Duffman Retires - WED 9.1

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This was this was keep on, Keep on knocking. Take four.
Apparently there were three others. It's like the Model T huh, Well,
we all think of the Model Tea as being the
first car, but it wasn't. Well it was Model A,
yeah I think so. Yeah, what was our Model B?
Probably we don't know. Yeah, you never got to own one.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
No, and we never will. Yep, you never know.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
But you know, all that being said, sometimes it's fun
to look back at history, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Who was Portal Day?

Speaker 1 (00:30):
It's a daily tradition on the Walton Johnson Show Celebrity
Birthdays with mister Kenneth Away.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
One of the biggest celebrities in the world today. Of course,
Blue Ivy Carter is fourteen. Nope, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no no.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
You can't get on the list just because your parents
are famous if you've never accomplished anything. That little girl,
I'm sure she's a sweet little girl. I got nothing
against her.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
I bet she ain't so sweet. Well, she is a
rich kid, boiled brat probably sure.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
Her parents are literally billionaires and and they they frequently
talk about how unfair the world to them.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Okay, if you don't like Blue Ivy Carter's birthday. Then
let's move on to Michael Sam, the first gay, openly
gay player in the NFL, certainly not the first gay
player without looking at mister let I don't think that
one should count either.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Without looking at mister Kenneth's screen. Billy, a devout football fan.
What team did Michael Sam play for? I ain't got
the slatshed idea.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
And does anyone care? He played for the Los Angeles Rams.
That did not work out, so they cut him in preseason,
and the Cowboys took him under their wing briefly, and
then they cut him to and he went to play
in Canada and that didn't work out, so he retired
like a year later. So he's just famous for being gay. Yeah,
he's thirty six years old today. Oh for two Robert Shean,

(01:42):
he plays that guy Klaus in The Umbrella Academy. I
don't know if you ever saw that or not. Among
other things, he's thirty eight. Jeremy Rinner, you might consider
him a celebrity of some sort.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Would I probably would have started with Jeremy Renner. He
is fifty five now.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
The movies like Avengers an impossible hurt locker, but The
Paramount plus Mayor of Kingstown. Very uh well, violent but
entertaining show. They just wrapped up I guess season four
and they said season five is already slated to start,
but it will be the last season. So if you're
a Mayor Kingstown fan, you got one more round in you.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
And he survived getting ran over by a snowplow. Isn't
that amazing kind of hardcore? You look out there at
that mountain and like a SnowCat. Steve was out there
in the dark this morning, running up and down. That
was basically the kind of machine that Jeremy Rinter climbed
out of on his own property. Maybe a little smaller
version of you know, homeowner's version instead of a giant

(02:41):
ski resort, a homo version home owners.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Oh that's lling. When he got out of it, apparently
he was there to you know, help out was he did?
He save a family member, a child, right, and then
he ended up getting run over and it nearly killed him.
Dougie Doug from Cool Runnings, you're that movie, he's fifty six.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
Oh yeah, they were Jamaican. John Candy was in it.
Nicholas Cage is sixty two today. He's famous ran Paul
sixty three. Kathy Valentine played for the Go Gos.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
You know she she got the beat. She's sixty seven.
Donna Hughes, Donna Rice Hughes sixty eight. She had an
affair with Gary Hart while he was running for president
back in eighty eight, and that pretty much put it
into his attempts to be president. Things were different back
in the year. Things were different back in the eighties.

(03:35):
Katie Kuric is sixty nine nice.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
You know.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
You know what makes me sad is at some point
her her career has turned sad. I don't know if
you've seen her lately.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
So there's another thing that changed. Farts aren't funny anymore, right,
people don't eat pizza anymore. Downtown Dallas is turning into
downtown Detroit. And what were we just talking about? Tell
me what you just said again already faid? Oh yeah, Katie,
car sixty nine is no longer the funniest number. No,
Now it's that dropped it by a couple Now it's
six seven.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
That sucks. David Caruso maybe you've heard of him. I
just redheaded a hole. Well, yes, you've never been a
fan Robinson Carusoe no, David. He was the reason. He
was supposed to be the star of NYPD Blue when
it first came out. After one year, he thought he
was so big. He was so he walked away from

(04:25):
the show and thought he would become a Hollywood movie star.
Did not work out that way. He ended up back
on television years later. He's seventy now, sam O Hung
Marshall Law. He's an Asian guy. He's seventy four. Kenny
Loggin's birthday to day, he's seventy eight, okay, and no
longer with us. Screech from Saved by the Bill. Dustin

(04:47):
Diamond was his name. He died back in twenty twenty one.
Paul Revere.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
He was a cool guy, by the way. I've hung
out with Dustin Diamond. Oh he was a funny dude.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, until he was stabbing you in a bar.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
Didn't stab me, No, but he's spent months in jail
for stabbing a guy in a bar.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Okay, I forgive him. He didn't do it to me,
and he's dead. Paul Revere of Paul Revere and the Raiders,
also famous for that Beastie Boys song. Musicians. He gave
us the Indian reservation song. Remember that? Yeah, you probably don't.
Today is National Bobblehead Day? Anything else? Yeah, it's National
Irland Grove Trotter's National pass gast Day.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
But here's something that we didn't mention yet. It's National
Tempora Day. Oh I checked? That checked. The Japanese fry
and stuff, that's all that is.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
It's fried Japanese food. Why don't they just call it
fried Japanese food.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
They have a name for it, Believe it or not?
I guess yea. And now today in history, he brought
to you by me. That'd be law Tigers, wouldn't it.
Yeah A lot it is? Yeah, yep.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
Law Tigers one eight hundred tigers are lalltigers dot Com.
You drive a motorcycle, you get an accident, your insurance
company might act like they're on your side. Law Tigers
actually is.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
Yeah, how about that? All law Tigers dot Com one
one hundred wattigers.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
You have? How far backward going on this day in history?
Seventeen eighty five? What about you? Seventeen fourteen? You start
Henry mill patent did a new invention in seventeen fourteen.
Nobody had ever seen anything like this before. It was
the keyboard.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Like basically like a synthesizer. No, no, no keyboard like
on your computer right here.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Oh, I think he means a typewriter. Well, they called
it a typewriter back then. It eventually, you know, turned
into the keyboard. So the keyboard's three hundred and twelve
years old today. Okay.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Typewriters kind of like the vinyl record player, have had
a resurgence recently with young people. Apparently there are people
that will rent an airbnb just so they can work
on their screenplay. Oh boy, And very frequently they'll have
a typewriter in the airbnb because it makes the person
feel like they're you know, nostalgic, vintage.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
I guess, like there's some great author or something. But
typewriter resurgence is ironic.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Today's seventeen eighty nine. If you love American history, you'll
be gay for this. The first presidential electors. The presidential
electors were chosen on this day and in history, very cool.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
Who was it?

Speaker 3 (07:04):
You know?

Speaker 1 (07:04):
The electors, A whole bunch of them. I mean Biden
was in right, No, they picked the presidence like the right,
but he was one of the pickers. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
Billy id. Yeah. I think Pelusy might have been involved
in that too.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Today, in nineteen twenty seven, the Harlem glovetritter, as we
mentioned it earlier, that became a thing.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
Oh in nineteen thirteen, let's not forget about the magic
moving potion. What's that? A guy named Bill Burton got
a patent on something he called the magic moving potion.
We call it gasoline today, okay, and Standard Oil bought
this magic potion from mister Burton. I'm not sure how

(07:39):
much they gave him, but it was probably not enough.
How about that, because then they owned gasoline. If you
guys like stuff that blows up on this day.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
In nineteen fifty three, Truman announced America was developing a
hydrogen bomb.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
So don't screw with us. Whatever happened to it, Why
didn't we ever use one? We still got it? Well,
do we use them if you? I mean, you know,
sometimes you don't have to use it. You just gotta
show it off. How was that different from the atomic bomb?
It's hydrogen, that's atomic. Okay, Yeah, So a hydrogen bomb,
the H bomb is different than the A bomb. That's right.
Which one of them was the one that was supposed

(08:14):
to kill all the people, but leave the buildings standing.
Remember that we learned about that in school. Which one's
the one that makes all the frogs gay? Oh, that's
that's the truth. Bombs. There was a gay bomb. That's
what Alex Shown said. It makes the frogs gay.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
Today, in nineteen fifty five, Marian Anderson sings at the
Metropolitan Opera House, the first black woman to do so.
And today we still remember her name.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
What was her name? Again? I don't know.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
I just said it a second ago. Mister Kenneth threw
a quick anders.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
All that happens to be the same day that Charlie
Pride became the first Black American to sing at the
grandle Well the first black person. They called him an
African American, but he was able to sing at the
Grand ole Opry. They let him in and let him
on stage and everything. What year nineteen sixty seven, you know,
the sixties.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
Wow, Today in nineteen seventy nine is overthrown by the
Vietnamese troops.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
Hey, this sounds like something we could be revisiting one
these days soon. It was nineteen ninety nine. On this day,
Bill Clinton's impeachment trial started in the Senate House. Had
already impeached him. Well, and but Bill, Bill didn't care.
I don't worry about that today.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
Today, in eighteen eighty, if you like, liberal president's President
Carter signed papers for the US to loan Chrysler one
point five billion dollars.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
And they don't even give me a discount on a car. No,
they don't, they don't care.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Finally, today, in nineteen ninety, someone was smart enough to
close the leaning tower a piece that have fixed the
damn thing.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
Yeah, straight and that thing up. It looks like it's
about fall over. I don't know if they noticed. They
kept it leaning good notice, and if it didn't lean,
then nobody's gonna come see it. Today's also the six
year anniversary of the death of Neil Put. Neil Put,
and that means everybody's gonna have to start saying that
name again. And he died of brain cancer at the
age of sixty seven, the drummer for Rush, and a
lot of people say, maybe the best drummer of ever.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
You know what else A lot of people say, they say,
if there's time to lean, there's time to clean.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
That's what they say.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
Yeah, that's the thing that in Neil piertch I don't
think people ever say anything else.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
No, but they clean the leaning tower.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah, that's right, all cleaned up. If there's time to lean,
there's time for the leaning tower.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
It's not as good. You can.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
You can knock an American down, but you're not gonna
keep us down.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Walton and Johnson Radio Network have long hair. Throw it
around if you used to, just pretend to still have it,
throw it around.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
I don't know. This is punk rock from the eighties.
I don't know if it was really long hair music.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah, but you can still throw your hair around.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Hi, everybody, it's a holiday in Durango. Thanks for joining us.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
You know, I normally take a look at celebrity news
around this time of the morning, and we've talked about
some already, like Angelina Julie. Sure realized most of the
celebrity news we find interesting partly because we we can't
identify with their world ourselves, you know, having a twenty
five million dollar mansion, homes all over the world, flying
around in private jets, and all the things that come

(10:59):
with celebrity. And then I realized, I have a news
story here from the world of sports that you guys
aren't going to be able to identify with either to tough.
Former NFL player Matt Khalil is now suing his ex
wife over comments that she made on Twitter about his

(11:21):
junk being too big. Now I know you guys can't
imagine what that would be like. Well, you could sue
for that. You could sue people for anything. He is
suing her for up somewhere above over seventy five thousand dollars.
She said on Twitch the biggest factor in their divorce

(11:43):
was his manhood. She described it as two coke cans,
maybe even a third or part of anyway, he says, Oh,
he's so upset that she outed him for having a
big en. He says that it was degrading and deeply personal,
has caused unwanted attention and invasive commentary from the public,

(12:05):
and says his family has been negatively affected, especially his
new wife. That's the reason for the lawsuit. Right there.
He's probably still walking around going yep, yep, that's right.
But the new wife didn't care for the world finding
out from the old wife what he's packing, and so she,

(12:27):
you know, to make her happy. He's me sue and
the old wife. Hang on a second, Hang on a second.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
This would be like if your ex wife told everybody
you were really good at doing math or parallel parking
a car. So it didn't really seem like it's that bad.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
The new wife didn't care for it. That's the long
and short of it. If you'll pardon the expression, but
I'm bump yeah. And the old wife says, well, you
can still go see the quote. It's still a thing
and in the original livestream and it's still on YouTube.
She said, I speak very highly of him in multiple
ways throughout the conversation, and she thought telling the world

(13:05):
he's packing was it'sind of complimentary. I think most people
would think that, yeah, except the new wife. Well, she's
the whole reason for the lawsuit.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
Well, speaking of celebrities, yesterday was National Bean Day and
today's National pass Gas Day. We're nostalgic. We still think
farts are funny. In fact, we have a very special
guest here to celebrate.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Martha Stewart celebrates National pass Gas Day.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
So now I'm going to pick my butt.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
After cooking up some big beans and then cut cheese
and broccoli, it just goes like crazy.

Speaker 2 (13:40):
So now you're going to peel off one just put
one of these in a room and you're going to
get heady.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
Be careful about breathing in the fumes because are really strong.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
This is so much fun, you know, when you make borish,
it's always like this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
Meet the worst baby daddy on Earth. A Kentucky man
is facing charges after he stole his ex girlfriend's car while.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
She was giving birth to his baby. Oh good lord.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
Christopher Mollett showed up for the birth. Mullet, Mullett, Mullett,
m O L L E T T E. How would
you say that?

Speaker 2 (14:18):
No, I thought you said Mullet. Chris.

Speaker 1 (14:21):
Chris showed up for the birth of his baby, but
the hospital said he couldn't come in because of visitation policies.
The mom told him he could wait outside in her car,
and she gave him the keys. Okay, hight not have
to wait in the car well because waiting in the
lobby in the hospital. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense
to me either, But anyway, she gave him the keys
and she never saw him or the car again. Here

(14:43):
is Tyson Lockridge and the Pike, the Pikeville Police Department
public information officer talking about what happened.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
Upon the arrival of the officers to make contact with
a victim, and at that point they had reported their
vehicle had been stolen. He was going to see the
victim and he was not giving admittance into the hospital
due to visiting hours, so she said that he could
stay in the vehicle to stay warm. Wars were County.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
Oh sorry, the computer skip. I still think it'd be
warmer in the hospital waiting room. Yeah. I don't get
that either. Star running the car for the heater. That's stupid.
All right, YouTube, But I'm glad you mentioned Kentucky because
it reminded me real quick. I don't have the video,
but if you want to go find it, you said
you know a lot of these things, you need to
go look for me yourself. We'll give you the heads up.
There's a video of a giant snowman somebody built somewhere

(15:33):
in Kentucky, and some guy driving down the road thought,
wouldn't it be funny if I drove the car into
their snowman after that all that hard work and just
blood up. And so he did, and he drove his
car high speed across the lawn and into the snowman,
which was built around a tree stump. Huh. The car

(15:53):
did not farewell. I think the car looks worse than
the snowman does. Now, wow, poor guy. Hey, speaking of
poor guys, rest in peace to daf Man. Who daf Man?

Speaker 1 (16:04):
The Simpsons have retired a long time character, yeah, voiced
by hankas Are you? They retired him last weekend during
a parody of the Apple TV series Severance called Separance?

Speaker 2 (16:17):
Do you ever watch Severance? I could try it and
it depressed me. I tried, and I just I was
not even slightly interested in what the next episode might contain.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
With the exception of Ted Lasso, most Apple TV shows
are too emotional and depressing for me. And it's very
and that network's very popular with white, affluent liberals. Are
they just depressed all the time? And this speaks to them?

Speaker 2 (16:40):
Anyway.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Duff Man's known for his catchphrase, oh yeah. He announced
his role as the mascot and chief spokesperson for Duff
Beer will be retired and instead he's just gonna go
by Darry but Barry Duffman for now. Then, Hankazari has
been doing that voice for a long time. Well, yeah,
a lot of them. The Deff Corporation has retired it,
and uh.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
Is to the Deaf Brothers. I don't know. Well, I
mean I don't think so. No, they got all that money.
They might have a beer company.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
Henkasaria also voices most says Lack Chief Wigham, Superintended, Chalmers,
Comic Book Guy, and Snake the Jailbird, but he says
he dreads doing duff Man the most because it hurts
his voice.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
Ah, well, then he shouldn't do all those voices. He
should just talk like himself. Yeah, just be normal.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Well, you know, to your point, he had to get
his vocal cords insured. He said he once had his
vocal cords insured because he blew out his voice for
two weeks from doing the tof Man voice on the
animated show.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
That he should have quit back then, shouldn't he. Yeah? Anyway,
Rest in peace, duff Man.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
You are no more a uh born in nineteen ninety seven,
died in twenty twenty six.

Speaker 2 (17:45):
You are no more. We'll miss you. Sad, isn't that?
It really is so much sadness in the world. I
don't know if cartoon TV shows really need to be
adding to it.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
Yeah, well, we try to do our best, you know,
like we try to make kids safe, like this woman Dad.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
Frientley reminder that eat is a battery. A child can't
eat key batteries away from children.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Eat as many batteries as you possibly can't sell.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
I don't know if that's good advice. Don't do that.
They'll eat right through the lining or your stomach. For
one thing, did you guys know that AI is racist? Uh?

Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, it really hates white people. Why do you think
chat GPT thinks Nigerians are worth more? I bet there's
a good answer to this.

Speaker 2 (18:22):
I bet there is.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, tax deductions. If you work at a big corporation
and you hire a white guy, you don't get anything.
You don't meet your dyah quota. But if you hire Yeah,
but if you hire a gay, trans Nigerian or something
like that, you have now satisfied some antiquated federal guideline.
Nobody knows about that. It entitles you to a very

(18:45):
generous tax. Right off, there you go, and chat GPT
doesn't understand that. It just knows that one of these
things is worth more than the other.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
Right, no reason to put anything basist behind it. That's
the thing.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
AI can't be racist. Computer programmers can be racist.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
You get out with you put into it, right, crap
goes in, crap comes out. Since we're talking to Hollywood
news and celebrity and showbiz and all that kind of stuff,
The guy that allegedly murdered Rob Reiner and his wife
is due in court out in Los Angeles this morning.
You mean Nick Reiner. Yeah, their son Nick. They've also
taken him off suicide Watch. He was on suicide Watch.

(19:19):
They would check on him fifteen every fifteen minutes, and
he had some kind of I don't think it was
a straight jacket, but he had some kind of a
little outfit that he had to wear that would prevent
him from being able to kill himself.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
And now he gets to wear the regular jail smock.
I bet I know why he's not suicidal anymore.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
Why is that?

Speaker 1 (19:34):
Well, apparently he really loves doing drugs. Oh, and he's
been in jail this all time. Yeah. I don't know
if you guys know this, but apparently in jail a
lot of gay sex and drugs, I'm told.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
And it works out nice. They took him off suicide
Watch just in time to run him out in front
of the judge in the Los Angeles Superior Court sometime today.
He will be urigned facing two counts first degree murder
with the special allegation of u using a knife. For
some reason, the weapon you choose to kill your parents matters.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
So the knife is worse than what poison or a
brick I don't know, but not as bad as a gun.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
I'm guessing, well, nothing is as bad as a gun. Boy.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
Thank god for California, because if it wasn't for them,
we wouldn't know that killing someone with one inanim meant
object was somehow worse than murdering someone with another inanimate object.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
So I'm sure there's probably some objects that it's okay
to kill people with if if they have a list
of things that are like, starting with guns real bad.
Knife also pretty bad. You know, a brick bad? Where
do we get to the point where if you just
used like.

Speaker 1 (20:38):
A you mean like maybe a marital age or a
wan massager massage or can it says so right on
the box, Bob goes Topgabra

Speaker 2 (20:46):
Walton and Johnson Radio Network