel handle. That was the homage right
there. It's the same exact setup, but he didn't have a shovel,
so he has to take that dartto the hand. It would have been
cool if he just like grabbed itwith his index and thumb. Yeah.
I just want to point out MichaelDudakov just basically did jiu jitsu on that

(48:51):
other ninja. Yes, yes,it's that one guy on fire. Holy
shit. Also, these are terribleninjas. Yeah, I mean they're bad,
everyone can see them. But it'sa constant thing in this film of
like, Okay, we attacked himwith arrows that didn't work. We attacked
him with swords that didn't work.Now we tried the overhand dagger technique that
didn't work. This guy shows upwith the freakin' what are those tonfuzz Those

(49:16):
clearly didn't work. The dart thingdidn't work. So they're just gonna keep
trying to hit more obscure weapons untilthey find the one that he doesn't.
You know, isn't the master ofHey boss, I bought this nine millimeters
yesterday. That'll never work. Thedude can dodge arrows. There's no way
a gun could work this dude.He's His defining feature is that he has

(49:38):
a scarred eye. And yet that'sthe literally the only part of him that
you can see when he's in hisninja uniform. It like draws the attention
to his scarred eye. I meanthat's the trope with the ninjas in this
film franchise anyway, because Blackstar Ninjahad the star tattoo on his cheek and
you could see it. I willsay, however, this group of ninjas

(49:59):
is smart enough wear their mask abovethe nose. Yes, And I'm going
to point I want to point outright now, every Ninja that we've seen
has no insignias on their uniform.It is just black dude. That car
has a shag all over it,well in the shocks, looking like he's
bouncing up and down in that seat. But only he is he noticed that.

(50:22):
Yes, he could have just literallyturned around, but he had to
whip a you he like that instead. And he's been on this island now
for two days. And she's justlike, oh it makes a pine point.
Oh yeah, I know where thatis. There's a great amount onto
the truck. Dude. That wasa bad ass flip. Yeah, he

(50:45):
just bit that dude's arm. Yeah, and he's already got his grappling hook.
These ninjas are very good at theirjob. They're tenacious. In this
film, they're just they're relentless oftrying to kill this guy. Not much
that they would carry a gun oranything, but you know they're trying,

(51:06):
all right. So this isn't filmedin Hong Kong. Is that a mannequin
in an inja suit? Or arethey just dragging a guy out there?
They are just dragging a guy alongthe road now, to be fair,
Also, the rules were a littlelooser in the eighties. There weren't as
many well established guidelines. Hey,boss, do you think it would be

(51:27):
okay if we drag one of ourstunt performers down the street for like a
good twenty thirty minutes as we drivedown the road. Don't worry, he'll
have pads on. Will there beanything separating him from the ground. No.
I wonder how beat up this guygot shooting this sequence, because that
looks rough. This is a longsequence and they didn't do it in one
take, you know. No,Yeah, there was Jackie Chanda's a similar

(51:50):
stunt where he is dragged along bya car and has to run on the
street. And he said his feetwere like destroyed afterwards, and that was
running, you know, Yeah,he just had to pedal his feet.
Basically, this guy's being dragged Andalso tip for Jackson, this guy's uniform
is not torn at all. Right, he's respecting after having been dragged down

(52:12):
the street. But of all theninjas in this movie, this guy right
here like respect. This guy deservesa promotion. Oh my god, she
jumped out. I don't think shemeant to hit that knoll and play just
stopped boof. She was expecting toroll, So she's like, I just
broke my collar bone. Holy crap. I just want to point out that

(52:36):
a real ninja on the hood ofthe car turned into like a muppet as
it flew into the fire. Well, we exploded a man today. Let's
go get some lunch. Black BeardIsland, that's where they're going. Okay,

(53:00):
is this before or after Temple ofDoom? Let's look it up because
that's definitely a short round analog they'regoing for right there. Oh yeah,
for real, I'm gonna guess.Yeah. Temple of Doom was eighty four.
Oh yeah, guys, American Ninjawas great. But you know what,
we need short round. But see, I love this kind of writing

(53:22):
where it's like, we need atrope, we need a character in here.
Who do we got? How aboutshort round? Okay, we'll just
call him something different. Yeah,but you know who they had in their
mind as they were writing the script. He did really well, So let's
get that in here now. Yeah, we need a tender moment. And
you can tell because like the lenseschanged all of a sudden, there's like

(53:43):
a warm glow on them. Yeah, he's escaped. The man's inhuman.
What about that ninja we sent afterhim? Holy cow, that dude deserved
a raise. Yeah he got blowedup. Well good, I wasn't really
gonna I was lying. It lookslike I get a bonus. Then capitalism

(54:09):
that is the benefit of staffing yourarmy with ninja's as opposed to like any
other form of goon. They're adime a dozen. Yeah. Well,
and in this film, I meanthey literally are. He's basically factory producing
them, which we haven't gotten toyet, but that is sort of the
plot spoilers, sorry to ruin itfor you, petic modifications. When did

(54:34):
ninjas fall out of favor as asthugs, as thugs, as villains,
as heroes, even because they usedto be all over movies? That's true,
and now it seems like it's likea no no word. Yeah,
if you don't call things, evenif someone shows up with like a black
mask and a katana, you don'tcall them a ninja. Well, it
was, it was It was bravefor Chris no Olan to do that with

(54:54):
the Dark Knight series. Is thathe like, basically he was a ninja.
They never called him that, youknow what I mean. It was
like, you know, raz ElGhul was basically the leader of a band
of ninjas that he fell into,but they didn't want to They didn't want
to say that. Yeah, andI'd say that in a world where what
is it the snake eyes movie justcame out m hm, and no one
watched it. Yeah, because peopleare like ninjas. Ugh. Yeah,

(55:17):
But like there used to be atime when if you put ninja anything in
a title, people I'm in.That's what I want. So now we
we we talked about this offline,but you need to be the change that
you want to see in the world. We need to start a Ninja school
again so that we can have appropriatebad guys. Because when we have appropriate

(55:37):
bad guys, then good guys willrise up. And the world needs good
guys. So if we want goodguys, we can't be good guys because
there's no ninjas. Then we needto produce the ninjas so that we can
get the good guys. And thisis how Rozell started the league. I
just it makes sense to me.Without without ninjas, there is no Batman.

(55:57):
Do you understand that the world needsBatman? Right now? This is
my calling, Rob, This iswhy I have watched American Ninja two at
least twelve dozen times. I personallyam sad that we're nearing the end of
COVID again because I loved training,especially my kids classes, wearing the full
GI and my mask because like whenI look in the mirror and see us
all lined up. It was likestraight up ninja class, Ninja school.

(56:20):
Here we go. And so whenthe parents tell me, like, hey,
I'm a little worried about an outbreak, I'm like, I'll put the
mask back on. Don't worry aboutit. I will do whatever it takes
to make you guys comfortable and notat all feel like I'm teaching ninjas.
We're gonna we have a mask requirementsfor this school, Like, oh now
my freedom. No, no,no, it's this and it's a ninja
mask. Yeah, like, oh, we're into that. Has anybody considered

(56:43):
just doing that? I mean,I I've worn like the buckalava the I
have. I have one of those. It's like the biker mask with the
draw string on it. It's justlike the cloth that hangs down to keep
the dust out of your face withthe skull print on it. Like I
like wearing that around. It's likekind of bad, it kind of scarce
children, but good. I meanthat is like, you know one of

(57:07):
my things. I really like thelion shuriken. Right, it's pretty cool,
Like they did good with this.But again, just like the last
film, there's different colors of ninja's. Here, you got the red ninjas
and the black ninjas. Do youthink they have the same hierarchy in this

(57:28):
one? I don't think so.I don't remember there being red or green
ninjas in this movie. Maybe they'rejust you know, it's a higher class
level. Yeah. Also black ninjaon the on the left looked a lot
like a discount Pedro Pascal. Yes, yeah, maybe it could. I've
been watching The Mandalorian. But likein the Armor, I'm like, huh,

(57:51):
how would you like that You've beentraining your ass off if you're like
this ninja assassin and you got thisrich dude talking about how obedient you are.
Also, notice what the guards ofthe doors have machine guns? Uh
huh? Now, I also wantto point out here they all have insignias
on their uniforms. I like thattouch. It's like we have our assault

(58:14):
uniforms and we have our demonstration uniforms. I like how they also just throw
buckets sand Yep. It's a keycomponent of ninjitsu. If I was mister
white Suit showing my potential investors myninja army, I would just take them
to an empty room and they arewhere are the ninjas all around us.

(58:36):
This is what I'm saying, AmericanNinja Warrior is not American Ninja Worry.
The best American Ninja Warrior episode wouldbe where they introduce a guy and then
all the lights go off and tenseconds later the lights go on, all
the judges are dead and the moneyis missing, and I would be like
and I would be like that dude, Yeah, that dude wins Ninja of

(58:59):
Forever a word. And so Iagree with you that you don't. I've
always thought this, even as akid six years old watching this freaking movie
or whatever, I'm like, thisis stupid. They have these guys down
here showing off how bad ass theyare, and then they just have this
regular guy go down there and startkilling them by the dozen, and that's
like, this is the demonstration asto why these guys are so good.

(59:21):
And it's like, well, no, I don't want these guys. They
got they got their ass. CareI want that dude. Yeah. I
also just want to point out they'redoing this demonstration in masks. Yeah.
So, as someone who had tohave a lot of conversations about like,
yes, you can still breathe inthe mask, You're not gonna die because
your air is slightly restricted. WatchAmerican Ninja too. They're training it right
now. It's fine. Ninja's drivingaround in jeeps with machine guns. It's

(59:47):
very inconsistent what the rules are forthem here. Yeah, either you're a
sword ninja, a sword and tonfa ninja, or you're a machine gun
ninja. But you can't be both. Reflective shield, go off your Ninja
star, then throw your Ninja star. I don't have the volume turned on

(01:00:14):
right now, but I'm going topretend that they have kung fu fighting on
for this. No, it's it'sdrums. It's like Koto drums. Yeah,
all right, Well, I'm stillgoing to pretend it's kung fu fighting
because every single martial arts demo worthits salt has kung fu fighting or the
Mortal Kombat theme. All right,and now that we've showing off how unkillable

(01:00:37):
all our ninjas are, we're gonnasend our grand Master down there to kill
a bunch of them for some reason. Well, I mean, you've got
six thousand of them. You're notgoing to miss two. Yeah, but
you're trying to sell them. That'sthe point is that you're you're making this
invincible army of ninjas, Like thisshould be the watch them kill the bull
with their bare hands moment. Youknow what I mean? Well, you

(01:00:57):
should have done has killed them andthen they just get right back up.
Yeah. Also, I get thathe can't put on the ninja suit until
the very the climax of the film, but like, I don't know,
I'd rather see Michael Dudakov running aroundin his gi than the James Dan outfit.
Right. He still hasn't ascended toninja hood in this film, even
though he already had it. Yeah, well that was a different movie.

(01:01:21):
That's the thing that pisses me offabout like all superhero films too, how
long it takes to put them inthe suit. M hm. I'm like,
just put him in right away.That's why this thing with the little
micro technology where they just hold thisthing up in front of their face and
then their masks just molded, likeshut up. They could take two seconds
to put an actual mask on.Yeah, listen, I just want to
need all this nano technology crap.I want to see Spider Man ordering a

(01:01:44):
pizza in his suit. I justwant to see it move, you know,
that's what you're here for. Ithought the ninjas had like three piece
suits on for a second, butI like how it's dark and you can't
see anything other than the red insigniaon their uniforms. Well, don't forget
the gold piping along the best.Yeah, it's like, do you want

(01:02:07):
to be seen or don't you wantto be seen? I think you need
to make up your mind. Thatguy's just hugging the fence trying to run
away. That is not a welltrained ninja. That's why he was on
perimeter duty. I got stop kicked, want me help. I love this
dude. He looks so nervous holdingthat sword out. He's like, here,
just take the sword. He's shaken. Take the fucking just take the

(01:02:30):
sword. I will go backstage.You will not see me again. It
is my second day here. Yeah, he's like, I'm sorry I said
all that shit about your daughter.Hand me the sword. No, you're
dead, dead, God damn it. I hate it. Here. One
down, let's do a body count. He's like, I thought these guys

(01:02:52):
were hard to kill. It seemslike we hire the one guy. And
that's what I'm saying, Like,you try to show off how good these
ninjas are. And this dude comesdown there and just cleans ours. See,
they should be like the Army ofthe Undead from Lord of the Rings,
you know. Yeah, like,sure, you can take one of
them down, But ninjas is anumbers game. Yeah, Like, yeah,

(01:03:15):
we'll let you kill two of ourguys, but then fifty of us
are just gonna swarm you. Yeah, that's how that's how ninjas work,
you know, it's game of numbers. They never fight alone. Well again,
in good ninja fashion, they onlyever attack him one at a time.
Yeah, they're not the perfect killingmachines. And I don't get what
the point of him going down thereto fight them is. That's what I'm

(01:03:37):
saying. He's not what he's He'sjust like a normal dude. He's just
a ninja master versus all of thesegenetically modified creations of theirs, and he's
just destroying them. And he's like, hey, come on, don't you
want to buy a bunch of these? Like is he their ninja master or
is he like an unrelated ninja.I think he's their master because he's part

(01:03:59):
of this, this whole thing.So he's killing his own guys basically,
Yeah, like presumably these are allpeople he trains and eats lunch with right,
and he's like, tell your mom. I said, hie, because
that's what I like that. Thedude's like, here, I'll just hand
you your sword and then and thenwe'll just be on about our business.
We don't have to murder each other. It's like I'm at a disadvantage here.

(01:04:21):
Yeah. It's like, hey,since say good to see you.
I haven't seen you since the barbecuelast weekend. Why are you picking up
your sword? Yeah? Like,are you gonna You're gonna kill me,
aren't you? This is like lastweek all over again. It would have
been more impressive if they've sent likea regular army guy in there with like
a machine gun, and the ninja'sjust you know, disarmed him without even

(01:04:44):
touching him. Jackson is rising upto his leadership position here. I love
how he just eyeballs this guy intoa green with him. Have you seen
my pecks? You do not wantme to bench press you? A little
short for a storm trooper? What? And she walks around the corner out

(01:05:09):
of the skywater here to rescue you. Master laboratory, not the grunt laboratory,
Not not the thug laboratory. Thisis where the masters are made.
I love how the doctor is justcool with the ninjas walking in number forty
seven, number twenty eight, Goodto see you. Where's thirty eight?

(01:05:29):
Oh he was part of the demonstrationagain. Oh damn god, I liked
it. That's my father. They'reforcing him to make ninjas the classic crime
super Soldier program. The operating section. I just love the sign flashing.
I just have to say, again, as someone who lives in twenty twenty

(01:05:50):
one, not a mask to beseen among these doctors. Uh huh,
you are infecting your genetic and modifiedsoldiers. What I do like this time
around, though, is that theninjas aren't Japanese. Yes, because they're
exactly modified. Everyone could be aninja. Yes. So it's basically a

(01:06:10):
mass production. They just need tocapture bodies and then turn them into ninjas.
So it is really kind of asuper soldier thing that they got going.
You'll feel no pain, although weknow for sure that these guys feel
pain, because every time Joe breaksone of their arms they go like this
A yeah. I mean the oneguy he's stomp kicked into the fence was

(01:06:31):
like crying, Yeah, they feelno pain. That's not true. We
feel pain. They're completely impervious andimmovable. Oh it hurts. I love
how Joe and uh Curly cue overhere, just watching the demonstration and no
one, no one has a problemwith them being there. My new goal

(01:06:54):
is to be a guy in abakhta tank in a movie, stand back
there and breathe in the steam.It could have given those guys haircuts.
Holy cow, I mean it's mulletseason. Yeah apparently. So here's the
thing, And I'm glad that weput explicit warnings on these podcasts. If
I'm somebody in this group, Igo which Ninja has the biggest schlong,

(01:07:17):
right because you got them naked inthe tank anyway? Yeah, are you
modifying that too? What's that's whatthat's That's what the numbers are. It's
a measurement. Ok, four Greg, lunch break. I really want to

(01:07:40):
see the day to day operations ofNinja Camp Lab, because like, when
is their lunch break? My god, this stairwell looks exactly like the stairwell
one of the buildings I went toschool, and I would saying, look
like a high school stairwell. I'mpretty sure yous A smoked cigarettes right there.
Uh huh, it's the same,Rick's the same tile. Is this

(01:08:01):
shot at the University of Iowa amazing? He just like saw your principal walking
in the shot in the background,like, oh shit, sorry, well
I love how you know? Hisdaughter shows up with another ninja and he's
just like, okay, let metell you the entire plot real quick.
How wait, how do I knowyou're not one of the ninjas? I
made like, oh, you're withmy daughter. She's like, this is
Joe. That sounds like a madeup name, and my name's Joe,

(01:08:26):
and I get that. I mean, it's just it's a name you make
up, you know. All right, he needs a quiet place to finally
ascend into full ninja mode. Heput on the uniform. Now we got
to do the ninja symbols. Havewe seen his dad at all in this
film? No, because he gotkilled. He remember he sacrificed himself at

(01:08:47):
the end of the last one.But I'm saying we haven't had like a
flashback to him at all before thismoment. No, So we're just like,
here's a guy we haven't talked aboutat all. Remember everything in the
movie? Yeah, this in caseyou in case you're just joining us,
Here we go ninja hand symbols strikea pose, Fogue. I don't understand

(01:09:11):
why Joe forgot these things. Heseems like an important skill that you would
refresh every morning. Yeah, itseems like something you would practice every damn
day. Now he can shoot fire. Looks like he just farted. To
be honest with you, I meanthat too. It's ninja magic. He
just change the he changed the outfit. Yep, yeah, it's a new

(01:09:33):
ninja suit. This is his ninjasuit. Now, this game, this
movie like invented video games, becausehe just basically unlocked a new level and
got the ability to shoot fire.Yeah, that's what I mean. Now
he has full ninja. He isfully ascended into that role, and he
may now take on the Ninja Master, who was the only reason. The

(01:09:58):
only reason he had to I'm inthat demonstration and kill all the other Ninjas
is to position him as like thisthis will be the boss fight. Is
this? Uh, Michael Didakov's lastAmerican Ninja. No, he comes back
in American Ninja four. Okay?Is he the main character just like a
cameo? You know, I'm notsure because I've never actually seen American Ninja

(01:10:20):
four. Oh, that'll be interestingin a couple of weeks. Then that's
why I'm looking forward to this wholething. Yeah, hey, guys,
what's going on. How you doing? But yeah, Stodamick, you're not
number sixty nine. Hey, incase you guys didn't realize this is Spartan.

(01:10:45):
Your uniform looks slightly different sixty nine. No, Hey, guys,
I'm Joe Armstrong here to risk you. I mean that's literally it. Wild
Bill sent me to take you home. I feel like you introduced your rank.
Yeah, Like, if you wantthese marines to trust you, you're

(01:11:06):
like, Hey, I'm army Ranger, Joe Armstrong, not just hey,
I'm just fucking schmoe. You guyshaven't heard of me, but you will.
I'm the most famous ninja in theworld. Definitely not going with you.

(01:11:30):
I love how that one guy highblocked the light. Yeah, so
that that archway, that little Japanesepavilion thingy right there in front of the
room. My gym owner went toa seminar in Florida where they have they
have it's like a traditional i idoschool where they also do karate and cramegan
stuff, but it's an i idoschool, right, so it has that

(01:11:53):
little archway at the front door,and he saw it and was like,
hey, I found a contractor who'swilling to build that in our gym.
And I was like, well,like we're doing like a Hawaiian martial art
that's mostly Chinese, and like wehave muy Thai. I don't think it's
Japanese. And it's also it's ownedby a white guy. Yeah, I
don't feel like that would go supergreat with the aesthetics, Like you don't

(01:12:15):
think it'd be cool, Like Ijust think it looked gaudy. He's like,
yeah, what I'm going for,it would be cool. I'm gonna
be honest with you, that wouldbe awesome. I'm like, hey,
man, it's your gym. Dowhatever you want. But like I do
agree. I do agree. Youneed to like pick an aesthetic. If
you're gonna go for like the EvilNinja school look, then yeah, go
for it. I just like ourgym looks like an MMA gym, Like
we have open flooring with like heavybags and you know, and like focus.

(01:12:39):
Really Jackson Jackson now has taken onhis own aesthetic of sleeveless with the
auto shoddy. I'm pretty sure that'sa commando uniform it is, that's what
the army recommends. And you're gonnaraid a base. You guys seen that
new Rambow movie that just came out. That's what I'm going war Here?

(01:13:00):
Do I look? Do I looklike slashed alone? Like? Yeah?
You do? Are the investors arewatching this fight? Yes? So they're
watching these regular marines not yet modified, basically beat the fuck out of their
ninjas. Well, they don't makeit clear, like I don't know if
these guys have received any of thetreatments, but like they come out and
they suddenly know how to swing aninja sword correctly, you know what I

(01:13:20):
mean. I mean, I've seenMarco Zorro which pointing in goes the other
guy. It's not that hard.Yeah, but yeah, Like if I'm
one of the potential investors and I'mwatching this fight, it's uh not looking
good for the Ninja product. Likethis is this is interesting. It feels
like you guys have a few moreyears of development. You know, I

(01:13:42):
think maybe you should do some moreR and D because this ain't it.
Yeah, seems like we could justhire some mercenaries. What about those guys
you had in town? I meanthey got their arms broken and still showed
up for work the next day.They dedicated. I guarantee it's a lot
cheaper. Honestly, you're not payingYou're obviously not paying their insurance because that

(01:14:03):
one guy had duct tape on hisfinger. Yeah. Why does the like
most dangerous ninja killer always wait untillast minute before he gets involved? Like
why is he just watching? Yeah? Why doesn't he just jump down there
and be like, we can't affordto have all these like bodies to deal
with. Yeah, this totally lookslike the entrance to the dorms. That

(01:14:27):
that does look like. That lookslike a dining hall the university I went
to here. He is black Rambo. Yeah, they call me Blambo.
Why is that blam? Who needsa ninjitsu and you got an auto shotgun?

(01:14:49):
Blam blam, blam blam. Iwould say he does become the American
ninja? Does he keep the that'shis secret web, But he keeps strapped
to his back. He's like grayedfrom the from the straight sword. He's
like, you know what, Irespect Joe. I think the way he
did it was great. However,I'm here to take names and do niu

(01:15:13):
jitsu. This is my Ninja boomstick. Has there ever been a time when
a man has worn a full whitesuit and just thinking that It's like when
you wake up in the morning,you're like, you know, I'm aware
today the full white not even fullwhite like cream white. Yeah. Like,

(01:15:34):
yeah, there's definitely guys who wearblack suits and are evil tan suits
and are evil, but like notalways. You know, James Bond wears
a black suit, he's not evil. Yeah. Yeah, but if you
wear all white down to the tieand the shoes, you're a bad guy.
Yeah, because even when Bond wearsa white taxedo, it's always black
tie exactly. Yeah. There areschlongs. That's what he destroyed. That's

(01:15:58):
not the rest of them where theexplosion generated from. He's like, no,
don't blow up thirteen. Jackson's gothis secret weapons. Butterfly knives.
Now. I will say the sounddesign on this is good. There's just
something chunky about the sound of thoseswords hating. It's like this, it's

(01:16:21):
very satisfying. I love butterfly knives. They just they look super cool.
I'm glad he took that shirt off. It was totally getting in the way.
Yeah, I was holding moving backreally bad. Why do you give
him a sword because we're gonna havea traditional duel with all the bodies around
you. I'm mostly upset that PedroPascal went from having a pretty conventional ninja

(01:16:48):
outfit to this rhinestone laden domination.Also, I like a good ninja sword
fight, but I think too oftenit gets fuse with the samurai sword fight,
which is kind of what this lookslike. You know, yes,
like this should all be about deception. This guy thinking he's fighting with the
sword, but secretly he has likea dagger in his opposite hand. I

(01:17:11):
agree, I agree, because that'swhat ninjitsu is, you know. Yeah,
It's all about deception. It's allabout the setting is never where you
think it is. You know,who you're fighting is never who you think
you're fighting. My friends and Iwere talking about our training styles yesterday and
were comparing it. Like most peopleare either a samurai or a ninja.
Either want to fight you face toface and like may the best man win,

(01:17:33):
or you want to trick someone andjust basically outsmart them when you fight
them. No, oh, ninjaall day long. I'm like, I
don't want to be a better fighterthan you. I want to make you
look at my left hand while myright hand hits you in the ribs.
Yeah, I'd rather not have afight at all. Honestly, there's the
Bruce Lee moment. Ah damn,look those boots. I want that.

(01:17:56):
And then this dude gets ups allthat shit that you just did. What
was all that? And the dude'sjust gonna get up again. Yeah.
I don't think that was Jackson talkingto that ninja. I think that was
the actor of being like dude.Yeah, this is the part where you
fall down, wait for cut,don't get up? Oh, ninja ninjat.

(01:18:18):
This is why you can't have thatin your studio. It's just too
many opportunities for people to escape.I don't know, man, I like
doing pull ups on everything, soin that instance, I would like it.
Joe and this guy don't have anykind of personal conflict, do they.
No, would have been nice.You're a ninja. I'm a ninja.

(01:18:41):
Let's just let's just have it out. There can be only one Hey,
what if what if hear me outon this? What if this is
the Highlander and we just don't knowthat yet. We get to the end
of this film and Joe chops thisdude's head off and there's a quickening and
everybody's like, what the hell wasthat? And he's like, nothing to
worry about it my audition for anothermovie. Yeah again. I just think

(01:19:04):
this, like Mexican standoff, wouldbe cooler if Joe was like sweet and
just threw like ten ninja stars athim. Yeah, as they circle each
other, split toe boots for somereason, I have a pair of those.
Not are they like the vbran fivefinger. They are traditional Japanese hobby.

(01:19:30):
I used to wear them when Iwould train outside. The modern stuff
is better. I'm gonna say that. Has this girl ever been named?
Uh? Yes, the dad calledher by her name earlier. I just
don't remember what it is. Daughter. Yeah, girl three from the script,

(01:19:55):
it's not even girl one, leadactress. Okay, now the fight's
over. He can take his maskoff. Be amazing. If that wasn't
Joe. Yeah, it's just astunt. Double Joe runs in. He's
like, what are they? Oh, just one of the other marines.
I was meditating what that means.It was all a trick. So one

(01:20:15):
two of the Marines survived. HeyI got to take my shirt off.
Hell yeah, brother, I gotto put a mask on. He's like,
I know my dad just died,but I'm so turned on right now?
Did anybody seen my dad? Rememberthat? Like ground shaking explosion,

(01:20:44):
and now we party like it's theend of Return of the Jedi? Yeah?
Is he gonna make out with CurlyCue? What with all the chemistry
they had between the two of them. Ope. I think when Joe was

(01:21:08):
like, I got other plans andJackson goes, so do I, they
should look at each other. We'regoing to pretend to be straight for the
next twenty two minutes. They lookat the girls and they look at each
other and they're like, Colonel,I'm going to go home and sleep with
my wife. That's a clue referencefor those of you who don't know.

(01:21:31):
If you haven't seen that, putthat on your to do list. It
is worthwhile. It is one ofmy favorite films of all time. That's
one of everybody's favorite films of alltime. It's brilliant. I don't want
to talk about another movie while we'retalking about this one, but I do
think they should make a different Cluefilm every single year. Yeah, I
mean, you totally could. Andit's awesome because It's very like pop cultural

(01:21:53):
friendly because you can just have whoeverthe hot stars are right now, literally
just just play a game, recordit, and then just write down how
the game unfolded. And that's itexactly. Movie. Yeah, I love
it. You owe me five buckslose this ridiculous hat, bonehead. How
about I give you this Ninja starinstead. It's five dollars. You gave

(01:22:23):
me a I have four of these. Dude. Do you see the island
that live on the way I live? I have so many knives. He's
like, I'm gonna go stab aguy right now. You do that short
round, you do that, andjust carrying that kid down the stairs.
We have no idea who he is, just like he was carrying him like
a turkey leg. Yeah, we'regonna eat this child later, and all

(01:22:48):
is right with the world until AmericanNinja three. I was gonna say,
it would be amazing if we justsaw the evil Ninja walk into frame right
it's like still alive, just swooned, severely stunned. I mean again,
the best Ninja makes you think he'sdead. Mm hmm, yeah, he

(01:23:10):
just keeps coming back. Yeah,well, folks, that's it. American
Ninja two Electric Boogloo. Wasn't thedirector from American Ninja one also the director
of electro Boogloo. Let's find outSam Furstenburg, he directed American Ninja Avenging

(01:23:33):
Force. He yes, Breaking twoElectric Boogloo. There you go, look
at that. He apparently has ahas a genre he likes to stick to.
Well, yeah, I mean,when you get your big break in
a particular thing, you just youjust go. You milk it. You're
making money, you go where themoney's being made. Let me just read

(01:23:55):
you a few of his films fromnineteen eighty three to two thousand and three.
Revenge of the Ninja, Ninja three, The Domination, American Ninja,
American Ninda two, American Samurai,Cyborg Cop, and The Interplanetary Surplus Male
and Amazon Women of Outer Space.Hmm, let's put that one on the
list. That was thoroughly enjoyable.I love that movie again, just just

(01:24:23):
a great tone and there's there's somethingabout just being set on this island and
the sun. It's just like rightnow, Ian, I'm in Minnesota.
It's a cold, rainy day,and just like getting to see that scenery
and like having a whole thing thathappens there it is. It is almost
like going on vacation. So thereit is. So is American Ninja because
I know, like best of thebest is literally it's descending bestness, right,

(01:24:45):
The first one is kind of regardis the best, and the second
one all the way down, likeit gets worse and worse and worse.
Is the American Ninda franchise like thator does it get no? Because I
feel like American Ninja one, likelike we said earlier, it's a little
bit like it takes itself more seriously. I think it peaked at American Ninja
two American Ninja three. My understandingis it drops down to what you would
expect the third to be with whenyou don't have your main start, and

(01:25:09):
then it comes back a little bitin four. Let's see what the Pedia
has to say about that. Ohthere's no reception, okay, Oh there's
an American Ninja five. Ah,yes, how high do we go on
this franchise? I think five lookslike the last one. Yeah, So
I think what you and I needto do is wrap up American Ninja five

(01:25:30):
and then reveal that we're going tobe doing American Ninja six. I love
it, the revenge ning the Revenge, Ny write that down. Yeah,
So if you're not donating to ourGoFundMe for American Ninja six or whatever one,
we're on doing so the Joe andI can make our magnum opus,

(01:25:53):
that's right, or at the veryleast, so we don't have to pay
for voodoo so we can watch thesefilms. Netflix pick up the American Ninja
franchise. This is asinine that Ihad to hunt so hard to find this
movie. And just so you know, for American Ninja three, Do Dakov
was originally set to reprise his roleas Joe Armstrong, but he got burnt

(01:26:14):
out on martial arts and because thefilm was being made in South Africa during
the apartheid movement, he didn't notwant to be around it at all.
So there's your little factoid leading intoAmerican Ninja three, and then he comes
back in American Ninja four, andit's like the two American Ninjas. I
am liking Ninja month and I'm goingto go back to what we're talking about

(01:26:36):
earlier. I would like to seea return to Ninjas all over cinema.
You know, I think we needto start like a Ninja production Company and
just start this thing on our own. We need our stunt team, we
need to be ready to roll ata moment's notice, and we need to
have lots of ninja gear and uniforms. I'm all for this. Let's make

(01:26:57):
this happen. I am willing tothrow hundreds of thousands of dollars at any
script that has the word ninja init. Somewhere, I'm not able to
do that, but I'm willing todo it. I'm one hundred percent there
with me. All right, enoughof this. Tune in next week as

(01:27:17):
we continue with the American Ninja series

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Ep 28. American Ninja II - Ninja November

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep 28. American Ninja II - Ninja November