Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Times.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Sometimes men say ridiculous things and we call them out
for it.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Sometimes women say ridiculous things and.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
We call them. If we want to get any we
call them weekdays, billy.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Women, delightfully mysterious, Oh crap, crazy.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
I'm gonna go with the BCC on that one, all right.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It's an insane thing, a woman said, report and it's
brought to you by.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Uh, brought to you by a silver Slipper.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Now, women, understand, we like you a lot. You're my
favorite half of the species. We're not trying to insult you,
you know. But if you wanted to go on a
date to the Silver Slipper Casino, I think that'd be
a great place to take you.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Not careful because there's a hotel there, and it might
look like you're suggesting that this young lady who would
spend the night stay over with you in a room,
and that that would be presumptuous.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
We're not gonna do anything in that room except bild
a fort, watch a movie, maybe, drink a bottle of champagne,
eat some snacks, and brunch together.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
That's all we're gonna do. If you get that one room. Well,
there's several of them that have that massage chair. Y'all
can take turns in the chair. Sure, that's so fun?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
All right.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Over the weekend, a video went viral of a young
woman from the Houston, Texas area. Excuse me, who's then
tech fifth And she's explaining in the video it's a
dating she's in a dating contest. It's a dating show
as a group of men and a group of women,
and none of the men wanted to date this woman
after she.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Said this, Okay, I'm Riley, I'm twenty four, I'm from Houston, Texas,
and honestly I'm down for any good adventure. I just
got scuba died certified and I'm planning to go to
Australia this summer, so I'm super excited about that. And
then I just picked up skiing like two years ago,
and I honestly love any themed party like those are
like my favorite things to go to, my favorite things
(01:50):
to plan. And I'm looking for someone that wants to
be my adventure buddy. And it's someone that I can
trust in and is going to be there for me.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Oh all right, who wants today?
Speaker 3 (02:00):
All the guys are put on the spot now, anybody
show hands.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
It's a it's a little more than a dozen guys,
and boy, none of them are volunteering to datter.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
They're all just looking at each other, looking at No.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
You date her?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Man? Come on, those were a little mercy hump.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
All right, Here's what I think they didn't like. Here's
what the guys didn't like about Riley because.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
They a the sound of her voice, be her looks.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
They can't see her. She's behind a tarp. Yeah, there's
a divide in the dating app, so they don't know
what Riley looks like. It doesn't matter if she's hot
or not. They just heard her voice. And yes, I
think the lisp from houthon tech.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
That also you heard the subliminal undertones of I need
a man to pay for all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
It did sound like what she wanted to do was
participate in a very expensive hobby. And these are men
in their twenties who probably don't want to have to
pay for her to go scuba diving in Australia.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
No, I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
No, men are probably looking for a woman that likes
to cook or you know, like do guys things. And
you know, even at that age group defenseive Riley. I
would think if you match with a woman and she
just wants to play video games and watch TV and
sports or whatever, and that's what makes you attracted to her.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
It's possible that you're a little gay.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
That's possible that you're never going to actually mature and
turn into the full human being that you have the
potential to be, because you're just gonna find somebody else
to just lay around with, be catch potato the rest
of your life. Well there's that too. Yeah, you got
a point. But if she survives guba diving in Australia,
I say bring her back and you know, give it
(03:33):
another shot. Now she has shown I think some real
spirit there.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I went on two dates this weekend, and I'll just
tell you right now, as a guy that woke up
Monday morning, I am still single. Really, the first date
was a bigger tragedy than the second one. I'll tell
you the second story first because it's shorter. I was
asked to go to a comedy show with a large
group of people, and one of the people in the
group was a young woman who was single, and during
(03:59):
the entire night I probably spoke to her two times.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Well why were you so off?
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Well, there were a lot of people there, and she
was shy, and so I was. It's hard to go
on a date with six people, you know what I mean.
And by the way, the people that set me up
on this date, I love them. I have nothing but
good things to say. If they were they had the
best of intentions. But this young woman wanted to go
on a date, and she wanted.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
To date two, which I don't know when that scheduled,
if it's tonight or soon. Preps she'll open up a
bit more. She was reticent to show you her full
personality on day one.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I do feel like the kind of person that wants
to go on a date with me needs four escorts.
Probably it's not gonna work, you know what I mean.
It seems a lot, you know. But Friday night, that
was a bigger tragedy. Friday night, a political strategist who
had recently booked a guest on My afternoon show asked me, Kenny,
why are you single?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Uh huh?
Speaker 2 (04:51):
And I gave a short answer. You know, I've been
divorced a couple of years. You know, it's hard to
rush into a relationship after you've been in a relationship
for over a decade.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
One should not rush into and she says to me,
I know a woman.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
She's beautiful. She's singing.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Everybody know, Oh I got one for you.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, And so I said, all right, I'll take her out.
I took her to a nice restaurant Steve recommended, really good?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Was it King Steak? Kingsteak was at Oh oh my god? Yes,
kind of like.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
The comedy show. This was something I wanted to do anyway,
So I figured, why not just have a girl there?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
That's fine.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I show up at the restaurant at a time that
she picked, and she texts me and says, just so
you know, I'm always late. I will be there in
five minutes, which was not five minutes. Thirty minutes later,
she comes walking in the door. Now I've already made
the decision. After You're thirty minutes late, and she tells
me in the text, I'm always late for everything. As
soon as I read that, I was like, well, we're
(05:42):
never going to talk again after tonight.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
But I'm here now and probably already having a cocktail
or so.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
So she shows up thirty minutes late, sits down, and I,
you know, I was like, soh, you're you're single. I'm
saying what kind of guys are you interested in? She says,
I like men who are unobtainable. Now, do you guys
know what that's code for?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Because I do. That means she likes me marriage.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Yes, because well it's a little safer now the fun commitment.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
The fun twist here is this. If you like men
who are unobtainable, good news for you. I'm one of them,
because I'll never be in a relationship with you for
thirty minutes late for this date. If I have one
skill in this world, it's what I'm pretty much. Always
on time for things. Well, good for you. Kind of
have to be to do this for a living, right,
and always late. I will tell you that is one
of my pet peeves. People that are always late. Oh,
(06:28):
that drives me nuts. Over the next thirty minutes or so,
we talk a bit, and we talk about her life
and mine, and she explains to me that she's had
a venereal disease more than once.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
But we have been cured many times.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Yeah, that she and that she likes golfers, younger golfers.
Who's like, wait, younger golf you're interested She's like, yeah, golf.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Oh, you're talking about the sport where they hit the
ball with the clubs. Yes.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Now I'm a few years older than this woman. I
thought it was amazing. She told me I was too
old for her. I was like, well, don't worry about that.
I don't think you're gonna have to worry about my age.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
It sounds and I don't know this young lady, but
it sounds like that unobtainable is the only kind of
man out there for her.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Sounds like it, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
And at some point during the date, she asks me
if I want to be set up with one of
her friends. Well, and that's romantic, and I think what
she was looking for was for me to go no,
I don't want to do that. I want to be
with you. Course that is not what I did. I
was like, cool, set me up with her, and immediately
she looked mad. She brought it up, and then she
says to me, well, i'll introduce you to her. Why
(07:30):
don't you come hang out with me after this date's over,
I'll take you to go meet her. I was like, fine,
let's go. The date comes to an end and she
says to me, you know what, I changed my mind.
I want to go home and go to bed. I
was like, I have a feeling you did not change
your mind. I have a feeling you never wanted me
to meet this person. You were just hoping I would
show resistance when you said that.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
So she went home and went to bed with you. No, no,
she's not his home, to her own home.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Do you think I'm going to sleep with the woman
that just told me she'd had venereal disease more than once?
I am forty three years old. I've never had venaria
disease before, and I don't want to start now.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
But you would if if she'd have, you know, made
a half a move.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Towards the door. Huh No, Billy had no?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Well, yeah, wrap bat Rascal son.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Come on, if there's one thing I think I've learned
enough recently that I.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Didn't used to not getting any aren't you.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
All very comfortable?
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
So instead I went home and okay, and I got
the dog, and I got my box out from Berna.
Let's call it walk the dog. And I went over
to the low income neighborhood where the crack dealers at.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
And it is funny, and I.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Spent a night doing vigil anti work.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
And I have to tell you even though I got
shot twice and I'm still bleeding out of the side
of my leg, it was infinitely more satisfying than having
sex with the woman that's looking for a younger golfer
with venereal disease.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
I heard, Yeah, you did what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
You got the digits.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah, I'll give it to.
Speaker 5 (08:45):
You one more time. Walton in Johnson Radio Network.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Folks want to play the part of Ski of Ukraine,
Vladimir Zelenski. I would play like in a like a
like a comedy sketch or what.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
I just want you to put yourself in the in
the in the mind.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Of like just imagine. I'm hmming.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
And here's the deal. TRP says, you could pretty much
in that war this week. You gotta do two things.
One is drop this idea about joining the United Nations
or whatever it is. Yeah, and what was the second one?
Two things, but I don't remember what the second one was.
(09:34):
And then they did say something about you remember Crimea.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Crimea is the peninsula that Russia now controls that was
previously controlled by Ukraine, but during Obama's ten Obama they lost.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
It, David to Russia. Nobody said a word, not a
peep nothing, so you just get used to I'm assuming
they're saying, maybe you're gonna have to lean into giving
up some of the doubt Russia wants to stop the
war if they have to go back to the way
things were before the war started. Since they've spent three
(10:07):
years conquering some portions of Ukraine, they're probably not leaning
on you know, Oh, let's just act like nothing ever
happened to just give it all back.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Also, just so we're clear, Russia has a large and
powerful military industrial complex.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
How powerful are they they're having trouble with Ukraine.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
It's a significant part of their economy, a key element
in their military strength. The complex includes a vast network
of companies doing development, research, manufacturing. It's creating jobs. War
with Ukraine is probably great for their economy, except for
the part that they're having trouble with Ukraine.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Or are they?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Why is the rest of Europe real concerned about Russia
when they can't handle Ukraine? You think they're going to
handle an eighteen other countries or whatever. I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Do you remember more than once we made this point
during the Afghanistan War, that they could end the war
at any time. If they wanted to, they wanted the
war to go on for a long time. Is it
possible the same thing is true for Russia, that Russia
is actually getting everything they want from going to war
with Ukraine. Hell, they don't even have their own soldiers
out there now, They've got North Koreans on the front line.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
What do they care?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
And these guys are dirt cheap, It's like hiring child
slave labor in China.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
They don't care, apparently in Russia.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Right now, there's this report, I mean, there's a report
grain assault on this one claiming that Russia is importing
cheap North Korean slave labor in mass And it's not
just being used as mercenaries, but they're also using them
for manufacturing and cleaning their houses and that sort of thing.
And I gotta tell you, I'm a little jealous.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Now. Is it impossible that Putin is such a great
strategist that he's doing this to weaken the United States?
Give me an example, all right, and other It's not
just me. Other war strategists have thought of this. Most battles, invasions,
(12:01):
wars start with the bombing of the enemy. You've bombed
them for maybe weeks then after that you send in
the ground troops. Now, Putin ain't stupid.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
He's not stupid.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
He started the war with Ukraine by sending in ground troops.
What they've been doing for the last three years is
sucking money and weapons of war from America. That's true.
We've been giving it to Ukraine left and right for
three years, just giving it to us, giving up to them.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
Good.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, like mister oh last weekend with one of those
you heard exactly.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Yeah, everybody's thoughts the same thing. Right back in the
War to Go for nineteen ninety one, we bombed the
Bejesus out of Iraq for weeks before we send ground
troops in. That's how you conquer a country. Russia didn't
do that, and they're still not doing it. Maybe instead
of the fact that Russia looks weak because they can't
(12:58):
even handle Ukraine, maybe this is the old ropodope being
played right now, and Poutin's the puppeteer. What do you
think People.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Often make the point that North Korea is like China's bulldog.
What if and I'm just throwing this out there, what
if Russia is also China's bulldog. They're all part of
the bricks alliance, right, which is a little complicated in
and of itself because it involves China and India, who
aren't necessarily friendly. But one thing both of them agree
is they would like the United States of America to
(13:26):
not control the global economy.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Sure, so many other countries feel that way.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
So is your enemy of your enemy your friend? What
if your enemy of your enemy is also your enemy,
but your enemy that their enemy is with is more
of an enemy to you than the other enemy.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Right exactly.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
That's what you need to be careful about, right there.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I know it's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Luckily, guys like us are constantly thinking about these situations,
so you don't have to.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah, that's what we do, you know. I mean, if
you want to cause heroes, you can. We would never Oh,
that's up to you. Yeah, they say that. If I
wanted to say it, you could say it. At Walton
Johnson dot How did I forget about this? We have
a sale going on. Oh my god, I feel like
such a jerk.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Well all right.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
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where we sell all kinds of awesome merch you can
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Speaker 1 (14:20):
Yeah, we have all kinds.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Of great stuff going on because of the Gulf of
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obviously classic Walton and Johnson merchandise pursued a Happiness radio merchandise.
If you use the promo code shark snack and I
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(14:43):
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Speaker 1 (14:46):
I think remarkably.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Do we have any merch to honor a Bullwinkle? The
moose that attempted to crash the troop the Trump boot
and summit?
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Tell me more, Well, look there's a moose right there.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
See the little moose.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
In the Red Star.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
How do you know it's Bullwinkle.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
That's what they named it.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Oh well, if they named it Bowickle, it's things were kind.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Of on edge while everybody was waiting for Putin's plane
to land and Trump's plane to land, and then of
course out stumbles a moose. They named it Bullwinkle, who
tried to infiltrate Joint Base Elmendorf, Richardson and Anchorage, Alaska
before the meeting could take place. Luckily, luckily, both leader's
(15:29):
planes were able to land their respective jumbo jets safely
and they did get together. Then, once Putin survived the
moose infiltration, then he had to deal with navigating the
maze of old white people who had gathered along the
roadways and Anchorage with the dazzling display of cardboard signs
(15:53):
and Ukrainian flags, telling Putin we don't like you almost
as much as we don't like Trump. Yeah, it was
so rude. The bullies are stealing everything.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Oh no, they really are.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Well, I mean, I you know, I gotta think if
you just because you're hung like a moose doesn't mean
you gotta do porn.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
You know, that's exactly right. And that's what I always
tell people. You do, don't you?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Every day of my life? What do we learn today
on the show boys? Anything?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
You don't particularly care for girls with VD?
Speaker 1 (16:23):
No, I don't. I'd prefer they not have it.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
That's something new for us to think about.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
War is bad, well for who if you're gonna go
on a blind date? Don't bring six people with that's
probably a little awkward. Yeah, hard to. And Panda Express
is where Mexicans make Chinese food for black people, according.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
To now you know the rest of it information.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Right, John, don't forget boys and girls too, don't get
it every day.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Hey again, you've reached the end of the Walton and
Johnson podcast. Good for you. That means you listened all
the way to the end.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Does it mean we're going away now never to be
heard again?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
No, no, no, there will be a new show tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or we're off work.
But as always, you could go to waltonand Johnson dot
com and you could find all kinds of cool stuff there.
Our news blog links to our social media accounts. Believe
it or not, our personal lives are very boring. If
you comment on our social media pages, we might reply yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Chances are we're just sitting around waiting to hear from you.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Yeah, so, what's the big deal? Go to Walton Johnson
dot com today. I'm told there's a store. Oh yes,
we do have a lovely store and you could buy
things there. Walton Johnson dot com. What's not to love
Times.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Sometimes men say ridiculous things and we call them out
for it.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Sometimes women say ridiculous things and.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
We call them. If we want to get any we
call them weekdays, billy.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Women, delightfully mysterious, Oh crap, crazy.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
I'm gonna go with the BCC on that one, all right.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It's an insane thing, a woman said, report and it's
brought to you by.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Uh, brought to you by a silver Slipper.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Now, women, understand, we like you a lot. You're my
favorite half of the species. We're not trying to insult you,
you know. But if you wanted to go on a
date to the Silver Slipper Casino, I think that'd be
a great place to take you.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Not careful because there's a hotel there, and it might
look like you're suggesting that this young lady who would
spend the night stay over with you in a room,
and that that would be presumptuous.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
We're not gonna do anything in that room except bild
a fort, watch a movie, maybe, drink a bottle of champagne,
eat some snacks, and brunch together.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
That's all we're gonna do. If you get that one room. Well,
there's several of them that have that massage chair. Y'all
can take turns in the chair. Sure, that's so fun?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
All right.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Over the weekend, a video went viral of a young
woman from the Houston, Texas area. Excuse me, who's then
tech fifth And she's explaining in the video it's a
dating she's in a dating contest. It's a dating show
as a group of men and a group of women,
and none of the men wanted to date this woman
after she.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Said this, Okay, I'm Riley, I'm twenty four, I'm from Houston, Texas,
and honestly I'm down for any good adventure. I just
got scuba died certified and I'm planning to go to
Australia this summer, so I'm super excited about that. And
then I just picked up skiing like two years ago,
and I honestly love any themed party like those are
like my favorite things to go to, my favorite things
(01:50):
to plan. And I'm looking for someone that wants to
be my adventure buddy. And it's someone that I can
trust in and is going to be there for me.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Oh all right, who wants today?
Speaker 3 (02:00):
All the guys are put on the spot now, anybody
show hands.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
It's a it's a little more than a dozen guys,
and boy, none of them are volunteering to datter.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
They're all just looking at each other, looking at No.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
You date her?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Man? Come on, those were a little mercy hump.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
All right, Here's what I think they didn't like. Here's
what the guys didn't like about Riley because.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
They a the sound of her voice, be her looks.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
They can't see her. She's behind a tarp. Yeah, there's
a divide in the dating app, so they don't know
what Riley looks like. It doesn't matter if she's hot
or not. They just heard her voice. And yes, I
think the lisp from houthon tech.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
That also you heard the subliminal undertones of I need
a man to pay for all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
It did sound like what she wanted to do was
participate in a very expensive hobby. And these are men
in their twenties who probably don't want to have to
pay for her to go scuba diving in Australia.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
No, I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
No, men are probably looking for a woman that likes
to cook or you know, like do guys things. And
you know, even at that age group defenseive Riley. I
would think if you match with a woman and she
just wants to play video games and watch TV and
sports or whatever, and that's what makes you attracted to her.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
It's possible that you're a little gay.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
That's possible that you're never going to actually mature and
turn into the full human being that you have the
potential to be, because you're just gonna find somebody else
to just lay around with, be catch potato the rest
of your life. Well there's that too. Yeah, you got
a point. But if she survives guba diving in Australia,
I say bring her back and you know, give it
(03:33):
another shot. Now she has shown I think some real
spirit there.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I went on two dates this weekend, and I'll just
tell you right now, as a guy that woke up
Monday morning, I am still single. Really, the first date
was a bigger tragedy than the second one. I'll tell
you the second story first because it's shorter. I was
asked to go to a comedy show with a large
group of people, and one of the people in the
group was a young woman who was single, and during
(03:59):
the entire night I probably spoke to her two times.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Well why were you so off?
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Well, there were a lot of people there, and she
was shy, and so I was. It's hard to go
on a date with six people, you know what I mean.
And by the way, the people that set me up
on this date, I love them. I have nothing but
good things to say. If they were they had the
best of intentions. But this young woman wanted to go
on a date, and she wanted.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
To date two, which I don't know when that scheduled,
if it's tonight or soon. Preps she'll open up a
bit more. She was reticent to show you her full
personality on day one.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I do feel like the kind of person that wants
to go on a date with me needs four escorts.
Probably it's not gonna work, you know what I mean.
It seems a lot, you know. But Friday night, that
was a bigger tragedy. Friday night, a political strategist who
had recently booked a guest on My afternoon show asked me, Kenny,
why are you single?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Uh huh?
Speaker 2 (04:51):
And I gave a short answer. You know, I've been
divorced a couple of years. You know, it's hard to
rush into a relationship after you've been in a relationship
for over a decade.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
One should not rush into and she says to me,
I know a woman.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
She's beautiful. She's singing.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Everybody know, Oh I got one for you.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, And so I said, all right, I'll take her out.
I took her to a nice restaurant Steve recommended, really good?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Was it King Steak? Kingsteak was at Oh oh my god? Yes,
kind of like.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
The comedy show. This was something I wanted to do anyway,
So I figured, why not just have a girl there?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
That's fine.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I show up at the restaurant at a time that
she picked, and she texts me and says, just so
you know, I'm always late. I will be there in
five minutes, which was not five minutes. Thirty minutes later,
she comes walking in the door. Now I've already made
the decision. After You're thirty minutes late, and she tells
me in the text, I'm always late for everything. As
soon as I read that, I was like, well, we're
(05:42):
never going to talk again after tonight.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
But I'm here now and probably already having a cocktail
or so.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
So she shows up thirty minutes late, sits down, and I,
you know, I was like, soh, you're you're single. I'm
saying what kind of guys are you interested in? She says,
I like men who are unobtainable. Now, do you guys
know what that's code for?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Because I do. That means she likes me marriage.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Yes, because well it's a little safer now the fun commitment.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
The fun twist here is this. If you like men
who are unobtainable, good news for you. I'm one of them,
because I'll never be in a relationship with you for
thirty minutes late for this date. If I have one
skill in this world, it's what I'm pretty much. Always
on time for things. Well, good for you. Kind of
have to be to do this for a living, right,
and always late. I will tell you that is one
of my pet peeves. People that are always late. Oh,
(06:28):
that drives me nuts. Over the next thirty minutes or so,
we talk a bit, and we talk about her life
and mine, and she explains to me that she's had
a venereal disease more than once.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
But we have been cured many times.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Yeah, that she and that she likes golfers, younger golfers.
Who's like, wait, younger golf you're interested She's like, yeah, golf.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Oh, you're talking about the sport where they hit the
ball with the clubs. Yes.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Now I'm a few years older than this woman. I
thought it was amazing. She told me I was too
old for her. I was like, well, don't worry about that.
I don't think you're gonna have to worry about my age.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
It sounds and I don't know this young lady, but
it sounds like that unobtainable is the only kind of
man out there for her.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Sounds like it, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
And at some point during the date, she asks me
if I want to be set up with one of
her friends. Well, and that's romantic, and I think what
she was looking for was for me to go no,
I don't want to do that. I want to be
with you. Course that is not what I did. I
was like, cool, set me up with her, and immediately
she looked mad. She brought it up, and then she
says to me, well, i'll introduce you to her. Why
(07:30):
don't you come hang out with me after this date's over,
I'll take you to go meet her. I was like, fine,
let's go. The date comes to an end and she
says to me, you know what, I changed my mind.
I want to go home and go to bed. I
was like, I have a feeling you did not change
your mind. I have a feeling you never wanted me
to meet this person. You were just hoping I would
show resistance when you said that.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
So she went home and went to bed with you. No, no,
she's not his home, to her own home.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Do you think I'm going to sleep with the woman
that just told me she'd had venereal disease more than once?
I am forty three years old. I've never had venaria
disease before, and I don't want to start now.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
But you would if if she'd have, you know, made
a half a move.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Towards the door. Huh No, Billy had no?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Well, yeah, wrap bat Rascal son.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Come on, if there's one thing I think I've learned
enough recently that I.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Didn't used to not getting any aren't you.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
All very comfortable?
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
So instead I went home and okay, and I got
the dog, and I got my box out from Berna.
Let's call it walk the dog. And I went over
to the low income neighborhood where the crack dealers at.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
And it is funny, and I.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Spent a night doing vigil anti work.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
And I have to tell you even though I got
shot twice and I'm still bleeding out of the side
of my leg, it was infinitely more satisfying than having
sex with the woman that's looking for a younger golfer
with venereal disease.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
I heard, Yeah, you did what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
You got the digits.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah, I'll give it to.
Speaker 5 (08:45):
You one more time. Walton in Johnson Radio Network.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Folks want to play the part of Ski of Ukraine,
Vladimir Zelenski. I would play like in a like a
like a comedy sketch or what.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
I just want you to put yourself in the in
the in the mind.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Of like just imagine. I'm hmming.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
And here's the deal. TRP says, you could pretty much
in that war this week. You gotta do two things.
One is drop this idea about joining the United Nations
or whatever it is. Yeah, and what was the second one?
Two things, but I don't remember what the second one was.
(09:34):
And then they did say something about you remember Crimea.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Crimea is the peninsula that Russia now controls that was
previously controlled by Ukraine, but during Obama's ten Obama they lost.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
It, David to Russia. Nobody said a word, not a
peep nothing, so you just get used to I'm assuming
they're saying, maybe you're gonna have to lean into giving
up some of the doubt Russia wants to stop the
war if they have to go back to the way
things were before the war started. Since they've spent three
(10:07):
years conquering some portions of Ukraine, they're probably not leaning
on you know, Oh, let's just act like nothing ever
happened to just give it all back.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Also, just so we're clear, Russia has a large and
powerful military industrial complex.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
How powerful are they they're having trouble with Ukraine.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
It's a significant part of their economy, a key element
in their military strength. The complex includes a vast network
of companies doing development, research, manufacturing. It's creating jobs. War
with Ukraine is probably great for their economy, except for
the part that they're having trouble with Ukraine.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Or are they?
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Why is the rest of Europe real concerned about Russia
when they can't handle Ukraine? You think they're going to
handle an eighteen other countries or whatever. I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Do you remember more than once we made this point
during the Afghanistan War, that they could end the war
at any time. If they wanted to, they wanted the
war to go on for a long time. Is it
possible the same thing is true for Russia, that Russia
is actually getting everything they want from going to war
with Ukraine. Hell, they don't even have their own soldiers
out there now, They've got North Koreans on the front line.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
What do they care?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
And these guys are dirt cheap, It's like hiring child
slave labor in China.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
They don't care, apparently in Russia.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Right now, there's this report, I mean, there's a report
grain assault on this one claiming that Russia is importing
cheap North Korean slave labor in mass And it's not
just being used as mercenaries, but they're also using them
for manufacturing and cleaning their houses and that sort of thing.
And I gotta tell you, I'm a little jealous.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Now. Is it impossible that Putin is such a great
strategist that he's doing this to weaken the United States?
Give me an example, all right, and other It's not
just me. Other war strategists have thought of this. Most battles, invasions,
(12:01):
wars start with the bombing of the enemy. You've bombed
them for maybe weeks then after that you send in
the ground troops. Now, Putin ain't stupid.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
He's not stupid.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
He started the war with Ukraine by sending in ground troops.
What they've been doing for the last three years is
sucking money and weapons of war from America. That's true.
We've been giving it to Ukraine left and right for
three years, just giving it to us, giving up to them.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
Good.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, like mister oh last weekend with one of those
you heard exactly.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Yeah, everybody's thoughts the same thing. Right back in the
War to Go for nineteen ninety one, we bombed the
Bejesus out of Iraq for weeks before we send ground
troops in. That's how you conquer a country. Russia didn't
do that, and they're still not doing it. Maybe instead
of the fact that Russia looks weak because they can't
(12:58):
even handle Ukraine, maybe this is the old ropodope being
played right now, and Poutin's the puppeteer. What do you
think People.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Often make the point that North Korea is like China's bulldog.
What if and I'm just throwing this out there, what
if Russia is also China's bulldog. They're all part of
the bricks alliance, right, which is a little complicated in
and of itself because it involves China and India, who
aren't necessarily friendly. But one thing both of them agree
is they would like the United States of America to
(13:26):
not control the global economy.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Sure, so many other countries feel that way.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
So is your enemy of your enemy your friend? What
if your enemy of your enemy is also your enemy,
but your enemy that their enemy is with is more
of an enemy to you than the other enemy.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Right exactly.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
That's what you need to be careful about, right there.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I know it's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Luckily, guys like us are constantly thinking about these situations,
so you don't have to.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah, that's what we do, you know. I mean, if
you want to cause heroes, you can. We would never Oh,
that's up to you. Yeah, they say that. If I
wanted to say it, you could say it. At Walton
Johnson dot How did I forget about this? We have
a sale going on. Oh my god, I feel like
such a jerk.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Well all right.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
If you go to I LOVEWJ dot com right now,
where we sell all kinds of awesome merch you can
get twenty percent off if you use the promo code
shark Snack Man Shark Snack.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Yeah, we have all kinds.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Of great stuff going on because of the Gulf of
America stuff Alligator Alcatraz, Doge merch seventeen seventy six merch
obviously classic Walton and Johnson merchandise pursued a Happiness radio merchandise.
If you use the promo code shark snack and I
love WJ dot com or obviously you can still shop
within the Walton and Johnson's smartphone app, you get twenty
(14:43):
percent off on that merchandise, which was already priced pretty low.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I think remarkably.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Do we have any merch to honor a Bullwinkle? The
moose that attempted to crash the troop the Trump boot
and summit?
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Tell me more, Well, look there's a moose right there.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
See the little moose.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
In the Red Star.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
How do you know it's Bullwinkle.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
That's what they named it.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Oh well, if they named it Bowickle, it's things were kind.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Of on edge while everybody was waiting for Putin's plane
to land and Trump's plane to land, and then of
course out stumbles a moose. They named it Bullwinkle, who
tried to infiltrate Joint Base Elmendorf, Richardson and Anchorage, Alaska
before the meeting could take place. Luckily, luckily, both leader's
(15:29):
planes were able to land their respective jumbo jets safely
and they did get together. Then, once Putin survived the
moose infiltration, then he had to deal with navigating the
maze of old white people who had gathered along the
roadways and Anchorage with the dazzling display of cardboard signs
(15:53):
and Ukrainian flags, telling Putin we don't like you almost
as much as we don't like Trump. Yeah, it was
so rude. The bullies are stealing everything.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Oh no, they really are.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Well, I mean, I you know, I gotta think if
you just because you're hung like a moose doesn't mean
you gotta do porn.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
You know, that's exactly right. And that's what I always
tell people. You do, don't you?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Every day of my life? What do we learn today
on the show boys? Anything?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
You don't particularly care for girls with VD?
Speaker 1 (16:23):
No, I don't. I'd prefer they not have it.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
That's something new for us to think about.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
War is bad, well for who if you're gonna go
on a blind date? Don't bring six people with that's
probably a little awkward. Yeah, hard to. And Panda Express
is where Mexicans make Chinese food for black people, according.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
To now you know the rest of it information.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Right, John, don't forget boys and girls too, don't get
it every day.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Hey again, you've reached the end of the Walton and
Johnson podcast. Good for you. That means you listened all
the way to the end.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Does it mean we're going away now never to be
heard again?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
No, no, no, there will be a new show tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or we're off work.
But as always, you could go to waltonand Johnson dot
com and you could find all kinds of cool stuff there.
Our news blog links to our social media accounts. Believe
it or not, our personal lives are very boring. If
you comment on our social media pages, we might reply yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
Chances are we're just sitting around waiting to hear from you.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Yeah, so, what's the big deal? Go to Walton Johnson
dot com today. I'm told there's a store. Oh yes,
we do have a lovely store and you could buy
things there. Walton Johnson dot com. What's not to love
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