20. The Power of Marriage: Dwayne Wade & Gabrielle Union

Former Pro Basketball Player Dwayne Wade and Popular Actress Gabrielle Union were both previously married to others, yet the super power they possess today didn't come until they connected with and eventually married each other. Together they've change a lot of the public's view on gender even when it seem, most don't agree. They have a marriage that many love and many hate but one thing you can't deny is the power they exude since connecting. So what is that to you?

Listen in as Your Favorite Sexologist shares what you can learn from the power of their marriage whether you love ''em or not, agree with them or not and apply it to your plan in creating the 'Ships n SexLife of Your Dreams.

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Welcome to the Ships and Sex Podcastswith your favorite sexologists Octavi Evans Akao Ev,
where I help high achieving women embrace, own and protect their sexuality in
order to create the ships and sexlife of their dreams without compromising their faith.
Uh they gone guns drag famous todo this for life. Thank you

(00:25):
saying make guns day will get itoff future the ship since sex Moon.
Yeh, we's so well. Sowe'll thank you for tuning in to today's
episode, which is number twenty,The Power of Marriage the Wayne Wade and
Gabrielle Union. Yes yes, yes, yes. So if you haven't listened
to the previous episode that I didon the Power of Marriage with Will and

(00:47):
Jada, I advise you to stopthis podcast right now and go listen to
that one first so you can getan idea of the journey I'm going to
be going on when I talk aboutcelebrity couples are celebrity people in general.
Okay, I think it'd be beneficial. I mean, you can go ahead
and listee this, but I wouldavice you to go back and listen to
that one first so you can seethe little journey that we're going on and
possibly where we're going to end up. So, as I said in the

(01:11):
previous episode on the Power of Marriage, I said, this would be like
a little series that I would dowhen I want to share something that I've
seen are the effect of these particularpeople who are married and how the same
way I started the Will and Jadaepisode of the Power of Marriage, I'm
going to do the same thing withDwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union. I'm going
to start first with going down memorylane, my memory lane that is,

(01:36):
and share with you all what Iremember when I first heard of each of
these individuals who became a powerful marriedcouple. So the first time I ever
heard of Dwayne Wade was when hewas playing basketball at the college Marquette.
I was one who was very muchinstill him into basketball. I played it

(01:57):
all my life, pretty much untilI got to the point where I was
having children. So I was anavid basketball fan and have been and still
is to a certain degree. Well, Dwayne Wade was that Marquette. I
was a fan. He was sogood and I think they started calling him
the Flash. He was such agood basketball player, y'all. He was
phenomenal and at the time he waswith who became his first wife. They

(02:22):
were living together on campus if Ican remember correctly. If not, then
they were living with her mom.I think they were both living there,
and they eventually had a little babytogether, and so I thought they were
like a really cute couple. Likeit's always cool to see men who take
care of their children if they havethem earlier outside of wedlock. So I

(02:44):
thought that was cute when they wouldshow little clips of them together and him
with his son, and so itwas so cute. So I was a
fan. So he came out ofMarquette and of course he was drafted by
the Heat. I believe it wasthe two thousand and three NBA draft.
Dwayne Wade I believe came out fifth. So that's huge, that's big.
That's multimillion dollar contracts. So heinstantly became a superstar player with the Miami

(03:06):
Heat because he instantly transformed them,y'all. Within three years of being drafted,
he won his first NBA title.He was hot, and he was
so cute because the year that hewon his NBA title was also the second
year Shaq had been playing for theHeat. This was after Shaq was traded
from the Lakers, which broke myheart because I've been a Laker all my
life and I was a huge Kobeand Shaq fan, more Shack than Kobe,

(03:30):
and I followed Shack wherever he went, way back from his LSU days.
So I've been a fan of Shaqliterally since Little Girl. So he
won his first NBA title in twothousand and six, I think that was
just three years into the league,so he was hot. He at this

(03:51):
point had had another child. Soat this point he had two boys with
his wife, and they looked goodtogether on the red carpet. Y'all.
Some people didn't think she stood out, but right now you're hearing about Lebron
James and Savannah James and a lotof people didn't think she stood out either
until recently. So Tomato to modelanyway. So just like that, basically,

(04:12):
this man was on top of theworld and we didn't really know that.
I can remember that there were problemswithin his marriage. The next thing
we know, we saw him withGabby Union. I think they met around
two thousand and seven at a SuperBowl party they were both co hosting,
and of course Dwyane Wade was stillmarried at the time to his first wife.

(04:33):
Y'all, I forget how to sayher name. I don't know if
it's Savann. I don't want tomess it up. But I don't think
anyone thought anything of them hosting aSuper Bowl or co hosting a Super Bowl
party together. Things like that happenedall with time amongst celebrities, so it's
nothing big. It wasn't until aboutI think maybe two thousand and nine,

(04:53):
after the season was over, thatthey began to be seen together at different
events and he was still married.Now, this is the NBA. Normally,
when men date others or with otherwomen, it's kept on the lo
lo. But at that point,Dwayne Wade was still married. Looked like
it looked like to us that hewas dating Gabby, which ended up being

(05:15):
true. But basically my feelings aboutDwayne Wade at the time, person that
I've of course never met, butI was definitely a fan. My team
was still the Lakers, Kobe's stillplaying for the Lakers, Shaq is playing
for the Heat. You begin tosee more and more, of course,
of Dwayne Wade and Gabby with Lebronand Savannah, along with Chris Bosh and
his wife. But the year westarted seeing Gabby and Dwayne together. Later

(05:39):
that same year, he filed fordivorce from his wife. Okay. Now,
Dwayne and Gabby did not get marriedofficially until twenty fourteen, Okay,
but they first met in two thousandand seven, and then they first started
dating that if I can remember correctly, in two thousand and nine, so

(06:00):
they became in it couple when theystarted being seen a lot in two thousand
and nine. A lot of peopledidn't seem to care that he had been
married or was still married when itgot together. Probably pretty common. Now,
let's go to Gabrielle Union. BecauseGabby came out back in the nineties,
like literally, she was on Friends. She was on some of everything,
though I believe she was the meangirl on Sister's Sister Believe. She

(06:23):
was also on the episodes of Moesha. I believe she was also on the
episodes of possibly The Parkers. I'mnot sure about that, but she was
some of everywhere. So it wasn'tuntil the movie Bring It On with Kirsten
Dunt, who was really popular atthe time, that I believe Gabby started
coming to the forefront. She hadhad bits and pieces on different shows and

(06:46):
whatnot. But it was the movieBringing On where she was brought more so
to the forefront. This is whereshe began to get a popularity amongst her
culture. So after that we startedseeing her more and more. The time
two thousand and three, twenty yearsago hit, Gabby was in a movie
called deliver Us from Eva. Gabbyjust looked amazing. She would later come

(07:11):
out and talk about how she wasoften teased for her body because she wasn't
the curvy, shapeley type. Shesaid her hips were like up and down
or whatever. We didn't know that. She also was on the Oprah during
all of this going on. Sheappeared on the episode of Oprah where she
talked about she had been raped becausethe first time had ever heard that story,
so definitely was empathetic and sympathetic asone who has also been raped.

(07:33):
So that was a big thing forme to hear how she got over that.
But she was also in another moviecalled Too Can Play That Game before
deliver Us from Eva. Actually,and in this movie. Back then,
you would get DVDs right and Bluray players were just coming to the market.
But on the DVDs, it dependingon which DVD you purchased. You

(07:58):
would get commentary on that DVD,and I watched it several times where they
were talking to each one of thecats of the main cast, and Gabby
had happened to be one. Sheplayed like a mean girl, and there
two. She was basically known forplaying mean girls. But this part that
I'm sharing with y'all's actually very relevantto what I'll be sharing her here today.
At the time, during the filmingof that movie, she was married.

(08:22):
She was married to a football playerat the time. I didn't know
him very well. I think hisname was Chris something. I can't remember
the name, y'all. I'm tellingyou, I don't know that man.
But in the interview that they weredoing, Gabby was talking about how she
was crazy in love with her husbandand that she would drink his dirty bathwater

(08:43):
and she loves picking up his stinkyjars. I'd never forget her saying it
because I was like, oh,I would love hearing things like that because
it was intense to me, andI love intense love because that's one of
the ways I love. So Iloved hearing her say that, and she
just was she just lit up talkingabout that man. Contrary to what y'all
today when she brings him up,which has just been recently, you never
really heard her talk about that.In fact, I was shocked that people

(09:07):
didn't know she had been married before. People actually thought Dwayne Wade was her
first husband. And I guess wetend to know more about those we follow
more closely than others, so maybethat was why. But she was crazy
about that man, according to whatshe said in that interview. So I
was like, okay, So thenshe's been in all of these movies.
She's popular. She's actually one ofthe it girls in Hollywood. Her and

(09:31):
Jada actually had issues, they claim, I think when they talked about it
on the Red Table Talk, theydon't remember what the issue was. But
that was a big thing for theRed Table Talk because a lot of us
were looking forward to seeing that,thinking we was gonna finally find out what
was the issue between them. Butit was really like, Okay, it's
nice to see good looking people onthe Red Table Talk talking whatever, because

(09:54):
we were going to listen, right. But yeah. One of the things
that I liked about Gabby was,like Jada, she was well spoken.
She would speak her mind, maybenot to the extent of Jada maybe or
maybe she did, but I likedit. I always liked women who would
speak their mind, who didn't necessarilyhold back. That was just the thing
for me. I love women whostand for what they believe in and they

(10:18):
speak out and they're not afraid thatjust because they're a woman, and a
black woman at that are a minoritywoman. They're not afraid to stand in
the face of fire, speak outall of that good stuff. So that's
why I was a fan and havebeen a fan of Gabby for years.
And also Gabby was gorgeous. Shewas also two thousand and three was a

(10:39):
big year for her. She wasalso in Bad Boys two, which was
a huge blockbuster over the first one. She played along with DMX, who
was huge in hip hop at thattime. He was getting a lot of
roles. Everybody knew he was comradeof Aliah, which y'all know. I'm
her number one fan. So likeGabby was in circles, like she was

(11:03):
becoming more and more well known.Well, Gabby became a part of a
different audience in industry who may nothave known her when she connected with Dwayne
Wade. Because now she's introduced tothe basketball world which means a lot more
people who are not black got eyeson her now because she's dating Dwayne Wade,

(11:26):
so you love to see it now. I was confused a little bit,
like, Okay, I don't knowwhat happened with Dwayne Wade's wife,
but him and Gabby together is cute. Now. The interesting thing about them
was Gabby is like about ten yearsolder than Dwayne Wade. Okay, when
they got together, she didn't haveany children. I didn't know at the

(11:48):
time that she was struggling to havechildren or that she was having any infertility
issues. I just know they weredating. I also didn't know at the
time that it happened that they hadbroke up and Dwayne Wade that had a
baby on her with someone else.Now, at this point, Dwayne Wade
is divorced, so he can prettymuch see whoever he wants to. But

(12:11):
I can only imagine how painful thatwas for her, being that she wanted
to have this baby and he endedup having another baby with someone else because
he already had children with his firstwife. So I can only imagine how
that must have felt for her.But anyway, you start seeing all these
pictures of them everywhere, together,especially when Lebron James came over to the

(12:33):
Heat and Chris Bosh. You sawthose three guys like peas and a pods.
They were everywhere. So when theywould take vacations on yachts and whatnot,
who were there with their wives?Who did you see? Dwayne Wade
and Gabby. There was power thatGabby got and that even Dwayne got when
these two connected and became one inbeing a couple, in long term relationship

(12:56):
and then eventually marriage because they metin seven, connected, finally hooked up
in nine, married in fourteen.All Right, So just like with Will
and Jada, we knew of thesepeople separately. So basically, just like
with Will and Jada, they eachhad a little bit of their own power

(13:18):
before they got together, but oncethey got together, the power increased.
If you remember nothing else about thisepisode, please remember that there's something that
comes when you marry. Trust meon this. But each of them got
introduced to their audience. So thepeople that was rocking with Gabby that didn't
know anything about Dwayne Wade found outabout him and start saying, Okay,

(13:41):
I rock with him too. Andthe people who was rocking with Dwayne,
who didn't know anything about Gabby beforethem getting together was like, Okay,
I'm rocking with Gabby too, Sothey became a power couple. People fell
in love with this couple. Theyloved their union, they loved overcoming their
ups and downs. You begin tohear about his custody issues with his ex

(14:03):
wife and then some and Gabby inthe beginning was relatively quiet on that issue.
I don't remember her speaking much onthat. I remember her started to
speak more so when her social mediaplatforms increased. Now, remember they got
together around the time social media wasalready established. So with Will and Jada,

(14:26):
they were together and established before socialmedia. But Gabby and Dwayne had
the power of social media, sotherefore their relationship became more known. Not
you didn't have to wait to hearabout that because you have social media now.
Back when Will and Jada got together, we had to wait on entertainment

(14:46):
tonight, we had to wait onthem what MTV said, VH one said,
BT said, Oprah, any ofthe other talk shows at the time,
magazines. So if there wasn't ontalk shows and all that kind of
stuff, we didn't know what wasgoing on with them, right, Gavi
and Dwyane. We knew often instantlywhat was going on with them because of

(15:11):
social media. And when I sayinstantly, it simply means when they want
to put something out, when theywant to share something. Now, Zion
to Zara, Zara Zarah. I'msorry I'm pronouncing it. Rom never been
the best with these names, butyou get the point. We're talking about
d Wade's son, Zion, whonow identifies as a girl. That became

(15:37):
has been and still is controversial fromwhat I remember of his sons, because
it looked like he had three sonsbecause he did adopt. He was taking
care of one that I believe hesince adopted. It's he's family, the
boy's family. He's just someone else'sbiological son in Dwyane Wade's family. So
I remember three little boys. Ido remember Zion being being vastly different than

(16:00):
the other two. But I didn'tthink anything of it. I didn't think
anything of feminine or gonna be agirl one day. I didn't think of
anything like that. I just thought, in this day and time with children,
being a mother as well, thatall children are different, and that
he just wasn't. He didn't seemto be into basketball like his brothers and
sports and things like that. Hewas more He seemed like more of an

(16:22):
intellectual and things of that manner anddidn't think anything of it. Well,
this power couple, eventually you beginto hear Gabby speak up for Cion or
there you begin to hear her speakmore about LGBT things that I don't remember

(16:44):
Gabby speaking up about before. Andshe would speak up because there were times
actually thought she threw her husband underthe bus before they ever married, Like
back in twenty twelve, I believeshe was in an interview and she was
like, I already have my millionsand I don't need my husband's money.
This I'm sure it's on YouTube somewhere. This is not verbatim. I'm just

(17:06):
paraphrasing, but I'm sure it's onYouTube somewhere. And I remember watching,
like, Wow, Okay, shehas always been outspoken, I know that,
but dang, did she have tosay it like that. We get
it, Gabby. We know yougot money, we know you've been in
the game for a minute that youdon't have to have his money, even
though he's got way way more.But still we know you had millions.

(17:27):
You built your own brand without DwayneWade or before even connecting with or knowa
Dwayne Wade. We know boo,we know. So that was my thing
on that. But I begin tosee her use the power of social media.
She had influence, She had peoplewho were fans of hers for years,

(17:47):
and there are many of us whowere like, I don't know if
I'm feeling Gabby that much? Nomore so what has happened pretty much in
Will and Jada form if you will, You got people out here debating the
influence of Gabby on Dwayne Wade andthe influence of her on Dwayne's child,
which she is now mother to aswell, Just like people are debating and

(18:10):
going back and forth about Will andJada on every damn thing at this point
in time, they're doing the sameare similar with Dwayne and Gabby. But
if you notice anything about these two, anything negative that the men do,
who gets blamed for it? Thewomen? With Will, people really believe
Jada has this negative effect over himoverall, that she's still in love with

(18:33):
Pap, that she doesn't love him, she doesn't want him, she's just
with him for the money, which, like Gabby, Jada was also a
multi millionaire before connecting Will Smith.Did her star power go up because she
connected with Will Smith? Damn right? Did Gabby's go up because she connected
with Dwayne Wade? Damn right?I mean not saying the guys star power

(18:56):
didn't go up a little bit either. They met their their wives, perspective,
audiences, and fan base too,and gained them. So both men
and women benefited by their connection.They each had power before connecting, but
they gained more power after connecting andespecially after marriage, especially when they married.

(19:23):
There's power that you get when twopeople connect and marry. Doesn't matter
if their marriage is like yours mine, that's besides the point. Doesn't matter
if they're families like yours mind,that's besides the point. We are now
open to Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Unionand their family. Again. Remember Denzel

(19:44):
and his wife Paula Apaultte. Imight be saying it wrong, but have
been married for decades. I don'tremember people talking so much about their marriage
and their family. Samuel Jackson andhis wife married for decades. I don't
remember a lot of people caring somuch about his marriag and his family.
Judge mathis married for decades. Beautifulfamily right, just like the others I've

(20:06):
mentioned, I don't remember people talkingso much about his marriage and his family,
these people that I mentioned. Ican do this all day. These
people that I'm mentioning, no onecared so much about they would applaud their
marriage. Don't get me wrong,Angela Bassa. According to e Vance,
we love their marriage right, welove their family, their children. But
ain't nobody checking for their families?Ain't nobody checking for the couples like that?

(20:26):
We'll give our little they Oh,I love them, They're so cute,
that look so beautiful together. Ilove them together. But baby,
the power of influences with Will andJada. The power of influence maybe a
different level is with Dwayne and Gabby. Why is that? Why are these
particular people that I'm highlighting Their marriagemade such an impact on the culture as

(20:51):
well as their family. Yes,the power of social media helps that,
but remember with the previous episode withWill and Jada and their family, there
was no social media when they weremaking an impact with their family and their
marriage. There was no social media. All we had was media that was
not controlled by any of us.It was what the media wanted to show

(21:11):
you. People can show families allday long, but ain't nobody checking for
these families like they're checking for Willand Jada's families, Dwayne and Gaby's families.
People talk about the children of Dwayneand Gabrielle, just like Will and
Jada, especially Dwayne Wade's son whotransitioned to a daughter. I hope y'all

(21:34):
see where I'm going in the series. I hope y'all see where I'm going
with this. The power of marriage, the Dwayne and Gabby effect, and
with these two particular couples. Thewomen are the villains. People have called
gabriel which they said that she runshim, She runs Dwayne Wade. She

(21:55):
is the one who influenced the sonto become a daughter. She runs that
family, which they don't like.They say she's unsubmissive, just like they
villified Jada. They vilified Gabby,but Jada is on a whole another level.
We had never heard of toxic femininityuntil Jada. They made Jada the

(22:15):
face of toxic femininity, but Gabbyis right up under there. There's so
many men that hate these women.They feel like the men are victim interesting
the power of marriage, And sowhat do we have another couple where we're
spending many of you, many ofus right are spending time on social media,

(22:37):
going back and forth with people wedon't know about people we don't know.
Now I know, it's like,wait a minute, I've been knowing
Gabby for long. Yes, whatwe have been shown of Gabby, and
then, with the power of socialmedia, what she has allowed us to
know of her with her book,which I've read. By the way,
we're gonna need more wine. It'spretty good book. Actually, all we

(23:00):
know what's been presented to us aboutthem. We do not live with these
people. We don't know what theydo on a daily basis, even if
they come up and share on atalk show or something or go to the
Red Table talker and a magazine articleon their posts. Hey, I get
up every day and I go inmy guarden and I meditate. That don't
mean they really do it. Youdon't know it. They said it,

(23:22):
but that don't mean it's true.It could be true. It might very
well be true just because they saidit, but it also might not be
true. It might just look goodfor the ground. We don't know them
like that. So we're back andforth in comments, spending our heart earned,
are spending our time and energy goingback and forth with people we do

(23:42):
not know about people we don't know. Again, I want to tell you.
I want to introduce y'all to somethingtoday. Y'all might have heard of
this pretty sure many of you have. But for those who have not,
this is for you. And forthose who have heard of this is a
reminder. There's such a thing associal current. Have y'all heard of it?
Relatively new term being used, especiallyduring the time of the pandemic and

(24:04):
the lockdowns. If you've ever heardof the app clubhouse where people come on
to talk and they even build followingsand things like that over their clubhouse.
It was talked about a lot.You heared a lot on social media,
especially there. So before I gointo what social currency is, what currency
is, right, Currency is asystem of money that we use it.
So we got the USD, wegot euros, we got pay sols,

(24:25):
we got all these different types ofcurrencies that you use in different countries and
whatnot. It's a system of themoney that we use. It's how we
buy goods and services right, payfor things. Now we all have different
amounts of currency. Well, that'ssuch a thing as social currency. Social
currency is basically influenced currency. Understandwhat I'm saying. There's a monetary value

(24:48):
to like a brand's following, likes, comments, all of that social currency.
When you listen to this podcast andyou share with others and they share
and that y'all are really listening,that's a form of social currency. When
you like my posts or like othersposts, or love it and share it,
that's a form of social currency.When you comment on my posts,

(25:10):
when you share my posts, whenyou interact with people on my posts,
that's a form of social currency.I have a brand, I have people
who follow that brand. When youwatch my content, when you watch my
videos and I get views, that'sa form of social currency. It's the
extent to which people basically share yourbrand information or my brand information, or

(25:30):
my lifestyle for those influencers who sharepart of their everyday lives, the personal
assets and attributes of me or individualsor others that help you succeed in interactive
socials. So that's what social currencyis. Not everybody has social currency,
just like not everybody has currency,right And for those that do have social
currency, there's different amounts of it. For example, if I have twenty

(25:52):
one thousand followers on Instagram. Thereare others who have five thousand followers,
so I have more followers in them. And then there's those who have thirty
thousand or three hundred thousand, sothey have more followers than me. So
our social currency for our brands arenot the same. So that means I
have a certain level of social currency. Just like with money, there are

(26:14):
millionaires, there are multi millionaires.There are a thousandaires, multi thousandaires.
There are those who are not eventhousand airs, right, there are only
five figures or whatnot, and thenwe know we got certain levels of multi
millionaires. There's those who have twopoint five million in assets or worth two
point five minutes. There's those whoare worth twelve point five million, those
who are worth one hundred and fiftynine million, you know what I mean.

(26:37):
And so just like there's levels anddifferent amounts of currency that we all
have or may not have. Samewith social currency, not everybody has it,
or not everybody has a lot,or some have a whole lot.
The Smiths have a whole lot ofsocial currency along with currency. A might
I add the waves have a wholelot of social currency along with currency,

(27:00):
have some social currency along with currency, right, there's level to it.
But what kind of social currency doyou have? There's a reason why I'm
asking, because if you don't havesocial currency, then you are the people
who are giving influencers, celebrities,even people like me, those with platforms.

(27:22):
You are giving us our social currencyby following us, supporting us,
sharing our stuff, liking our stuff, comment on our stuff. Nothing wrong
with that. But if you're goingto be all day on posts, debating,
going back and forth with no socialcurrency, that more than likely is
a waste of time. There's awaste of energy, there's a waste of
focus, because if you're complaining aboutany aspect of your life, I'm gonna

(27:47):
be asking, and you should beasking yourself. Why am I putting my
time which I can't get back,my attention, my energy, my focus
on people I don't know about,with people I don't know about. When
I got things I need to bedoing and creating and shaping and uplifting in

(28:07):
my own life. If I'm complainingabout my currency levels, why am I
out here being in the negative ofsocial currency and my bank account is also
in negative currency? This is notabout you can't do what you want in
your free time, That's not itI'm talking about. I have seen men
and women go back and forth aboutWill and Jada, about Dwayne and Gabby

(28:30):
and their lives and their marriage andtheir family all day, and I'm sitting
there like, what is it thatthese people do for a living? What
is it that these people have thatkind of time? They must be rich
as fuck doing all this all day. Like, if I'm gonna be going
back and forth on a post,best believe it's coming to a podcast soon.
I got some social currency. Thisis where I'm gonna use it to

(28:53):
empower, influence, uplift and callout and correct and things of that nature
in hopes that it inspires you,uplifts you to go do something amazing in
your life, specifically your ships andsex. If I'm gonna spend time on
a post, that's that's spend anhour on a post, not just trolling
a little bit, but talking topeople and hearing people's perspectives and size.

(29:17):
But I'm also gonna more than likelyuse that to help somebody with if that's
not what you're doing. And whenI say help somebody, I'm not saying
you have to have a platform.But if that's not what I'm doing.
If I don't have social currency,I'm out of currency. I'm out of
social currency. For example, letme okay, let me break it down
this way. I saw this guywho, after the Chris Rock Special had

(29:37):
dropped, I think Will Smith putup a post about just giving some flowers
to Jamie Fox. So you sawa lot of people that was agreeing,
like yeah, I love Jamie Foxwhatnot. And then you saw people,
especially men and people of a certainrace that's not black, that came on
the post a Chris Rock bodied youin his special Netflix You've seen the Chris

(30:00):
Rock Special. They just was downthere basically trolling Will Smith. There was
a few particular guys don't know himfrom Adam that decided to troll Will Smith
right, and then they were sayingthing like have you seen the special?
Whatever? They started going back andforth with people who was like, man,
go find something else better to do. We over here trying to celebrate
Jamie Fox. And they was like, well, I'm telling them about Chris

(30:22):
Rock. And some people was like, why are you taking time out of
your date even post like why'd youcome all the way on this man page
to say that. So then thatled to more back and forth, y'all.
When I looked at the thread,it was literally over three hundred comments
on this one thread of a postwith thousands of comments, right, and
this guy, this wasn't his onlythread. He went down under other people's

(30:45):
comments who were applauding Jamie Fox orWill Smith and he was like, yeah,
but did y'all see the Chris Rocks. So that was just basically trolling.
And I was like, damn,this is a whole man. What
does he do that he has thiskind of time? So, okay,
he must be an influencer. Youmust have a podcast, he must do
videos. Something I click on hisaccount. Dude got like thirty followers,

(31:07):
he's following like fifteen hundred people.Nothing really on his page, just stuff
here and there. So I decidedto go down our little rabbit hole,
y'all. I did this with aboutthree people, spent about an hour doing
this. I found these people onother platforms pretty much say they don't have
a big social media presence, morethan likely because they're not. They're just

(31:29):
there for friends and family or whatnot, coworkers, whatnot, just to see
what's going on just to have anaccount. That's what it seemed like.
So I was like, okay,cool, But then when I looked at
their activity, they literally look likethey just troll and literally troll the Smiths.
It came down to a comment hemade where he said, I'm just
gonna say how he said fuck Jada. I was like, oh my god.

(31:49):
I finally had to say something tome. I'm like, I gotta
find out why. I was like, sir, you might need to go
heal. How are you saying fucka woman that you've never met, that
you do not know, you onlyknow of what's presented to you on social
media? Why fuck her? Andthen the other guy that I did this

(32:10):
too, just went and checked everything. I was like, so, what
is it that you do? Howdo you have this kind of time to
be going back and forth with peopleon the internet. He says to me
in response, same way you onhere, I'm on here. I was
like, Sir, I have ahusband that takes care of me, so
I actually do have the time rightnow. If I'm taking some time to

(32:32):
do this, actually do have it. Who's taking care of you? I'm
just like, yo, these men, like when I went down the reb
Hole with him. He talks againto a lot of modern women, talked
about today's average woman is lazy.I'm just like, I mean, he
does his own post of people likehe's like a Kevin Samuel's follower type,
and I was just like, wow, So y'all got that kind of time.

(32:57):
Y'all got that kind of social currency. Because if you have social I
understand, because that means you gota platform some type and you're doing something
with this content and you might bemonetizing it, or it could be a
hobby, because there's nothing wrong withhappening and consistent hobby because it gives you,
It brings you pleasure, and itcreates great energy for you to do
other things. But honey, ifit ain't for monetizing or for a hobby

(33:20):
of pleasure, I'm trying to understand, how is this adding value to your
life? Time is a currency aswell. It's one that we get every
single day. We get twenty fourhours a day. Everybody got the same
twenty four right, But guess whatif it's March first of twenty twenty three,
know that there will never be aMarch first, twenty twenty three.
So if you spent all day Marchfirst, twenty twenty three going back and

(33:44):
forth with people on the internet,and you still complain it about your life
or your day in life, orwomen out there or men out there,
or you don't have what you want? Are you not having a success that
you want, whatever your definition ofsuccess is, Sir ma'am, you are
wasting it. You're wasting your time, You're wasting your day. You don't
have the social currency to be interactinglike that all day, every day.

(34:07):
Gabby, if she wanted to be, could sit there all day and interact
and go back and forth with folksif she wanted to. Because Gabby has
plenty of currency and plenty of socialcurrency, because she's a powerhouse, she's
a powerful woman. She has thepower to influence. Dwayne Wade could do
the same thing. Will Smith coulddo the same thing. Jada Pinkett Smith

(34:28):
could do the same thing. Thosewith platforms or they have plenty of social
currency to spend to get followers,to get monetization, to get views,
creating content, they got it too, depending on what they're using it for.
Because they're living their life and they'renot out here complaining about what they
don't have. When I went downthe rabbit hole with these men, they
complained about women. They talked moreharshly at that against Jada and Gabby.

(34:54):
Then they talked about the own womenin their own lives. Made me wonder
did they have a woman. Oneof the guys had a woman. He
spent more time in the last weekbecause I went down a rabbit hole,
y'all. He spent more time talkingabout Jada Pinkey Smith for a whole week
that his own wife and children.I was like, no, I don't
know if I would have a problemwith my husband talking about or woman he

(35:16):
don't know and going in on herall week or not, But I would
wonder if he got all these thingsto do. Let's say my husband's complaining
about I don't have no time todo this stuff. I'm gonna look up
his social media and be like,bruh, you got plenty of time.
You're just spending it in the wrongarea, in the wrong places. In

(35:37):
my opinion, that is, andI'm gonna say that because if he's complaining
about something, I have a solution. Solution is in where you're spending your
time, where is your focus,where is your energy going? For example,
Let's just say I'm used to myhusband example, because my husband does
not have that kind of time,y'all. He does not spend time on
shit like this. He spends moretime in building and uplifting his family.

(35:57):
I'm just being real. Well,let's just say my husband was on the
internet all day, going back andforth with people, with people he don't
know, about people we don't know. And let's say he's complaining about I
don't have enough time to finish thiscomic book or this episode or this whatever.
Because that's some of the other stuffthat he does. I'm gonna be
like, how much time are youspending on social media? If he says

(36:19):
not that much, I'm like,let me see. And if I see
him on threads day after day arguingback and forth with people, I'm like,
brother, there's all your time rightthere. If you cut back at
the at least cut back ninety percent, you can create what you're over here
trying to create. That's my wholepointing this is, look how powerful these
people are, and look how powerfulthey are over you. They really got

(36:42):
you out here arguing in these streets, going back and forth with people,
stopping you from creating the ships andsex life of your dreams, stopping you
from getting your money up, stoppingyou from doing all the things that you
say you don't have time to do. What you do in your spare time
is your business, but it alsoshows what your values are and where your

(37:04):
values lie. You want to bemarried, what are you doing to be
married? Are you out here arguingback and forth with people? Because I
know of some women I'm just gonnabe real with y'all, and they've been
arguing back and forth with men andthey're still single, getting older, still
saying I want to be married,But they're habits of social media don't show
that they want to be married.They show that they like to argue with
men all day, every day.I know of some men, same thing,

(37:25):
but they love putting women down whodon't have a man. But they
ain't got a woman. But weknow the narrative sticks with when a woman
don't have a man, right andespecially if she's getting older, versus a
man don't have a woman and he'sgetting older. The negative narrative sticks with
the woman. The stereotype, thenegativity, whatever sticks with the woman who
don't have a man. If Iwant to accomplish whatever it is that I
want to accomplish in life. I'mgoing to spend less time arguing with people

(37:49):
about other people's life my own.I got one life to live, baby,
that's the only one I got.They got their life to live and
I got mine. Whether I agreewith what's going on in the Family of
the Waves or not, I don'thave time to sit here and argue with
y'all about it. Doesn't mean Idon't talk about this privately in my private
time of leisure, which I musthave. I have to have it.

(38:10):
I talk about a lot of shitthat I will never talk about publicly with
people I don't know, and goback and forth with people that I don't
know. That's stress for me.That's energy leaks for me. That's draining
for me, that's time consuming forme. You might see me here in
their troll, But baby, bestbelieve it's a podcast is coming. Some
content is coming. I'm gonna monetizesomething. I'm going to turn it into

(38:34):
because this is what I do.It's gonna be a teaching moment, which
I hope you're getting the power ofmarriage. Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union their
marriage took the world by storm.This is what we should be doing in
our own place. Our relationship shouldmean something. Doesn't matter if it's on
social media or out there in theworld on platforms. It should mean something

(38:57):
to people. We should be influencing, touching the hearts of those around us,
homes, neighborhoods, where we work, or we fellowship, where we
go all the time. You shouldbe influencing there. You should be creating
ships and sex, life of yourdreams. You should be coming up in
the money game. You should behaving more, doing more, but first
of all, being more, beingmore focused, being more careful with your

(39:19):
time, Understanding the power that youhave. Because if these people I'm mentioning
have that kind of power over you, imagine what happens when you take that
power back and use that power inyour own life. Come on, now,
somebody got that. Do y'all seethe journey I'm taking y'all on what
the power of marriage also to justmore than that, it's the power of
sex. Coming to look at thepower of relationships, look at the power

(39:42):
that we have. Are we wastingpower that we actually have? Are we
wasting a currency? Because do youknow, the more time you sent on
social media, going back and forthwith people about people you don't know,
the less time and energy and focusthat you have towards making more money.
I know some of y'all that workriding I sent women. I get it.
I know a lot of us areat working our cubicles, working and

(40:05):
on social media and getting paid.I got your booth, but just remember
you might still be making money,but it's an energy league. Have you
ever went back and forth to somebodyfor so long, even if it's twenty
minutes, and then you be drainedafter you got a headache, after you're
like, why did I spend that? I can't believe I spent that time
talking to this whatever you call them, whatever, feeling the blank, this
idiot, talking to this food,talking to somebody I don't even know.
I can't believe. I remember raidthat I finally had to figure out a

(40:28):
way to Mountainime is my time onlineor I need to get off of it?
Even now, I'm not on socialmedia a whole lot as much as
I used to be, but Iwork behind the scenes. A lot of
people don't know. When you seepodcasts popping up, you're like, oh
shit, been working, But here'sthe thing. One of the reasons why
I'm not on as much as Iused to is because I'm protecting my energy.
Oh. I know, my businessis primarily online. I gotta work.
I gotta do my thing right online, I know. But I'm also

(40:51):
taking my breaks because it can bean energy league. And the thing is,
I actually have social currency. Soeven when I leave for a period
of time and come my curse islike it's been sitting the bank, my
followers are still there. When Istart posting again, they're still coming around.
They're still liking and sharing and commenting, you see what I mean,
and helping me to build my brand. Because in return for my social currency,

(41:13):
I'm helping you. I'm helping them. I'm giving you something that you
own to think on, to digest. Stepping on the little toes here and
there are even encouraging all right,y'all. I hope y'all understand the power
of marriage booth. Dwayne and Gavin. The point that I was making in
all of this, we may notlike a lot of things that they're saying
or they're doing. We may ormay not whatever it is, we don't

(41:34):
have to sit here and talk aboutit. All. Damn day, y'all
ain't changing minds of people out there. You're only finding people who agree with
you, or are you finding peoplewho disagree with you and you're going in
on them? Get to the pointwhere you calling them names? Are you
pointing out how they're calling your names? Like? How's that better? In
the community talking about these people?Look how powerful these people are? They
got y'all time tension. It's nothingwrong with people having your time and attention.

(41:57):
Just let it be worth your while. If I got your time and
attention for the length of this podcastepisode, it's worth your while. It's
gonna do something for you. Hopefullyit plants a seed, and it waters
it a little bit too, andyou start to water it more by saying,
you know what, because you arewhere your attention lies. My focus
and my attentions don't need to beover there on them people. I don't
even know them. People. Ican't hear people saying all the time they

(42:19):
ain't paying my bills? Do thesepeople on social media the same way?
It's nothing wrong with going and checkingin, spending a little time and leisure,
looking people up and seeing what's goingon. But the moment you notice
yourself getting caught up fallback booth saying, Okay, I just spent my time
over there. Now I need toput it here because I can't get that
time back. I can't get thetime back I spent going back and forth
with the man for three hours becauseI can't get that time back. So

(42:39):
at this point, I need tobe directing my time and energy to me
and mind. What can I doto make my life better? What can
I do to have the relationship thatI truly desire? What can I do
to be working on my marriage?They're all working on me today. What
can I do to create the typeof relationship I really really want? Think
about it. There's nothing wrong withgoing on listen to your favorite influencers,

(43:00):
and I'm not saying anything's wrong withthat, But is it worth it for
you? Is it helping you tolevel up in life? Don't let people
have power over you that don't benefityou, that don't influence and encourage you
to do great things, to dothe amazing I'm hoping and I know this
for a fact with other people becauseI've gotten feedback from them. But I'm
hoping this influences and encourages you toget up, get out and do something

(43:23):
for you to better you, toget your focus more so on what you
could be doing that's gonna benefit you, that's gonna get you in that creative
spirit, get those creative juices flowingon what you need to create. What
business do you need to start.What business do you need to be working
on. What do you need tobe doing in your house? What do
you need to be calling to makethat appointment to go see about your health

(43:44):
or whatnot? What gym should yoube going to? What steps should you
be getting in to not live asedentary life but live more like an active
life. Because this one thing Ido, I'm getting my ten thousand plus
steps in a day, every singleday, every day, every single day.
I don't care what I gotta do. I'm gonna get those steps in.
And the people that I'm around,that I'm connected to, they're doing
the same thing, working out,living better lives, traveling, focusing on

(44:05):
them, helping others, knowing theirpurpose, operating in it. When I
finished talking to them, my energyis good. It increased even if we
ain't talking about shit. I feelgood because the energy is right. If
I sit there and go back andforth, because I used to do this,
y'all. So I'm calling out whatI see because I used to do
it and it wasn't benefiting my lifeat all. I ain't changed nobody's mind.

(44:30):
So I was sitting there telling mypoints to people about people's lives.
For what I mean, I usedto sit there and argue with people on
the internet about whether you should havea Christmas tree and celebrate Christmas if you're
a Christian. I stopped doing allthat shit used to take up my time.
But the biggest thing was I usedto be so trained going back and
forth with people online. I wouldbe nursing a baby at the time,
and they want to cool and play, and I'm supposed to be looking down

(44:52):
at them. Instead, I'm knacking. It's called knacking nursing that keyboard.
And I'm going back and forth withpeople, missing times with my little baby.
They're older now, none of them'snursing now. But I'm saying,
I think about those moments that Ilost. I can never get those back.
I want y'all to understand if you'regoing to do this and be out
there and getting into debates and stuff, I'm not saying anything is wrong with

(45:13):
any of that. I'm saying,your focus, your attention, your energy.
If it is draining you, ifit is taking you away from creating
what you want to create, ifyou are complaining about your life about you
don't have time, about you don'thave this shit, and your relationship ain't
this when it needs to be orshould be? And your money ain't that?
Baby? Look at where you're spendinga lot of your time. Look
at the power that people have overyou, and how you're getting upset with

(45:37):
people because they think Will Smith shouldhave slapped Chris Rock because we still talk
about this in your letter, right, or how they think Chris Rock was
disrespectful of Jada, and how theythink Jada is evil, horrible person.
You really up here taking up withJada like that? Do you really think
Jada wants you to be taken upfor her like that? Or do you
think she will want you out hererushing it? Think about it. If

(45:59):
this is who you're a fan andwho you really like. I know people
that's sick and tired of the Smiths, and I'll be like, why are
you sick and tired of the Smithswhen you don't know the Smiths? Why
are you tired about people talking aboutthe Smiths. Who the hell are you
around your circle? That's all theydo is talk about the Smiths? Or
is this you online where all thesepeople are talking about the Smiths because you

(46:22):
don't have to involve yourself with theseI do tend to read the comments,
just seeing where people are and whatthey're thinking about. And then I do
tend to look at some people's socialmedia profiles saying what I feel like,
because I'm like, what is itthat they doing it? They have to
sit this much time to go backand forth. Look that he was talking
for hours and he left and hekeep back, and then you find out
that they're complaining about modern women andcomplaining about men being a hobo sac and

(46:45):
all this complaining going on. AndI'm like, but do y'all see me
out here complaining like that? BecauseI have a life that I truly love
and enjoy. I'm with the manthat I truly love and enjoy. I
have an amazing family, have anamazing marriage. I have an amazing life
because it's what I can create it. But I promise you this, I
did not create this life spending mytime focused and energy on bullshit because how

(47:07):
else would I have time to createan amazing life? But I had bullshiting
all the time. I didn't havetime for that. I took my energy
of wanting to talk okay because someof you may just clearly love to talk,
and I said, well, I'mgonna start writing books on Facebook that
inspire, that may cause some controversy. It's gonna cause people to think,
cause people to get involved. That'swhat I started doing with my voice,
my time, my energy, myfocus. And then eventually I monetize it.

(47:30):
I wrote a book, or myhusband got another one. You see
what I mean. I turned itinto where I get to wake up and
do what I love every damn day. I get to do it, and
I can shut all of the socialmedia life out that I want to take
in, only what I want totake in. I'm only in groups that
I want to be in. Ionly associate with people online that I want
to because I value my time andmy mind and my spirit and my energy.

(47:53):
I'm only interested in building connections thatare assets. I don't have time
for life abilities. I can't buildwith Will and Jada are everybody in the
comments section on posts, So Idon't spend time trying to defend or vilify
any of these people. But Ican use these people that we know of
and point out give you some meatfrom their relationships and tell you to chew

(48:15):
on that to eat this. Ican give you that. Hoping to take
your focus off all the negatives andpositivebout these people. I can't get your
focus off of these people lives andwhat they doing in their families. I
can't help to do that and showyou what of their lives you should take
with you. You should take thepower of influence of both of these couples.

(48:35):
You should take how they're building theirmarriage like the fuck they want to
build it, and do that foryours. Because last time I check Will
and Jada living like Will and Jadawant to live, Last time I checked
Dwayne and Gabby living like Dwayne andGabby want to live. They are building
and have created the families they wantedto create. It may not look like
ours. They don't give a damn. They're doing what they want to do
when they want to do it andgot the resources to do it with.

(48:59):
What if they do complain about something, they actually do something about what they're
complaining about. If they had theycomplained about the gender of their child.
They did something about it. Petitionof courts, they spoke out all of
that, they did something about it. They're not going back and forth with
you about their family. That's theirdamn family. They're not going back and
forth with you about their marriage.That's their damn marriage. They are living

(49:22):
and creating what they want. That'swhat too many are missing. They are
creating and living what they want.But are you too many of us out
here creating what we don't want?But we created it? Okay. I
hope that brings more clarity to fromthe episode when I was talking about the

(49:42):
power marriage with Will and Jada.I hope this brings more clarity. And
I know you're like the power marriage. What is the power marriage? We'll
talk more about that in the nextepisode, because I got someone else for
y'all, and I'm going to showy'all at the end of the day,
what's really going on with your powerand your focus and how you can change
it and use it to create theships and sex life of your dreams.
All Right, thank you for stayingin there with me, for hanging in

(50:02):
there with me. I know itwas a bit lengthy too, I'm really
trying to get this to you.It's gonna be some of the best times
you spent with me, though,because if you take heed to what I'm
saying, you will start to createthe life that you truly want. You
will update, up level, upgradeyour life in all the areas that you
want to upgrade it that you've beencomplaining about. All that's bothersome to you
that you don't have it the wayyou want in that area. All right,

(50:24):
calling you out, yes, butbe incouraged. All right. If
you haven't already, make sure youare following me everywhere on social media.
That's some social currency for you atour tav e vans everywhere. If you're
in a relationship where y'all been togetherfor a while and sex just and popping
like it once it was, orit's never popped and you ain't getting yours,
go to nine Positions dot com pickup my ebook Nine Positions to get

(50:45):
you to the big Oh. Yesit works. I've had ladies to come
back and share with me how itworks and that I love reading people sharing
how it has changed their sex life. See Creativeships and Sex Life of your
Dreams booth. All right, thanky'all so much again. I love y'all.
Keep sticking with Let me share this. You can always hear a new
podcast at shipsin sex dot com.Share this with others. Sign up to
be on our podcast buildings. Iknow I'm telling y'all a lot of shit

(51:07):
to do, right, Pick one, pick all? Do all? Just
support Boo and I promise this willhelp in changing your life and creating the
ships and sex length of your dreams. All right, I'm out, Boom,
see you next time. Much love,