March 26, 2023 • 45 mins
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have a powerful marriage. Love them, hate them or don't care, listen in anyway as Your Favorite Sexologist goes all the way in on how you can benefit from the power of marriage in Will and Jada's relationship.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome to the Ships and Sex Podcastswith your favorite sexologists Octavi Evans Akao Ev,
where I help high achieving women embrace, own and protect their sexuality in
order to create the ships and sexlife of their dreams without compromising their faith.
Uh they gone guns dray fanness todo this for life. Thank you
(00:25):
saying make gunstall will get it offfuture ship since seximon. Yeah, what's
up everyone? Thank you for tuningin to today's episode, The Power of
Marriage Will and Jada Pinkett Smith.I am so excited about this episode because
I've actually never done celebrity gossip andstuff like that. It's just not something
(00:47):
that I do or that I'm interestedin doing. But every now and again
I'm into hot topics like so manyof you. So I thought this is
coming at an appropriate time and agreat time to talk about some powerful points.
I thought this would be a greattime to talk about the power of
marriage and use the marriage of Willand Jada Pinkett Smith to get to my
(01:08):
point as a teaching moment for allof us who are so interested in marriage,
relationships, sex, all those things, the whole thing that this podcast
is about. So let's get intoit. Now let's talk about why I
decided to talk about them of allthings. So right now we're seeing lots
(01:32):
of different connotations going on, andfeedback and clap back and all those things
going on because of the new Netflixspecial. Finally Chris Rock came out and
decided to speak on the slap Heardaround the world. Right it's been about
a year, so I guess thisis the time that he wanted to talk
about it. So everybody has beengoing back and forth about his special.
(01:56):
I have not watched it, don'tintend to watch it either unless someone drive
me into watching it that's, youknow, really close to me and something
like that. I've just never beena really big Chris Rock fan. Has
nothing to do with what happened betweenhim and Will Smith. We all have
our famous comedians, and for me, he's just not one. So I
never really watched a lot of hisstand up anyway. But once again,
there is such a great divide withthis amongst so many people who's talking about
(02:19):
it, Team Will versus Team Chrisand all of that. And really the
foundation of all of this dealing withthe Smiths and even Chris Rock, is
the marriage of Will and Jada PinkettSmith. The powerful marriage of Will and
Jada Pinkett Smith. Why do Isay the marriage is powerful? Why is
(02:42):
their marriage so powerful? Why arewe talking about that? And the reason
why we're talking about that is becauseever since Will and Jada connected publicly,
they have been the talk of theworld. I remember, I'm gonna take
you a little bit down memory lanefrom my perspective all the way back to
(03:02):
when I was in single digits asa child, I heard of Will Smith.
I first knew of Will Smith asthe Fresh Prince, okay, and
he wasn't even at the forefront.It was DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh
Prince, the DJ and the rapper. Back when I was growing up,
that was the thing. Rappers hada known DJ behind them. What do
(03:27):
they call it, cuttings, mixing, scratching, all of that on the
ones and the twos, the Willsand Steels, something that I actually did
as well. So this is howI heard of them. And I was
actually a much bigger fan of DJJazzy Jeff because I wanted to be a
DJ, right that was my thing. I used to mix with cassette tapes
(03:47):
like six and seven years old,always recording over my dad tapes and stuff
like that. So I was sointo DJ Jazzy Jeff. Will Smith was
just a loan for the ride forme. I can't say that I thought
he was corny or lame, likea lot of people said, you know,
but I did think, yes,he was soft compared to all the
(04:09):
other rappers at the time, likeLl Cool, j Koom, Old Bolster
Rhymes, all of them. Whoeverwas I at that time, I thought
he was a bit soft if you'recomparing him to them. I didn't even
know his name was Will Smith.I first knew of him by way of
rap, by way of hip hop. That acting came years later, and
I was like, whoa, thisdude is acting. Okay, So I
(04:31):
watched The Fresh Prince of bearl Airjust like everybody else. But and I
still thought of Will Smith as justa soft, cool rapper who's now venturing
a little bit into acting. Wasglad to see he brought his boy DJ
Jazzy Jeff aboard on some of theepisodes, so that's all I thought of
(04:54):
it. He started being in movies, and I never thought of him as
this actor. I just really didn't. I still saw him as a rapper.
It wasn't until the movie Bad Boysthat I was like, oh my
god, he is fine. Iwent to see Bad Boy. In fact,
(05:14):
a team that was recruiting me outof time for basketball y'all used to
play, they took me to seeBad Boys on a recruiting trip. I
was so excited about seeing it becauseof Martin. I was a huge and
still is a huge Martin Lawrence fan, so I'm waiting to see Martin was
actually headlining, not Will Smith.I still wasn't into will In to the
(05:36):
movie until Will started running and thatshirt was open. I was like,
my god. In fact, Ithink he shocked several of us in the
theater because when they showed him runningkind of slowed down, everybody was like
whoa. So anyway, I waslike, okay, ah, he's an
actor. Okay, rapper slash actor, well, y'all. Following year he
(06:00):
did Independence Day What Vivica Fox.I was like, Hey, this man
is what suck? Then he didMinute Black. After that I was like,
okay, well check it for you. Will. Then he came out
with another rap album. By thistime he had done like two or three,
(06:20):
had won a Grammy. The firstrap act to Rent a Grammy,
which was DJ Jazz, Jeff andthe Fresh Prince. But this time it
was the first time he had everput out an album under his real name,
Will Smith. I was like,Okay, so he's taking this thing
serious. So now let me switchover to Jada. There's a reason why
(06:42):
I'm sharing all this with y'all.Okay, just follow me. Let's talk
about Jada Pinkett. Now. Iwasn't the biggest Will Smith fan, right
I listened to his music as achild. The biggest song he had back
then was Parents Just Don't Understand.A lot of parents hated it. I
used to hear my parents and otherpeople that came into their store talk about
how much they hate the song andhow these kids of the day don't understand.
(07:04):
But I loved it. And ofcourse they ended up winning a Grammy,
so that was big, and thealbum was a double album. A
lot of people wasn't doing that backthen, but Jada I became a fan
of hers from a different world.We came from watching The Cosby Show to
a different world right after. Andthen by the time the second or third
(07:28):
season of a different work, therewas Lena James. I loved me so
Lena James. That was Jada Pinkett. She was so tiny, she was
very direct up front, and shewas actually one of Dwayne Wayne's best students.
So I was big into Jada Pinkett. I wanted to find out everything
(07:48):
about her. I started following Jadain her acting career really strongly. So
she was in two movies that aretwo of my favorite movies to this day.
There are my top thirty movies ofall time. One of them is
A low down Dirty Shane. Y'alldon't care what y'all say. The Wayning's
(08:09):
brothers be Putting has put out amazingmovies and shows, and Keenan Ivory Waynings
is the man. He put outa lowdown Dirty Shane. I loved it.
Y'all go look at that movie upand check it out. Well.
Jada, to me, stole themovie. She literally was the funniest one.
And then she was in another favorite, Demon Nights. This was a
(08:31):
part of the Tales from the Cryptseries. I don't know if you'll ever
heard of Tales from the Crypt,but Tales from the Crypt used to have
these scary movies with a storyline alwayssomebody had to get God at the end
or learn a lesson. It's actuallyreally good, but it was kind of
scary, and that movie is phenomenalto me. I don't care what anyone
says. If you have never seenDemon Knights, please watch it. Jada
(08:54):
stole that movie as well. Ofcourse she ended up being the lead.
I was like, this chick isamazing. I want to see more from
her, and then boom. Setit Off came out the same year as
Will Smith was ending The Fresh Princeof bel Air the show and was in
(09:16):
Independence Day. Even though Bad Boyswas his breakout role. Independence Day made
him a worldwide superstar. And forJada she was in what would become a
cult classic and set it off withthe amazing Queen Latifa, the introduction of
(09:37):
the amazing Kimberly Elise, and ofcourse our Girl Vivica Fox Right. That
is also one of my favorite moviesto this day, in the top thirty.
So at this point Jada has beenin three of the top thirty movies
ever all time. For me,the next thing I know, they're together.
(09:58):
So what that did for or someonelike me who was a fan of
Jada Pinkett was it brought Will Stockup well, when he got with Jada,
I loved it. So they gottogether. Number One, they looked
good at hell together. Two,she made him look more desirable. I'm
just being real. She made himlook more desirable me because I thought,
okay, he looked really good andbad boys really good, and Independence Day
(10:22):
still wasn't one over with he thecool guy because it still wasn't cussing this
rapid he because of the movies.I understand that, but okay, but
when he got with her, Iwas like, oooh, I love seeing
them everywhere. Every time I lookedup entertainment tonight that they were every magazine.
Oh my god, Will and Jadaeverywhere. Hollywood loved them, The
(10:43):
world loved them. Black community reallyloved them. Okay, y'all, I've
given you all little detail. Nowwe know Will Smith was married before,
and at this point his marriage wasending. They got together. Next thing,
you know, Will Smith did avideo just the two of us.
On that album I was telling youabout that. He came out instead of
(11:03):
the Fresh Prince. It was underWill Smith. That album was dope.
It had just the two of uson it. One of my favorite songs
on the CD. I think thealbum was big Willy style. Anyway,
The point is he did a song. The biggest part about the song was
the video. I'm watching the video, I'm singeing Will and little Trey,
and I was like, oh mygod, they're just so cute. Towards
(11:26):
the end of that video, y'allpretty asked, Jada is pregnant, sitting
across that chair. He's touching herbelly, She's suching her belly. I'm
screaming like, Jada is pret bad. So they was already merrit at this
point, and they were the itcouple in Hollywood. So the only thing
(11:48):
I wanted was for them to last. They kept doing amazing things in the
industry. Loved it. Jade's borna couple of years later, Willow is
born, Trey is growing up ina blended family. It was a beautiful
thing. Every time you saw them, it was just all love. No
one could top them on the redcarpet, and I mean no one.
(12:11):
There was not a celebrity couple outthat time that could top Will and Jada.
Everybody was looking for them. Jadawould have rocked that short hair,
long hair, midhair, everything,and he was always praising her. The
way they looked at each other wasso intense. You could tell they just
couldn't wait to get the cameras off, to get it on. I mean
you could feel it. And themusic that they made together, Like when
(12:35):
he made the song on one ofthose albums called Chasing Forever, it was
one of my favorite Will smith songs. I was like, Okay, I'm
starting to really like Will now.And then I loved a thousand kisses Jada
saying in there a little bit.I love that they was dancing the video
she directed one of his videos.It was just so much they was collabing.
And the thing that I loved aboutit is Jada was pretty much already
(12:56):
rich when they got married. Shedidn't necessarily need Will's money. But of
course Will had the most money,right, but they were both multimillionaires.
He just had way more because atthis point, Will Smiths getting paid twenty
million a movie. All that beingsaid, their marriage literally transformed the way
we looked at marriage. Like alot of us are already talking about we
(13:18):
want to get married and all ofthat, but it became we want a
marriage like Will and Jada. Theybecame the couple people rapped about in their
songs or talked about if it ain'tgonna be like Will and Jada, I
don't want it. I want tolove like Will and Jada. I want
to be the Jada to your Will. I want to be the Will to
your Jada. I'm telling you.They were everywhere in people's minds, thoughts,
(13:45):
their mouths, their CD players,everywhere. This is before social media,
y'all. They were a force tobe wreckoned with. And oh when
they went on Oprah, it wasowned. She had them bad again and
again and again. I think theywere on there like three times. I
(14:05):
remember one of the first times theywas on there was really real. But
then she eventually brought each one ofthem out, and I think Willow was
maybe four, maybe five. Thenthey came out again, and the more
they talked on interviews and on shows, people did kind of go, you
know, oh, they let theirchildren say what they want and kind of
(14:33):
do what they want. Okay,no spanking, okay, no whoopings,
Okay. These people black. Butwe honestly had never really heard black families
talk like that. First of all, nobody was really interested in the entire
black family four and outside of likebefore my time, Martin Luther King's family,
(15:00):
Malcolm X's family. But as faras like in the camera eye,
what family do you remember that?We were just so interested and learn about
unless they were a fake family onTV like The Cosby Show. We were
interested in The Cosby Show, butthey was not a real family, right,
But everybody wanted to talk to Willand Jada and their children. Then
(15:22):
they got to the point where theywanted to talk to his ex wife.
They were like a big thing.They changed so much when it came to
Hollywood and celebrity and all of that, and Will Smith could do no wrong.
Well, people that didn't grow upin the times of knowing real Will
Smith was a rapper saw him asa movie star. Then as time went
(15:46):
on, people began to see himas a motivational speaker. Like my children
do not know Will Smith as WillSmith or the fresh Prince of bel Air.
They know him as Jade and Smith'sdaddy, the little boy that was
in the Karate Kid. That's howmy children know of Will Smith. But
anyway, so they changed the dynamicof what celebrity marriage is. When you
(16:08):
look up and saw that they've beenmarried for thirteen years, I never forget
that that was like a big thing. But their interviews just kept getting a
little weirder and weirder, Like Iremember before they If memory serves me correctly,
I think this was either before Jadenwas born or shortly after. But
they were on the cover of Essencemagazine, and trust me, I still
(16:32):
have all these magazines whenever I wouldsee Will and Jada on the cover,
baby, I bought the magazine.In this particular Essence magazine, they had
asked Jada a question about sex,and she said something I do not remember
the exact quote. I'm sure itcan't be found online, but I'm gonna
paraphrase here. She said, makinglove to Will is like making love to
(16:56):
a woman. And I remember saying, what you scir what do we What
are you saying, Jada? Doyou know they would say things like that,
like the more and more they talked, the weirder I thought it was.
I'm gonna be real with you.I had never heard a lot of
the things they said before, soyeah, I begin to feel that way.
(17:19):
And then she explained and said hewas very sensitive to her needs,
he was emotionally available, things Ihadn't really heard before, and the way
he held her and his sensitivity andall of that, and I was like,
oh, so then I would letmy friends read it because they didn't
want to buy a magazine or whatever, and so they read mine. They
were like, oh, I wanta man like that, and we all
wanted a Will Smith. Right.Anyway, when I saw them on Oprah
(17:44):
for that second or third time,I noticed the pedestal. Like sometimes you're
so into people you don't notice thatyou're putting them on a pedestal, right,
But it was in that interview.I think they had on pretty much
all white if I can remember correctly. I'm sure these be looked up on
YouTube. I was like, wow, I see the pedestal. They got
(18:06):
a stand in ovation when they cameout on this particular episode of OPRAH.
He talked about how he was aChristian, and he went down the line
of saying what each of the membersof the family were as far as spiritually,
and nobody else was a Christian buthim. You see what I mean
about how things got weirder and weirder. I was just like, these are
(18:29):
some very interesting people. And asthe children got older, their interviews got
a little more weirder to me too. I remember this interviewer was asking Willow
and Jaden questions. They answered,the sun, the moon, the lilies
of the field. Y'all making itup. But that's how it came to
me. I was like, whatare they talking about? But I was
(18:55):
like, okay. So there hadall always been rumors pretty much shortly after
they were either married or together,that they had an open relationship. In
fact, I have a magazine calledSister Sister where Jamie she's the editor in
(19:15):
chief of the magazine, maybe thecreator of the magazine. Even if I
can remember correctly, she asked aquestion to Will and Jada about them having
an open marriage. Now, letme get the story as straight as I
can remember. At the time,I believe they was doing this interview by
phone, and Will and Jada wereon a plane and Will was sleep so
(19:38):
questions were being asked to Jada andshe was answering, and then when it
came to the open marriage part,Jada began to respond, and then she
said, let me get Willed.And then when she said Will wake up,
Jamie got a question or da dadada. That was you could read
all of that. So it waslike her interviews took you there. You
(20:00):
were in the moment, you werethere with them or watching or silently participating
in interviews. That's what I lovedabout her interviews. She's still no social
media, so her interviews were greatand this one was too. And when
she gave the explanation of what anopen marriage is, and he even gave
some input, Basically, I waslike, Okay, so if it ever
(20:22):
gets to the point where they wantto be with others, they're mature enough
to do so. They got tobe able to look at each other in
the eye. Things like that.I was like, oh, okay,
this is differend. Okay. Sothat was late nineties, y'all. That
was late nineties, so that rumorhad been out there for years. People
(20:48):
even took to another level begin tosay they were swingers. But I didn't
hear people really hating on them.I didn't hear people didn't like them.
I didn't hear people talking down aboutthem. They were still Black America's couple,
Black America's family. Then social mediacomes along. Before video got really
really popular, before Will Smith hada YouTube account, maybe even before he
(21:11):
had an IG account, they hadFacebook. So I remember following pretty much
all of them on the Facebook,especially Jada. I loved her content.
Her posts were always inspirational and veryinspiring. Some of them was like okay,
Jada, Okay, I don't know, but we'll go with that,
or I just won't share that,and I would share some of her posts.
(21:32):
Actually. Remember I was more ofa fan of Jada than I was
of Will, so I shared herstuff even though I was also following her
husband. But all this time,they're Black America's favorite couple, Black America's
favorite family. Even when Will Smithand Eminem had beef, Will smith thing
(21:52):
was write one verse without a curse, and he was rhyming, and Eminem
was like, Will Smith don't haveto cuss in his music. I do
F Will and F you two.I have to admit that was dope.
That was before clapbacks were clapbacks,and it was dope. But I love
what Will said in his rap.Remember I always thought it was kind of
(22:12):
soft and just entertaining, but hecame with it in that he said something
I forgot what making MC great?Let me see if I can get it
in order. I'm going by memory, y'all. Is it the cars Bentley?
Is it the money twenty meal?Because at the time he was making
twenty mel at least twenty million amovie. He said, is it the
women? He said, Jada,And then they said is it something and
(22:36):
he said please. I wish Icould find the lyrics or the song,
but that's what I remember. Iremember me and some friends was watching.
I never forget it. This isearly two thousand at this point, and
I was like, who we were? Just like whoa that was called?
Like that was one of the firstor second times. Only when it came
to Will Smith, I was like, God, listen to his you know,
like we say bars now, butI was listening to them ron right.
(23:00):
So I'm sharing all this to say, look at the power that came
with them getting married. Will Smithhad been married to a different woman who
was also beautiful, had a veryhandsome little son. They would go out
on red carpets together, and itwas not very powerful compared to when Will
(23:25):
got with Jada. Will had alwayssaid he realized, like when he reconnected
with Jada, because she tried outfor the fresh Prince and didn't get the
part. When he reconnected with her, he said, he realized he was
married to the wrong person or thator basically she was the one he was
supposed to be with. That's whathe said. He had always said that
from the beginning. There was somuch power that came with them getting together,
(23:48):
the power of their marriage, apowerful marriage that it's got you right
now. The whole world been talkingabout them all these years, the majority
of the years of their marriage,the talks about them have been overwhelmingly positive,
overwhelmingly loving, overwhelmingly kind, dope. But these last few years they've
(24:18):
been so kind. No more.People now literally hate Jada Pinkin. I
hate even using the word hate witheither of their names behind it. People
literally hate her men and women,but with men for some reason that they
have a strong hatred for this woman. I have seen grown ass men actually
(24:41):
say f Jada pink and Smith.F Jada. Call her a b call
her a whole, call her demonic, call her a witch. I have
seen so many vile comments about thiswoman. I never would have imagined this
(25:02):
in a million years. Not theway America, especially Black America, loved
this family, love this couple.They were with Will and Jada when all
was scientology rumors were going about.From the open marriage rumors going on,
we all knew about Jada and Pac, just like we know about Pac and
(25:23):
Left Eye and Pak and Kadadai andPoc and Madonna and so many. Pac
was tied to so many women,so we didn't think nothing of it.
It's like, oh my gosh,she chose Will because Pop died. That's
not the story we remember. That'snot the story we got. We had
actually never heard that they were romantic. There are actually people who have platonic
(25:45):
friendships, and we always thought itwas that. In fact, I remember
when there was a time around inthe late nineties, well in the nineties
in general, but especially around thelate nineties, there's so many celebrities.
Black celebrities were getting talk shows,and one of them was Keenan Ivy Wayning's.
He had a show and I'll neverforget he had Jada Pinkett on there.
(26:06):
I think this was before, rightbefore she got married or right after,
No, it's right before. Itwas right before she got married.
And they showed a video of Tupacand Jada Pinkett dancing and rapping to parents,
just don't understand by the fresh Prince, who was Will Smith. We
(26:26):
were laughing at me and a friendwas watching. I never forget we were
laughing at that, like cause wewere laughing at the hairstyles, the way
the pants came up like urkle,I think we said. And it was
just an amazing interview. Y'all couldlook this up on YouTube somewhere, but
we actually watched it live because weused to wait on keenan Ivory Waying Hiss
show. We loved it along withthe Vibe magazine. He had a show,
(26:48):
Magic Johnson had a show. Therewere three different black celebrities doing talk
shows and we were like hare forright. So even when she talked about
Pak, she talked about him passionately, but that was Jada. Jada talked
about Will more passionately. Like whenshe would talk about people that she loved,
she always talked about them passionately.When she would talk about her co
(27:14):
stars or set it off, y'alllook at old interviews, she would praise
them so much and just be sopassionate about I understood that. I could
feel that. That's why I'm sucha fan, because I don't you hear
I'm talking. When I'm talking aboutthings, I'm so passionate as well too.
When people go back and look atthis old stuff ced there and see
there, look there. I'm like, I don't know what the hell y'all
looking for. But she never evershot away from talking about Pap. She
(27:37):
talked about him passionately. But didy'all watch all the old videos of her
and Will? Oh my god,they look like they can keep their hands
off each other. They would kidseverywhere. You knew it was real.
You could feel it through the TV. But people say, now they don't
even love Look look how they're They'refired and went out. They don't even
(28:00):
love each other. They've been togetherover twenty some years, y'all expect it
to be the same as ninety seven. Look out of here, like,
let's be realistic around here. Withall of that being said, they have
one of the most powerful marriages becausethey got the entire world literally talking about
them, and they had the entireworld talking about them for the last two
(28:26):
damn decades. That's power. Thereare so many other celebrities married, Denzel
and his wife been married longer.No one talks about them too as much
as they talk about Will and Jada. Even before the world turned on them,
as they say, as the worldturns, Even before the world turned
on them, no one was talkingabout Denzel and his wife like that.
(28:48):
Samuel Jackson and his wife been marriedfor a long ass time. No one
was talking about their marriage and theirfamily like that. No one was talking
about Denzel and his family like that. No one was talking about George Mathis
and his family like that. BeforeBernie Mack died, nobody was talking about
him and his family like that.Steve Harvey and his family, y'all won't
talk about him and his family likethat. Y'all talk about his daughter like
(29:11):
that. The world talks about hisdaughter, Laurie Harvey, the one he
adopted, but y'all won't talking abouteven y'all won't even talk about them like
that. You can come up withany black couple that's been married for a
long time, are still married.The world wasn't talking about them like that.
Will and Jada Smith love him,hate them, indifferent, have a
(29:33):
very powerful marriage. The moment theyconnected and got together, everybody was talking
about them, everybody was checking forthem, everybody was loving on them.
And now everybody's either loving on themor hating on them. That's powerful,
that's power, because guess what's happening. The more time you comment on social
(29:56):
media posts, comment on you tubevideos. Take time out of your day
to respond and go back and forthwith people. Your energy and your power
is going towards them. That's somepowerful shit. Give them their props.
(30:18):
They have truly earned it from justbeing their damn selves. That's all they're
doing is being who they are.They got y'all talking, They take your
energy, they take your power.In fact, let me clear it up.
You give them your energy, Yougive them your power like I'm doing
(30:40):
right now. But I have aplatform, so I'm gonna be talking,
but most of y'all do not.You spend your time and your energy talking
about people you've never met, don'tknow, you don't even know them.
All you know is what the worldhas said about them. And you may
say, well, no, Iknow what they said of what they chose
(31:00):
to share with you. You reallydon't know what goes on in that house.
You really don't know what goes onin their marriage. You really don't
know what goes on in that family. All you know is what they choose
to show you. Same with me, All you know is what I choose
to show you. There are manythings in my marriage I am for sure.
(31:22):
IF's public, you would have aproblem with it. I don't give
a damn, but still you're notprivy to it unless I'm ready to share
it. And that's the thing aboutWill and Jada. They've always been willing
Jada, even though they have evolved. If you go back down my memory
timeline of them, which is whyI'm gave it to you that I shared
(31:44):
with y'all of them, I said, what did I say? Jada has
always spoke her mind. Whatever shewas asked in interview, she often would
answer, She's always spoke up.Of a tiny, small person, she's
always spoke up. That's what Iliked about her. Angela Bassett been in
(32:07):
the industry for decades. She marriedCourtney b Vance, was also on Oprah.
Wrote a book. I believe itbecame a bestseller. I'm not sure.
It was called Friends, a LoveStory. Nobody talked about her and
her family like that, her andher marriage like that. It was Will
and Jada. We can do thisall day. There's only one other.
(32:30):
Now, there are other couples thatthe world gave their energy and power to.
Honey and thank god it was nosocial media, because baby, they
probably would have been talked about waymore than Will and Jada, and that
was Bobby and Whitney. Baby.When I say, wherever they talked about
(32:50):
Will and Jada, Bobby and Whitneywas the alternate tid. Bobby and Whitney
was in the alternate universe. Nobodywas really talking about, I want to
love like Bobby and Whitney. Iwant to love like Whitney and Bobby.
They was talking about, I wantto love like Will and Jada. Everybody
wanted their marriage. The way theylooked at each other, the power that
(33:15):
they exuded. You could feel itbefore social media in their interviews. Right.
Even my husband and I were fansbecause my husband but he was actually
a fan of Will Smith before Jada, whereas I was a fan of Jada
before I was a fan of WithSmith. So we got together. What's
(33:37):
the couple that we talked about,the couple that we wanted something from,
meaning we want to take some thingsfrom the marriage, Like we was like,
we love the intensity of their marriage, and we had that. We've
had that, right, we're goingon two decades of marriage. So what
y'all what people saw in the beginningof our marriage, you don't really see
the day you see an extension ofthat we've evolved, and you know when
(34:00):
it's yummy yummy in the beginning,you know the honeymoon stage and phase is
over and it comes back and goesaway, it comes back along the lines
of marriage whatever. But that power, Oh, I love it. I
love it. I'm not here toreally give an opinion on them today.
I'm not here to really talk aboutwhat I think of them and what they've
(34:21):
done and all those things. WhatI'm here is to talk about the power
of marriage, and they're just thesubjects of today. I might make this
a segment that I do every timein my podcast where I talk about the
power of marriage. Because their marriagehas impacted the entire world in one way,
shape or form. That's freaking power. What's good about that everything?
(34:45):
Some of y'all can't even go tosleep from talking about them people, whether
yet love them or hate them,whether you agree with them or you disagree
with them. Some of you can'teven go get off a post and go
back to work and be on time. Some of you can't even use that
energy to follow your own dreams.Some of you can't even use that energy
to create the ships and sex lifeof your dreams because you're too busy giving
(35:07):
energy to their marriage, to theirlives, to their family. Oh my
god, you might be obsessed.What's my point. If you put as
much energy as you put into liftingpeople up on pedestals, take some of
the energy back and put it intocreating what you want in life, then,
(35:30):
as my previous episode says, youcan have it all. Because baby,
from what I see, Will andJada got it all. They not
only have the money or the power. While people were talking about Chris Rock
and Will and Jada and all ofthat, I actually saw people going on
Will Smith's post when he was postingof other people and lifting them up and
(35:53):
giving them their flowers and shouting themout like the Creed movie and Jamie Fox.
I saw people in the comments saying, yeah, hey, Will,
you've seen that Chris Rock that Netflixspecial. People was like, yeah,
Chris Rock, Creed you in theNetflix special. And you know, I'm
watching these people go back and forthon social media, and I'm like,
(36:16):
I said, I got some time, this is good content to share.
I got some time. Let meread some things, let me troll a
little bit, even I had Isaid in the true comments to people who
felt so strongly like I saw peoplesay comments like I hate your ass man,
you are pump man. I waslike, damn, Will Smith did
one bad thing in his entire lifepublicly a year ago, and people hate
(36:40):
this man. That means the powerthat they've been having and that he has
had over people. They ain't reallylike him. When I see what said,
I used to like, well,don't like that's a damn lie.
Most of these people didn't really likeWill They thought he was laming corny.
They didn't think he deserved the lifethat he creaked ate it, so they
were just waiting. If you evenlook in the comments on these poets when
(37:05):
they say Chris Rock worked from theground up, Will Smith had everything given
to him. No read his book. He created it, not saying Chris
Rock didn't. But you're trying tocompare something you can't compare. They both
created their lives from wherever they wasfrom What are you creating in yours?
The power of marriage Will and Jadais so powerful. This is the kind
(37:27):
of power you want in your life, creating the ships and sex life of
your dreams. Instead of complaining aboutwhy your marriage ain't what you wanted to
be about why your husband ain't doingthis, or why your wife ain't doing
that? Or why your children notthis? And why they't not that?
How about you use that power energythat you have for celebrities are the strong
(37:51):
power and energy you keep given totopics on Will and Jada and create manifest
some shit change your life up aboutthat. People should be getting energy and
inspired about you. Because I'm lookingat Will and Jada and I'm like,
shit, what do I need tobe creating for this kind of power?
(38:13):
Not to be like them? Butwhat can I take? My daddy always
told me eat the meat and throwthe bones away. I don't need everything
off Will and Jada's played a marriage. I don't need everything off Denzel and
his wife's play the marriage. Butif there is something going on in my
marriage that needs to be fixed,I'm gonna look at examples of marriages out
(38:35):
there. I'm gonna take a littlebit from each one. I'm gonna throw
it in the pot. I'm gonnamix it up, and I'm gonna create
that shit for my own. I'mgonna put my energy and my time and
my focus in creating my life,my marriage, my sex, life,
my money. You can take alittle bit and put it in a ball.
(38:59):
You can look at MoMA and Daddyand say, I may not want
exactly Mamma and daddy marriage, butI want a little bit from here,
and I want a live bit fromWill and Jada, just a little bit.
I may not want exactly what theygot, but what I do want
is their power in the industry thatI'm involved in. So I'm gonna put
a little sprig, a litt bitin there. I'm gonna get something from
Courtney b Vance and Angela Basset.I wanna put a little bit in there.
(39:20):
I'm gonna get Auntie and Uncle Lividfrom their marriage and put it in
there. And then I'm gonna takea little bit of Fantasia in her marriage
and put it in there, becauselet me tell y'all something, at the
end of the day, you areresponsible for what you have or what you
don't have. You are where yourattention lies. And if your attention lies
(39:40):
on the marriage of everybody else,accept yours. If your at tension lies
on the relationships of everybody else,accept yours. If your attention lies on
everybody else networks and bank accounts,accept yours. If your attention lies on
how other people look, and howthey dress, and how they children look,
and how long their hair is,and what they got or what they
(40:02):
don't got, and not you andyours. It is the reason why you
do not have it all. Youcan't have it all, But you don't
have it all because you keep givingall your energy, power and focus to
every damn thing is. But youdo you want the ships and sex life
of your dreams? Do you wantto be married? Do you want your
(40:23):
marriage better? Do you want abetter life? What's better? Define better?
Because it's one thing that the Smithshave done. They have better.
In spite of all this controversy,Will Smith just won another NACP Award for
a movie he just put out lastyear. People say he bomb it flopped.
He still want a damn award.He still made money, he still
(40:45):
made sure the crew got paid.I'm sorry. Flop it or not,
he still created an income for hisselfand his family. He still did what
he wanted to do in spite ofcontroversy. We all fuck up, we
all miss it. Just the worlddon't know about it. We just know
about his He did it on livedamn National TV. But at the end
(41:08):
of the day, y'all the powerof marriage, Will and Jada, we
can do power relationships, the powerof sexuality, whatever, and put whatever
name we want in these spots today. It just so happened to be Will
and Jada. Look at them,especially to you who don't like them no
more, don't or hate them andjust despise them. I want you to,
(41:32):
just if you take your focus,just for a second, take your
focus, look at them. Lookat them over decades. Look at what
they have created, look at whatthey have done. Whether you like them,
love them, don't matter, hatethem indifferent. Look at how they
live, free from all your thoughts, free from what you think of them.
(41:54):
And even if they do, theygot the money to go pay for
therapists and whatever. Jada created herown damn show so she can talk.
Go try to comment on her poston IG. You can't boo. She
said, oh no, we're gonnashut this now. Her husband left it
open her. She shut it down. You can't comment, We'll let you.
(42:16):
JEDD's like, I don't have to. I'm gonna be the last one
speaking on my post. That's power. We can all do it. What
is it that you want? Igot a whole book coming out. It's
gonna be a best I'm sorry,let me say it right. It's a
best seller. This is the podcastI said that, it's a best seller.
I'm creating it. What are yougoing to create in your life?
(42:38):
Are you gonna put your power,your energy, and your focus on creating
the ships and sex, life ofyour dreams, on becoming a millionaire or
having all your debts paid off,or turning situations around to what you love.
I'm done, y'all. I've done. I love y'all. I went
hard. This is me and mypassionateself. Voice can go up, can
(42:58):
go down, but this is all. It is me. Thank y'all for
tuning in today. The power ofmarriage, the power put it in there,
the power of what, the powerof what, power of your relationship,
the power of your money, thepower of your mentality, the power
of your focus, the power,the power of your creativity. You can
(43:19):
do this. You got this.Take some of that power, the energy,
and their strength and the focused awayfrom what they're doing and what other
people are doing and put it onyou. Put it on your life.
Build there, Start there, createthere. It's in you to do.
You see what you're doing. Haveyou ever been on a post, and
you've been going back and forth topeople and you get a lot of lights
to what you said. You mighthave some influence, you might have the
(43:44):
ability to speak to people. Soforget about it using their own celebrities and
talks and groups and posts. Howabout you put that to something that's going
to help change the world, helpchange somebody's life. Because guess what.
When I put all that energy fromwatching everybody respond, everybody comment on this,
(44:04):
I put it in a podcast that'sgonna be here. I put it
on a podcast that I can getpaid from. I put on a podcast
that's gonna bless and help somebody.I put on a podcast as someone who's
been unfocused can hear it, andnow they get they shit together and start
focusing. Y'all see what I'm saying. I'm here using the power, the
power that I have to change somelives, to change yours, to help
(44:28):
you, and I just help somebodytoday. Okay, Follow me everywhere on
social media at Octavia Evans. Ifyou are marrit in a relationship struggling to
come go to nine positions dot comn I n E positions dot com.
If you are single and want toknow what to ask a man before giving
him sex with your sexual self.Go to Thingswomen Should Acts dot com.
(44:51):
You can always find me on socialmedia at octavi Events or go to my
site octaviaevents dot com if you wantto just find all the stuff that I
got going on there. I loveyou. Thank you again for listening.
Please subscribe, sign up for mypodcast, and share. Share Share,
Share this to somebody who needs tofocus, who needs to hear this,
who needs to create this much love,
Welcome to the Ships and Sex Podcastswith your favorite sexologists Octavi Evans Akao Ev,
where I help high achieving women embrace, own and protect their sexuality in
order to create the ships and sexlife of their dreams without compromising their faith.
Uh they gone guns dray fanness todo this for life. Thank you
(00:25):
saying make gunstall will get it offfuture ship since seximon. Yeah, what's
up everyone? Thank you for tuningin to today's episode, The Power of
Marriage Will and Jada Pinkett Smith.I am so excited about this episode because
I've actually never done celebrity gossip andstuff like that. It's just not something
(00:47):
that I do or that I'm interestedin doing. But every now and again
I'm into hot topics like so manyof you. So I thought this is
coming at an appropriate time and agreat time to talk about some powerful points.
I thought this would be a greattime to talk about the power of
marriage and use the marriage of Willand Jada Pinkett Smith to get to my
(01:08):
point as a teaching moment for allof us who are so interested in marriage,
relationships, sex, all those things, the whole thing that this podcast
is about. So let's get intoit. Now let's talk about why I
decided to talk about them of allthings. So right now we're seeing lots
(01:32):
of different connotations going on, andfeedback and clap back and all those things
going on because of the new Netflixspecial. Finally Chris Rock came out and
decided to speak on the slap Heardaround the world. Right it's been about
a year, so I guess thisis the time that he wanted to talk
about it. So everybody has beengoing back and forth about his special.
(01:56):
I have not watched it, don'tintend to watch it either unless someone drive
me into watching it that's, youknow, really close to me and something
like that. I've just never beena really big Chris Rock fan. Has
nothing to do with what happened betweenhim and Will Smith. We all have
our famous comedians, and for me, he's just not one. So I
never really watched a lot of hisstand up anyway. But once again,
there is such a great divide withthis amongst so many people who's talking about
(02:19):
it, Team Will versus Team Chrisand all of that. And really the
foundation of all of this dealing withthe Smiths and even Chris Rock, is
the marriage of Will and Jada PinkettSmith. The powerful marriage of Will and
Jada Pinkett Smith. Why do Isay the marriage is powerful? Why is
(02:42):
their marriage so powerful? Why arewe talking about that? And the reason
why we're talking about that is becauseever since Will and Jada connected publicly,
they have been the talk of theworld. I remember, I'm gonna take
you a little bit down memory lanefrom my perspective all the way back to
(03:02):
when I was in single digits asa child, I heard of Will Smith.
I first knew of Will Smith asthe Fresh Prince, okay, and
he wasn't even at the forefront.It was DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh
Prince, the DJ and the rapper. Back when I was growing up,
that was the thing. Rappers hada known DJ behind them. What do
(03:27):
they call it, cuttings, mixing, scratching, all of that on the
ones and the twos, the Willsand Steels, something that I actually did
as well. So this is howI heard of them. And I was
actually a much bigger fan of DJJazzy Jeff because I wanted to be a
DJ, right that was my thing. I used to mix with cassette tapes
(03:47):
like six and seven years old,always recording over my dad tapes and stuff
like that. So I was sointo DJ Jazzy Jeff. Will Smith was
just a loan for the ride forme. I can't say that I thought
he was corny or lame, likea lot of people said, you know,
but I did think, yes,he was soft compared to all the
(04:09):
other rappers at the time, likeLl Cool, j Koom, Old Bolster
Rhymes, all of them. Whoeverwas I at that time, I thought
he was a bit soft if you'recomparing him to them. I didn't even
know his name was Will Smith.I first knew of him by way of
rap, by way of hip hop. That acting came years later, and
I was like, whoa, thisdude is acting. Okay, So I
(04:31):
watched The Fresh Prince of bearl Airjust like everybody else. But and I
still thought of Will Smith as justa soft, cool rapper who's now venturing
a little bit into acting. Wasglad to see he brought his boy DJ
Jazzy Jeff aboard on some of theepisodes, so that's all I thought of
(04:54):
it. He started being in movies, and I never thought of him as
this actor. I just really didn't. I still saw him as a rapper.
It wasn't until the movie Bad Boysthat I was like, oh my
god, he is fine. Iwent to see Bad Boy. In fact,
(05:14):
a team that was recruiting me outof time for basketball y'all used to
play, they took me to seeBad Boys on a recruiting trip. I
was so excited about seeing it becauseof Martin. I was a huge and
still is a huge Martin Lawrence fan, so I'm waiting to see Martin was
actually headlining, not Will Smith.I still wasn't into will In to the
(05:36):
movie until Will started running and thatshirt was open. I was like,
my god. In fact, Ithink he shocked several of us in the
theater because when they showed him runningkind of slowed down, everybody was like
whoa. So anyway, I waslike, okay, ah, he's an
actor. Okay, rapper slash actor, well, y'all. Following year he
(06:00):
did Independence Day What Vivica Fox.I was like, Hey, this man
is what suck? Then he didMinute Black. After that I was like,
okay, well check it for you. Will. Then he came out
with another rap album. By thistime he had done like two or three,
(06:20):
had won a Grammy. The firstrap act to Rent a Grammy,
which was DJ Jazz, Jeff andthe Fresh Prince. But this time it
was the first time he had everput out an album under his real name,
Will Smith. I was like,Okay, so he's taking this thing
serious. So now let me switchover to Jada. There's a reason why
(06:42):
I'm sharing all this with y'all.Okay, just follow me. Let's talk
about Jada Pinkett. Now. Iwasn't the biggest Will Smith fan, right
I listened to his music as achild. The biggest song he had back
then was Parents Just Don't Understand.A lot of parents hated it. I
used to hear my parents and otherpeople that came into their store talk about
how much they hate the song andhow these kids of the day don't understand.
(07:04):
But I loved it. And ofcourse they ended up winning a Grammy,
so that was big, and thealbum was a double album. A
lot of people wasn't doing that backthen, but Jada I became a fan
of hers from a different world.We came from watching The Cosby Show to
a different world right after. Andthen by the time the second or third
(07:28):
season of a different work, therewas Lena James. I loved me so
Lena James. That was Jada Pinkett. She was so tiny, she was
very direct up front, and shewas actually one of Dwayne Wayne's best students.
So I was big into Jada Pinkett. I wanted to find out everything
(07:48):
about her. I started following Jadain her acting career really strongly. So
she was in two movies that aretwo of my favorite movies to this day.
There are my top thirty movies ofall time. One of them is
A low down Dirty Shane. Y'alldon't care what y'all say. The Wayning's
(08:09):
brothers be Putting has put out amazingmovies and shows, and Keenan Ivory Waynings
is the man. He put outa lowdown Dirty Shane. I loved it.
Y'all go look at that movie upand check it out. Well.
Jada, to me, stole themovie. She literally was the funniest one.
And then she was in another favorite, Demon Nights. This was a
(08:31):
part of the Tales from the Cryptseries. I don't know if you'll ever
heard of Tales from the Crypt,but Tales from the Crypt used to have
these scary movies with a storyline alwayssomebody had to get God at the end
or learn a lesson. It's actuallyreally good, but it was kind of
scary, and that movie is phenomenalto me. I don't care what anyone
says. If you have never seenDemon Knights, please watch it. Jada
(08:54):
stole that movie as well. Ofcourse she ended up being the lead.
I was like, this chick isamazing. I want to see more from
her, and then boom. Setit Off came out the same year as
Will Smith was ending The Fresh Princeof bel Air the show and was in
(09:16):
Independence Day. Even though Bad Boyswas his breakout role. Independence Day made
him a worldwide superstar. And forJada she was in what would become a
cult classic and set it off withthe amazing Queen Latifa, the introduction of
(09:37):
the amazing Kimberly Elise, and ofcourse our Girl Vivica Fox Right. That
is also one of my favorite moviesto this day, in the top thirty.
So at this point Jada has beenin three of the top thirty movies
ever all time. For me,the next thing I know, they're together.
(09:58):
So what that did for or someonelike me who was a fan of
Jada Pinkett was it brought Will Stockup well, when he got with Jada,
I loved it. So they gottogether. Number One, they looked
good at hell together. Two,she made him look more desirable. I'm
just being real. She made himlook more desirable me because I thought,
okay, he looked really good andbad boys really good, and Independence Day
(10:22):
still wasn't one over with he thecool guy because it still wasn't cussing this
rapid he because of the movies.I understand that, but okay, but
when he got with her, Iwas like, oooh, I love seeing
them everywhere. Every time I lookedup entertainment tonight that they were every magazine.
Oh my god, Will and Jadaeverywhere. Hollywood loved them, The
(10:43):
world loved them. Black community reallyloved them. Okay, y'all, I've
given you all little detail. Nowwe know Will Smith was married before,
and at this point his marriage wasending. They got together. Next thing,
you know, Will Smith did avideo just the two of us.
On that album I was telling youabout that. He came out instead of
(11:03):
the Fresh Prince. It was underWill Smith. That album was dope.
It had just the two of uson it. One of my favorite songs
on the CD. I think thealbum was big Willy style. Anyway,
The point is he did a song. The biggest part about the song was
the video. I'm watching the video, I'm singeing Will and little Trey,
and I was like, oh mygod, they're just so cute. Towards
(11:26):
the end of that video, y'allpretty asked, Jada is pregnant, sitting
across that chair. He's touching herbelly, She's suching her belly. I'm
screaming like, Jada is pret bad. So they was already merrit at this
point, and they were the itcouple in Hollywood. So the only thing
(11:48):
I wanted was for them to last. They kept doing amazing things in the
industry. Loved it. Jade's borna couple of years later, Willow is
born, Trey is growing up ina blended family. It was a beautiful
thing. Every time you saw them, it was just all love. No
one could top them on the redcarpet, and I mean no one.
(12:11):
There was not a celebrity couple outthat time that could top Will and Jada.
Everybody was looking for them. Jadawould have rocked that short hair,
long hair, midhair, everything,and he was always praising her. The
way they looked at each other wasso intense. You could tell they just
couldn't wait to get the cameras off, to get it on. I mean
you could feel it. And themusic that they made together, Like when
(12:35):
he made the song on one ofthose albums called Chasing Forever, it was
one of my favorite Will smith songs. I was like, Okay, I'm
starting to really like Will now.And then I loved a thousand kisses Jada
saying in there a little bit.I love that they was dancing the video
she directed one of his videos.It was just so much they was collabing.
And the thing that I loved aboutit is Jada was pretty much already
(12:56):
rich when they got married. Shedidn't necessarily need Will's money. But of
course Will had the most money,right, but they were both multimillionaires.
He just had way more because atthis point, Will Smiths getting paid twenty
million a movie. All that beingsaid, their marriage literally transformed the way
we looked at marriage. Like alot of us are already talking about we
(13:18):
want to get married and all ofthat, but it became we want a
marriage like Will and Jada. Theybecame the couple people rapped about in their
songs or talked about if it ain'tgonna be like Will and Jada, I
don't want it. I want tolove like Will and Jada. I want
to be the Jada to your Will. I want to be the Will to
your Jada. I'm telling you.They were everywhere in people's minds, thoughts,
(13:45):
their mouths, their CD players,everywhere. This is before social media,
y'all. They were a force tobe wreckoned with. And oh when
they went on Oprah, it wasowned. She had them bad again and
again and again. I think theywere on there like three times. I
(14:05):
remember one of the first times theywas on there was really real. But
then she eventually brought each one ofthem out, and I think Willow was
maybe four, maybe five. Thenthey came out again, and the more
they talked on interviews and on shows, people did kind of go, you
know, oh, they let theirchildren say what they want and kind of
(14:33):
do what they want. Okay,no spanking, okay, no whoopings,
Okay. These people black. Butwe honestly had never really heard black families
talk like that. First of all, nobody was really interested in the entire
black family four and outside of likebefore my time, Martin Luther King's family,
(15:00):
Malcolm X's family. But as faras like in the camera eye,
what family do you remember that?We were just so interested and learn about
unless they were a fake family onTV like The Cosby Show. We were
interested in The Cosby Show, butthey was not a real family, right,
But everybody wanted to talk to Willand Jada and their children. Then
(15:22):
they got to the point where theywanted to talk to his ex wife.
They were like a big thing.They changed so much when it came to
Hollywood and celebrity and all of that, and Will Smith could do no wrong.
Well, people that didn't grow upin the times of knowing real Will
Smith was a rapper saw him asa movie star. Then as time went
(15:46):
on, people began to see himas a motivational speaker. Like my children
do not know Will Smith as WillSmith or the fresh Prince of bel Air.
They know him as Jade and Smith'sdaddy, the little boy that was
in the Karate Kid. That's howmy children know of Will Smith. But
anyway, so they changed the dynamicof what celebrity marriage is. When you
(16:08):
look up and saw that they've beenmarried for thirteen years, I never forget
that that was like a big thing. But their interviews just kept getting a
little weirder and weirder, Like Iremember before they If memory serves me correctly,
I think this was either before Jadenwas born or shortly after. But
they were on the cover of Essencemagazine, and trust me, I still
(16:32):
have all these magazines whenever I wouldsee Will and Jada on the cover,
baby, I bought the magazine.In this particular Essence magazine, they had
asked Jada a question about sex,and she said something I do not remember
the exact quote. I'm sure itcan't be found online, but I'm gonna
paraphrase here. She said, makinglove to Will is like making love to
(16:56):
a woman. And I remember saying, what you scir what do we What
are you saying, Jada? Doyou know they would say things like that,
like the more and more they talked, the weirder I thought it was.
I'm gonna be real with you.I had never heard a lot of
the things they said before, soyeah, I begin to feel that way.
(17:19):
And then she explained and said hewas very sensitive to her needs,
he was emotionally available, things Ihadn't really heard before, and the way
he held her and his sensitivity andall of that, and I was like,
oh, so then I would letmy friends read it because they didn't
want to buy a magazine or whatever, and so they read mine. They
were like, oh, I wanta man like that, and we all
wanted a Will Smith. Right.Anyway, when I saw them on Oprah
(17:44):
for that second or third time,I noticed the pedestal. Like sometimes you're
so into people you don't notice thatyou're putting them on a pedestal, right,
But it was in that interview.I think they had on pretty much
all white if I can remember correctly. I'm sure these be looked up on
YouTube. I was like, wow, I see the pedestal. They got
(18:06):
a stand in ovation when they cameout on this particular episode of OPRAH.
He talked about how he was aChristian, and he went down the line
of saying what each of the membersof the family were as far as spiritually,
and nobody else was a Christian buthim. You see what I mean
about how things got weirder and weirder. I was just like, these are
(18:29):
some very interesting people. And asthe children got older, their interviews got
a little more weirder to me too. I remember this interviewer was asking Willow
and Jaden questions. They answered,the sun, the moon, the lilies
of the field. Y'all making itup. But that's how it came to
me. I was like, whatare they talking about? But I was
(18:55):
like, okay. So there hadall always been rumors pretty much shortly after
they were either married or together,that they had an open relationship. In
fact, I have a magazine calledSister Sister where Jamie she's the editor in
(19:15):
chief of the magazine, maybe thecreator of the magazine. Even if I
can remember correctly, she asked aquestion to Will and Jada about them having
an open marriage. Now, letme get the story as straight as I
can remember. At the time,I believe they was doing this interview by
phone, and Will and Jada wereon a plane and Will was sleep so
(19:38):
questions were being asked to Jada andshe was answering, and then when it
came to the open marriage part,Jada began to respond, and then she
said, let me get Willed.And then when she said Will wake up,
Jamie got a question or da dadada. That was you could read
all of that. So it waslike her interviews took you there. You
(20:00):
were in the moment, you werethere with them or watching or silently participating
in interviews. That's what I lovedabout her interviews. She's still no social
media, so her interviews were greatand this one was too. And when
she gave the explanation of what anopen marriage is, and he even gave
some input, Basically, I waslike, Okay, so if it ever
(20:22):
gets to the point where they wantto be with others, they're mature enough
to do so. They got tobe able to look at each other in
the eye. Things like that.I was like, oh, okay,
this is differend. Okay. Sothat was late nineties, y'all. That
was late nineties, so that rumorhad been out there for years. People
(20:48):
even took to another level begin tosay they were swingers. But I didn't
hear people really hating on them.I didn't hear people didn't like them.
I didn't hear people talking down aboutthem. They were still Black America's couple,
Black America's family. Then social mediacomes along. Before video got really
really popular, before Will Smith hada YouTube account, maybe even before he
(21:11):
had an IG account, they hadFacebook. So I remember following pretty much
all of them on the Facebook,especially Jada. I loved her content.
Her posts were always inspirational and veryinspiring. Some of them was like okay,
Jada, Okay, I don't know, but we'll go with that,
or I just won't share that,and I would share some of her posts.
(21:32):
Actually. Remember I was more ofa fan of Jada than I was
of Will, so I shared herstuff even though I was also following her
husband. But all this time,they're Black America's favorite couple, Black America's
favorite family. Even when Will Smithand Eminem had beef, Will smith thing
(21:52):
was write one verse without a curse, and he was rhyming, and Eminem
was like, Will Smith don't haveto cuss in his music. I do
F Will and F you two.I have to admit that was dope.
That was before clapbacks were clapbacks,and it was dope. But I love
what Will said in his rap.Remember I always thought it was kind of
(22:12):
soft and just entertaining, but hecame with it in that he said something
I forgot what making MC great?Let me see if I can get it
in order. I'm going by memory, y'all. Is it the cars Bentley?
Is it the money twenty meal?Because at the time he was making
twenty mel at least twenty million amovie. He said, is it the
women? He said, Jada,And then they said is it something and
(22:36):
he said please. I wish Icould find the lyrics or the song,
but that's what I remember. Iremember me and some friends was watching.
I never forget it. This isearly two thousand at this point, and
I was like, who we were? Just like whoa that was called?
Like that was one of the firstor second times. Only when it came
to Will Smith, I was like, God, listen to his you know,
like we say bars now, butI was listening to them ron right.
(23:00):
So I'm sharing all this to say, look at the power that came
with them getting married. Will Smithhad been married to a different woman who
was also beautiful, had a veryhandsome little son. They would go out
on red carpets together, and itwas not very powerful compared to when Will
(23:25):
got with Jada. Will had alwayssaid he realized, like when he reconnected
with Jada, because she tried outfor the fresh Prince and didn't get the
part. When he reconnected with her, he said, he realized he was
married to the wrong person or thator basically she was the one he was
supposed to be with. That's whathe said. He had always said that
from the beginning. There was somuch power that came with them getting together,
(23:48):
the power of their marriage, apowerful marriage that it's got you right
now. The whole world been talkingabout them all these years, the majority
of the years of their marriage,the talks about them have been overwhelmingly positive,
overwhelmingly loving, overwhelmingly kind, dope. But these last few years they've
(24:18):
been so kind. No more.People now literally hate Jada Pinkin. I
hate even using the word hate witheither of their names behind it. People
literally hate her men and women,but with men for some reason that they
have a strong hatred for this woman. I have seen grown ass men actually
(24:41):
say f Jada pink and Smith.F Jada. Call her a b call
her a whole, call her demonic, call her a witch. I have
seen so many vile comments about thiswoman. I never would have imagined this
(25:02):
in a million years. Not theway America, especially Black America, loved
this family, love this couple.They were with Will and Jada when all
was scientology rumors were going about.From the open marriage rumors going on,
we all knew about Jada and Pac, just like we know about Pac and
(25:23):
Left Eye and Pak and Kadadai andPoc and Madonna and so many. Pac
was tied to so many women,so we didn't think nothing of it.
It's like, oh my gosh,she chose Will because Pop died. That's
not the story we remember. That'snot the story we got. We had
actually never heard that they were romantic. There are actually people who have platonic
(25:45):
friendships, and we always thought itwas that. In fact, I remember
when there was a time around inthe late nineties, well in the nineties
in general, but especially around thelate nineties, there's so many celebrities.
Black celebrities were getting talk shows,and one of them was Keenan Ivy Wayning's.
He had a show and I'll neverforget he had Jada Pinkett on there.
(26:06):
I think this was before, rightbefore she got married or right after,
No, it's right before. Itwas right before she got married.
And they showed a video of Tupacand Jada Pinkett dancing and rapping to parents,
just don't understand by the fresh Prince, who was Will Smith. We
(26:26):
were laughing at me and a friendwas watching. I never forget we were
laughing at that, like cause wewere laughing at the hairstyles, the way
the pants came up like urkle,I think we said. And it was
just an amazing interview. Y'all couldlook this up on YouTube somewhere, but
we actually watched it live because weused to wait on keenan Ivory Waying Hiss
show. We loved it along withthe Vibe magazine. He had a show,
(26:48):
Magic Johnson had a show. Therewere three different black celebrities doing talk
shows and we were like hare forright. So even when she talked about
Pak, she talked about him passionately, but that was Jada. Jada talked
about Will more passionately. Like whenshe would talk about people that she loved,
she always talked about them passionately.When she would talk about her co
(27:14):
stars or set it off, y'alllook at old interviews, she would praise
them so much and just be sopassionate about I understood that. I could
feel that. That's why I'm sucha fan, because I don't you hear
I'm talking. When I'm talking aboutthings, I'm so passionate as well too.
When people go back and look atthis old stuff ced there and see
there, look there. I'm like, I don't know what the hell y'all
looking for. But she never evershot away from talking about Pap. She
(27:37):
talked about him passionately. But didy'all watch all the old videos of her
and Will? Oh my god,they look like they can keep their hands
off each other. They would kidseverywhere. You knew it was real.
You could feel it through the TV. But people say, now they don't
even love Look look how they're They'refired and went out. They don't even
(28:00):
love each other. They've been togetherover twenty some years, y'all expect it
to be the same as ninety seven. Look out of here, like,
let's be realistic around here. Withall of that being said, they have
one of the most powerful marriages becausethey got the entire world literally talking about
them, and they had the entireworld talking about them for the last two
(28:26):
damn decades. That's power. Thereare so many other celebrities married, Denzel
and his wife been married longer.No one talks about them too as much
as they talk about Will and Jada. Even before the world turned on them,
as they say, as the worldturns, Even before the world turned
on them, no one was talkingabout Denzel and his wife like that.
(28:48):
Samuel Jackson and his wife been marriedfor a long ass time. No one
was talking about their marriage and theirfamily like that. No one was talking
about Denzel and his family like that. No one was talking about George Mathis
and his family like that. BeforeBernie Mack died, nobody was talking about
him and his family like that.Steve Harvey and his family, y'all won't
talk about him and his family likethat. Y'all talk about his daughter like
(29:11):
that. The world talks about hisdaughter, Laurie Harvey, the one he
adopted, but y'all won't talking abouteven y'all won't even talk about them like
that. You can come up withany black couple that's been married for a
long time, are still married.The world wasn't talking about them like that.
Will and Jada Smith love him,hate them, indifferent, have a
(29:33):
very powerful marriage. The moment theyconnected and got together, everybody was talking
about them, everybody was checking forthem, everybody was loving on them.
And now everybody's either loving on themor hating on them. That's powerful,
that's power, because guess what's happening. The more time you comment on social
(29:56):
media posts, comment on you tubevideos. Take time out of your day
to respond and go back and forthwith people. Your energy and your power
is going towards them. That's somepowerful shit. Give them their props.
(30:18):
They have truly earned it from justbeing their damn selves. That's all they're
doing is being who they are.They got y'all talking, They take your
energy, they take your power.In fact, let me clear it up.
You give them your energy, Yougive them your power like I'm doing
(30:40):
right now. But I have aplatform, so I'm gonna be talking,
but most of y'all do not.You spend your time and your energy talking
about people you've never met, don'tknow, you don't even know them.
All you know is what the worldhas said about them. And you may
say, well, no, Iknow what they said of what they chose
(31:00):
to share with you. You reallydon't know what goes on in that house.
You really don't know what goes onin their marriage. You really don't
know what goes on in that family. All you know is what they choose
to show you. Same with me, All you know is what I choose
to show you. There are manythings in my marriage I am for sure.
(31:22):
IF's public, you would have aproblem with it. I don't give
a damn, but still you're notprivy to it unless I'm ready to share
it. And that's the thing aboutWill and Jada. They've always been willing
Jada, even though they have evolved. If you go back down my memory
timeline of them, which is whyI'm gave it to you that I shared
(31:44):
with y'all of them, I said, what did I say? Jada has
always spoke her mind. Whatever shewas asked in interview, she often would
answer, She's always spoke up.Of a tiny, small person, she's
always spoke up. That's what Iliked about her. Angela Bassett been in
(32:07):
the industry for decades. She marriedCourtney b Vance, was also on Oprah.
Wrote a book. I believe itbecame a bestseller. I'm not sure.
It was called Friends, a LoveStory. Nobody talked about her and
her family like that, her andher marriage like that. It was Will
and Jada. We can do thisall day. There's only one other.
(32:30):
Now, there are other couples thatthe world gave their energy and power to.
Honey and thank god it was nosocial media, because baby, they
probably would have been talked about waymore than Will and Jada, and that
was Bobby and Whitney. Baby.When I say, wherever they talked about
(32:50):
Will and Jada, Bobby and Whitneywas the alternate tid. Bobby and Whitney
was in the alternate universe. Nobodywas really talking about, I want to
love like Bobby and Whitney. Iwant to love like Whitney and Bobby.
They was talking about, I wantto love like Will and Jada. Everybody
wanted their marriage. The way theylooked at each other, the power that
(33:15):
they exuded. You could feel itbefore social media in their interviews. Right.
Even my husband and I were fansbecause my husband but he was actually
a fan of Will Smith before Jada, whereas I was a fan of Jada
before I was a fan of WithSmith. So we got together. What's
(33:37):
the couple that we talked about,the couple that we wanted something from,
meaning we want to take some thingsfrom the marriage, Like we was like,
we love the intensity of their marriage, and we had that. We've
had that, right, we're goingon two decades of marriage. So what
y'all what people saw in the beginningof our marriage, you don't really see
the day you see an extension ofthat we've evolved, and you know when
(34:00):
it's yummy yummy in the beginning,you know the honeymoon stage and phase is
over and it comes back and goesaway, it comes back along the lines
of marriage whatever. But that power, Oh, I love it. I
love it. I'm not here toreally give an opinion on them today.
I'm not here to really talk aboutwhat I think of them and what they've
(34:21):
done and all those things. WhatI'm here is to talk about the power
of marriage, and they're just thesubjects of today. I might make this
a segment that I do every timein my podcast where I talk about the
power of marriage. Because their marriagehas impacted the entire world in one way,
shape or form. That's freaking power. What's good about that everything?
(34:45):
Some of y'all can't even go tosleep from talking about them people, whether
yet love them or hate them,whether you agree with them or you disagree
with them. Some of you can'teven go get off a post and go
back to work and be on time. Some of you can't even use that
energy to follow your own dreams.Some of you can't even use that energy
to create the ships and sex lifeof your dreams because you're too busy giving
(35:07):
energy to their marriage, to theirlives, to their family. Oh my
god, you might be obsessed.What's my point. If you put as
much energy as you put into liftingpeople up on pedestals, take some of
the energy back and put it intocreating what you want in life, then,
(35:30):
as my previous episode says, youcan have it all. Because baby,
from what I see, Will andJada got it all. They not
only have the money or the power. While people were talking about Chris Rock
and Will and Jada and all ofthat, I actually saw people going on
Will Smith's post when he was postingof other people and lifting them up and
(35:53):
giving them their flowers and shouting themout like the Creed movie and Jamie Fox.
I saw people in the comments saying, yeah, hey, Will,
you've seen that Chris Rock that Netflixspecial. People was like, yeah,
Chris Rock, Creed you in theNetflix special. And you know, I'm
watching these people go back and forthon social media, and I'm like,
(36:16):
I said, I got some time, this is good content to share.
I got some time. Let meread some things, let me troll a
little bit, even I had Isaid in the true comments to people who
felt so strongly like I saw peoplesay comments like I hate your ass man,
you are pump man. I waslike, damn, Will Smith did
one bad thing in his entire lifepublicly a year ago, and people hate
(36:40):
this man. That means the powerthat they've been having and that he has
had over people. They ain't reallylike him. When I see what said,
I used to like, well,don't like that's a damn lie.
Most of these people didn't really likeWill They thought he was laming corny.
They didn't think he deserved the lifethat he creaked ate it, so they
were just waiting. If you evenlook in the comments on these poets when
(37:05):
they say Chris Rock worked from theground up, Will Smith had everything given
to him. No read his book. He created it, not saying Chris
Rock didn't. But you're trying tocompare something you can't compare. They both
created their lives from wherever they wasfrom What are you creating in yours?
The power of marriage Will and Jadais so powerful. This is the kind
(37:27):
of power you want in your life, creating the ships and sex life of
your dreams. Instead of complaining aboutwhy your marriage ain't what you wanted to
be about why your husband ain't doingthis, or why your wife ain't doing
that? Or why your children notthis? And why they't not that?
How about you use that power energythat you have for celebrities are the strong
(37:51):
power and energy you keep given totopics on Will and Jada and create manifest
some shit change your life up aboutthat. People should be getting energy and
inspired about you. Because I'm lookingat Will and Jada and I'm like,
shit, what do I need tobe creating for this kind of power?
(38:13):
Not to be like them? Butwhat can I take? My daddy always
told me eat the meat and throwthe bones away. I don't need everything
off Will and Jada's played a marriage. I don't need everything off Denzel and
his wife's play the marriage. Butif there is something going on in my
marriage that needs to be fixed,I'm gonna look at examples of marriages out
(38:35):
there. I'm gonna take a littlebit from each one. I'm gonna throw
it in the pot. I'm gonnamix it up, and I'm gonna create
that shit for my own. I'mgonna put my energy and my time and
my focus in creating my life,my marriage, my sex, life,
my money. You can take alittle bit and put it in a ball.
(38:59):
You can look at MoMA and Daddyand say, I may not want
exactly Mamma and daddy marriage, butI want a little bit from here,
and I want a live bit fromWill and Jada, just a little bit.
I may not want exactly what theygot, but what I do want
is their power in the industry thatI'm involved in. So I'm gonna put
a little sprig, a litt bitin there. I'm gonna get something from
Courtney b Vance and Angela Basset.I wanna put a little bit in there.
(39:20):
I'm gonna get Auntie and Uncle Lividfrom their marriage and put it in
there. And then I'm gonna takea little bit of Fantasia in her marriage
and put it in there, becauselet me tell y'all something, at the
end of the day, you areresponsible for what you have or what you
don't have. You are where yourattention lies. And if your attention lies
(39:40):
on the marriage of everybody else,accept yours. If your at tension lies
on the relationships of everybody else,accept yours. If your attention lies on
everybody else networks and bank accounts,accept yours. If your attention lies on
how other people look, and howthey dress, and how they children look,
and how long their hair is,and what they got or what they
(40:02):
don't got, and not you andyours. It is the reason why you
do not have it all. Youcan't have it all, But you don't
have it all because you keep givingall your energy, power and focus to
every damn thing is. But youdo you want the ships and sex life
of your dreams? Do you wantto be married? Do you want your
(40:23):
marriage better? Do you want abetter life? What's better? Define better?
Because it's one thing that the Smithshave done. They have better.
In spite of all this controversy,Will Smith just won another NACP Award for
a movie he just put out lastyear. People say he bomb it flopped.
He still want a damn award.He still made money, he still
(40:45):
made sure the crew got paid.I'm sorry. Flop it or not,
he still created an income for hisselfand his family. He still did what
he wanted to do in spite ofcontroversy. We all fuck up, we
all miss it. Just the worlddon't know about it. We just know
about his He did it on livedamn National TV. But at the end
(41:08):
of the day, y'all the powerof marriage, Will and Jada, we
can do power relationships, the powerof sexuality, whatever, and put whatever
name we want in these spots today. It just so happened to be Will
and Jada. Look at them,especially to you who don't like them no
more, don't or hate them andjust despise them. I want you to,
(41:32):
just if you take your focus,just for a second, take your
focus, look at them. Lookat them over decades. Look at what
they have created, look at whatthey have done. Whether you like them,
love them, don't matter, hatethem indifferent. Look at how they
live, free from all your thoughts, free from what you think of them.
(41:54):
And even if they do, theygot the money to go pay for
therapists and whatever. Jada created herown damn show so she can talk.
Go try to comment on her poston IG. You can't boo. She
said, oh no, we're gonnashut this now. Her husband left it
open her. She shut it down. You can't comment, We'll let you.
(42:16):
JEDD's like, I don't have to. I'm gonna be the last one
speaking on my post. That's power. We can all do it. What
is it that you want? Igot a whole book coming out. It's
gonna be a best I'm sorry,let me say it right. It's a
best seller. This is the podcastI said that, it's a best seller.
I'm creating it. What are yougoing to create in your life?
(42:38):
Are you gonna put your power,your energy, and your focus on creating
the ships and sex, life ofyour dreams, on becoming a millionaire or
having all your debts paid off,or turning situations around to what you love.
I'm done, y'all. I've done. I love y'all. I went
hard. This is me and mypassionateself. Voice can go up, can
(42:58):
go down, but this is all. It is me. Thank y'all for
tuning in today. The power ofmarriage, the power put it in there,
the power of what, the powerof what, power of your relationship,
the power of your money, thepower of your mentality, the power
of your focus, the power,the power of your creativity. You can
(43:19):
do this. You got this.Take some of that power, the energy,
and their strength and the focused awayfrom what they're doing and what other
people are doing and put it onyou. Put it on your life.
Build there, Start there, createthere. It's in you to do.
You see what you're doing. Haveyou ever been on a post, and
you've been going back and forth topeople and you get a lot of lights
to what you said. You mighthave some influence, you might have the
(43:44):
ability to speak to people. Soforget about it using their own celebrities and
talks and groups and posts. Howabout you put that to something that's going
to help change the world, helpchange somebody's life. Because guess what.
When I put all that energy fromwatching everybody respond, everybody comment on this,
(44:04):
I put it in a podcast that'sgonna be here. I put it
on a podcast that I can getpaid from. I put on a podcast
that's gonna bless and help somebody.I put on a podcast as someone who's
been unfocused can hear it, andnow they get they shit together and start
focusing. Y'all see what I'm saying. I'm here using the power, the
power that I have to change somelives, to change yours, to help
(44:28):
you, and I just help somebodytoday. Okay, Follow me everywhere on
social media at Octavia Evans. Ifyou are marrit in a relationship struggling to
come go to nine positions dot comn I n E positions dot com.
If you are single and want toknow what to ask a man before giving
him sex with your sexual self.Go to Thingswomen Should Acts dot com.
(44:51):
You can always find me on socialmedia at octavi Events or go to my
site octaviaevents dot com if you wantto just find all the stuff that I
got going on there. I loveyou. Thank you again for listening.
Please subscribe, sign up for mypodcast, and share. Share Share,
Share this to somebody who needs tofocus, who needs to hear this,
who needs to create this much love,
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.