265 - Jim Elliott - The Tom O Mahony Show

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Well, what's the crack? Everybody? How are you getting on? Just
as very loud, how are youdoing? Welcome to another episode of the
tum of Many show. It's Fridaythe sixteenth. Of course Patreons got this
cheese. I think they got itWednesday. No, they did, They
got it Wednesday night. They didbecause when that's when we recorded. These
things aren't live. You're very welcometo your first time listening. Fair bloody

(00:21):
as I mentioned as the Patriot,as there is with every single podcast in
the vegan world, but we havesome beautiful ones here. They get the
extras like the ad free content,the early access, they get the videos
to the interviews, and they getlive podcasts as well as that. So
when we do live shows on Sundayevens, it's Patreons only. We jump
on. We have the Crack aswell as that does the ramber Pot in

(00:42):
the middle of the week that's exclusiveto Patreons. A bit of announcement,
going to have a live show,live live podcast. It's going to be
the twenty fifth of August in theroundI, which is the Coco Comedy Club
in Cork as part of the CorkPodcast Festival. Yeah gotta be there,
So tickets will be going on salefor that very soon and I'll let you
know. I will post it everywhere. Don't be worried, I won't butt

(01:03):
shy about. It will be mostlyin the link and they're just the under
the notes that lead it everything.Like my comedy club, The Hill Emador
and tickets are now available. There'shalf gone. Neil Delamarre is sold out
for next weekend. And of coursemy new tour which is kicking off in
November. Taking off is the name, but I'm going to be everywhere but

(01:23):
the first maybe six in November.Maybe you do a couple in December,
but kicking on then into January.But November ones are up, which is
Cork, Tipperary, Limerick, PortLeash, Wexford and Belfast is about to
go on sale as well for Ithink the twelfth of November. So there's
all in there, Nelse you wantto know, or if you just wanted
to just say hi, anything inthat link you can get get on board

(01:47):
with the usual platforms. You knowwhat I've been Tomamaney Comedy will find it
anywhere. Really say hello, takea screen grab, do you know what
I mean? So it's all thegig news, really actress comedy club stuff
popping up out over the place.I think I'm BBC Radio Ulster this weekend.
Is that the correct way of sayingit. I'm recording something for them
Saturday evening, so I don't know. I'll be clean, That's all I

(02:10):
know. There's also if you haven'tseen my full special comedy special that's there
in that link as well. It'scalled Clatter from last year. Go have
a candor at that. Crack o, cack open, cack open a cran
or crack open a can even forthe weekend if you haven't given it a
watch. That's all of that stuff. That's the housekeeping. You know,

(02:31):
how to support the show. There'sanything you need to know is in that
link. Go have a look atit. Other than that, moving on
to today's guests. A very verygood friend of mine who I haven't chatted
in age or so. I wasvery excited to sit down with my mighty
friend, comedian and highly intelligent person. It's Jim Elliott, Jim of the

(02:53):
Elliots. My Jesus Christ, Ijust heard myself out there. Jim,
Oh you got an echo? Goon, no, just it was just
that moment I went, I've neverbeen impressed by my own voice before.
Fair play to me. I'm justgoing around saying, Jim Elliott for the
rest of the week, you justturned yourself on a little bit. I

(03:15):
thank you very much. Hey,what's the crack? As I'm pretending now
like we haven't been talking for ahalf an hour beforehand, because that's what
podcast do. They pretend like wejust hit the call. Hey, what's
happen? Hey, what's happening?Everybody loves a bit of Jim. Everybody
loves Jim? Many times returning areyou drinking this evening? I am not.
I am not. It's well becauseI just I just got back.
I was on holidays last week,so I was drinking every night and every

(03:38):
day really, and so now Iwas like, all right, I'm gonna
take I got back on Sunday.I'm just gonna wait until Friday, just
a week. I look at this. Not only am I not drinking,
I'm drinking water. It's got limesfloating in it. Man, I'm trying
to get more vitamins everywhere. IWow, do you know what I need
to bring you up? I needto bring you up like a five liters
of this stuff. It's actual springof water, actually out of a mountain,

(04:00):
not like the brand spring water.No, no, no, pulled
from a spring, actually from rockscoming out of a mountain. Yeah,
it makes if nothing else right,if you go oh yeah, okay,
But the first thing is you won'tsmell, you know, you you can
kind of smell. I'm not gettingall. We can talk conspiracies in a
minute, but you know, allthe stuff you have from water. But

(04:20):
yeah, yeah, all the stuffthey're putting in the water. It makes
unbelievable coffee. Yeah, it makescoffee way smoother for some reason. Well
we know the reason. There's noshit in now. There's probably a couple
of I don't know, maybe frogs, toes or something. Minute. There's
definitely something floating at the bottom ofit. I'm not sure what, but
it's all right. It's the whenyou get a cup of coffee somewhere and

(04:43):
the coffee sucks and it's bitter,you know that, really shitty yet Yeah
yeah, yeah, you know whatit fixes that A little pinch of salt.
I do you know what? That'slike a memory has come up from
somewhere. It's salt takes this becauseyou know, what. I don't know
why. I don't the chemicals,but it works because well I don't know
that what. I got a disgustingcoffee one time, and in act it

(05:08):
was a well to do joint inScotland, I'm sure, but and everybody
else's coffee smelt great. Yeah,I'll get a coffee. It's just the
kid making it was asleep at theswitch for five minutes. It wasn't.
It wasn't even he went over andI didn't. I should have specified,
hey, i'll have a hole init, flat white or an American.
I just said the coffee, andhe went straight to the you know the
glass fucking thing that's filtered. Yeah, the filter coffee. Well that ship

(05:31):
must have been filtered since the Tuesdayforehand, because it just makes it better.
That's that's the way coffee is supposedto be. That's what I have
in my house. I got thedrip filter from the New York cafe fishing
top you off their hun like that, that type of ship. That's what
I got. That's coffee to me, like a couple of pencils in your

(05:54):
hair, yep, with those littleceramic mugs with the giant with the giant
hoops on them. They don't actuallyhold that much coffee. Yeah yeah,
yeah, yeah, nice to amurder homicide detective sitting there, just haunted
by his own demons. Yeah.The food is always so quick in those
fucking diner things, isn't it?And and the menu is an encyclopedia.

(06:15):
They have everything. What do youwant? Do you want eggs and lobster?
We can do that, like theyhave everything? Would you like it?
In forty four seconds? Yeah?Yeah, well it was it was
after while I drank that coffee,because it was during a meeting where I'm
supposed to pay attention to everything thatwas being said to me, and so
I drank said coffee. Every imilliliter made me want to crap my pants,

(06:40):
like not even normal coffee kind ofget things moving, like oh I'm
drinking poison. Yeah, my bodyhates this. It was. It was.
I can't remember who I said itto afterwards, because one of my
parents were like, oh, thegrain salt, and I'm like, well,
yeah, thank you. Now Icould use that information eight hours ago.
Yeah, oh yeah, because quiteliterally, my body was telling me

(07:00):
the truth. As soon as thatmeeting ended, I had to go missing.
But it was at the same time, are you the weirdo for going,
hey, would you pass me thesalt there? Like? Yeah,
yeah, and now you have totell the whole story of salt in your
coffee. I mean, yeah,maybe just put salt in your coffee and
give anybody this think guy who wantsto look at you what? Fuck you?
I'm not making you drink it?True? True? So Jim,

(07:24):
you're you're from America. Obviously youliterally have aff I not lost the accent
yet. You know what you Youjust sound like a twelve year old Irish
kid. That's what it sounds likeright now. I will put on a
little bit of an Irish twang ona Irish cadenced or sequence of work.
Yeah, like what I just said, there, Have I not lost the
accent? That's not American thing.No, it's not. I haven't I

(07:45):
lost the accent yet? Yeah?Have you not? Have I not?
That's that's an Irish thing. Andwhenever I put together an Irish sequence there
will be a little liltless something inthere. Yeah. But yeah, I
don't know. So they with thehot conspiracy at the minute is that they
have found alien craft in Antarctica.I don't know. Why it jumped straight
into that. But it wasn't anthat's a bloke anyway. He was apparently

(08:09):
the whistle blower. And he's saying, look at I'm just saying, I'm
just saying, and I'm kind ofgoing, I'm all for this, I
am all for this. I'm allfor it. I'm all for it.
But like, to me, untilit matters, it doesn't matter, No,
you know what I mean. Untilthey're marching down O'Connell Street with guns
pulling a full Mars attacks on it, who cares? Oh? Did you

(08:31):
find an old shipwreck in Antarctica?Great? What am I supposed to do
with that? Do I still haveto go to work tomorrow? Because it
sounds like I still have to goto work tomorrow. And if that's the
case, then I don't care.Jim just ships all over ninety percent of
the internet right now, we're going, is it gonna cost me money?
Is it gonna cost me any?Oh? Does it? It doesn't matter.

(08:52):
Let me turn the question on doesit matter to you, mister person
blogging about this? Do you stillhave to go to work tomorrow? What's
going on? Your kids still nottalking to you? Or is this going
to be the thing that brings themback. What are we hoping for here?
The flatter there on the podcast onetime, and he's a real flatter.
I feel like half of those dudesare just doing it because it's nice
to have a hobby. You're like, ah, yeah, you know,

(09:13):
I do feel a lot of theseguys, regardless when they are so deep
in and then you find a bitout about him, they're scarred from something
else, you know that kind ofway. Yeah, and you know this
is because Jennifer left. That's whathappened. And I think Jennifer may have
left this gentleman Manny Jennifers, I'dsay had left this gentleman gentleman, but
he was, Oh no, Jim, you have to watch this episode.
You will knowing me right, tryingto hold a straight face because I went,

(09:37):
do I go balls out at thisguy? I don't want it because
they're harmless, and if i'll difference, right, just hit him with the
like huh yeah. I thought aboutit though, and then every so often
I'd hit him with like topographic fromcoming from my background, I'd hit him
with like topographical questions and you go, yeah, but what you have right
and this but it turns out likehe's big. This guy, he's actually

(09:58):
big on He approached me, buthe's big on conspiracy. I've heard his
name. He mentioned of Joe Roganand stuff like he's big David twice.
But his big thing was the wall. There's a big wall, gym.
There's a wall, a wall wherethat's as a so we're a flat earth.
There's a wall over it, likea dome now around like that.

(10:20):
He couldn't say for certain one thatthere was a dome, right, he
couldn't, but there's definitely a wallwhen you there's a wall keeping us in
like a biscuit tin and above youif you nobody climbed the ice here,
and anybody did, Yep, anybodydid when they did climb the ice and
they got across our because you're notallowed you're not even allowed to fly over

(10:43):
at Arctica now or Arctica, whicheverone. You're not allowed to fly over
either one of them. And yeah, he basically said, there's many more
continents beyond that when you drop downoff that wall on the far side,
you know what I mean. Soit's a bird trapped here in that Jim
Carrey movie. Yeah, he was, yes, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

(11:03):
yeah, yeah, we're just we'rejust on our own little sound stage.
But there's a bunch of other ones. It's a bunch of other ones.
And I was like, have wemet? And they're like, m
no, they won't let us meetanyway. Like they could be really good
looking over there, like you knowwhat I mean, Yeah, it could
be or really ugly make us feelgood about ourselves, like Shelby Bell.

(11:24):
You started thinking about rugby. Iwonder if there's any fast guys we can
put him on the wing an advantageout here? Are you are? You
are? Because you want to likeI don't know, like as soon as
an iron match or whatever, we'llplay. There's a handful of people there.
For some reason, I seem tobe the sounding board for memes for
people anything funny about rugby. I'mnot saying what anybody, but you do.

(11:46):
It's Peter Romanny, like Colin Gettiswill immediately like fan boy out like
if he tries to kill somebody,and you, like he does every time
he does, other people just immediatelysend me Peter Romanny means of him choking
somebody. Yep, yep, he'sgreat. I would I would rather have
like sugar night or I'd rather haveyou're putting mad at me. I would

(12:09):
rather have both those dudes be like, fuck Jim Elliott than Peter Romanny.
I'm terrified of that guy. Idon't ever want him to be mad at
me at all. And he sellsit so well with the backstory as well,
it being so somber, like tanous, like planton ship and you're like,
and what one click of his fingerhe would destroy half the universe,

(12:30):
Like you don't pay any attention tobasketball, do you? I don't to
The team from Denver just won thechampionship last night, but they're they're best
player and the best player in theleague right now. As a Serbian dude
by the name of Nicole. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah. But but he gave allthese hilarious interviews last night because they won
the championship and this is the firsttime Denver's ever won the championship. And

(12:52):
so though every the whole everybody's cryingand hugging each other and the coaches holding
other players good, thank you forbelieving in me, coach, and he's
like, oh you at yourself,kid, They could real tears, and
he's just stone faced like this,and then he has to give the interview
afterwards. He's wearing the hat thatsays Champs on it, and the people
in the crowd are like, there'sa great clip. I'm sure you'll find
on the internet. He goes,are you excited for the parade? Because

(13:13):
after you, when you're titled,they have a parade through the town,
right, And he go, Iwas excited for the parade, and he
just looks and he goes parade andhe turns off stage and he looks to
somebody who works for the team,and he's like, what day is the
parade? And the guy goes Thursday, and he goes, Thursday. I
just want to go home, Andthen he goes into this rant because he
does. He just wants to goback to Serbia and hang out with his

(13:35):
brothers and ride horses. That's allhe wants to do, and that's all
he cares about. And he saidthat he was like, listen, I'm
very proud of the team and ofthe organization. This is the goal of
their job, but it's just ajob, and there's more important things in
the world. And also everybody hatestheir job. I mean, maybe some
people like their job, but they'relying, and I'm like this guy every
other player, Like you watch theseKobe documentaries who Kobe is like basketball is

(13:58):
every day, never stopped, butbl blah blah. And then Joker is
like, it's a living, youknow, it's fine. It'd be like
trying to interview a builder after theyfinished building the hotel, like how are
you feeling good? And he's like, well, it's four thirty. Do
I have to stay or can Igo now? Like, I know it's
great, it doesn't care. It'sjust stone faced. But you know,
that's something I suppose in the Westthat we kind of forget about ourselves,

(14:22):
isn't it Like we think, ohmy god, everything we think can do
is what everybody does. And youmeet like you meet lads from Kostovo and
stuff, and they're like, no, yeah, this is a game.
And I happen to be six footeleven, so they signed me. But
you know, the beats digging ditches. But let's not let's not go crazy
here. That's a good thing thoughI have noticed about American sports is that,

(14:46):
especially with football. I know thatlike the Patriots went on a run,
like they what did they get afive in a row? Or something
something like that. Yeah, butthere does seem to be a good variance
at least of like in rugby,there's just four that'll be in European rugby,
this four because the real like therich get richer type of thing where
you know, it's almost impossible toconceive of how a smaller club would establish

(15:11):
the infrastructure to compete with a tolose or a monster or something you know
what, I mean to come outof nowhere. But they got all these
things in American sports with with salarycaps and you're only allowed to spend so
much money, and they take it. So the worst teams in every league
get the best shot at the bestplayers coming out of college or their smaller
leagues. So that the way that'sthat's kind of class Like San Antonio was

(15:33):
terrible. It's they've been terrible forthree or four years, but this year
they were legendarily terrible. And nowthey get the number one pick, So
they're going to draft this seven foottwo French guy who is who will be
the biggest player in the league butalso the best shooter in the league.
Like he's unstoppable. Right now,well, we don't know, we've not
seen him play in the league.But he's he's the most excited talent for
years and years and years, andthe worst team in the league gets him.

(15:56):
And how long how long will theyhold on to him? Now,
you know what I mean, likeget year off three years, so they'll
get at least three years. Andthen if they can convince him to stay
and build a good infrastructure around himand convince him that this is your best
chance for success. And also theteam that drafts you, you can offer
them more money than anyone else can, not by much. Somebody else will
offer you a four hundred million,and they can offer you four hundred and

(16:18):
twenty millions, so it's twenty milliondollars, but you've already got four hundred
so you know. But they dotry to make it so like if you
draft somebody, they make it easyfor you to keep them. Right.
Yeah, it's and it's purely money, like I mean, as you talk
about it out of nowhere, likeRodge brought La Rochelle from nothing to winning
it twice. Yeah, I mean, but fucking Daddy Warbucks stood in too.

(16:41):
It wasn't just okay, No,the French all have rakes some money.
They've all got sugar daddies, likebecause because they they're all owned by
like oil billionaires. Yeah right billionairesare lads who own hair products from the
eighteen hundreds. Do you know whatI mean? It's it's it's looted,
Chris, Like, they go,okay, I will give you two more

(17:03):
million for the player. But youknow, and how did they how did
they convince because I remember when Sextonwent over to France but then he came
back. Yeah, because they howdid they make that work as worth as
while I was actually he was like, I'm sick of living here. I'll
go back. There's a I don'tknow how long you have to play in
France, but there's a weird taxthing right if you play, Like Simon

(17:25):
Zebo is back in Munster and he'sjust having the time of his life because
he ain't starting but he's just fuckingrunning Riot trained. You better not be
having too much fun. But yeah, but he no, he's about seventeen
children. Actually now I think he'sall settled down and all the rest of
it, but you know, buthe was. He came back. He
gets some sort of huge tax thing, like huge, he gets all his

(17:48):
tax back that he paid played paidin France, Oh yeah, once you
pay over two years. I thinkin France there's kind of this bursary thing
that set aside for you for whenyou retire from rugby and you get this
fucking wedge. Oh wow. Butlike Sexton, the problem with Sexton was
when they brought him over, theywere like the Journey you would play every
week and I mean fucking twice onTuesdays. Okay, so get the funk

(18:12):
out there or you know, knowingthat you're the target and everybody's just trying
to knack you. Everybody's every andin France, like you could shoot him
in on the field and possibly thecameras would not pick it up, like
they don't give up. Fucking friends, like they don't give I love their
attitude. Like Bernard Jackman who coachedGronoble on the podcast, and he was

(18:33):
telling me that day one he went, we're going right, guys, we're
going fucking doing this and fucking we'regonna have that, and a fella like
putting him aside. It was likemister Burnet, I wouldn't shut the up
and just play, just let themblip like he was at the break in
training. You see to take.He saw the take, you know,
the fitness and the people putting outall the grow you know, ready thinking

(18:55):
that the we're gonna put out likeyou know past you know for carbs,
just to fucking bust on through theday, thinking he was going to see
you know, fucking Henry, youknow, proteins and stuff like that Greenby
because we're gonna outside. It wasa nice day, not at all.
There was fucking caviar, There wasfucking clammy sausage, there was fucking baguette.
Leads were having a fag and maybethere's still that's hilarious. I love

(19:18):
a professional athlete who still smokes.Man, I think that's so funny.
Isn't a class but like some guyscan pull it off. Just still have
the odd fag, like you know, like just and the odds are good
that they're going to be French ifthat's that's just going to get away with
it. Maybe the Italians definitely,yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, but
do you know what in France too, they'll probably end up being really good
at rugby. But still just giveit to this. He was just told,

(19:41):
what, there's nothing you can dothat you will not change their attitudes
just or you can. This isgonna be a terrible fucking time for you.
Just let them smoke their fags,have they and a supper wine and
they'll get back to train and afterwards. So relax, all. I love
it, would like that it wasit was money. Money is all you

(20:04):
can throw at it. But Iloved it. I never fully understood the
draft, and I've watched enough programsand documentaries about American football and basketball like
but because everybody watched the Last Dance, because they're sporting, you can't book
be inspired by those psychopaths, likeyou know. But I actually turned on
a documentary last night and I onlyI only watched the first episode of it,
but I'm gonna watch the whole thingnow because they suck me in.

(20:26):
It's on the Tour de France.And I have never paid attention to psychling
the interesting. I never at all, No I did. I watched that
one about but that wasn't about cycling. That was about drugs and spying,
and yeah, true, you know, but this is a I guess it's
like a six or seven episode thingthat follows them through the Tour de France
and the way they set it upwhere they're like they're different rival clubs,

(20:48):
and then the different dramatic stories withinthe clubs, like this club his stud
had a crash two years ago wherehe broke every bone in his face,
and like and and now he's backfor the first time. But people don't
believe in it them and how theypick them. It's a it's a I
don't probably should have looked at thename of it before I started this rent,
but it's on Netflix, and it'sa it's a how many Tour de
frints documentaries because it's one of theIt's one of the first ones that kept

(21:10):
on popping up even on like MyMy channel, We'll have and DestinE carry
On and what the Chances Channel,which has a lot of house programs and
whatnot. Horrible Netna just finished thenew Bridgerton too, So I'm all over
the map. Yeah, I'm allover the map. I'm watching all that
Watchgton. I couldn't sit through it, to be honestly, I was still

(21:33):
on the flip of coming off theback end of Downton Abbey. This is
so much better than Downton, Iknow, making fun of these people,
it's yeah, right, I nodoubt and I was like Jesus, Christs,
get too much British things in mylife. Now I'll come back to
them. I'll come back to it, you know what I mean. It
was like us, Jesus Christ,there's a limit to how much Britishness you
can take. Can't we just gowatch something American or fucking Australian or something

(21:57):
for now? Can we please?Christ? All my But it's it looked
and I do the fact that theyhad they Gur from Dairy Girls in US.
I was going to watch it purelyon because she's very funny, isn't
she. She's from Cork. Ithink the originally you got me, but
I'm sure you're right, the blondielittle funny one. Yeah, yeah yeah,

(22:18):
And for that time was going towatch it, but then no,
it was just too much Britishness.And and Downton Abbey had fuck that had
burnt me. Downton Abbey was theone that by the end of I don't
even think we've finished. I don'teven think we got it. Halfway through
the last season, because we realizedthat they were on such a fun they
had. This happens to a lotof TV shows. They had a great
plot for the first season, theyhad a well structured plot with with different

(22:40):
lines coming through, and they didnot think they were going to get renewed,
so they never wrote anything. Theyshot their shot, yeah, and
then they do great, and thecompany in Netflix is like, all right,
here's money, here's four more seasonsof this, and they're just pulling
shit out of the air to tryto make a show about it. So
after a while, every single episodeof Downton Abbey, the first ten minutes
were something's wrong and we're gonna losethe abbey. We're gonna have to sell.

(23:03):
Either it's a shipwreck or a landslideor a plague or a revolt or
whatever. But there's something wrong,and then we're all worried about a word
about a word about it, andthen two minutes before the end of the
episode, it just gets solved becausesomebody who we've never seen before walks in
and goes old Grandpa Charlie, whoyou never heard about, died and left
us money, and now we're fineonto the next episode. So it got

(23:25):
to be like an episode of Cheers, you know what I mean. Like
it was just I was like,this is a sitcom plot on an hour
long thing with a big movie budget, Like, what the hell are we
talking about out here? But yeah, I and I did disappoint went to
talk about big, big budget things. I went to because I was you
were a Game of Thrones too,were you? We watched the first season
and then we watched the second seasonor we got three episodes in, and

(23:48):
like you know you do because Ihave no attention span. We paused and
got some drinks, and as we'resitting down to settle back in at Leasta
goes, I don't care about anyof these people, and I was like,
oh, thank god, neither givingshit what happens to any of them.
The only person I care about isthe baby dragon. Like, so
I would dip in and out andwatch like an episode if it was dragon
heavy, because I like watching dragonsfly around and beat people up. But

(24:10):
I could have ten minutes of anepisode of each one. Just move me
on. Because the thing is I'dread the books as a child, so
that was the only thing that Istayed with. I went but the books
are very good well, and itwas got increasingly worse. It was like,
and by the time they got tothe end, You're like, oh
fine, grand I loved. Idid enjoy watching because I'm a very online
per person. I did enjoy watchingthe meltdowns that the fans had, how

(24:34):
set everybody was, and how shitethe ending was, and uh, and
what's really funny about it is thatthe ending was so bad that it collectively
scrubbed from memory how good it wasbefore that. Yeah, because it was
like a cultural powerhouse to the extentthat you could drop people. Comics were
dropping Game of Thrones references into bitsthat had nothing to do with Game of

(24:56):
Thrones, like every you know,any promo for a new dishwashing liquid would
be like dragons and swords like itwas. Really it was really setting the
tone. But it was so badthat that immediately stopped. That immediately stopped,
and everybody dropped it. I couldn'tsay, to be honest with it,
the way it ended. I waslike, Oh, yeah, that's
what else could the boys do atthat stage? You run out of ideas,

(25:18):
burn it all up? What couldyou do at that stage? That's
exactly what I would do. Iwould go, We've made our money,
haven't we, And they want todo a couple of spinoffs or grant we
have to force them to not beable to renew the show. How do
we do it? Kill everybody?Let's make like it's the end of a
Shakespearean tragedy and everybody's dead. Yeah, because they they had the spinoff and
I lasted half an episode and literallywas like that n attached to myself watching

(25:42):
she was like, got it,Hey, I'd send a run into that
wall. I'm like, yeah,this is beyond this is this now is?
I felt like an old guy atit in a youthful bar to know
you're gone, dude, yea packetin packet in oh dude? That okay,

(26:03):
there's a there's a Tipperary bar onCamden Street. Ryan's yeah, and
I very much. One of myfavorite things to do is to sit in
a bar by myself and string aboutthree pints and read a book. And
that's a gorgeous bar, beautiful barto do it in. Yeah. But
for the first since since living whereI live, I live pretty close to
Camden Street and September, October November, I can't do that in there because

(26:25):
I come in around five, Isit down, I find a seat in
a nice place, and then theplace fills up with seventeen and eighteen year
olds who are up to go toUCD. Yeah, And for a half
a minute, I'm like, oh, cool young people. They're like me.
I'm because when I walked into thepub, I was the young guy.
Yeah, because everybody else there's sixtyyears old and they're really racing posts

(26:48):
and they're watching the horses on TV. And I'm like, look at these
guys. None of them knows howto use their phone. And then I
read my book and I see thesekids come in. I'm like, okay,
cool kids, All right, great, I might get another pipe,
But firstone to the bathroom and yougo in and you look at yourself in
the mirror. Oh god, Igotta get out of here. I gotta
get out of here before one ofthese kids is like, sir, do
you know a lawyer? Oh mygod, yeah, yeah, the these

(27:12):
people are not for me. Youcan during the summer time they're all out
of there. It becomes a lovelypublican. You can blame the two Johnny's
for that, because they make referenceto it all the time, like and
that's why, because that's happening.Yeah, that's and that sons of bitches,
And you know what's you know what'shilarious I was in there. I
was doing a show in Wheeland's onetime, and it's right next to it,

(27:33):
and I used to like popping inthere. Yeah, but I never
really because again I used to livejust over the road from where you are
now, remember, And I wasin there and I went in with him.
I made my Morgan and he's fromTipperary, went this Tipperary bear.
I went every second, welcome heron. Here is Tipperary. It seems
to be a thing to nail as. What's the betting? Their owners aren't

(27:55):
even from Tip. And I saidit to you man behind the counter,
and I you are you in theplace? He went, yeah, well
you know the wife's originally and yeah, yeah, I mean you from tipper
You went, nah, it's thewife. Why are you doing the whole
Tip thing? He goes, itfakes money, it's a thing that's like

(28:15):
it's like, I'm from Vienna,I'm a poet. I met this girl.
And what about the hurling up thepremier. I'm like, what,
but I think horror family. Butthey just hung onto the whole Tipperary vibe
because for some reason, there's whenyou look at it, there's a fucking
break of them there's when you actually, this should be an investigation for you

(28:36):
because you are around town. Yeah, they're start in Chaplains. Remember they
used to a comedy cup chap startthere, and they will tell you,
they'll name them all out for herebecause I was into the Chaplains. I
always remember Chaplains was such a notto use the pejorative term, but it
was such a cultural bar that theSam maguire would pass through there and then
and I forget the name of theone for the hurling, Yeah, the

(29:00):
Liam McCarthy. Those cups were passingthrough there so often that I saw them
voice or twice and I was like, I'm not a fan. I mean,
I'm kind of a fan, butI'm not a fan enough for this
to be as big a deal asit should. And I'm like, well,
what the fun because it's not thatnice a bar. Yeahine, but
yeah, and but so what thehell are people doing bringing this stuff in
here? But you telling me thatthey are down country legends of a pub

(29:22):
and an established place. But thatmakes sense because people come up to Dublin
and they need to know where togo, you know, so they talk
to people in their hometown before theyleave. They're like, all right,
well where should I go for theguy Ryan's or Chaplain's like they you know,
they're not experimental type of people.They're not gonna walk by somewhere and
go I've never heard of this.Let's give it a shot. Maybe they've
got a lovely Portobello mushroomburger. Ican try. You know, this is

(29:45):
the thing. I guarantee there area place that have no affiliation whatsoever,
but they're like, hey, whoa, we just want to make some money.
So because I because what struck mewas I saw a poster in the
toilet before heading upstairs to the club, I went the Double Weight I get
this right, the Tipperary Dublin PubOwners Association. Right, I went,

(30:08):
what the fuck does and they werehaving like a golf society day. I'm
like, so, I barely hadever spoken to the man behind the baronet.
Yeah. And then he kind ofbecause he'd always been rude to me,
Oh what's the crack with it?And he heard my accent and he
was like, I am from TipYeah, So I gave him the stone

(30:32):
cutter's handshake, like and then yeah. But because I was annunciated my words,
because I had a better attitude thanhe had to be fair more than
anything. He was just grumpy,but he kind of filled me in and
then trays Ryan, Ryan, Yeah, her her dad is on the hapne
you know, And oh did younot know about all? That's a big
thing. Like literally, it wasa said thing in the fifties that if

(30:55):
you didn't get the farm, youdidn't get sent teaching, you didn't go
into something civil service or the priesthood. Um, you should dublin work in
somebody's pub exactly and don't come backto your fucking own one. Basically,
sure, he like I remember talkingabout making he he literally did not know
there was to have a day offin seven years his first because they worked

(31:17):
him that hard, seven days aweek, including Christmas days, because that
would be the day you deep cleanthe bar, right and they might be
able sneaky binds as well. Andhe works seven day seven years straight before
somebody went you should probably go downhome, no where. He's such a
grumpy past Yeah yeah, but nowealthy like but it's if that's what it

(31:37):
takes, man, I'm never gonnabe wealthy. I don't have that drive
in me. I don't have it. I like a weekend man. Yeah,
where were you on holidays again?Jim, Jim, you need to
do a travel blog podcast. Thereis nowhere in the world. We got
no kids, and it's like wewere to do. It's what we like
to do. So we were inGreece. We were in Santorini. Nice.
Let's we'll see if we can getan airline of sponsorship on this.

(32:00):
Did you know that aer lingus Inow have direct flights from Dublin straight to
Santorini. These sunny isles of Greececan be yours for one three and a
half hour flight, no stopovers.US Dublin to Santorini five times a week.
I'm sold, sold, I wantto go to you should go.
I want to go to Greece becauseI have no interest in Spain's or portacles.
I'm short, are lovely, butI want to go to Greece.

(32:21):
Greece, Greece is incredible. Idon't know why. You know, when
you have something in your head,You're like, I grease just looks lovely.
It just looks love You're not wrong, You're not wrong. So okay,
So we're on the island of Santorini, and if you if you've you
know what it is. It's oneof your windows backgrounds when you start your
computer. That's how it's got.It's got. All the towns are built
into the side of the cliffs andthey're all painted white, and there's a

(32:44):
couple of tiny little churches with domesand the domes are all painted bright blue.
It's built for Instagram. Oh god, they must have tripled their their
tourist budget since Instagram came out.Because some of the streets onto the streets
with the perfect little view where thehouses all line up and then there's the
dome and you can stand, thosewere pretty crowded. But outside of that,
it wasn't bad at all. Becauseit's kind of early in the year,

(33:04):
you know what I mean, Alot of people are still still dealing
with schools and families and crap.But it was gorgeous. It was gorgeous.
You had a taxi guy tell methat the reason the buildings are all
white. Now he could have beenbullshitting me. I'll believe it. I
don't care. It's a good story. But the story is that during the
plague, not the one that youand I lived through, the original one,
they figured out that if you limewashed all the walls, then then

(33:27):
that would make it a bit cleanerand halt the spread of disease, or
at least that's what they believe.So they did that. They they lime
washed all the walls, and thenevery British tourist and everybody went back to
Frances, like, you wouldn't believethis town. It's beautiful, and the
sunsets and the buildings are all paintedbright white. They're all painted bright white,
and so it just looks incredible withthe sunset and they all turned pink.
And then they realize, oh mygod, we're onto a winner here,

(33:50):
like you're like your fake country pub. And they're like, okay,
by order of whatever government it is, if you own a building in this
town and it's ever not bright white, we are taking it from you.
That's it. You keep it clean, you keep it spotless. It must
be like I can't imagine how oftenthey have to paint those things. It's
like that thing with the you know, the Golden Gate Bridge, how they
never stopped painting it. They juststart at one end and they paint it,

(34:10):
and it takes them a year topaint it. So then they started
again and they just paint it.They're just constantly painting the Golden gate bridge
to keep it red. Well,my I remember whitewashing my grandparents farm walls.
They were always and at least twicea year it would need it.
But this stuff, because it waslime, it was essentially like a cement
in its own right. Yeah,I think walls actually got stronger as a

(34:32):
result of it because they it wouldship like I guess, yeah, it's
gonna build up like way more thanpaint would. Oh wait, well this
was a truck or something. Ithink it must be made. A truck
like hit off a wall one timeand I can remember it was like an
inch and a half take of thislimewash paint. Like, oh, you
can just build a shitty wall andthe next to mark twice a year before

(34:55):
you know it, decade later,you've actually got a decent wall with a
structure actually some load bearing capacity.Like I think I stayed in an apartment
in Dublin when I first moved therewhere the builders took that attitude but with
wallpaper. They were like, ifwe keep putting more wallpaper on this bastard,
then we won't need to install heatingbecause it'll just sweat. Yeah,
you do. Wonder what Dublin hasin the CENTERINI has. You're like,

(35:17):
well, come to Dublin, now, come to Centerini. Oh I think
I'm to Dublin. It's got somuch more. Yeah, that's the thing
when you're somewhere like that and youcome back to Dublin. I love Dublin.
I absolutely love living here. WhenI'm away from Dublin for too long,
I actually miss it, you knowwhat I mean, which is I
remember the first time that happened.I was on a two week trip with
business thing to San Francisco and thenoff somewhere else, and halfway through,

(35:39):
I was like, God, Ijust I'd love to walk down a damp
street and go to a pub,you know, Like I was having a
great time, but I missed it. But then this time, we get
back from Dublin and we flew in, so we arrive at two thirty in
the morning on Sunday morning, soeverybody's still out and it's just a taxi
to get home. I'm like,we are just the garbage is piled up
and everybody's hammered, And I waslike, christ, if would have gotten

(36:02):
home, it's three hours later.It would have been fine, would have
been quiet like the seagulls, youknow. But we were right. We
drove right through the carnage of thetown to get home. It's it's funny
like I did like two gigs ontwo different weekends, and I did a
gig oh um. It was acorporate that paid really well, so that

(36:22):
kind of breaks your outlook, right. But it was just off of William
Street. So I parked in theDrury Street car park. I know what
parker space right there in trouble foryou walked out a lot of hays Again,
it's everywhere, like a lot ofpeople who think they're on selling sunset.
Like you'd relaxed. Let's it's stillfucking Ireland. But at the same
time, okay, I get you, I get you, but put some

(36:43):
socks on for the Christ's sake andstop rolling up your trousers. You're not
fucking you're thirty odd. Come on, have you seen have you seen the
socks that you want to you werewhen you want to make it look like
you're not wearing socks. They infuriateme. It's five toes and it goes
about halfway up the arch and itstops there it's so funny. At has
your bottom for me like a coupleof years ago, like a gag?

(37:06):
I think, She yeah, Ithink sometimes she buys me things like he'll
either get angry at this, whichis also funny, or maybe he might
use it. And she bought methese socks and I, oh, I'm
like the cheer it clearly I thoughtthought they were from my child. I'm
like, yeah, he doesn't eatsocks yet these are It's like one like,
no, they're for you. I'mlike, and what what fucking universe

(37:30):
do I put these on? She? Oh no, they finished right below
the top of your trainer. AndI will suffer chafing. Woman. This
is not no no no, no, no no no no no. Once
I passed like the twenty one mark, that ship goes out the window.
Now I have to wear my clothesangry, and so I cannot. I
cannot venture into this world. Iwas talking about that with somebody where country

(37:53):
guys have a real rigorous application ofdiscipline when it comes to their dress codes.
They don't take no new ideas.You get looked that weird if you
wear sunglasses down the country, likeyou should just squint. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. The fock's wrong with you. The fock's wrong with you.
You're setting yourself up for a fallas soon as sometimes as soon as the

(38:15):
sunglasses twelve days of the year,like as soon as the outlaw sunglasses.
Jim, where will you be?Then you won't be used to Squinton.
Who's gonna outlaw? Oh oh,Jim, You've seen enough crazy stuff in
the last two years. If theycome after our sunglasses, you know the
sunglasses. I have a conspiracy theorythat I like that nobody on your podcast
is gonna get I don't know ifyou wanta brought it up. Michael Jordan

(38:37):
is Jimmy Butler's father. Secretly,Jimmy Butler plays for the heat. It
doesn't matter. Yeah, here's one. Here's one that you might say you
like. There's a conspiracy theory thatI like a lot. Butthead is Beavis's
father, Wow, because they livein in Beavis's house, but heeads always
calling his mom's floot. They neverestablish how old they are to teach.

(39:00):
Seem to be more familiar with Buttheadin the school than they are with Beavis.
Like when Beavis kicks off, they'relike, what's wrong with you?
When butthead kicks off. They're like, oh, butthead not get off,
And butthead does imply sometimes that he'sgotten laid before, and Beavis obviously never
has. If I was to believeeither two is after getting laid it,
Devine was, Yeah, it's definitelyboth head. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

(39:20):
you don't know that he's not olderthan him. He's learning any DC
shirt that that predates Beavis's Metallica shirtby a lot. Oh it does.
Yeah, the older gentleman would beinto it more than a Wow. That's
that's I think you're It's not evena conspiracy anymore. I'm one chips across
the table all in that one.Jim, there isn't anyway for our nineties
kids out there, But I pullyou know what, you're being harsh on

(39:49):
the country guys. There's there's realcountry country lads, and they normally come
from down the north more than anything. And they they're the ones who latch.
They latch like I I don't mindwearing show in public. It's the
silliness of the socks. It's like, come on, come on, just
wear comfortable flip flops or something like. It's just what are you doing?
You would you want to like,how fast do you think you need to

(40:09):
be gone? Like just it's ifyou need to alter your socks. You're
like, come on, come on. There's a fun part in every dude's
life, and it's between like eighteenand twenty four where you just pick up
little affectations of stuff to be like, am I gonna be? Am?
I gonna be a Fedora guy?Am I a Fedora guy? I think?

(40:30):
I mean, maybe buy one andyou put it on and you're like,
I'm gonna wear this, and youlike, you try it out amongst
a group of people you don't know. You go into a bar where you
don't know anybody, and you're like, this is normal, right, I'm
just a guy who has Fedoras.I never did full fedor. I mean
I did buy one, but andI worked for about a month and I
was like, this is stupid.I wore a waistcoat once and you give

(40:50):
me shit about it. It wascool looking. I know it was cool,
but you give me a load ofshit about it. So I was
like, uh huh, I wasright about this waistcoat. Leave it at
home. I turned you play thisback when I smoked. I used to
think I was going to be azippo guy for a little while. Oh
lighter guys, and then there's zippoguys. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zippo is the Zippo's fun if ifyou got a d D like me,

(41:12):
because it does give you a littlething to play with. You can
learn little like tricks to pop itopen and stuff like that, so that's
kind of fun. But even that, I was like, dude, who
do you think you are? Comeon, yeah, you're not even really
a smoker. So that was anaffectation to begin with. To layer on
top of it, you know,you're not detective. I almost I get
a little bit suspicious when I meetblokes that are they're that guy. You're

(41:35):
like, how how empty is yourlife? Did you just like a lot
of work? Yeah? Yeah,yeah, you're that guy. Like if
I had to wear the socks,I'm like, all right, if I
got to wear it, like ifit's yeah, okay, But it's not
that I'm going absolute thing. Ijust thought they were the most hilarious that
they looked like children's socks. Andyou know your entire life, Jimmy,
you've pulled on a T shirt.If that T shirt stopped just underneath your

(41:58):
tits, which is what the sockswere doing to me. They stopped at
the at the bony bit of myankle. It was like, No,
you watch movies from the seventies,dudes were wearing those Yeah, but wearing
crop top shirts. I'm sure,yeah, yeah, I'm sure they were.
I'm sure they were a gym lookingnice and smelt. Man, how's
your how's your six pack looking?If it looks great, I don't care.

(42:20):
Do you want to wear If I'mshredded six pack, I'm still not
stopping shart. Get that shart down. No, it just comes. There
comes a time when a man,I'm over forty years old, gym,
I can't. You can't be doingthat shit. You can't, dude.
I was it was so hot outsidetoday. I was walking. I was
walking on outside my like I havea bunch of basketball jerseys. I was
walking around outside my house in abasketball jersey and a bare short shoulder on

(42:44):
a man. Is something that inIreland is a little it's a little iffy.
It's a little it's a little riskrisque. It's a little risque.
It's it's risque, not in asexy way, but in like a class
this way. Oh yeah, ohyeah, yeah yeah. It's like this
guy gonna steel radio out of mycar and I'm like, fuck you.
This is a vintage Patrick Ewing jerseyfrom the New York Knicks in nineteen ninety
four. Okay, this is yetthe fact that you buy that replicative jersey

(43:07):
in war Street, like the buythe replicated jersey. But that's not what
I have. If you were,if you were a person of low character,
do you know what? There areprobably enough people in Ireland nowadays who
have I don't know how or why, but they've had heard themselves. So
maybe it's from their early childhood,have been ignored and only left with the
television. But we talked about likepeople's accents. There are those people that

(43:29):
had twelve year old American accents arenow in their thirties. Authorities have had
heared themselves so hard to be inAmerica, like they know, like they
get so caught up with American politics, like yeah, but you don't know,
you don't even know who your localminister is. What's that is ridiculous
to me? Like the worst thingabout Trump was well that was the worst
thing about Trump, but that wasa particularly local annoyance thing because it made

(43:52):
a lot of people pay attention somuch so that people were like, are
you following the fourth representatives race outthe state of Delaware? And I'm like,
no, why the hell? Whatnone of this time? I know
people who went to American everything,like to celebrate Biden's inauguration, Like could
you not have done it at home? You made? Yeah? Could you

(44:13):
could have done it at home?And but it's this like there's a whole
family I know, and they havethey've gone so deep into like the Seahawks.
They've gone they have is the momor dad from the not huh Dublin
like, and they're so in thebut they talk about Joe like they know

(44:37):
him, but your Joe doesn't knowJoe. What are you talking about?
For Christ's sake? And they gotlike, oh my god, but what
if? And they start naming likethings about the cost sign that starts of
stuff you get brought on news,talk to time, but talk about privates
and stuff like that. In thecollegiate, Gotta, I gotta, I
gotta call them and tell them weneed to start up the political machine again.
It's it's and you're gone. Butat the same time, I've just

(45:00):
raised our fucking taxes. Any Jennyopinions about that? And that no,
several crisises, crises CHRISTI going onin Ireland's time. You've got an opinion
on the hospital bed shortage or thehousing shortage either yea and no, because
it's not glamorous, you see,that's the problem. It's not glamorous,
do you know what I mean?You got people with names like yours or

(45:22):
people you grew up with, likeDara Murphy isn't and you're like, no,
I need somebody with a Scazowski atthe end of the name. It's
kind of like because I've been postinga bunch of yeah look at me up
online Jim Elliott comedy. I'm onTikTok and Facebook and Instagram and lot crap,
and I have been recently because Ilike, I do follow politics,
and I follow Irish politics, andI've been writing jokes about about Enoch Burke

(45:44):
and about every time there's a newhousing U scandal. Dude, if you
are, if you work in governmentand you haven't declared all your rental incomes
yet, they're coming for you.What's the matter with you? Anyway?
But I'll do jokes about that,and then I'll post them online and they'll
get a little bit of attraction sometimesbecause the people that are in the political
humor love that there's somebody making funof Irish politicians. But I had a
theory. It's like, how comeno other I don't know any other Irish

(46:07):
comic that will sit down and goout of their way to write material about
like when Leo got caught making outwith some dude in a car. Yeah,
nobody else had a joke about that. I'm like, nobody's gonna write
a joke about that, that's Lars. My theory is that because Ireland's so
small, everybody knows somebody that's somehowrelated to that guy. It's like,
well, I don't want to bemaking fun of poor Steve's brother in law.

(46:28):
Then Steve will feel bad, youknow what I mean? Like your
circle is too small, and youknow you're probably don't want to be seen
to make fun of people. You'reprobably nicer about it than I am,
probably closer to correct. But becausemy whole thing is that I don't know,
since kind of we joined the EUand everything, we've just been little
brother. We've just been little brotherand told what to do, patted on
the head. But let's be honestabout you guys. You guys troll your

(46:51):
own destiny. Yeah yeah, wedo. Yeah yeah, anyway, I
have to the extent that anybody does. We're all we're all under the auspices
of the of the almighty dollar.Like dollar, I just mean all of
the money. It's that. It'sthe big speech from the end of Network.
We saw the movie Network. Itwas a good movie. There are
no nations, there are no countries, there is no West, there are
no Arabs. There is only money, one multivariate and systematic oligachy of dollars,

(47:19):
petro dollars, shekels, pounds andyen. And that's it. Yeah,
I love that film. It's it, you know what it is.
But that's that's why I do thinkthere's that Irish people that have never paid
heavily to it. Again, thatit has been glamorized. But you I
guarantee people here no more about what'sgoing on in the UK. Probably it's
it's just for whatever reason, it'saround the clock on your phone or on

(47:40):
Sky News or whatever it's on,you'll get a brief rundown on politics.
The news here in Ireland and that'sit. But you know what I mean,
it's just skewed one way or theother. You know, I mean
they but for some reason, Irishpeople have never seen a glamorous side to
it. They were like, yeah, yeah, fucking fine. Now I'd
say Irish people not all, notall, not all. I think we

(48:04):
just care more about sports. Imean political nerds are like I'm from Washington,
DC and some because it's in theair there. But then you meet
somebody who, like I moved herefrom Nebraska because I wanted to be close
to the like, like, dude, I have to follow this stuff,
Like what what what's your excuse?You were? You were a place with
actual culture. I remember when afriend of mine moved to San Francisco and

(48:28):
he's my best friend, and whenhe came back, like a couple months
after being there, we went outfor a beer and I was like,
what's it like out there, man, he goes, Dude, nobody else
talks about politics. Nobody gives ashit. We're the only city in America
that talks like this. Everybody elsetalks about the movies or TV or sports
or stuff, and only US idiotsare sitting around going that Treasury bill will
never pass, the dead ceilings tooclose, blah blah blah blah. But

(48:51):
and he's like, we're twenty two. Why are we talking like this.
None of us working it, neitherof our fathers or senators, Like we
should be talking about how to getlaid? What's the matter with do you
know? It's it's I think there'sa lot of stories to be told from
it. Maybe that's why there's someonemuch Maybe it gets so much traction here
because there's a lot of like there'snothing to be told in the way of
culture. In Nebraska. You'll almostnever watch a program, but there's a

(49:14):
fucking there's an't there's a TV showbeing written every week. Yeah, you
know in politics in America in Washington. So you're like, oh yeah,
and it just keeps on getting funneled. And you know what I mean,
you throw in a CIA can leaka paint on it, and you're like,
of course, I mean, yeah, no problem. Fine, Now
I have an interest, like Idon't know what something popped up. It
was a it was a role ingovernment popped up in the TV show as

(49:36):
about a month ago, and Ihad to catch myself went and it was
like the chief of staff. Youknow something somebody just wanted. It's the
chief of staff. You know,it's one of these And I I explained
it to myself who the chief ofstaff at the time of about Shut up,
Tom, you don't even know stopstop geez oh no, when you're

(49:59):
not supposed to to know. Theonly person that's supposed to know is the
staff. They all know who thechief is and that's it. But what
what makes me laugh is like you'llhear people bitching about it or whatever,
and it's all like I get questionson the podcast about American politics and stuff,
and I'm kind of going, doyou think there's one single American gives
one fuck? The only And Tipperarysays, also the only the only thing

(50:23):
that I've seen pop up in Americannews of latest you know that the calling
of two hundred thousand cattle that hasbeen proposed in Ireland, like, which
is kind of insane, Like,you know, is there a foot and
mouth outbreak? Why do they wantto call that? Because they're being told
by Europe that, yeah, itwill reduce CO two in the world will
be a better place. Jim.I mean, they're not wrong, they

(50:45):
are fart a lot they do,but what the here's here's and this an
argument I actually had. Would I'dbe a low level politician close by and
he was kind of going, well, you know, and he was kind
of talking on behalf of the firmswhen they leave a lot of meeting us.
Has there ever been a test onwhat what envelops methane? What what
takes in methane? What's what reallystrives? But I know the answer to

(51:07):
that question, And he went,I would, And he was looking at
me. It's like, you're you'retalking about this bill has been passed from
countries that have huge feed lots,Yes, huge feed lots like France and
Spain, Germany. But what dowe have here? Where do we where
do our cows mostly eat fields?Where in the countryside? Guess what does

(51:30):
really well on methane? Grass andtrees really well? Have you measured how
much methane a hectare of grass canpull in? First, he was looking
at me like, why would youthrow all these algorithms at me? Look,
just saying you haven't tried the newplants. Huh, I haven't,
I do, I haven't, Iwill, I will, I'll give it

(51:52):
a go. I draw a lineat the labmate meat, I'll go no,
I'll just go veggie if if we'reokay, I got no problem with
you. You know they uh,somebody just made lab made milk. I
was reading about it. Read Isuppose that that's not too far off.
The need would be tough to me, Like that does a lot in that,
don't care. You see you seewhat like I like to eat fish,

(52:15):
and then you find out what afish farm actually looks like, and
you're like, oh, I guessI'm not the pickiest eater that I thought
I was. I sure, ifyou can make it at least even close
to what it tastes like, fine, Jim. For anybody wondering, Jim
once said to me, if itlike, you will never get Jim on
a hardline anything to do with food. Jim once said to me, if

(52:36):
I could just get it all donein the morning time with it pill,
if I could eat a three thousandcalorie pill every morning, I would just
get it out of the fucking waywith a fucking pill. Time. You've
seen all those uh what do theycall them, huel And there's all kinds
of powders that they make or liquidsthat they're and this they're looking for people
like me. They're trying to belike, if you, if food's not

(52:57):
very important to you and you don'tcare and you just want the new trade,
you're sick of the rigamarole, dothis. And so I looked at
it. I was like, oh, maybe maybe I'm close to my pill
dream and it's not it. Whatthat is is they give you three liters
of sludge. You got to drinkthe sludge. And I'm like, well,
that's worse than That's worse than thesystem I have now. Dude,
just let me eat my sandwiches.That's fine. You get rid of Yeah,

(53:19):
you don't need teeth still anything,get on. But it's yeah,
I mean it's I know, Iused quite a fair bit of a fair
bit of edgy. We've been yeah, we've been growing. You see that
this is the thing is much moreinteresting when you grow your own A couple
out with carrots, and it's somuch better. It's just taste so much
better. Like I was just,Lisa and I've been eating the strawberries like
mad because we kind of wait forsummer, yeah, for the Irish summertime,

(53:40):
because you can get strawberries in December, but they're shipped in from South
Africa and they're not great. Yastrawberries. Yeah, dude, the strawberries,
the Wexford or is it Waterford thatone of them Wexford strawberries in the
summertime. It's one of the best, god damn things. And I sound
like a lunatic when I talk topeople about back home, because I'm like
you, no, no, no, don't understand. Yeah, it tastes

(54:01):
like nothing you've ever had. Itexplodes in your face like a porn film.
It's incredible. It's it's just thebest. And they just are wonderful.
They're wonderful. So yeah, ifyou're growing your own vegetables, I
bet, I bet a pepper comesout of your garden tastes so much better
than a pepper somewhere else, orit's a at or something. I never
even considered about the pepper thing,and they've just come up this year and

(54:21):
you're like, for fuck's sake,what the fuck have I been eaten?
And I've been I've been trying toeat Like there's a there's an organic farm
coop Neros, you know, inthe town about ten miles away, so
I've been trying to buy from theseguys. Albeit it's kind of expense,
but you tried to do them aturn. They're trying to make a few
quid and it stuff does taste good. But they had peppers and stuff,
and even at that, it waslike, oh yeah, but he would

(54:43):
have had him or she would havehad him maybe a week. You eat
one of those fucking things straight offthe fucking vine. Yeah, he eat
it like an apple. Yeah,just know it's it's ridiculous like everything.
But it's funny how far gone peopleare. Because I'd raw milk for the
first time in months, sorry,first time in years, years I've ever

(55:04):
had raw milk. It's gonna goone of two ways for you, Jim.
Either you'll go now let's go backto the other or what the fuck
have I been drinking? What ifI been drinking? You bastard has been
holding out on me. It's it'sit's astronomically good. And it wasn't like
in my head. I almost turnedto Christopher Robin I remember my country childhood.

(55:24):
No, it was just Jesus christOkay, I'm gonna have that in
a glass and then I'm gonna haveit with coffee. Taste everything with coffee.
If you can, if you cando, you're right, buy coffee.
I shrink my coffee, black man, I just buy. I do
buy nice beans. And I havea grinder. That's really the And once
you have a grinder, you don'teven have to buy nice beans as long

(55:45):
as you're not backing ground coffee.Yeah, that's the only real differences.
It's the freshness of it again,like it's exactly it's Yeah, you grind
it up and expose it to oxygen. It's starting to turn on you.
So but it's it's funny. Iwas talking about a guy he's from Croatia
the other day and he's comes froma great village, great sounding village in
that what they did was and theystill to this day, they're very cooperative.

(56:07):
It hasn't been overrun by you know, your capital, It really hasn't
you know which I'll get there,don't you worry about will get it get
We'll get him. When he saidit the Eddy, I was like,
I need to ring somebody about thisbecause he was saying like his mother still
has beads and harvest sonny, andthey actually have a collective co op.

(56:28):
This guy goes around one of them, like, say, there's ten of
them. Jim, you're on thetruck this week, so you take your
truck, collect everybody's honey, tomadudthe following week, and I collect everybody
and they sell it then and jarredup. Like the way he was describing
and his upbringing and stuff like thatis the lifespan. Their average lifespans,
like one hundred and ten. Ithink I don't. Yeah, I guess

(56:49):
so, like he said himself,like he kind of blew up, got
quite fat when he moved here.Yeah, I got pretty fat here.
And it's unbelievable how lazy you canget when things are easy. I was
like, Jesus, don't go toAmerica. Okay if you if you think
it's convenient here, just delivery aboutthat? Yeah, like I you.
There couldn't be more restaurants within walkingdistance to me. And every night it's

(57:12):
just delivery drivers up and down.I'm like, where are you guys ordering
from? Just it's right there,Like I can I get it? If
you're two miles outside of town,yeah, yeah, yeah, drinking,
so you don't want to drive?Fine, fine, Fine, But we're
around the block and the people orderingfrom some kind of huts there and they're
delivering there, and I'm like,don't you feel stupid When a guy in

(57:34):
a bicycle pulls up, It's like, I brought you your food. Yeah,
you gotta make some sort of hunton him. It the body you
need to hunt. You gotta go, you know what I mean. But
the guy, the guy, hetried. I said, did you have
raw milk as a kid. Hegoes, oh god, yeah, he
said, I'll tell you a goodone. He's a couple of weeks ago,
we were at a market and Limerick. I brought home some of my
kids who are Irish raised. Idrank some. I couldn't believe how much

(57:58):
I hated it because I was angryat myself because I wanted that pasteurized feeling
of nothingness. He says, thiswas just too much milk, man,
and he's too much milk and dialeddown the milk. Yeah, you got
any diet milk, but this iswhat he said. He was like,
it was just it was too muchmilk. Tom, I'm not kidding.

(58:20):
My kids that are modern kids.They fucking disgust. It was disgusting,
and for me, it was itwas ludicrous and I give it to the
tash it would have never had it, and she did that kind of had
it. Dude. The suburbs inAmerica, it always blows LEAs away.
We go home to visit my parents. You buy a loaf of bread in
the supermarket and you can stick iton your shelf for a month. A
stude never goes bad because it's justloaded with preservatives, because it's it's too

(58:44):
much bread and the bread you eat. We got bread that's been stepped on
the bad he left. It's likea Simpsons like say some bunty barns about
that too much bread in this bread? Bread? Now with less bread,
now with fifty percent less bread.I want come on bread or you want
bread. There's there's like there's anorganic crowd over in Dublin eight. I

(59:05):
think you should cycle down there somedaybecause I remember Tommy James, it was
a co op, was a bigsetup. It was near Yeah, Tommy,
it would be mad about that stuff. And I wonder would they have
raw milk in there. I'd bejust really really good. Test would be
used to test you know what Imean? Because again, if you've never
had it, that sounds to melike something that will explode your stomach if
you've never had it, like yougo googolo, God, damn, that's

(59:28):
good. Can I use your bathroomimmediately? I wonder, I wonder because
no, Natasha wasn't. She didn'tsay it was strong on or something.
At the big thing for me isthat it smelt of nothing, nothing,
And you think, oh, itwould be smell of more. No,
it smelt of nothing, Like whatare we smelling in our non raw milk?

(59:50):
That milk additive. It's like that. It's like you ever hear somebody
drive by in a in a fullyelectric car. Yes, that sound that
they added that sound, Yeah,that's not the doesn't make And then yeah,
so that I hate that sound.Well, once I found out that
it was added, and then Iwas like, oh, some nerd was
comparing engine spaceships tracks from some goddamnprogram. Oh, they had to have

(01:00:15):
a meeting and they got into areally violent argument about it, like starfleet
spaceballs. No, but that's yeah, And that's that's the thing that when
something is undermined like that, yeah, a complete When I when I,
oh, I would have no almosthad that was the sound of an electric
motor, I'd be like that's cool. That's what batteries sound like. But

(01:00:35):
now that I know that there's likespeakers hidden, like, why not go
all into I can actually have tomake a Yeah, yeah, make a
play music a little that it justthis should have put like spokey dokis.
You remember those little checkers you couldput on your chop. Sure, there
you go, I'll hear those commentput another hundred ground tesla, why not?
Yeah? But I do remember Imade mind given he'd grown carrots in

(01:01:00):
his allotment and gave it to hisfriend's daughter, who was young kid who
was like humelesome carrots. He justwanted carrots. She minded her weight or
whatever she wanted, just but shejust loved national carrots. And they were
always pre washed, pre cut carrotsfrom Tesco. What her in the bag
and he gave her carrots. Theychopped up the carrots, give him a
wash, put him in a boat, fur into it. Oh Jesus rist

(01:01:22):
it was facing turned down the fuckingcarrot. Turned down the carrot. There's
too much carrot. I need sunglasses. I can't stare at the carrots like
this is there's too much going onhere. Yeah, So that's that's kind
of what made has made veget tobuilds and vegetarianism or whatever. But again,
I'm not politically driven. They turnedhow did they turn eating food political?
Like, do you know what?Are you kidding me? I know,

(01:01:43):
I know bud lights woke, nowthat I mean to Budlight was pissed
to start with, Like it wasfucking pissed. That is the funniest part
of it, that everybody's arguing overbud Light. I got a theory about
beers in that in that regional beersare they're perfect for the place that they're
designed to be consumed. Yes,so American beers are designed to be consumed

(01:02:07):
while you are sitting in the sunin August at a baseball game and it's
hot. Yeah, you're gonna needto drink about seventeen of these to keep
yourself cool. So they can't bethat strong, and they gotta be light
and they gotta be cold. Sothat's why those beers are popular. You
don't drink. Beers are not designedto be consumed outside. Now, They're
designed to be consumed inside. Ye, in a pub while you're hearing about
someone you knew who's died. Yeah, that's what a Guinness is perfect for

(01:02:30):
yes when you want that. Sothat's how that's my theory of beer taste.
So yeah, bud light is terrible, Cores Light, all those guys
of the light garbage beers, Millerlight was always my jam. I just
had a you could do the tiniestbit of flavor to it. Yeah,
but yeah, that's the only excusablereason to drink it. I won't keep
you too dumb, but I've droppedthis bomb on you. Hit me.

(01:02:50):
Budweiser, all those Wisers and allthose things being drank completely incorrect. According
to an Austrian hunter, I'm atone time on a skiing holiday. Is
this is this the crazy foam theory? No, well I don't know what
that is. But his one waslike, prior to to Budvar, whoever
the family were that fucked off outof Germany before they went to the States

(01:03:15):
with their recipe, you didn't drinkthe fucking because I saw him ordering a
bottle of beer. And I rememberthis guy had met him a couple of
times, big hefty guy he was. He was actually a yagameister, which
is a hunting master. Yeah,he would take people out. Yeah,
that's what I and that's you're notsupposed to drink that stuff with kola.
You're supposed to drink that while outthe hunt. Give you a little bit,

(01:03:36):
but it's not that strong, soit won't suck you up, exactly.
I used to drink it while Iwas skiing, just on the chairlift.
Yep. Guy had big, curlymustached a whole lot, and I
was drinking whatever beer and local beerit was. And he ordered a Budwiser
and you want, cracked it openfor him, handed him with a little
glass, and when turned around andwent he was and he bought the pot
because he was speaking in English tobe polite, and I went, what

(01:03:59):
fu and pot? Now you gethe was, Oh, but oh yes,
of course it should be going.But fucking Budweiser should not be drank
cold. That is a tasteless Imass a piece into a bottle and drink
that. That's what he says.What you do, so this is the
method to it, right. Youdon't bang it in the microwave or whatever,
but you warm water in a pot. Then you pour your Budweiser into

(01:04:23):
a glass and sit it into thatfor a minute or two to take it
up. Oh all right, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll buy another
Budweiser, which I couldn't believe.I was fucking order a Budweiser and a
pot of warm water and I satit in and while it wasn't a very
good beer, it was about thestandard of the kind of beer you'd accept

(01:04:45):
if you've got one on holidays fortwo euros. Do you know what I
mean? It was two or three. You're like, oh, I could
drink these all day. This isactually a bit of a taste off this
the actual taste more totally, totally, totally. It was a fucking like
she didn't take thing. She didn'ttake it from the fridge either, She
just took it from the shelf.She just took the first time, somebody
showed me how to add water towhiskey, and I was like, why

(01:05:09):
would you water down the whiskey.It's like, it's not watering down,
dude, It's gonna open it up. It's gonna take yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, samething. No, what I was talking
about with the crazy foam theory isI went down this rabbit hole of watching
a guy talk about carbonation in beersand he's talking about shitty modern laggers to
kind of I drink, and hewas like, there's too much carbonation and

(01:05:30):
there's not supposed to be like youknow how that that poor that everybody does
where it goes to here and thenthe head is like that, yes,
that's not what you want. Youwant to dump it in real fast.
So the head goes like this,and then you wait and then you dump
and we make as much head asyou possible because the more head that you
get on it, that's all carbonationthat you're not drinking. Yes, And
so you want like when people likethat's a sloppy poor, No it isn't.
You want the head to explode andthen wait until it goes back down

(01:05:53):
and then fill it all the wayback up and then that way, ultimately
you can drink more because you're notas full of gas. Well that's when
you think you're actually probably drinking lessvolume because the gas is out of the
fucking thing, because it's a cheatto ram it with gas, because you're
like, that's all this fluffy stuffvolume wise, This fluffy stuff is I'm
here from the beer. I'm outhere having a pint at all. It's
only like a fucking the coulters.The rest of it it is all fuzz

(01:06:15):
for fuck's sake. Indeed, Christ, when's the next time you're back up
in town, dude, we gottahave a beer and I'm not only beer
barely sorry, I'm back in thatsame bar. We're in a Wicklow all
right, next weekend or whatever.Nice? Nice, nice, that's a
good gig. That's fun. ButI think I am up earlier in the
day to do a very quick photoshoot, so in that evening it's a Friday

(01:06:35):
evening with grab grab a beer anyway, but I'm going to try the man.
We need to tie you in withsomebody who's coming down, um and
have you on the hill. Iwould love to come down, man.
Things are getting to come down.Things are getting take. I've heard heard
great things about that joint. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's one
of them ones. You go.This was definitely made by a comedian.

(01:06:57):
This club is made by a comedian, and they've allowed me to make get
if you know what I mean.And it's because there's been talking now,
oh, GESU surely moved to anothervenue like no, this is still on.
Staying with cool cool is the fournumber one thing. Even if we
make a couple of quid great butcool first, Yes, and it make
it make it a good gig?First? Who cares about like we all,
we're not getting rich doing this,dude, No, no, no

(01:07:18):
no. But it's it's a coolthing because it's spreading the word of comedy
as people that have never ever eventhought about it, like a guy.
I've said this before in the podcast, but it was it was something that
struck me when before this this itactually came to my show and another venue
just out out the road, likehe went before, I thought about comedians

(01:07:41):
the same way, about as muchas I thought about astronauts. Now,
he wasn't aligning us, but hewas like I never occasionally there's a movie
about him, and maybe yes,there we go. I knew there was
a fellow once caused buzz and therewas Tommy Tiernan, and that's that's that's
it. I never considered that hewere grew from a you're gonna ruin a
bunch of kids lives as a bunchof kids going to grow up in that

(01:08:02):
town thinking they want to become comics. Yeah, good, good, good
to them. Good. Let thehope they all start open mics in whatever
shitty towns they're in. Yeah,we'll go whatever town you're in. If
you're if you're if you're in yourearly twenties and you're listening to this and
you let you get into tom andyou like comedy. Just start an open
mic, dude, Yeah, youcan buy one. You can buy one
of these and he shoot a littlepa two hundred bucks. I'm sure there's

(01:08:23):
a pub with a room they're notusing and just starting open mic. Just
start it. I tell you.One of the eye openers from me was
Bernard Casey. It was Bernard Caseyput him. He put out his he
put out his bat signal that hewas only doing rural pubs. Who would
only contact him for rural pubs,and he was I think like he did
it. Obviously it was a goodfucking made money, but he did it

(01:08:44):
from the point of view that ruralpubs are suffering. And then he wants
to spread the word of stand upcomedy because he could have just gotte and
done his own show, but hebrought comics with him. Yep, and
he did pubs and he just justsend me a picture. If you've got
to a separate room to the bar, send me a picture and we'll hook
it. Up and he did iteverywhere he did it. I did a
bunch of gigs with him, andthese people just packed out and they were
just like, and they here's theten gyms, they all remember your name,

(01:09:09):
they all remember there isn't a Andhere was your mind that was on
with the fucking Noah's And here wasyour mind that was on with the fucking
Ears. You know, that's thetruth of it, is that you're you're
just another thing to be entertaining,whereas if you're in these towns, you're
fucking only show and the only wetalked about for a month. It's a
great book, you know. Thecomedian Todd Berry, of course, he's

(01:09:30):
got a great book that he wrotecalled thank You for Coming to Hattiesburg.
And he did a tour across Americawhere that was his point. He was
like, I'm not playing Philadelphia.I'm gonna find a town two hundred you
know, two hours outside of Philadelphiathat no one ever goes to. I'm
gonna go to Hattiesburg. Sure,And you know, he booked it all
out, and that's what he did. That was the whole point of it,
was to go places that people didn'tusually go because they got theaters,
they got venue spaces. People justdon't go there because they can't make as

(01:09:54):
much money. And so there's youknow, a whole couple of high schools
worth of kids that got nowhere togo on Saturday night. They'll come to
your ship. There you go.And this is this is the thing.
I've I thought about it before andI've looked into it and it's like,
ah, you have it. Butall of a sudden, no, a
couple of avenues that started opening up, and like nice, oh what the
fuck one second here now? Andnot only that, but you're spreading the

(01:10:15):
world of comedy. People are goingthe comedy is a thing we don't have
to do, you know what Imean, we do It's Friday night.
What are we gonna do? Youcan go to dinner, you can go
to the movies. That's what elseis there we'll come through. You can't
even really go dancing anymore. Twentyyears ago you'd be like, we'll go
to the dance club and we'll goand dance for a little bit. But
that's not Those are all gone.Yeah, yeah, yeah, So it's
it's and even yeah, it's down. Basically, we've almost no fun competition

(01:10:39):
now, I mean it's kind ofyou know, so, so as Jim
was saying, to open a fuckingopen mic and we'll get after it.
This has been somewhat educational. Ithink I learned something. I'm not entirely
sure what the foam thing. Anyway, I'm there there for that and I
left learned how the draft pick works. So and about babies and butt the

(01:10:59):
babies about it. One that willbe Actually, as we look at each
other literally looking like Beavis and fuckingbut Jim is my father. Yeah,
buddy, Jim Elliott everywhere on allthe usual platforms, I'll stick at a
link in the show notes down tobottom. Will follow him. He's fucking
fast, smart. I am ah, thanks a million, Jim. God.

(01:11:23):
I love chat with Jim in theysmashing in they a smashing fellow.
So do follow Jim on all theusual platforms. Jim Elliott with two teas,
two wells and two teas. Forsome reason, Irish people keep forgetting
that as they tend to stick ate into my name. I don't know
why. But anyway, usual platformsfind Jim. Have a look in the
link in the show notes if youwant to follow any of the things I

(01:11:44):
mus talking about earlier in the show. Do hit subscribe if you haven't beforehand.
If whatever platform you're on, typicallymost ease seem to be on Spotify.
So if you are hit the billas well, so you know when
you new one pops up. Wouldyou get an extra podcast every week?
If you do, become a Patreonfor as little as three dollar hares a
month. In fact, a fewpeople already last week have decided to just
buy the year, which I thinkgives you two months or a month off.

(01:12:04):
It's cheaper to do it anyway.That's what you get. You do
actually get extra stuff. Have alook in the link too for all tickets
when it comes to later in theyear for my new show ticking Off,
which is going to be debuting inNovember, but also the Hill Comedy Club
there's half to take their gon forEmmadorn on the twenty ninth of July.

(01:12:24):
Oh the thatlets Dead you know tisthere for you if you want to Afagan,
there's no shorts to Tom if youdo. If you haven't seen my
full special from twenty twenty two,it's also in that link. It's called
Clattered. It was filmed live inthe Rosan Dove had a lot of fun
making it. There's been a lotof nice people sharing it. Hey,

(01:12:44):
that's the thing. Even if youdon't want to do any of them things,
give us a screen grab, tagthe podcast or tag me and a
tag gym in it and let usknow where you're listening, tells other people
about it. And you know what, if you give the five stars on
whatever a platform you're on, doplease as well, because that just those
it to more people. You knowwhat I mean? Right, gone away,
enjoy the rest of them. Agend, don't get burnt. Nike listen things

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265 - Jim Elliott

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