Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
What were you gonna say?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Mister you certainly seem very uncomfortable and embarrassed. Rarely do
microphone You didn't know we were going to do a show.
That's why the music gets played.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Yeah, big, big shock. Your there new study out does
all shock you? Smartphones are ruining our brains? Duh? Yeah?
How many? How many things can you remember? Now?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
What?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Almost? Nothing? Right? Wait? Why did you ask me? You?
You have to write it down. You have to make
a note, you have to secure you don't know anybody's
phone number. Now, if they arrested you and you don't
have your phone on you or dead or whatever, you're screwed.
And they said you get one phone call, who are
you gonna call? What information? I'm not gonna call anybody, know?
(00:48):
Could you call anybody at at this radio station?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I know two people's phone numbers, and they and neither
of them live in the state where I live.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
They're my family at the other end of the country.
And it'll be very helpful, is it? Sure? Is not?
Some people can't remember their own phone number because they
hardly ever dial it themselves. Technology is clearly making things worse. Also,
a new study, and I think this goes a little
further back than just smartphones. The new study has found
that human connection to nature has declined sixty percent in
(01:23):
the last two hundred years or so. They went an
odd like our connection to nature, we were not in
tune with. You know, your great grandfather consider on the
porch and you go, oh, hear those crickets or here
those frogs. Well, you know what that means, three to
five inches of rain before sun up. You know they
(01:45):
were actually right back then, and now we don't know
how to do that.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Well, there is somebody in our society, one group of
people that are still connected to nature, and their mirror existence,
combined with the information you just shared with us, once
again proves a point that we've made over and over again.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Why feminism is a joke. I missed it. Okay, I'm
sure you'd agree with this. Billy ed connect more dots.
I'm not seeing the picture here.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Happy to do it. Feminists love to brag about how
I'm a girl boss. I don't need more man, We're
graduating from college at a higher rate, we own more
houses now, we're making more money.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, but if society.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Crumbled tomorrow, what would happen to you? You know, what
I mean, like, Okay, you're good at accounting. Great, AI
will replace that pretty soon. Yeah, what else do you do?
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Well, I'm a social media influencerre with half a million
stop right there. Instagram just went offline along with every
other social platform. Now, in order to survive, you're talking
pulse here, we're talking, you know, electromagnetic pulse. Boom boom.
Now what are you gonna do? You're gonna need a man.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
There are definitely men out there that would probably be
more equipped to prepare with the elements than me, mister
city boy. But I got to tell you, I think
I outsurvive every feminist. There's no question about that. I
can live heavyweight. I'm very comfortable eating garbage. I'll be fine.
I'll live for a while in the apocalypse. What about you,
miss girl boss, miss half a million followers on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Suddenly she's gonna be showing a lot of cleavage. Now,
welton to know who's gonna come over and help her
with this?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Well, you know, that's a great segue into the next
topic I wanted to share with you guys. As you know, technology,
it's made our lives better, but in some ways it's
also making them worse. Y'all got those speed cameras where
you live.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Oh, those red light cameras and stuff. Man, I don't
like that.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Mean neither drivers have been warned to new AI powered
speed cameras will be able to catch them using mobile
phones while driving or even not wearing seatbelts. Yeah, it's
about more than just speeding guys. Unlike traditional speed cameras
that only monitor speed, the new cameras are smart devices
that aim to crack down on distractions from behind the wheel.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
So they'll be able to see when I'm hanging double
birds at them while I drive by like that. They'll
be able to see when someone not that's gonna be
a fine not us, but someone's drinking a beer or
smoking a spliff. I mean, we would never do that.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Hot drivers caught by these new cameras will face huge fines,
hundreds of dollars. They're even gonna have penalty points, and
if you're taking to court, the cost could rise significantly.
The penalty points, By the way, I should point out,
this report came to us from England, Greater Manchester, Durham, Sussex.
The penalty point things. This thing they're doing there, but
It kind of reminds me of the social credit score
(04:25):
system in China. The fact that there are Western countries
similar to US adopting this idea really scares this not
out of me.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
You know what's coming here, you know it starts there,
comes here, just like the Beatles Rolling Stones. I don't
like it. I don't like it. Quick a pop quiz
for you guys. So and it's multiple choice that don't
pan it. Sure, a virus that could become the next
pandemic is rapidly spreading in a China, B China or
(04:56):
C China. Ooh sugar sugar Land, Texas. No close, but
a different Asian market.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Oh so, apparently China is starting another page. Are they
the ones that spread the venarial disease around Mississippi?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
They're the ones.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
The gonerhea epidemic in the Greater Hattiesburg area is very
concerning to me.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Only plays wors is next. No Louisiana. Louisiana number one,
I guess Mississippien number two or three of some I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Louisiana's got a cat a lot of Catholics. They're not
gonna get goner YEA, yeah, that's sure. Let's let's say
that's it all. Right, back to Chi Chi Chi China.
What's going on over there?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Exactly? That's it. That's just another virus and other disease.
Were about every other week they're coming out with some
kind of Oh, looks like a new pandemic coming our way.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
There's a new trend in dining, tiny meals. It's for
people on the ozembic or on the fat shot. Apparently,
now New York restaurants are offering teeny winny mini meals
because those big, gargantuan portions are too much food for people.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Yeah, I mean you can one meal and split it,
or everybody get an entree and then take half of
it home and eat it tomorrow. I don't have a
problem with this at all.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Look, they have a photo of one of the restaurants
of food portions on the internet. Here, look how little
the cheeseburger is compared to what their normal cheeseburger's like.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Okay, well, now that just looks like one slider is
one slighter enough.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Well, if you're on a zempeg, sure, I guess. I
actually don't think it's a bad idea. Americans eat too
much food. I find I have this problem now because
I and I'm trying to bulk up lately.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Have you noticed that you see these guys, everybody's noticed.
Everybody's talking about it. Yeah, that's the talk of the town.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
But I'll order fast food and I get halfway through
the burger and I think now that I'm not fat anymore.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
It's just too much food for me. You know, at
the end of your stand up comedy routine, have you
ever considered ripping your shirt off, kind of like Hull
Cogan and just grabbing a couple of most muscular poses
before you exit the stage. I mean, leave them with something.
Let the ladies take a fantasy home with them tonight.
(07:00):
You you didn't know this? Oh no, oh no, please don't.
It's happened more than once. More than once. I'm just
way way kidding. More than one sound.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
At a couple's therapy comedy show, Jesse Payton and I
have taken our shirts off at the end of the show.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
That's kind of something you should probably warn people about
ahead of time.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
It happened Saturday night. Oh no, I gotta tell you.
Give the people what they want. They cheered for it,
they demand it, they wanted it. Mister Ken let.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
The women come up and rip the shirt off of
you themselves. Well, we did it for charity. It was
for wheelchairs for warriors.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Look if looking at my rippling abs and my pectoral
muscles will help raise money for disabled.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Military veterans, Who am I to say? No? You are
such a giver.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
It's like you don't even love America if you're not
willing to strip naked in front of a bunch of
horny housewives to raise money for charity.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
You know, look, I care. Excuse me that I care? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Sorry, yeah, sorry for loving America. You know, I'm like,
I'm excuse me. You're gonna waddle off into my pity now.
I'll tell you what. I had a busy night too.
When I went back to the Motel six. It was wild,
I can imagine. Yeah, mostly just because there were cockroaches everywhere.
Oh yeah, they'll keep you up.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
We didn't have any sex or anything like that. We
were just up all night with the bug infestation.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
And you know, the worst thing is if the ice
machine doesn't work, even worse if it does and you
happen to have the room next to it. Katoom katun
katun katunk all night long. I mean, come on, how
much ice does Jesse need? Really? Come on? I don't
think that was the ice machine. The last thing I
want to be when the end of the world comes
is sober. Walton and Johnson Radio Network Radio can is
(08:34):
you rock so hard? How do you rock so hard?
Creak it up? Had ripped the knob off? All right, well,
don't throw it away though, Actually this is you may
need that knob later.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
This is not appropriate music for what I wanted to
talk about right now, because, as you know, I am
a good Catholic boy.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
When I say good, I mean adequate.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
The Vatican is facing allegations that used a skeleton key
for money laundering by illegally man it ppulating bank transfers.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I don't know what idiot means.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well, the Vatican's a city state, and the city state's
former top financial cop was forced out in twenty seventeen.
Turns out that same guy claimed that the bank roll
of the payroll agency for the Vatican was able to
alter the names in the account numbers on transactions after
they were made. They they masked the identity of the
(09:24):
recipients and the centers. In short, the Vatican is under
fire for money laundering.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Mum, that's not like a good way to go with it, though.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah, I mean, if you have to get involved in
a financial scandal, I might as well l.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Under a lot of money.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
That's weird because normally when laundry is involved its Mexicans,
not Italians or Chinese.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Good point, you know, And if you want to go
with old stereotypes, that's that's a good one. Korea Ancient
Chinese secret. That was actually a TV commercial for a
long time, and it was okay that my collar's so
clean and white, Agia Chinese secret. That's the you know,
stereotype Chinese lady. That's nothing.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Have you ever seen an old El Paso salsa commercial? No,
they used to joke about lynching people and then folks
who just eat tortilla chips like it was nothing.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
No way, anyway.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
The pretty big implication here, enormous implication because it would
have made it possible for Vatican officials to wire funds
to private clients without revealing who they are, possibly enabling
unlimited money laundering, violating the most basic wire fraud rules.
You're not supposed to do that. The claims come to
at an awkward moment, New Pope Leo the fourteenth, seeking
to boost the Catholic Church's reputation after decades.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Of rolling financial scandals. Leo's also announced that he is
a painter now and he's like some of his works
are being sold for up to half a million dollars
apiece and want to get in on some of those.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
So he made the paintings before he became famous, and
now that he's famous, people are selling the Pope's artwork.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
That does cat draw any of these, you know, because
animals will some get in a painting a time or two.
I think the most awkward part about it is they
were nude women he met in college. What's that? All
jokes aside? Did you know Pope Leo before he was
a priest and before he was the pope that he
did actually have a pension for tang? I did not
(11:16):
know that.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I feel like it's a little sacrilegious to talk about this,
but there's a woman on the internet who claims that
before Pope Leo was a priest, back when they were teenagers.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
He was just a boy. That's a young man.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
That she hooked up with him, and now she's famous
on TikTok for being the chick who banged the pope.
You think she's only one. I'm just glad it's a
woman there is that. It could have been so much worse.
You guys, at least we know the pope, probably at
least if he weren't the pope. You know, well, but
(11:48):
careful because we know he gets worked up for something
I don't know, know he can't have it. I don't
have a problem with priests. I don't have a problem
with getting rid of that rule. Let the priests have wives,
but never female priests. I would never be okay with that.
That's oh you draw the line there. No, that would
be a bad idea. You think women could keep a secret?
How would confession work? That would be the end of that.
(12:09):
You could never the whole confession thing would go right
out the time.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
I don't normally, confession's not on my mind when I'm
talking about churches and stuff. But I understand that's the
thing with y'all. It's a pretty big part of it. Yeah,
I see your point right away. Look, I don't like them.
Oh honey, wait till I tell you what I heard
last night. Oh you know they gonna be all over that.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, father, I have a confession to make mother I priestess.
I haven't justess. I haven't confessed in sixty days. I've
done something horrible behind my wife's back. Do you tell no,
you can't go to get.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Your wife on speed dial it or listen to your
confession live.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Massachusetts has been named the best place to have a baby,
according to a new report. Probably the worst place to
have a baby would be the bathroom at a Burger
King or Taco Bill.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah. Well, I know you went to three different Taco
bell this weekend. Pro I had a Did you see
a baby? No in any of the bathrooms.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
You're gonna you're gonna hate me when I tell you this,
But I hate myself too for doing it. We door
dashed the Taco Bell. Yeah, we had it all because
we were busy. We were we were working hard, getting
set out late, you know. Yeah, we were at the hotel,
we were stoned whatever, and so we're eating Taco bell
for the third time, and I have learned it does
not mix.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Well with a diet Mountain energy drink. Oh god, no,
oh man.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
When I got back to Houston, I was like, I
don't know what's happening in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
But it's not gonna be pretty. Before we leave, we
must congratulate Petunia on her big victory over the weekend
whodat Friday. As I'm sure you know, they held the
World's Ugliest Dog contest at the Sonoma County Fair in
Santa Rosa, California. Okay, and Petunia, I don't know how
(13:53):
old she is. Petunia is a very healthy and grown
French bulldog and has been named the world's Ugliest Dog now,
so good for her. She won five thousand dollars, which
most of that will go to treats and a couple
of you know, the fluffy stuffed toys which she can
(14:15):
rip the stuffing out of for hours on end. Would
you agree that the ugly dogs are always adorable? Well,
that's part of their charm. Sure. Look, here's a little Petunia. No,
Patunia looks like a French bulldog kind of mixed with
a Sharpei if you know what that is. They're they're
extremely wrinkly, and I don't, well, I mean, you have
(14:35):
a French bulldog, He's not that wrinkly. This dog looks
like it doesn't have any fur. It just looks like brown.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Show me one more time, please, can I get look
at It's not that ugly the uglier dogs on the contest, though.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Have you ever seen some of the uglier dogs in
the past. The hairless ones are usually the ones that
win ugly. The ugly dogs in the past have been
infinitely uglier. My favorite is they always there. It's always
like a between a Chinese water crested and a chihuahua.
They always have something going on with the teeth, this
dead blank stare, the eyes rolling back into their head.
(15:08):
They don't look healthy. And the hair it looks like
a badly burned child's doll.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Or like he plays drums in a punk band or something.
Elwood was the World's Ugliest Dog several years ago. He
was famous for being a like a mutated chihuahua with
a tongue hanging out the side of his house in
his mouth. I mean a lot of them are oblong
like asymmetrical dogs.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Look at that one with the bug eye and the
crazy teeth.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
But you know what, even though these dogs are supposed
to be ugly, I love every one of them. Have
you ever seen a three legged dog that you didn't love?
Tripods got it?
Speaker 1 (15:43):
I love it. That's a winning feature. Right there.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
When I see a three legged dog, there's just something
in me that the instinct wants to go get food
and take care of it, bring it water, and it
doesn't need anything.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
The dog's fine. I just feel like I need to
help it. I wonder now if we might not be
assistant of the places like you know, caps and canine
Angels and uh the s p c A whoever's got
dogs up for adoption. If y'all just to whack one
of their legs off, I think they'd go quicker. Wow.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah, well, come on, wink about It's all I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Maybe you do a little test run.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
When lightning strikes, you got to catch it in a bottle, right, John,
don't forget boys and girls too every day
What were you gonna say?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Mister you certainly seem very uncomfortable and embarrassed. Rarely do
microphone You didn't know we were going to do a show.
That's why the music gets played.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Yeah, big, big shock. Your there new study out does
all shock you? Smartphones are ruining our brains? Duh? Yeah?
How many? How many things can you remember? Now?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
What?
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Almost? Nothing? Right? Wait? Why did you ask me? You?
You have to write it down. You have to make
a note, you have to secure you don't know anybody's
phone number. Now, if they arrested you and you don't
have your phone on you or dead or whatever, you're screwed.
And they said you get one phone call, who are
you gonna call? What information? I'm not gonna call anybody, know?
(00:48):
Could you call anybody at at this radio station?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I know two people's phone numbers, and they and neither
of them live in the state where I live.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
They're my family at the other end of the country.
And it'll be very helpful, is it? Sure? Is not?
Some people can't remember their own phone number because they
hardly ever dial it themselves. Technology is clearly making things worse. Also,
a new study, and I think this goes a little
further back than just smartphones. The new study has found
that human connection to nature has declined sixty percent in
(01:23):
the last two hundred years or so. They went an
odd like our connection to nature, we were not in
tune with. You know, your great grandfather consider on the
porch and you go, oh, hear those crickets or here
those frogs. Well, you know what that means, three to
five inches of rain before sun up. You know they
(01:45):
were actually right back then, and now we don't know
how to do that.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Well, there is somebody in our society, one group of
people that are still connected to nature, and their mirror existence,
combined with the information you just shared with us, once
again proves a point that we've made over and over again.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Why feminism is a joke. I missed it. Okay, I'm
sure you'd agree with this. Billy ed connect more dots.
I'm not seeing the picture here.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Happy to do it. Feminists love to brag about how
I'm a girl boss. I don't need more man, We're
graduating from college at a higher rate, we own more
houses now, we're making more money.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, but if society.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Crumbled tomorrow, what would happen to you? You know, what
I mean, like, Okay, you're good at accounting. Great, AI
will replace that pretty soon. Yeah, what else do you do?
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Well, I'm a social media influencerre with half a million
stop right there. Instagram just went offline along with every
other social platform. Now, in order to survive, you're talking
pulse here, we're talking, you know, electromagnetic pulse. Boom boom.
Now what are you gonna do? You're gonna need a man.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
There are definitely men out there that would probably be
more equipped to prepare with the elements than me, mister
city boy. But I got to tell you, I think
I outsurvive every feminist. There's no question about that. I
can live heavyweight. I'm very comfortable eating garbage. I'll be fine.
I'll live for a while in the apocalypse. What about you,
miss girl boss, miss half a million followers on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Suddenly she's gonna be showing a lot of cleavage. Now,
welton to know who's gonna come over and help her
with this?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Well, you know, that's a great segue into the next
topic I wanted to share with you guys. As you know, technology,
it's made our lives better, but in some ways it's
also making them worse. Y'all got those speed cameras where
you live.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Oh, those red light cameras and stuff. Man, I don't
like that.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Mean neither drivers have been warned to new AI powered
speed cameras will be able to catch them using mobile
phones while driving or even not wearing seatbelts. Yeah, it's
about more than just speeding guys. Unlike traditional speed cameras
that only monitor speed, the new cameras are smart devices
that aim to crack down on distractions from behind the wheel.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
So they'll be able to see when I'm hanging double
birds at them while I drive by like that. They'll
be able to see when someone not that's gonna be
a fine not us, but someone's drinking a beer or
smoking a spliff. I mean, we would never do that.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Hot drivers caught by these new cameras will face huge fines,
hundreds of dollars. They're even gonna have penalty points, and
if you're taking to court, the cost could rise significantly.
The penalty points, By the way, I should point out,
this report came to us from England, Greater Manchester, Durham, Sussex.
The penalty point things. This thing they're doing there, but
It kind of reminds me of the social credit score
(04:25):
system in China. The fact that there are Western countries
similar to US adopting this idea really scares this not
out of me.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
You know what's coming here, you know it starts there,
comes here, just like the Beatles Rolling Stones. I don't
like it. I don't like it. Quick a pop quiz
for you guys. So and it's multiple choice that don't
pan it. Sure, a virus that could become the next
pandemic is rapidly spreading in a China, B China or
(04:56):
C China. Ooh sugar sugar Land, Texas. No close, but
a different Asian market.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Oh so, apparently China is starting another page. Are they
the ones that spread the venarial disease around Mississippi?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
They're the ones.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
The gonerhea epidemic in the Greater Hattiesburg area is very
concerning to me.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Only plays wors is next. No Louisiana. Louisiana number one,
I guess Mississippien number two or three of some I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Louisiana's got a cat a lot of Catholics. They're not
gonna get goner YEA, yeah, that's sure. Let's let's say
that's it all. Right, back to Chi Chi Chi China.
What's going on over there?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Exactly? That's it. That's just another virus and other disease.
Were about every other week they're coming out with some
kind of Oh, looks like a new pandemic coming our way.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
There's a new trend in dining, tiny meals. It's for
people on the ozembic or on the fat shot. Apparently,
now New York restaurants are offering teeny winny mini meals
because those big, gargantuan portions are too much food for people.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Yeah, I mean you can one meal and split it,
or everybody get an entree and then take half of
it home and eat it tomorrow. I don't have a
problem with this at all.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Look, they have a photo of one of the restaurants
of food portions on the internet. Here, look how little
the cheeseburger is compared to what their normal cheeseburger's like.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Okay, well, now that just looks like one slider is
one slighter enough.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Well, if you're on a zempeg, sure, I guess. I
actually don't think it's a bad idea. Americans eat too
much food. I find I have this problem now because
I and I'm trying to bulk up lately.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Have you noticed that you see these guys, everybody's noticed.
Everybody's talking about it. Yeah, that's the talk of the town.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
But I'll order fast food and I get halfway through
the burger and I think now that I'm not fat anymore.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
It's just too much food for me. You know, at
the end of your stand up comedy routine, have you
ever considered ripping your shirt off, kind of like Hull
Cogan and just grabbing a couple of most muscular poses
before you exit the stage. I mean, leave them with something.
Let the ladies take a fantasy home with them tonight.
(07:00):
You you didn't know this? Oh no, oh no, please don't.
It's happened more than once. More than once. I'm just
way way kidding. More than one sound.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
At a couple's therapy comedy show, Jesse Payton and I
have taken our shirts off at the end of the show.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
That's kind of something you should probably warn people about
ahead of time.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
It happened Saturday night. Oh no, I gotta tell you.
Give the people what they want. They cheered for it,
they demand it, they wanted it. Mister Ken let.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
The women come up and rip the shirt off of
you themselves. Well, we did it for charity. It was
for wheelchairs for warriors.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Look if looking at my rippling abs and my pectoral
muscles will help raise money for disabled.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Military veterans, Who am I to say? No? You are
such a giver.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
It's like you don't even love America if you're not
willing to strip naked in front of a bunch of
horny housewives to raise money for charity.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
You know, look, I care. Excuse me that I care? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Sorry, yeah, sorry for loving America. You know, I'm like,
I'm excuse me. You're gonna waddle off into my pity now.
I'll tell you what. I had a busy night too.
When I went back to the Motel six. It was wild,
I can imagine. Yeah, mostly just because there were cockroaches everywhere.
Oh yeah, they'll keep you up.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
We didn't have any sex or anything like that. We
were just up all night with the bug infestation.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
And you know, the worst thing is if the ice
machine doesn't work, even worse if it does and you
happen to have the room next to it. Katoom katun
katun katunk all night long. I mean, come on, how
much ice does Jesse need? Really? Come on? I don't
think that was the ice machine. The last thing I
want to be when the end of the world comes
is sober. Walton and Johnson Radio Network Radio can is
(08:34):
you rock so hard? How do you rock so hard?
Creak it up? Had ripped the knob off? All right, well,
don't throw it away though, Actually this is you may
need that knob later.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
This is not appropriate music for what I wanted to
talk about right now, because, as you know, I am
a good Catholic boy.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
When I say good, I mean adequate.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
The Vatican is facing allegations that used a skeleton key
for money laundering by illegally man it ppulating bank transfers.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I don't know what idiot means.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well, the Vatican's a city state, and the city state's
former top financial cop was forced out in twenty seventeen.
Turns out that same guy claimed that the bank roll
of the payroll agency for the Vatican was able to
alter the names in the account numbers on transactions after
they were made. They they masked the identity of the
(09:24):
recipients and the centers. In short, the Vatican is under
fire for money laundering.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Mum, that's not like a good way to go with it, though.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah, I mean, if you have to get involved in
a financial scandal, I might as well l.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Under a lot of money.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
That's weird because normally when laundry is involved its Mexicans,
not Italians or Chinese.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Good point, you know, And if you want to go
with old stereotypes, that's that's a good one. Korea Ancient
Chinese secret. That was actually a TV commercial for a
long time, and it was okay that my collar's so
clean and white, Agia Chinese secret. That's the you know,
stereotype Chinese lady. That's nothing.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Have you ever seen an old El Paso salsa commercial? No,
they used to joke about lynching people and then folks
who just eat tortilla chips like it was nothing.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
No way, anyway.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
The pretty big implication here, enormous implication because it would
have made it possible for Vatican officials to wire funds
to private clients without revealing who they are, possibly enabling
unlimited money laundering, violating the most basic wire fraud rules.
You're not supposed to do that. The claims come to
at an awkward moment, New Pope Leo the fourteenth, seeking
to boost the Catholic Church's reputation after decades.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Of rolling financial scandals. Leo's also announced that he is
a painter now and he's like some of his works
are being sold for up to half a million dollars
apiece and want to get in on some of those.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
So he made the paintings before he became famous, and
now that he's famous, people are selling the Pope's artwork.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
That does cat draw any of these, you know, because
animals will some get in a painting a time or two.
I think the most awkward part about it is they
were nude women he met in college. What's that? All
jokes aside? Did you know Pope Leo before he was
a priest and before he was the pope that he
did actually have a pension for tang? I did not
(11:16):
know that.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
I feel like it's a little sacrilegious to talk about this,
but there's a woman on the internet who claims that
before Pope Leo was a priest, back when they were teenagers.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
He was just a boy. That's a young man.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
That she hooked up with him, and now she's famous
on TikTok for being the chick who banged the pope.
You think she's only one. I'm just glad it's a
woman there is that. It could have been so much worse.
You guys, at least we know the pope, probably at
least if he weren't the pope. You know, well, but
(11:48):
careful because we know he gets worked up for something
I don't know, know he can't have it. I don't
have a problem with priests. I don't have a problem
with getting rid of that rule. Let the priests have wives,
but never female priests. I would never be okay with that.
That's oh you draw the line there. No, that would
be a bad idea. You think women could keep a secret?
How would confession work? That would be the end of that.
(12:09):
You could never the whole confession thing would go right
out the time.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
I don't normally, confession's not on my mind when I'm
talking about churches and stuff. But I understand that's the
thing with y'all. It's a pretty big part of it. Yeah,
I see your point right away. Look, I don't like them.
Oh honey, wait till I tell you what I heard
last night. Oh you know they gonna be all over that.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, father, I have a confession to make mother I priestess.
I haven't justess. I haven't confessed in sixty days. I've
done something horrible behind my wife's back. Do you tell no,
you can't go to get.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Your wife on speed dial it or listen to your
confession live.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Massachusetts has been named the best place to have a baby,
according to a new report. Probably the worst place to
have a baby would be the bathroom at a Burger
King or Taco Bill.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah. Well, I know you went to three different Taco
bell this weekend. Pro I had a Did you see
a baby? No in any of the bathrooms.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
You're gonna you're gonna hate me when I tell you this,
But I hate myself too for doing it. We door
dashed the Taco Bell. Yeah, we had it all because
we were busy. We were we were working hard, getting
set out late, you know. Yeah, we were at the hotel,
we were stoned whatever, and so we're eating Taco bell
for the third time, and I have learned it does
not mix.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Well with a diet Mountain energy drink. Oh god, no,
oh man.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
When I got back to Houston, I was like, I
don't know what's happening in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
But it's not gonna be pretty. Before we leave, we
must congratulate Petunia on her big victory over the weekend
whodat Friday. As I'm sure you know, they held the
World's Ugliest Dog contest at the Sonoma County Fair in
Santa Rosa, California. Okay, and Petunia, I don't know how
(13:53):
old she is. Petunia is a very healthy and grown
French bulldog and has been named the world's Ugliest Dog now,
so good for her. She won five thousand dollars, which
most of that will go to treats and a couple
of you know, the fluffy stuffed toys which she can
(14:15):
rip the stuffing out of for hours on end. Would
you agree that the ugly dogs are always adorable? Well,
that's part of their charm. Sure. Look, here's a little Petunia. No,
Patunia looks like a French bulldog kind of mixed with
a Sharpei if you know what that is. They're they're
extremely wrinkly, and I don't, well, I mean, you have
(14:35):
a French bulldog, He's not that wrinkly. This dog looks
like it doesn't have any fur. It just looks like brown.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Show me one more time, please, can I get look
at It's not that ugly the uglier dogs on the contest, though.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Have you ever seen some of the uglier dogs in
the past. The hairless ones are usually the ones that
win ugly. The ugly dogs in the past have been
infinitely uglier. My favorite is they always there. It's always
like a between a Chinese water crested and a chihuahua.
They always have something going on with the teeth, this
dead blank stare, the eyes rolling back into their head.
(15:08):
They don't look healthy. And the hair it looks like
a badly burned child's doll.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Or like he plays drums in a punk band or something.
Elwood was the World's Ugliest Dog several years ago. He
was famous for being a like a mutated chihuahua with
a tongue hanging out the side of his house in
his mouth. I mean a lot of them are oblong
like asymmetrical dogs.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Look at that one with the bug eye and the
crazy teeth.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
But you know what, even though these dogs are supposed
to be ugly, I love every one of them. Have
you ever seen a three legged dog that you didn't love?
Tripods got it?
Speaker 1 (15:43):
I love it. That's a winning feature. Right there.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
When I see a three legged dog, there's just something
in me that the instinct wants to go get food
and take care of it, bring it water, and it
doesn't need anything.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
The dog's fine. I just feel like I need to
help it. I wonder now if we might not be
assistant of the places like you know, caps and canine
Angels and uh the s p c A whoever's got
dogs up for adoption. If y'all just to whack one
of their legs off, I think they'd go quicker. Wow.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah, well, come on, wink about It's all I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Maybe you do a little test run.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
When lightning strikes, you got to catch it in a bottle, right, John,
don't forget boys and girls too every day
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