Florida Man Crashes Jail With Gator - MON 8.1

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right. Coming up at the bottom of the hour here,
Congressman Wesley Hunt will be joining us to talk about
what will probably be the biggest news story in Texas
politics today that will make it so wow. I think
it's already happened. Wesley Hunt announced earlier this morning he
is going to challenge Senator John Cornyn. He is entering
the Senate race. It is now a three man race
between Paxton, Cornyn, and Hunt. That'll probably be the biggest

(00:23):
Senate race in America next year at two and a half. Man,
What do you say? That's so good, Billy? I really
liked that, but it was funny. Didn't even know never mind,
Oh no, that was good. Well, you know he eat
that much of them at all, I'm saying, not Wesley.
You know. Well, I like Paxton, I like Wesley. Yeah,

(00:43):
and then there's that half. I wish I had thought
of that. I would have tweeted it. We got to
get busy. That's coming up in a half hour. But
we also got Florida man, And you said you promost
kicked off the playing story, and then you know other
such things that might come up occasionally. Well, you know,
since I haven't sitting on my screen here and it's
been here for quite a while. Why not? Yeah, do

(01:04):
you want to start off with that? Here's let's do
it all right, Fire it up, boys, it's the worst
intro and talk radio panel. A plane kicked off a plane.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Here's some money got kicked up a plane that's brought
to you by brother you a by drugs restaurant. As
a matter of fact, they just opened up for breakfast and.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Metaori right now.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
I mean, if everybody got there on time, and I'm
assuming they did, or Tommy'll you know, he'd give them
a belt.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
Uh So, if.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
You got a drug os restaurant in your town, just
you know, be thankful that you're living a special life.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
If not, you haven't sent to you you know, two
and a half man. That's hilarious, that's cute, all right.
A New Jersey bound plane was forced to divert after
an unruly passenger that's always in the new story. Wearing
over a dozen face masks. What began ranting about how
gay people were giving him cancer? Okay, there's a lot

(02:00):
to unpacked.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Suddenly, how can you even tell what they're saying with
twelve masks over their face?

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Okay, so the sun County Airlines that I know a
lot of you haven't heard of that. It's an airlines
that just goes to odd places. Yeah, I want to
get on. It'll take you from Rockford to Fort Myers
for some reason. Boy, it was flying from Minneapolis to
Newark on Friday, but I had to wigand in Chicago
after a wacko's raving escalated into screams and the shouting,

(02:27):
the plane is going down. That'll really alarm people.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Okay, so it wasn't just the gay thing. Yeah, Also,
the plane is gonna crash. I don't think i'd say
going down. I think I would just say crash.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
One passenger on the plane, a guy named Seth Evans,
was sitting across the aisle from the crazy person, and
he says that the cast all started the moment the
plane took off. This guy starts raving about being gang
chased by gay people.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Did the Yeah, and a seat next to him or
on the is there he he just telled him to
pipe down. Sometimes you just tell people to pipe down
and then you got no more problem.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Nip it in the butd that's a good one to
the man was screaming, saying that he was being radiated
and cooked by gays, and that they were giving him cancer. Now,
in his defense, maybe he was just getting glared at it.
There's no proof that he was wrong about that. Okay.
Perhaps to stave off the supposed onslought, the crackpot was
wearing no less than fifteen masks over his face. According

(03:20):
to the report, At one point, the man even announced
that Trump was there. But the screaming diluted conspiracies wasn't
all the man was good for. Between each outburst, he
buckled down and played a round of Candy Crush on
his phone before standing up and mounting off again at
top volume. Okay, I see, Yeah. Once the game was over,
apparently his declarations were made about the plane crashing, and

(03:43):
so they landed it O'Hare International Airport.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
Let's see, we don't know, it might have crashed if
they hadn't landed it. He might have saved everybody's life.
And so the cops hauled him off. The US marshals
took him off the plane. Yeah, and then they began
their journey again to Jersey. And that's another edition. I've
kicked off a plane. No, it's always stupid.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
I'm so glad I'm not there when most of these
things happened. Kicked off a plane is a little bit
like the Titanic. You know it's going to happen at
the end, but you still want to check out the story. Sure,
you gotta watch. Did you guys think that Steak and
Shake was going to become the most based red pilled
fast food or restaurant in America?

Speaker 2 (04:17):
Had no idea their political stamps or leanings one way
or the other. It's Steak and Shake. Why would I care?
But apparently I should.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Steak and Shake's always been there and I never thought
much about it. It's pretty good. I thought, you know,
it's not like my favorite, but I like it. And
back during COVID, they were one of the chains that
took a big hit. Fifty seven restaurants were shut down
in the spring of twenty twenty, and it must have
really upset management because at some point they decided to
go all pro Trump red pill beef tallow, you know,

(04:48):
no mercury or it was this thing they don't like
in the water flora, all right, yeah, yeah, Anyway, they
came out and they said they're going to do beef
tallow instead of canola and now this now we learned
Steak and Shake plans to install large American flags at
all their locations, and they also recently mocked Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
I'm guessing that's controversial putting American flags outside your restaurant.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
It shouldn't. It shouldn't be, but you know it is.
It certainly is. Yeah, Steak and Shakes bade this big
announcement that they're going to intentionally put American flags all
over the place, right up in your face. Deal with it.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
Yeah, and why'd they make fun Well, they made fun
of Cracker Barrel because they went woke, and then they
turned around and decided that's probably not a good idea.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
And they put up a billboard to tribute Charlie Kirk
not long ago, and they were making headlines for that.
Apparently that upset people when you go out and say
it's wrong to murder people for the crime of having
polite public discourse.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yeah, he didn't share my opinions with me. He got
to die. Yeah, well, this ties into a story I
wanted to bring up from last week. You guys don't
mind if we back up on something for a second.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
But sure, that's kind of your thing. Go ahead, Yeah,
back up on.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
It, and it came out last week, but we had
other things going on. The CEO of American Eagle another
at company advertising that started quite a bit of controversy
with Sidney Sweeney and her jeans, that whole thing back
in the summer. The CEO of American Eagle is defending
her and defending his company and their style of advertising.

(06:17):
He said, first of all, being Jewish himself, he is.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
Not unused to.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
You know, being attacked for certain things. And he said
this was in no way intended or even unintentionally racist
or any other thing that they kept saying it was,
and it actually was quite effective. Turns out, American Eagle
Genes now has about one million new customers between July

(06:46):
and September. Yeah, so worked out. Okay, doesn't surprise me.
We were talking this weekend about how what was it?
Originally it was Budweiser was the most popular beer, and
then they transed it up and then it was Medello,
but then all the immigrants got deported. Yeah, they're probably
still drinking it that He's not drinking it here anymore.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
So now it's Mitchell obultra Mitch. Yeah, I know a
lot of you said that that way, that would have
been Sylvester Turner made that point, the former mayor of Houston, Texas. Yeah.
He famously said his favorite beer was Mitchell Oo Ultra. Yeah,
Mitchel Ultra. Yeah. There you go. He's great, isn't he. Oh,
one of the best. Rest in peace, boy, you know

(07:27):
he died, so you be nice. No, no, no, we
wish you know, mish no harm on him wherever he
is now, certainly in heaven. I'm sure, of course, a
guy like that, all that public service over the years,
never taken a bribe or getting involved in any kind
of you know, do any weird living, living a double
life as a secret closeted gay man, or you know whatever. No,

(07:48):
I'm sure he's you know, yeah, I'm sure he's It's
not for me to judge. I'm sure he is. Quick reminder, kids,
This Saturday, October eleventh, we're gonna be doing live stand
up comedy at Lovebirds in Waco, Texas. Get ready for
a night of laughter, love, and everything in between. It's
going to be filthy. Yeah, it'll offend some people. I
feel like we have to prepare people for that because
some people didn't know there'd be dirty jokes on Saturday,

(08:11):
and one person was a little upset about it.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
Well, probably more than one in Waco. If they show up,
it won't be upset, you know. I got a lot
of baptist up there and everything.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Tickets available at couples Therapy Live dot com. It's a
Couple's therapy, a relationship themed comedy show where two middle
aged men talk about their genitalia.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
In no way at all prepares you to become a
couple or extend your relationship if you are already are
a couple. This is in no way helpful.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
No, I think it is helpful because date night, right,
Uh huh, date night's always good for a healthy relationship.
And then also when you see how unhappy all the
men are in the comedy show who are divorced and alone.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
Yeah, but if they bring their wives or girlfriends, then
it's not going to get better. Matter of fact, there
were several men who got in trouble at last night's
comedy show. They were at the table near me and
they were laughing at what their wives their girlfriends thought
was a very inappropriate time to be laughing.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure. Whatever it was, it wasn't
that bad. What was it? Oh, it was just you know,
that whole anti woman thing. No, it wasn't anti woman.
We were just saying that women are great at folding
fitted sheets and making sandwiches. By their pact.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
There was a gal there last night who was going
around bragging about the fact that she did both of
those things earlier that.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Day, and I was really impressed by it too. I
got a little teingly just then and next to her.
In the meantime, experts say that we will look back
at September twenty twenty five as being the peak of
social media. According to a new report, AI is about
to take over social media, blurring the lines of reality
and computer made fantasy. So I guess enjoy reality all

(09:57):
last social media.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
You remember when videos had humans in them. Thanks to
AI generated influencers, you can now follow people who don't exist,
living perfect lives that never happened, selling products they'll never use.
So if you see a flawless person doing a dance
in front of an Eiffel Tower while reviewing a sandwich,
just remember.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
Get.

Speaker 3 (10:19):
Social media.

Speaker 1 (10:22):
And I feel slimed.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
This message brought to you by reality. Enjoy it well
at last?

Speaker 1 (10:26):
You know what us.

Speaker 3 (10:27):
Ultraliberals say lies are okay, Welton and Johnson.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
All right, so apparently we have a big guests coming
in here shortly. But before we get to any of that,
I've just stumbled on to something that has changed my
entire day, maybe my week, probably the whole year. Well,
this sounds very important. I have found a startup. I
may have to quit this job. I have just found
a smartphone app. I can't wait to invest in. Uh okay,

(10:54):
I'm gonna take everything out of my four oh one
k A small I don't even know what it is yet,
but it's small, go all in. It's called the hell
Yeah App. It's a new startup start out out of
Silicon Valley, and we actually call it the Silicon Loop.
It's people that live these It's not really Silicon Valley.
It's a bunch of guys that live over here in
the Montrose neighborhood there nearby. Yeah exactly, Yeah, anyway, listen

(11:16):
to this. It's called the hell Yeah App.

Speaker 4 (11:18):
It sounds just created the most phenomenal workflow you'll ever see,
called the hell Yeah Simulator. But this automation will have
an alarm at six forty five every single morning. And
it will automatically post rise and Grind to all of
your social media platform nice. Also, five minutes after the
alarmist posted, it will set Spotify to play Man in
the Box by Alison Chains. Every single morning, this automation
will auto reply to every text with can't talk grinding.

(11:38):
First thing in the morning, ISS will door dash beer
and cigarettes to your door. It will automatically time it
so that when the beer and cigarettes arrives, the uber
API orders an uber directly to the casino. During the
ride to the casino, a few different functions will happen. First,
it we'll go through the sports betting arbitrage. Anytime you
get a sports betting win, it will send out social
media blag about how good you are a sports betting
Then it connects to my Facebook marketplace. Lowball automation will

(12:00):
strictly low ball ten thousand harleys per hours. We'll also
automatically swipe right on every dating profile within fifty miles.
Every night, for lunch and at dinner, it will more
do you steak and a white Monster? We have a
chot bought that will automatically argue with people in local
Facebook groups. Finally, we'll start the eBay flipper bought, which
will buy ball contactable gear and try.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
And flip it. There's a lot for one app. That's
a lot, but it's gonna do all the things you
wanted to do today anyway, So that's why why not
just have the app. It's gonna post rise and grind.
It orders you beer, it places bets for you. I
love the fact that it'll reply to every text you receive. Yeah,
with can't talk grinding. It goes onto Facebook marketplace and

(12:40):
it finds all the Harleys and then it low bids
it nice just in case one guy's life. You never know,
you might get lucky. You can sell a thirty thousand
dollars Harley for ten thousand or where you could buy
it for that you know who. That app reminded me of. Yeah,
one of our comedians last night was really depressed sitting
in the corner of the room staring at an iPad
during a football game. I don't want to say who

(13:01):
it is, but we don't want to see who it is.

Speaker 2 (13:03):
But he kept back to me if I didn't want
to go down with him on one of these beds,
you know, like we could poole our money, which I
think meant my money.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Everybody's friend group has one degenerate gambler, and usually in
his defense, he's normally very good at sports betting. Usually
we go anywhere. It was a wild weekend football, pro
and college. It was. It was, it's a wild game.
I'll give you a hint from the lineup last night.
It wasn't Chad Prather, Ericnoles, Steve Johnson's Kenny Webster. It

(13:32):
was one of the other comics. Huh, no way to know.
Normally he's chipper and cheerful at a stand up comedy show.
Till last night he was just looking sullen and sad
in the corner, staring at his iPad with his frown
on his face. How much money did you lose, Babo? Well,
it ain't over yet, is it. I've used a lot more. Anyway,
he may or may not be in Waco this Saturday

(13:54):
with us. So I love birds, So come hang with us.
It'll be fun. That'd be fun. Yeah, that'll be a
great time anyway, if you just make it up. Where
you been? Yeah, where you been?

Speaker 2 (14:02):
You missed a lot of show, and you had missed
a Florida man story. Though you lucky you got here
just in time for that.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
Well, you know, if you ever miss any minute of
the show, there is a smartphone app you can doubtla
true and it is affordable. What is the price on
our smartphone app? It is It has.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Gone up like everything else since the pandemic. It is
now free.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
Yeah, we doubled the price from zero time to zero
times two. Here comes here comes to Florida. Man.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
Well, if you write a lot of Johnson's smartphone app,
I suggest you go and snagg it because you know
it is still free.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
All right, We're off to Florida. Which region of the state, Well,
they say Central Florida, but I'm sure they can narrow
that down for US.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Deputies there say a forty two year old man sparked
what they are referring to as chaos at the county jail.
Oh no, he was a shirtless stormed into the jail
holding a live alligator and demanded that the officers release
his cousin immediately.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
I don't think that's how it works, sir, but you know,
he thought it was worth a try.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
They said.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
He had shown up earlier in the day at a
nearby gas station, where he tried to trade that same
alligator for a six pack of beer, and the guy
at the clerk he wasn't going to do that. When
that didn't work, he reportedly drove straight to the jail,
burst through the lobby doors, and introduced his reptile as.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
His legal counsel.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
This is my lawyer, and he says, let my cousin
out of jail.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
The folks there at the jail asked him to leave.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
That's when he slammed the alligator on the counter and
said this gator passed the bar, and then he attempted
to climb over the reception desk. At that point, the
deputy said, all right, that's enough of this ass clown.
They wrestled him to the ground, confiscated his gaiter, and
then ended up charging him, believe it or not, with
resisting arrest, unlawful possession of a gator trespassing on jail property.

(16:08):
The gator was unharmed and released back into the wild
where it can munch on somebody's poodles.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
And the suspect has been booked.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
With a seven thousand dollars bond and it is not
payable in reptiles. They will want probably a money order.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Really, can't you can't pay in reptiles. Huh what did
they do recently?

Speaker 2 (16:30):
There?

Speaker 1 (16:30):
They said you can now use gold and silver as currency.
Oh really, but not but not an alligator.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
And don't dig it out of people's teeth just because
they have fillings. That's not gonna that's not gonna go.
Well mm mmm mmmm Well it didn't.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
Work, No, it Sutain didn't. Boy, I'm beginning to think
these Florida people are, you know, upset. His cousin must be.
I mean, he probably told him.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
He's that I got a fool proof plan of getting
you out and then it didn't work.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
And that cousin's probably also his dad. The sermonted even
more confusing. It's Florida, after all, what are you going
to do? All right? So in the meantime, the energy industry,
the Shell US chief is super salty with Trump. What
did Trump do wrong? He is halting all of the
wind projects, and Shell says that's going to hurt all
of our investments. I think what it's actually gonna hurt

(17:20):
is your ability to kill whales off the coast of
New Jersey. The Trump Administration's decision to halt fully permitted
offshore wind energy projects is very damaging to investments. According
to Shell US president, oh I just figured it out.
Collect huh. Yeah. The woman in charge of Shell here
in the United States, what's a woman's her name is

(17:43):
Collette and she was all in on wind projects. She
thought win projects were a real good idea. She probably
told all the investors and the people, the board members,
and this is great. Don't worry. Trump will never win.
He's never it's not don't Kamala is going to be
all in on wind energy. Sure going to hurt.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
That's just like when I told everybody that, you know,
don't worry about all the crimes and misdeeds are doing.
Hillary's gonna win and she'll overlook all of it. And
then Trump wone, and oh my god. They had to scramble.
They had to figure out quick tell a bunch of
lives about Trump to distract from all of the crimes
we've been doing.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
Back in August, the Trump administration canceled six hundred and
seventy nine million dollars in federal funding for twelve offshore
wind projects. Now, I'm sure a lot of you probably agree.
If someone wants to have a win project somewhere and
it's their Land. Fine, but if you want to do
it out in the Golf of Mexico and you also
expect me to pay for that, I'm sorry. The Golf
of America, I think it says the Golf of Mexico

(18:37):
in the article burs it does. You're right. Over the
weekend I heard Fox News refer to it as the
Department of Defense. Oh that's not right. I remember thinking
of all the news cable news networks to get it wrong.
I would have thought, you guys, you know Pete Hegsatt.
Didn't he work here? It's not nobody you guys know him.
Surely you know he changed the name. I would think so. Anyway,

(19:00):
has listed London listed showing plays more than eleven thousand
people in America. It is the largest producer of oil
and gas in the Gulf of America, they claim, And
we do need it, you know, cause that wind ain't working. Man.

Speaker 2 (19:12):
Well, one of the guys last night at the comedy
show had a hell of an idea, though, when we
build the bigger, better wall at the border for Texas,
build it, texascise go a little bigger than Trump was planning.
And he said, then at the top we put them
windmills they got out there in West Texas for energy
and stuff. They got plenty of them down in the

(19:33):
valley too. It'd be a lot closer to truck them over.
So we get the big wall and at the border,
and then we put the windmills up there a spinning,
and that just adds one extra little level of excitement
for you know, whoever's trying to sneak over the wall. Yeah,
because you know you're working on climbing up the wall.

(19:54):
You get up to the wall, you throw a leg over,
you throw the other leg over, and then that windmill
comes along, so they're right back to the ground.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
You know what. That seems okay with me. Who would
have a problem with that? I don't know, Unica or
somebody I would imagine.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yeah, somebody is gonna have a got a problem with
everything these days.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
Well, did you try telling UNICEF to kiss our ashes
that and maybe cut them in for a little bit
of the profits. Yeah, you know, because that's a show
you're gonna want to televise right there, got to break
one nine. I'm the CB Savage High all you eighteen wheelers.
Anyone seen any smokey bears? How about some bear smokies
Walton and Johnson