Hilarious Instant Karma Videos - THU 9.2

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
You can make them safe places to live in.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
So your pal Gavin Newsom calls this an abuse of power,
that this is just a power grab and this is
all stunt for show, and that you all are going
to roll through other cities. You've heard things a ouh
with martial law is going to be declared into that.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
You say, well, so what, first of all, how is
it a power grab or how is it a stunt?
When we've already declined murders by thirty five percent and
nine days how many people are living and breathing today
because Donald Trump had the willpower to say, you know what,
we're sick of DC being a home to lawlessness.

Speaker 4 (00:32):
What did you just said one out of every three
murders didn't happen. Imagine that and they're mad.

Speaker 5 (00:38):
Yeah, imagine imagine knowing somebody would have died yesterday but
now won't, and then the Democrats got mad about it.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
How about up yours.

Speaker 4 (00:46):
Nine days ago, Let's say X. If you're good at algebra,
here we go X number of people died nine days later.
The number of people that died is represented by why
X is greater than why because of Trump. That's why, no,

(01:08):
okay wasted.

Speaker 5 (01:09):
It ahead, right, Sometimes I'm not sure about you, and
then you go ahead.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Did you just exceed all my expectations? You know that?

Speaker 4 (01:17):
Okay, I'll start over as promised earlier. Here are some
of the questions from the Oklahoma Teachers Test. The teachers
moving into Oklahoma from very liberal states California and New
York especially have to pass a test or they don't

(01:37):
get a teaching certificate for the state of Oklahoma.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Now.

Speaker 4 (01:41):
Some of them are things like multiple choice, select from
a series of which chromosome pairs determine biological sex?

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (01:51):
God, and you've probably have four usually multiple choices like four,
you know this and this, this this or this and this.
But really they're they're letting them know that they're not
going to get in here and start teaching about eighty
two genders to the Oklahoma kids.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Sorry, sorry, eighty Here.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
Freedom of religion is brought up in the test, freedom
of not freedom from freedom of Yes. One of the
questions is, and I'll let you handle this one, Okay,
what are the first three words of the Constitution?

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Oh, damn it, don't do that to me.

Speaker 4 (02:31):
No, don't don't type anything into your computer. Are we
the people that was pretty quick.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
I didn't type it, I just knew it.

Speaker 5 (02:38):
I was about to because it might that you didn't
look at my screen, and suddenly you did look at
my screen. I didn't have because I didn't want to
confuse it with the declaration of independence.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
But it is we the people, isn't it? All right? Now?

Speaker 4 (02:49):
Name two chambers of the US Congress.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Okay, the two chambers would be the Senate in the house.

Speaker 4 (02:55):
Okay, you're going to get to be a teacher. It
looks like how many senators are there?

Speaker 1 (03:00):
One hundred? You pass? Thank you?

Speaker 4 (03:02):
Well, I don't know. There's fifty questions? You just you
got two and a half. Yeah, all right, well you
know that's it's not nothing there.

Speaker 5 (03:08):
But to be fair, I am a super radical genius.

Speaker 4 (03:12):
How excited would you be to hear that Ferris Bueller
is getting back together with Cameron?

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (03:20):
I like that.

Speaker 5 (03:20):
I'd be interested. But is it one of them a
liberal squish now? Or I guess they both are. All
of them hate John Hughes. They don't like John Hughes,
especially Molly Ringwald. It's been almost forty years since Ferris
Bueller's day off, and now they are working together again
in a new comedy film called The Best is Yet

(03:40):
to Come. They're filming it now, so I don't know
what it's about or anything other than look, there's well,
my computer.

Speaker 4 (03:46):
Wants to show me things I don't want to see.
There's Ferris and his best buddy. Yeah, but what do
you need them for? You got me right here.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
You got old and we didn't. And that's true. I
never do get old.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Now.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
I am the Ferris Bueller of radio. I'm just saying,
how is that exactly?

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Well?

Speaker 5 (04:03):
You know, I hang out with everyone, I get along
with everyone, and I'm from the North suburbs of Chicago,
and I'm good at not doing my job and still
succeeding at things for some reason.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
There you go. It's very strange. I it works.

Speaker 5 (04:13):
I win even when I'm losing. I don't think it's fair.
I'm good at talking my way out of a situation.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
Isn't fair? I know it's not. I don't know's.

Speaker 5 (04:20):
I have that one talent getting out of trouble, and
it has worked for I don't have much else going
for me, but I got that.

Speaker 4 (04:26):
Did you ever see the movie Wind River? It was
a Taylor Sheridan movie.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
Oh yeah, Wind River. No, no, it was the thing
you did before he got famous. R Yeah, yeah, yeah, Steve.
It's like one of Steve's favorite movies. It was a
really good one. Indian Reservation, Indian Girl.

Speaker 4 (04:43):
It's got all the people that are in all his
shows in it, right, Yeah, a lot of the same ones.
I'm about twenty seventeen, so I got excited because I
thought it was a really good movie too. And I
read that they're doing a the Next Chapter. I don't
know if they're gonna call it. Oh yeah, it's called
the Next Chapter, Okay, a sequel that will have a

(05:05):
couple of the people that were in the first one
in it, but not any of the people that you
probably know, like Jeremy Renner.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Well, they're all too fans. Now, Elizabeth Olsen, wasn't that
her name? I like her?

Speaker 5 (05:17):
No, Elizabeth Olsen is the Olsen twins sister. You're thinking
of a different Olson now it's Elizabeth. Is it really
whom I thinking of?

Speaker 1 (05:23):
I don't know. I don't know anything wrong, Okay.

Speaker 4 (05:25):
Anyways, about the murder of a young woman on the
Wind River Indian Reservation, and there were some you know,
oil workers, some roughnecks or whoever were up there and
some criminals and it just ooh, it's really good and tense.
What's weird is it doesn't have anything to do with
Taylor Sheridan are any of the real stars of the show.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
So Elizabeth Olsen is in wind River, man, I need
to watch that. Yeah, you really should.

Speaker 5 (05:50):
I put it on once a long time ago. I
think when we were in Colorado and then I got high, and.

Speaker 4 (05:54):
Remember that you turned it on and then you immediately
ignored it. No, I think I got high, thought well,
there's a good show right there. No, I think I
got high and I fell asleep.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
Is what happened. That would be ignoring it, wouldn't. It
had been skiing all day. Give me a break.

Speaker 5 (06:06):
Hey, sometimes racists are really clever. And I'm not saying
I endorsed this. I'm just saying this was very clever
what they did. Y'all are familiar with what Epic City was, right,
it was the I remember East Plano Islamic City, and
I think for the time that mixed use development centered
around a Plano mosque has been paxton blocked for lack
of a better term. Okay, but there's this all white

(06:30):
settlement in Arkansas. The liberal news media lies to you
about what it is. They call it an all white town.
That's not what it is. It's like forty people living
on a compound, so it's not a town at all.
It's like some private property where there's a bunch of
white supremacists living in rural Arkansas. You probably wouldn't even
know they were there if the liberal media didn't keep
talking about it. But they just came up with a

(06:50):
great talking point to defend why they're doing it. And
for the record, I agree with none of these people
on what they're actually doing. I'm just pointing out they're
using the left's logic against them. They asked these white
supremacists living on a compound with forty people, why they
think this is okay? And they said it was actually
inspired by Epic City. We were just going to do
what those Muslims in Dallas were going to do, and

(07:11):
you guys thought that was fine.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
So why is it any different when we do it?
Now they're stuck with an answer?

Speaker 5 (07:18):
And look, for the record, I live in one of
the most diverse places in the world.

Speaker 1 (07:22):
I live in Houston, Texas. It is there are no
minorities here.

Speaker 5 (07:25):
We got a little bit of everything sprinkled in, and
I choose to live here. I don't care if there's
people or I don't care. I don't you feel like
maybe you are the minority? I mean, I mean I do.
I mean yeah, tall, handsome, funny, rich, Yeah, I mean
there's not a lot of people like me.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
I agree, Well that's me. Now what about you? Oh
you son of them?

Speaker 5 (07:43):
But anyway, you got to admit, these white supremacists are
pretty clever to come up with that. They asked them
this question. The New York Times reached out. They're like,
how dare you guys get together? And then the white
supremacists were like, real quick, though, weren't you mad at
Ken Paxton for shutting down Epic City?

Speaker 1 (07:56):
Well that's different.

Speaker 5 (07:57):
They were like, yeah, the Muslims should be allowed to
live alone without you there, And they're like, well, why
can't we It's like, yeah, it doesn't work both ways,
too sha racists to say, I.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Can't stop going once they started state Walton M. Johnson.

Speaker 5 (08:12):
Early in the show on Tuesday, we played a little
bit of audio of that Attorney general in Rhode Island
getting arrested two white women. Two white women that look
like they're pretty and they have a little money, and
no one's ever told him no before got two, they
got almost blackout drunk, had a seafood restaurant.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Isn't that weird?

Speaker 4 (08:32):
I mean, were they doing shots while they were eating
their coconut shrimp or what?

Speaker 1 (08:37):
I don't know, dude, we eat a lot of seafood
restaurants collectively in this group.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
Well, now, this is Rhode Island. Let's not try to
think it's like the folks down here. I don't know
what kind of seafood they get up in Rhode Island.
You know, they probably got them crabs. The crabs are big.
I bet it's good.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
But you know, it's not even a real island billy,
I'd get out. I know they just call it.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
They can't get away with something like that. That is
cultural appropriation of real islands.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
I know.

Speaker 4 (09:02):
It's like a white lady in a hamas scarf. How
dare you her name? The Attorney general or assistant attorney general?

Speaker 1 (09:09):
That's important, ag, She's.

Speaker 4 (09:11):
A she's just an assistant. Her name is Devon and
Hogan Flanagan. She's one of those hyphenated well.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
And all she could.

Speaker 4 (09:22):
Say, I'm an age. I'm a She didn't say a ag,
did she. No, she didn't lie to the police. The
cops are like, we're gonna have to arrest you.

Speaker 5 (09:31):
They got too drunk and they were misbehaving at a
seafood restaurant. The cops come and they're like, all right, man,
we're gonna have to detain you. And she goes, no,
you're not. You're like she's telling them, She's like, you're
not going to arrest us because she's a boss. I'm
your boss.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
No you're not.

Speaker 5 (09:44):
I've been arrested for some dumb things before. Let me
tell you a secret about getting arrested. Go quietly, and
the whole operation will end quicker. I'll bet those women
spent way longer when they were being detained than they
used because guess what, cops are humans and they deserved it.
If if they were there an hour longer than they
needed to be good, if the cops back at the

(10:05):
back of the station spent an hour age, We'll get
your paperwork in a minute.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
I'm having my coffee. I gotta go to the bathroom. Good.

Speaker 4 (10:12):
There were at least two women involved in this little
take down. Right now, the other lady she's some big
wig with Pepsi Cola company. From what I hear, she
was I think wilder than the assistant Attorney general.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
Let's play a little bit of audio.

Speaker 5 (10:29):
This is a Rhode Island prosecutor throwing her weight around
with cops when they were asking her to get out
of a restaurant. In the restaurant, she had too much
to drink. It was a seafood restaurant. They called the
cops on her.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
They called the cops on.

Speaker 5 (10:41):
This white lady. The white lady's like, you're all overreacting.
I bet they're not. I bet they wanted your money
and your tips, and they wanted you to come back
to the restaurant again, because that's how the business model works.
There's no seafood restaurant in Rhode Island. That's like discriminating
against rich white women.

Speaker 1 (10:57):
We don't want your kind around here. Full times, she
told the cops she couldn't be arrested because she's an
A A G. Which is two lies. Once. One is
that she's not an a G. She's an assistant attorney general.
She just kept saying I'm an a G. And two,
she's not an a G. She was Actually she said,
you're gonna regret this.

Speaker 5 (11:14):
Here's a little bit of the audio of Devin Hogan
hyphenation Flanagin telling you, well, here, just listen.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
You're trust us, so we gotta leave now.

Speaker 4 (11:28):
Number one, you're not gonna arrest us.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
Number two, we gotta go. An I'm an ag good
for you. I don't give thanks for you.

Speaker 4 (11:37):
I don't believed off. I think that was the PEPSI
lady doing that screaming. They said she was worse off
than another one.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
Is that amazing? And then as this is happening, there's
another SoundBite if you play a longer one, or she's
screaming at her husband Dan. She keeps calling him babe.

Speaker 5 (12:03):
It's weird to hear someone getting arrested using a pet
name for their spouse.

Speaker 4 (12:07):
So Dan was there while they were getting drunk, and
he didn't put a stop to that. You got to
put the guyboss on that because gal don't know how
to control themselves like men do when we're drinking phill.

Speaker 5 (12:16):
Yeah, these women wouldn't listen to the cops. Imagine being
Dan on an average door. Dan, Oh, I don't want
to be Dan.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
As it's all going down.

Speaker 5 (12:24):
He's eight feet away, and he's like, I'm right here, babe,
I'm right here, babe.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
But he's smart enough to know you're not gonna stop
the cops from arresting you. You want to deal with that,
and you'd think an assistant attorney general would know. You
don't deal with it on the street. You deal with
that later.

Speaker 5 (12:39):
Look, I am no stranger to the back seat of
a squad car as a teenager. As a man in
my twenties, I got into trouble for some pretty stupid stuff.
The back seat of an average police car is also
not comfortable at all. Yeah, it's hard to lay down
or stretch out, or you tell me about it. It's
really hard to get your pants back on. I mean,
it's just not a comfortable place for that. But you know,

(12:59):
all that being sad one way to avoid it, and
you're not gonna believe this. Cops are people, and if
you're polite to them and you just follow their instructions,
they don't want to fill out the paperwork anymore than
you want them to fill it out. They don't want
to have to leave where they're going, go somewhere else,
then drive back. It just makes their day longer. They
don't want that. All these women had to do was
politely leave And I'm gonna climb out on a limb here,

(13:21):
And guess they were probably kicked out before they even
paid the bill. They wanted to stick around at the
restaurant where they've just been accused of, like offending all
the other patrons. And you know what I'd love to
see is what happened in that restaurant that make it
get to this.

Speaker 4 (13:34):
Yeah, you got to wonder how bad it got for
somebody to call the cops on an attorney general. He's
an ag after all. And don't you think she let
the people at the restaurant know that?

Speaker 3 (13:45):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Oh yeah?

Speaker 5 (13:46):
And I gotta tell you too. This is one of
my favorite genres of videos on the Internet. We call
it instant karma. Instant karma videos, I'll give you a
vague example is a guy runs up, grabs a woman's purse,
runs down into the street, and instantly gets.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
Hit by a bus. Boomed that.

Speaker 5 (14:01):
We've seen videos like that before. A guy will try
to steal someone's phone. The dude turns around a dexum.
A subgenre of instant karma videos is someone trying to
rob at former UFC fighter.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
Oh yeah, there's like twenty of those out there. It's like,
what were you thinking, dude. This guy's been waiting for
this his whole life. He's ex marine, ex MMA. But
this one is instant.

Speaker 5 (14:21):
There's nothing on OnlyFans dot com that arouses me as
much as an instant karma video. Oh my, oh dude,
I love an instant karma video. Anyway, it's a good
And there's another one on my x account today that
we're not playing on the audio the radio because the
background's a little noisy.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
Yeah, it was really well.

Speaker 5 (14:38):
A woman is wearing a hamas scarf called a kaifa
or whatever they call it, kiafa, I don't care what it's.
It's a humask, it's a terrorist scarf. It's a white
lady at the train station in Washington, DC Union Station,
and the cop looks like he's Middle Eastern and he's
just happens to casually mention this white lady who's screaming
obscenities at him, is committing cultural appropriate And as soon

(15:01):
as he says it, she is stunned. She's like, how
am I committing cultural appropriation? He's like, well, are you Palestinian?

Speaker 1 (15:08):
Why do you have that scarf on?

Speaker 5 (15:09):
And she's like, no, my Palestinian friend gave me this scarf.
I bet they didn't. I bet you bought it at
urban outfitters or Amazon. Yeah, I bet I bet you
did not. I bet you don't know a Palestinian. Oh yeah,
what's your Palestinian friend's name? Don't just point to a
guy in the crowd, all right, call him over here.
I'm around. I know what his name is. It's Mohammed.
I know it's Mohammed.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
She lied?

Speaker 4 (15:29):
And did they? Did they arrest her? Why was there
a confrontation in the first place.

Speaker 5 (15:33):
Well, because he's a cop and she is a white
liberal woman. I will tell you the white women on
our side are very nice people. There's some of my
favor But I think the worst people in society, worse
than criminals on the street, worse than the illegal I
think the worst people in our society are the white, affluent,
liberal suburban women who have galvanized all these other people.
They're they're them influencing elections, voting just for a late term.

(15:56):
Abortion is the reason we have the crime, It's the
reason we have the illegal immigration.

Speaker 4 (16:01):
Vote for that one thing that is important to them
and all the other crap. Forget it. I don't care. Yeah,
that's why we end up with these losers in politics.

Speaker 5 (16:09):
I don't excuse the crime rate in the black neighborhoods
or anything, but I will tell you one thing that
emboldens it, one thing that makes it vastly worse, is
when some affluent, white suburban woman gets elected to be
the appellate court judge and she decides every time a
dangerous guy from the fifth ward comes walking into my courtroom,
I'm just gonna let him go because of my white guilt.
Guess what he's bad. She's worse. She's letting thirty or

(16:31):
forty of these guys.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
Go a week. Exactly. He is one person, she's responsible
for dozens of them.

Speaker 4 (16:37):
Now, so in an algebraic equation, then X being the judge,
stop doing that.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
Oh, I knew it was gonna upset Billy as soon
as you say, somebody.

Speaker 4 (16:45):
Wants to hear that algebra. I skipped algebra in the
first place all those years ago. I'll skip it again.
And I'm gonna just get the hell out of here.
If you all are gonna start doing that.

Speaker 5 (16:53):
And sure, and sincerat math is racist. I bet mister
I would agree with that.

Speaker 4 (16:57):
You know about what I wouldn't he paying attention, put
phone down, was talking about politics or something like that.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Y'all know what happened if you give a viagra to
a politician? Right? What's that, mister l He gets taller?
Am all right, I'm all right. It's the most important
part of the show, right, John, don't forget boys and
girls to eat it every day. Hey again, you've reached
the end of the Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you.
That means you listened all the way to the end.

(17:24):
Does that mean we're going away now never to be
heard again?

Speaker 5 (17:27):
No, no, no, there will be a new show tomorrow.
Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or we're off work.
But as always, you could go to Walton and Johnson
dot com and you could find all kinds of cool
stuff there. Our news blog, links to our social media accounts.
Believe it or not, our personal lives are very boring.
If you comment on our social media pages, we might reply, yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Chances are we're just sitting around waiting to hear from you. Yeah,
so what's the big deal? Go to Walton and Johnson
dot com Today, I'm told there's a store. Oh yes,
we do have a lovely store and you could buy
things there. Walton Johnson dot com. What's not to love