The Power Of Education, Identity & Art ft. Alan Aquino (2017)

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hey there!

(00:01):
My name is Vaughan and this is the Vaughan cast show.
This is a podcast that focuses on mental health, breaking societal stigmas, harm reduction,
addiction and recovery.
If you like what you hear, subscribe and leave a review on Spotify and Apple podcasts.
Also, follow the podcast Instagram @theVonCastShow where I post video content

(00:29):
from the show.
All right.
Let's get into today's episode.
Welcome to the Vaughan cast show.
Today I have special guest with me.
I've been trying to get this guest for, I'm saying, semester and a half.
For those of you who don't recognize first and you might recognize him.
You go to see son, Asian mergers study professor.

(00:51):
How's it going, man?
I'm good.
Good to see you.
Bill Van Nerman's actually having a meal.
How are you, man?
Yeah.
It's possible.
Amber.
It's like this presentation.
Yeah.
It is.
Everybody.
All right.
So we saw an intro, man.
Who are you and what do you do?
Well, my full name is Alan Arnold and Galeninda Akinod.
I'm an adjunct professor for the Asian American Studies Department here at Cal State Northridge.

(01:17):
I am also a published poet and occasionally I have a community organizer and
very occasionally I'm also a graffiti writer only.
I'm good.
That's been more of a recent thing.
Awesome.
Go pool.
All right.
So the show we like to start off with the intro.
Go back to the beginning.
I said, child, do you know what you wanted to be when you grew up?

(01:39):
What aspirations you had?
Well, I was born in Chicago, Illinois in 1974.
I fancy wise when I was a child.
I first wanted to be loose guy Walker.
Investors, you know, that's just the culture I was drawing.
We're in geek culture, but I've already taken root during my release days.
And later on, I wanted to be Superman and eventually I wanted to be Batman,

(02:02):
but career wise when I was a kid, I entertained this idea of actually being a surgeon.
Really?
Yeah, like, total model minority stereotype.
I might know.
But I was a C-section baby and I had an operation when I was young too,
like my tonsils to live and some of the things.

(02:22):
It was amazing how surgeons to me were like magicians because my mom was a nurse working
in a hospital and like, you know, surgeons were these highly trained people who like actually saved lives.
I didn't know what they did.
I just knew that they saved lives and healed people.
So as a little kid, I thought as a career maybe, you know, that would be what I want to do.
Obviously, like, it turned out that way, but as a little kid, yeah, that's what I wanted to be.

(02:47):
I was also a C-section baby.
Oh, he?
Yeah, all right.
All right.
So, yeah, that's pretty cool.
So Luke's pal, but it was probably the time you hope came out.
Yeah, that's the ghost and then Superman, Batman.
So what did you move to panorama city?
Around 1980, it gets weird.

(03:09):
I kind of balanced it back and forth for at least a year of my life.
And 70, I first came to LA in 79 from Chicago, I was about five.
And for that first year, 7, 9 to 80, I was living with extended family in the West Side, actually.

(03:31):
New UCLA.
And then within that time, we eventually moved to panorama city.
And ultimately, my parents came around 1980.
So yeah, I moved to panorama city around 1980.
And I've lived in that area ever since.
I moved back there recently.
And within the general, eight, one, eight area around panorama city, that's basically where I grew up.

(03:56):
Right.
So, drawing up, what was it like in panorama city?
Because I know it's a lot different now than it was maybe the eighties and nineties.
Yeah.
Well, a little history about panorama city that my research sometimes go.
It initially started at this kind of utopian middle class housing project by Henry Keiser,

(04:18):
the industrialist.
He's the mastermind behind like Keiser, the premonentate, all of that.
And he originally wanted it to be like a picture perfect, leave it to be, or kind of white town.
So that was everything?
Yeah, that was the original mission.
And he also implemented restrictive covenants, which meant that people of color could not

(04:38):
purchase property there. So when I first moved there, it's a culture shock.
Let me think about how it turned out.
Majority of my neighbors were white.
They were elderly, like Italian American and Jewish.
And coming from my Catholic family, you go to Massachusetts, say, "Generby."
Imagine going to Massachusetts, say, "Generby, where everybody white."

(05:00):
Oh, wow.
It don't look like that way anymore.
Yeah, I guess not.
No, it's one of the opposite.
Yeah.
My neighbors were, they were very client people to be sure.
My white neighbors that I remember, they were all very client, very decent people.
But they were also elderly.
They be boomers and older.
So many of them retired out or passed away.

(05:23):
And by the 80s and 90s, that's one of a lot more immigrant families.
So like mine started settling there.
And during their earliest days, it was a, it was a, it's, you know,
it was a particularly nice tower back then.
You could go walking at night and feel perfectly safe.
I don't quite feel the same way anymore.
I, you know, I don't necessarily give stiff walking out of me, but it has changed a lot.

(05:48):
And you know, if you want to get an idea of what light is like there now,
it's starting to penetrate pop culture.
I mean, you know, that rapper hop sing.
He even recording the song, "Penor in the City,"
talking about making trouble on Tobias Avenue and stuff like that.
But I can't deny that, um,
regardless of where I was living, I didn't have happy memories.

(06:09):
That's good.
I was always surrounded by extended family,
even though I was boarding only child.
I never was sure on like friends and companions,
like my friends and my cousins.
And even if they didn't live in power city,
we spent time on the regular.
So, you know, I had a very happy childhood, actually.

(06:30):
And I think that's what's really, you know,
informed my way of looking at the world.
Hmm.
There.
I was never in the gang.
I wasn't even like, I was really affiliated.
I mean, I had compadres who were like,
they were gang back most of it, sure.
But not in Penor in the city.
They lived in other parts of, you know, Southern Cali.

(06:51):
But that was the reality of growing up for a lot of kids, my generation.
Some guys joined the gang not because it was a fashionable thing.
It was kind of like the default thing to do, you know, you need protection.
You need to, you need to have people looking out for you,
especially if the city is increasingly becoming one safe.

(07:11):
Hmm.
But I chose not to get affiliated with that.
Yeah, I was thinking about saying what about, I mean, that was very young.
But what about the 90s in LA made it so,
especially on thriving environments for gangs that
published at the end of the way, like, I mean, what do you think it was?
You know, speaking of end of the way, when the first came out,

(07:33):
as far as I can recall, we didn't use that youthful little gangster rap.
Then came later.
I remember when I first heard those records, who was liberating.
So my god, they were cursing, they were angry, they were un-sensored.
They expressed the kind of paranoia and rage that a lot of us at the time felt.
So, you know, those really hardcore records were very liberating for

(07:56):
my generation.
Back then, as I recall, we just called it hardcore.
We didn't call it like, gangster rap, whatever.
In a few years later.
But the purpose of NWA records was to shed life on what really happens on the streets.
It wasn't about glorifying it.
Me easy, he made a solo record that was basically like an X-ray of adventure comedy record.
But NWA's record, which planted the flag on that style of expression,

(08:20):
it was about like cold documentary depictions of what street life was like.
It wasn't about glorifying it.
It was about letting us know that you know if you choose the crooked path,
there's a B site of the game where you don't make it out.
It really wasn't about memorizing it.
What I think really
found the flames of the game tree that just burned out of proportion.

(08:48):
I think crackles that they partially said.
I mean, I never did drugs going up,
but drugs were always easier to get in an alcohol.
I was pretty straight-edge growing up, but I knew
that if you wanted to get high, if you wanted to get guns or whatever,
would it be hard to find?
Just ask around.
So I'm going to see what the page number and there you go.

(09:09):
I'm dangerous.
Yeah, right.
And I think I can only speculate because I was never an active gang member.
But from what I understand,
when the crack tree blew up, that's when things started getting bananas.
Things.
And Peneroma City at its worst, the blight street area,
there's still active gangs in the area,

(09:30):
but they were at their height in the early 90s, like '92 and '93,
where nobody, not even police, would go near the corner of Fountain Eyes and Blight Street.
Really?
Yeah.
And I remember kids like scouts hanging out in the block.
Smoking out with pistols in their belt.
They don't care.
They're like, yeah, it isn't my way.

(09:50):
You're going to do come here?
And it's like, no.
And yeah, I think the crack tree,
in particular, fanned flames of this competition to control that,
because it just got out of hand.
Even though the murder rate was much higher back then,
it's sad to see that either though I only move back,

(10:14):
but a year ago or so.
A lot of those gangs are still active.
None of them are not as hardcore, crazy as they were in their hiding,
but they're still active.
And that'll be by my house.
I will still see inography tags,
some of these local sets,
even russeting each other out and all that.
And it's like, man, something's never changed.

(10:36):
But yeah,
can't complain though, personally, because
life there now, for me, I'm happy there.
Yeah, I can complain about that.
Once I always do this, I always can't
know how to write a shot.
It's my mission that no problem.
We're on the set.
Yeah, we're good.

(10:58):
A lot of them just
use us to look at the ending.
All right.
Okay, so, do you're cool with all that?
Did you say you've wanted to school in
panorama, elementary, middle school, high school, I think?
Actually, no.
Here's where things get interesting.
My schooling has an interesting history of its own.
As I mentioned earlier, when I first moved to LA,

(11:20):
I stayed for a while with some relatives in the West Side,
near UCLA.
So, my first kindergarten class in LA
was at a school called St. Martin,
a tourist, a Catholic school in Bredwood.
Now, it's a good view.

(11:41):
Oh, yeah, it's a good view.
No, Brentwood is like a filthy, rich area.
OJ Simpson lived in Brentwood and he used to go
to the church of my school.
Really?
Yeah, I never actually saw him,
but like the comedian John Candy,
his kids went to my school.
So, for that first year of kindergarten,
I was living in an apartment in the West Side with some relatives.

(12:04):
I went there, then after my parents came,
and we moved to Penner and the City.
I like to say, Martin's so much that my parents decided
to keep me enrolled there.
So now, my pop would drive me to school to Brentwood from Penner,
or I'm a city.
And on the 405, we would take about 20 to 45 minutes to get there,

(12:25):
but it was an investment in education that my parents firmly believed in.
So, you know,
nation, immigrant thinking, that the answer right or wrong,
what it is, what it is. I went to grab her school,
or they'll school at the same time,
the tours in Brentwood.
And that is where I really learned about,

(12:47):
what we now call intersection.
Now that he's a side of social stratification and race stratification,
because aside from it cousin, I was the only Filipino kid,
except for a couple of other hoppokids.
And most of my classmates were really rich,
sometimes filthy rich. It's high in the American.

(13:07):
And Irish Americans.
And there were a few Armenian American families that were really wealthy.
But I remember at the end of the day getting picked up from school.
As some of these kids would get picked up in like,
Bendies.
Wow.
I remember this one kid I forgot who was.
He was like a child actor or something.
He would get picked up in this like, every white Bentley,

(13:28):
with a built-in television and everything.
And all the other families came in with like Mercedes and stuff.
And here comes my pop into 79 Chevy Caprice.
I remember like ducking quits at the car because I don't want the other kids to see me.
And I was the only kid in the whole school who didn't live in a house.
I mean, I'm the dinner small apartment most of my life.

(13:50):
They would always take pity on me.
Like, you don't live in a house?
How sad?
How do you do this?
How do you do that?
You don't have your own swimming pool?
And I'm like, no.
But I'm happy.
Right.
Like, why are you not a problem with it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, you know, during school days,
yeah, it worked a little bit harder to prove yourself and to be accepted.

(14:10):
And then for high school,
because my parents still wanted to go with the flow of that, you know,
high quality Catholic education.
I went to Leola High School.
Is that my red little maro?
Yeah.
It's part of the,
it's, it's, it's part of the same, uh, just with based, uh, Catholic education network.

(14:30):
Um, but Leola High School is an old boy's,
just with Catholic high school,
downtown LA, 15th Street and Venice.
And I couldn't afford to go there, but we found a way to go loans and they put me through.
And, um, there's where I started to actually form my first network of
ATI and Filipino American friends outside of my family.

(14:52):
So, um, those weren't the happy series of my life.
But I wouldn't train them for anything because that's when, um,
I met some of the most important people in my social circle and that's also when
where you learn a lot about the world.
You know, even if you're not taught a lot, you'll learn a lot just by looking
at how things are.
And I was a senior in high school with the LA rights, what dumb?

(15:12):
How is that?
And oh, yeah, my, uh, the Leola High School is located ground zero with the LA rights we're going on.
Here is how so, uh, yeah, it's just, um,
it's just the next town over from Korea town.
You had to drive through Korea town to get there.
So, locally, when the riots were going down, the classes were canceled.

(15:32):
No, and when I eventually, um, went back to class,
I remember driving down Western and all you could see is Embers,
you know, Burntown buildings, Burntown ash all around the area.
And the day of the riots, um, the security guards of my high school, so I'm told,
they literally had to bring out a case from their trunk.

(15:55):
It was legal to get a sole rifle's pecked in order to defend the campus.
Wow.
Yeah, it got that crazy where, um, we had to have guards with the AK47s guarding their campus.
Where were you at?
In this town, were you at home?
Were you in school?
I was at home, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was at home.
Did you ever spread this happening about two to one?
Yeah, I did.
Yes, it did.
When I heard that we were having it, well,

(16:18):
I remember the Rodney King verdict and the aftermath, like it was yesterday.
So stuff that we talked about now in the class, um, for me, it was like first hand memory.
That felt like yesterday to me.
Um, when I saw the night before, um, in South L.A. when, you know, the fire started,

(16:38):
I already knew that, you know, something was happening.
Then this was not just going to be, uh, you know, it was related, isn't it, uh,
but a burning getting built down.
I just somehow intrinsically instinctively knew that this is the fire that's going to spread.
And when I say fire, I'm not just talking about literal fire.
I'm talking about this rebellion as we know, you know, understand it.

(16:58):
Uh, so sure enough, um, that following one day, we get calls from, you know,
the school saying that class is canceled because of the riots and stuff.
So I thought, okay, I'll enjoy my day off and see what happens.
So I went to the mall.
I'm a mall, pick up a few things and I go back home and I swear about an hour later,

(17:20):
after I got back home, I turned on the TV,
looters are hidden the panorama.
And one of the swap meets, um, I forgot which one, uh, I think it was on Perthinear,
or Heavonhurst.
There, there's a number of swap meets that in the area.
It got burned down.
So there was like, you know, rebellion and violence, even in the eight-way date as well.

(17:44):
But that didn't get reported so much because the bulk of the media focus was on South L.A.
South Central and the Ronnie Convert it to, but, um, yet the impact spread.
And, um, I don't know what else remembers that, but I, you know, never forget it.
Yeah.
And so, does you want to see it sign our author out of school?

(18:05):
Yep.
It's the only place I'm excited to meet.
Same here.
All right.
Yeah.
That's the first letter except 10 is that I applied to UCLA, Berkeley, Riverside,
Stanislaus.
That was the first, cool, you know, um, my family lives that big, the living out here,
like Grandmas have always seen it when I went to church.
I always see it.
Yeah, but, so like, oh, okay.
First choice one line.
What did you decide to be a major?

(18:26):
It was your first choice as a major?
Was it always Asian American studies?
Asian American studies made it unique, right?
Oh, good Monday.
Yeah.
Well, it's going to be some interesting trivia for our Asian American studies people.
The official major was always in development
throughout the 90s, from 1990 up until 2000.

(18:48):
And our first round though Asian American studies graduates,
you were the class of 2017.
Our first round of official graduate to the matrix was in the year 2000.
Really?
Yeah.
So that was like, why did you change?
Yeah, I break my heart.
I really, I really, this journey doesn't tell.
Not that I, yeah, I mean, to nothing.

(19:11):
Um, and, uh, yeah, that was like,
uh, 1999 2000, that academic year was when we graduated our first official, um,
cohort of Asian American studies majors prior to then, uh, we had a minor,
but we didn't have major.
So I came in as a philosophy major.

(19:32):
That's cool.
Yeah.
Uh, and I only picked it because, you know, it sounded cool and I knew that Bruce Lee was a philosophy major.
Was it?
Yeah.
And um, what he was of the University of Michigan is a philosophy major.
And like, I thought, uh, I don't know, maybe I could do something with law or writing, you know,
I mean, I obviously wasn't going to be a surgeon.
So, right.
Well, my parents were around.
They would try to cook me.

(19:52):
Well, if you better language, why don't you try to be a lawyer?
You know, and they can make money get respected.
Um, but you know, it didn't work for me.
Uh, I didn't do so well in those philosophy climates.
I failed.
And, um, so before I talk about like, um, you know, my decisions to become an AS,
called my like, and stuff, um, Dr. King and Chan, who'll be met on former chair.

(20:16):
He found this loophole in the G.E. program where I could custom design my major,
according to special major.
So on my diploma, it says special major and concentration Asian,
American, historical studies.
That's what it says.
Although originally, when I wrote down, uh, my declaration of a special major, I wanted it to say, um,

(20:39):
I wanted to say, uh, Asian American studies and comparative ethnic history.
That's what I wanted to say, but that's too many letters.
So I'm just saying, we're going to say Asian American circle plays.
So with this custom design program, not only did I pretty much take every AES class they offered
at the time.
Mm-hmm.
I took a bunch of classes in Chicano studies, American Indian studies, women studies, and, uh,

(21:01):
um, mean, all other courses.
So I got to like, sample the buffet of all the different, uh,
pan-African studies as it would donate the time.
Now, known as Afro-Conna studies.
Mm-hmm.
So, um, yeah, that was my major.
I was a special major in ethnic studies for lack of a better word.
Um, how was the column ball back then?
I assume it was Santa Nena Valley State?

(21:22):
No, that was, um, yeah, with uh, San Fernando Valley College was renamed, uh,
Cal State Northridge.
I think around 1970.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, it's-
What was college life like that done?
Honestly, there's no technology as much, but like, how's the people out of their interactions?
Based on my memories, the only major difference is technology and the immediacy of information.

(21:47):
But in terms of the spirit of community and community learning,
and, um, the kind of community learning experiences that we try to moderate in Asian American studies,
that's always been there.
Okay.
Um, and, you know, I mean, even if like we had like an electromagnetic
blackout and all of our electronic devices failed, I will still find a way to, you know, to

(22:11):
put together events and have a good learning experience.
So like back then, we got hit by the earthquake.
Oh, yeah.
So the 94 Northridge earthquake and that destroyed everything.
What was classed in session or was it during the weekend?
Um, the president of the University of Time, uh, professor Blenda Wilson,

(22:32):
such a remarkable genius woman.
The earthquake happened during our winter break, okay, uh, 1994, January 94.
And, um, the semester started later, but only by two weeks.
Within those two weeks, a extra time, uh, under the leadership of Professor Wilson,
they're able to, um, set up fully functioning, uh, temporary Hudson,

(22:57):
Bunkle, else where we can have our classes.
And it was actually a very convenient semester for me because all my classes were in this
same corner, campus, a temporary buildings.
And, um, even though, uh, I don't ever remember us using electronic technology,
I will never forget, um, the learning community and, uh, the camaraderie we had in those Asian

(23:20):
American studies of classes.
Oh, man, you know, it just occurred to me.
The first class I ever took me to Professor Laura Google was in those Bungle Loads, really?
Yeah, the first job I ever got in education working with Professor Amatsu,
and he paid me out of his own pocket for 95.
It was in those Bungle Loads.
And all my Asian American studies classes, um,

(23:40):
with the exception of a few, were in those Bungle Loads, which didn't even have like,
you know, computer screens or anything.
And yet, the learning environment was so great.
So the spirit of the learning environment that we have is eternal.
I think that I'll never go out of style.

(24:01):
The only difference is the technology.
But technology is a tool.
It's not the soul.
Right.
Of what we do.
I gotta ask, how is Professor Laura a little bit back then?
Is it still the same with them?
I think so.
Yeah.
She's very challenging.
Yes, challenging.
How are we?
Yeah, very challenging.
Um, and, um,
I give credit where creditors do, I've always loved her.
You two more say such things.
I was here very, but yeah, I, I win a lot.

(24:23):
I mean, organization and responsibility and, uh,
green directions.
Everyone, really, all the other people,
who want to take AES and I call her at the back.
Who was the class that take it?
It's challenging, but it's worth it.
And the way she taught it,
I still in my head to the day.
Yes.
Yeah.
So as I understand, I believe for a time she was, uh,

(24:46):
I, she was counseling for a time.
She was a licensed counselor.
I might be wrong.
I don't know.
She, uh, do you think she's like,
"I'll make me do something like that?"
Well, that's certainly true.
Yes.
She's the, like, you know, leading a scholar.
I mean, API's in my poor health.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, her lecturing style.
And my sense is, as a psychologist,
she knows, she just, she knows how to convey

(25:09):
a meeting that will stick in our heads.
Yeah.
And boy, does she do that?
And, um,
she was always such a wonderful lecturer.
Yes.
Even though, um,
she was very strict.
Yes.
Which is simply part of her learning experience.
She wasn't being cruel.
She was, uh,
Right.
She was being a real educator.
With and personal.
Yeah, it was never personal.

(25:30):
Yeah.
Um,
but she was such a great communicator.
And, um, when I think about ideas that I use
with my own pedagogy and teaching,
I always like,
steal from the best.
So yeah, a lot of stuff I do in my classes.
And you've been through a whole bunch of my lectures.
A lot of that stuff is through invitation.
You know, like one at first started lecturing.

(25:51):
It's like, what is it that worked on me?
And I always like what Professor Gubit did.
Uh, I don't know if she still does this,
but what she would do when I was her student was,
she would write on the board,
like the basic words, their concepts
that she was going to talk about.
Um,
and I see a lot of professors on YouTube do that.
Now, you know, they put like an outline in the course screen
that outlines that stuff they're going to talk about

(26:12):
in their podcast.
That's where she was doing.
Wow, they're kind of like a head of her time, you know?
Yeah.
And it made everything easy to follow.
But you have to pay attention.
Yeah.
You know, even if she practiced a joke,
you had to make a note of that.
You know, um,
but I learned so much through that system of hers
and through her, uh,
sheer charisma, uh, in her pedagogy

(26:34):
that, uh, when I came back after grad school
and I first ran into her,
the first thing I said was,
you're the reason I got to grad school.
Thank you.
Uh, yeah.
She's the amazing teacher.
I, I remember her.
She's being one of the original teachers from back
didn't secure that.
Morgan.
She's a legend.
We owe her so much.
So what means you want to teach Asian American studies?

(26:57):
So let's say we,
what are you in a grad school?
I didn't see that.
Uh, you say like how is it?
Um, two years, completely different environment.
Yeah.
Um, cause over here, um,
it's easy to find, you know, professors
and your mentors were easy to find.
Ross located at the central office.
And over here,
just as it was back then,

(27:18):
um, the professors here
for our Asian American studies department
are very approachable,
very personable and very warm.
And, um, that's always been one of my main motivations
to be always chilling late back
and just be my sheer self.
You know, we always want to let students know
that we're a part of this committee.

(27:38):
We're not separated.
So you need a doctor.
Let's go talk to us.
You know, let's be family.
Um, UCL did have a sense of community,
but um, because they didn't have an Asian American
studies department at the time they only had a program,
faculty were spread out in different ways.
Mm.
And the environment there was very different as well
because while CSUN is very warm and very community-based,

(27:59):
um, students at UCL,
at least at that time,
there were a lot more personal and,
um, kind of cold and very competitive.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I can imagine.
Just trying to get into UCL.
Yeah.
And that mindset, yeah.
Yeah, it was, um, it,
it took some adjustments, uh,
to get used to the UCLA.

(28:19):
I hope it's very cold.
They're a very proud of it.
It went there and it meant some of my greatest friends
and mentors ever.
Mm.
But I can't say it was a pleasant experience,
a lot of the time.
Uh, there was a lot of, you know, tension,
uh, in that very hyper competitive kind of environment.
Okay.
So, let's say you finished,

(28:40):
uh, UCLA grad school.
What means you want to come back here
and education Americans studying and teach?
Well, uh, you need to want to make a thing.
Um,
well, I got to run through a kind of outline of,
uh, the, when did I realize I wanted to do this day?
I definitely wanted to be a professor.
Uh, so I got to do a little narrative type line here

(29:02):
to help explain things.
Um, okay.
So I got accepted here because I wasn't accepted at URL.
Right.
So for like the first semester, uh,
quintessential generation,
ex-boy, I don't give a shit about anything.
Why am I here?
Why am I even going to class?
What's the purpose of anything?
Mm-hmm.
You know, I was just existing and walking like,
out half asleep through my classes

(29:24):
because I had no idea why I was here.
Well, my purpose was,
but my first semester here,
I got to give a special shout out
and I managed to find this brilliant scholar
and reconnect with her.
The Nutzka Veliyama, professor Veliyama,
was my very first college professor.
She's benade and she was the first

(29:44):
poet prof that I met.
You know, I go by that hashtag,
"Ely's poet prof like."
That's not just me.
I wanted many poet profs that had,
you know, influenced my poet prof like.
So she was like my first poet prof.
Uh, and I took, um,
at the time, it was English-1 55-Winter composition class, you know.
So she's the first benade professor I ever met.
And she was the first one to, um,

(30:07):
really influence me and mentor me in a positive way.
And seeing one of my old people in her position,
that was my first realization.
That wow, you know,
make me, we do have a place here.
But that's not when I started getting into the Asian American Studies thing.
That was just like that first,
like, hint of starlight that there's something beyond this world of yours.
Um,
soon after that,

(30:28):
I met Philip Barakruz,
of the Asian American Studies Department,
brought him here.
So my first Asian American Studies event
was the way the department brought Philip Barakruz,
the former vice president of the U of W to speech here.
That was my other like spark of awakening.
And then, uh, that summer,
uh,
'93 after my first school year,

(30:49):
I met like,
Guia Eric Amalinda.
He's the first published poet that I met.
One of the most brilliant, um, writers I'll ever know.
He won awards.
And he was also my cousin.
Really?
I was like, yeah, yeah, he's my Guia Eric.
We're first cousins.
And he stayed for me at a time.
He had panoramic theory,
reporting me to New York where he's like a legend now.
Um,
but yeah, just the litigame,

(31:10):
it's like, oh my god, you know,
there are these poets who are Filipino,
or Filipino American who can represent,
who can,
it's like as a young Jedi,
I learned what the force is for the first time.
Yeah.
You know, for me, the force is language.
Right.
You know,
because in the Star Wars movies,
like the force is all about like imposing your,
your will upon reality and stuff like that.

(31:31):
For me, language is a force.
You know, if you can master language
and learn how to communicate and control language,
you can make amazing things happen.
You know, all this figure,
to be speaking.
So a professor,
William Martin,
and my cousin, Eric,
were my introduction to that.
Just the very possibility
that a kid who looks like you
can actually do something with this language thing.

(31:52):
And meeting fellow Bear Cruz,
that was the next step.
Finally,
I give in and say,
I want more.
I took my first Asian American Studies class with Dr. Kenyne Chan.
That first-aid class,
that's when I knew what I wanted to do in my life.
Well, yeah.
He was up there lecturing,
and he was talking to us like,
he knew us.
He talked to us like we were friends.

(32:12):
He made you feel welcome.
And he was talking about stuff relevant to me
and relevant to society as a whole.
And I just knew intrinsically inside of our,
that's what I want to do.
So, um,
that moment,
that kid that I was,
age 19,
looking at Dr. Chan,
that is where my heart is anchored.

(32:33):
Whenever I need to check myself,
I think back to that moment to the kid I was in that moment, Dr. Chan.
And I'm like,
are you fulfilling that kid's dream?
No.
No.
No.
No.
You know?
Yes, man.
So, um,
there's a lot of,
okay.
So, uh,
where does that misconception is about ethnic studies

(32:53):
and how would you repile of them?
I mean, anyone's yeah, I have to go there.
And I'll tell Hostel Planet right now,
but like, ethnicity and politics.
Absolutely.
And a lot of them,
they counter the kind of like,
shining,
excited, shining now.
Yeah.
And he can talk about those.
There's always been misprescription or prejudice
that to be part of an ethnic studies classroom community,

(33:17):
um, you know,
you got to have this kind of
passively, aggressively,
separatist mentality.
It has never been that way.
And on the first day of every semester that I moderate,
that's the first thing
I tell students this class is not about separatism.
This class is not about being a member of a particular ethnic
in group.
This is a GE class that's open up to the world.

(33:39):
We're all going to be in the safe age at all times.
Everyone is a part of this.
And, um, you know, the truth is,
the purpose of these classes,
popular to this,
this recession that they're separatist
in fanning the flames racism.
No,
the purpose of this class is ecumenical.
It's strictly about bringing people together.
You know,
people who are only different superficially,

(34:01):
by getting us to tap into our deeper common soul.
It's about alleviating segregation.
And ethnic studies, I think,
is it's about the oneness of civilization itself.
It's not about separateness.
Right.
And, um, I think it's our duty to establish
that tone the first day of class.
Like, even now, like,
my first week of class,

(34:22):
I could feel some little distance looking at me with like,
wide-eyed steer apprehension as they came into the room.
You know, because obviously they have this pre-package
perception of what people will dress and talk like me do.
Right.
You know, so it was,
it's always good to challenge that perception on the first day,
by connecting with them the way that Dr. Chanda

(34:44):
back when I was just doing it.
By the way, you're one of the best of bachelor's.
Oh, I'm glad you're welcome.
You know,
you're in England.
Oh, man.
Thank God.
Thank God.
So, I don't know the third out there.
You can get segue.
But, um,
yeah, it's like, I definitely agree.
I think it does bring people together and I like being someone where.
So, yeah, thank you.

(35:05):
That does a good thing.
You're an expert, you know?
Um,
all right.
So, not only are you a professor,
earlier you said, you're co-ed.
How did you get into poetry?
Um,
well, you know, the fascination and language I think is the root of where poetry starts.
Um, I think
everyone who uses words in a creative way isn't transically poetic.

(35:27):
Songwriting is poetic.
You know this.
Even before you start laying down tracks or getting up the mic,
you know, the first thing you do is, you know, you, you architect your words
to make sure that they're right.
And even before you recite them, you know, you gotta,
you gotta make sure that the words are crafted right.
And then, um, you know, the, uh,
the next level will come later.

(35:48):
Um,
so, songwriting is a boy who's been poetic and I've always been a lover of music.
The poetry of music and lyricism.
So, um, the first correct words that I remember hearing were like my dad's,
Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel records.
And, um, you know, the first thing you notice about a song is typically you get hit by the
beat and you hit, hit by the melody and the realm.
But it's a whole other level where you start paying attention to the words, right?

(36:12):
You know, it's like, um, words that are sung are much more powerful than words that are spoken.
And poetry is a form of creating music without music.
Mm-hmm.
So we're getting into hip-hop culture.
Hell yeah.
That's the one I first realized that the force is real.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
So I first learned how to use the force when I met Nguetska,

(36:33):
my koea Eric, you know, they showed me all that whole thing with language.
Yeah, you can do that.
Look what we can do with poetry, right?
Uh, but when I first
truly learned that the force is real when I first heard, um,
the beat street breakdown by melling mel in the various rife and the beat street, um,
the movie soundtrack.
It's like when I was a little kid, be going and bring dancing with the thing.

(36:55):
And this idea of connecting rimes and so-called commentary just blew my mind
more than any English class ever did.
So I always took the lyricism of hip-hop culture to heart.
And I was always very good at creating writing.
I mean, I didn't write rhymes in my creative writing classes,
but that spirit of using words and rimes in language to create pictures to get

(37:18):
at people's guts.
That's why they're in a rough.
Also, too, I got a comment on how well you do with the speeches on the A-S,
oh, we- oh, it was the world.
The seven?
Yeah.
And also the commencement speech.
Man, those are really good.
That's great.
I tried and I tried in the graduation

(37:39):
at the commencement because I've got sensitive things that people talked about with the
realness, but you're a really good word.
I can't help but tell you the lyrics.
Yeah, I was like, it was so good.
I was like, damn it.
You're saying, yeah, I was like, I forget everything you said, but it was really good.
It was well done.
So, proffsidae and things, why are you always the one to kind of commence these?

(38:00):
Oh, you said like, commencement is not the end.
And since we're getting-
Yeah, commencement really began.
And so, yeah, so I had to cut you off back and say,
oh, no, no, that's so exciting.
Oh, so back to it.
Um, hip-hop, you and I connect stuff with languages,
all that.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, I got to stay on that note.
Say that this is what happened on the graduation ceremony day.
Um, we didn't have an official program planned out.

(38:23):
So, we were kind of-
I mean, what?
Well, really a wonderful ceremony.
I didn't have like-
I think it's better than now.
Orange Room.
Because it's not so far away.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The location was good.
Um, we were in the accommodator of you.
I loved your ceremony 2017.
And 2018 was, um, it was different, but it was just as magical.
But we didn't have like a strict program.

(38:44):
It was meant to be chilly.
Leave back.
So, to get to my point, um, it was it is my friend Dr. Chen
who said, you know, can you see a few words of the graduate
to give a shout out to Janice and say, no, blah, blah.
So I'm like, okay.
So I'm like typing up scratch notes on my iPad here
in like literally five minutes.
And in a way, here's where I got that injection of my hip-hop mentality.

(39:06):
I am a kind of different kind of freestyle of C.
I cannot do what you do with the freestyle of C.
I'm not even going to try.
I'm too scared to even try it.
But what it comes to improv on the spot with language off the free.
I literally was a freestyle and seen.
I was, I was, I'm seeing an event.
I was, I know it's going off the cobstains.
And afterward, I don't remember a single word I said.

(39:29):
But that's kind of the hip-hop mentality.
And you're like, yeah, you're on a site for freestyle.
Like, right?
You might not even remember what rhymes you draw.
No, people tell me what I said.
Right?
Yeah, exactly.
See?
Yeah, we still.
I don't know.
I am this.
Yeah.
I'm like, I thought you had that.
Land out because it was well in my bones.
Right?
And I think they captured the audience.
You can tell.

(39:49):
I think I'm going to have to have my hair corner.
I found it.
It was hard.
It was really good.
And I also do it in the, uh, in the, um,
a worst ceremony.
You also did a good job.
Something about like you're saying like, you know,
I'm pretty out of you said.
Like, do you want to get pushed really good?
You said that.
I'm the only one that's like,
well, but it was really good.

(40:11):
Um, hip hop.
You were learning about that.
Poetic, Poetic Pee.
Yeah.
Um, so I'm good.
Right.
Right.
I mean, yeah.
Um, I didn't know much about three styling back then.
Um, because like in the West Coast,
hip hop culture, the other elements we were hardcore
into break dancing, DJ, especially DJ and, um,
end graffiti art.
Not so much rappers, you know, we didn't have a whole lot of

(40:32):
role model rappers, but we were the coast in the early days.
You know, it was all in New York, which is all good.
You know, eventually we would have these like icons,
like Egyptian lover and iced tea and later on in the VW whatever,
but you know, we didn't have any West Coast like rappers or whatever.
So, um, we were very much into the other elements of hip hop.
Uh, but when I first heard like, um, you know,

(40:52):
rappers, yeah, I would start writing rhymes.
You can.
And, uh, I would write rhymes in mouse 13.
I had a notebook and everything.
And I didn't know what they think about, you know,
trapping it down to 16 bars.
I would just go off and get them rides.
And occasionally I would rag a party.
But they are not, uh, my friend Norman,
who might be listening to the, this one, Kevin at some point.
I'm sure you remember your 18th birthday, man.

(41:13):
I was on the mic the whole night.
And I'm like, reciting from a notebook.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, well, what it came to poetry.
All right.
Specifically, poetry of the page that is not meant to be rhymed
to a beat or anything.
Portrait of the pages, my jam.
I first inspiration was Jim Morrison, the doors.
Because I was a huge fan of their music.

(41:34):
And what I, what always blew me away by Jim Morrison was,
he was always this drunken clown before me,
getting high, getting wasted and like stumbling on stage.
But their music was so great.
And so original.
I think the doors is one of the greatest bells in history.
And he always had dignity.
You know, we always had dignity, even if he was just this portrait of raw pain.

(41:55):
So I started writing and mimicking his lyrics for the page,
writing lyrics, trying to sound like Jim Morrison.
And they threw key tolls.
I wrote poems and high school to impress my girlfriend at the time.
I do it.
As does Ray.
And you worked.
The music.
Yeah.
Uh, uh, uh, our relationship didn't totally work out.

(42:17):
That scene was planted.
You know, um, there is a power here to connect with other people.
Right.
And when I wrote poetry, I was like 100% less lonely and 100% more empowered.
So when I was 17, I started writing poetry, uh,
initially influenced by Jill Llorston and

(42:38):
everything since then.
It's just been looking back.
That train has not stopped moving.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
Um, all right.
Let's go back to CSI.
I remember you were saying on your class,
it's how people regard CSI as like, uh, uh, it's okay.
It's not a you see or it's not a you read.
What did this say about that?

(42:58):
Because to me, I'm so glad CSI accepted me.
Yeah.
I've found a community here.
Um, what do you say?
Don't people say, oh, it's like, you know, it's all right.
You know, it's just like, you're seeing or what?
You see LA.
You know, it doesn't occur to me right here right now.
It just occurs to me that I think
misperceptions of Cal State Northridge are very, uh, parallel

(43:23):
to popular misperceptions about Bocentralis.
You know, because a lot of people outside of LA have a lot of dismissals
stuff to say about us to LA.
Yeah, it's mongi.
I'm just all, yeah, it's all Hollywood.
It's all sprawled and spread.
Oh, it takes an hour to get anywhere.
And everyone's all snobby and rich.
That's the, that's, that's the prejudice that people have.
But when you come to LA and you give it a chance

(43:47):
and you explore and you find all of the beautiful things,
you realize just how amazing and how one of the kind
the city gets.
The thing is you have to do the work.
Right.
You know, you can't just walk in blind.
You have to make the F to seek out and find all the
lights and treasures here.
See something away is kind of parallel.

(44:07):
Because people have this dismissive point of view that
always a second rate commuter school or whatever.
But once you're here and you really start paying attention
to what this commuter has to offer, oh boy, um,
I can't think of a single CSUN graduate who
worked with Reds going here.
Every season alone, I know it's proud as hell
that they want to hear.
Yeah.
You know, I remember that.

(44:28):
I sent you a meme.
It's called the judgment.
So I'm thinking of that.
I don't know.
Yeah, great.
And he's nine.
I was like, oh college for C students.
Right.
Great.
Yeah.
That was pretty funny.
But yeah, no, I totally agree.
And you know, if you use a resources here,
yeah, a lot of great new sources and
are the type of especially at me.
You know, it can be called the Primate Jesse Great School.
It is a great school to, well, none for business,

(44:50):
well, none for CTV kind of thing.
So, so yeah, you know, um,
I love the school.
I was straight to should point that out that the community here is
really strong where you said maybe in other schools that they
not be maybe just be kind of the based on, you know,
how well you do school and the CTVA
reputation while here is the community.
Um, what I liked about your class is where it opened me

(45:13):
up to Asian American community.
It's because before that, I mean, you know,
the first Asian I saw in the movies was probably
that up from, uh, what is it?
You were in the, and I'll eat, I just remind you of the
part. Yeah. The same guy from the young child.
Yeah, but the same exact character.
Yeah. Also, that too was, um, on Rufio from

(45:34):
what I was like, I was the camp of Philippines on
about seven years.
That's probably, he looks like me.
Like that was kind of cool.
Um, what can you tell us about Asian Americans and
media and his underrepresentation on possibly how it's
being more famous?
You're up to that. Well, I'll give a shout out to, um,
uh, the director of the day,

(45:55):
who, uh, Jeanne, the high on, um,
and I've been left with you in the day, but it's first of
a great boss girl. Yeah.
Yeah. Um, uh, I will never forget.
This was one of my other great wake up calls.
Jeanne, Kinto, a foster meeting,
Filipino American student association at CSA.
And he was promoting a project he was working on
entitled the Mercado Family Day Guil.

(46:17):
And it originally was a short film, which later evolved
into the feature length film that had you starting
starring, um, rather um, Dante Bosco and, um,
you joy, Biscoe was another CSA, the mom, uh,
and foster among full-strendlemind.
Um, yeah, but, uh, he first, oh man,
Jeanne started off his sales pitch by showing us this video

(46:40):
among tires of the most part of my language,
like fuck, fuck, fuck, stereo, times, and Asians,
you see in popular films.
So we should write a clip of Bruce Lee,
short clip of Long Dog,
Don, uh, Spurl.
Yeah, Marvel, and all this stuff.
And me being, I was such a, uh, such a dick.
I was like laughing and cheering on.
And I actually liked those movies, what I was growing out.
And Jeanne was pissed after he's shot at the tape.

(47:03):
He's like, this is the problem.
We kind of do something about this because this is
all we ever see if people are representing us.
You know, these characters are learning Filipino,
but we're not in Mahmouda.
And that was like, you know, the,
the cold shower that I needed.
It's like this dehumanizing stereotype bullshit
was so normal to me for so long.
And I need to be realized that, you know,

(47:23):
I wasn't even visible in the Isingbait
stream culture.
And I realized, you know, James Wright.
So immediately I started writing poems and
titled, you know, the us and their eyes and
shit like that talking to my stereotypes.
And that was my wake up call.
Right.
So ever since then, you know,
every piece of taught me that I
swim that's the first thing I look at.

(47:44):
How's the representation going to hang out?
Right.
I remember this one thing.
It's that occasion.
I mean, you allow like Bruce's life.
You're just kind of cannibalized by Hollywood.
Totally.
In the top corner.
You're in the top corner.
Everybody knows who he is.
Yeah.
You died even before I was born.
When you think of him, the first thing you think of
is the guy with, you know, the ripped,

(48:05):
the shredded body, the jinkundo pose,
or holding that in the chakras.
Those are just the images that, you know,
he conveyed through action movies and action scenes.
The philosophy and the core of the mega was so much deeper.
He's so misunderstood.
And his mission in life was to share his
knowledge, his philosophy,

(48:28):
called jinkundo, the idea of taking the best of what's around you
and forming their own identity,
your form method of living your everyday life,
which I think is what Asian Revenue Studies is all about.
Yeah.
The Asian American Studies is very jinkundo.
It's all about taking from different elements,
social science, humanities, art,
and fusing a worldview that serves us best.
You know, that's the mostly philosophy,

(48:48):
not that they're directly related,
but that's all overlooked.
And I see it again and again and again.
The meaning behind the man is ignored
where he's nothing but a stereotype now.
It's just a chop-socky guy.
I think the same thing happened to Bob Marley.
The same thing happened to pop,
you know, to pop diet.

(49:09):
The same thing happened.
You know, people think of him.
They think of like,
"Thug Life Criminal Retard Bob Marley."
They don't realize.
The president, he's big music.
Hell yeah.
He knows you, I think,
we ought to music it to revolution.
It was like,
oh, the Bay thing now's both.
Such the concept.
Yes.
But they read people just say,
"Oh, they try to like something."
So we think, "Yeah."

(49:30):
Oh, like, well, he,
played his attempts to make this sound,
but he realizes different layers to a person.
Yeah.
And moves.
What I want to touch on,
he just said that like,
"Tae, from one thing,
and doing this and that."
So you talked to us about
like culture,
appropriation versus culture,
priest,
I know it's a big tie.

(49:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, like, what you're about to then?
Well,
it's important when I contemplate that issue,
I first check myself,
and I think about myself,
and how have I possibly
misperceived or appropriated culture?
Good ones, you know, if I can,
if I can't,

(50:12):
I am not my own ignorance,
what the hell am I doing,
even talking?
Right.
And for me,
if I am going to talk about
or even appropriate elements of the culture
of my own, for me,
it's important that I know the source,
and I study the source and understand the meaning.

(50:32):
So hip-hop culture, for instance,
even though
it's almost unanimously regarded as
a social movement in a culture
invented in the Vogue Down Broad,
and so forth,
I am deeply aware of the knowledge
and the elements behind it.
And I'm very mindful of how I choose to do it myself.
So, speaking of my fashion choices,

(50:53):
you know, I mean, I dress old-school lean boy.
This is how I've always wanted to dress
ever since I was a kid.
I wanted to dress like my ear,
but growing up, I couldn't afford to buy my own,
like, you know, a deed is out.
So, as part of what I do as an adult,
you know, I tap into my childhood wonder,
reclaim my, how I wanted to represent myself on that kind of time.

(51:14):
But I am very mindful of the roots and the meaning.
And I keep it open here,
if anyone's going to call me out of questioning me,
I will not be defensive about what,
yeah.
I think the burden is on everyone else.
People are even think of visibly
using an element of culture other than your own.

(51:35):
You got to understand it.
You got to respect it.
Don't just grab it blindly,
like any fashion accessory.
Yeah, I think one story for me was,
in 2014, I just heard the hair,
it was like,
like, we were getting like,
long hands back.
I saw people getting like,
"Brains."
Oh, I should try that.
I tried it.
And I was like,
"I don't know, I tell it easy,

(51:57):
but I tell it to some friends."
And it was cool, like, you know,
but that's clearly understanding
because I realized it's not my culture.
I don't wear an Oscar,
but it looked cool,
but I was like,
"That's not really me."
Then with me is a,
like a Filipino American in hip-hop culture as a rapper.
I understand that hip-hop is

(52:18):
started with African American Martinon.
You know,
and I see myself,
"Okay, I'm coming into this space
as my Narnio-Shant Fine Wave."
I kind of accept that I won't get rid of you sometimes,
because I'm not Black.
I'm not Latino,
but that's okay.
That's part of it.
I think if something is,
I've learned also
with the help of Asian American Studies,

(52:39):
like, "I come into space,"
it's just like, "It's this thing about what's his name?"
Or Jamar said,
like,
"You made some very controversial statement about like,
like, hip-hop is like,
like Black people made this house,
you're a guest,
as a guest used to respect it."
And I took that to heart.
A lot of people disagreed with it,
but I'd yell at you from so,
walking into this,
it's like, "Hey,

(52:59):
like, you know,
I don't see the end of my check.
I don't do like,
I don't glorify serious James Clubs,
that's prestigious,
like, you know, the Black culture,
or like the negative stuff, you know?
Like, I keep that in mind
when I make these,
I can heart resent myself
and in the culture that I'm used to,
and so forth,
I see nothing but respect,
because, you know,
there's how I'm not,
and you kind of know your place,

(53:20):
and I'm like, "Cool, yeah."
Definitely, like, I know,
there's certain lines that I don't cross,
you know?
And I think how I can dub myself.
Also, it's the way Asian American Studies
is learned about like,
privilege,
you want not,
bail privilege,
straight bail privilege,
you learn about that stuff,
and I, to the music,
and to hip-hop.
So, thank you,
Professor, teaching me this stuff,

(53:40):
but just a little tanned out to go on.
Well, you know, I gotta thank you for doing the right,
doing the right,
just I have never objected once to any of the stuff you've done,
and you know, I get attention.
Well, when I hear that,
you've kind of been working on something?
Yeah, I wanna,
yeah, now I wanna see what's up,
the one thing I didn't like,
I have always been proud of your work,
and the work of our friend,
the colleagues,
particularly music artists,
because you are righteous,
and you do it,

(54:00):
you do it right.
Well, I think it's amazing,
about respecting the source,
respecting the history is,
and I'm gonna speak as an Asian Americanist now.
Asian Americanist now.
Oh, we were always part of this culture, man.
You know, we were never,
our science, you know, maybe we were invisible,
but we were always down.
Jo Bata Khan was down back in the day,
and here on the West Coast,
even before the West Coast Revolution began,

(54:23):
who were the baddest B-boys and B-girls?
Who were the baddest,
you know, about DJs?
It was, it was us, man.
Right.
And you know, you were in the sky,
Yeah. The man will walk the braperist. Oh, for general. I mean, I mean, I mean, it goes back to the stereotypes of Asian American males
to the stereotypes. The hip hop is hip hop rapist, perceived as usually hyper masculine and aggressive.

(54:46):
Whereas, Asian, just can't, but also in antefabinant. So I'm in an Asian person cost of that space.
They're checked. There's no who is this? You know, I remember early 2000s, Jim, yeah Chinese American rapist on BT free stock fighting.
Seven, just to start with the one. I was like, oh my god, that's big. That's not me, but I see myself that a lot of fake rough ice.

(55:11):
She and the gun down there. You know, that's why God is we start. Well, here is it is an ancient American downing.
I mean, I don't mean I like his record. That was so still like what a Chinese kind of like a little like yellow.
Yeah, yeah, but it was at the time and I got what he did, but a little Chinese. It was cool back there about now.

(55:32):
So he learned Chinese. He changed a lot. Oh, yeah, he's definitely. Yeah, he's definitely changed. I mean, he grew up at the time.
You know, I'm sure, but his freestyle is amazing. He's a very everybody. So back representation seeing that. Yeah, so you say, yeah, definitely DJ's were knows.
DJ Chuber, the deep boxers and the DJ, like the break dancers are a full of piano Asian rag and Tiger. Yeah, definitely.

(55:59):
Yeah. Okay. So if you've been in talking to the audience, if you've been his class, you can see like his profound love for Batman.
He like that man.
Maybe think what about Batman Bruce Wayne? Do you find so pure and relatable compared to the other heroes Batman is a lifelong coping mechanism for me.

(56:22):
I carry a lot of baggage with me when it comes to, you know, trauma and stuff. My story is not exceptional, but it nonetheless is mine.
And, you know, I dealt with death and loss early on, you know, losing my parents and bouncing from home to home and always being marginalized on multiple levels as a Filipino American.

(56:44):
It was always the biggest guy in the room and was always a sofa lab cast. Yeah, Batman was like a kind of a talisman to help me cope with my trauma.
As I mentioned earlier, my first hot culture heroes were Luke Skywalker Superman and Batman. Batman became my hero because Luke and Superman had mystical powers and, you know, they were, you know, obviously fictional people of Batman's fictional too.

(57:11):
But the fact that he's human and he's mortal for me, if I, you know, do a kind of thematic breakdown of why Batman is a personal talisman.
He's a living embodiment of the themes of trauma, guilt and madness and those have been themes in my own way, trauma, guilt and, you know, little bit of madness, a little bit of psychological and spiritual trauma.

(57:35):
Batman never got a chance to grow up, let a normal kid.
No, I'm one other than I mean a lot of other kids I grew up with siblings, they grew up with parents, they grew up with, you know, family trips to Toml and all that kind of stuff. I never grew up with any of that.
And now it's always an outsider, you know, just coping with whatever hardship was going on in the world at the time and I was always regarded as kind of a distant.

(57:59):
You're a cool guy. We like you, but, you know, we don't want to get too close to a guy like you. I'm not a baggage or whatever.
So Batman essentially is a hurt kid in the body of a middle aged Batman who dresses like an animal.
And yet he walks this finite between good and evil. He always does the righteous thing. He looked whole doing it.

(58:20):
Yes.
And he's a man of principle. I will not kill. I will not want in the heart.
I don't care what happens to me as long as I can set things right.
I don't know if he ever will set things right. Because if he set things right, there will be no need for a Batman story.
I should. My life is kind of the same way. And when it comes to the trouble and what's wrong in this world, that's not going away anytime soon.

(58:41):
Right. So I don't know how much longer I got in this planet. But if I die in the saddle, then what I do is going to be like Batman style.
I'm going to I'm going to go out with my, you know, with the armor on.
Yeah. So Batman, Batman turns with comic. Some saying DCs want to more powerful characters.

(59:02):
I can't say how, how does he, but it's intelligent. Yes. And there's prep time.
Yeah. He was able to take out Superman.
I click on now. It's a mask. It's a man.
It's a smart. I mean, he has obviously financial resources. But a lot of people, a lot of people who like Batman,
or you will just not tag him and do what I'm going to want. So which is makes sense, which is very true.

(59:25):
Interesting. I mean, he's like the one he's just the one person with no mystical powers, no robotic enhancements, not an area.
He's not about Greenland. You know, it's crazy. The yellow, the yellow lamp does it. Yeah.
Was it the yellow ring or the semester?
Yeah, semester. They try to recruit Bruce Wayne. Yeah.

(59:49):
But he had a bunch of world power as a ubiquit recruited to the semester core. Everything was fear.
He does those things. Everything. Yeah. Yeah. He has those fears.
It makes sense. But I guess what stopped it was because I guess he don't.
Was how Jordan's ring the flame. You want to try this out?
Yeah. So strong.

(01:00:09):
If it was to make a costume, even they possibly was family.
And that was and that was how the thing to fear that's how it be on him to reject it and that he had a bunch of world power.
Yeah. Yeah. So that was interesting. But I don't know what the I think with a yellow letter on that shirt.
You need a I don't know if it forces to sell the one you like to read the red light shirt ring.

(01:00:30):
He ended up going his own way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that was a really super side tangent.
Well, actually one quick thing and another thing about Batman, which I think I consciously or unconsciously embraced is
Batman is the real guy Bruce Wayne's the costume. That's true.
Yeah. Batman is the real person. And when he represents him the real self as Batman,

(01:00:53):
he always ours himself in a image of medicine terror and throughout things that people are scared of.
He looks like a devil. He doesn't look like a bat.
In a way, I can't do the same thing. And I don't dress like how a normal professional
professor should dress. Yeah. I address how I always wanted to dress. In fact, you know,

(01:01:14):
and frankly, this is not a damage that a lot of people are comfortable with. It's cool. And they will.
Yeah. If people didn't know what I did for a living, they never would have get, oh,
college humanities professor. And I can feel the chill in the room where I'm inserting like,
neighborhood's like it's hurting out around a lot of white people and stuff.
People will keep their distance and not make eye contact with you. But despite that, you mean,

(01:01:38):
I want to do a straight. That's another side of the whole Batman thing. Yeah.
It's my armor, but it's also me. Right. Right.
In your class, he talked about being in Angelina. He talked to a small doctor. What is Angelina?
I think the city and our community of Angelina, it's a perfect model for how diversity and

(01:02:02):
wealth, our culturalism can actually do really good things. Good scares people. You know, people
are scared of great change. And the fact that we are becoming increasingly more diverse is making
people living in their bubbles incredibly scared to the point of reacting with violence.
But at our best, speaking as a Los Angelina community, I think we are the definitive model of how

(01:02:29):
righteous world can be. In fact, that we are a diverse and speak different languages and our
intersectionalities are more layered than a kaleidoscope. When we are at our best, we are a model of
how the rest of the world can be. And that's how I feel. And even though, like I said earlier,
even though the city is very sprawled and very big, if you take the effort to, and he initiative

(01:02:53):
to explore and find what delights you, you won't regret it. Even though the city is still big and sprawled,
it's impossible to explore all it has to offer in the course of a lifetime. Even if you don't get
a chance to travel the world and visit multiple countries and different cultures, Los Angelina,

(01:03:14):
I think is a good place to get an idea of how the world is. Yeah, it has a little tight, a little
pokyo, little Armenia, itown, some of the Enrique Quicholpino's story town. Yeah. What comes into mind when
you hear or think about the word community? Because in Greek class, Professor Matsus class, Moro's,

(01:03:35):
also all the other classes, but both of you really are still that helping out. Not very certain,
like passing the batons to the next generation, opening the door. I think as part of the reason is
why this part here is just because like, hey, to my knowledge, I don't think there's a podcast out there
that does what I do in this area. I mean, there's like radio show to do it. To me, I was like, hey,

(01:03:59):
I want to give back. In my, going to your classes, mainly your classes, there's so we, I discovered that
a lot of the people around me are asking sort of creative outlet, routing, culture, you know,
a little bit, all that stuff, you know, it was like, it was cool. I mean, honestly, I mean, I met Gio

(01:04:20):
in, um, Professor Lys for 97 months. But it is already around there, but with your class,
so we can do it. Yeah, we can actually do it. It's okay. It's okay. I mean, it's still,
do you play our music videos during the first day of the class? That's so cool. I get text messages.
Oh, from people who are young here, VSA, oh, dude, I saw you on freshers. Like, freshers,

(01:04:45):
like, you're fucking famous, made them like, no, no, not that. But like, it just shows the meaning
supporting one or nothing. Exactly. You know, still, you know, like we made that music video for you.
I would never realize me. You know, yeah, we got your biology. Yeah, yes, you did. Yeah,
I'm going to clean it up. So for those who don't know, uh, where is, uh, what's, uh,

(01:05:06):
325, 25, the Cree workshop, Cree Lean, Jackie, Jill, Mark and I, we worked on a music video in a
solid Bryant challenge, directed it. You know, Sean, okay. And then, uh, you know, we were presenting,
like, final presentations that day. Yeah. What's that room? We're like, yeah, what's it?

(01:05:27):
To me, always down. Yeah, I was really good. It was dedicated. And then, um, I think there's
a last time I watched that video, but I can't take it. I don't know. I don't know. I just do want to graduate.
You can't find a lot of things in it. They made music videos about me. I was there. You know, yeah, yeah.
I didn't want to explain. I heard that, you know, but, uh, yeah, that was settled. Yeah. Um, so there's a lot of

(01:05:50):
community. Um, I think like, within your, uh, was it the media? I don't know. It was last time,
the spring, the open, was it? Was that, was that class to have, um, it was that one with like,
you had a bunch of guests come on. It was spring, not fall. It was spring. Uh, it was, it was a new one.
It was, it was, yeah, the three 25, yeah, 25 December. Every 25 December. It turned out,

(01:06:14):
everyone had like, um, did create up outlet and yeah, but we were more quiet. We came more open.
And we like, got, became close to the poetry and stuff and shared. That was the most joyful,
stressory, uh, class moderation experience I mean, I never had, uh, if every class could be like that,
I didn't have them. Yeah. It was too perfect. Cause all I had to come up with was just ideas and

(01:06:40):
a framework. And I knew that if I put the toys in your hands, you got to do amazing stuff.
That is exactly what you did. And I think I learned more in that classroom. You guys, the
most classes I took as a student. Yeah. Now that to me is a positive learning environment. So,
to get to the question then, a community, uh, when it comes to my mind, I think the fundamental

(01:07:02):
elements are safety and accepted. Community is different layers. There's, um, you know, your
sense of community with humanity at large. There's your sense of for your community with your friends.
There's a sense of community with your relatives or family, uh, whatever realm of community,
which you're connected. It's all about safety and acceptance. Where you can be yourself and

(01:07:23):
complete safety, knowing that you will be accepted and embraced. Mm-hmm. That you have nothing to lose,
but your whole world and the meaning of your life is there. I think community is the
fine bug we share your life with you. We care about most. And for a lot of us, we care about
humanity at large the most. So, you know, um, but whatever realm of community, yeah, it's all about

(01:07:45):
safety, the accepted foundation of every true family in a N325 class. Oh, man, I have this pretty
sy idea. You guys made it real. That's all that happened. So, also to a faster massage, I was
cheermer, I think I pyramid you can't ask 100 class. Those that I know, there was OB and Tami in

(01:08:05):
that class. They're, um, to your same numbers. I got into the S. Tami. Yeah, they're both awesome.
OB too. Yeah. Tami doing big things like NSO and generally great things. And as it's cool, because
I met them day, I was there. Cheer mentors for that. Mm-hmm. I got into USA time. Do you too?
That's kind of hard. Yeah, yeah. Cool. So, I really catered by with them. And I think going to

(01:08:26):
their, going to your class, uh, teaching them it helped don't that want. So thank you once again. Um,
all right. So, here's the question I feel that a lot of people are, uh, don't me into because, well,
for the seniors, it's just graduate. Yes, sir. You know, there's, there are many college students
that face the news alone. So, you know, pursuing your passion is a career. Something you love doing,

(01:08:47):
something you enjoy, because you like who cares about them when you just love it. You know,
it's where your heart's at versus doing something less interesting, something you probably will not
like, but it's financially stable. Um, you know, stable in general, you can benefit, especially
this government, you know, in a lot of times students are, and I think that's still like what,

(01:09:08):
what do I choose? Because at the same time, I'm pursuing me, but, you know, it is like that
aesthetic of my family. And I want to, I want to make them happy because they raised me.
They're probably talking to live another roof. What do you say that student goes, hey, I'm,
I'm a crossroads here. Either I can do something I love doing. I may not get as much support,
remove something. Yeah. I hate doing that. Sac if I still make me gain a lot of money. Yeah.

(01:09:32):
Well, first of all, you know, for those of you who recently graduated CSUN, you know,
I graduation feels so good. One of the reasons it feels so good is it's a moment in your life where
you prove a lot of you are wrong. You know, that's one of the greatest humans in the world,
showing the world I was right about the decision that made. And if we mentioned earlier, there's a
lot of prejudices about Cal State authors too. There's a lot of prejudices about Asian American studies.

(01:09:57):
And as we all know, it's a tough hustle to get through this educational system. So first off,
congratulate yourselves. The fact that you graduated is proof positive that you did the right thing
and you proved a lot of your daughters and haters wrong. What I think is most anxiety-inducing
about the pro-graduate world is now your playground is the world. It's no longer just this campus and

(01:10:22):
you are overwhelmed by options and possibilities. And it can be really challenging to contemplate
the bad thing was that could happen. You know, I try this and it fails for the next. But I encourage
you all to do this. You know, having a lot of options, it can be intimidating, but if you embrace it,
it could also be your greatest advantage because there's so many people in this world that got no

(01:10:46):
options with what they could do with their lives. When it comes to options, you all got the whole
world. All right, majoring in Asian American studies, you can do anything. You know, you can do
anything that makes sense to you. Believe that. So my encouragement, you know, for students
who graduated, especially for more CSUN environment, specifically our CSUN, Asian American studies

(01:11:08):
environment is work with the advantages you got. The fact that you have many options is an advantage.
It's not a disadvantage. The fact that you have a sense of community that you have here,
that is your greatest advantage in trailer. I've looked at other campuses. You know, I've taught a
year at LMU. I taught the recorders at UCLA and I'm telling you, I say again and again, this has the

(01:11:29):
best sense of community of any higher education institution. I'll never know this is the best.
And that's the greatest treasure you have. So in addition to using your community network and,
you know, using all of your options as advantages, rather than disadvantages, take the time,

(01:11:50):
take advantage of your youthful time to look around and try things, try those different options.
If one of them doesn't work, big deal. Try another one. Your options are not going to be leading
anytime soon. But looking around until you find that one calling that makes perfect sense,
like that missing puzzle piece of your heart, it's worth the struggle in his worth the struggle.

(01:12:17):
And when you find that piece, that final piece of your heart, that calling,
you will find a way naturally how to build your life around it. And pretty soon things like,
you know, money and finances, that'll work itself out. No matter what you do, money comes at
cost. That's just how the world is. That's just how the economy is. But waking up there,

(01:12:38):
be morning to a calling that you love. That is rare. And that is one of the greatest treasures you
could ever find in this life. So give yourself some credit. You've already accomplished a lot.
And you have yet to accomplish wonders that you can't even imagine. So look around, take your time.
Whenever you have a moment of doubt, come back to your family. Ask us for advice. Ask us to

(01:13:03):
network you. We know we will help you find what you need to find. And when you do find that
calling that you wanted to vote your life with, that's from the fun begins. And no matter where you go
with that calling, you'll always know you have a home here. How many people can say that?
True. You know, and that's why I've been around so long. There was a time I didn't think I'd

(01:13:25):
make it to the point of one. And what I did, you know, and I'm actually majoring as Asia writer,
studies saying it is 21, or a special major. Yeah, even then I still have this like anxious feeling
of doom. It's like, all right, I'm in it this far. I'm trying not to make it to 30. I made it to 30.
I'm going to be 44 in a week. Happy day. Thank you, sir. But the reason why I'm still around

(01:13:47):
despite everything I've been through and why I still love this life because of all those things
I described, I'm supposed to find that one red calling and most importantly, I was able to,
you know, have this community love to keep me going. I believe that the only time you look down
someone should be when you're helping them out. So when you take on this path, you will always

(01:14:08):
have people to help you up. So it's okay to stumble. It's okay to make mistakes. But I don't think it's
okay to give up on your heart. Like that. Sure. Last question. How do you have any advice for young adults
or adults or anyone in general going through hardships in your life? I feel that at this age, you know,

(01:14:32):
or not, or not like, not kids, but we're not 12 or 12 adults. You know, I'm getting older.
You're a student. We're doing what's family issues. You're growing like hell and people passing away
or just just right in general. I mean, here we are at college. It's just maybe like the bridge
between being a teenager and being an adult. There's so much stuff. We want to pressure

(01:14:54):
around the world. It's just coming at you. What advice do you have for people just at me or
at a time or just in general? One day at a time, one moment at a time. It's easier said than done,
but it's true. And I can say this is someone who's been around long enough to see that life will
turn out in unexpected ways, but not in bad unexpected ways if that makes any sense. Like I said before,

(01:15:20):
you know, I've dealt with depression and anxiety and trauma for most of my life. Smartback is
I can remember, but I think of how fatalistic I would feel, you know, in my earlier years,
thinking that I'm not, I made it this 21. I'm not going to make it to 30. If you're a, I'm one
of my great privileges. The fact that I can say I made it to big a age. The fact is, and I can say

(01:15:41):
this from experience, the only thing you can be sure about is one day at a time, one moment at a
time. The worst thing you can do is assume that every horrible thing is going to happen. It could,
like you don't know that. You won't know what's going to happen tomorrow until you get to tomorrow.
So, you know, if you believe that the sun on the, oh, I totally lost my shirt, I thought there,

(01:16:07):
you know, if you believe that the sun only shines in the day, you're never going to make it through
the night. You know, I think that's a quote from Star Wars or something, but you know, if you only
believe that the sun exists in the daytime, you'll never make it through the night. You know,
but once you make it through the night, moment by moment, bit by bit, it's a new day, and you know what,

(01:16:28):
you're going to be okay. Every day is like a legal break. I like to think. And the fact is, you're
nowhere near finishing your masterpiece. I am still laying down by break day by day moment by moment.
So, why do you know, you know, it could turn out to be the most magnificent thing that you could ever

(01:16:49):
not even imagine, but you're not going to know unless you stick around and take it brick by brick day by day,
moment by moment. Bad days come and go, but the good days are the ones that keep you going even further
and the ones that make your life all worthwhile. You're going to have moments that are so joyful,

(01:17:11):
that you will say to yourself, every messed up traumatic fucked up thing other than two is cool,
because it meant that it led me to this moment. So, it's worth sticking around one day at a time now.
Cool. Are you last four I was here? Are you performing at Tansu?
Yeah, yeah. I'm scheduled to read some poems next Tuesday night, June 5th.

(01:17:37):
Promotion is a Tuesday night project dot org for direction from line up and all the information's there.
Yeah, so that'll be next Tuesday. I'll read information about what site.
Oh, there are social majorities again.
Oh, yeah. My poems and my CB and stuff are at landakino.wordpress.com. That's day,

(01:18:04):
at ldl.dain.au.org.org. That's where I post up a lot of my free rides and
homes I'm working on and my resume and CV are also there as well. So, I kind of use it unofficially
for professional reference. But if you're curious about what I do, that's a place to start.

(01:18:26):
Cool. What class do you teach next semester? I don't know yet. Yeah, I'm still waiting on the
final details of the fall schedule. I do know that the Filipino American experience class is
going to be offered in that wall. Yeah. If things go as they normally routinely do, I might
get assigned to moderate it. But whether or not I'm teaching that class, I want to be involved.

(01:18:52):
And I will definitely be involved with spam. For next fall, the students who are Filipino
American history are October programming. So, I don't know what my classes are yet, but I'm going
to be around no matter what. Okay. I definitely shout out to you when I'm gone to anyone or anybody.
Well, shout out to your listeners. Yeah, I haven't kept telling us on how many people

(01:19:14):
listen to your questions. That's all I'm drawing. It's good. It'll be about a year in
lunch of last. I started based. It's growing. You know what? Yeah. To shout out to the listeners,
you are bearing witness in the history. Tully, you are bearing witness to history. This
man is making history. Okay. He's not just my idling or my baby bro is one of my heroes. Okay.
You're doing things I've only fantasy to me, Matt. When I was 12, I never would have thought one day

(01:19:40):
there would be the Filipino American rappers who would dope it. What they do. All right. And
they're you are. You know, he's on the level of ordering me out records doing dance. And this too,
this is the tools of our A. You're using your tools. You're using this medium
to get your story told to immortalize it. Thank you. And that means the world. We were, you know,

(01:20:06):
you are positive that our people, our community were not just a fragment of history. And we don't
been here. She's the evidence. Also, I'm alive in your story. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you.
Alright then, thank you very much. Thank you, sir.
Alright. One more.
[MUSIC]

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The Power Of Education, Identity & Art ft. Alan Aquino (2017)

Stuff You Should Know