Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're not supposed to laugh at racist memes, so don't.
Or homophobic ones. Those are even worse, that's right? Or
are they batter?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
They're not worse. There may be as bad, but they
worse than the racist stuff.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Wow. No, racism still got to take the front.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
I agree, rights don't well, I mean either, I think
it's homophobia that's bad.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Yeah, wait what you're flipping over me?
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Now?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Wait, no, it's flipping open like that.
Speaker 5 (00:24):
Hey uh.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Nancy Pelosi apparently has been drawing her eyebrows too high,
so we told her and she looked surprised. You know,
thank you what. It's a joke about eyebrows, Billy had
I let it go now eight six six, I love
w Jay.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Did you guys see the little kid running across the
lawn at the White House. I don't know if he
was trying to give Trump a hug or what. Apparently
he was skinny enough to fit through the bars, really
the fence. He wasn't supposed to be there, slipped through
some kind of a hole or a gap or just
right between the bars.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
He was a little kid. Looks like he's made. I
don't know how, you know, I don't have kids. I
don't know how to judge their age, but he looked
like he was, you know, three or four.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
They can walk by then, right, Because he was running
across the lawn, secret Service guy had come over to
scoop him up.
Speaker 5 (01:14):
I'm glad they didn't assassinate him.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Down.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
He luckily he missed some of the land mines that
are out there on the lawn. They've probably marked those now.
With Easter coming up, you know, they had that egg
thing that we roll them around on the lawn. Anyways,
got the egg thing, the egg roll at the White House.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
They every year, you must be pretty wealthy in your
family rolling eggs around on Easter.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
They're not going to be real eggs. This year, secret
Service guy scoops him up, kind of awkwardly, carrying him
kind of under his arms a little bit and getting
him back to his parents. And he was the kid
was waving as they were hauling him off. He was
waving to the White House.
Speaker 5 (01:58):
They will tell that story for the rest of their life.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
And the comments were all about the Secret Service guy
looking like he was you know, how to hold a child.
It's like he's really holding him wrong. He's carrying him
very awkwardly.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
It's like, okay, well, they don't train them for that
at the point of the story.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yeah, and he was a young guy. He might not
have ever held a child. Boy, you're not kidding. It
is awkward looking. Yeah, I just pulled it up. He's
also holding him while he has a rifle as assault
rifle around his neck, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Okay, so so in the kids in the Secret Service
agent's defense, he looks.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Like he's he might not have kids, look, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Yeah, well what else do you And he doesn't want
the kid to accidentally touch the gun.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I had him off the gun.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
That's the part of this. I think that you're right.
That's the part of this. People misunderstand. It's not that
he doesn't know how to hold a kid. It's that
he doesn't want the kid to get accidentally pulled the
trigger on his sniper rifle that he's carrying.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
You know. This does bring up another interesting point we
haven't talked about in a while.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Cherry blossom trees.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
It's really easy to snee into the White House, at
least that's what news stories in the past have suggested. Okay,
there are all these different incidents of people running out
onto the lawn, or people pretending to be visitors of
the White House and just showing up in a tuxedo
in a ball gown the night that there's a cocktail.
Oh yeah, come on in, you're supposed to be here.
I know it sounds crazy, but there's a lot of
(03:20):
these news stories and I would never do it. It
takes a lot plus you know, what would be the point.
But but you know, it's happened many times in the past.
Someone just shows up at the White House and sneaks in.
They're in there, like a famous couple that shows up
at events they're not supposed to be at and they
get in. Someone made a documentary about them once, right,
I mean, they're not famous, they're famous for doing this.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
They've been in the White House, they've been on the.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Red carpet of the Oscars, they've been to the NATO summits, and.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
They just show up and everybody assumes they're somebody else's guest.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
If you just show up in a tuxedo and.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
A ball gown, you mean like waiting crashers, Right, yeah, yeah,
I got a gala coming up.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I gotta tell you, I was really sad yesterday about
getting dumped, and now I just realized it saved me
five hundred bucks.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
How you figure?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Well, I was supposed to buy the Hispanic Arts Council.
My neighbor's on the board or whatever, and they're doing
a gala and he, you know, he hit me hit Dala, Gala, Gala, Gala, Gala.
I think he's right. It does sound like gala from
what I would be knowing your neighbors the way I do, probably, so, yeah,
these are the Gabors.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
They're nice people.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
And so they asked me if I would go, and
I told him I would, and then they said you
don't have to donate, and I said no, no, I'll donate.
And then yesterday he tells me, he's like, well, it's
five hundred bucks a chair. I was like, oh, well,
that girl, I was sort of dating charity.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
You get to write that off. You get with wheelchairs
for warriors, and I.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
Like writing stuff off.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Don't get me wrong, but I will tell you knowing
that it is going to cost me five hundred instead
of a thousand. Now nice, I feel pretty good about that.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Unless you end up with somebody else by then I
gotta tell you that doesn't seem like it's gonna be
a problem for me.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
No, that's what I'm gonna do until the end of
the month. I'm just not going to date anybody. And
then I won't and then I won't have to pay
for another chair.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
That's my secret. Now, when Gayla season comes around, I
get dumped.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
I notice she didn't dump you before Valentine's Day, though,
did she?
Speaker 5 (05:12):
No, that's when we started dating.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Oh, that might have been your first mistake.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
See, that's always been my problem. I'm too generous. I'm
a nice guy. I don't really have anything to spend
money on. I'm kind of a blue jeans and T
shirt kind of guy, an.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Easy touch, right, Yeah, she put the touch on you.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
But then yesterday, because it was the voodoo.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
That that really messes you up.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
But then yes yesterday, my buddy Jesse Peyton reminded me
that I'm a middle aged man with a small penis,
and he planted this idea in my head. I should
buy a Corvette. Oh lord, so I think I'm gonna
do that? Is it that middle aged time already? It is?
Speaker 5 (05:46):
Yeah, I think I'm gonna buy a Corvette.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
But speaking to Jesse, Peyton me, him and Chad Prather
are going to be and I why do.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
You have to make everything gay?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Jesse Chad and I me Chad?
Speaker 5 (05:59):
No, it beats Chad. Jesse and I are gonna.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Like some caveman over here beating your chest now because
I don't use proper grammar.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
Make you more of a man, doesn't make me more man?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
We have a comedy show coming up Friday, April eighteenth
in New Orleans at Southport Hall. Tickets are on sale.
There's a link on my ex account Kenneth our Webster
on x but you could also just go to the
website for Southport Hall. Friday, April eighteenth, we're going to
be in New Orleans doing the right side of comedy.
It's right wing, it's it'll be dirty, but it's like
right leaning comedy.
Speaker 5 (06:32):
And then the following night we're in Hattiesburg, but I
don't know what the venue is.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Okay anyway, and everyone's invited, even Democrats.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Get out here.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
What about Episcopalians, Nah, certainly not the Methodist Well, I
mean that goes with that saying.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
We wouldn't want to ruin the party anyway, So come
check that out.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
That's going to be a blast in the meantime. Today's
a pretty big day in the world of sports. I
don't know if you're intentionally ignoring it or if you're
waiting to, you know, for a certain time. This morning
before we you know, set off the fireworks and dropped
the balloons and confetti everywhere.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
But we had a meeting earlier before you got here.
We're not gonna do sports anymore.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Yeah, I mean that. I thought we put a memo.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
We decided to cut out sports and celebrity birthdays from
the show. We decided those were the most unpopular parts there.
Hang on, I don't think I saw that up.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
It's open and day who Opening Day. Everybody got real
excited about it. It's baseball.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
It is opening day. But enough about Stormy Daniels. What's
going on in sports.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
America's favorite pastime and baseball and baseball us today?
Speaker 5 (07:35):
All right?
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
And I don't know about everybody's favorite team, but the
local folks here, you know, in Houston anyway, we generally
followed the strolls.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I know, Dallas got the team.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
You know Atlanta's got and you know, you might live
in Atlanta and follow the Cubs or something.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I don't know, a.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Lot of people in rural Louisiana are Cubs fans because WGN.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
A lot of people in Houston are, well, they're Astro fans,
but they like to go to the games when they're
in Chicago, even though it's very deadly. If you know
it was dangerous, well, they still like to go because
they have a beautiful situation a ballpark.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
Yeah, but in wrigley Field.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I think you're less likely to get shot in wrigly
Ville and more likely to get a gave an aerial disease.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Well, what's wrong with that?
Speaker 5 (08:18):
Well, if antibiotics are clear, that right up?
Speaker 2 (08:21):
All right, So baseball open the day you got that
sweet sixteen kicking up again, you know, because it's all
part of that march madness.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Coog's Astros play at three o'clock. It's after now.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
By the way, Cougar is at nine o'clock at night.
I don't know why so late, but that's just how
they do you. Is it a West Coast game, I
don't think so. I don't know where they're playing.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
They're not playing a West Coast team, but I think
they're playing in a tournament out wide.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Maybe that's it. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
And the UFL is kicking off disease, and I believe
that's on the next day, like on Friday.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
And who's involved in that is herschel Walker and Donald
Trump are those owners or what?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
I don't know who who you know? UFIL.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
That's just they merged USFL and the XFL and they
ended up with the UFL Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Dwayne Johnson is an owner, right, I don't know how
you feel about rock and then Danny Rienzi who's that?
Speaker 5 (09:16):
So it's a woman.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
There's only eight teams in the UFL Okay, so you
know they got to play each other pretty regular. Of
the eight, where would you guess the Houston Roughnecks come
in on the on the power ranking.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Because you're asking, I'm gonna assume eighth.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Place, absolutely last place. Yeah, and the Birmingham Stallions they're
the best.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
They are the best.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
They come in number one, Michigan, number two, Saint Louis,
the Battle Hawks.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Wait, was this the thing where they play all the
games in Birmingham and then it was I don't know,
and then the Birmingham teams the best team?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Right? How'd that work out?
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Antonio comes in fourth, and you know it's respectable. Halfway
down the list DC defenders, then there comes Arlington and
Memphis at six and seven.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I do like that the Walton and Johnson listening audience
gets a lot of representation.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Here.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
There's a Dallas team, there's an Alabama team, There's there's
a Houston team.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Yeah, mamsonio even Memphis.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Yeah that's great, Okay, maybe all look I mean still football, you.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Know that's right. It's still football, you know. So you
got that going for you. Oh and a sports report
even though you didn't acts well brought to you buy
my pillow.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
There's this good quality products on a good quality program.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
No better way to celebrate opening Day than to go
to my pillow dot com promo code.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
W J and looking forward to it and get that
mattress topper.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
You know it was.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
It still aggravates the hell out of liberals. Every time
somebody gets on my pillow delivery, a liberal sheds a tear.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
You know something.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Isn't that really the first thing on your mind when
you buy bed sheets?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Always? Yeah, mussels and.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
How do we hide our feelings better? We get a
bigger muscle, We get bigger.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Muscles, stay tuned for more Waltman Johnson signal.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
The more I learned about Trump and his military team,
the people at the Pentagon, the more I don't like him.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Just awful. Well, everything to do with war is awful,
and then Trump just makes it worse.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
The signal wasn't even the worst scandal, Like, did you
guys know that Trump tried to have the CIA execute
cute a coup in Libya? But it got botched and
it was it resulted in the ambassador dying, and then
he tried to blame it on a YouTube video. No,
excuse me, what do you mean it was a different
(11:42):
president Obama? Oh yeah, Obama? Oh, the same thing Hillary Clinton? Yeah,
well that's nothing. Did you guys know that Trump gave
eighty billion dollars worth of military aircrafts to the Taliban?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Did you kind of weapons? Yeah, like a whole air
force and got thirteen uh members of our military killed? Yeah,
thanks a lot, Trump?
Speaker 5 (12:04):
That was that was?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
That was Trump? Either?
Speaker 5 (12:07):
That was? Oh that wasn't Trump.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Huh yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Well Pete heg Seth is kicking himself for not, you know,
doing it the way Biden did, because now he's in
all kinds of trouble for his service to America.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Well, did you guys know that Trump I tried to
execute a gun running scheme down at the border and
they gave a bunch of guns to guys in the
cartel and then they use those guns to kill people
in the border patrol.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Yes, yes, I did hear about that evil, evil Trump.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
It was called Fast and Furious. They he named it
after that movie. Yeah, Tokyo drifted, Yeah, Tokyo drifted.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
Well, anyway, that Trump needs to be brought to justice.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Somebody needs to put this boy down. Not no, not no,
not that's not you don't use that language.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
That's nasmen, Crocketts, stuff like that all the time, right,
But that's the problem.
Speaker 5 (12:52):
You're not supposed to say that that doesn't kill.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
And as she does have a you know, she she's
got the free path.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
What what do you mean what free path?
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Well, I'm just saying, you know, because she's pretty, that's all.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Oh pretty privilege. Yeah, oh, pretty privilege is a real thing.
And as a matter of fan, I gotta think her
hair is a little too you know, soft, careful carafall.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I don't know she's really representing the people.
Speaker 5 (13:17):
You don't mean that. No, horror, You're not supposed to
comment on a black woman's hair.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
I know, I went right to the right to the
root of the issue.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
You're not even that's that's cute.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
I like it.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
You're not even allowed to say you like it?
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Oh really?
Speaker 5 (13:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Have you ever seen that list they put out of
things white people aren't supposed to do to black people,
like don't tell a black woman you like her hair?
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Like what?
Speaker 5 (13:37):
But there can't be a thing.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Come on, well, you can't know, like if a black
woman changes her hairstyle, you're not supposed to comment on it.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
You're not supposed to say, oh, your hair is very interesting.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Oh interesting, it's one way to go, I suppose.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
I guess interesting does sound insulting?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Now that you can have a black people, white people
and all the crap that still keeps going on, okay,
because obviously we don't have enough racism happening naturally, so
we have to create it. And one of the members
of the squad that usually goes unnoticed is trying to
get more attention. Representative Presley if you're aware of Ayana,
(14:16):
is her.
Speaker 5 (14:16):
Name, Ayana Presley?
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (14:18):
Yeah, she has alopecia and I would never comment on that.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
No, of course not. No.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
She says that Trump's cabinet, his administration's way too white,
is it. Let's take a look now the cabinet alone,
if you don't count the president and the vice president,
that would be twenty two other people.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
And I see immediately as he's Scott Turner.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
I mean, I've got him on the screen right now,
there's Scott.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
He's not too white at all. Look at my boy,
Scott Turner. Yeah, that's the form of a football player.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
Dude.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
This guy knows what's up. Look at those shoulders, this
guy does. This guy squats, he deadly. He could do
a rack poll, probably five hundred pounds. Is he on
the uh the rack pull cabinet? See you know, No
he's not. No, he's the Housing and Urban Development secretary.
Oh that it was Ben Carson. And then we had
a few of them, and uh, it's all of them,
(15:17):
of them, of what of who? I guess you're right
that sounded bad. Uh in recent it was always a
white guy until recent years, and now it's always a
black person.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
You also got uh, non white names like Rubio and uh,
there's a Chabez Rimmer.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I can't also Christine omate white, So what is she?
She's native?
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I like that.
Speaker 5 (15:45):
I didn't know that. Taulca Gabbard, Tausey Gabbard not white Hawaiian.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
No.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I mean there's like half a dozen not white people
on the on the list there.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Look at this when you pull up the Wikipedia page
for who the secretary is of Housing in Urban Development.
Look at that going back to twenty seventeen, Ben Carson brother,
and then Ben Carson left, and then briefly this white
guy named Matt Amen, and and he doesn't have an
official photo. It's just a picture of a white guy
sitting at his computer. He went along for the job,
and then he leaves, and then they got Marcia Fudge,
(16:15):
she's a sister, and then Marcia Fudge and then that's
her name, and then she leaves, and then Matt Amen
acting secretary again, and then he gets replaced by I
was just there to plug the hole, Adrian Todman, a sister,
and then she leaves, and then again acting or Housing
an Urban Development, awkward white guy at a computer, Matt
Amen's third time at the job.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
And then finally my boy Scott Turner of Texas.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
There you Scottie.
Speaker 5 (16:42):
I want to know what matt Amon actually does. What
is he doing most of the heavy lifting?
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Is this? You know that that probably is he's getting
the work done, but he's not, you know, the front guy.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I want to learn more about matt Amen. Well, he
might be a people person. Jesus, maybe that's what he
does here, matt what would you say you do here?
Housing in urban development.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Also limited a Now, maybe just a stupid question, but
you know the ain't no such thing as stupid questions. Well,
my teacher learned the hard way. That's not true, Cash Battail.
Is he not part of the cabinet, but he is
part of the administration?
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Am I right?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
He's yeah, I mean it's not he's not whit he's
part of the cabinet. Yeah, Dan Bongo, Dan Bongino is
kind of like the rock. He's racially ambiguous. There you go,
Why I don't he don't give him the whiteness. Well,
that's a problem with being Italian. We only qualify as
white when it's convenient to the liberals. It's like being
a Jew. We only Jews are only white when it's
convenient to liberals. Otherwise they count as a minority.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
So it sounds like, you know, the cabinet under Trump's
current administration sort of represents the percentages of the different
nationalities and races that make up the.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Country of Okay, that that is a valid point when
you actually look at statistical data.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Oh here he goes again.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
It pretty much is a mirror image of what the
per capita is in this country exactly.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
But as you know, per capita is.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Anybody auc called Elon Musk unqualified, that would almost be
as crazy as a bartender calling a rocket scientist stupid.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
This is the Walton and Johnson Show.
You're not supposed to laugh at racist memes, so don't.
Or homophobic ones. Those are even worse, that's right? Or
are they batter?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
They're not worse. There may be as bad, but they
worse than the racist stuff.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Wow. No, racism still got to take the front.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
I agree, rights don't well, I mean either, I think
it's homophobia that's bad.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Yeah, wait what you're flipping over me?
Speaker 4 (00:22):
Now?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Wait, no, it's flipping open like that.
Speaker 5 (00:24):
Hey uh.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Nancy Pelosi apparently has been drawing her eyebrows too high,
so we told her and she looked surprised. You know,
thank you what. It's a joke about eyebrows, Billy had
I let it go now eight six six, I love
w Jay.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Did you guys see the little kid running across the
lawn at the White House. I don't know if he
was trying to give Trump a hug or what. Apparently
he was skinny enough to fit through the bars, really
the fence. He wasn't supposed to be there, slipped through
some kind of a hole or a gap or just
right between the bars.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
He was a little kid. Looks like he's made. I
don't know how, you know, I don't have kids. I
don't know how to judge their age, but he looked
like he was, you know, three or four.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
They can walk by then, right, Because he was running
across the lawn, secret Service guy had come over to
scoop him up.
Speaker 5 (01:14):
I'm glad they didn't assassinate him.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Down.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
He luckily he missed some of the land mines that
are out there on the lawn. They've probably marked those now.
With Easter coming up, you know, they had that egg
thing that we roll them around on the lawn. Anyways,
got the egg thing, the egg roll at the White House.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
They every year, you must be pretty wealthy in your
family rolling eggs around on Easter.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
They're not going to be real eggs. This year, secret
Service guy scoops him up, kind of awkwardly, carrying him
kind of under his arms a little bit and getting
him back to his parents. And he was the kid
was waving as they were hauling him off. He was
waving to the White House.
Speaker 5 (01:58):
They will tell that story for the rest of their life.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
And the comments were all about the Secret Service guy
looking like he was you know, how to hold a child.
It's like he's really holding him wrong. He's carrying him
very awkwardly.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
It's like, okay, well, they don't train them for that
at the point of the story.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yeah, and he was a young guy. He might not
have ever held a child. Boy, you're not kidding. It
is awkward looking. Yeah, I just pulled it up. He's
also holding him while he has a rifle as assault
rifle around his neck, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Okay, so so in the kids in the Secret Service
agent's defense, he looks.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Like he's he might not have kids, look, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Yeah, well what else do you And he doesn't want
the kid to accidentally touch the gun.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
I had him off the gun.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
That's the part of this. I think that you're right.
That's the part of this. People misunderstand. It's not that
he doesn't know how to hold a kid. It's that
he doesn't want the kid to get accidentally pulled the
trigger on his sniper rifle that he's carrying.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
You know. This does bring up another interesting point we
haven't talked about in a while.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Cherry blossom trees.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
It's really easy to snee into the White House, at
least that's what news stories in the past have suggested. Okay,
there are all these different incidents of people running out
onto the lawn, or people pretending to be visitors of
the White House and just showing up in a tuxedo
in a ball gown the night that there's a cocktail.
Oh yeah, come on in, you're supposed to be here.
I know it sounds crazy, but there's a lot of
(03:20):
these news stories and I would never do it. It
takes a lot plus you know, what would be the point.
But but you know, it's happened many times in the past.
Someone just shows up at the White House and sneaks in.
They're in there, like a famous couple that shows up
at events they're not supposed to be at and they
get in. Someone made a documentary about them once, right,
I mean, they're not famous, they're famous for doing this.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
They've been in the White House, they've been on the.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Red carpet of the Oscars, they've been to the NATO summits, and.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
They just show up and everybody assumes they're somebody else's guest.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
If you just show up in a tuxedo and.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
A ball gown, you mean like waiting crashers, Right, yeah, yeah,
I got a gala coming up.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
I gotta tell you, I was really sad yesterday about
getting dumped, and now I just realized it saved me
five hundred bucks.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
How you figure?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Well, I was supposed to buy the Hispanic Arts Council.
My neighbor's on the board or whatever, and they're doing
a gala and he, you know, he hit me hit Dala, Gala, Gala, Gala, Gala.
I think he's right. It does sound like gala from
what I would be knowing your neighbors the way I do, probably, so, yeah,
these are the Gabors.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
They're nice people.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
And so they asked me if I would go, and
I told him I would, and then they said you
don't have to donate, and I said no, no, I'll donate.
And then yesterday he tells me, he's like, well, it's
five hundred bucks a chair. I was like, oh, well,
that girl, I was sort of dating charity.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
You get to write that off. You get with wheelchairs
for warriors, and I.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
Like writing stuff off.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Don't get me wrong, but I will tell you knowing
that it is going to cost me five hundred instead
of a thousand. Now nice, I feel pretty good about that.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Unless you end up with somebody else by then I
gotta tell you that doesn't seem like it's gonna be
a problem for me.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
No, that's what I'm gonna do until the end of
the month. I'm just not going to date anybody. And
then I won't and then I won't have to pay
for another chair.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
That's my secret. Now, when Gayla season comes around, I
get dumped.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
I notice she didn't dump you before Valentine's Day, though,
did she?
Speaker 5 (05:12):
No, that's when we started dating.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Oh, that might have been your first mistake.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
See, that's always been my problem. I'm too generous. I'm
a nice guy. I don't really have anything to spend
money on. I'm kind of a blue jeans and T
shirt kind of guy, an.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Easy touch, right, Yeah, she put the touch on you.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
But then yesterday, because it was the voodoo.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
That that really messes you up.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
But then yes yesterday, my buddy Jesse Peyton reminded me
that I'm a middle aged man with a small penis,
and he planted this idea in my head. I should
buy a Corvette. Oh lord, so I think I'm gonna
do that? Is it that middle aged time already? It is?
Speaker 5 (05:46):
Yeah, I think I'm gonna buy a Corvette.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
But speaking to Jesse, Peyton me, him and Chad Prather
are going to be and I why do.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
You have to make everything gay?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Jesse Chad and I me Chad?
Speaker 5 (05:59):
No, it beats Chad. Jesse and I are gonna.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Like some caveman over here beating your chest now because
I don't use proper grammar.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
Make you more of a man, doesn't make me more man?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
We have a comedy show coming up Friday, April eighteenth
in New Orleans at Southport Hall. Tickets are on sale.
There's a link on my ex account Kenneth our Webster
on x but you could also just go to the
website for Southport Hall. Friday, April eighteenth, we're going to
be in New Orleans doing the right side of comedy.
It's right wing, it's it'll be dirty, but it's like
right leaning comedy.
Speaker 5 (06:32):
And then the following night we're in Hattiesburg, but I
don't know what the venue is.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Okay anyway, and everyone's invited, even Democrats.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Get out here.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
What about Episcopalians, Nah, certainly not the Methodist Well, I
mean that goes with that saying.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
We wouldn't want to ruin the party anyway, So come
check that out.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
That's going to be a blast in the meantime. Today's
a pretty big day in the world of sports. I
don't know if you're intentionally ignoring it or if you're
waiting to, you know, for a certain time. This morning
before we you know, set off the fireworks and dropped
the balloons and confetti everywhere.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
But we had a meeting earlier before you got here.
We're not gonna do sports anymore.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Yeah, I mean that. I thought we put a memo.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
We decided to cut out sports and celebrity birthdays from
the show. We decided those were the most unpopular parts there.
Hang on, I don't think I saw that up.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
It's open and day who Opening Day. Everybody got real
excited about it. It's baseball.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
It is opening day. But enough about Stormy Daniels. What's
going on in sports.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
America's favorite pastime and baseball and baseball us today?
Speaker 5 (07:35):
All right?
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
And I don't know about everybody's favorite team, but the
local folks here, you know, in Houston anyway, we generally
followed the strolls.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I know, Dallas got the team.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
You know Atlanta's got and you know, you might live
in Atlanta and follow the Cubs or something.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I don't know, a.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Lot of people in rural Louisiana are Cubs fans because WGN.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
A lot of people in Houston are, well, they're Astro fans,
but they like to go to the games when they're
in Chicago, even though it's very deadly. If you know
it was dangerous, well, they still like to go because
they have a beautiful situation a ballpark.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
Yeah, but in wrigley Field.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I think you're less likely to get shot in wrigly
Ville and more likely to get a gave an aerial disease.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Well, what's wrong with that?
Speaker 5 (08:18):
Well, if antibiotics are clear, that right up?
Speaker 2 (08:21):
All right, So baseball open the day you got that
sweet sixteen kicking up again, you know, because it's all
part of that march madness.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Coog's Astros play at three o'clock. It's after now.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
By the way, Cougar is at nine o'clock at night.
I don't know why so late, but that's just how
they do you. Is it a West Coast game, I
don't think so. I don't know where they're playing.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
They're not playing a West Coast team, but I think
they're playing in a tournament out wide.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Maybe that's it. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
And the UFL is kicking off disease, and I believe
that's on the next day, like on Friday.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
And who's involved in that is herschel Walker and Donald
Trump are those owners or what?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
I don't know who who you know? UFIL.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
That's just they merged USFL and the XFL and they
ended up with the UFL Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Dwayne Johnson is an owner, right, I don't know how
you feel about rock and then Danny Rienzi who's that?
Speaker 5 (09:16):
So it's a woman.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
There's only eight teams in the UFL Okay, so you
know they got to play each other pretty regular. Of
the eight, where would you guess the Houston Roughnecks come
in on the on the power ranking.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Because you're asking, I'm gonna assume eighth.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Place, absolutely last place. Yeah, and the Birmingham Stallions they're
the best.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
They are the best.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
They come in number one, Michigan, number two, Saint Louis,
the Battle Hawks.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Wait, was this the thing where they play all the
games in Birmingham and then it was I don't know,
and then the Birmingham teams the best team?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Right? How'd that work out?
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Antonio comes in fourth, and you know it's respectable. Halfway
down the list DC defenders, then there comes Arlington and
Memphis at six and seven.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I do like that the Walton and Johnson listening audience
gets a lot of representation.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Here.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
There's a Dallas team, there's an Alabama team, There's there's
a Houston team.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Yeah, mamsonio even Memphis.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Yeah that's great, Okay, maybe all look I mean still football, you.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Know that's right. It's still football, you know. So you
got that going for you. Oh and a sports report
even though you didn't acts well brought to you buy
my pillow.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
There's this good quality products on a good quality program.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
No better way to celebrate opening Day than to go
to my pillow dot com promo code.
Speaker 5 (10:39):
W J and looking forward to it and get that
mattress topper.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
You know it was.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
It still aggravates the hell out of liberals. Every time
somebody gets on my pillow delivery, a liberal sheds a tear.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
You know something.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Isn't that really the first thing on your mind when
you buy bed sheets?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Always? Yeah, mussels and.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
How do we hide our feelings better? We get a
bigger muscle, We get bigger.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Muscles, stay tuned for more Waltman Johnson signal.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
The more I learned about Trump and his military team,
the people at the Pentagon, the more I don't like him.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Just awful. Well, everything to do with war is awful,
and then Trump just makes it worse.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
The signal wasn't even the worst scandal, Like, did you
guys know that Trump tried to have the CIA execute
cute a coup in Libya? But it got botched and
it was it resulted in the ambassador dying, and then
he tried to blame it on a YouTube video. No,
excuse me, what do you mean it was a different
(11:42):
president Obama? Oh yeah, Obama? Oh, the same thing Hillary Clinton? Yeah,
well that's nothing. Did you guys know that Trump gave
eighty billion dollars worth of military aircrafts to the Taliban?
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Did you kind of weapons? Yeah, like a whole air
force and got thirteen uh members of our military killed? Yeah,
thanks a lot, Trump?
Speaker 5 (12:04):
That was that was?
Speaker 3 (12:05):
That was Trump? Either?
Speaker 5 (12:07):
That was? Oh that wasn't Trump.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Huh yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Well Pete heg Seth is kicking himself for not, you know,
doing it the way Biden did, because now he's in
all kinds of trouble for his service to America.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Well, did you guys know that Trump I tried to
execute a gun running scheme down at the border and
they gave a bunch of guns to guys in the
cartel and then they use those guns to kill people
in the border patrol.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Yes, yes, I did hear about that evil, evil Trump.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
It was called Fast and Furious. They he named it
after that movie. Yeah, Tokyo drifted, Yeah, Tokyo drifted.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
Well, anyway, that Trump needs to be brought to justice.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Somebody needs to put this boy down. Not no, not no,
not that's not you don't use that language.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
That's nasmen, Crocketts, stuff like that all the time, right,
But that's the problem.
Speaker 5 (12:52):
You're not supposed to say that that doesn't kill.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
And as she does have a you know, she she's
got the free path.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
What what do you mean what free path?
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Well, I'm just saying, you know, because she's pretty, that's all.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Oh pretty privilege. Yeah, oh, pretty privilege is a real thing.
And as a matter of fan, I gotta think her
hair is a little too you know, soft, careful carafall.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I don't know she's really representing the people.
Speaker 5 (13:17):
You don't mean that. No, horror, You're not supposed to
comment on a black woman's hair.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
I know, I went right to the right to the
root of the issue.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
You're not even that's that's cute.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
I like it.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
You're not even allowed to say you like it?
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Oh really?
Speaker 5 (13:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Have you ever seen that list they put out of
things white people aren't supposed to do to black people,
like don't tell a black woman you like her hair?
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Like what?
Speaker 5 (13:37):
But there can't be a thing.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Come on, well, you can't know, like if a black
woman changes her hairstyle, you're not supposed to comment on it.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
You're not supposed to say, oh, your hair is very interesting.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Oh interesting, it's one way to go, I suppose.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
I guess interesting does sound insulting?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Now that you can have a black people, white people
and all the crap that still keeps going on, okay,
because obviously we don't have enough racism happening naturally, so
we have to create it. And one of the members
of the squad that usually goes unnoticed is trying to
get more attention. Representative Presley if you're aware of Ayana,
(14:16):
is her.
Speaker 5 (14:16):
Name, Ayana Presley?
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (14:18):
Yeah, she has alopecia and I would never comment on that.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
No, of course not. No.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
She says that Trump's cabinet, his administration's way too white,
is it. Let's take a look now the cabinet alone,
if you don't count the president and the vice president,
that would be twenty two other people.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
And I see immediately as he's Scott Turner.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
I mean, I've got him on the screen right now,
there's Scott.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
He's not too white at all. Look at my boy,
Scott Turner. Yeah, that's the form of a football player.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
Dude.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
This guy knows what's up. Look at those shoulders, this
guy does. This guy squats, he deadly. He could do
a rack poll, probably five hundred pounds. Is he on
the uh the rack pull cabinet? See you know, No
he's not. No, he's the Housing and Urban Development secretary.
Oh that it was Ben Carson. And then we had
a few of them, and uh, it's all of them,
(15:17):
of them, of what of who? I guess you're right
that sounded bad. Uh in recent it was always a
white guy until recent years, and now it's always a
black person.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
You also got uh, non white names like Rubio and uh,
there's a Chabez Rimmer.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I can't also Christine omate white, So what is she?
She's native?
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (15:44):
I like that.
Speaker 5 (15:45):
I didn't know that. Taulca Gabbard, Tausey Gabbard not white Hawaiian.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
No.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I mean there's like half a dozen not white people
on the on the list there.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Look at this when you pull up the Wikipedia page
for who the secretary is of Housing in Urban Development.
Look at that going back to twenty seventeen, Ben Carson brother,
and then Ben Carson left, and then briefly this white
guy named Matt Amen, and and he doesn't have an
official photo. It's just a picture of a white guy
sitting at his computer. He went along for the job,
and then he leaves, and then they got Marcia Fudge,
(16:15):
she's a sister, and then Marcia Fudge and then that's
her name, and then she leaves, and then Matt Amen
acting secretary again, and then he gets replaced by I
was just there to plug the hole, Adrian Todman, a sister,
and then she leaves, and then again acting or Housing
an Urban Development, awkward white guy at a computer, Matt
Amen's third time at the job.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
And then finally my boy Scott Turner of Texas.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
There you Scottie.
Speaker 5 (16:42):
I want to know what matt Amon actually does. What
is he doing most of the heavy lifting?
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Is this? You know that that probably is he's getting
the work done, but he's not, you know, the front guy.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I want to learn more about matt Amen. Well, he
might be a people person. Jesus, maybe that's what he
does here, matt what would you say you do here?
Housing in urban development.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Also limited a Now, maybe just a stupid question, but
you know the ain't no such thing as stupid questions. Well,
my teacher learned the hard way. That's not true, Cash Battail.
Is he not part of the cabinet, but he is
part of the administration?
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Am I right?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
He's yeah, I mean it's not he's not whit he's
part of the cabinet. Yeah, Dan Bongo, Dan Bongino is
kind of like the rock. He's racially ambiguous. There you go,
Why I don't he don't give him the whiteness. Well,
that's a problem with being Italian. We only qualify as
white when it's convenient to the liberals. It's like being
a Jew. We only Jews are only white when it's
convenient to liberals. Otherwise they count as a minority.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
So it sounds like, you know, the cabinet under Trump's
current administration sort of represents the percentages of the different
nationalities and races that make up the.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Country of Okay, that that is a valid point when
you actually look at statistical data.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Oh here he goes again.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
It pretty much is a mirror image of what the
per capita is in this country exactly.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
But as you know, per capita is.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Anybody auc called Elon Musk unqualified, that would almost be
as crazy as a bartender calling a rocket scientist stupid.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
This is the Walton and Johnson Show.
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