November 25, 2025 • 27 mins
Kenny Webster interviews comedian Jesse Peyton.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, if you enjoy that, you want to Johnson show
like we do, then you might also enjoy the Pursuit
of Happiness show in the afternoon with oh Kinney Webster there.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And as a matter of fact, I think, do we
do we have a clip? Can we play a clip?
The uh? The new Miss America is from Mexico. Ironically,
her crown features a lot of ice. Jesse Peyton I got.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I got a little whimper out of him. I got something.
Jesse is one of those guys. He's a professional comedian.
He's in studio right now. And if you're funny in
front of Jesse, because he hears so many jokes, so go, yeah,
that works. Normal people would be like hah. Jesse's like,
oh that works, that's good. That is how Jesse reacts
to comedy.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I would like to highlight the fact that when you
did that joke, I was less than quiet.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
You were, what wouldn't I got nothing from you? No? No,
I can I get a round two on that one?
You got another one? All right? Another zinger? All right?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Elon Musk's AI assistant Grock aged about his oral sex skills.
Now we know how he got Tesla's shareholders to give
him a trillion dollars. No, I'm he is this thing on?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Is this Jesse Payton in the building?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Probably the funniest guy I know, probably the funniest person
most people know.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
There's a reason other comedians hate you.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
You are not new on the scene, You've been around
for a while, but but you surpassed a lot of
other comics from your community. You're seeing your industry and
that has created haters for you and to anyone out
there that might not be a comedian, a welder, a
small business owner, a guy that you know that that
is a even if they don't do what you do
for a living.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I gotta think there's something very familiar about that sentiment.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
No, absolutely, And it's and it's less about the uh,
it's hatred or jealousy. It's more about a political stance.
I'm a right leaning comic and an entertainment across the board.
There's not a lot of space for conservativism or you know,
being libertarian, and I am and I have radical beliefs,
like there's two genders.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
What Yes?
Speaker 3 (02:07):
I learned that when I was six, Boys have a penis,
girls have vagina, Boys half a penis, vagina.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
This is also the same song played on the elevators
on Epstein Island.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
That's correct, exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
They're like old men in their penises little girls in
their vaginas.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Hi everybody. Oh, I forgot to.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Mention we're on the radio. We're also live streaming on
social media. Jesse and I spent the weekend hanging out
in golf. But well, we were in Bay Saint Louis.
We were at the Silver Slipper casino. Boy, I love
those crableggs. I could eat a lot of crab leggs, dude.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yeah, yeah, it was great. That whole trip was so
much fun. Man.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I always have a good time.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
We had a good weekend, And Jesse, you're the only
guy I know who goes to cause like, Silver Slipper
is a fun casino and I'm not a gambler.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I'll play blackjack.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
If I spend five hundred bucks at the black Tack table,
I think I'm entertained. It's fine. I lost the money.
I've never seen you lose money at a casino.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Yeah, that's because I don't post my losses, Kenny, But yeah,
no I do. I love to gamble, but I'm the
type of person. I'll take five thousand dollars trying to
win one thousand. I don't try to take one thousand
trying to win fifty thousand. So it's unreasonable, unrealistic. But
you are a professional poker player.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I was the night.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Can I tell the story about Operation Comedy Therapy this year?
This won't embarrass you. No Operation Comedy Therapy me. Jesse Peyton,
Chad prayther Eric Knowles. This was the biggest one yet.
We sold hundreds of tickets. We've been doing it for
over a decade. I could remember when we first started
doing those. It was twenty disabled military veterans and we
couldn't serve beer because they were all in a treatment program.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
And so it's changed a lot since then. It's gotten
bigger and bigger.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
And anyway, this year, hundreds of people there packed house
at the Bad Astronaut Brewing Company. The press is there,
the media is a journalist there, listeners and politicians running
for officers.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
All these people. Jesse Payton, the organizer of the event,
nowhere to be seen. Where's Jesse.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Jesse is off in the corner in the giant facility.
He's off in the corner with an iPad in front
of him, looking at his iPad like this, watching football
games on a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Jesse, what's going on over there?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
I can't talk. I just lost five thousand dollars the
next day. So we make a bunch of money for charity.
Jesse loses money the next day. I called Jesse to
thank him, obviously for organizing this event with us every year.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
He does an awesome job. Jesse, why is it so loud?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Where are you? He says, I'm driving to Lake Charles.
I got to make the money back from that game
that was football games yesterday?
Speaker 2 (04:30):
And how did that go? It went? Well?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
You made it, Pat, I made it back to say,
I made exactly the number I made.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
I went down there and I was like, as soon
as I hit this number, I'm leaving. And I hit
the number and left.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
All right.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
So so when you're in Lake Charles, don't they have
What do they have there?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
They have everything, but they have Drago's food.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I'm I'm a fat kid deep down inside.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
So I remember when you were a fat kid deep
down outside.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
It's true, He's right about that.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
So okay, So on that note, did you know we
have a new partisan polarizing issue.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Eating with a fork. Yes you've heard about this.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I didn't know you were racists, Yes, you and your utensils.
I actually embraced this.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
This is the silliest, dumbest thing ever since Zorhan Mom
Donnie ran for mayor. Now you have people on the
far left saying that forks are an example of colonialism
and white supremacy. And I think this is great because
if there's people that have never given a damn about
politics before, they don't care about the economy. Maybe you're
a rich kid. You don't care about immigration. You're not
losing your job to some immigrant. You don't care about
(05:33):
gun rights, you live in a gated community. You don't care.
You don't care. You don't care. Not a woman not
getting an abortion. We've suddenly got a thing. If you
don't want sticky fingers and you and you like, and
you don't want to eat with your hands. Now, Jesse Payton,
that is a polarizing issue. Watch this absurdly stupid video.
Hang on, I got to turn the music off.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Here. Let me pause that here, watch this condic all right,
so we're watching those of you listening on the radio
that don't get what we're looking at right now.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
It's an Indian girl. I'm gosh, could be Sri Lanka,
and I have no idea. And they're just eating rice
off a giant leaf. The leaf is the plate. It
doesn't look like there's anything else on the plate except
the rice. And what is that like one single nugget?
I don't know what it is?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Do you? What do you immediately know about this white
guy that's eating He is unhappy, This guy hates his girl.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
And this is like, these are the hoops I have
to jump through to see moderately attractive women naked, and
I hate my life?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Is it worth it? Would you not worth it? Would
you do this? Absolutely not? I would punch her, and
I would answer I.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Would figuratively speaking, punch her in her emotions with some logic.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Is what you were about to say? Absolutely obvious? What
kind of beta male? Soy? Boy? Is this? Yes? Of course, yes,
that's what he meant to say.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Boy. Look he does look ser ball though it doesn't
he She's thrilled, she loves it. She's just conquered him
using her nethery. Now look at him, look at the
look in his eye. Pose it right, hang on right here,
that's the spot, that's the spy.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
He says.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Look, look, you know I've been defeated by this woman.
She's better than me. There's nothing I can do about it.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
That's the face of Hey, if somebody would have picked
me in dodgeball when I was eight instead of leaving
me on the sidelines. And I have to go jump
to this horrible poor guy. I feel bad for this dude.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
What's the saddest thing you ever did to get some
some some snookies some uh, the saddest thing.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Well, I don't know. I don't, Kenny, I mean, I'm
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
You can't I know, you know you just won't say
an already. I really can't. Well, we didn't prep for
this one, but uh, among us, it's okay, we didn't.
I don't know, he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
He's immediately running through all the stories in his head,
sinking what will get me into trouble?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
And what will Yeah, my brain is buffering right now.
There's a large database. I've been you know, I've been
in a you know, I had a little ho phase
after my divorce. It's you know that was eight years ago.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yes, eight years ago is eight years ago? Is your
ho pse after your divorce.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I always feel like PCD postcoital depression. There's a lot
of things a man will do to meet or get
with a woman, and then the moment it's over and
he realizes what kind of person she is, there's that
moment of terror in his mind where he thinks, Wow,
why did I do this?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
And nowadays for a lot of like.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
You know, seemingly moderate flyover middle Americans, cisgendered, heteronormative Caucasian
men racists. Yeah, well that's a good segue to this,
Jesse Payton. It has never been cooler to be racist.
If eating with a fork is racist, right, obviously it is.
We all agree, that's a no brainer. How would you
define this?
Speaker 4 (08:47):
I love to overcharge white people and organizations and do
pro bono work for black works. And that's just me
being very blunt. I will give them ridiculous rates and
then I'll have like an nonprofit or black org or
somebody doing some work be like I've only got this
much money, and I'm like keep it. A white person,
just cut me a check listen, do this, regree.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
The funny part is she thinks that's the flex the
white dude gave you the money, right, he slept great,
he had extra money to give you, and you talk
about how you took advantage of him. Well, you know
what kind of pile he's sleeping on. He's Uncle scrooging
swimming through his gold coins.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Right now, you caught one shekel.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
You want to brag to the other rats how you
got over on Uncle Scrooge.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Also, if you're the white guy that hires this woman
and you see this video in this kind of telling you,
next time you hire someone you're being overcharged by someone
that openly hates you.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
I don't Yeah, look I don't. I don't care.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
You know me, we we hang out with all colored
people women, men, Yeah, I don't care. Yeah, you know
my friends are white, black, brown, whatever. But if I
saw one of them charge me for a service and
then turn around and be like this sucker, what a
dum mass over here. Look, this isn't about race to me,
I'm just not going to hire you anymore after that.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Of course not. That's yeah, that's hilarious.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Is it possible that part of the reason why this
woman feels like she's being oppressed by white people is
because she feels very comfortable openly denigrating white people, and
reasonable white people are now distancing themselves from her.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Or what if the shoe was on the other foot,
What if that was me going, hey, every time a
black dude comes up, I charge them triple because they're stupid,
and then I give it to a white I would
be crucified for saying something like that, and she's glorified
for it.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
It's it's wild.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
But you do hire a lot of comedians, right, yes,
and you pay the white conics more right.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Never, you know.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
I make it a point when I do comedy showcases
go back and look through the flyers. I try to
put a white, a black, and a woman on every show.
Not because I need to. There are my shows. I
can do whatever I want. I just think that it's
good for the show.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Well, and it's more, there's gonna be a lot of
people in the audio is that are mixed or diverse.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
So yes, I it's but I would never pay Yeah,
I would never pay the you know the person more
because it's.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
And if you don't and if you don't book a
black comic or a female comic, you're never going to
get to hook up with a Blackjack Jesse and.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
That's my goal. That's what I That's what I gotta do.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
The radio shows, I'm so hot you'll literally burn your eyes.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Fortunately, this is it one of those shows.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
I feel like never listening to you all again.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
P Suit of Happiness Radio. All right, we're back on
the radio now.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
We just took a short intermission, so people watching us
during a commercial break on live streaming we're able to
hear mature comedy we cannot do while we're back on
the radio.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Isn't that weird?
Speaker 3 (11:42):
How seconds we can go from dirty to clean? Dirty
to clean? How do we do that? How are we
so diverse?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
It's you know what, I'm a man of many hats.
Can he no cap?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
And if anybody no cap, no cap, no prophylactics, it's
not Yeah, I don't know what either of those are.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I don't know what JO stands for. Just or or
Wellian is what I assume.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
If you're just getting connecting, guys, Disney Plus will release
a remastered Beatles documentary over Thanksgiving weekend, unless Yoko gets
it first.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I guess what are we looking at? What's Donald doing? Donald?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Donald Trump is pardoning gobble and wattle. He's pardoning two turkeys. Now,
it's my understanding. There's a judge in Chicago that's already
overturning the pardon. This is yeah, I know, unbelievable. They can't,
not even the turkey can get it.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
And I thought that my mind went elsewhere when I
heard Gobble and Wattle, like they sound like they sound
like two of my ex's names in my phone.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
What is that? I gotta go, Kitty Wattle is calling
in my head.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
I was, you know, there's a very innocent part of
me that just does right wing morning talk radio. I
thought you thought it was funny that the president is
pardoning a turkey, But it's the word.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Gobble had Wattle.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yeah, those are two things that each of my exes
are known for.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Well, that's great, that's fantastic. I'm sure she's a sweet girl.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
How already when you put a girl in your phone,
it's like Brittany from Tomball or Brittany you know Steak
forty eight or you know some defining characteristic maybe where
you met her. I have Ashley Waddle and tarn Gobble.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Have you you met a girl at Steak forty eight?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Jesse?
Speaker 3 (13:16):
I have bad news for you if you meet a
woman at Steak forty eight.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
She's an escort. There's no there's no question.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Have you ever looked at the GEO tagged low This
is real inside Houston stuff. For those that don't know,
Steak forty eight is a very expensive steakhouse right near
this radio station. And there's two ways to look at
a restaurant on Instagram. You probably know this. You can
look at their account, or you can look at the
GEO tag located photos pictures that people that went to
the restaurant posted. If you look at the Steak forty
(13:43):
eight page, it's nothing but nice pictures of food, pecan
pie for Christmas and all that. If you look at
the GEO tagged photos, it's nothing but the trampiest women
you've ever seen with their butt cheeks hanging out and
they're going like this, and I'm here to night to
meet him.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Man.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
It's nothing but the gold diggingest women, professional women.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
And I'm told that that's a place to go meet him. Att. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
And then I've heard about all those trends, and there's
there's also a nutrient I just heard about this week
where there's older home owning men who allow younger women
to stay with them rent free in exchange for intercourse.
Oh wow, and that sounds fantastic. I want one because
I'm tired of paying rent. Jesse Jessey unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Tired of paying rent, Kenny, I was I port Hey,
I a question for you about that? So you mean
women at stake forty eight? Have you ever meet a
woman a woman at BUCkies before? I love BUCkies. They're
my taipa.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
What do you mean they're your type? I like the
I love Beaver's Kenny, I love Beaver. No, Beavers are great.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
No, you can definitely say that a white liberal woman
from up North came down to Texas and went to
a BUCkies. What am I about to show you isn't
just a video. It's representative of a genre of videos.
White liberals from up North will come down to Texas.
They'll go to BUCkies and you're like, I don't get
what the big deal is. It's a clean bathroom with
a lot of different snacks and gas and fuel that
(15:11):
you know won't be at least the very least they
want overcharge you. Do you want chili flavored dehydrated mango slices?
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Do you want?
Speaker 3 (15:19):
You know, Beaver nuckets, brisket sandwich. There's a lot of
food there. You're on a road trip. It's clean. There's
no lot lizards, Jesse, real quick, what's a lot lizard?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
A lot lizard is of a sweet, sweet angel from
heaven that God sent here for to bless all the
hard working truck drivers and gave her no.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Teeth for some root.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Okay, I think most people know it a lot lizard anyway,
Like I said, this is a genre of video. I
see these from time to time. It's always some woman
named Becky or Karen Kay. Well, yeah exactly, she's that
guy a Karen for sure.
Speaker 5 (15:53):
I met BUCkies right now, and I just am looking
for an explanation of what the like this is? Hell,
Someone's like, you gotta go to BUCkies?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
You got?
Speaker 5 (16:05):
I mean, this is like a cracker barrel and a
gas station vomited all.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Over each other.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
You're right, chokes for a living, A cracker barrel and
a gas station vomited all over each other.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
I hate that she's using it with negative connotation because
if I could get a gas st if I could
get gas and a smothered chicken fried steak, sign me
the hell up?
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Can you but shit, dude, I get that there's things
that make the South or the North pros and constant both.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
But BUCkies, BUCkies is what you have beef with here.
Here's the problem.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
She's comparing it to like a galleria shopping mall, and
it should be compared to like a chevron, right, that's it.
And if you compare it to a chevron, where hey,
while my car, because what's going on right now is
your car is getting gas and you're in this huge
shopping mall getting to do other things and it's moving
(16:54):
so efficiently like a Chick fil a drive through, and
your car is still getting gas.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
So you raise a good there.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
People look at BUCkies and go it's too crowded, but
kind of like Chick fil A.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
The line looks long but right.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
But when you meet it in person, it's catfish to
you because it's gonna be small hatfished.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Sorry, that's something else.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
It looks bigger in photos when I zoom in and
use photoshop and chat GPT.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Are we talking about the same thing. We're not kidding.
We're talking about my beaver, okay.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
And then maybe the ugliest clothes you've ever seen. I'm
actually horrified because I think.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
This is what wait wait, wait, wait wait, she's mad
that you could buy an ugly shirt. Do you not
understand that part of the genius at BUCkies is that
you're on a road trip and maybe you forgot to
get a silly gift for your uncle. He doesn't need anything.
He lives in a ranch in Fredericksburg. He's got three
pickup trucks in a boat. I know, let's get him
a silly shirt with a beaver on it. What you're
(17:48):
mad about that? You're a bitch.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I hate How are you gonna blaspheme something that's like
inherent in our culture?
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Like it's mind me.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
I think not liking BUCkies is a litmus test to
determine if you should get the f out of Texas.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
I don't get paid to promote BUCkies. I'm not a
Bucky spokesperson. The owner of Bucky's son I think had
a child porn scandal. If I'm not mistaken, right, I'm
not here to promote or sell it. I just don't
get why you're mad.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
He's unhappy because this is Texas and in her restroom
there were no men.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah, is that what they're mad about Yeah, I was
right about this.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
This is not the guy's fault.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
But technically Bucky's co founders son wanted on child porn
charge a mid sex videos inquiry.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Yeah, he was caught googling Gobble and waddle. But what
is what's going on right here in his mugshot? Do
you want to describe it? Or should? I looks like
a Valtrex commercial. Oh no, Jesse Peyton, don't now. I
feel bad. We've miss smirched BUCkies. It's not Bucky's fault.
That's someone that's vaguely gonna buy your merch one hundred percent.
(18:51):
I'm gonna buy you know what no one's buying is
Exxon and Chevron merch.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Yeah, you're right out of here. Yeah, nobody gives a
damn about that. You could buy a surf BUCkies. Yes
you can take us. No, you can't take a shower,
but you can. They don't have a shower because they
don't have It's not a truck stop, right, and I
don't mind a truck stop either.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Sometimes you need methan a hooker. What are you gonna do? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I want to show you something. This is brilliant. This
guy knows how to play the game. There's a gentleman
on anybody who's ever been married before, I've been married.
You have two and Jesse and I were both married
to people that are better than us. We failed. You know,
what are you gonna do? Here is a guy who
is truly outkicked his coverage. We're watching a video. To
those listening on the radio that want to know what
we're looking at right now, we're looking at a guy
(19:31):
who's like a Pittsburgh four and a half and his
wife is probably a Milwaukee eight or whatever.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
It's pretty.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
She is pretty. Watch the interaction here. She's playing checkers
with her husband. He's playing four dimensional chess. This is
This takedown by him is great.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
What are you doing?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I would just want to talk to you about a
couple of things because I was thinking if I was
never born, yeah, he would be with someone else. Then
were born, I would be with some chan chan.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
My life started when I met you, so if you
were never born, my life wouldn't have started, so I
would I couldn't be with anybody else because you're the
only person.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
That I think.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
That doesn't even make sense, Like, how could I be
with anybody else? If you didn't exist, Like, what sense
does that make? I couldn't because you're my whole world.
It's just without you, I don't have a world.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yes, I want, Yeah, I want to give this guy
a guest spot on Couples Therapy.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Dude, that isn't that is an epic response to this.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Our Couple's Therapy show is a spoof of relationships because
you and I have failed in good ones. And similarly,
I was put in a spot like this. This wasn't
even rehearse, Kenny. But my wife asked me one time.
She was like, Hey, if you could sleep with any
one of my friends, who would it be? And I
replied in order which I don't know the correct answer,
(20:54):
but that was the wrong one.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
I would imagine another bad answer would be, oh, I've
already slept with her, wouldn't I Look, yeah, what would
I even?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
You know?
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yeah, no matter what, like a second time or I
don't know anyway, But did.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Kristen talk to you? Let me text Kristen, we get
to pack. Let me text you're supposed to go to
the grave, Kristen. Let me text Skyler right now? Uh,
you got to admit this guy is pressure good?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah? Man, Yeah, if you weren't, if you didn't exist.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Because similarly, I saw a similar couple where they did
one where the woman goes, she walks into the bedroom,
catches her husband off guard, and goes, Uh, this thing says,
would you punch me?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Would you slap me? For a billion dollars?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
He goes, I would hit you with a shovel for
he goes, I would back over you with the car
for a be He goes, I would slap you for
forty dollars.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Now, obviously we're against that.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Just so we're clear, we're just telling you what the
guy says, this was internet and how it was kind
of funny exactly.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
All right.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Last week you were here and we talked about female
journalist Olivia Nuzzy. Olivia Nuzzy is this young woman who's
worked at some of the biggest news outlets. I think,
without having her LinkedIn profile in front of me, I
think she worked at the Washington Post, the New York Times,
places like that, big news outlets, and started her career
off in a sexual relation. As a seventeen year old
(22:08):
girl when she was still going to college, hooked up
with Keith Olberman.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Do you know who that is? Yeah, I hooked up
with keith Opie. Oh is that right time she got
into comedy? You and Keithy could go, oh no, that's chrism,
all right.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
She she more recently got very famous for traveling around
the country with RFK Junior when he was running for president,
and she would send him spicy nudes. And at some
point apparently I don't know if this upset Cheryl Hines,
his wife, the Curb Your Enthusiasm actress. But Olivia Nuzzy
is now she's got a book out, and here's what's
so amazing about this.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
She now works at Vanity Fair.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Vanity Fair is also Condye Nast, the book publisher who
I'm assuming is publishing her book.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
I'm not going to read it.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
The New York Post story reads Vanity Fair to publish
abstract nude portrait of Olivia Nuzzy as scandal plague journalist
accused of shirking job duties effort to make a point
about how women in the media are sometimes oppressed. Olivia
and as he wrote a book about how she slept
with these older, white powerful men, really to get the story,
(23:09):
I guess, and then to promote the book. She's now
gonna send gonna post nude photos of herself online and
girl power.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
That you are a strong independent woman when you're naked,
using your vagina to get what you want. Way to
stand on feminism, Rosie o'donald, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Man, we're gonna get the story. I'm a hard work
at female journalist. I'm gonna use my snatch.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Rosie O'Donnell incidentally used to send nude photos that people
thought were abstract.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
I don't miss Rosie. She moved to Ireland.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Look, part of what bothers me about this is like,
obviously it's tacky and it probably has sets other female journalists.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
As a guy that tries to use all the resources.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Available to him to get as far as I can
in life, there's a part of me that doesn't blame her,
you know, don't hate the player, hate the game, that
kind of logic. But then, on the other hand, in
no man is mad about this, No conservative man is
mad about this. The only people mad about this are
ugly liberal women, whereas they're normally called liberal women.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
A little while.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Back, I don't remember what year. I think it was
twenty twelve. I don't remember when it was. The Republican
National Convention held there was held in Cleveland that year,
or wherever it was, I don't remember. I think it
was Cleveland or somewhere in the Midwest that you wouldn't
want to go unless you had to Milwaukee or whatever,
and to protest the Republican Party. Hundreds of topless feminist
protesters showed up to protest against the sexism of the
(24:37):
Republican Party. Now as a man if a bunch of
topless women showed up to protest a Jesse Payton comedy show.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Well, if they're liberal, I wouldn't be disinterested because you
wouldn't even be able to see their boobs unless they
were bottomless, because I don't know if you know where
liberal boobs lie, but it's somewhere between the knee and
the waiste.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Yes, yes, yes, thank you for that. Yeah, that's what
it was. Twenty twelve. No, well they did it more
than once. Looks like they did in two thousand and four. Sorry,
do you google it over there, Kenny, I'm tilsh I'll
show you right now. I was trying to find the
Republican Convention topless protesters. I guess they did it in
two thousand and four. They've did it a lot and
Google image search is always fun because you can look
(25:18):
at this stuff.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
I never really understood this. Women dressing up at silly costumes.
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Twenty twelve Republican Convention. Women dressed like vaginas to protest
Mitt Romney. They had a thing that Code Pink organized
called what was it? Bring your vagina to the Castro
Theater in San Francisco. Take that Mitt Romney. That'll teach you,
That'll teach you, or we're gonna look silly and stupid.
Does looking silly and stupid for a protest? Does that
(25:43):
ever work? That looks like an Arby's commercial? Thank you, Jesse, Sorry,
Jesse Payne. You got some shows coming up. We got
people on the radio listening.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
What would you if you're in the Houston area, if
you're not, if you're outside of Texas, you won't get
to see me till twenty twenty six. I'm taking off
the rest of the year, staying local, but December I'm
gonna be at Southern Star Brewery doing a show called
Kill Jesse with Kenney Webster.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Both of these shows actually have Kenny. And then December.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Twentieth, Docy Dough in the Woodlands and we are doing
the DFW area. Do we have listeners in the DFW arey, Kenny,
we do? We were there, we were there.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
In Fort Worth.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Yeah, we're going to be back at Arlington Music Hall
on December thirteenth, twelve thirteen.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Doing couples Therapy. It's gonna be a fun show. But yeah,
that does sound like a fun show. And if people
want to buy tickets for all this stuff, I guess.
Jesse is Funny dot com Jesse is fine. I go
to that website Jesse is Funny dot com. I'm Kenny Webster.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I love you all.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
I want to thank my good buddy, Jesse Peyton. Follow
Jesse is Funny on Instagram, on Twitter, on Facebook.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Are you on the TALC tech still or you got? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:44):
I do TikTok, I do Instagram mainly on Facebook. Most
of most of my stuff is on Facebook. Jesse Payton calmedy.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Weirdly the places where conservatives seem to get censored the
most and dirty comedians seem to get censored the most.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
You thrive on those platforms. How do you get away
with it? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
I've got a good I know how to use an
amper sand instead of an A and a word to
make that when I say liberal cook, I have to
change words up.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Is there any truth to the rumor that you and
Mark Zuckerberg have a physical relationship and that's why he's
not banning your profile.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
That's absolutely I do hand yubs.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
You are listening to the Pursuit of Happiness Radio, Tell
the government
Speaker 2 (27:34):
To kiss your ass when you listen to this show.
Hey, if you enjoy that, you want to Johnson show
like we do, then you might also enjoy the Pursuit
of Happiness show in the afternoon with oh Kinney Webster there.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And as a matter of fact, I think, do we
do we have a clip? Can we play a clip?
The uh? The new Miss America is from Mexico. Ironically,
her crown features a lot of ice. Jesse Peyton I got.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I got a little whimper out of him. I got something.
Jesse is one of those guys. He's a professional comedian.
He's in studio right now. And if you're funny in
front of Jesse, because he hears so many jokes, so go, yeah,
that works. Normal people would be like hah. Jesse's like,
oh that works, that's good. That is how Jesse reacts
to comedy.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I would like to highlight the fact that when you
did that joke, I was less than quiet.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
You were, what wouldn't I got nothing from you? No? No,
I can I get a round two on that one?
You got another one? All right? Another zinger? All right?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Elon Musk's AI assistant Grock aged about his oral sex skills.
Now we know how he got Tesla's shareholders to give
him a trillion dollars. No, I'm he is this thing on?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Is this Jesse Payton in the building?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Probably the funniest guy I know, probably the funniest person
most people know.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
There's a reason other comedians hate you.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
You are not new on the scene, You've been around
for a while, but but you surpassed a lot of
other comics from your community. You're seeing your industry and
that has created haters for you and to anyone out
there that might not be a comedian, a welder, a
small business owner, a guy that you know that that
is a even if they don't do what you do
for a living.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I gotta think there's something very familiar about that sentiment.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
No, absolutely, And it's and it's less about the uh,
it's hatred or jealousy. It's more about a political stance.
I'm a right leaning comic and an entertainment across the board.
There's not a lot of space for conservativism or you know,
being libertarian, and I am and I have radical beliefs,
like there's two genders.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
What Yes?
Speaker 3 (02:07):
I learned that when I was six, Boys have a penis,
girls have vagina, Boys half a penis, vagina.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
This is also the same song played on the elevators
on Epstein Island.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
That's correct, exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
They're like old men in their penises little girls in
their vaginas.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Hi everybody. Oh, I forgot to.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Mention we're on the radio. We're also live streaming on
social media. Jesse and I spent the weekend hanging out
in golf. But well, we were in Bay Saint Louis.
We were at the Silver Slipper casino. Boy, I love
those crableggs. I could eat a lot of crab leggs, dude.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yeah, yeah, it was great. That whole trip was so
much fun. Man.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I always have a good time.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
We had a good weekend, And Jesse, you're the only
guy I know who goes to cause like, Silver Slipper
is a fun casino and I'm not a gambler.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
I'll play blackjack.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
If I spend five hundred bucks at the black Tack table,
I think I'm entertained. It's fine. I lost the money.
I've never seen you lose money at a casino.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Yeah, that's because I don't post my losses, Kenny, But yeah,
no I do. I love to gamble, but I'm the
type of person. I'll take five thousand dollars trying to
win one thousand. I don't try to take one thousand
trying to win fifty thousand. So it's unreasonable, unrealistic. But
you are a professional poker player.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I was the night.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Can I tell the story about Operation Comedy Therapy this year?
This won't embarrass you. No Operation Comedy Therapy me. Jesse Peyton,
Chad prayther Eric Knowles. This was the biggest one yet.
We sold hundreds of tickets. We've been doing it for
over a decade. I could remember when we first started
doing those. It was twenty disabled military veterans and we
couldn't serve beer because they were all in a treatment program.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
And so it's changed a lot since then. It's gotten
bigger and bigger.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
And anyway, this year, hundreds of people there packed house
at the Bad Astronaut Brewing Company. The press is there,
the media is a journalist there, listeners and politicians running
for officers.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
All these people. Jesse Payton, the organizer of the event,
nowhere to be seen. Where's Jesse.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Jesse is off in the corner in the giant facility.
He's off in the corner with an iPad in front
of him, looking at his iPad like this, watching football
games on a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Jesse, what's going on over there?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
I can't talk. I just lost five thousand dollars the
next day. So we make a bunch of money for charity.
Jesse loses money the next day. I called Jesse to
thank him, obviously for organizing this event with us every year.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
He does an awesome job. Jesse, why is it so loud?
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Where are you? He says, I'm driving to Lake Charles.
I got to make the money back from that game
that was football games yesterday?
Speaker 2 (04:30):
And how did that go? It went? Well?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
You made it, Pat, I made it back to say,
I made exactly the number I made.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
I went down there and I was like, as soon
as I hit this number, I'm leaving. And I hit
the number and left.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
All right.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
So so when you're in Lake Charles, don't they have
What do they have there?
Speaker 2 (04:44):
They have everything, but they have Drago's food.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I'm I'm a fat kid deep down inside.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
So I remember when you were a fat kid deep
down outside.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
It's true, He's right about that.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
So okay, So on that note, did you know we
have a new partisan polarizing issue.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Eating with a fork. Yes you've heard about this.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I didn't know you were racists, Yes, you and your utensils.
I actually embraced this.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
This is the silliest, dumbest thing ever since Zorhan Mom
Donnie ran for mayor. Now you have people on the
far left saying that forks are an example of colonialism
and white supremacy. And I think this is great because
if there's people that have never given a damn about
politics before, they don't care about the economy. Maybe you're
a rich kid. You don't care about immigration. You're not
losing your job to some immigrant. You don't care about
(05:33):
gun rights, you live in a gated community. You don't care.
You don't care. You don't care. Not a woman not
getting an abortion. We've suddenly got a thing. If you
don't want sticky fingers and you and you like, and
you don't want to eat with your hands. Now, Jesse Payton,
that is a polarizing issue. Watch this absurdly stupid video.
Hang on, I got to turn the music off.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Here. Let me pause that here, watch this condic all right,
so we're watching those of you listening on the radio
that don't get what we're looking at right now.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
It's an Indian girl. I'm gosh, could be Sri Lanka,
and I have no idea. And they're just eating rice
off a giant leaf. The leaf is the plate. It
doesn't look like there's anything else on the plate except
the rice. And what is that like one single nugget?
I don't know what it is?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Do you? What do you immediately know about this white
guy that's eating He is unhappy, This guy hates his girl.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
And this is like, these are the hoops I have
to jump through to see moderately attractive women naked, and
I hate my life?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Is it worth it? Would you not worth it? Would
you do this? Absolutely not? I would punch her, and
I would answer I.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Would figuratively speaking, punch her in her emotions with some logic.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Is what you were about to say? Absolutely obvious? What
kind of beta male? Soy? Boy? Is this? Yes? Of course, yes,
that's what he meant to say.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Boy. Look he does look ser ball though it doesn't
he She's thrilled, she loves it. She's just conquered him
using her nethery. Now look at him, look at the
look in his eye. Pose it right, hang on right here,
that's the spot, that's the spy.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
He says.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Look, look, you know I've been defeated by this woman.
She's better than me. There's nothing I can do about it.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
That's the face of Hey, if somebody would have picked
me in dodgeball when I was eight instead of leaving
me on the sidelines. And I have to go jump
to this horrible poor guy. I feel bad for this dude.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
What's the saddest thing you ever did to get some
some some snookies some uh, the saddest thing.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Well, I don't know. I don't, Kenny, I mean, I'm
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
You can't I know, you know you just won't say
an already. I really can't. Well, we didn't prep for
this one, but uh, among us, it's okay, we didn't.
I don't know, he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
He's immediately running through all the stories in his head,
sinking what will get me into trouble?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
And what will Yeah, my brain is buffering right now.
There's a large database. I've been you know, I've been
in a you know, I had a little ho phase
after my divorce. It's you know that was eight years ago.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yes, eight years ago is eight years ago? Is your
ho pse after your divorce.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I always feel like PCD postcoital depression. There's a lot
of things a man will do to meet or get
with a woman, and then the moment it's over and
he realizes what kind of person she is, there's that
moment of terror in his mind where he thinks, Wow,
why did I do this?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
And nowadays for a lot of like.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
You know, seemingly moderate flyover middle Americans, cisgendered, heteronormative Caucasian
men racists. Yeah, well that's a good segue to this,
Jesse Payton. It has never been cooler to be racist.
If eating with a fork is racist, right, obviously it is.
We all agree, that's a no brainer. How would you
define this?
Speaker 4 (08:47):
I love to overcharge white people and organizations and do
pro bono work for black works. And that's just me
being very blunt. I will give them ridiculous rates and
then I'll have like an nonprofit or black org or
somebody doing some work be like I've only got this
much money, and I'm like keep it. A white person,
just cut me a check listen, do this, regree.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
The funny part is she thinks that's the flex the
white dude gave you the money, right, he slept great,
he had extra money to give you, and you talk
about how you took advantage of him. Well, you know
what kind of pile he's sleeping on. He's Uncle scrooging
swimming through his gold coins.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Right now, you caught one shekel.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
You want to brag to the other rats how you
got over on Uncle Scrooge.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Also, if you're the white guy that hires this woman
and you see this video in this kind of telling you,
next time you hire someone you're being overcharged by someone
that openly hates you.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
I don't Yeah, look I don't. I don't care.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
You know me, we we hang out with all colored
people women, men, Yeah, I don't care. Yeah, you know
my friends are white, black, brown, whatever. But if I
saw one of them charge me for a service and
then turn around and be like this sucker, what a
dum mass over here. Look, this isn't about race to me,
I'm just not going to hire you anymore after that.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Of course not. That's yeah, that's hilarious.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Is it possible that part of the reason why this
woman feels like she's being oppressed by white people is
because she feels very comfortable openly denigrating white people, and
reasonable white people are now distancing themselves from her.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Or what if the shoe was on the other foot,
What if that was me going, hey, every time a
black dude comes up, I charge them triple because they're stupid,
and then I give it to a white I would
be crucified for saying something like that, and she's glorified
for it.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
It's it's wild.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
But you do hire a lot of comedians, right, yes,
and you pay the white conics more right.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Never, you know.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
I make it a point when I do comedy showcases
go back and look through the flyers. I try to
put a white, a black, and a woman on every show.
Not because I need to. There are my shows. I
can do whatever I want. I just think that it's
good for the show.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Well, and it's more, there's gonna be a lot of
people in the audio is that are mixed or diverse.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
So yes, I it's but I would never pay Yeah,
I would never pay the you know the person more
because it's.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
And if you don't and if you don't book a
black comic or a female comic, you're never going to
get to hook up with a Blackjack Jesse and.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
That's my goal. That's what I That's what I gotta do.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
The radio shows, I'm so hot you'll literally burn your eyes.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Fortunately, this is it one of those shows.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
I feel like never listening to you all again.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
P Suit of Happiness Radio. All right, we're back on
the radio now.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
We just took a short intermission, so people watching us
during a commercial break on live streaming we're able to
hear mature comedy we cannot do while we're back on
the radio.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Isn't that weird?
Speaker 3 (11:42):
How seconds we can go from dirty to clean? Dirty
to clean? How do we do that? How are we
so diverse?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
It's you know what, I'm a man of many hats.
Can he no cap?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
And if anybody no cap, no cap, no prophylactics, it's
not Yeah, I don't know what either of those are.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I don't know what JO stands for. Just or or
Wellian is what I assume.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
If you're just getting connecting, guys, Disney Plus will release
a remastered Beatles documentary over Thanksgiving weekend, unless Yoko gets
it first.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I guess what are we looking at? What's Donald doing? Donald?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Donald Trump is pardoning gobble and wattle. He's pardoning two turkeys. Now,
it's my understanding. There's a judge in Chicago that's already
overturning the pardon. This is yeah, I know, unbelievable. They can't,
not even the turkey can get it.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
And I thought that my mind went elsewhere when I
heard Gobble and Wattle, like they sound like they sound
like two of my ex's names in my phone.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
What is that? I gotta go, Kitty Wattle is calling
in my head.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
I was, you know, there's a very innocent part of
me that just does right wing morning talk radio. I
thought you thought it was funny that the president is
pardoning a turkey, But it's the word.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Gobble had Wattle.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yeah, those are two things that each of my exes
are known for.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Well, that's great, that's fantastic. I'm sure she's a sweet girl.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
How already when you put a girl in your phone,
it's like Brittany from Tomball or Brittany you know Steak
forty eight or you know some defining characteristic maybe where
you met her. I have Ashley Waddle and tarn Gobble.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Have you you met a girl at Steak forty eight?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Jesse?
Speaker 3 (13:16):
I have bad news for you if you meet a
woman at Steak forty eight.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
She's an escort. There's no there's no question.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Have you ever looked at the GEO tagged low This
is real inside Houston stuff. For those that don't know,
Steak forty eight is a very expensive steakhouse right near
this radio station. And there's two ways to look at
a restaurant on Instagram. You probably know this. You can
look at their account, or you can look at the
GEO tag located photos pictures that people that went to
the restaurant posted. If you look at the Steak forty
(13:43):
eight page, it's nothing but nice pictures of food, pecan
pie for Christmas and all that. If you look at
the GEO tagged photos, it's nothing but the trampiest women
you've ever seen with their butt cheeks hanging out and
they're going like this, and I'm here to night to
meet him.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Man.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
It's nothing but the gold diggingest women, professional women.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
And I'm told that that's a place to go meet him. Att. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
And then I've heard about all those trends, and there's
there's also a nutrient I just heard about this week
where there's older home owning men who allow younger women
to stay with them rent free in exchange for intercourse.
Oh wow, and that sounds fantastic. I want one because
I'm tired of paying rent. Jesse Jessey unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Tired of paying rent, Kenny, I was I port Hey,
I a question for you about that? So you mean
women at stake forty eight? Have you ever meet a
woman a woman at BUCkies before? I love BUCkies. They're
my taipa.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
What do you mean they're your type? I like the
I love Beaver's Kenny, I love Beaver. No, Beavers are great.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
No, you can definitely say that a white liberal woman
from up North came down to Texas and went to
a BUCkies. What am I about to show you isn't
just a video. It's representative of a genre of videos.
White liberals from up North will come down to Texas.
They'll go to BUCkies and you're like, I don't get
what the big deal is. It's a clean bathroom with
a lot of different snacks and gas and fuel that
(15:11):
you know won't be at least the very least they
want overcharge you. Do you want chili flavored dehydrated mango slices?
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Do you want?
Speaker 3 (15:19):
You know, Beaver nuckets, brisket sandwich. There's a lot of
food there. You're on a road trip. It's clean. There's
no lot lizards, Jesse, real quick, what's a lot lizard?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
A lot lizard is of a sweet, sweet angel from
heaven that God sent here for to bless all the
hard working truck drivers and gave her no.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Teeth for some root.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Okay, I think most people know it a lot lizard anyway,
Like I said, this is a genre of video. I
see these from time to time. It's always some woman
named Becky or Karen Kay. Well, yeah exactly, she's that
guy a Karen for sure.
Speaker 5 (15:53):
I met BUCkies right now, and I just am looking
for an explanation of what the like this is? Hell,
Someone's like, you gotta go to BUCkies?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
You got?
Speaker 5 (16:05):
I mean, this is like a cracker barrel and a
gas station vomited all.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Over each other.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
You're right, chokes for a living, A cracker barrel and
a gas station vomited all over each other.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
I hate that she's using it with negative connotation because
if I could get a gas st if I could
get gas and a smothered chicken fried steak, sign me
the hell up?
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Can you but shit, dude, I get that there's things
that make the South or the North pros and constant both.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
But BUCkies, BUCkies is what you have beef with here.
Here's the problem.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
She's comparing it to like a galleria shopping mall, and
it should be compared to like a chevron, right, that's it.
And if you compare it to a chevron, where hey,
while my car, because what's going on right now is
your car is getting gas and you're in this huge
shopping mall getting to do other things and it's moving
(16:54):
so efficiently like a Chick fil a drive through, and
your car is still getting gas.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
So you raise a good there.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
People look at BUCkies and go it's too crowded, but
kind of like Chick fil A.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
The line looks long but right.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
But when you meet it in person, it's catfish to
you because it's gonna be small hatfished.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Sorry, that's something else.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
It looks bigger in photos when I zoom in and
use photoshop and chat GPT.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Are we talking about the same thing. We're not kidding.
We're talking about my beaver, okay.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
And then maybe the ugliest clothes you've ever seen. I'm
actually horrified because I think.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
This is what wait wait, wait, wait wait, she's mad
that you could buy an ugly shirt. Do you not
understand that part of the genius at BUCkies is that
you're on a road trip and maybe you forgot to
get a silly gift for your uncle. He doesn't need anything.
He lives in a ranch in Fredericksburg. He's got three
pickup trucks in a boat. I know, let's get him
a silly shirt with a beaver on it. What you're
(17:48):
mad about that? You're a bitch.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I hate How are you gonna blaspheme something that's like
inherent in our culture?
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Like it's mind me.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
I think not liking BUCkies is a litmus test to
determine if you should get the f out of Texas.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
I don't get paid to promote BUCkies. I'm not a
Bucky spokesperson. The owner of Bucky's son I think had
a child porn scandal. If I'm not mistaken, right, I'm
not here to promote or sell it. I just don't
get why you're mad.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
He's unhappy because this is Texas and in her restroom
there were no men.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yeah, is that what they're mad about Yeah, I was
right about this.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
This is not the guy's fault.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
But technically Bucky's co founders son wanted on child porn
charge a mid sex videos inquiry.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Yeah, he was caught googling Gobble and waddle. But what
is what's going on right here in his mugshot? Do
you want to describe it? Or should? I looks like
a Valtrex commercial. Oh no, Jesse Peyton, don't now. I
feel bad. We've miss smirched BUCkies. It's not Bucky's fault.
That's someone that's vaguely gonna buy your merch one hundred percent.
(18:51):
I'm gonna buy you know what no one's buying is
Exxon and Chevron merch.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Yeah, you're right out of here. Yeah, nobody gives a
damn about that. You could buy a surf BUCkies. Yes
you can take us. No, you can't take a shower,
but you can. They don't have a shower because they
don't have It's not a truck stop, right, and I
don't mind a truck stop either.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Sometimes you need methan a hooker. What are you gonna do? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I want to show you something. This is brilliant. This
guy knows how to play the game. There's a gentleman
on anybody who's ever been married before, I've been married.
You have two and Jesse and I were both married
to people that are better than us. We failed. You know,
what are you gonna do? Here is a guy who
is truly outkicked his coverage. We're watching a video. To
those listening on the radio that want to know what
we're looking at right now, we're looking at a guy
(19:31):
who's like a Pittsburgh four and a half and his
wife is probably a Milwaukee eight or whatever.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
It's pretty.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
She is pretty. Watch the interaction here. She's playing checkers
with her husband. He's playing four dimensional chess. This is
This takedown by him is great.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
What are you doing?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I would just want to talk to you about a
couple of things because I was thinking if I was
never born, yeah, he would be with someone else. Then
were born, I would be with some chan chan.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
My life started when I met you, so if you
were never born, my life wouldn't have started, so I
would I couldn't be with anybody else because you're the
only person.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
That I think.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
That doesn't even make sense, Like, how could I be
with anybody else? If you didn't exist, Like, what sense
does that make? I couldn't because you're my whole world.
It's just without you, I don't have a world.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yes, I want, Yeah, I want to give this guy
a guest spot on Couples Therapy.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Dude, that isn't that is an epic response to this.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Our Couple's Therapy show is a spoof of relationships because
you and I have failed in good ones. And similarly,
I was put in a spot like this. This wasn't
even rehearse, Kenny. But my wife asked me one time.
She was like, Hey, if you could sleep with any
one of my friends, who would it be? And I
replied in order which I don't know the correct answer,
(20:54):
but that was the wrong one.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
I would imagine another bad answer would be, oh, I've
already slept with her, wouldn't I Look, yeah, what would
I even?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
You know?
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yeah, no matter what, like a second time or I
don't know anyway, But did.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Kristen talk to you? Let me text Kristen, we get
to pack. Let me text you're supposed to go to
the grave, Kristen. Let me text Skyler right now? Uh,
you got to admit this guy is pressure good?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah? Man, Yeah, if you weren't, if you didn't exist.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Because similarly, I saw a similar couple where they did
one where the woman goes, she walks into the bedroom,
catches her husband off guard, and goes, Uh, this thing says,
would you punch me?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Would you slap me? For a billion dollars?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
He goes, I would hit you with a shovel for
he goes, I would back over you with the car
for a be He goes, I would slap you for
forty dollars.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Now, obviously we're against that.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
Just so we're clear, we're just telling you what the
guy says, this was internet and how it was kind
of funny exactly.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
All right.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Last week you were here and we talked about female
journalist Olivia Nuzzy. Olivia Nuzzy is this young woman who's
worked at some of the biggest news outlets. I think,
without having her LinkedIn profile in front of me, I
think she worked at the Washington Post, the New York Times,
places like that, big news outlets, and started her career
off in a sexual relation. As a seventeen year old
(22:08):
girl when she was still going to college, hooked up
with Keith Olberman.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Do you know who that is? Yeah, I hooked up
with keith Opie. Oh is that right time she got
into comedy? You and Keithy could go, oh no, that's chrism,
all right.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
She she more recently got very famous for traveling around
the country with RFK Junior when he was running for president,
and she would send him spicy nudes. And at some
point apparently I don't know if this upset Cheryl Hines,
his wife, the Curb Your Enthusiasm actress. But Olivia Nuzzy
is now she's got a book out, and here's what's
so amazing about this.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
She now works at Vanity Fair.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Vanity Fair is also Condye Nast, the book publisher who
I'm assuming is publishing her book.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
I'm not going to read it.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
The New York Post story reads Vanity Fair to publish
abstract nude portrait of Olivia Nuzzy as scandal plague journalist
accused of shirking job duties effort to make a point
about how women in the media are sometimes oppressed. Olivia
and as he wrote a book about how she slept
with these older, white powerful men, really to get the story,
(23:09):
I guess, and then to promote the book. She's now
gonna send gonna post nude photos of herself online and
girl power.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
That you are a strong independent woman when you're naked,
using your vagina to get what you want. Way to
stand on feminism, Rosie o'donald, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Man, we're gonna get the story. I'm a hard work
at female journalist. I'm gonna use my snatch.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Rosie O'Donnell incidentally used to send nude photos that people
thought were abstract.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
I don't miss Rosie. She moved to Ireland.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Look, part of what bothers me about this is like,
obviously it's tacky and it probably has sets other female journalists.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
As a guy that tries to use all the resources.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Available to him to get as far as I can
in life, there's a part of me that doesn't blame her,
you know, don't hate the player, hate the game, that
kind of logic. But then, on the other hand, in
no man is mad about this, No conservative man is
mad about this. The only people mad about this are
ugly liberal women, whereas they're normally called liberal women.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
A little while.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Back, I don't remember what year. I think it was
twenty twelve. I don't remember when it was. The Republican
National Convention held there was held in Cleveland that year,
or wherever it was, I don't remember. I think it
was Cleveland or somewhere in the Midwest that you wouldn't
want to go unless you had to Milwaukee or whatever,
and to protest the Republican Party. Hundreds of topless feminist
protesters showed up to protest against the sexism of the
(24:37):
Republican Party. Now as a man if a bunch of
topless women showed up to protest a Jesse Payton comedy show.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Well, if they're liberal, I wouldn't be disinterested because you
wouldn't even be able to see their boobs unless they
were bottomless, because I don't know if you know where
liberal boobs lie, but it's somewhere between the knee and
the waiste.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Yes, yes, yes, thank you for that. Yeah, that's what
it was. Twenty twelve. No, well they did it more
than once. Looks like they did in two thousand and four. Sorry,
do you google it over there, Kenny, I'm tilsh I'll
show you right now. I was trying to find the
Republican Convention topless protesters. I guess they did it in
two thousand and four. They've did it a lot and
Google image search is always fun because you can look
(25:18):
at this stuff.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
I never really understood this. Women dressing up at silly costumes.
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Twenty twelve Republican Convention. Women dressed like vaginas to protest
Mitt Romney. They had a thing that Code Pink organized
called what was it? Bring your vagina to the Castro
Theater in San Francisco. Take that Mitt Romney. That'll teach you,
That'll teach you, or we're gonna look silly and stupid.
Does looking silly and stupid for a protest? Does that
(25:43):
ever work? That looks like an Arby's commercial? Thank you, Jesse, Sorry,
Jesse Payne. You got some shows coming up. We got
people on the radio listening.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
What would you if you're in the Houston area, if
you're not, if you're outside of Texas, you won't get
to see me till twenty twenty six. I'm taking off
the rest of the year, staying local, but December I'm
gonna be at Southern Star Brewery doing a show called
Kill Jesse with Kenney Webster.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Both of these shows actually have Kenny. And then December.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Twentieth, Docy Dough in the Woodlands and we are doing
the DFW area. Do we have listeners in the DFW arey, Kenny,
we do? We were there, we were there.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
In Fort Worth.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Yeah, we're going to be back at Arlington Music Hall
on December thirteenth, twelve thirteen.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
Doing couples Therapy. It's gonna be a fun show. But yeah,
that does sound like a fun show. And if people
want to buy tickets for all this stuff, I guess.
Jesse is Funny dot com Jesse is fine. I go
to that website Jesse is Funny dot com. I'm Kenny Webster.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
I love you all.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
I want to thank my good buddy, Jesse Peyton. Follow
Jesse is Funny on Instagram, on Twitter, on Facebook.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Are you on the TALC tech still or you got? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:44):
I do TikTok, I do Instagram mainly on Facebook. Most
of most of my stuff is on Facebook. Jesse Payton calmedy.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
Weirdly the places where conservatives seem to get censored the
most and dirty comedians seem to get censored the most.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
You thrive on those platforms. How do you get away
with it? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
I've got a good I know how to use an
amper sand instead of an A and a word to
make that when I say liberal cook, I have to
change words up.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
Is there any truth to the rumor that you and
Mark Zuckerberg have a physical relationship and that's why he's
not banning your profile.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
That's absolutely I do hand yubs.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
You are listening to the Pursuit of Happiness Radio, Tell
the government
Speaker 2 (27:34):
To kiss your ass when you listen to this show.
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