Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I just don't feel like we satisfied the curiosity of
the Walton Johnson listening audience in regards to what exactly
he wants to back up on that man with a
thermoist up his hind leg or handy in there.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I mean, he backs up on everything. Now, I would
like to back.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Up on the story about the man who had a
thermost up his his.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hoho ha, his no, what did the sheriff call it? His?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
His?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
No, man's land exit ramp, his rectum exit not Andrew. Anyway,
our listeners are quite curious how does a guy get
a thermost that big up there in the first place,
because obviously it's it's huge. I mean we've seen look
at here's why, and we probably should have explained this earlier.
(00:47):
He has You did say he has a long rap
sheet list of charges. He's got at least twenty five
previous arrests, and he has been in prison five separate
at times. Uh, that's how you get it up there.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, that makes perfect sense.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
After five times in prison. Oh, there's no limit to
the things you can put. Oh, and he did have
drugs on him what is known as a prison wallet
for a reason. But the drugs weren't in there. Where
were they? They were in his pocket. They found a
meth pipe on him. Wait, he had a meth pipe
in his pocket. He had a thermid in his rectum.
He shouldn't have done that. The opposite way. Could have
put the pipe inside the thermos, you know, but it
(01:28):
might have rattled.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yeah, would have made noise for sure. That a dead
giveaway right there. That's glass on metal sound, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
And we got an email from uh Chad. Chad says,
I'm kind of like Kenny. I like to watch the
leftist news sites so other people don't have to. Yeah,
I like to know what they're saying, especially when Trump
does something good, because then you see them struggle to
try to explain the news without complaining that he did
something good.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
In a pessimistic way. They give you great news.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
But then Trump did something so good yesterday that even
the liberal media couldn't deny it. So on the mobile
site for MSNBC, he said, I'm looking at it on
the phone, and there it is the Trump piece.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Deal.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
It's only the seventh article down the list, after six
hit pieces on Trump and all the terrible things that
he's done.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Oh yeah, Trump's the worst. She finally got around it.
Oh and yeah, some piece in the Middle East, But
you know, really, who cares any ANDed a war where
thousands of people were dying every day? But other than that,
did you hear what he said to that journalist? Oh,
I rude Speaking of journalists, rude ones. Yesterday, Donald Trump
gathered together with various independent journalists to discussing in Tifa.
We had some friends that were there at the meeting.
(02:40):
One person I don't know personally is Brandy Cruz, an
independent journalist who admits, admitted to Trump's face that you
can be cured of Trump derangement syndrome. And she knows
because she was.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
I'm living proof that you can recover from TDS. I
had strong Trump derangement syndrome for.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Probably eight years.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Wow, it's this is one of the reasons I recovered
from it. And by the way, it's much better to
not have TDS. I'm happier, I'm healthier, more successful. I
even think I got a little more attractive.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Agents.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
You know, I watched I'm a reporter in Seattle, and frankly,
I could not care any less what any.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Of you have to say about this meeting.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Could not care any less. We're not here for you.
I'm not here to convince any of you that Antifa
is a real thing, because if you have not come
to that conclusion by now, you are never going to
come to that conclusion because you don't want to see it,
and you're gonna go and you're gonna say it's a
bunch of right wing conservative influencers who are here spinning
a tail. I was one of you. I was a
mainstream reporter in Seattle for ten years. I was a
(03:47):
TV reporter on the streets doing my job, and I
was still assaulted by Antifa. So it's not about being conservative.
It's about people who go there and show what they're doing.
And what I saw after all those years that the
media wouldn't be honest about what was happening, that democratic
politicians wouldn't be honest about what was happening, I thought, well, gosh,
(04:07):
if they're not being honest about that, maybe they're not
being honest about President Trump either. And it opened my
mind to just looking at things for what they were.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Wow, she's obviously a plant of the right wing conspiracy
to turn this into a dictatorship.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
That's what they're thinking. Anyway, I know, she seems pretty
great to me.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Did I miss what she said at the very beginning
that cured her of her trumpet derangement syndrome?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Well, she was reporting on Antifa, she was violently attacked
by Antifa.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
I heard all that, But at the very beginning she said,
I used to have it, and that's what cured me.
Was she talking about reporting from the street?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I believe so, yeah, exactly what was that getting out
in your report? Having the left say that Antifa wasn't
real when she herself had been violently assaulted by Antifa.
If you're out violently attacking a petit, white blonde lady
with a microphone while they're covering your protest, and that's
the weirdest thing. The news is there to cover your protests.
The whole reason you're doing this is because you want attention.
(05:09):
That has to be the only reasonbously, And so you're
getting attention, and you're mad at the people for giving
you attention. Is it possible you're just an insane person.
What do you hope to achieve? Did you think that
you and your friends were gonna put on basketball or
what is it bicycle helmets and get baseball hats and
wear like a plastic garbage can as a shield, and
(05:30):
you were going to conquer America for the communists.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Funny hats fun Yeah, yeah, like sombreros. Well, they can
be funny if they're in an out of place.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Who wrote that email again, the guy that was talking
about looking at MSNBC's smartphone app. I wonder if one
of the stories that they put before the story about
Trump negotiating the Israel Gaza piece deal, was a story
about how Trump keeps posting sombrero memes because they really
are mad about that. You never know.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
What's some innocuous little thing. It's just gonna set somebody off, And.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
That really did. Yeah. The FDA says, Hello fresh meals
may contain listeria contaminated spinach, so if you eat them,
your bathroom will become hello, not so fresh, so be
careful about that. In FYI, Nice Annie Disneyland guest has
died on the Haunted Mansion ride. Her cause of death
is listed as taking a theme park ride too.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Seriously, don't do that. Yeah, that's that's a problem. I
think so too.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Southern Baptist Church has disciplined and removed a Texas man
from membership for his anti immigration opinions. No, really, this
actually happened. There's a guy named Daniel Keene. He says,
since I'm no longer a member of the church and
my now former elders have made public statements on the issue,
I'd like to thank And then he posted a journalist's
name here for accurately covering the story. Sebastian Pastrito published
(06:53):
a story about how this guy was kicked out of
a church because he believed in enforcing immigration laws. And
you're probably thinking, how could it be that, Well, it's
a real thing. The man had his business boundaries coffee
targeted and harassed. He was kicked out of his CrossFit gym.
He was disciplined and removed from the conservative Southern Baptist
Church for saying, and wait for it, he wanted his
(07:13):
American kids to grow up in America and not India.
Uh huh can you blame it? Well, I mean it's
kind of how I feel too. I'm in America.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Then where are your kids currently growing up? I mean, ah,
they're in the trajectory to grow up in America. That's
how you plan it that way.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Anyway, Well, I'm keeping all my DNA in America, you know,
sometimes in a laundry hamper in my bathroom. It doesn't
matter where it is, but it doesn't matter. Yeah, But
the point is that's where they're gonna you know, that's
where the kids are gonna blossom up. When I can
men can have babies. Now, I don't know why you're
picking on me. Well, why didn't you yet? Then I
haven't found a woman to impregnate me. I'm trying. If
(07:52):
you just concentrate really hard, I think you can do
it yourself. You know what. I used to always think
it'd be funny to grow a penis out of my forehead,
so you know what a woman is sat there and
I focused on that and I never grew one. It
never worked.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
But you keep hitting yourself on the forehead over and
over like you do have a penis up there.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I'm trying. Well, you know, one of the definitions of
insanity is to give up early. So I'm just gonna
keep trying the same thing over and over. Yeah, dan
wan wan, you're listening to the Waltman Johnson Radio Network.
I love a good conspiracy theory, and we've got one.
All right, what's the conspiracy theory.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Okay, remember yesterday around the same time, somebody brought up
Bob Ross, the Happy Tree Painter guy, and Billy had
said that he'd been watching him recently and has a
new appreciation for his art and his skills.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah, but it's just the same show over and over again.
He never does anything different, but.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
The scenes are all different. They're slightly different, they said.
Bob Ross. In his time on you know the painting show,
he painted approximately four hundred I think the actual count
was four hundred and three different paintings, and about ninety
one percent of them had at least one tree in it.
(09:05):
So that's the guy why they was famous for his
happy trees. We're just gonna put a little happy tree
right up in here. We're just gonna edge him in,
and we're gonna give him a little company up in
here and here. So here is the conspiracy theory, okay,
sent to us by Wes from Marshall, Texas. He said,
you were talking about serial killers earlier, and what if
(09:25):
Bob Ross, Happy Tree Painter, was actually a serial killer
and all of his paintings were locations where his victims
have been buried.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Man, but just give it a minute to see ken.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yeah, look here, We've got these beautiful waterfalls in these
beautiful mountains, and I'm gonna put a tree right here.
And the reason for that is because I put a
dead guy right underneath that tree.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah, you know what this is bothering me?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
That is too accurate, too likely to be the cave
to just you know, just shrug it off like there's
just silly, do you guys?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
You guys think that could really happen. It could.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
But what's even worse is that somebody, and I think
it was you, accused him of being gay. Not that
there's anything wrong with the who Bob Ross or mister
Kenna Bob Ross, Well, he does seem a little of
he did, but he did twenty years of military service
in this Man's Air Force Master sergeant. I believe he
got to has a son, and I think three times
(10:31):
that he was married. None of that means he wasn't gay,
but it doesn't look like he necessarily was.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Either you can be gay and be in the military,
I know you can. You can be gay and marry
a woman, man, I just said.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
None of that means he wasn't, but it also doesn't
look like he really, you know, was and if he
was sure, wasn't trying to announce it to the world.
Was he what we appreciate by the way Freddie Mercury
had a fiance. I'm just saying, Uh, what's the most
you'd pay for a cheeseburger?
Speaker 2 (10:58):
You don't, don't.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I don't think maybe the serial killer thing is worth investigating.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
No, no, do not look into whether or not it's
a serial killer. I'm telling you it's a waste of time.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
That's what another serial killer might say to protect one
of his own.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I agree that a lot of the things I've said
about this would be what a serial killer would say,
But I'm not one, and neither see he's not. Neither
of us are serial killers. We're not going around killing
pedophiles and hiding their bodies. Stop saying that to people.
We know the full thut because he said so, yeah,
and I'm sick of hearing about it, so it's right,
so put it to bad mm hmm. Anyway, a restaurant
(11:33):
in Spain has an eleven thousand dollars cheeseburger, and I
think that's ridiculous. You know, here in America you can
get a friese and a drink for the same price.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah, but they probably have Bidenomics over there in Spain.
That is probably that's what happened.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Now, Eleven thousand dollars for a cheeseburger seems pretty expensive.
You may not want to try it. You could try this.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
At ocidor Alpa in Barcelona, Spain. They're serving the world's
most expensive burger. The price eleven thousand dollars, made from
three best meats in the world, Europe's fanciest cheese, and
is sauce infused with luxury spirits. You can't even pronounce.
You can't just order it. You have to have an invitation,
(12:11):
and there's a waiting list for twenty twenty six.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
But hey, it's still just a burger. So if you're
hungry now, maybe skip the velvet rope and hit the
drive through. Ten Bucks fries included the world's.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Most expensive burger.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
No thanks, coming never threw a wallet near me. Shouldn't
they have been telling us the price in euros? Are
you trying to explain a comedy event? We saved for
the end of the show because we didn't think it
was very good. Well, I'd just like a little bit
more accuracy.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
The euro exchange to the dollar is only eighty six cents.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
All right, you want to talk about money. A fight
broke out at a family Dollar in North Carolina. Or
of course it did over a NASCAR shirt and it
ended with one person pointing a gun at the other person. Well,
of course it did. Here's a family member of someone
that was inside the Family Dollar talking about how shocked
today work.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
I'm afraid for those that are working that are still
employed there. And she asked her to give her the
shirt that she wanted the shirt. So the lady of
course told to know she wasn't going to give her
the shirt and came back with a gun, waving it
at everyone going in the store. When the lady's seen her,
she pointed the gun at her head, and the little
(13:22):
girl just laid there in like fetal positions.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
You see this one.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
This would have never happened at five below. That's why
I go to five below. Five below. Five blows five below.
You've never been to five below. It's class I guess
I think it's much classier than family dollar. Family is
that in the mall or something?
Speaker 2 (13:39):
It goes in this order five below dollar general, family dollar,
Family dollar is always on the bottom of that. That's
just not a good place to be.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
So there are five blows around here. Yeah, they're all
over the place. Five below. I guarantee Billy Ed's been
to a five below. He's messing with me. You've never
been to a five below.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
I don't know how else to say it other than no,
these things are all over the place. Well, Pralean's been
to one. I'll tell you. I don't keep with her. Look,
you know what I like about five below. It's your
Halloween decoration deal headquarters. You don't need to pay for
those fancy Halloween decorations at home depot. Five blow's got
you covered for five dollars or less on every item.
That's what I get a dollar every time you say
(14:17):
five below. Now they are giving me nothing. Actually, I
once got stabbed at a five below. It's actually very
dangerous too. I just want to wait to get stabbed
ut below. Yeah, right down below, just below right? Yeah,
how do you know? Oh, I guess I must have
told you this story before. Yeah, I heard about all
your stabbings. I end never seeing the actual stab skull
as the wounds who we had healed up though. You
(14:37):
you keep saying it's in a delicate area. You didn't
want to show it another man, Well, yeah, I wouldn't
want to show it to you. You wouldn't want to
see it either, Yeah, I looking at that, No, it
looks terrible.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
I once watched a woman walk through the Dollar General
over there in Grihams County.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
You ever go to the store and you pick up
a little something to nibble on while you shop?
Speaker 2 (14:57):
You know? I do that, and then I I'd been
told not to do it. But then that's the thing.
Ask for forgiveness, not permission. I'm not saying you're stealing nothing.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
I'm saying let's say you want to sack up a
half a dozen donuts. All right, So you you put
a half a dozen donuts in the sack there, and
you get the price for it.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
You put a little sticker on it.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Half a dozen donuts, and then you know, maybe you
eat one or.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Two while you're shopping.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Have you ever been in the produce style, get charged
for the half dozen when you show them the sack. Now,
if you eat all the donuts and then while the
sack up and throw it behind the big stack of
you know, toilet paper at that's that's stealing, and you
can do it with grapes, you know, and then then
that's that is stealing because they don't get to weigh
them and charge you for them.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
You ever see a woman in the Productyle walk up?
She'll eat one grape walk away and won't even get
any Oh sure, I know, I can't. That is that crazy.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
But I watched a woman she was she was gonna pay,
she went stealing. She's walking through the Dollar General and
she was eating ice cream while she shopped. Oh yeah, why,
I mean, what's the difference for that in your donuts store?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Was that the ice cream that all those kids liked
for their TikTok accounts? Probably? But no.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
The real setback to me on this was that she
did not have a spoon. She was doing like a bear.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
You know what? He just going at that that tub
ice cream? Man.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Mister, Oh, isn't that how you said you met your
last girlfriend? I said, I was looking for a spoon
and she had one. Oh yeah, I get wise scream involved.
I guess I was confused about how that story went.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Spoon. Hey, quick reminder, this Saturday night, we'll be doing
stand up comedy in Waco. You can get the tickets
at Jesse Peyton's website Jesse is Funny dot com. And
you know who else was funny? He really was a
funny guy, or Buddy John don't forget boys and girls too,
eat it every day. Hey again, you've reached the end
of the Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you. That
(16:50):
means you listened all the way to the end.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Does it mean we're going away now never to be
heard again? No, no, no, there will be a news
show tomorrow. Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or
we're off work. But as always, you could go to
waltonand Johnson dot com and you could find all kinds
of cool stuff there. Our news blog links to our
social media accounts. Believe it or not, our personal lives
are very boring. If you comment on our social media pages,
(17:12):
we might reply yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Chances are we're just sitting around waiting to hear from you. Yeah, so,
what's the big deal? Go to Walton Johnson dot com today.
I'm told there's a store. Oh yes, we do have
a lovely store and you could buy things there Walton
Johnson dot com. What's not to love
I just don't feel like we satisfied the curiosity of
the Walton Johnson listening audience in regards to what exactly
he wants to back up on that man with a
thermoist up his hind leg or handy in there.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I mean, he backs up on everything. Now, I would
like to back.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Up on the story about the man who had a
thermost up his his.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hoho ha, his no, what did the sheriff call it? His?
Speaker 3 (00:25):
His?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
No, man's land exit ramp, his rectum exit not Andrew. Anyway,
our listeners are quite curious how does a guy get
a thermost that big up there in the first place,
because obviously it's it's huge. I mean we've seen look
at here's why, and we probably should have explained this earlier.
(00:47):
He has You did say he has a long rap
sheet list of charges. He's got at least twenty five
previous arrests, and he has been in prison five separate
at times. Uh, that's how you get it up there.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, that makes perfect sense.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
After five times in prison. Oh, there's no limit to
the things you can put. Oh, and he did have
drugs on him what is known as a prison wallet
for a reason. But the drugs weren't in there. Where
were they? They were in his pocket. They found a
meth pipe on him. Wait, he had a meth pipe
in his pocket. He had a thermid in his rectum.
He shouldn't have done that. The opposite way. Could have
put the pipe inside the thermos, you know, but it
(01:28):
might have rattled.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yeah, would have made noise for sure. That a dead
giveaway right there. That's glass on metal sound, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
And we got an email from uh Chad. Chad says,
I'm kind of like Kenny. I like to watch the
leftist news sites so other people don't have to. Yeah,
I like to know what they're saying, especially when Trump
does something good, because then you see them struggle to
try to explain the news without complaining that he did
something good.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
In a pessimistic way. They give you great news.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
But then Trump did something so good yesterday that even
the liberal media couldn't deny it. So on the mobile
site for MSNBC, he said, I'm looking at it on
the phone, and there it is the Trump piece.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Deal.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
It's only the seventh article down the list, after six
hit pieces on Trump and all the terrible things that
he's done.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Oh yeah, Trump's the worst. She finally got around it.
Oh and yeah, some piece in the Middle East, But
you know, really, who cares any ANDed a war where
thousands of people were dying every day? But other than that,
did you hear what he said to that journalist? Oh,
I rude Speaking of journalists, rude ones. Yesterday, Donald Trump
gathered together with various independent journalists to discussing in Tifa.
We had some friends that were there at the meeting.
(02:40):
One person I don't know personally is Brandy Cruz, an
independent journalist who admits, admitted to Trump's face that you
can be cured of Trump derangement syndrome. And she knows
because she was.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
I'm living proof that you can recover from TDS. I
had strong Trump derangement syndrome for.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Probably eight years.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Wow, it's this is one of the reasons I recovered
from it. And by the way, it's much better to
not have TDS. I'm happier, I'm healthier, more successful. I
even think I got a little more attractive.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Agents.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
You know, I watched I'm a reporter in Seattle, and frankly,
I could not care any less what any.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Of you have to say about this meeting.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Could not care any less. We're not here for you.
I'm not here to convince any of you that Antifa
is a real thing, because if you have not come
to that conclusion by now, you are never going to
come to that conclusion because you don't want to see it,
and you're gonna go and you're gonna say it's a
bunch of right wing conservative influencers who are here spinning
a tail. I was one of you. I was a
mainstream reporter in Seattle for ten years. I was a
(03:47):
TV reporter on the streets doing my job, and I
was still assaulted by Antifa. So it's not about being conservative.
It's about people who go there and show what they're doing.
And what I saw after all those years that the
media wouldn't be honest about what was happening, that democratic
politicians wouldn't be honest about what was happening, I thought, well, gosh,
(04:07):
if they're not being honest about that, maybe they're not
being honest about President Trump either. And it opened my
mind to just looking at things for what they were.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Wow, she's obviously a plant of the right wing conspiracy
to turn this into a dictatorship.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
That's what they're thinking. Anyway, I know, she seems pretty
great to me.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Did I miss what she said at the very beginning
that cured her of her trumpet derangement syndrome?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Well, she was reporting on Antifa, she was violently attacked
by Antifa.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
I heard all that, But at the very beginning she said,
I used to have it, and that's what cured me.
Was she talking about reporting from the street?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I believe so, yeah, exactly what was that getting out
in your report? Having the left say that Antifa wasn't
real when she herself had been violently assaulted by Antifa.
If you're out violently attacking a petit, white blonde lady
with a microphone while they're covering your protest, and that's
the weirdest thing. The news is there to cover your protests.
The whole reason you're doing this is because you want attention.
(05:09):
That has to be the only reasonbously, And so you're
getting attention, and you're mad at the people for giving
you attention. Is it possible you're just an insane person.
What do you hope to achieve? Did you think that
you and your friends were gonna put on basketball or
what is it bicycle helmets and get baseball hats and
wear like a plastic garbage can as a shield, and
(05:30):
you were going to conquer America for the communists.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Funny hats fun Yeah, yeah, like sombreros. Well, they can
be funny if they're in an out of place.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Who wrote that email again, the guy that was talking
about looking at MSNBC's smartphone app. I wonder if one
of the stories that they put before the story about
Trump negotiating the Israel Gaza piece deal, was a story
about how Trump keeps posting sombrero memes because they really
are mad about that. You never know.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
What's some innocuous little thing. It's just gonna set somebody off, And.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
That really did. Yeah. The FDA says, Hello fresh meals
may contain listeria contaminated spinach, so if you eat them,
your bathroom will become hello, not so fresh, so be
careful about that. In FYI, Nice Annie Disneyland guest has
died on the Haunted Mansion ride. Her cause of death
is listed as taking a theme park ride too.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Seriously, don't do that. Yeah, that's that's a problem. I
think so too.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Southern Baptist Church has disciplined and removed a Texas man
from membership for his anti immigration opinions. No, really, this
actually happened. There's a guy named Daniel Keene. He says,
since I'm no longer a member of the church and
my now former elders have made public statements on the issue,
I'd like to thank And then he posted a journalist's
name here for accurately covering the story. Sebastian Pastrito published
(06:53):
a story about how this guy was kicked out of
a church because he believed in enforcing immigration laws. And
you're probably thinking, how could it be that, Well, it's
a real thing. The man had his business boundaries coffee
targeted and harassed. He was kicked out of his CrossFit gym.
He was disciplined and removed from the conservative Southern Baptist
Church for saying, and wait for it, he wanted his
(07:13):
American kids to grow up in America and not India.
Uh huh can you blame it? Well, I mean it's
kind of how I feel too. I'm in America.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Then where are your kids currently growing up? I mean, ah,
they're in the trajectory to grow up in America. That's
how you plan it that way.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Anyway, Well, I'm keeping all my DNA in America, you know,
sometimes in a laundry hamper in my bathroom. It doesn't
matter where it is, but it doesn't matter. Yeah, But
the point is that's where they're gonna you know, that's
where the kids are gonna blossom up. When I can
men can have babies. Now, I don't know why you're
picking on me. Well, why didn't you yet? Then I
haven't found a woman to impregnate me. I'm trying. If
(07:52):
you just concentrate really hard, I think you can do
it yourself. You know what. I used to always think
it'd be funny to grow a penis out of my forehead,
so you know what a woman is sat there and
I focused on that and I never grew one. It
never worked.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
But you keep hitting yourself on the forehead over and
over like you do have a penis up there.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I'm trying. Well, you know, one of the definitions of
insanity is to give up early. So I'm just gonna
keep trying the same thing over and over. Yeah, dan
wan wan, you're listening to the Waltman Johnson Radio Network.
I love a good conspiracy theory, and we've got one.
All right, what's the conspiracy theory.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Okay, remember yesterday around the same time, somebody brought up
Bob Ross, the Happy Tree Painter guy, and Billy had
said that he'd been watching him recently and has a
new appreciation for his art and his skills.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah, but it's just the same show over and over again.
He never does anything different, but.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
The scenes are all different. They're slightly different, they said.
Bob Ross. In his time on you know the painting show,
he painted approximately four hundred I think the actual count
was four hundred and three different paintings, and about ninety
one percent of them had at least one tree in it.
(09:05):
So that's the guy why they was famous for his
happy trees. We're just gonna put a little happy tree
right up in here. We're just gonna edge him in,
and we're gonna give him a little company up in
here and here. So here is the conspiracy theory, okay,
sent to us by Wes from Marshall, Texas. He said,
you were talking about serial killers earlier, and what if
(09:25):
Bob Ross, Happy Tree Painter, was actually a serial killer
and all of his paintings were locations where his victims
have been buried.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Man, but just give it a minute to see ken.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yeah, look here, We've got these beautiful waterfalls in these
beautiful mountains, and I'm gonna put a tree right here.
And the reason for that is because I put a
dead guy right underneath that tree.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah, you know what this is bothering me?
Speaker 1 (09:55):
That is too accurate, too likely to be the cave
to just you know, just shrug it off like there's
just silly, do you guys?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
You guys think that could really happen. It could.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
But what's even worse is that somebody, and I think
it was you, accused him of being gay. Not that
there's anything wrong with the who Bob Ross or mister
Kenna Bob Ross, Well, he does seem a little of
he did, but he did twenty years of military service
in this Man's Air Force Master sergeant. I believe he
got to has a son, and I think three times
(10:31):
that he was married. None of that means he wasn't gay,
but it doesn't look like he necessarily was.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Either you can be gay and be in the military,
I know you can. You can be gay and marry
a woman, man, I just said.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
None of that means he wasn't, but it also doesn't
look like he really, you know, was and if he
was sure, wasn't trying to announce it to the world.
Was he what we appreciate by the way Freddie Mercury
had a fiance. I'm just saying, Uh, what's the most
you'd pay for a cheeseburger?
Speaker 2 (10:58):
You don't, don't.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I don't think maybe the serial killer thing is worth investigating.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
No, no, do not look into whether or not it's
a serial killer. I'm telling you it's a waste of time.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
That's what another serial killer might say to protect one
of his own.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I agree that a lot of the things I've said
about this would be what a serial killer would say,
But I'm not one, and neither see he's not. Neither
of us are serial killers. We're not going around killing
pedophiles and hiding their bodies. Stop saying that to people.
We know the full thut because he said so, yeah,
and I'm sick of hearing about it, so it's right,
so put it to bad mm hmm. Anyway, a restaurant
(11:33):
in Spain has an eleven thousand dollars cheeseburger, and I
think that's ridiculous. You know, here in America you can
get a friese and a drink for the same price.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Yeah, but they probably have Bidenomics over there in Spain.
That is probably that's what happened.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Now, Eleven thousand dollars for a cheeseburger seems pretty expensive.
You may not want to try it. You could try this.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
At ocidor Alpa in Barcelona, Spain. They're serving the world's
most expensive burger. The price eleven thousand dollars, made from
three best meats in the world, Europe's fanciest cheese, and
is sauce infused with luxury spirits. You can't even pronounce.
You can't just order it. You have to have an invitation,
(12:11):
and there's a waiting list for twenty twenty six.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
But hey, it's still just a burger. So if you're
hungry now, maybe skip the velvet rope and hit the
drive through. Ten Bucks fries included the world's.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Most expensive burger.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
No thanks, coming never threw a wallet near me. Shouldn't
they have been telling us the price in euros? Are
you trying to explain a comedy event? We saved for
the end of the show because we didn't think it
was very good. Well, I'd just like a little bit
more accuracy.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
The euro exchange to the dollar is only eighty six cents.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
All right, you want to talk about money. A fight
broke out at a family Dollar in North Carolina. Or
of course it did over a NASCAR shirt and it
ended with one person pointing a gun at the other person. Well,
of course it did. Here's a family member of someone
that was inside the Family Dollar talking about how shocked
today work.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
I'm afraid for those that are working that are still
employed there. And she asked her to give her the
shirt that she wanted the shirt. So the lady of
course told to know she wasn't going to give her
the shirt and came back with a gun, waving it
at everyone going in the store. When the lady's seen her,
she pointed the gun at her head, and the little
(13:22):
girl just laid there in like fetal positions.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
You see this one.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
This would have never happened at five below. That's why
I go to five below. Five below. Five blows five below.
You've never been to five below. It's class I guess
I think it's much classier than family dollar. Family is
that in the mall or something?
Speaker 2 (13:39):
It goes in this order five below dollar general, family dollar,
Family dollar is always on the bottom of that. That's
just not a good place to be.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
So there are five blows around here. Yeah, they're all
over the place. Five below. I guarantee Billy Ed's been
to a five below. He's messing with me. You've never
been to a five below.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
I don't know how else to say it other than no,
these things are all over the place. Well, Pralean's been
to one. I'll tell you. I don't keep with her. Look,
you know what I like about five below. It's your
Halloween decoration deal headquarters. You don't need to pay for
those fancy Halloween decorations at home depot. Five blow's got
you covered for five dollars or less on every item.
That's what I get a dollar every time you say
(14:17):
five below. Now they are giving me nothing. Actually, I
once got stabbed at a five below. It's actually very
dangerous too. I just want to wait to get stabbed
ut below. Yeah, right down below, just below right? Yeah,
how do you know? Oh, I guess I must have
told you this story before. Yeah, I heard about all
your stabbings. I end never seeing the actual stab skull
as the wounds who we had healed up though. You
(14:37):
you keep saying it's in a delicate area. You didn't
want to show it another man, Well, yeah, I wouldn't
want to show it to you. You wouldn't want to
see it either, Yeah, I looking at that, No, it
looks terrible.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
I once watched a woman walk through the Dollar General
over there in Grihams County.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
You ever go to the store and you pick up
a little something to nibble on while you shop?
Speaker 2 (14:57):
You know? I do that, and then I I'd been
told not to do it. But then that's the thing.
Ask for forgiveness, not permission. I'm not saying you're stealing nothing.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
I'm saying let's say you want to sack up a
half a dozen donuts. All right, So you you put
a half a dozen donuts in the sack there, and
you get the price for it.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
You put a little sticker on it.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Half a dozen donuts, and then you know, maybe you
eat one or.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Two while you're shopping.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Have you ever been in the produce style, get charged
for the half dozen when you show them the sack. Now,
if you eat all the donuts and then while the
sack up and throw it behind the big stack of
you know, toilet paper at that's that's stealing, and you
can do it with grapes, you know, and then then
that's that is stealing because they don't get to weigh
them and charge you for them.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
You ever see a woman in the Productyle walk up?
She'll eat one grape walk away and won't even get
any Oh sure, I know, I can't. That is that crazy.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
But I watched a woman she was she was gonna pay,
she went stealing. She's walking through the Dollar General and
she was eating ice cream while she shopped. Oh yeah, why,
I mean, what's the difference for that in your donuts store?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Was that the ice cream that all those kids liked
for their TikTok accounts? Probably? But no.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
The real setback to me on this was that she
did not have a spoon. She was doing like a bear.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
You know what? He just going at that that tub
ice cream? Man.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Mister, Oh, isn't that how you said you met your
last girlfriend? I said, I was looking for a spoon
and she had one. Oh yeah, I get wise scream involved.
I guess I was confused about how that story went.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Spoon. Hey, quick reminder, this Saturday night, we'll be doing
stand up comedy in Waco. You can get the tickets
at Jesse Peyton's website Jesse is Funny dot com. And
you know who else was funny? He really was a
funny guy, or Buddy John don't forget boys and girls too,
eat it every day. Hey again, you've reached the end
of the Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you. That
(16:50):
means you listened all the way to the end.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Does it mean we're going away now never to be
heard again? No, no, no, there will be a news
show tomorrow. Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or
we're off work. But as always, you could go to
waltonand Johnson dot com and you could find all kinds
of cool stuff there. Our news blog links to our
social media accounts. Believe it or not, our personal lives
are very boring. If you comment on our social media pages,
(17:12):
we might reply yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Chances are we're just sitting around waiting to hear from you. Yeah, so,
what's the big deal? Go to Walton Johnson dot com today.
I'm told there's a store. Oh yes, we do have
a lovely store and you could buy things there Walton
Johnson dot com. What's not to love
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