October 4, 2024 • 27 mins
Von reflects on his journey, discussing the importance of solo episodes, navigating life's challenges, and the significance of reflecting on personal progress. He shares insights on dealing with burnout, the benefits of gym workouts, and the necessity of self-reflection to appreciate how far one has come. Von emphasizes the importance of bouncing back from setbacks and maintaining a positive perspective on personal growth.
Chapters
(00:00) Embracing Solo Episodes
(08:49) Reflecting on Personal Progress
(25:08) Finding Balance and Moving Forward
Follow Me on Social Media:
https://www.instagram.com/thevoncastshow/
https://www.instagram.com/shibavon/
https://www.tiktok.com/@wowshibavon
https://www.iamvon.net/
Chapters
(00:00) Embracing Solo Episodes
(08:49) Reflecting on Personal Progress
(25:08) Finding Balance and Moving Forward
Follow Me on Social Media:
https://www.instagram.com/thevoncastshow/
https://www.instagram.com/shibavon/
https://www.tiktok.com/@wowshibavon
https://www.iamvon.net/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey there! My name is Vaughn and this is the Vaughncast Show. This is a podcast that focuses on
(00:08):
mental health, breaking societal stigmas, harm reduction, addiction and recovery. If you like what
you hear, subscribe and leave a review on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Also, follow the podcast
Instagram @thevaughncast show where I post video content from the show. All right, let's get into
(00:33):
today's episode. All right, welcome to the Vaughncast show. I'm your host Vaughn. Hope you're
doing well. Happy Friday. Today is a solo episode. I told myself in the beginning of a year that
(00:53):
I wanted to record more solo episodes. I noticed that all I've been doing were mainly guest
podcasts where I had guests come on and we have a topic. We talk about what they do and whatnot.
And I love doing those, but realizing that I got to make more solo episodes.
(01:22):
I've been on threads. I really like Instagram threads. It's where I've been getting a lot of my guests
lately. And it's a great community for podcasters and it does look like people really do enjoy
when the host just talks to their listeners by themselves. Yeah, sometimes I've noticed that I'd
(01:51):
really do enjoy the episodes where they just talk about their lives and what's going on.
Sometimes I like those more than the guest ones. And the reason why I haven't really been doing
solo episodes is because they're hard. They're difficult when you get a guest on, you have a
(02:14):
set of questions and it's a conversation for the most part. I don't have to do all the talking. But
with solo episodes, I kind of have to do all the talking. So I really want to do more of this kind
of stuff where I just chat about life, the certain topics. I feel like it might help grow my listeners.
(02:39):
And hey, another downside to get sometimes is you just, you know, you have to keep fighting guests.
And I don't mind, but sometimes it's just the rescheduling or it's just difficult reaching out.
The the turnaround times and times is tough. Oftentimes I'm realizing that
solo podcast episodes are the way to go. I won't completely ditch the guest episodes. I think they're
(03:04):
important. I think I should have experts or people in the field on my show when I talk about topics
that I'm not too familiar with or I'm curious about, but have little to no knowledge about. And
today is just a very chill episode. Talk about what's kind of going on lately.
(03:31):
So it's a Friday recording this. For the most part, I record on Fridays and then upload it the same day.
So I also have two days off in a row, which is really cool. I don't have those often, but I really do
(03:54):
like having two days off in a row because I don't have to worry about doing a work the next day,
obviously, if I'm on my first day. And two is just nice to have two days off in a row consecutively,
just so you can actually relax fully. Some of you one day I'll just
(04:19):
relax and chill the other day. I'll do some errands where sometimes you have days off and just split apart.
You have a day off, but it feels like you really can't do too much because you gotta wake up the
next day depending what time you get up. We're doing a lot of morning shifts early morning shifts,
which are cool. I'm digging those. But lately, I don't know, this week has been ups and downs for me.
(04:47):
It's been, I don't know, challenging, I guess. I'm so burnt out sometimes. I enjoy work, but I notice that I
get burnt out after work. And when I go home, I literally just eat food, watch YouTube videos,
or movies, or shows, and nap. And there's nothing wrong with it. I think that's what it is. It was really
(05:11):
hot in the Valley, LA this week, so you really can't do too much. But I just noticed I've been
napping a lot. And I love napping, I would not work and everything, but I noticed I just been napping a lot
(05:31):
at home more than usual, I think, because I'm stressed out. And I think a lot of times I kind of tell myself,
you know, I'm not really feeling comfortable with how I'm feeling or what's going on right now,
and I'm just gonna nap it away. I'm gonna sleep it off. And sometimes it's cool, but it's something I
(05:58):
just noticed that I don't know. It's another form of escapism, I guess, where I just say, you know what,
I'm just gonna eat this much food, because I know it'll feel good. And then I feel sleepy. And that
in that state of, man, I had a flu coma and I went to nap. The worries go away. The anxiety goes
(06:25):
away. The stress melts away. And I can just take a nap and you have some cool dreams wake up and
be like, what the heck happened? Where am I? I think those are kind of like my favorite types of
sleep where it's such deep sleep that sometimes I think it's the next day. Kind of thing where
(06:51):
it's like two or three in the morning, but now it's just seven or eight o'clock. I just left for
a couple hours and it was a really deep sleep. I really like getting that type of sleep and
having some cool dreams and sometimes I'm somewhat lucid. And those dreams can kind of
control what happens or I go to sleep, I wake up and I'm like, oh, that was a cool dream, hopefully,
(07:21):
when I go to sleep again, that dream can resume or it can be something similar. And it's kind of fun
when I can do that. So that was, that's been my week. It's been good, but stressful at times. And
this day has been pretty chill. It's my day off today. So I, so I went to the gym. I started going to
(07:47):
the gym. So I realized that this is something I need. And now I can be with my bike. And that's a great
cardio, but I do need a weight training, resistance training. And I noticed that it does improve my mood
a little bit, boost self confidence. And I feel a little accomplished doing it.
(08:12):
And I like going early in the morning. There's less people. So that's how I've been spending my time
when it's not too high, just going to the gym. I really want to dedicate three to four days,
going to the gym. I feel like it can improve with me and my stress and anxiety. And just feel
(08:38):
good overall. So those are, that's a pretty cool addition in my life.
So yeah, I decided to talk about like progress, looking back to see how far you've come. And your journey.
(09:03):
Because I don't know about you, but I find myself, you know, living day to day. I'm so caught up with
what's going on in life. Usually I'm more focused on the negative things.
That's because of my anxiety possibly, but I'm always stressing out about something.
(09:32):
Whether it's an encounter or work, finances, personal life. And I tend to overthink and spiral.
Have a lot of negative thoughts and think about scenarios that don't exist. I think I've mentioned
this type of thinking before these patterns. And I realize that sometimes I got to reflect,
(10:03):
take a step back and see how far I've come. I know in the last episode, I talked about why living in
nostalgia is bad and how it ruined my life for a few years. Sorry. I know in the last episode, I talked about
why living in the nostalgia is bad and how it ruined my life for a few years. So in this episode, I kind of
(10:31):
want to touch on why looking back to reflect your progress can be healthy.
So dwelling that I was talking about in the last episode, the last solo episode is,
dwelling on your past means trying to relive or fix something that's already happened.
(10:54):
In this case, you will not learn anything from it and will only negatively impact your actions
in judgment. When we dwell, our present becomes a hollow shell for the past to hunt.
Reflection is different. It requires analysis without judgment. It means understanding, accepting
the past cannot be repeated or changed while using it to provide insight into our present actions,
(11:21):
feelings and thoughts. So that online thought that was a pretty cool distinction. It was a medium article,
I believe. And yeah, so I get caught up with these negative thoughts and sometimes put myself down.
I tell myself, man, I haven't done shit. It's October of 2024. I haven't accomplished
(11:53):
things I wanted to accomplish, not everything at least. And I kind of start beating myself up over it.
And the improvement, I guess, is now I'm able to catch that negative self-talk a little faster.
Still do it, but I'm able to turn it around. It's kind of questioned my way of thinking a little faster.
(12:22):
And kind of just reflect, you know, I think about other accomplishments I've done. I think if anything,
obviously staying clean, not doing drugs, that's a big accomplishment for me. I'm coming up on two
years next Wednesday. I think the next, the following episode after this, I'll be doing another
(12:49):
solo episode where I talk about what it's like being clean for two years. There's definitely distinction
for me from the first year to the second year. But what are we talking about, damn,
be out progress, right? The number one thing I guess would be sobriety staying clean.
(13:15):
Number two, one thing I can be proud of this year about myself is podcasting.
There's been a few weeks where I didn't upload an episode and sometimes I just can't do to
being out of town or something came up. I'm sick maybe. But that's only been, I'd say a few times.
(13:44):
I remember I had to go out of town sometimes or I was not well, I couldn't podcast because I have a
fucked up voice or I couldn't talk or I was coughing. And that was the only happen a few times
and for the most part, I uploaded episodes somewhere throwbacks. But I do feel pretty proud that
(14:12):
for the most part, I've been consistent. I don't think I've ever been this consistent for this
long with podcasting. So I'm pretty stoked about that. In the past, maybe I'd be like, I do, I don't know,
(14:36):
I go for like a few weeks strong and then I take a break to upload anything. But now I've definitely
put podcasting as a priority and it's been cool. I think for me just doing the work itself,
(14:57):
writing the script, writing the questions, recording, editing, uploading, that's the journey,
itself, the process is pretty cool. I do enjoy it. Sometimes I don't think I dread it sometimes
because I'm not feeling out for it. But I'm gonna give myself a pat in the back for just
(15:22):
doing it anyways when I sometimes didn't really want to. Like this week, I didn't really do no
ones recorded podcast episode. So at the time I wrote this outline for this episode, I was not
really in the mood to do much. You know, I was in like a pretty copy movement. I think I just mentioned
(15:46):
a few minutes ago where I just want to go home and just read the hours just chill and I do anything
and just nap for the most of the afternoon and sleep most of the night. And because of that,
I wanted to definitely remind myself how far I've come with progress overall. And maybe I don't
(16:14):
know. Think about maybe how far you've come or our adversity is yet to face in the past. I think
we forget that sometimes. And I think it's a great way to put things in perspective because
again, I am so caught up in the moment or I just lose track of things. And I focus so much on the
(16:38):
things that I could have done, the things I feel I fail that, the things that didn't work out for me.
I obsess over those thoughts a lot. And looking back at my progress
helps me put things into perspective.
(17:05):
I saw a pretty cool quote online too. Actually, remember how far you've come? Not how far you have to go.
And you are you are not where you want to be, but neither are where you used to be by Rick Warren.
I like those quotes a lot.
(17:29):
And they're, yeah, when I think of those, it puts things into perspective.
Remember how far you've come and how far you have to go. I feel like I always think about
how far I have to go. Like, hey, I would hit this milestone I'm supposed to. And I start spiraling.
(17:57):
But then I remember, hey, man, you've gone pretty far in your journey so far. Just
journey, when I say journey, I mean just the past few years, maybe 10 years, I've noticed my life
and proved little by little. You know, whether it's getting off drugs or just living a little healthier
(18:19):
and processing things better emotionally, seeing a therapist, all that.
And another one that I really like is, I don't know who wrote, I think it was unknown, but you
might have heard this quote before. It says, remember when you wanted everything you have now.
(18:46):
And I pause and think, wow, that is, that's true. I can remember 13 years ago, I live with the
family member and stay on the couch in an apartment. And I remember thinking, man, I really can't wait
(19:12):
to love my own again, to have a stable job, I'm paying bills off, having like a life and having
a sense of privacy and I'm thinking maybe I'm in a better relationship with my family, a better
relationship with myself. These were things I was thinking of 13 years ago.
(19:41):
And looking back, I'm pretty grateful. I'm pretty grateful how far I've come and I've been able to
meet those milestones, those things I wanted in life. And it feels, it feels really good.
(20:04):
Wait, was it 11? No, 2011? Yeah, that's about right, 13 years ago, around that time, in better math.
But when I think about it like that, yeah, I have problems now. I got issues, I have stuff, I still got
(20:25):
to work on. But though it mean those basic things, kind of living on my own, I run to room in a place
at a house, being in a better relationship with myself and people around me, at two. That's
something I've always wanted. And I pretty much have that right now. And I just remember
(20:52):
thinking about that, man, I really can't wait till this happens, that happens, and it's happened.
And I have to again, put things in a perspective. I got to remember how I felt back then, what I was
doing through. Barely like had much of my bank account, I went money went to partying essentially.
(21:15):
And it's just, it feels like I feel better about my current situation that, you know, I
felt like I made it in a sense. Like, there were 2011 me, 2010 me, would be so stoked to see
(21:43):
present me where I'm at right now. Like, if I could just see myself, if I just wouldn't have known
that that would eventually happen, man, that would give me some hope, you know.
(22:04):
So yeah, it's something I gotta be mindful of. But it's a cool feeling. Like damn, I really did that.
I was able to do this, little by little, improving my life over time.
(22:27):
And small doses, I mean, definitely using a party who was definitely like a setback, but I learned
through, I learned some lessons through that as well, which I think I'll get into the next episode,
next week. So yeah, I think definitely when you're going through difficult times, personally for me,
(22:50):
I gotta look back, because I went through some difficult times in the past.
And from what I can, from what I learned, and what I can learn is that that I've noticed is
I was able to get over those obstacles eventually.
I was able to bounce back from these setbacks. I had so many, I had so many setbacks. And
(23:22):
yeah, something I learned about constantly fucking up, relapsing is that I am able to bounce back.
And my attitude shifts when I stop, I stop obsessing about the so-called
(23:48):
relapse or setback and focus more on, okay, this happened. What can I do to keep going? Or
this happened? What can I do for me here?
Obviously, some things are a lot more difficult when it comes to setbacks and whatnot. But
(24:17):
yeah, for me, looking back eventually, I was able to bounce back and
with what I'm going through right now, I mean, it's nothing serious, it's just personal life stuff.
I'll bounce back eventually, you know. So, net helps when I'm able to reflect, look back
(24:41):
in the past, in my past, and see how far I've come in the milestones I've achieved. But don't
dwell there too long, because then I'll probably get stuck out, I'll probably get stuck with
thinking about the glory days and reliving it in my head and everything and, yeah,
(25:08):
I think that's the episode for today. I'm the shorter side, but, you know, I definitely want to have
more of these types of episodes right, just kind of chat with y'all, see how you're doing.
Hope everything's going well with you. I hope, you know, you can buy your doing well and
(25:32):
getting help when you need it, if you need it, or that would be therapy through talking to a friend or
someone you consider close. I know therapy is always available, hours and really able to do therapy
up until recently because of my job. So, I'm thinking for that, but talking to close people,
(26:01):
close people in your life, that's also from therapy, I think. So, yeah, I hope you're doing all right.
I'll be getting by and, you know, wishing you the best. I'm stoked it's October.
(26:22):
October, I think Halloween is probably one of my favorite holidays. I don't really
trust that much anymore or do Halloween parties, but I do like the stupiness of it, the lore,
the vampires, the Braille Wolves, monsters, all that. I'm a big fan of that type of stuff. So, I'm stoked.
(26:49):
I'm stoked. So, that pretty much wraps up our episode. This is a very laid back
chilled episode. Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know if I should do more of these episodes.
And I'll see you next week. Take care. Bye.
(27:12):
[BLANK_AUDIO]
Hey there! My name is Vaughn and this is the Vaughncast Show. This is a podcast that focuses on
(00:08):
mental health, breaking societal stigmas, harm reduction, addiction and recovery. If you like what
you hear, subscribe and leave a review on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Also, follow the podcast
Instagram @thevaughncast show where I post video content from the show. All right, let's get into
(00:33):
today's episode. All right, welcome to the Vaughncast show. I'm your host Vaughn. Hope you're
doing well. Happy Friday. Today is a solo episode. I told myself in the beginning of a year that
(00:53):
I wanted to record more solo episodes. I noticed that all I've been doing were mainly guest
podcasts where I had guests come on and we have a topic. We talk about what they do and whatnot.
And I love doing those, but realizing that I got to make more solo episodes.
(01:22):
I've been on threads. I really like Instagram threads. It's where I've been getting a lot of my guests
lately. And it's a great community for podcasters and it does look like people really do enjoy
when the host just talks to their listeners by themselves. Yeah, sometimes I've noticed that I'd
(01:51):
really do enjoy the episodes where they just talk about their lives and what's going on.
Sometimes I like those more than the guest ones. And the reason why I haven't really been doing
solo episodes is because they're hard. They're difficult when you get a guest on, you have a
(02:14):
set of questions and it's a conversation for the most part. I don't have to do all the talking. But
with solo episodes, I kind of have to do all the talking. So I really want to do more of this kind
of stuff where I just chat about life, the certain topics. I feel like it might help grow my listeners.
(02:39):
And hey, another downside to get sometimes is you just, you know, you have to keep fighting guests.
And I don't mind, but sometimes it's just the rescheduling or it's just difficult reaching out.
The the turnaround times and times is tough. Oftentimes I'm realizing that
solo podcast episodes are the way to go. I won't completely ditch the guest episodes. I think they're
(03:04):
important. I think I should have experts or people in the field on my show when I talk about topics
that I'm not too familiar with or I'm curious about, but have little to no knowledge about. And
today is just a very chill episode. Talk about what's kind of going on lately.
(03:31):
So it's a Friday recording this. For the most part, I record on Fridays and then upload it the same day.
So I also have two days off in a row, which is really cool. I don't have those often, but I really do
(03:54):
like having two days off in a row because I don't have to worry about doing a work the next day,
obviously, if I'm on my first day. And two is just nice to have two days off in a row consecutively,
just so you can actually relax fully. Some of you one day I'll just
(04:19):
relax and chill the other day. I'll do some errands where sometimes you have days off and just split apart.
You have a day off, but it feels like you really can't do too much because you gotta wake up the
next day depending what time you get up. We're doing a lot of morning shifts early morning shifts,
which are cool. I'm digging those. But lately, I don't know, this week has been ups and downs for me.
(04:47):
It's been, I don't know, challenging, I guess. I'm so burnt out sometimes. I enjoy work, but I notice that I
get burnt out after work. And when I go home, I literally just eat food, watch YouTube videos,
or movies, or shows, and nap. And there's nothing wrong with it. I think that's what it is. It was really
(05:11):
hot in the Valley, LA this week, so you really can't do too much. But I just noticed I've been
napping a lot. And I love napping, I would not work and everything, but I noticed I just been napping a lot
(05:31):
at home more than usual, I think, because I'm stressed out. And I think a lot of times I kind of tell myself,
you know, I'm not really feeling comfortable with how I'm feeling or what's going on right now,
and I'm just gonna nap it away. I'm gonna sleep it off. And sometimes it's cool, but it's something I
(05:58):
just noticed that I don't know. It's another form of escapism, I guess, where I just say, you know what,
I'm just gonna eat this much food, because I know it'll feel good. And then I feel sleepy. And that
in that state of, man, I had a flu coma and I went to nap. The worries go away. The anxiety goes
(06:25):
away. The stress melts away. And I can just take a nap and you have some cool dreams wake up and
be like, what the heck happened? Where am I? I think those are kind of like my favorite types of
sleep where it's such deep sleep that sometimes I think it's the next day. Kind of thing where
(06:51):
it's like two or three in the morning, but now it's just seven or eight o'clock. I just left for
a couple hours and it was a really deep sleep. I really like getting that type of sleep and
having some cool dreams and sometimes I'm somewhat lucid. And those dreams can kind of
control what happens or I go to sleep, I wake up and I'm like, oh, that was a cool dream, hopefully,
(07:21):
when I go to sleep again, that dream can resume or it can be something similar. And it's kind of fun
when I can do that. So that was, that's been my week. It's been good, but stressful at times. And
this day has been pretty chill. It's my day off today. So I, so I went to the gym. I started going to
(07:47):
the gym. So I realized that this is something I need. And now I can be with my bike. And that's a great
cardio, but I do need a weight training, resistance training. And I noticed that it does improve my mood
a little bit, boost self confidence. And I feel a little accomplished doing it.
(08:12):
And I like going early in the morning. There's less people. So that's how I've been spending my time
when it's not too high, just going to the gym. I really want to dedicate three to four days,
going to the gym. I feel like it can improve with me and my stress and anxiety. And just feel
(08:38):
good overall. So those are, that's a pretty cool addition in my life.
So yeah, I decided to talk about like progress, looking back to see how far you've come. And your journey.
(09:03):
Because I don't know about you, but I find myself, you know, living day to day. I'm so caught up with
what's going on in life. Usually I'm more focused on the negative things.
That's because of my anxiety possibly, but I'm always stressing out about something.
(09:32):
Whether it's an encounter or work, finances, personal life. And I tend to overthink and spiral.
Have a lot of negative thoughts and think about scenarios that don't exist. I think I've mentioned
this type of thinking before these patterns. And I realize that sometimes I got to reflect,
(10:03):
take a step back and see how far I've come. I know in the last episode, I talked about why living in
nostalgia is bad and how it ruined my life for a few years. Sorry. I know in the last episode, I talked about
why living in the nostalgia is bad and how it ruined my life for a few years. So in this episode, I kind of
(10:31):
want to touch on why looking back to reflect your progress can be healthy.
So dwelling that I was talking about in the last episode, the last solo episode is,
dwelling on your past means trying to relive or fix something that's already happened.
(10:54):
In this case, you will not learn anything from it and will only negatively impact your actions
in judgment. When we dwell, our present becomes a hollow shell for the past to hunt.
Reflection is different. It requires analysis without judgment. It means understanding, accepting
the past cannot be repeated or changed while using it to provide insight into our present actions,
(11:21):
feelings and thoughts. So that online thought that was a pretty cool distinction. It was a medium article,
I believe. And yeah, so I get caught up with these negative thoughts and sometimes put myself down.
I tell myself, man, I haven't done shit. It's October of 2024. I haven't accomplished
(11:53):
things I wanted to accomplish, not everything at least. And I kind of start beating myself up over it.
And the improvement, I guess, is now I'm able to catch that negative self-talk a little faster.
Still do it, but I'm able to turn it around. It's kind of questioned my way of thinking a little faster.
(12:22):
And kind of just reflect, you know, I think about other accomplishments I've done. I think if anything,
obviously staying clean, not doing drugs, that's a big accomplishment for me. I'm coming up on two
years next Wednesday. I think the next, the following episode after this, I'll be doing another
(12:49):
solo episode where I talk about what it's like being clean for two years. There's definitely distinction
for me from the first year to the second year. But what are we talking about, damn,
be out progress, right? The number one thing I guess would be sobriety staying clean.
(13:15):
Number two, one thing I can be proud of this year about myself is podcasting.
There's been a few weeks where I didn't upload an episode and sometimes I just can't do to
being out of town or something came up. I'm sick maybe. But that's only been, I'd say a few times.
(13:44):
I remember I had to go out of town sometimes or I was not well, I couldn't podcast because I have a
fucked up voice or I couldn't talk or I was coughing. And that was the only happen a few times
and for the most part, I uploaded episodes somewhere throwbacks. But I do feel pretty proud that
(14:12):
for the most part, I've been consistent. I don't think I've ever been this consistent for this
long with podcasting. So I'm pretty stoked about that. In the past, maybe I'd be like, I do, I don't know,
(14:36):
I go for like a few weeks strong and then I take a break to upload anything. But now I've definitely
put podcasting as a priority and it's been cool. I think for me just doing the work itself,
(14:57):
writing the script, writing the questions, recording, editing, uploading, that's the journey,
itself, the process is pretty cool. I do enjoy it. Sometimes I don't think I dread it sometimes
because I'm not feeling out for it. But I'm gonna give myself a pat in the back for just
(15:22):
doing it anyways when I sometimes didn't really want to. Like this week, I didn't really do no
ones recorded podcast episode. So at the time I wrote this outline for this episode, I was not
really in the mood to do much. You know, I was in like a pretty copy movement. I think I just mentioned
(15:46):
a few minutes ago where I just want to go home and just read the hours just chill and I do anything
and just nap for the most of the afternoon and sleep most of the night. And because of that,
I wanted to definitely remind myself how far I've come with progress overall. And maybe I don't
(16:14):
know. Think about maybe how far you've come or our adversity is yet to face in the past. I think
we forget that sometimes. And I think it's a great way to put things in perspective because
again, I am so caught up in the moment or I just lose track of things. And I focus so much on the
(16:38):
things that I could have done, the things I feel I fail that, the things that didn't work out for me.
I obsess over those thoughts a lot. And looking back at my progress
helps me put things into perspective.
(17:05):
I saw a pretty cool quote online too. Actually, remember how far you've come? Not how far you have to go.
And you are you are not where you want to be, but neither are where you used to be by Rick Warren.
I like those quotes a lot.
(17:29):
And they're, yeah, when I think of those, it puts things into perspective.
Remember how far you've come and how far you have to go. I feel like I always think about
how far I have to go. Like, hey, I would hit this milestone I'm supposed to. And I start spiraling.
(17:57):
But then I remember, hey, man, you've gone pretty far in your journey so far. Just
journey, when I say journey, I mean just the past few years, maybe 10 years, I've noticed my life
and proved little by little. You know, whether it's getting off drugs or just living a little healthier
(18:19):
and processing things better emotionally, seeing a therapist, all that.
And another one that I really like is, I don't know who wrote, I think it was unknown, but you
might have heard this quote before. It says, remember when you wanted everything you have now.
(18:46):
And I pause and think, wow, that is, that's true. I can remember 13 years ago, I live with the
family member and stay on the couch in an apartment. And I remember thinking, man, I really can't wait
(19:12):
to love my own again, to have a stable job, I'm paying bills off, having like a life and having
a sense of privacy and I'm thinking maybe I'm in a better relationship with my family, a better
relationship with myself. These were things I was thinking of 13 years ago.
(19:41):
And looking back, I'm pretty grateful. I'm pretty grateful how far I've come and I've been able to
meet those milestones, those things I wanted in life. And it feels, it feels really good.
(20:04):
Wait, was it 11? No, 2011? Yeah, that's about right, 13 years ago, around that time, in better math.
But when I think about it like that, yeah, I have problems now. I got issues, I have stuff, I still got
(20:25):
to work on. But though it mean those basic things, kind of living on my own, I run to room in a place
at a house, being in a better relationship with myself and people around me, at two. That's
something I've always wanted. And I pretty much have that right now. And I just remember
(20:52):
thinking about that, man, I really can't wait till this happens, that happens, and it's happened.
And I have to again, put things in a perspective. I got to remember how I felt back then, what I was
doing through. Barely like had much of my bank account, I went money went to partying essentially.
(21:15):
And it's just, it feels like I feel better about my current situation that, you know, I
felt like I made it in a sense. Like, there were 2011 me, 2010 me, would be so stoked to see
(21:43):
present me where I'm at right now. Like, if I could just see myself, if I just wouldn't have known
that that would eventually happen, man, that would give me some hope, you know.
(22:04):
So yeah, it's something I gotta be mindful of. But it's a cool feeling. Like damn, I really did that.
I was able to do this, little by little, improving my life over time.
(22:27):
And small doses, I mean, definitely using a party who was definitely like a setback, but I learned
through, I learned some lessons through that as well, which I think I'll get into the next episode,
next week. So yeah, I think definitely when you're going through difficult times, personally for me,
(22:50):
I gotta look back, because I went through some difficult times in the past.
And from what I can, from what I learned, and what I can learn is that that I've noticed is
I was able to get over those obstacles eventually.
I was able to bounce back from these setbacks. I had so many, I had so many setbacks. And
(23:22):
yeah, something I learned about constantly fucking up, relapsing is that I am able to bounce back.
And my attitude shifts when I stop, I stop obsessing about the so-called
(23:48):
relapse or setback and focus more on, okay, this happened. What can I do to keep going? Or
this happened? What can I do for me here?
Obviously, some things are a lot more difficult when it comes to setbacks and whatnot. But
(24:17):
yeah, for me, looking back eventually, I was able to bounce back and
with what I'm going through right now, I mean, it's nothing serious, it's just personal life stuff.
I'll bounce back eventually, you know. So, net helps when I'm able to reflect, look back
(24:41):
in the past, in my past, and see how far I've come in the milestones I've achieved. But don't
dwell there too long, because then I'll probably get stuck out, I'll probably get stuck with
thinking about the glory days and reliving it in my head and everything and, yeah,
(25:08):
I think that's the episode for today. I'm the shorter side, but, you know, I definitely want to have
more of these types of episodes right, just kind of chat with y'all, see how you're doing.
Hope everything's going well with you. I hope, you know, you can buy your doing well and
(25:32):
getting help when you need it, if you need it, or that would be therapy through talking to a friend or
someone you consider close. I know therapy is always available, hours and really able to do therapy
up until recently because of my job. So, I'm thinking for that, but talking to close people,
(26:01):
close people in your life, that's also from therapy, I think. So, yeah, I hope you're doing all right.
I'll be getting by and, you know, wishing you the best. I'm stoked it's October.
(26:22):
October, I think Halloween is probably one of my favorite holidays. I don't really
trust that much anymore or do Halloween parties, but I do like the stupiness of it, the lore,
the vampires, the Braille Wolves, monsters, all that. I'm a big fan of that type of stuff. So, I'm stoked.
(26:49):
I'm stoked. So, that pretty much wraps up our episode. This is a very laid back
chilled episode. Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know if I should do more of these episodes.
And I'll see you next week. Take care. Bye.
(27:12):
[BLANK_AUDIO]
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