Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Robert Plans. I know what you're thinking, is he still alive?
He is, and he has new music out?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
What about Robert Palmer? Any new music there?
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Didn't he die?
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Yeah, he had a bad case of loving you and
that the doctor didn't warn him about that. Probably had
an HMO instead of a PPO. I bet that was
probably his mistake.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Trying to cut costs, and sure enough, it doesn't help
in the long run.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Look at your life, you know what I mean. You
want to save money, you shouldn't have hired Robert Palmer.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Well, the celebrity birthday list just chalk full of lovely
young and some old celebrities, you know, people who went
out of their way to become famous. If it's your
birthday and we're not gonna mention you, it's because you
didn't get famous enough. And this is kind of sad.
Hulk Hokan would have turned seventy two today instead died
(00:53):
a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Boy, if he wasn't dead, he'd be alive and we'd
probably be saying happy birthday.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
But now we just have to say, oh, it would
have been a birthday. Also the birthday of the late
Alex Haley of Roots fame and Eric Carman, who did
some sad songs.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
I thought, mister, oh, you were gonna warn me every
time I needed to cue up the Roots theme ahead
of time. I didn't know what that was coming to you,
though nobody warned me. You gotta make that was pretty quick.
I will quick thanks a lot. I jump on the Roots.
I have a very very few skills in this world,
but finding a song quickly is one of them.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Click, just like that, now the living Let's go ahead
and celebrate Thor's birthday. The lovely and talented Chris Himsworth
only forty two, still a baby, not literally Thor though
yeah he literally is Thor.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
No, he's literally the actor that played Thor.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
And a Gun. Anybody recognize the name?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Is it? What if I said Peter's sister Skyler White,
I'd believe you, But I still don't know who that is.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Who's Winter White's wife? Skyler Breaking? She made a real
impression on you. Didn't see I've never heard of it?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Was it?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Big Breaking? Bad? Nick is okay?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
And that's Skyler White?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
And what's your last name?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Gun and a Gun is fifty seven. Joe Rogan is
fifty eight, Happy birthday to Joe Rogan Viola Davis. She
was in Suicide Squad, among other things. She's sixty viola viola.
It doesn't matter if you can have it your way,
I'm not I don't care. Ian McDermid is eighty one today.
He's the guy that played both Darth Sidious and Chancellor
(02:33):
Palpatine in the Star Wars movies. He had both roles.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
That is so greedy. It's the same guy that both
of those parts should have gone to a black trans
woman obviously. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yeah, as did They made one of the one of
the Jedi that got together in the group. I don't
keep up with the movies like y'all do, but I
did see Paulsova and that one sister girl had those
two long uh looked like they could have been horns,
but they just kind of drooped and they were black
(03:05):
and white. Okay, that was as close as they got
putting a sister up in there in the lead.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I don't know who he's talking.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
There were other but Billy d Williams.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
He was.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
He wasn't a Jedi obviously, and he's not a sister girl. Yeah,
but he was smooth though. You gotta give it to
Billy d he was smooth Atlanto, Kyle Ruthie. What about
Samuel L. Jackson? He was a Jedi, wasn't he? That
came later on though, we're talking about the original stars because
they had to get woked up first. Yeah, Samuel L.
(03:37):
Jackson was good though. Yeah, Okay, today is Presidential Joke Day.
I'm not sure that there are such things as jokes
about the president. I mean that seems disrespectful on Presidential
Joke Day. Stephen Colbert says, what's a joke? Yeah you are, sir, Yeah,
(03:57):
he doesn't know. This day history brought you buy Law Tigers.
I don't know if you got in on Sturgis or not,
but I guarantee you a lot of Law Tiger customers
a bird Sturgis, And now, of course they're scattered out
riding around all over the countryside. And if there's an accident,
God for a bit, get in touch with law Tigers
(04:18):
right away. Well, first you call your wife, then you
call your mistress.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Then you call anybody you owe money to and tell
them you're dying, and you apologize for not paying them back.
Then then call one hundred law Tigers or if you're
not in a hurry you go to lawtigers dot com.
Did you mention National Panini Day?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
I did not? Okay, because I think that's better than
the Presidential joke day. What's your favorite pennies? Anytime you
get to eat, you think that's better.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Paniti is the superior sandwich. Everybody always talks about those
to what as a not toasted sandwich? Panini is a
perfect sandwich? Is it better than a grilled cheese? A
grilled cheese is basically a panini, But if you don't
pinch the sides, it's not.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Isn't that the thing on panini is outside? You got
to It's like a meat pie.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Let's say I drop a panini on you right now,
grilled cheese style. Then I just make a regular grilled
cheese on a pan Which do you think is going
to be better?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I actually like the sides open so that the cheese
can ooze out. See I'm a big ooze out guy.
I no offense, billy, And I think that's the gayest
thing you ever said. Make it that sound very tasty?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah you did. Today. In eighteen seventy four, Harry Parmelli
patent did the sprinkler head.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Woo well, if we're doing patents. Eighteen ninety six, a
past you patten was issued to a mister Harvey Hubble.
Do you know what you created with that? The electric
light bulb socket with a pole chain. We didn't have
a way to turn the bulbs on and off back
(05:46):
in eighteen ninety six until this guy came along.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
We laugh all you want, but I like the pole
chain and I like sprinkler heads. I think those are
both good inventions. Where would this country be without them?
America holl Yeah, you're sitting here in the dark watchings
dye today. In nineteen thirty four, federal prisoners landed on
Alcatraz Island.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
It was no alligator Alcatraz, but it was something and
they didn't care for it.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
No.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Today. In nineteen seventy three, American graffiti opened in theaters.
Where were you in sixty two? I don't know what
that means today. In nineteen eighty four, Ronald Reagan jokes
about bombing Russia on a hot mic. Remember he didn't
know he was on the air.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
He was on live TV.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
The cameras were going, and he was joking about how
he just blew up. It's really funny.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Hang on I might even the bombing will begin in
five minutes or something.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
I don't know. I think I even have the audio.
Hang on a second, is this it, Americans?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislations
with outlaw Russia forever. We put in bombing in five minutes. Now.
It sounded like he knew he was on the air
or on the microphone though.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
No, he thought he was doing like a mic check.
He was just kidding around and testing. Testing. That's why
they always let the presidents just say testing though. Today,
in nineteen ninety two, the Mall of America open in Minnesota,
and with it today, where would teenagers in Minnesota go
when they want to kill someone?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
I don't know? Selearia, I guess.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yeah. Speaking of death today in twenty fourteen, say goodbye
to Robin Williams. He was hilarious.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, that's a shame. He took his own life because
he had well, he was suffering from a form of
dementia called Louis body disease and just said, now I'm
not living like this.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Did Anthony Bourdaine have anything?
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I think I'm sure he hit something because you think
about how cool these guys' lives were who had a
cooler life than Anthony Bourdaine or Robin Williams, and those
guys were so depressed they wanted to die still weren't happy.
If there's anybody out there right now that's thinking about
doing it, I might remind you that Robin Williams had
a family that loved him, Anthony Bourdaine had friends who
wanted him to be around, and now their lives are
(07:47):
worse because they decided to make that very selfish decision.
It is so selfish.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
So you're in pain. Okay, me too. You're sad, so
are we. You're depressed. The world seems bleak.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
So you think deal with it is probably gonna fix them.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Is your pain so bad that you want other people
to suffer more so you don't have to suffer anymore?
Ask yourself that question before you make the mistake today, Bubba.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Okay, there's no takebacks on that. I know. It's like
fun in a video game, but not in real life.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Speaking of Mall's, police were searching for a man they
believe was a drive by shooter at an area home
and Mall. The man they suspected was arrested for allegedly
pleasuring himself in his car at a wah Wah. Do
you get what a wa wah is? I know, yes,
we don't have it around here, but I think it's
kind of like a grocery store with a Washington. I
(08:36):
think it's a convenience store if they have him in
Pennsylvania among other places. Anyway, he was found of the gun.
Here is Ridley Township Police Lieutenant John Hamill talking about
the arrest John ham No, John Hamill.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Oh, well, that's unfortunate. If it was John ham that'd
be cooler.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
It's not John ham It's not Mark Hamill. It's John Hamill.
And here is hit him, the police lieutenant talking about
the arrest of this creepy guy who pleasured himself in
the parking lot of a wah Wah. He approached the
car so that the driver was lean back. They also
also noticed that there was a revolver in a passenger seat,
arrested him for open lewdness, took the gun, towed the car,
(09:13):
and then he contacted the Takeum police that he was
aware of an incident they had where a house was
shot at Waileai is a gas station originating from the
Philadelphia area. It's a chain of convenience stores. They serve cheeseburgers,
among other things. I've never actually.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Been to one. Kind of want to go to a
wah Wah just so I can say, if you do
keep your pants up? Am I even an American? If
I've never been to wah Wah? I think you are good.
I ain't never been.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Neither, and you're an American.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Have any of those wa Wall people ever heard of Waterburger?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yeah? They got Waterburger way better. I mean, clearly whataburger
is better, There's no question about that. But did wah
Wah get bought out by a bank in Chicago? You'd
like to keep bringing it up, don't you Look it's
not my fault. I didn't do it.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
You know, seemed to be the kind of a guy
who just begged for a fish sandwich? And what else
got bought?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Dr Pepper, Shipley, any of those brands important to you?
Billiod Wall? Well, I don't know. I could go for
a fish sandwich. Yeah, is that what you said? Fish? Right?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Huh?
Speaker 1 (10:12):
We still have comedy, though we still have great comedy
out there.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
There's always rambling Joe Biden. Joe says did even people
with tourettsko No d Walton and Johnson Radio Network report
this morning, I'm afraid I have to report Hollywood and racism. Now,
Hollywood likes to tell you how to livet but somebody
needs to point out they're not doing this right. You
(10:35):
know how we always say Hollywood doesn't have any new ideas,
so to keep bringing back the old ideas. A couple
of weeks ago, somebody announced a new air Bud was
in the works. Do you remember the original air Bud?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I'm aware you know, I've never actually watched it, but
it's a movie about a dog that plays basketball, so
it seems like something I'd enjoy watching with my goddaughter
and my nephews or something.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Yeah. Well, this just calls for the most adorable casting
call ever, because the search is on now for the
new Airbud. That would be a pure bread Golden Retriever.
They said, for those of you who think a black
lab might be better at basketball, sorry, Golden Retriever only,
(11:21):
and it has to be pure bread.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
That's very offensive.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
That is so racist on so many levels. I can't
even begin to tell you.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
They're gonna have the arian race there there that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
But for those of you who do have a purebred
golden retriever hanging around your house, they might actually earn
you some money. You can submit an application online and
if he's, you know, chosen, movie star, fame, fortune, glory,
it's all yours, and if not, you might still win
a free movie ticket or something. Do you know much
(11:54):
about Albania? Just that everybody there is a very white
and stark white hair, and white eyebrows and eyelashes and
blue eyes.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Apparently a lot of Democrats.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Oh wait, that's Albinos. No, I don't know anything about Albania.
I don't know the match about it either.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Apparently a lot of Americans are leaving to fly to
live in Albania.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Why, I don't know. There's a report today about how
it sounds like Albania is just trying to get people
to move there by telling you that everybody's moving here,
and a lot of Texans are moving to Spain according
to this rule. Well, I can't blame him for that.
I've traveled extensively in Europe myself, and I have friends
who have also traveled even more extensively, and Spain seems
(12:41):
to be pretty much number one on everybody's list.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Not to be outdone, Jimmy Kimmel just reported he got
his Italian citizenship. It's his plan to escape Trump. Do
you think, also they've ruined Italy? Is his show about
to get canceled?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I would hope.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Why would Jimmy Kimmel get citizenship in a foreign country
if he has a TV show to produce in Los
Angeles every night? I feel like maybe the words out
little foreshadowing going on there.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yeah, do you think.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Cannibals eat at five guys and they're disappointed?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I bet they are. Then if you were in a
tribe of cannibals.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Like the kind that killed Joe Biden's uncle, that's what
I hear.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Sure, you're not a visitor, you're not a tourist. You're
not some guy who just stumbled out of the forest
and you hey look, Cannibal. No, you're You're part of
the group. You're part of the tribe since you were born,
little baby Cannibal, growing up, Cannibal. Now you're a grown man, Cannibal.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
How do you.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Sleep at night? How do you just wonder when you
lay down at night you're surrounded by people who eat
human flesh and you're human.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
You know, as if it wasn't hard enough to fall asleep.
Thank God for my pillow dot Com promo code WJ.
I'm not sure that solves your cannibal problem though, No,
you're right. I know we all laughed at that video
earlier at the palm and chasing the bear, But did
we do that on the air.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Off the air, we were just enjoying some off air hilarity.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Earlier in the show. We watched this really funny video.
And if I'm not mistaken, I think we even have
a jingle for this, and we may even have a
sponsor for it.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Oh yes we do. Now it's like this little wretches.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
All you gotta do is look all the bear necessity.
It's black bear and news black bear this time. Is
that right? And this report's brought to you by.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
About well my pillow. You just talked about how important
it is.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Go to my pillow dot com today use promo code WJ.
They've got exactly what you need to get a good
night's sleep, even when you have bears breaking into your home.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Black bears breaking into your home. I know it always
aggravated people me, especially when they tried to take everything
Mike Lindell had worked so hard for just because he
supported our president. They hated that, and we said, you
know what, how about this? How but we go out
of our way to support Michael Lindey at my Pillow
because he went out of his way and risked his
(15:04):
very fortune to do the same for the president.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yeah. Go to my pillow dot com today, use promo
code WJ to purchase great products for your home, very affordable,
high quality, luxury American made, and vote with your wallet.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I thought we were just shopping there. Coast to products
were good and the prices were low, little both. Yeah,
that works too, all.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Right, So today we want to tell you a story
about a woman in Canadia. She had a bear that
got into her home near Vancouver last Monday. It sounds
like she had the back door open so the Pomeranian
could go doodo when you know they must not have
bugs up there or something.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I well know, it's just a different climate.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Low humidity there. Well, as it turns out, while they
might not be worried about mosquitos and humidity getting into
the home, something black did. An invader, a black bear uninvited.
Fortunately for her, her tiny little Pomeranian only six pounds.
Its name is Scout. Chased away the bear. Them little
yippie dogs can get pretty aggressive. Remember John had a
(16:03):
He had a passel of him I believe did he
not have a passle? John had a lot of dogs,
that's a passle, and three or four of them were Pomeranians.
He had a lot of property and his the Pomeranians.
They didn't seem like the kind of dog John would
own by little ankle biters, but he loved those little dogs.
He had some big dogs too.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
So cute and lovable. Who doesn't love them. I mean
they look like little tiny ewalks. They look like little
teddy bears, and he walks were little tiny things.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
And these are even smaller. I like Pomeranians. My only
problem with him is the yippiness. I don't like that.
But as it turns out from this news story, the
yippiness comes in handy when you've got a black bear
in your home. It was a big bear. There's security
footage of the whole thing. Here's Kayla Klein, owner of
the home, and the pomeranian, talking about what happened when
(16:51):
a black bear came in through the back door. And
her fearless little pup chased it away.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
I was surprised, but also he's scary when he's mad.
Was around noon and I was in the washroom getting ready.
He came sprinting around the corner and I just saw
the bear running out of our kitchen and he chased
it out of the house. He just likes to assert
his dominance, or like we'll call him the alpha dog.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
He not only chased it out of the house, across
the yard and over the fence and gone.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Mm mmmm all right. Earlier in the show we talked
about it.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Just ask the question that's on everybody's mind. Obviously nobody
wants to deal with it, but I will goad. If
that had been a polar bear, you think she would
act a completely different Okay, if it had been a
polar bear, would her response would have been completely different?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Why would a polar bear be in her house in
the middle of this summer?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Well, it's Canada, you know, it did not far from
polar bear country.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
They could drift down. We agree that it would have
been different, but the polar bear would have killed everyone.
That's the most dangerous bear. Also, the white ones are worse.
But you never hear that in the news. Dude, I
think you do. Actually, everyone would agree polar bears are
the most dangerous bears. Such, it's not a race thing.
It's not, mister o. This has nothing to do with
race anyway. Earlier in the show, we talked about how
(18:09):
Tom Hanks co stars. What happened with Tom Hanks? Repeat
that again.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
He played Jim Lovell in Apollo thirteen.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, and he died the level died. Yeah, he was
ninety seven. Turns out Tom Hanks portrayed him in a
Ron Howard film. Hanks also posted a touching tribute to
Jim on Friday. In the past, Tom has admitted that
he got the famous line wrong in the nineteen ninety movie.
Here he is explaining then the it and then the
real audio when Apollo thirteen crew could have been doomed, Houston.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
We have a problem.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
You know, that's actually a mistake on my part, since
I believe Jim actually said Houston, we've had a problem.
It was in the script, and I never bothered to
think that. Well, let's go back and make sure that's
the correct tense.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Say please looking at it boy. Very metic. But Tom
Hanks is right about that. And most people don't know.
So when you're deciding between the truth or the legend,
which do you print?
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Well, now, he's just a terrible actor, it's all I think.
I think you print the legend.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
You know. People want to hear the story. They don't
want to hear the little details.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
When he admitted it. Now they're going to hold it
against him. And really it was the writers. It's kind
of checked themselves out now that I think about it.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
The two most famous quotes ever said from speech were
that from what from a space? I'm sorry? Were that?
And then the other line, one small step for man,
one giant leap for mankind? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:34):
How did that work out?
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Both of those lines are famously known to be sett incorrectly.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
We're told that it was wrong.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
They wrote that line for him. The line I think
was supposed to be this is one small step for
one man, one giant leap for all of mankind. And
and he screwed up the line. What an idiot? Yeah, yeah,
they should never send him to space again.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I bet they don't. Houston, we have a problem. Alton
and Johnson
Robert Plans. I know what you're thinking, is he still alive?
He is, and he has new music out?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
What about Robert Palmer? Any new music there?
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Didn't he die?
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Yeah, he had a bad case of loving you and
that the doctor didn't warn him about that. Probably had
an HMO instead of a PPO. I bet that was
probably his mistake.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Trying to cut costs, and sure enough, it doesn't help
in the long run.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Look at your life, you know what I mean. You
want to save money, you shouldn't have hired Robert Palmer.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Well, the celebrity birthday list just chalk full of lovely
young and some old celebrities, you know, people who went
out of their way to become famous. If it's your
birthday and we're not gonna mention you, it's because you
didn't get famous enough. And this is kind of sad.
Hulk Hokan would have turned seventy two today instead died
(00:53):
a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Boy, if he wasn't dead, he'd be alive and we'd
probably be saying happy birthday.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
But now we just have to say, oh, it would
have been a birthday. Also the birthday of the late
Alex Haley of Roots fame and Eric Carman, who did
some sad songs.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
I thought, mister, oh, you were gonna warn me every
time I needed to cue up the Roots theme ahead
of time. I didn't know what that was coming to you,
though nobody warned me. You gotta make that was pretty quick.
I will quick thanks a lot. I jump on the Roots.
I have a very very few skills in this world,
but finding a song quickly is one of them.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Click, just like that, now the living Let's go ahead
and celebrate Thor's birthday. The lovely and talented Chris Himsworth
only forty two, still a baby, not literally Thor though
yeah he literally is Thor.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
No, he's literally the actor that played Thor.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
And a Gun. Anybody recognize the name?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Is it? What if I said Peter's sister Skyler White,
I'd believe you, But I still don't know who that is.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Who's Winter White's wife? Skyler Breaking? She made a real
impression on you. Didn't see I've never heard of it?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Was it?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Big Breaking? Bad? Nick is okay?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
And that's Skyler White?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
And what's your last name?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Gun and a Gun is fifty seven. Joe Rogan is
fifty eight, Happy birthday to Joe Rogan Viola Davis. She
was in Suicide Squad, among other things. She's sixty viola viola.
It doesn't matter if you can have it your way,
I'm not I don't care. Ian McDermid is eighty one today.
He's the guy that played both Darth Sidious and Chancellor
(02:33):
Palpatine in the Star Wars movies. He had both roles.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
That is so greedy. It's the same guy that both
of those parts should have gone to a black trans
woman obviously. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yeah, as did They made one of the one of
the Jedi that got together in the group. I don't
keep up with the movies like y'all do, but I
did see Paulsova and that one sister girl had those
two long uh looked like they could have been horns,
but they just kind of drooped and they were black
(03:05):
and white. Okay, that was as close as they got
putting a sister up in there in the lead.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I don't know who he's talking.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
There were other but Billy d Williams.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
He was.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
He wasn't a Jedi obviously, and he's not a sister girl. Yeah,
but he was smooth though. You gotta give it to
Billy d he was smooth Atlanto, Kyle Ruthie. What about
Samuel L. Jackson? He was a Jedi, wasn't he? That
came later on though, we're talking about the original stars because
they had to get woked up first. Yeah, Samuel L.
(03:37):
Jackson was good though. Yeah, Okay, today is Presidential Joke Day.
I'm not sure that there are such things as jokes
about the president. I mean that seems disrespectful on Presidential
Joke Day. Stephen Colbert says, what's a joke? Yeah you are, sir, Yeah,
(03:57):
he doesn't know. This day history brought you buy Law Tigers.
I don't know if you got in on Sturgis or not,
but I guarantee you a lot of Law Tiger customers
a bird Sturgis, And now, of course they're scattered out
riding around all over the countryside. And if there's an accident,
God for a bit, get in touch with law Tigers
(04:18):
right away. Well, first you call your wife, then you
call your mistress.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Then you call anybody you owe money to and tell
them you're dying, and you apologize for not paying them back.
Then then call one hundred law Tigers or if you're
not in a hurry you go to lawtigers dot com.
Did you mention National Panini Day?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
I did not? Okay, because I think that's better than
the Presidential joke day. What's your favorite pennies? Anytime you
get to eat, you think that's better.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Paniti is the superior sandwich. Everybody always talks about those
to what as a not toasted sandwich? Panini is a
perfect sandwich? Is it better than a grilled cheese? A
grilled cheese is basically a panini, But if you don't
pinch the sides, it's not.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Isn't that the thing on panini is outside? You got
to It's like a meat pie.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Let's say I drop a panini on you right now,
grilled cheese style. Then I just make a regular grilled
cheese on a pan Which do you think is going
to be better?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I actually like the sides open so that the cheese
can ooze out. See I'm a big ooze out guy.
I no offense, billy, And I think that's the gayest
thing you ever said. Make it that sound very tasty?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah you did. Today. In eighteen seventy four, Harry Parmelli
patent did the sprinkler head.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Woo well, if we're doing patents. Eighteen ninety six, a
past you patten was issued to a mister Harvey Hubble.
Do you know what you created with that? The electric
light bulb socket with a pole chain. We didn't have
a way to turn the bulbs on and off back
(05:46):
in eighteen ninety six until this guy came along.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
We laugh all you want, but I like the pole
chain and I like sprinkler heads. I think those are
both good inventions. Where would this country be without them?
America holl Yeah, you're sitting here in the dark watchings
dye today. In nineteen thirty four, federal prisoners landed on
Alcatraz Island.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
It was no alligator Alcatraz, but it was something and
they didn't care for it.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
No.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Today. In nineteen seventy three, American graffiti opened in theaters.
Where were you in sixty two? I don't know what
that means today. In nineteen eighty four, Ronald Reagan jokes
about bombing Russia on a hot mic. Remember he didn't
know he was on the air.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
He was on live TV.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
The cameras were going, and he was joking about how
he just blew up. It's really funny.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Hang on I might even the bombing will begin in
five minutes or something.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
I don't know. I think I even have the audio.
Hang on a second, is this it, Americans?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislations
with outlaw Russia forever. We put in bombing in five minutes. Now.
It sounded like he knew he was on the air
or on the microphone though.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
No, he thought he was doing like a mic check.
He was just kidding around and testing. Testing. That's why
they always let the presidents just say testing though. Today,
in nineteen ninety two, the Mall of America open in Minnesota,
and with it today, where would teenagers in Minnesota go
when they want to kill someone?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
I don't know? Selearia, I guess.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yeah. Speaking of death today in twenty fourteen, say goodbye
to Robin Williams. He was hilarious.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, that's a shame. He took his own life because
he had well, he was suffering from a form of
dementia called Louis body disease and just said, now I'm
not living like this.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Did Anthony Bourdaine have anything?
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I think I'm sure he hit something because you think
about how cool these guys' lives were who had a
cooler life than Anthony Bourdaine or Robin Williams, and those
guys were so depressed they wanted to die still weren't happy.
If there's anybody out there right now that's thinking about
doing it, I might remind you that Robin Williams had
a family that loved him, Anthony Bourdaine had friends who
wanted him to be around, and now their lives are
(07:47):
worse because they decided to make that very selfish decision.
It is so selfish.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
So you're in pain. Okay, me too. You're sad, so
are we. You're depressed. The world seems bleak.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
So you think deal with it is probably gonna fix them.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Is your pain so bad that you want other people
to suffer more so you don't have to suffer anymore?
Ask yourself that question before you make the mistake today, Bubba.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Okay, there's no takebacks on that. I know. It's like
fun in a video game, but not in real life.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Speaking of Mall's, police were searching for a man they
believe was a drive by shooter at an area home
and Mall. The man they suspected was arrested for allegedly
pleasuring himself in his car at a wah Wah. Do
you get what a wa wah is? I know, yes,
we don't have it around here, but I think it's
kind of like a grocery store with a Washington. I
(08:36):
think it's a convenience store if they have him in
Pennsylvania among other places. Anyway, he was found of the gun.
Here is Ridley Township Police Lieutenant John Hamill talking about
the arrest John ham No, John Hamill.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Oh, well, that's unfortunate. If it was John ham that'd
be cooler.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
It's not John ham It's not Mark Hamill. It's John Hamill.
And here is hit him, the police lieutenant talking about
the arrest of this creepy guy who pleasured himself in
the parking lot of a wah Wah. He approached the
car so that the driver was lean back. They also
also noticed that there was a revolver in a passenger seat,
arrested him for open lewdness, took the gun, towed the car,
(09:13):
and then he contacted the Takeum police that he was
aware of an incident they had where a house was
shot at Waileai is a gas station originating from the
Philadelphia area. It's a chain of convenience stores. They serve cheeseburgers,
among other things. I've never actually.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Been to one. Kind of want to go to a
wah Wah just so I can say, if you do
keep your pants up? Am I even an American? If
I've never been to wah Wah? I think you are good.
I ain't never been.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Neither, and you're an American.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Have any of those wa Wall people ever heard of Waterburger?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yeah? They got Waterburger way better. I mean, clearly whataburger
is better, There's no question about that. But did wah
Wah get bought out by a bank in Chicago? You'd
like to keep bringing it up, don't you Look it's
not my fault. I didn't do it.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
You know, seemed to be the kind of a guy
who just begged for a fish sandwich? And what else
got bought?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Dr Pepper, Shipley, any of those brands important to you?
Billiod Wall? Well, I don't know. I could go for
a fish sandwich. Yeah, is that what you said? Fish? Right?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Huh?
Speaker 1 (10:12):
We still have comedy, though we still have great comedy
out there.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
There's always rambling Joe Biden. Joe says did even people
with tourettsko No d Walton and Johnson Radio Network report
this morning, I'm afraid I have to report Hollywood and racism. Now,
Hollywood likes to tell you how to livet but somebody
needs to point out they're not doing this right. You
(10:35):
know how we always say Hollywood doesn't have any new ideas,
so to keep bringing back the old ideas. A couple
of weeks ago, somebody announced a new air Bud was
in the works. Do you remember the original air Bud?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I'm aware you know, I've never actually watched it, but
it's a movie about a dog that plays basketball, so
it seems like something I'd enjoy watching with my goddaughter
and my nephews or something.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Yeah. Well, this just calls for the most adorable casting
call ever, because the search is on now for the
new Airbud. That would be a pure bread Golden Retriever.
They said, for those of you who think a black
lab might be better at basketball, sorry, Golden Retriever only,
(11:21):
and it has to be pure bread.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
That's very offensive.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
That is so racist on so many levels. I can't
even begin to tell you.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
They're gonna have the arian race there there that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
But for those of you who do have a purebred
golden retriever hanging around your house, they might actually earn
you some money. You can submit an application online and
if he's, you know, chosen, movie star, fame, fortune, glory,
it's all yours, and if not, you might still win
a free movie ticket or something. Do you know much
(11:54):
about Albania? Just that everybody there is a very white
and stark white hair, and white eyebrows and eyelashes and
blue eyes.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Apparently a lot of Democrats.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Oh wait, that's Albinos. No, I don't know anything about Albania.
I don't know the match about it either.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Apparently a lot of Americans are leaving to fly to
live in Albania.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Why, I don't know. There's a report today about how
it sounds like Albania is just trying to get people
to move there by telling you that everybody's moving here,
and a lot of Texans are moving to Spain according
to this rule. Well, I can't blame him for that.
I've traveled extensively in Europe myself, and I have friends
who have also traveled even more extensively, and Spain seems
(12:41):
to be pretty much number one on everybody's list.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Not to be outdone, Jimmy Kimmel just reported he got
his Italian citizenship. It's his plan to escape Trump. Do
you think, also they've ruined Italy? Is his show about
to get canceled?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I would hope.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Why would Jimmy Kimmel get citizenship in a foreign country
if he has a TV show to produce in Los
Angeles every night? I feel like maybe the words out
little foreshadowing going on there.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yeah, do you think.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Cannibals eat at five guys and they're disappointed?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I bet they are. Then if you were in a
tribe of cannibals.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Like the kind that killed Joe Biden's uncle, that's what
I hear.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Sure, you're not a visitor, you're not a tourist. You're
not some guy who just stumbled out of the forest
and you hey look, Cannibal. No, you're You're part of
the group. You're part of the tribe since you were born,
little baby Cannibal, growing up, Cannibal. Now you're a grown man, Cannibal.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
How do you.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Sleep at night? How do you just wonder when you
lay down at night you're surrounded by people who eat
human flesh and you're human.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
You know, as if it wasn't hard enough to fall asleep.
Thank God for my pillow dot Com promo code WJ.
I'm not sure that solves your cannibal problem though, No,
you're right. I know we all laughed at that video
earlier at the palm and chasing the bear, But did
we do that on the air.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Off the air, we were just enjoying some off air hilarity.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Earlier in the show. We watched this really funny video.
And if I'm not mistaken, I think we even have
a jingle for this, and we may even have a
sponsor for it.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Oh yes we do. Now it's like this little wretches.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
All you gotta do is look all the bear necessity.
It's black bear and news black bear this time. Is
that right? And this report's brought to you by.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
About well my pillow. You just talked about how important
it is.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Go to my pillow dot com today use promo code WJ.
They've got exactly what you need to get a good
night's sleep, even when you have bears breaking into your home.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Black bears breaking into your home. I know it always
aggravated people me, especially when they tried to take everything
Mike Lindell had worked so hard for just because he
supported our president. They hated that, and we said, you
know what, how about this? How but we go out
of our way to support Michael Lindey at my Pillow
because he went out of his way and risked his
(15:04):
very fortune to do the same for the president.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yeah. Go to my pillow dot com today, use promo
code WJ to purchase great products for your home, very affordable,
high quality, luxury American made, and vote with your wallet.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I thought we were just shopping there. Coast to products
were good and the prices were low, little both. Yeah,
that works too, all.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Right, So today we want to tell you a story
about a woman in Canadia. She had a bear that
got into her home near Vancouver last Monday. It sounds
like she had the back door open so the Pomeranian
could go doodo when you know they must not have
bugs up there or something.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I well know, it's just a different climate.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Low humidity there. Well, as it turns out, while they
might not be worried about mosquitos and humidity getting into
the home, something black did. An invader, a black bear uninvited.
Fortunately for her, her tiny little Pomeranian only six pounds.
Its name is Scout. Chased away the bear. Them little
yippie dogs can get pretty aggressive. Remember John had a
(16:03):
He had a passel of him I believe did he
not have a passle? John had a lot of dogs,
that's a passle, and three or four of them were Pomeranians.
He had a lot of property and his the Pomeranians.
They didn't seem like the kind of dog John would
own by little ankle biters, but he loved those little dogs.
He had some big dogs too.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
So cute and lovable. Who doesn't love them. I mean
they look like little tiny ewalks. They look like little
teddy bears, and he walks were little tiny things.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
And these are even smaller. I like Pomeranians. My only
problem with him is the yippiness. I don't like that.
But as it turns out from this news story, the
yippiness comes in handy when you've got a black bear
in your home. It was a big bear. There's security
footage of the whole thing. Here's Kayla Klein, owner of
the home, and the pomeranian, talking about what happened when
(16:51):
a black bear came in through the back door. And
her fearless little pup chased it away.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
I was surprised, but also he's scary when he's mad.
Was around noon and I was in the washroom getting ready.
He came sprinting around the corner and I just saw
the bear running out of our kitchen and he chased
it out of the house. He just likes to assert
his dominance, or like we'll call him the alpha dog.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
He not only chased it out of the house, across
the yard and over the fence and gone.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Mm mmmm all right. Earlier in the show we talked
about it.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Just ask the question that's on everybody's mind. Obviously nobody
wants to deal with it, but I will goad. If
that had been a polar bear, you think she would
act a completely different Okay, if it had been a
polar bear, would her response would have been completely different?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Why would a polar bear be in her house in
the middle of this summer?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Well, it's Canada, you know, it did not far from
polar bear country.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
They could drift down. We agree that it would have
been different, but the polar bear would have killed everyone.
That's the most dangerous bear. Also, the white ones are worse.
But you never hear that in the news. Dude, I
think you do. Actually, everyone would agree polar bears are
the most dangerous bears. Such, it's not a race thing.
It's not, mister o. This has nothing to do with
race anyway. Earlier in the show, we talked about how
(18:09):
Tom Hanks co stars. What happened with Tom Hanks? Repeat
that again.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
He played Jim Lovell in Apollo thirteen.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, and he died the level died. Yeah, he was
ninety seven. Turns out Tom Hanks portrayed him in a
Ron Howard film. Hanks also posted a touching tribute to
Jim on Friday. In the past, Tom has admitted that
he got the famous line wrong in the nineteen ninety movie.
Here he is explaining then the it and then the
real audio when Apollo thirteen crew could have been doomed, Houston.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
We have a problem.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
You know, that's actually a mistake on my part, since
I believe Jim actually said Houston, we've had a problem.
It was in the script, and I never bothered to
think that. Well, let's go back and make sure that's
the correct tense.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Say please looking at it boy. Very metic. But Tom
Hanks is right about that. And most people don't know.
So when you're deciding between the truth or the legend,
which do you print?
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Well, now, he's just a terrible actor, it's all I think.
I think you print the legend.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
You know. People want to hear the story. They don't
want to hear the little details.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
When he admitted it. Now they're going to hold it
against him. And really it was the writers. It's kind
of checked themselves out now that I think about it.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
The two most famous quotes ever said from speech were
that from what from a space? I'm sorry? Were that?
And then the other line, one small step for man,
one giant leap for mankind? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:34):
How did that work out?
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Both of those lines are famously known to be sett incorrectly.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
We're told that it was wrong.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
They wrote that line for him. The line I think
was supposed to be this is one small step for
one man, one giant leap for all of mankind. And
and he screwed up the line. What an idiot? Yeah, yeah,
they should never send him to space again.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I bet they don't. Houston, we have a problem. Alton
and Johnson
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