Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Jesus, don't these guys ever work? I mean, go to
work yet, get jazz up out of bedtime? Another rerun
on a third. Oh no, wait, that's my real voice,
that's you live.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I got it. I thought I was dreaming this for
a second.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I was wondering if you were going to make it
back from your political power enclave that you ducked into.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Okay, it's Thursday.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
It's August twenty first, it is twenty twenty one, and
we're really here right now. We're very upset about Biden's
real life. I'm kidding. No, don't worry, it's not a dream.
Trump is your president. It's fine, everything's fine, and we're
live today. We were off yesterday as we dealt with
a little political excursion, and that's so that's all done.
(00:42):
That's said and done. If you didn't notice, then surprise.
Yeah it's fine. But yeah, anyway, we're back at work today.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Kids. Don't worry, we're here.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Saw a fun little headline yesterday because for some reason,
people seem to be talking about California and how screwed
up Gavin Newsom's got that place. Of course, I'm pretty
sure it was screwed up before he got there, and
it's just more screwed up now. They said something like
two hundred and thirty nine thousand Californians have left the
(01:13):
state just recently, just because, as you know, we've been
talking about it, just the price of a U haul
truck to get out is much more expensive than to
move in. And then I noticed nationwide the twenty twenty
to twenty four voter registration data, Democrats lost four and
a half million voters.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Right, yeah, I looked at that half million.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I looked at that map too, And the one interesting
thing I noticed about is they said Illinois was not
one of the states with the highest numbers dropping, and
I thought, how could that be? So I looked at
it historically, it's dropped so much over the last decade
that over the last year or two, the shrinkage, I
guess it seemed to have slowed down on a little
(02:00):
because there was nobody left to leave, exactly.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
It gets to that point it diminishes quite a bit.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
And here's what this means, by the way, guys, with
all that, with what just happened in Texas obviously yesterday
that redistricting vote passed. Call it jerry mandering or just
call it correcting the map. If you want for these
blue states to do what Texas just did, they're going
to have to acknowledge that there's not as many voters now,
which would mean if they redraw the lines honestly, which
they wouldn't know, would there be less districts in these states.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Wait, I don't know if you guys want to.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Do this, it's uh, yeah, it's a it's a big move,
and it makes the redistricting in Texas look well, especially
the one in California, because, of course, Gavin Newsom says
he wants to do exactly what Texas did, and Jerry
Manner it was awful when Republicans try to do it,
but when Democrats do.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
It, it's all good.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
What's bothersome about that is that they they draw these lines,
get these new districts together based on racial profile of
the people that live there, racial cherrymandering, and it's almost
like they still believe that the black people and the
brown people are all going to vote Democrat every single
(03:15):
time according to these numbers, and according to what we've
seen in the presidential election recently, not true. Yeah, but
they're still basing it on how they set this up.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
It's very antiquated term, right because Trump came along and
he got black people and what they refer to as
brown people because the Muslims and the Mexicans are the same.
To Democrats are just no their skin cutors. You're say,
thirty three percent, a little more than one third of
black men in Texas are now Republicans, right, So you
don't you don't own them Democrats. But for California to
(03:47):
do what Texas just did, that would mean that California
would need to get millions of new voters from California.
I don't think that's logistically possible. I don't think so
as far as Latinos go. In this new story about
all the Democrats that have been lost, it was a
reliable voter block recently though, but registration is swinging Republicans Florida,
(04:10):
specifically Florida Democrats went from fifty two percent new registrants
for Latina to thirty three percent last year, fifty two
to thirty three. And if California redraws their districts, they
still might not have enough Democrats to make that district blue. Yeah,
(04:34):
which is what they're hoping because they think we'll just
create five Blue districts to match the Republican districts of Texas,
and I don't know if.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
They can do that.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
The other thing that's interesting about this is because everybody's
looking at Gavin Newsom right now. He's trying to he's
already running for president. Oh yeah, he's already got a
Twitter account, Gavin Newsom's press office, which is going to
be just exhausting to look at two over three years.
Now you're going to have that thing, right tweets. Okay,
but since I was just in Louisiana yesterday with the
governor looking at what was essentially economic growth, unemployment numbers
(05:09):
and stuff like that, it's amazing to think right now
Louisiana is Louisiana is crushing California unemployment rate, just the
raw unemployment rate is like, wow, California is in the
last place. I mean, people in California are struggling to
buy a home. People they're struggling to find jobs. And
then other things too. If you look at it, per
capita crime is worse. I'd be I feel safer in
(05:30):
New Orleans right now than I would in Los Angeles. God, yes,
which is not I mean, imagine telling somebody that ten
years ago. Education, you look at it for education, and
then if you look at it per capita, which I
know is obviously very racist, for things like investments, business investments,
and investments in infrastructure. Again, Louisiana crushing California. Louisiana, if
(05:54):
you're just looking at the trajectory of growth and quality
of living in what direction it's going in and where
you'd probably be some harder to invest or bring your family,
Louisiana a better choice right now than California. And I
say that fully acknowledging the California is one of the
most beautiful places in America.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Oh, California's just got the weather, the geography, get mountains
and canyons, beach beach should just all kinds of you know,
wine country and surfing and skiing and mountain climbing. Oh,
just everything you'd ever except it's just packed full of lunatics.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah, it's not fun to run on the beach if
it's covered in hypodermic needles. Nobody wants to go skiing
down a mountain of feces. Nobody wants to, you know,
attend a music festival filled with hoboes. California the Golden Country,
Golden Golden Shower State.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Had its moments, and then Gavin Newsom decides he's gonna
do a Trump impression. It's best way to get elected,
he thinks, is just make everybody pretty sure that he's Trump. Right,
only he does it by just hitting the all caps button.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, that's the joke, right, And then they explain it
out loud. They're doing a parody of one of the
most absurd people in America. Trump is funny. He's over
the top. He's the funniest president who ever lived. Even
people on the far left, my liberal friends will admit.
I'll send them a video of Trump being funny. They're like,
oh God, this pisses me off. It's so funny. Biden
never had those moments. Obama was never funny. Oh we
(07:25):
laughed a lot. So if you're doing it but not
anything he did on purpose, if you're doing an impression
of somebody that's already funny, if you're trying to make
do an absurd version of something that's already absurd, it
doesn't work. And then to top it off, they're explaining
the joke. They're like, for those of you that don't
get what we're talking about. Go look at some of
Gavin Newsom's tweets. He's writing his tweets, or I should
(07:47):
say his staff members are writing the tweets the way
Trump writes the tweets. And then after they tell the joke,
they're explaining the punchline. And I trust me, that's not funny.
The only time one that's funny is when the joke
doesn't hit. And then and then you got to ask yourself,
if you're explaining the joke every time, does that mean
it didn't hit every time?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
According to the Babylon b the reason that they went
with that is they they hired an autistic chimpanzee named Hank,
and he runs Gavin Newsom's Twitter account.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Now here's what's kind of awkward about that. Apparently the
chimpanzee voted Republican. He just needed the job because the
unemployment rates so high in California.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Works good day of the week, is it?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Well, let's see, it's Thursday, right, it's a regular Thursday, regular,
regular regular about it Walton and Johnson Radio Network.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
But we got a saying here on the wall in
Johnson Show, if it's too loud, yeah, you too old?
Speaker 2 (08:47):
No I thought it was if it's too loud, turn
it down.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Oh yeah, but it just put it at a more
acceptable volume for this time of day.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
It seemed like a decent idea.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
We are just noticing things happening in the world, and
we're trying to understand. Sometimes we misunderstood things from the
past we did. I want to play some traditional Scottish
music real quick to explain this next news story. There
we go, traditional Scottish music that sounds so Scottish. Yeah,
(09:18):
I know what you're thinking, Kenny. Are those African drums
you're playing?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Well?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Of course, a woman reported missing by her family in Texas.
I should have pointed out a black woman who her
family in Texas says has been missing, has found been found.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
She's alive. Oh good.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
She is living among a lost and I quote African
tribe in the Scottish woodlands.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
American woman with African tribe in Scotland.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
A group of black people living in the forest in Scotland.
They just moved in. Say that they are reclaiming their land.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Now, I don't know. I don't know if you're a
history buff or not. Do you follow that history thing?
Because it's this full of good stories. I have been
looking into this and it turns out people with and
I'm just forgive me here, I'm just being objective about
the truth. People with a very dark complexion technically would
(10:19):
be indigenous to the sub Saharan desert of Africa.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Oh not the forests of Scotland.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
However, the Kingdom of Kubala, I guess Wakonda has already
taken claim. They have settled in a forest in Scotland
called Jedburgh with the intention of reclaiming the land that
was stolen from their ancestors in the Highlands four hundred
years ago. I let everybody digest that, and then I'll
tell you the next insane part.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Who was the genius that figured out out what happened
four hundred years ago?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Oh, well, that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
It would turn out that would be the group's leader,
King Attathene.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
How did he become king? I wonder.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
They drew straws Steve, Yeah, I think, I think, I know,
maybe they just dropped pants. And no, he looks like
the king King at to Hanya. I'm sorry I said
his name wrong.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Excuse me.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I didn't want me to put an extra teal on there.
The king King at to Henya is a thirty six
year old man. He was previously a singer, living under
the name Coffee a Fey his wife.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Cafe. I mean these are it's like a made up language. Dude,
I don't Trump knows this guy. That's that's old bro,
He's king.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Who knew that? Trump one warning us about this. His
famous typo on Twitter turned out to have been a
prophecy from the future. King and his wife and I'm
sure you already know what I'm gonna say, Queen of course, Nandi, Yeah,
and their handmaid in osnot or as not or s
snot are all living together out in the forest there.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
He's just a wonderful people.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
And as I'm sure you could probably already guess, they
are dressed in robes. They are walking around with sticks
and using them as a makeshift weaponry. And I'm pretty
sure the British military is going to lose to these
three people because there are a bunch of little cuckold bitches.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
What are they going to do.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
When you're in the right you just fight with all
the might you can muster. I'm sure they're in the
right here.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Now, I know what you're thinking, are these like African
migrants that descended from some tribe that once invaded Scotland
four hundred years ago. Turns out that no, I ask
not Safie Carrara. They're all from Texas Caffe. They had
been reported missing by their family. The group said on
Tuesday that they don't recognize local laws and they have
(12:44):
faced persecution from those who understand their ways. Now there
are photos of them paying tribute to the king, and
this is my favorite part in God. This is one
of the rare moments I wish we were on TV.
Imagine a woman with dreadlocks, wearing a robe and beads,
bowing down before a man dressed in a similar way,
presenting him with a bottle of orange soda and a
(13:05):
box of cookie. Ginger snaps, Oh, that's what Ginger snaps.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
His traditional is the key to any man's heart is traditional.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Anyway, I'm sure that you're all going to wonder what's
going on with the tribe of indigenous black people out
in the forest of Scotland there, So don't worry.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
We it's your favorite morning show. It's weird.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
I've read a little bit about the history of Scotland
and England, and you know the troubles that they've had
over the years, and I don't remember a large a
band of Africans being involved in it at all.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
In any way, I think it's possible the reason why
they believe that black people created England or Scotland or
whatever it is they're trying to say, is because they
learned about ancient European history from a Netflix drama. What
day of the week is it, Well, let's see, it's Thursday, right,
it's a regular Thursday.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Regular, regular, regular. Walton and Johnson Radio Network