Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
There's everybody else here in the same thing. I'm here.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm just listening to the Chris Stapleton. Why what are
you listening to?
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I like the music. I thought I heard something.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I don't know what you're talking about. We were gonna
do an addition that kicked off a plane. There's a
very bizarre video that went viral featuring two women standing
at the gate of an airplane commercial jet, and apparently
the steward is.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Excuse me, light attendance. My god, I'm sorry. You're lucky
you're not in jail. I just did a misogyny. I
apologize anyway.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
The flight attendant won't let the woman board the plane
because she is an emotional support kangaroo.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
The problem is, apparently it's not real.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
It's from some comedy bit in Europe and some country
that speaks a language we don't understand.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
So but kangaroo was kind of fun looking, huh. It
did look cool. I wouldn't mind walking around with kangaroo.
Just make people come up to you and go, hey,
what are you doing with a kangaroo? And then you
can just make stuff up.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
And then they put one of those this helper dog
vests on it. What are those called?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Well, now that I said helper dog, that's all I
could think of. I don't know what it's called.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yeah, anyway, kangaroo an emotional support advice to Anyway, it's
not a real video, unfortunately, I wish it was.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
But anyway, it's not. We got an email from old
Tom here, and we did encourage you to email us.
Thomps says, well, that New Orleans prison thing. I think
the cops are dealing with these escape convicts all wrong.
There's now way more people who aided and abetted the
escape than the actual number of escapees. Huh. Rather than
(01:33):
trying to find these escape convicts, they should just declare
the entire city of New Orleans as a progressive open
air prison. Wow. That way, all these crooked, corrupt people
wouldn't need to be sent to prison for helping the
people escape. They'd already be in prison. So I don't
(01:55):
think it's going to really change that much. But you know,
that's what progressiveness is all about. Yeah, I gotta imagine
you're probably right about that. Progress isn't very progressive, is it. No,
not a lot of progress there, unfortunately, all right, riding
on the prison of New Orleans. That could be a
new song.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
We sent a guy out on the street to ask
senior citizens what advice they'd give to the younger generation,
and I thought this was pretty good.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
What is you advice to the younger generation? I would say,
stop being a bunch of pussies. I think he's right. Well,
that's a good start. Hey, this old guy raises a
good point here. You know, I had everybody and old
guys talking.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Did you guys know one third of the world's millionaires
and billionaires live in America?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I did not. That's pretty cool, right, I guess, yeah,
not bad. I'm a new of them now I'm white.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
There's a few that's that's that privileged again. There's a
billionaire in Saint Louis who's a black guy. I don't
remember his name, but he's definitely black, right, yeah, I
double checked, Coach, couldn't believe it or what. Well, they
had a list of all the black eyes on Forbes.
Excuse me, all the billionaires in each state on Forbes,
and I was wondering if any of them were black.
And I scanned around and I found out there was
one in Saint Louis. Oh well, okay, yeah, And you
(03:10):
know that made me feel good about it by myself.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
As long as you're feeling good, canny, Even if you
have to make yourself feel good, it's important.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Anthony Bourdaine has been dead for a few years now, right,
did you know that now feminists are coming after him.
They're saying that he ruined the way men eat. Okay,
listen to this woman at the Free Press describe the.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Problem Anthony Bourdain broke, how a generation of men eat.
The cult of personality he left in his wake is
frankly insufferable. A lot of what we're seeing in food culture,
chef culture today has its roots in the type of
eating and journalism Anthony Bourdain did. Bourdines treated ordering soup
like a search and rescue mission, And now every man
thinks they have to splunk into some cave in order
(03:53):
to get a bull of fu, and unless they do,
they're not really having dinner.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Do you know any guy that does that?
Speaker 3 (03:59):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Mean either? Who is she talking to? Just a full
of nonsens saying she I have a theory about her
because I was watching this video earlier. You know anything
about her before that video?
Speaker 4 (04:09):
No?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
No, No, never met a woman.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
This woman's a journalist and a blogger and a podcaster
at the Free pat Press the FP dot com. It's
a thing the liberals look at. And she's saying all
the men in her life need to go out of
their way to get a bowl of soup, to the
point where it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Here's what I think is happening.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, I think she's on a date with a man, right,
And she starts talking like that, right, And then he
looks around and he says, you know what just occurred
to me. I can't have this bull of spaghetti at
Olive Garden. I gotta get an authentic bowl from some
backwoods Italian restaurant in an obscure part of the Louisiana
Cajun jungle. I would love to finish the date, but
(04:46):
gotta go. And then he walks out of and then
she's like, I blame Anthony Boort for this. It's not
that I'm insufferable, it's Anthony Bourtein's fault.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
All these men I me want to leave and go find.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
A more complicated me than the one that's right in
front of him.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Well, they'll just find anything, anything at all, to turn
themselves into a victim. Like that's what you're mad about.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
You're mad that some guy watched a TV show about
food and now he wants to find obscure hole in
the wall restaurants. They're not all doing that anyway. We've
given her more than enough attention. I think is full
of silliness today. All right, this is great. This is
my favorite headline today. And I'm not even gonna read
the story. I'm just gonna read the headline. People are
shocked by an X rated new play that features a
(05:31):
female Dwarf Nazi and explicit sex.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Acts female Dwarf Nazi. That one in her inglorious bastards. No, no,
they was Jason nazis there? No, this is a totally
different thing. Bid. I think that gal that was working
with him though, I think she's full grown tall hmm. Yeah. Anyway,
there's a movie, either a play or something. I don't know.
I'm not going to read the article to you, but
(05:55):
it's a story. Does anyone care? You're not gonna go
watch it?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah, no, just enough to be aware of something that
you should stay away from.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
There's a Dwarf Nazi robot sex play you can go
see if you're in the Netherlands or something.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I don't know. I'm not gonna go there, but oh god,
I started watching a show recently set in Denmark, Copenhagen, Denmark.
Why'd you do that? I you know, it was recommended,
and I don't think i'd like living there, just I mean,
it's all filmed there and everything, but it's in English.
You can see it's overdubbed because their lips don't match
(06:28):
the words because they're speaking into Herbert dub or Huber
Herbert kind of thuff like that. But it doesn't. It
just doesn't look like a cozy place to live. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
President Donald Trump has been thanked by baton rouge rapper
NBA Young Boy for pardoning him. Trump issued a series
of pardons yesterday, awarding them to a former New York congressman,
a Connecticut governor, a rapper known as NBA Young Boy,
a labor union leader, and a one time army officer
who flaunted safety measures during the coronavirus pandemic.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Oh no, he risked our lives. That's a that's a
shame anyway.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Shout outs to NBA Young Boy. Now he's a maga
guy boy. The rappers love Trump. Well, how are you
gonna like the other side they want to take your
money and your guns away. We have Trump wants to
give you money and guns. Whose side are you on, NBA,
young boy?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah? Yeah? What's The second example was a sign which read,
and I quote, I love Vagina Nom Nom nom noam
urquet was named Vagina. Oh what now, Walton and Johnson
Radio Network.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Well, there were some people that were flying Southwest to
avoid the baggage fees and that's done now of yesterday.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah, now they're charging at Southwest. That's for checked bags.
So I suspect there will be a PLETHEBA of people
trying to board the plane with carry ons that probably
won't even fit.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I now we're gonna regret doing this. In fact, I
already wish I hadn't done the show. Well, I mean,
obviously are just in general our entire career. Yeah, but no, No,
we have a guy down at the airport right now
where a frequent flyer is something to say to everyone
at Terminal one.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Oh good, because I'm not going down there.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
All right, Hang on, brothers and sisters, Today we gather
to more in the passing of bags flying free on
Southwest airlines. We remember the heady days of yesteryear when
one could cram their entire apartment into two suitcases for
a three day weekend at their ants.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
In Minneapolis for no charge.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Sure, one of those bags would end up in Newark,
but it was still free. Like those bags of peanuts
they generously hand out before switching to pretzels due to
the Great allergy outbreak of two thousand and three. We'll
remember you Southwest as we layer up like that kid
in a Christmas story to avoid excess baggage, beas and
stuff our earthly belongings into a backpack and ran it
(09:00):
under the seat on Spirit Airlines because we're cheap and
we like being treated poorly. Uh huh, So Southwest Airlines,
we say, unto the rip, two bags flying for free.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Women delightfully mysterious or backcrap crazy? Yeah, I think you'd
only answer the rat.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It is a woman saying ridiculous things your part, and
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It's supplements. It's not magic. Oh that's cold blooded, mister Kevin.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Hey, I have definitive proof that there is a difference
between men and women, or at least nine out of ten.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
So do I? I think I have the same proof you. No, no, no,
I believe me. I've seen that.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah, okay, no no. This is the existence of bugs.
This is what this is about.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I a bugs, like like crawley insects stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I don't want bugs in my house. That's why I
like DA exterminating. But for the record, you know, cockroaches
they're not poisonous. They can't kill you, they don't attack,
they don't bite.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
But they might make me kill myself if one gets
on me.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
There's this woman sending me text messages right now about
how her entire office today was disrupted because of the
presence of a cockroach.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
She needs you to rush on over there and take
care of it for well.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
She was texting me, she said, what do you guys do?
Would you recommen? She was asking us to recommend an exterminator.
Apparently there was a single cockroach in an office filled
with women.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Oh boy, and I came to work. I'm just going
to read it to you.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Came to work and immediately had the biggest confrontation of
my life. There was a bug on my desk and
in an office full of women.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Women.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
It took us almost an hour, more than forty five
minutes to get the problem fixed.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Your lord, I said, what is that? Why? She said,
is my biggest phobia. I guess none of them wanted
to use their shoes. You know, women are pretty touchy
about there. She use, You know, man, just walk over,
pick an shoe up, slap it down on a dip.
Problems solve. I pick it up with my bare hands.
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
She said that she saw the bug near her desk
and she started dry heaving. She said, Chelsea, her manager
was nowhere to be found. The other three women in
the office stood by the desk until they could find
someone to keep an eye on the bug.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Oh yeah, you want you want to make sure you
know where it goes, because that's the worst. You see it,
like a spider or a roach or something, and then
you run and go get somebody. Come back. Crap, where
did it go? Now? It could be anywhere.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
She said that they were going to close down the
office in an effort to deal with.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
The cockro That's hilarious, guys. It is a cockroach cannot
hurt you.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
You know the funniest thinging Like Steve, you explained this
pretty well off the air earlier. The cockroach itself. Where
where does it usually exist? When it's not well?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
The entomologists at Texas A and M University told us
about this a long time ago. You find cockroaches in
the trash a lot. Sure, what are they're doing there?
You think they're nasty, they're disgusting. They're in the trash,
they're crawling around over the stuff that you ate a
half an hour ago. Right, that was your dinner earlier
in the night, and now the cockroaches are in there
(12:46):
and you think it's gross. It's just your food you
didn't finish.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
We have this hotel near my house, and during the
winter storm recently, it was the only place that had
electricity in our neighborhood back during so I remember going inside,
standing in the bar, and a cockroach crawled in, and
people were disgusted by this. How could a cockroach get
in here? Can I explain it to everybody? They It's
one of those big, fancy hotels where the front door
(13:12):
is a moving what's the word.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I'm looking for.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
It's but it's a big, giant, mechanical revolving door. Imagine
you're a cockroach outside in the cold and this door
is opening for you.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
You get a time it, then a time it just right.
I don't know. Roaches probably have that innate ability to
just like shooting that opening.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
So I'm in the bar waiting to order a sandwich
and a bourbon, and all of a sudden, this cockroach
crawls in. Every woman in the bar ran out of there,
terrified for their lives, and I wanted to explain it
to them, but then it occurred to me, if they leave,
I'm next in line.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
True, but it's also an opportunity for you to be
a hero, to all the ladies. But if they left,
they didn't see you be a hero.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah, it's also an opportunity for me to get a
sandwich and a bourbon.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
I'd go with the drink and the food. Yeah, worked
out good for me. What if you used to get
the cock broaching a headlock and then walk out the
door with it, drag it out into the street, Let
the lady see you, you know, then they all owe you. Yeah,
you want them owing you. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
You know what I feel like, We know what you mean.
Killing a cockroach probably isn't gonna get you weighed. You'd
be surprised, But I will kill the cockroach. One time
I had a cockroach crawling to my currig. I threw out,
I will admit I threw out the whole kurag and
got a new one, thank god, because I couldn't figure
out how to get it out of there. I was gonna.
I was gonna. I started taking apart the kurig, like, ah, this.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
So well, sure, Now you need a screwdriver or a
can opener. Prying plastic parts apart that shouldn't come apart.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
And the little the Chinese kids that made that thing
have tiny little hands. Oh yeah, you can't do it. Yeah,
I don't have little hands like that. I can't get
around in there. I never found the thing. I eventually
threw it out. I just went to Walmart and bought
a new one. Of course, you know now I.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Got you know, the one at Walmart didn't already have
a roach installed.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
That's the thing though, out de side, out of mind, billy. Yeah,
that's right if you don't know it.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
They are quick reminder kids, all of you.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Your summer stuff you need is available right now at
I love WJ dot com. If you don't have a
Golf of America beach towel or a Doge Father baseball cap,
Walton and Johnson flask pursued a Happiness mousepad.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I can you even enjoy a summer if you don't
have any of that?
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Look how cool these Walton and Johnson three D logo
tank tops are. That was gonna look good on your girlfriend. Man,
Golf of America halter tops. There, Golf of America skull candles.
They smell good too, my man, hot chicks wear them.
Think about that.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
They wear the candles. No the merch, but they burn
the candle. Load up on merch is what we're saying.
Go to the store. Yeah, you're gonna love it. You
know what John would say, don't forget boys and girls
to eat it every day. Hey again, you've reached the
end of the Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you.
That means you listened all the way to the end.
(15:50):
Does that mean we're going away now never to be
heard again? No, no, no, there will be a new
show tomorrow. Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or
we're off work. But as always, you could go to
Walton and Johnson dot com and you can find all
kinds of cool stuff there. Our news blog, links to
our social media accounts. Believe it or not, our personal
lives are very boring. If you comment on our social
media pages, we might reply yeah, chances are we're just
(16:12):
sitting around waiting to hear from you. Yeah, so, what's
the big deal. Go to Walton Johnson dot com today.
I'm told there's a store. Oh yes, we do have
a lovely store and you could buy things there. Walton
Johnson dot com. What's not to love
There's everybody else here in the same thing. I'm here.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm just listening to the Chris Stapleton. Why what are
you listening to?
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I like the music. I thought I heard something.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I don't know what you're talking about. We were gonna
do an addition that kicked off a plane. There's a
very bizarre video that went viral featuring two women standing
at the gate of an airplane commercial jet, and apparently
the steward is.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Excuse me, light attendance. My god, I'm sorry. You're lucky
you're not in jail. I just did a misogyny. I
apologize anyway.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
The flight attendant won't let the woman board the plane
because she is an emotional support kangaroo.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
The problem is, apparently it's not real.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
It's from some comedy bit in Europe and some country
that speaks a language we don't understand.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
So but kangaroo was kind of fun looking, huh. It
did look cool. I wouldn't mind walking around with kangaroo.
Just make people come up to you and go, hey,
what are you doing with a kangaroo? And then you
can just make stuff up.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
And then they put one of those this helper dog
vests on it. What are those called?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Well, now that I said helper dog, that's all I
could think of. I don't know what it's called.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yeah, anyway, kangaroo an emotional support advice to Anyway, it's
not a real video, unfortunately, I wish it was.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
But anyway, it's not. We got an email from old
Tom here, and we did encourage you to email us.
Thomps says, well, that New Orleans prison thing. I think
the cops are dealing with these escape convicts all wrong.
There's now way more people who aided and abetted the
escape than the actual number of escapees. Huh. Rather than
(01:33):
trying to find these escape convicts, they should just declare
the entire city of New Orleans as a progressive open
air prison. Wow. That way, all these crooked, corrupt people
wouldn't need to be sent to prison for helping the
people escape. They'd already be in prison. So I don't
(01:55):
think it's going to really change that much. But you know,
that's what progressiveness is all about. Yeah, I gotta imagine
you're probably right about that. Progress isn't very progressive, is it. No,
not a lot of progress there, unfortunately, all right, riding
on the prison of New Orleans. That could be a
new song.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
We sent a guy out on the street to ask
senior citizens what advice they'd give to the younger generation,
and I thought this was pretty good.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
What is you advice to the younger generation? I would say,
stop being a bunch of pussies. I think he's right. Well,
that's a good start. Hey, this old guy raises a
good point here. You know, I had everybody and old
guys talking.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Did you guys know one third of the world's millionaires
and billionaires live in America?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I did not. That's pretty cool, right, I guess, yeah,
not bad. I'm a new of them now I'm white.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
There's a few that's that's that privileged again. There's a
billionaire in Saint Louis who's a black guy. I don't
remember his name, but he's definitely black, right, yeah, I
double checked, Coach, couldn't believe it or what. Well, they
had a list of all the black eyes on Forbes.
Excuse me, all the billionaires in each state on Forbes,
and I was wondering if any of them were black.
And I scanned around and I found out there was
one in Saint Louis. Oh well, okay, yeah, And you
(03:10):
know that made me feel good about it by myself.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
As long as you're feeling good, canny, Even if you
have to make yourself feel good, it's important.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Anthony Bourdaine has been dead for a few years now, right,
did you know that now feminists are coming after him.
They're saying that he ruined the way men eat. Okay,
listen to this woman at the Free Press describe the.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Problem Anthony Bourdain broke, how a generation of men eat.
The cult of personality he left in his wake is
frankly insufferable. A lot of what we're seeing in food culture,
chef culture today has its roots in the type of
eating and journalism Anthony Bourdain did. Bourdines treated ordering soup
like a search and rescue mission, And now every man
thinks they have to splunk into some cave in order
(03:53):
to get a bull of fu, and unless they do,
they're not really having dinner.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Do you know any guy that does that?
Speaker 3 (03:59):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Mean either? Who is she talking to? Just a full
of nonsens saying she I have a theory about her
because I was watching this video earlier. You know anything
about her before that video?
Speaker 4 (04:09):
No?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
No, No, never met a woman.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
This woman's a journalist and a blogger and a podcaster
at the Free pat Press the FP dot com. It's
a thing the liberals look at. And she's saying all
the men in her life need to go out of
their way to get a bowl of soup, to the
point where it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Here's what I think is happening.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, I think she's on a date with a man, right,
And she starts talking like that, right, And then he
looks around and he says, you know what just occurred
to me. I can't have this bull of spaghetti at
Olive Garden. I gotta get an authentic bowl from some
backwoods Italian restaurant in an obscure part of the Louisiana
Cajun jungle. I would love to finish the date, but
(04:46):
gotta go. And then he walks out of and then
she's like, I blame Anthony Boort for this. It's not
that I'm insufferable, it's Anthony Bourtein's fault.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
All these men I me want to leave and go find.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
A more complicated me than the one that's right in
front of him.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Well, they'll just find anything, anything at all, to turn
themselves into a victim. Like that's what you're mad about.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
You're mad that some guy watched a TV show about
food and now he wants to find obscure hole in
the wall restaurants. They're not all doing that anyway. We've
given her more than enough attention. I think is full
of silliness today. All right, this is great. This is
my favorite headline today. And I'm not even gonna read
the story. I'm just gonna read the headline. People are
shocked by an X rated new play that features a
(05:31):
female Dwarf Nazi and explicit sex.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Acts female Dwarf Nazi. That one in her inglorious bastards. No, no,
they was Jason nazis there? No, this is a totally
different thing. Bid. I think that gal that was working
with him though, I think she's full grown tall hmm. Yeah. Anyway,
there's a movie, either a play or something. I don't know.
I'm not going to read the article to you, but
(05:55):
it's a story. Does anyone care? You're not gonna go
watch it?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah, no, just enough to be aware of something that
you should stay away from.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
There's a Dwarf Nazi robot sex play you can go
see if you're in the Netherlands or something.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I don't know. I'm not gonna go there, but oh god,
I started watching a show recently set in Denmark, Copenhagen, Denmark.
Why'd you do that? I you know, it was recommended,
and I don't think i'd like living there, just I mean,
it's all filmed there and everything, but it's in English.
You can see it's overdubbed because their lips don't match
(06:28):
the words because they're speaking into Herbert dub or Huber
Herbert kind of thuff like that. But it doesn't. It
just doesn't look like a cozy place to live. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
President Donald Trump has been thanked by baton rouge rapper
NBA Young Boy for pardoning him. Trump issued a series
of pardons yesterday, awarding them to a former New York congressman,
a Connecticut governor, a rapper known as NBA Young Boy,
a labor union leader, and a one time army officer
who flaunted safety measures during the coronavirus pandemic.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Oh no, he risked our lives. That's a that's a
shame anyway.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Shout outs to NBA Young Boy. Now he's a maga
guy boy. The rappers love Trump. Well, how are you
gonna like the other side they want to take your
money and your guns away. We have Trump wants to
give you money and guns. Whose side are you on, NBA,
young boy?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah? Yeah? What's The second example was a sign which read,
and I quote, I love Vagina Nom Nom nom noam
urquet was named Vagina. Oh what now, Walton and Johnson
Radio Network.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Well, there were some people that were flying Southwest to
avoid the baggage fees and that's done now of yesterday.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah, now they're charging at Southwest. That's for checked bags.
So I suspect there will be a PLETHEBA of people
trying to board the plane with carry ons that probably
won't even fit.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
I now we're gonna regret doing this. In fact, I
already wish I hadn't done the show. Well, I mean,
obviously are just in general our entire career. Yeah, but no, No,
we have a guy down at the airport right now
where a frequent flyer is something to say to everyone
at Terminal one.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Oh good, because I'm not going down there.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
All right, Hang on, brothers and sisters, Today we gather
to more in the passing of bags flying free on
Southwest airlines. We remember the heady days of yesteryear when
one could cram their entire apartment into two suitcases for
a three day weekend at their ants.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
In Minneapolis for no charge.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Sure, one of those bags would end up in Newark,
but it was still free. Like those bags of peanuts
they generously hand out before switching to pretzels due to
the Great allergy outbreak of two thousand and three. We'll
remember you Southwest as we layer up like that kid
in a Christmas story to avoid excess baggage, beas and
stuff our earthly belongings into a backpack and ran it
(09:00):
under the seat on Spirit Airlines because we're cheap and
we like being treated poorly. Uh huh, So Southwest Airlines,
we say, unto the rip, two bags flying for free.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Women delightfully mysterious or backcrap crazy? Yeah, I think you'd
only answer the rat.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It is a woman saying ridiculous things your part, and
it is brought to you by I am.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
So happy that we mentioned this, because it is brought
to you by get the tea, the cleansing tea. It'll
it's definitely good for you. It's life changing. And then
the other supplements that they have as well are all
very good, healthy natural products, but I don't want to
pay full price for it. Luckily, just for people like you,
we have installed a special promo code that will give
(09:48):
you a discount free delivery. Secret code is w j wow.
Little letters in the proper order type into the ode
space will save you money. I get the tea dot Com.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Will that make me more attractive to the opposite sex?
All those promo the supplements making me healthier?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
It's supplements. It's not magic. Oh that's cold blooded, mister Kevin.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Hey, I have definitive proof that there is a difference
between men and women, or at least nine out of ten.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
So do I? I think I have the same proof you. No, no, no,
I believe me. I've seen that.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah, okay, no no. This is the existence of bugs.
This is what this is about.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I a bugs, like like crawley insects stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I don't want bugs in my house. That's why I
like DA exterminating. But for the record, you know, cockroaches
they're not poisonous. They can't kill you, they don't attack,
they don't bite.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
But they might make me kill myself if one gets
on me.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
There's this woman sending me text messages right now about
how her entire office today was disrupted because of the
presence of a cockroach.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
She needs you to rush on over there and take
care of it for well.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
She was texting me, she said, what do you guys do?
Would you recommen? She was asking us to recommend an exterminator.
Apparently there was a single cockroach in an office filled
with women.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Oh boy, and I came to work. I'm just going
to read it to you.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Came to work and immediately had the biggest confrontation of
my life. There was a bug on my desk and
in an office full of women.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Women.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
It took us almost an hour, more than forty five
minutes to get the problem fixed.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Your lord, I said, what is that? Why? She said,
is my biggest phobia. I guess none of them wanted
to use their shoes. You know, women are pretty touchy
about there. She use, You know, man, just walk over,
pick an shoe up, slap it down on a dip.
Problems solve. I pick it up with my bare hands.
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
She said that she saw the bug near her desk
and she started dry heaving. She said, Chelsea, her manager
was nowhere to be found. The other three women in
the office stood by the desk until they could find
someone to keep an eye on the bug.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Oh yeah, you want you want to make sure you
know where it goes, because that's the worst. You see it,
like a spider or a roach or something, and then
you run and go get somebody. Come back. Crap, where
did it go? Now? It could be anywhere.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
She said that they were going to close down the
office in an effort to deal with.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
The cockro That's hilarious, guys. It is a cockroach cannot
hurt you.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
You know the funniest thinging Like Steve, you explained this
pretty well off the air earlier. The cockroach itself. Where
where does it usually exist? When it's not well?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
The entomologists at Texas A and M University told us
about this a long time ago. You find cockroaches in
the trash a lot. Sure, what are they're doing there?
You think they're nasty, they're disgusting. They're in the trash,
they're crawling around over the stuff that you ate a
half an hour ago. Right, that was your dinner earlier
in the night, and now the cockroaches are in there
(12:46):
and you think it's gross. It's just your food you
didn't finish.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
We have this hotel near my house, and during the
winter storm recently, it was the only place that had
electricity in our neighborhood back during so I remember going inside,
standing in the bar, and a cockroach crawled in, and
people were disgusted by this. How could a cockroach get
in here? Can I explain it to everybody? They It's
one of those big, fancy hotels where the front door
(13:12):
is a moving what's the word.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I'm looking for.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
It's but it's a big, giant, mechanical revolving door. Imagine
you're a cockroach outside in the cold and this door
is opening for you.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
You get a time it, then a time it just right.
I don't know. Roaches probably have that innate ability to
just like shooting that opening.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
So I'm in the bar waiting to order a sandwich
and a bourbon, and all of a sudden, this cockroach
crawls in. Every woman in the bar ran out of there,
terrified for their lives, and I wanted to explain it
to them, but then it occurred to me, if they leave,
I'm next in line.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
True, but it's also an opportunity for you to be
a hero, to all the ladies. But if they left,
they didn't see you be a hero.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah, it's also an opportunity for me to get a
sandwich and a bourbon.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
I'd go with the drink and the food. Yeah, worked
out good for me. What if you used to get
the cock broaching a headlock and then walk out the
door with it, drag it out into the street, Let
the lady see you, you know, then they all owe you. Yeah,
you want them owing you. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
You know what I feel like, We know what you mean.
Killing a cockroach probably isn't gonna get you weighed. You'd
be surprised, But I will kill the cockroach. One time
I had a cockroach crawling to my currig. I threw out,
I will admit I threw out the whole kurag and
got a new one, thank god, because I couldn't figure
out how to get it out of there. I was gonna.
I was gonna. I started taking apart the kurig, like, ah, this.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
So well, sure, Now you need a screwdriver or a
can opener. Prying plastic parts apart that shouldn't come apart.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
And the little the Chinese kids that made that thing
have tiny little hands. Oh yeah, you can't do it. Yeah,
I don't have little hands like that. I can't get
around in there. I never found the thing. I eventually
threw it out. I just went to Walmart and bought
a new one. Of course, you know now I.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Got you know, the one at Walmart didn't already have
a roach installed.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
That's the thing though, out de side, out of mind, billy. Yeah,
that's right if you don't know it.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
They are quick reminder kids, all of you.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Your summer stuff you need is available right now at
I love WJ dot com. If you don't have a
Golf of America beach towel or a Doge Father baseball cap,
Walton and Johnson flask pursued a Happiness mousepad.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I can you even enjoy a summer if you don't
have any of that?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Look how cool these Walton and Johnson three D logo
tank tops are. That was gonna look good on your girlfriend. Man,
Golf of America halter tops. There, Golf of America skull candles.
They smell good too, my man, hot chicks wear them.
Think about that.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
They wear the candles. No the merch, but they burn
the candle. Load up on merch is what we're saying.
Go to the store. Yeah, you're gonna love it. You
know what John would say, don't forget boys and girls
to eat it every day. Hey again, you've reached the
end of the Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you.
That means you listened all the way to the end.
(15:50):
Does that mean we're going away now never to be
heard again? No, no, no, there will be a new
show tomorrow. Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or
we're off work. But as always, you could go to
Walton and Johnson dot com and you can find all
kinds of cool stuff there. Our news blog, links to
our social media accounts. Believe it or not, our personal
lives are very boring. If you comment on our social
media pages, we might reply yeah, chances are we're just
(16:12):
sitting around waiting to hear from you. Yeah, so, what's
the big deal. Go to Walton Johnson dot com today.
I'm told there's a store. Oh yes, we do have
a lovely store and you could buy things there. Walton
Johnson dot com. What's not to love
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