Jewish Space News - TUE 9.2

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Am I going to see Christmas lights, whether you drive
through the rich part of town to see what they've
done on the lawn and on their houses, or maybe
check into some of the hotels in the area because
they kind of dress up pretty well. I was reminded
for New Orleanians even and especially for tourists, if you
go to New Orleans, check out the hotels, some in

(00:22):
the French Quarter, some not, but they do an amazing
array of Christmas decorations. I specifically recommend the Ritz, the
mantleon Royal Secesta. Of course la Pavillon Omni Royal. I
love the Royal Orleans. And then, of course there's the
Roosevelt Roosevelt, whichever you prefer, ruse or a Rose.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Oh, I'm Roosevelt, bro Teddy all the way two o's,
so it's Rusevelt.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
If it was Rose, just be one.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Oh it's pronounced Teddy Roosevelt Roosevelt. Why are you so on? American?
He was one of the greatest presidents. He was one
of the great right wing populous. He created the National
park System. He actually once famously saved a bear, thus
coining the term teddy bear.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
What's not to love?

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Yeah? Why don't you like Teddy rose I bet you're
an FDR guy loser.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
I like Teddy Roosevelt. You like his cousin Rosevelt.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
The Golden Globes were announced yesterday.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
We're not talking about that.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
This year. Nominees who don't win will receive an official
Golden Globes Peace Prize. Yay, make you that was nice.
People say we never make fun of Trump. I just did.
I'm sorry. Sorry if you're not smart enough to get
to jokes, it's not my fault.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
You about Somalia overturning the law banning child marriage.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Wow, those Somalians are great. Huh.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
So they got a law, they came out and they
banned child marriage, and twenty four hours later they overturned it.
Have you seen the pictures of some of these girls.
I mean it's like eight year olds dressed up like
John Bana Ramsey in a wedding veil, and there's some
old guy sitting next to her, like Patner on the knee. Yeah. Yeah,

(02:03):
it's almost honeymoon time baby.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
All right, let's talk about Sami. Samaya is a disgusting place.
As you pointed out, no minimum age for marriage. Child
marriage is permitted if you want to have sex with
a child. I just got to point out here, straight
to hell with you. Capital punishment for anybody doing stuff
like that. That's disgusting.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Have they ever get the law of banned child marriage
in the first place? If the whole damn country seems.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
To love it, it's really sick, isn't it now. At
the same time, if you're just running the mill gay
two adults having consenting relations, Look, it's not for me,
but I don't think it should be illegal. They do, they'll,
they really do. They'll flog you, they'll punish you, they'll
imprison you, they'll even kill you. In al Shabab controlled
areas who put the pup in the Oldama ding Dong

(02:49):
and in Somalia they actually have corporal punishments like amputation
and stoning. Sharia courts prescribed hdded punishments meaning hand amputation
for theft, flogging for adeltrey or alcohol use.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
Before you knock it? Does it work?

Speaker 2 (03:05):
Cutting off someone's hand because they like self pleasured or
seems a little strash to me. But also leaving Islam
carries a de facto death penalty under Sharia. Remember that
elon Omer is from a country where they'll kill you
for not being a Muslim. But American liberals want more
of them here. Yeah, they banned alcohol, they banned pork,

(03:29):
very harsh punishments on that. Could you imagine being flogged
with eighty lashes for eating porkrins and having a cold beer.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
I'd probably do it we get flogged, or yeah, I
probably would. I ain't giving up and all the disgusting
things they do in Somalia. And I really want to
stress this one.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Forced female genital mutilation is widely tolerated in the country.
Now there are supposedly bans on it, but they still
do it. They're not enforcing any of the laws to
prevent it. Basically, they think the email orgasms should be illegal,
and so they don't want women to have the lady
bits there that would cause something.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Might inspire orgasmic qualities.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
So we're talking about importing a culture of people who
don't contribute to the economy, who actually steal from us
in to the tune of billions, send the money home
to al Shabab, a country where they'll punish you for
eating pork rimes and having a cold beer or being gay.
They rape kids, and they cut their genitals off if
it's a woman. Now, I ask you, why do American

(04:30):
liberal democrat feminists want this in America?

Speaker 1 (04:33):
Anybody got an answer? We got no American feminine liberalists
in here.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah. Well, mister Kenneth, I guess you'd be the one
at all, not at all, you'd be the one guy,
not at all. My friend Ryan Rodgers, he's a funny
gay comedian from New Orleans. He says, whenever he's hanging
out with a group of stray guys, they always treat
him like he's the gay woman in the group, like
they'll all be growing and they'll tell him to go
make potato salad. But he said he doesn't know how
to make potato salad.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
Got start with the mustardvice got out of muscle baby.
Don't put throw all that male in there.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Mister kenneths you have a pen, write this down. Yeah,
I'm gonna write this down. I prefer the black people
potato salad to the white people stuff. It's better is
black people potatoes out also German potatoes souad? Is it? No,
it's a little different, Yeah, it's better.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
I gotta here. German's all right, is better than white
people potatoes outad. German potato salad better, but black potato
salad better than German.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
I like black American potato salad, but I'm thinking some
allium potato salad will probably not be good.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Probably doesn't even have potatoes that.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
Yeah, it's probably got children's mut don't never mind stopping
never mind stop stop stop stop the show. Shut it.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
It's also odd that it doesn't seem to work both ways.
Of course, I know they think women are an inferior species,
But in any country, Muslim or other, you don't often
see uh, you know, cougars. They might call them older women,
unless they're high school teachers going after underage boys. Now

(05:52):
that mainly just happens in the teacher student relationship, but
not elsewhere.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
You raise a good point. Why do you think that is.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Because women can control themselves better than men?

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, but we have like all these news stories about
women having sex with underage boys, and then, uh, you know,
there's like a lot of them, you know what I mean?
That makes me think they can't control themselves.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Yeah, the women can, but then the boys are quite willing.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
So it's the boy's fault, yes, that the adult women
are raping them.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
Yeah, because they're looking all, you know, like yummy and stuff.
Stop stop that. I know nobody gonna get throwed off
a building around here. It ain't gonna be me.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
Look, I'll look the other way. Kim Cantrell, who played
Samantha on Sex and the City, just got married.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
That is well, it's just not like her character, is it.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
It's such a Charlotte thing to do, isn't it. I
don't even get what that means. One of our producers
wrote that joke, and I was like, I guess we'll
tell it for the women. Here. Here's one. Bill Belichick
has been nominated for the Hall of Fame, not for football,
for Sugar Daddy Hall of Fame of the Year Award.
Bro Bill Belichick is my favorite football nobody crying about that.

(07:01):
There is not a single football coach I love as
much as Bill Belichick. He just seems like a cool
guy to me.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Now, what is he forty eight years older than his fiance?

Speaker 2 (07:10):
I think?

Speaker 1 (07:11):
Is that it? Or did they get married yet? I
don't remember? Now? So yeah, so what.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
Are you better than him? You're not better than Bill Belichick.
Let's see show, mister, Oh your super Bowl rings?

Speaker 1 (07:23):
Mister Kenneth So when he was sixty, Yeah, you think
they would have been a fine couple.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
No, it doesn't matter, it's about today. You're living in
the past, buddy.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
Well you talk about all these child brides and Somalia
and how awful it is, But she'd basically be his childbride.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
She's an adult. Once they're twenty five, their brain is
done forming.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
Are they like potatoes? Guinea go on? Oh no, that's
the wrong joke for the wrong show.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Didn't quite understand what that meant. What about potato has been?
All right? We got Florida man coming up. But first,
some Dallas homeowners are angry that their neighbors are hating
a massive light display that they put up every Christmas.
In fact, the city at Dallas has given them a
citation for the extravagant light display and all the traffic

(08:12):
that it causes in their neighborhood. So now Ryan and
his wife man.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
Al Copeland of the Metroplex is what that is? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Who's that?

Speaker 1 (08:20):
I know? I'll tell you later.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
So now Ryan and his wife Mandy Devitis are doubling
down and have filled their entire property with grinch inflatables
to go after their neighbors. And I think that's kind
of funny. Actually, mean one, mister Grinch, you are bro.
I love that Christmas time in the city, the coolest, right,

(08:42):
driving lights everywhere, an obnoxious amount of Christmas lights.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
You know.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
Not far away from here, there's a neighborhood where there's
a lot of wealthy people. Maybe you've been there before.
It used to be an average suburban neighborhood, but now
it's a rich inner city neighborhood because that's how urban
sprawl were. In fact, it used to be where zz
Top had a garage bed, but now it's where a
bunch of rich people have their mansions, including some very

(09:08):
wealthy oils ares from the Mideast. And when you drive
around that neighborhood you can tell who they are because
they don't decorate their yards at all. Oh really, And.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
You know what I like about the Jews not all Christmas.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
H Well, the Jews do put up some Christmas stuff,
I sure, even if, but the Muslims don't. You know
what I mean. I'm not saying it's a contest or anything,
but if you're trying to prove to us that you
belong in the country, man, maybe just put us stand
up or something.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
And you also suggested maybe you used to drive around
in your neighborhood and maybe some neighborhoods nearby your neighborhood
with a pen and pencil and just drop down addresses
of houses that aren't decorated.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
It's an interesting idea, yes.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
Saying it might be a helpful information for later.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Okay, so what would we do with this list?

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Billy? I keep it handy? How handy are you talking?
I'd fold it up, put it in your wallet. Oh
you're actually writing it on paper.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
He's so old.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
All I'm saying is, if you have a boat this summer,
I have a throat.

Speaker 3 (10:02):
Hi?

Speaker 2 (10:02):
Can I rent a boat for the entire summer?

Speaker 1 (10:05):
And Johnson come on back to everybody, Come on back,
get back. I know we thought it was over. It
was you pulled out early guinea. I guess that's the
Catholic in you. Huh Oh? Do do we have time
for one more? Why are you so gay for space?
The Walton and Johnson's show presents Gay for Space and

(10:26):
it is brought to your boy one more time for
your ease of Christmas shopping.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
Where to my pillow dot com.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
They've got a special promotion going on right now for Christmas.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
Don't just shop at my pillow dot com for you,
don't just shop there for your family members. Don't just
shop there for America and Mike Lindellen is handsome mustache.
Do it for us at the Walton Johnson Show.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
That's the most important part of all.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
It's not just a Christmas gift you give to your
friends and loved ones. You're also helping out the Walton
Johnson Show. When you use promo code w J, We'll
tell you the truth. That's it. It's work.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
That's how it works. Promo code WJ.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
Thank you. Today we take you to Jewland. I'm sorry
with the planet of Jews. Jews is space spaceballs? It
kind of is. Yeah. A former Israeli space security chief
has sent eyebrows shooting heavenward by making a claim that

(11:23):
some people will be quite shocked to learn. Apparently, according
to this report, there are aliens.

Speaker 1 (11:30):
Oh yeah, they're all over the place, especially Minnesota.

Speaker 2 (11:32):
No no, no, from another planet though space space aliens. Yeah,
Earth wings have been in contact with extra extra terrestrials
from a from a hell, from a galactic federation. You
love it when he did that I'll be right here,
Ellis Elliot, No, did you know that?

Speaker 1 (11:51):
What did he do with that big finger? And why
was his finger so like, you know, like he speculated?

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Did you know there was a subplot no, in the
movie that they took out where e T had a
crash on Elliott's mom. How's that?

Speaker 1 (12:04):
You mentioned it years ago and I listened and paid attention.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
Would I be nice if other people treated me those well?

Speaker 2 (12:13):
Wouldn't it be weird? If I wouldn't be weird if
the alien tried to get Elliott to smell his finger? Elliott, no, mama,
A former Israeli space security chief, says Trump knows about
these aliens. Oh really, he says. The unidentifying flying objects
have asked not to publish that they are here. Humanity
is not ready yet, said Hayim Ashad, former head of

(12:36):
JEWS in space. That's how you know it's serious gout
and apparently, according to him, a respected professor in retired general.
He says, the aliens were equally curious about humanity, and
we're seeking to understand the fabric of the universe.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Yea, the better they get to know us, the less
they want to know us.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
And it gives us the opportunity to play this See
and space. All right, everybody, you know the lyrics, Let's go.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
In space. We're flying along defending the Heaver Race.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
Are in space the clamor attacking and there it is kids,
there is they're aliens, and the Jews know where they are,

(13:37):
and so does Trump because Trump's friends with the Jews.
He knows, and we're okay with that. This isn't like
an anti Jew thing or an anti Trump thing.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
We ain't antie nothing around here except you know, like
sex with kids and mists and communists.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
I guess, I guess we got pretty good lists going,
don't we. I guess there is actually a lot of
stuff where I feel like there's quite a bit.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
But we're not anti Jew. I know, there's some radio
shows that are really anti as long as Jews are
willing to let us make fun of them just a
little bit, we're pro Jew around here.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
That's okay with it.

Speaker 2 (14:05):
That's it. That's our position.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
All your jokes, Jews tell some great jokes about other Jews.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
Yeah, you know who else likes good jokes? Uh? Like
really cool black guy?

Speaker 1 (14:14):
You know. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah, right on, Anyway, I
do want to know what the hell pantone is. Though
nobody want to talk about this, but I want to
know what the hell pantone is. He came to the
right place the color of the year, according to whatever
the hell pantone is, they decided, out of all the
colors to go with, they said, Mmm, let's think about it.
How about white white the color of the year. No,

(14:37):
that's thankful, all right, let's start out with this. It's
a specific kind of white. You know, there's a lot
of different kinds of whites.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Is it like fluffy cloud white or something like that.
I was looking at this yesterday. Let's start off with this.
You know, it's a I think it's a color palette brand.
You ever see people when they have all the colors
like on the little cards and they're like, this is
sky blue and that's you know, instration red or whatever
it is. Well, no, in this case, I guess people

(15:04):
are really mad about this Pantone.

Speaker 1 (15:07):
They name colors, so they're a color matching system and
a color proprietary naming system for a variety of industries.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
Of course, guys, this is so much stupider than you
would think it would be. People are really really mad
about this.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
You're not going to convince me that this was not
an intentional move. There's no way that this was an oversight,
like someone did this on purpose. Pantone just released their
Color of the Year for twenty twenty six, and it
is severely lacking pig.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
It is white.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
Can I hear me?

Speaker 1 (15:34):
I'm telling you is white? Can I just point out
here this? What cloud dancer?

Speaker 2 (15:38):
This white lady that's mad about this?

Speaker 1 (15:40):
What color is her couch? Oh, that looks like it's
a tope.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
What color is your Christmas tree? It's flocked. It's all white, guys,
everything's white. You're thinking, okay, so one stupid person on
the internet's mad that the color of the year is white.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
That's probably just the only one, though, No, there's.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
A lot of them.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
Here's a woman burning color palettes outside with what pan?

Speaker 2 (16:01):
She's got a fire fired?

Speaker 1 (16:03):
Oh she really chose white.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
Smug And by the way, the only people that are
mad about this are white people. Nobody else cares at all.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
Will put me down for care? I care?

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Am I the only person that remembers all the black
people that were throwing white parties. They were Have you
ever been to one. I have black people invite me
to things I don't go to stuff like that. I
got invited to a white party and I was like, oh,
that seems like a bad place for me to go,
being you know what I do for a living. People.
That probably hurt the show.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
Did somebody say it was called cloud?

Speaker 2 (16:33):
And then someone explained to me it's a party with
all black people, you wear white. So I show up
at it and sure enough I was the diversity.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
What would have been wrong with black clouds? You know
there's black clouds too, but no, they had to just
go with the white cloud.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
What about black smoke?

Speaker 1 (16:47):
It's called cloud Dancer, but it could still be black
cloud dancers, black smoke, black smoke.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
That's my Catholic rap name. Hey john why don't you
save us from this stupid conversation?

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Don't forget boys and.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
Eat it every day? Hey again, you've reached the end
of though Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you. That
means you listened all the way to the end.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
Does that mean we're going away now never to be
heard again?

Speaker 2 (17:12):
No?

Speaker 1 (17:12):
No, no, there will be a new show tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or we're off work,
But as always, you could go to waltonand Johnson dot
com and you could find all kinds of cool stuff there.
Our news blog links to our social media accounts. Believe
it or not, our personal lives are very boring. If
you comment on our social media pages, we might reply yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Chances are we're just sitting around waiting to hear from you.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
Yeah, so, what's the big deal. Go to Walton Johnson
dot com today. I'm told there's a store.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
Oh yes, we do have a lovely store and you could.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Buy things there. Walton Johnson dot com. What's not to
love