Columbus Day Is So Back - FRI 9.1

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I have a question. Guys, you're supposed to raise your hand?
Oh oh yeah over here, yes, you in the rear.
Are we see how I did that?

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Now that Trump's president again, can we agree that only
actual women should be able to wear slutty Halloween costumes
this year?

Speaker 1 (00:18):
Yes? Yes, who's trying to get away with slutty costumes
that shouldn't.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Well, I just noticed for the last four years I
went to some Halloween parties and there were a lot
of guys wearing Wonder Woman costumes and not ironically.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Like to be funny, but they were trying to understand. Sure,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
It was like, is this are you like a frat boy?
And this is a joke? And they're like, no, I'm
not a frat boy. I just think I look hot
in this. Sure, like some of them do.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
See that that should not be all matter of fact,
that whole four years that was basically like a government shutdown.
We had four years of a government shut down where
nobody was president or everybody was president. I'm not sure.
It seems like they just kind of divvied up and
took turns up there in Washington. While Biden was you
know whatever, he was doing, wouldn't be in president.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
I just remember, back in high school or college, one
of the guys on the football team would put on
like a dress for Halloween, and everybody thought that was hilarious, right,
But then a short time later, like a real short
time later, a guy would put on a dress for Halloween,
and we were all supposed to tell him how stunning
and brave he was. And yeah, no, I was like,
that's not that stunning and brave. My buddy Dave did
that a few years ago. We all thought it was hilarious.

(01:25):
We're like, you're being funny too, right, And then you know,
the response was, no, that's offensive, that's you're all you're
not supposed to laugh at him.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
I guess Gavin Newsom's birthday, I just I don't know
if that was you know, something you knew and you
were trying to avoid talking about, or or if you
just didn't know, Oh, what's he going to ask for Halloween?
The former governor? Well be former soon enough.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Happy birthday, Patrick Bateman, Gavin Newsom, governor of Florida, fifty eight.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
You'res young today and so handsome. If you don't believe me,
just ask him. He'll tell you. Oh yeah, he's very
proud of himself. Other lesser of celebrity names Amy T. Garden,
who was the coach's daughter Julie on Friday Night Lights.
He's thirty six.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Now, that's how he's funny when someone's last name is
a thing like Tea Garden Tea Garden Dale.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
Earnhardt Junior is fifty one today he nothing compared to
his old man. Well, that's a birthday gift right there.
Mario Lopez is fifty two. Tell him why he's famous.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Oh, I know the answer to this. He was on
Stay by the Bell. That's why he's famous. So he
was a c slater when I wake up in the
morning and I call on that morning and I think
I ever making it on time. And then Zach would
get to school and like he didn't want Kelly to
take diapels because she was addicted to him, And Screech
got his hand on a pack of smokes and they
all hung out at the peach bed Mario's.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
That was nine o two one of it. And Mario
is famous for having married Ali Landry, a South Louisiana beauty,
and then two weeks into the marriage she busted him
for cheating on her. Wow, and that's a woman you
just don't not need to cheat on at all. I
looked at a picture of her recently, and she looks

(03:12):
like Shanaia Twain looked like twenty years ago, when Shania
Twain looked all that good and everything, not that she
don't still look good. Well, happy birthday to Ali Landry.
There you get no her ex husband. Who's that Mario Lopez?
Oh yeah, I'm saved by the Brett Brett Farv, Brett Farv,
Brett Farv fifty six, Julia Sweeney. It's Pat from Saturday

(03:37):
Night Live sixty six. Bradley Whitford is also sixty six.
Tanya Tucker sixty seven. David Lee Roth. Maybe you've heard
of him seventy one today? Oh yeah, he was in
Van Hellen and Ben Vereen Chicken Charge in Roots seventy
nine today.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Oh well, did you say it right, mister l No,
he didn't say it all. Doudo is not Roots, Roots,
it's Roots Now. I can't decide. I want to play
David Lee Rother the theme of Roots beIN Vereen. I
went with David Lee Roth. Sorry, mister, good call.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
I guess I didn't get a vote, well, you get
three fits of a vote. According to Billy Ed, today
is a World Egg Day. Did you know that it
is a good for you? They say, oh no, are
they bad for you?

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Today's also Real Women's Day, something that Riley Gaines and
Don Haffeine's a friend of the show we're out promoting.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Did they start that? Well, we used to not have
Real Women's Day because we didn't need to, because we
weren't all, you know, retarded back in my day.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Back in the day you could go to California and
the girls didn't even have penises. Yeah, yeah, what happened.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
Tomorrow's birthdays include Cardi b I know you love her.
She's thirty three tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
I don't know where she is right now, but I
bet she's got a yeast infection.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Michelle we used thirty six. She's a golfer. I don't
know if you knew that or not. No, we definitely
don't know the names of women golf. Yeah. Emily de Chanel.
You've probably seen her on Bones. She's the older sister
of Zoe from New Girl. She she's forty nine tomorrow.
Stephen Moyer, he was vampire Bill in True Blood. Turns

(05:15):
fifty six Saturday. Jane Krakowski, Sean Patrick Flannery. Do you
ever see the show Powder? Probably didn't see Powder. I
thought it was a movie. It was a movie, yeah,
and it was a show to a show. They made
a show out of Powder. A movie is a show. Yeah, Okay,
say I'm going to the show. Going to see the show.

Speaker 2 (05:34):
They say that about major League Baseball when you go
to the show, hasn't you made a big league That's so,
that's so what that's about.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
Okay, agree to his Sagree. Joan Cusack. Steve Young, the
football player with the scrambled brain because all the concussions,
you know, also was in Powder. Daryl Hall Will turned
seventy nine tomorrow. They had Jeff Goldbloom in that. Dude.
He's great. He was just in town. Did you know
he's in a band. I didn't know he was in town. Well, anyway,
happy birthday. To have called Boom tomorrow would be No,

(06:02):
it's not Luke Perry, the late Luke Perry. Why he
didn't get to work on time? Died? Oh yeah, that
was Dylan the original nine on two one oh, which
you were just confused about. Oh yeah, with Mario Lopez.
I remember, yeah, those kids. And then let's see if
there's any names worthy of holding on to for Sunday birthdays.

(06:24):
Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
Also, that was a thing, also from church, the church
Huge Jackman.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
Will be fifty seven on Sunday. Sam Moore of Sam
and Dave no longer with us. He would have been ninety.
He died earlier this year. And Dick Gregory. They said,
before Eddie Murphy or Richard Pryor or any of those,
there was Dick Gregory. Yeah, that was a good thing.

(06:55):
I guess so he was black. It looks like it. Mister,
how did you look like it? Did you like Dick Gregory?
I'm not. I'm not familiar with a man, be honest
with you.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
I may have heard of him, you know if if
you tell me what he did, I might be able
to tell you that.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
You know, it's good though it was Richard Pryor. He
Richard Pryor. That man was funny.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
I kind of remember Dick Gregory. I got a picture
of him on the screen here. I don't remember what
he was in, but kind of you'd write, he's not Garrett.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
That's the guy with the chocolate chip cookies, isn't it. No, Yeah,
he had chocolate chip cookies. I'm pretty sure that's him.
Or was he the rice guy? He looked like he
could have been the It was Uncle Ben and he converted.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
All I know is don't confuse him for Garrett Morris.
That's very much that that would be less.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah, totally. He was in The Hot Chick with Robert Schneider.
That's a good movie, man. I mean, it wasn't bad.
I like hot chicks in it and stuff. What happened
to miss Simon? I don't know if we didn't do
this Day in History yet, But you're wondering off, kind
of like Joe Biden at a press conference. I'm looking
to learn about Dick Gregory. Yeah, you learned all about Dick.
I thought you liked Dick. Yeah, but he's he has

(07:57):
his time and his place. Got it? Okay? So eighteen
forty five, on this day of the US Naval Today
in History, brought to you by Hello the Walton Johnson Store,
where we have plenty of merch available for you, including
some of those new items. Can he tell you about
a minute ago?

Speaker 2 (08:13):
And in hidition at being a real woman's day, It's
also World Egg Day and National Cake Decorating Day.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
So how do you like them? Apples? How's it at
the Navy is one hundred and eighty years old? When
they just didn't they just have a big ceremony for
their two hundred and fiftieth birthday or something.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
Okay, So the day that they have their birthday and
the day that they like conceived the idea aren't necessarily
this is the academy.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
The Academy in Annapolis opened, But they I don't know
where they went to school before that. Maybe they're just
you know, out in the field somewhere.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
You know what else is today, Billy, this is probably
a little more important for you on this day. In
seventeen sixty seven, a guy named Mason and a guy
named dix On finished drawing their famous line between Maryland
and Pennsylvania.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
Kind of curious how they even agreed to where that
line should be. It was kind of like Republicans and
Democrats today, you know, dictions like I think the line
should go right to here. No, you fool, the line
needs to go right down there. I'm surprised they didn't
kill each other on the way to drawing their line.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Well back in those days. I think they were unified
by their hatred of foreigners.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah. Yeah, we should get back.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
To the good old days, the god, the good old
days when xenophobia is normalized. Today, in nineteen eleven, the
Panama Canal opened, and today, in nineteen thirty five, mister Kenneth,
Porgy and Bess, a great American opera opened on Broadway.

Speaker 1 (09:37):
Broadway, the Great White Way. Now that's a show. I'm sorry,
the Great what it's a great way to go. I
thought you just said something else. They used to call
it the Great White Way before that sounded so terrible. Mister.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
Oh yeah, I know, I know that a different to
you today in nineteen seven, were really different to you. No,
wools Day, No, they really weren't. No, I agree with
mister Oe. You guys are all racist, especially Broadway today.
In nineteen seventy one, the reassembled London Bridge opened in Arizona.

Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yep, Arizona. That's your love, dad.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
They disassembled it and they rebuilt it at a resort
in Arizona.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
Well, I heard that it was falling down. Oh okay,
I get it.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
Today, in nineteen seventy three, Vice President Spiro Agnew resigns
amid allegations a tax evasion. And today, in two thousand
and four, Superman died. Christopher Reeve died at age fifty two.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
Now this is not this day in history, but I
just got a late breaking news update Milania Trump's schedule
to give a speech at eleven o'clock at the White
House ten o'clock Central time. To wait until the show
is over. I understand they are saying now that she
might disclose marital problems between she and her husband, the president. Yeah,

(10:49):
that seems unlikely. It turns out, well, this is why
it's such a shocking news update. Nearly she has had
it with Donald Trump's habit. I guess you would call
it has a tendency when he's wandering about the White
House to just move the furniture. Occasionally thinks that chair
should a chair should be over there by the fireplace,

(11:10):
and this this table that should be against that wall
over there. She said she has had it up to here.
She is suffering from Trump rearrangement syndrome. I see what
you did there. Nobody, nobody, you know. I laugh when
you're on stage telling bad jokes. Thank you. When I
see an American flag, I immediately look at that like,

(11:32):
I'm like, that person's probably a bigot.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
That person's probably a homophobe, that person's probably a racist.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
If you're gonna bring in here, bring a smart Walton
and Johnson Radio Network. What he's saying, he's worked up
over it. Anybody else get that. I don't get what
he's saying exactly. He's just he sounds like he's in pain.
He's saying.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
I's a little boy, and my mama told me keep
my politics to me. Never really bought the things they
saw me. But now I'm starting to believe seeing everybody
going crazy, it's just a bunch of words.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
Here it is. I don't get it, and I don't
even understand them anyway. I do get it when there's
an alligator at the grocery store. Though there's an alligator
at the grocery store, very few people ever say, Man,
I wish I lived in Florida, you know, full time
instead of just like for a weekend at the beach.
But if you could run into an alligator, you know,
randomly at the grocery store from time to time, might

(12:31):
be worth moving. And we're not talking frozen alligator. Meet
in the frozen food aisle. Either we are talking at
the public's grocery store. You know about them, right, public?
I do, yeah, publics yes, yeah. Driver spotted a living,
breathing alligator hanging out at the public's parking lot on Sunday.
Amanda is her name, She knowed, not the alligator. The

(12:53):
woman that called. She called the TV station. I guess
noticed the large alligator headed towards the parking lot in
Orange County, Florida, and took a video of it. They said,
pretty good sized gat too. She was concerned officially for
the safety of the you know, the shoppers and maybe
they're young, and especially because gator grab a kid and

(13:13):
take it off. She said that gator was huge, ambled
through the lot and then guess where it went? Where
did it go inside this door? Really yeah, that's not
what they were hoping for. But they got them doors
that if you get in front of them and move
around a little bit, the door ain't smart enough. No,
you're not a bear or a raccoon, or whether you're

(13:36):
a human. So, yeah, the gator went in there, and
they said maybe he was looking for a water source.
You know, we don't know for sure, but they Florida
got the highest alligator population in the United States, which
sounds to me like they're just not doing a good
job of getting them gaiters like swamp people do. Swamp
people can get them gators. Man. They said, they are

(13:59):
important course to Florida's natural areas, but a public's grocery
store ain't one of those natural areas.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Well, in Florida, there's like a public's grocery store everywhere.
It's pretty natural, Billy, I, Well, not so much for
the gator. No, they prefer a little swampier area to
just hang out in. I don't know, I've been in
the bathroom at a public so it's pretty swampy only
when you're in it. Yeah. Anyway, interesting too, because what's

(14:27):
the other thing they have there is the anacondas they
have out in the Everglades or the bubbet constructors.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
That's what it is.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
They got big snakes, you think they feel You see
one of those snakes in a Publix, right, Yeah, that's
probably about it. Back in the day that shock people,
But nowadays it's pretty common in Florida.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Well, since we're talking fun animal stories, have you seen
the and I don't believe it's real because I don't
believe anything's real anymore ever since a I a man's
taking the garbage out of his house and a big
old looks like a grizzly bear. I don't know. I'm
negraded identifying the different kinds of bears, except for polar
those are pretty easy. But big old bear just runs

(15:04):
right out him on the top of the stairs on
his porch, and it's got him down, and it looks
like this guy is toast. I mean, that's it, your
day is done. And then a cat, this you know,
little house cat, jumps up and like paws at the
bear's face, like scratches it with this little kitty cloth,
and the bear takes off running. And the caption you knows,

(15:28):
like this is gonna make you want to get rid
of your dog and get a cat. I'm pretty sure
it's not it.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
No, No, there's a lot of these videos where tiny
animals go after big bears and they succeed. There's a
famous one where I think it's two bears and a
French bulldog. Hang on, I got it on the screen here,
look at this tiny let all this happen.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
Hang I'm gonna rewind it so we can listen to
this here. They say it's not.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
The size of the dog in the fight, it's the
size of the fight in the dog, and that certainly
applies to jewels. The twenty pound French bulldog showed no
fear when these bears want it into her California front yard.
One of the bears was estimated to weigh more than
one hundred pounds, but they all ended up turning tail.
Gilezana says she is tougher than he realized.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
That's old, though. What year was that? It looks like
it goes back a few Uh, yeah, I was like
a decade ago. It was before AI. I believe that happened,
And I've seen other videos I believe happened where dogs
will chase off beers, the cat jumping up in midair
and scratching the little I just it just didn't look right.
But there's a good lesson to be learned there from this. Right.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
You know, you think somebody is a bully because they're
big and they can hurt you very often. The big
guy like that, he's the most scared. You don't have
to be scared a big bully. The French bulldog wasn't
you know, it's a. It's kind of a metaphor for life.
I think, billy and yeah, you know, or great way
to get your ass handed to you.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
I don't know. The big guy's not expecting you. Just
never know for sure.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
You uh, you never got into a fight with a
guy that was a little bigger than you.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
I did. I also got a fight with a guy
that was smaller than me, but he was and he
was actually wiry. That's when I first learned to beware
of the wiry. Not like you. No, I'm wiry, not
wiry like you think you are, but actual, really wiry.
This is what to call tendon strength. And man, I
gotta tell you, Uh, you ever come across one and

(17:20):
wiry dudes? You just you just mind your business. I
can live four hundred pounds bill. Yeah, I think that's
pretty wiry. You got him in as far as wiry goes,
I'm wiry. You don't. It's not no. If you look up.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
Wiry in the dictionary. Right there, it's just a picture
of me. It's me smiling a big old wiry eating
grin right there.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
I'll tell you what. Next wiry guy I run into,
I'm put him in a headlock. Drag him to the truck,
drive him down here and introduce him to you.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
Well, but if you did all that, he'd probably want
to fight you. Because you did that, he wouldn't want
to fight me. I know, plus us, plus us wiry
guys we stay together and sawid area. You know, if
I saw you pick it on one of my wiry brothers,
I'd have to take it.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
Well, of course you would, I would, all right.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
Everybody, imagine pigeons with little backpacks filled with marijuana delivering
the locations in New York City. It was a joke.
It was a marketing stunt, but some media outlets fell
for it. They actually reported on it. Fox five in
New Jersey ran the story. A retailer confessed it was
just a joke. Doesn't matter. Here's the promotional video the
company posted for Project Pigeon.

Speaker 4 (18:24):
My name is Jeff, I run the Coop. Today is
day fifteen of our pigeon delivery training program. We are
going to be using my carrier pigeons to deliver to
our customers in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens. We give them
a specific address and they come back.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Here to the coop. They're not flying arounds, Okay, they
have a homing device in their head.

Speaker 4 (18:47):
We do have to struck the customers to keep their
windows open.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
This is the beauty of the pigeon. You know, it's
interesting how gullible people are. Like.

Speaker 2 (18:56):
Some people think Christopher Columbus owned slaves. He never did.
He was uh you know. Some people think he was
looking for a way to get to Asia and he
got lost.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
That's not true.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
He was looking for a westward route to Asia, but
significantly underestimated the Earth's circumference in the distance Asia. He
was not lost, but had a flawed understanding of geography,
though his voyages did prove the feasibility of the transatlantic travels.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
Almost like you're just reading this verbatimulf of a story
on the Internet or something. Well, I just want to
remind everybody he said, you know for a fact, Christopher
Columbus never had slaves. You must have met the man,
hung out with him, spent some time with him. How
else would you know. You you read a story that
said he never had slaves, and you believed it, But
you could have also read a story that said he
did have slaves. If you chose to believe that, then

(19:38):
you would swear on your on your own your very soul.
Now said he was a slave owner. Now he wasn't
a slave. It depends on which story you were educated with.
Now you're wrong. I s Italian guys. We all know
each other, and you Italian guys all stick together. I've heard,
and so you know, if you were covering for Chris
the fact that he did own slaves, you would not

(20:00):
admit to it because you're sticking together.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
I know him, I know Christos Colombo, I know him.
You know, like a lot of Italian people, we have
the ability to travel through time. And Monday's Columbus Day.
Donald Trump called it down yesterday. That's right, Columbus Day.
It's it's official. Okay, it's back. It's not one of them.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
Let's let's dance around that and be politically correct or
woke or whatever it is you want to do. We're
just going on Columbus Day soon.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, And there's not gonna be any not gonna be any
more Indigenous People Day. We're wiping our ass with that,
kiss our ass, Indigenous People's Day.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
That's the way we wiped them out off of the
face of the earth.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
Right, It's the trail of tears two point zero crime
more Anyway, it's a great show on TV this weekend.

Speaker 5 (20:39):
Tonight on Bravo, it's time traveling Reality TV with Christopher Columbus.
Has he arrived with his crew from the Jersey Shore.

Speaker 1 (20:48):
Hi.

Speaker 5 (20:48):
Christopher Columbus claim of this land for Queen Isabel. Christopher
Columbus comes face to face with Reality TV hey boot
Ash in the bathroom on the Sata Maria.

Speaker 4 (21:02):
All I got to say is that bathroom wasn't in
the greatest condition that.

Speaker 5 (21:07):
Traveling with Christopher Columbus. When we get back home, we're
going to be heroes.

Speaker 2 (21:12):
Boy,