Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't wake me up.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I think I'm I'm dreaming.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I was dreaming when I wrote this.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
No way, all right, mister Kenneth, we let you do
one thing every show, and this is it.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Once again.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
You're allocated time you want to devote towards celebrity birthdays.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Are you sure? I am sure. I mean the public
demands it. I give the people what they want.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I've never heard anybody in the public demand it.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
You just trust me they do. You're just paying attention.
It's Tea Paine's birthday.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Yay.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
The guy that brought us auto tune.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Oh don't we just love a good auto tune song
that means everybody can sing. Now.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
I just felt like technically that was, you know, SHA's fault,
but he was the one that took it to the
next level.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yeah, with this.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Little jam, I'm in love with a dancer. We can't
play the stripper version.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
And so he's forty one now, by the way, and
Tea Pain's I mean, auto tune has been around seems
like for damn forty years.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Damn little mama, little Mama.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
No, yeah, anyway, and he's twerking, No, she's twerking. I'd
be almost finished. Now we didn't have to listen to that.
Lacy Chabert is forty three. She was in Mean Girls
and some other stuff. Kieren Culkin, you know McAuley's little brother.
He's forty three.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Now, he's so old.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I know. Donnique Mosaigneu. She was a tiny little gymnast
back in the ninety seven Olympics, and then she grew
up and I guess she got too big to be
Olympics a gymnast anymore. She shot up seven inches somewhere
around her seventeenth birthday.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I guess I didn't know seven inches was even possible.
That's amazing, Yeah, trust me, it is. Oh wow, okay.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Marianne Courtyard, the French actress. She won her Oscar for
Le'Veon roles. She was also in Inception and Contagion and
Dark Knight. She's fifty. Jimna Elfman remember Dharma and Greg.
Nobody does. That's okay.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
It was the heterosexual version of Will and Grace. It
was they said we should take the popularity of Will
and Grace and take all the gay out of it, and.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I got it.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Norman Greg came first. But that's okay.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I don't think that's true.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Tony Hale, who was on Veep. He's very funny. He's
fifty five years old today. Manica Baloucci, the Italian Beauty,
that's what they call him in Italian. There's Italian beauty.
She was in all those Matrix sequels. Okay, she's sixty one.
Eric Stolts is sixty four, friend Dresher, everybody loved the
(02:37):
Nanny right, sixty eight. Greg from the Brady Bunch is
seventy one. Marilyn McCoo eighty two. Johnny Mathis is still
out there. He's with us at ninety assuming he woke
up this morning. And Angie Dickenson, who was policewoman and
a lot of other things. Ninety four. Goodness, okay, no
(03:01):
longer with us. Whitney's mama, Sissy Houston, born on this
date nineteen thirty three.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Does that count? She's famous? I don't get that she was.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
She was famous at her own right. But now you know,
young people just know Whitney or maybe Bobby Christina. That's
that's Bobby Christina's grandma.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I know Bob, Bobby, I remember him, right.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
That's a different, different Bobby. Uh yeah, Bobby Brown as
a husband. This is a you know, daughter, I believe you. Yeah,
so you know, happy birthday. And if it's your birthday,
I guess you should have worked harder at getting famous, right,
should have tried harder?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Loser? Yeah, you know what I mean. Maybe your band
will take off next summer.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Maybe. Yeah, we'll just see about that. Good luck. Oh,
today is a pet trick day, and I guess the
day that you're supposed to teach your pet some tricks.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I've been working on that, me and Milton. I really
want him to ride a.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Skateboard, I know. And then he's not getting it.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
He doesn't pat he doesn't do the pushing, He'll just
ride on it a dog lazy, I know.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Will He wants you to help him, you know, instead
of standing up on his own four legs and do
it at himself.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
He must think I'm the government.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I guess he does. I'm not the government. You have
to do it on this day in history. He brought
to you by law, Tigers. It's the day that James
Dean died.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
That's really sad. Yeah, And also isn't this brought to.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You by law?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yea law tigers, tiger. We want you to know that
today's national mold cider day. What the hell is that, Billy?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
It's cider?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Well is it say?
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Mold? That's that's something they do to it, all right?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Extra virgin olive oil day. How's that different from regular?
And then it's chewing gum day. But not in Singapore.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I'm told no, no, they'll can in Singapore for it,
all right.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Today.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
In eighteen twenty two, Joseph Martinez is the first Hispanic
elected to Congress.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
What is he still there?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
No? He got deported. Today. In eighteen sixty eight.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
The volume of Louisa May Alcott's Little Woman is published.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I think it's women, but you know it's okay, little
women and whatever. I'm not going to read it. Today.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
In nineteen twenty seven, Babe Ruth hit his sixtieth home
run of the season. Wow, sixty home runs. Then he
did it all fueled by bourbon and cheeseburgers, not steroids.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
And human growth hormones.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Today. In nineteen thirty five, FDR dedicates the Boulder Dam.
It's now called the Hoover Dam.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Who do you name it after?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Bah? A guy named Boulder? I guess I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I thought he named it after a guy named Hoover
now today.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
In nineteen forty seven, the World Series was broadcast on
TV for the first time.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Good, so that was the thing. Oh, I bet that
was exciting. Today. In nineteen sixty they used to have
this TV show you could watch called The Flintstones, and nobody.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Did have a gay old time for sure.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah, The Flintstones debuted on this day way back in
nineteen sixty. That's how old it is. And you know,
it really makes me long for the past. I am
mister Flintstone.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Greetings, Rocky, my boy, pack of Winston's please.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Ah, you like them Winston Cigarette. So mister Flintstone.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Oh, but of course they really got children better times
now in the state nineteen eighty two, it was before
the Waldon Johnson Show.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Even forty three years ago Cheers Premier. Did you know
Cheers was that old?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Yeah, it's really old.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Wow, forty three years ago ran for eleven seasons.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Forty three that's how old I am I now today.
In nineteen seventy two, baseball great Roberto Clemente gets his
three thousandth headed what is actually his last?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
He quit after that.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Well he quit or got killed one of the other.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Today in nineteen ninety seven. This is an interesting one
for you, mister Kenneth. Hooters agrees to pay three point
eight million dollars settlement for not hiring men as servers.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Did all men get a portion of that money? Because
I did not?
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Yeah? I didn't get anything.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
So this that one guy.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
If I go apply for a job, do I get
a cut of that today? How does that work?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
You ain't getting nothing? Trust me, I know how does work.
You try to get a job at Hooters. Oh, I
know how it worked. How does it work? It don't
catch your money. They don't give you no money. Today's
see murder will convicted a murder and you believe that.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
With a name like Sea Murder, I'm surprised because it
seems like the last guy that would do that, And
yet there it is right there in his name.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
That was this first or the second time?
Speaker 1 (07:12):
She had a hit song called down for My Ends? Hey?
What does N stand for?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
But I get this slot of idea.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
It's right there in the song title.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
This is nobody can tell? Ain't nobody to wait to
note about that?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
This is the only Sea Murder song we have in
our system.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
So if I'm not mistaken, Sea murder who refused to
use his real name in court because he wanted to
be known for murder. Got convicted of murder, and then
they overturned that conviction later and then retried him. Didn't
really seem to learn his lesson, and reconvicted him, and
now he served life in prison.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Now we ran into his brother at the airport, remember
master p Uh huh, And he was really excited to
meet me, and he wasn't as excited about meeting you guys.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
He really was excited to see you. He almost stopped walking,
that's right second, and then he just kept moving.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Now I looked into it the key and master P
stands for Percy, I think. But we still have no
idea what the end stands for. In the hit song
down for My.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Ends, huh, No way to know, no way to know
you Sure it's not n DS.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
No, it's just an aposters vs. Like he's referring to
a group of people as ends. Now, I didn't write
that song, so I don't know what it means.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Well, probably never know unless somebody wants to go to
jail and you know, interview them and ask him. Right now,
you've done it, You've gone to jail before and interviewed people.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Had that go Donna good.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Oh, I went to a women's prison, and what I
learned is that the women in prison, because they don't
have Jared's jewelers or BJ's pawnshops or Shaw's joy and
an effort to prove that they love each other, they're
willing to do some really degrading things in prison.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Were there are a lot of men at that prison
back then?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Back then, No, because it was Texas, they didn't have
the train anything that was huh more Jersey and Oregon.
But to your point, after they started allowing transgender inmates
into the women's prison in New Jersey, the pregnancy rate
for inmates just skyrock.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Well, nobody could have seen that coming.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Yeah, nobody knows how they all got pregnant either, because
we all agree that training women are still women, right
of course obviously.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
And they can get pregnant and do all the things
that real women can do.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Do you think that's why Keith and Nicole split up
because she never got pregnant?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Or maybe that's it, you know, and they had two kids? Oh,
so she could get pregnant, I guess so. Or did
he get maybe?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Yeah, and now he doesn't like the fact that she's
disrespecting him and his uterus, Man Uterus.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
That's what I ought to do. I always wanted to
have kids, and I never have time for you.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
To just go ahead. And you know what did we
learned yesterday that somebody with the powers, the witchcraft or something,
they can just think themselves pregnant.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
I heard that. Yeah, you know what I was saying.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Yesterday.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
The Democrats kept talking about how they wanted to shut
down the government, and I thought maybe when they said that,
they were trying to impregnate me.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Ooh yeah, watch out.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Honestly it worked better than Silla. So I was getting
really aroused by.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
It could turn very volatile if you move law enforcement
in there the wrong way and turn what is just
a bunch of people having fun watching cars burn into
a massive confrontation and altercation between officers and demonstrators.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Stay tuned for more Waltman Johnson.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Swedish criminal gangs are enlisting teenage girls to carry out
brutal assassinations and mame rivals in napalm bomb attacks and
gang ravaged Swedish cities.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
You lost me after hot Swedish girls I never said
they were hot. When you said I pictured them as
hot in my mind, well I didn't say they were,
but they are.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Girls as young as fifteen are being recruited on social
media to work as child assassins.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
In my mind they were eighteen.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
And they're not.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
No, and they're being given cash to complete killings before
spending the blood money on things like clothes and handbags.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Oh, basically, they hired hot young girls to lieu of me.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Nobody said they're hot.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I don't know where you're getting It was from trolls
me they are Why would you hire ugly women to
kill me? And they got to be able to get
close to them. They got to be able to get
demand to drop his you know, his god whatever he's dropped.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
To your point, though, if they were hot, why would
they have to take a job as an assassin.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
They don't have to, but they want money for clothes
and they're fifteen.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Yeah. Oh, good point.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Anyway, So as you know, Sweden is a Nordic nation
and I was once considered a haven of low crime.
They have been gripped by extreme gang violence.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
So what changed?
Speaker 1 (11:32):
What's different now? It turns out of his immigration.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Uh yeah, you gotta be careful about that who you
allow into your country. Luckily we're aware of how that
can work out.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Children have been used by gangs to commit crimes in
Sweden on an unprecedented scale, with the country this month
moving to reduce the age of criminal responsibility to.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Thirteen oh thirteen years of age, right exactly.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Yeah, they've noticed that there is a group of impoverished
migrants that are becoming mobsters, and they're seeking out young girls.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
And they're known as green women. And actually they do.
It's not all migrants.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
They do hire the blonde, typical Swedish girls. They're thought
to attract less suspicion when carrying out or aiding with
the assassinations.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Why are they called green women because of money? I
don't even know if Swedish money is green or not.
That's what I think of.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I don't get it either. Now they're promised quick cash.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
The bounties pay something like thirteen thousand euros offered for
a successful hit. Less risky tasks including mixing napalm to
help with the assassinations, can fetch you a few thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Huh. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
And so once these young girls get signed up they
carry out their gang bosses dirty work, assassinating relatives of
rival gangsters other targets, often without ever meeting the person
who is ordering the killing.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Well, of course, no, you don't. That's just a name
on a phone or a voice on the phone. You
don't know who it is.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
One girl named Olivia was caught on a closed circuit
TV casually delivering bags containing an explosive nicknamed a palm,
after being hired to build and deliver a firebarm for
an arson so they could attack a rival gang. The
seventeen year old was approached by a gang handler on
social media who offered her money and then told her
she must help.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
With the petrol bomb attack. Well, it all went down.
It was quite It's quite common there.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
We heard before about how they were having a hand
grenade epidemic at Sweden.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Right, it's so much crazier than I thought it was.
They also got up an AK forty seven epidemic over there.
These young girls, some of them apparently, are armed, and
they'll just spray lad Now that suns their enemies.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
That seems impossible, billy, You can't buy guns in Sweden.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
How do they manage that?
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
How would they get their hands on an AK forty seven.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Good question. I can't imagine there's a way, boy, I
don't know. I wish we could figure that out.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Well, if you are a Swedish teenage girl and you're
approached by a migrant about performing an assassination or doing
some kind of bombing, you tell them no.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
But also, if you're a person who should be careful
about that sort of thing, and you're approached by a
teenage girl, you should tell them to go away.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Yeah, you should tell them stop it. I am not interested.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
I'm as uninterested in you as Nicole Kidman is in
Keith Urban's Penis you get out of here?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Yeah? You hadn't heard that. It's not an unusual reference.
Now Nicole Kidman and her husband breaking up after nineteen
years of marriage. Wow, just switch.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
If Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban can't make it. If
they can't, who can, what chance to the.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Rest of us have? I know, you know, I'm I
was really hoping. Isn't it weird to think? Who is it?
Kurt Russell and Goldie Han still together after all these years?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
So they never got married because they never got married.
And that's something you guys really enjoy right.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Well, you know they didn't get the government involved, Isn't
it kind of weird how we do that? Like you'll
sleep with someone and realize you really like them. You
know that moment of clarity afterwards where you ask yourself,
do I even want this person to be here? And
in some cases people will say yes, and then weirdly enough,
from there they say, you know what we ought to do?
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Baby? This sex is so good. Baby, we should get
lawyers involved. Oh could? We should get judges and contracts
involved with all the government and let them oversee everything.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
If we ever want to break up, I want to
have a very painful argument with you in front of
a jury.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
You know.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
That's the kind of that's the kind of sex we're
having right now. Yeah, that sounds good?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Right Well, never has a lured me in, but I
know some of you guys fall for it.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I would like to get married again someday. Oh boy,
you know, I enjoyed it.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
I thought marriage was nice right up until it was well,
you know, it wasn't really my choice, but I enjoyed
being married. I think I like the idea of not
having to go on dates. Going on dates is kind
of a chore. I mean, it's fun at first, and
then it's like, uh, this year you meet some wildly
exciting people. Though, don't you not me?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
No, No, I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Oh I don't think you do.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
I've had a you know, it's been an experience. I
can't think of a more flattering way to explain it.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
In the meantime, I'm afraid we have a new Karen
in the world of sports. Who is it? You remember
the last Karen? She screamed at some guy until she
took his kids baseball away from him.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
It was at a Philadelphia Phillies game.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You know how they are?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
What is Philly anyway?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
What they actually in a Florida? They were in Florida
or Philadelphia people?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
You know how they are?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Well, a new Karen in a world of sports now,
and she might be even worse than this Philly woman.
This Karen is a New York Giants fan. And I
don't know if you know. The Kansas City Chiefs played
the Giants just recently. This woman swiped Patrick Mahomes headband
right out of the hands of a little kid after
(16:49):
the Chiefs beat the Giants. This Karen and her man
then posted a video while they were leaving the game,
bragging about how Mahomes came right to her to hand
her the headband. But there's video and clearly shows he
was trying to hand the headband, the sweatband whatever to
(17:11):
the kid, who was wearing a Kansas City jersey. I
think seems likely anyway, he was a Kasay fan, he
was wearing a Karen was wearing a giant shirt. He
wasn't about to hand her a little souvenir from the game,
and she's not a kid, and I just reached out
and took it. After the Internet tore into her, she
(17:32):
posted a defiant video that really did no favors for her.
She admitted that maybe the headband was meant for the kid,
but she claimed she didn't know it at the time.
You know, she just reached out and just grabbed it.
Blamed this typical Karen, blamed everybody around her, everybody for
not speaking up and said this is good because it'll
(17:56):
help make that young boy tougher.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
And that way they said about the last kid at
the Phillies game.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Yeah, isn't it weird to think we've now had three
of these incidents this year? Where somebody was at a
stadium on a JumboTron and something on Savory happened and
it ruined their life.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
And they lie about it first, blatantly lie in the
videos shows that they're lying.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
First.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
There was that Coldplay concert, remember that, a perfect example
of the streisand effect. If that guy just sat there
and did nothing, nobody would have that would have never
got on the internet.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
That whole trying to hide from the camera is why
you got caught.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Yeah, and then of course the woman at the Phillies game. Yeah,
and now this maybe there should be some kind of
TV show where we get them all together and ask
them if they have any regrets.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Or I like to, Yeah, put them on an island somewhere,
and you know, last person standing gets to leave the island.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
What's it called love Island? Is that the thing that
they do?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
That's not the same, but it is a show.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
What are you talking about? Running Man? Is that what
you're talking to me? Yeah, let's do that.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Are we at a point now where we could have
Running Man? Like if enough people signed off on the waiver,
they'd agree.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
So sure, that's what that movie is. That Stephen kingbook
The Longest Walk or the something.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I thought it was called Running Man.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
No, that was also different, you know, like forty years later,
there's a kind of the same thing.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
And then there was Hunger Games. That's kind of the
same thing. That's kind of the same thing.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
I feel like i'd be good at that Hunger Games.
Like if you put me in a place and I
had to hide in the bushes and kill a guy
and then win a prize.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I could do that. You get a bullet arrow too, Yeah, yeah,
I like that. If they gave me a pot and arrow,
I could definitely do it. Could you make one yourself?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Though?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Okay, so that's the question, right, that's the million Probably not.
I don't think I could make one.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Probably not.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
They're not even gonna have a Walmart in there or anything.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Yeah, if then you might be able to make the bull,
But would you be able to make the string? If
there's an academy sports, I could figure it out. Oh yeah,
they'd be pretty cool. Sure, I just go to the
gun department. You know.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Hunger Games is easy.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
To understand, is I'm not trapped in here with you.
If you're trapped in here.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
With me, Stay tuned for more. Waltman Johnson
Don't wake me up.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I think I'm I'm dreaming.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I was dreaming when I wrote this.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
No way, all right, mister Kenneth, we let you do
one thing every show, and this is it.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Once again.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
You're allocated time you want to devote towards celebrity birthdays.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Are you sure? I am sure. I mean the public
demands it. I give the people what they want.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I've never heard anybody in the public demand it.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
You just trust me they do. You're just paying attention.
It's Tea Paine's birthday.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Yay.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
The guy that brought us auto tune.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Oh don't we just love a good auto tune song
that means everybody can sing. Now.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
I just felt like technically that was, you know, SHA's fault,
but he was the one that took it to the
next level.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yeah, with this.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Little jam, I'm in love with a dancer. We can't
play the stripper version.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
And so he's forty one now, by the way, and
Tea Pain's I mean, auto tune has been around seems
like for damn forty years.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Damn little mama, little Mama.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
No, yeah, anyway, and he's twerking, No, she's twerking. I'd
be almost finished. Now we didn't have to listen to that.
Lacy Chabert is forty three. She was in Mean Girls
and some other stuff. Kieren Culkin, you know McAuley's little brother.
He's forty three.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Now, he's so old.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I know. Donnique Mosaigneu. She was a tiny little gymnast
back in the ninety seven Olympics, and then she grew
up and I guess she got too big to be
Olympics a gymnast anymore. She shot up seven inches somewhere
around her seventeenth birthday.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I guess I didn't know seven inches was even possible.
That's amazing, Yeah, trust me, it is. Oh wow, okay.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Marianne Courtyard, the French actress. She won her Oscar for
Le'Veon roles. She was also in Inception and Contagion and
Dark Knight. She's fifty. Jimna Elfman remember Dharma and Greg.
Nobody does. That's okay.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
It was the heterosexual version of Will and Grace. It
was they said we should take the popularity of Will
and Grace and take all the gay out of it, and.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I got it.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Norman Greg came first. But that's okay.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I don't think that's true.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Tony Hale, who was on Veep. He's very funny. He's
fifty five years old today. Manica Baloucci, the Italian Beauty,
that's what they call him in Italian. There's Italian beauty.
She was in all those Matrix sequels. Okay, she's sixty one.
Eric Stolts is sixty four, friend Dresher, everybody loved the
(02:37):
Nanny right, sixty eight. Greg from the Brady Bunch is
seventy one. Marilyn McCoo eighty two. Johnny Mathis is still
out there. He's with us at ninety assuming he woke
up this morning. And Angie Dickenson, who was policewoman and
a lot of other things. Ninety four. Goodness, okay, no
(03:01):
longer with us. Whitney's mama, Sissy Houston, born on this
date nineteen thirty three.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Does that count? She's famous? I don't get that she was.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
She was famous at her own right. But now you know,
young people just know Whitney or maybe Bobby Christina. That's
that's Bobby Christina's grandma.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I know Bob, Bobby, I remember him, right.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
That's a different, different Bobby. Uh yeah, Bobby Brown as
a husband. This is a you know, daughter, I believe you. Yeah,
so you know, happy birthday. And if it's your birthday,
I guess you should have worked harder at getting famous, right,
should have tried harder?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Loser? Yeah, you know what I mean. Maybe your band
will take off next summer.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Maybe. Yeah, we'll just see about that. Good luck. Oh,
today is a pet trick day, and I guess the
day that you're supposed to teach your pet some tricks.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I've been working on that, me and Milton. I really
want him to ride a.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Skateboard, I know. And then he's not getting it.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
He doesn't pat he doesn't do the pushing, He'll just
ride on it a dog lazy, I know.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Will He wants you to help him, you know, instead
of standing up on his own four legs and do
it at himself.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
He must think I'm the government.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I guess he does. I'm not the government. You have
to do it on this day in history. He brought
to you by law, Tigers. It's the day that James
Dean died.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
That's really sad. Yeah, And also isn't this brought to.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You by law?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Yea law tigers, tiger. We want you to know that
today's national mold cider day. What the hell is that, Billy?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
It's cider?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Well is it say?
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Mold? That's that's something they do to it, all right?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Extra virgin olive oil day. How's that different from regular?
And then it's chewing gum day. But not in Singapore.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I'm told no, no, they'll can in Singapore for it,
all right.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Today.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
In eighteen twenty two, Joseph Martinez is the first Hispanic
elected to Congress.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
What is he still there?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
No? He got deported. Today. In eighteen sixty eight.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
The volume of Louisa May Alcott's Little Woman is published.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I think it's women, but you know it's okay, little
women and whatever. I'm not going to read it. Today.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
In nineteen twenty seven, Babe Ruth hit his sixtieth home
run of the season. Wow, sixty home runs. Then he
did it all fueled by bourbon and cheeseburgers, not steroids.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
And human growth hormones.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Today. In nineteen thirty five, FDR dedicates the Boulder Dam.
It's now called the Hoover Dam.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Who do you name it after?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Bah? A guy named Boulder? I guess I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I thought he named it after a guy named Hoover
now today.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
In nineteen forty seven, the World Series was broadcast on
TV for the first time.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Good, so that was the thing. Oh, I bet that
was exciting. Today. In nineteen sixty they used to have
this TV show you could watch called The Flintstones, and nobody.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Did have a gay old time for sure.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah, The Flintstones debuted on this day way back in
nineteen sixty. That's how old it is. And you know,
it really makes me long for the past. I am
mister Flintstone.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Greetings, Rocky, my boy, pack of Winston's please.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Ah, you like them Winston Cigarette. So mister Flintstone.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Oh, but of course they really got children better times
now in the state nineteen eighty two, it was before
the Waldon Johnson Show.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Even forty three years ago Cheers Premier. Did you know
Cheers was that old?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Yeah, it's really old.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Wow, forty three years ago ran for eleven seasons.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Forty three that's how old I am I now today.
In nineteen seventy two, baseball great Roberto Clemente gets his
three thousandth headed what is actually his last?
Speaker 1 (06:26):
He quit after that.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Well he quit or got killed one of the other.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Today in nineteen ninety seven. This is an interesting one
for you, mister Kenneth. Hooters agrees to pay three point
eight million dollars settlement for not hiring men as servers.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Did all men get a portion of that money? Because
I did not?
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Yeah? I didn't get anything.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
So this that one guy.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
If I go apply for a job, do I get
a cut of that today? How does that work?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
You ain't getting nothing? Trust me, I know how does work.
You try to get a job at Hooters. Oh, I
know how it worked. How does it work? It don't
catch your money. They don't give you no money. Today's
see murder will convicted a murder and you believe that.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
With a name like Sea Murder, I'm surprised because it
seems like the last guy that would do that, And
yet there it is right there in his name.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
That was this first or the second time?
Speaker 1 (07:12):
She had a hit song called down for My Ends? Hey?
What does N stand for?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
But I get this slot of idea.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
It's right there in the song title.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
This is nobody can tell? Ain't nobody to wait to
note about that?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
This is the only Sea Murder song we have in
our system.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
So if I'm not mistaken, Sea murder who refused to
use his real name in court because he wanted to
be known for murder. Got convicted of murder, and then
they overturned that conviction later and then retried him. Didn't
really seem to learn his lesson, and reconvicted him, and
now he served life in prison.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Now we ran into his brother at the airport, remember
master p Uh huh, And he was really excited to
meet me, and he wasn't as excited about meeting you guys.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
He really was excited to see you. He almost stopped walking,
that's right second, and then he just kept moving.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Now I looked into it the key and master P
stands for Percy, I think. But we still have no
idea what the end stands for. In the hit song
down for My.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Ends, huh, No way to know, no way to know
you Sure it's not n DS.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
No, it's just an aposters vs. Like he's referring to
a group of people as ends. Now, I didn't write
that song, so I don't know what it means.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Well, probably never know unless somebody wants to go to
jail and you know, interview them and ask him. Right now,
you've done it, You've gone to jail before and interviewed people.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Had that go Donna good.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Oh, I went to a women's prison, and what I
learned is that the women in prison, because they don't
have Jared's jewelers or BJ's pawnshops or Shaw's joy and
an effort to prove that they love each other, they're
willing to do some really degrading things in prison.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Were there are a lot of men at that prison
back then?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Back then, No, because it was Texas, they didn't have
the train anything that was huh more Jersey and Oregon.
But to your point, after they started allowing transgender inmates
into the women's prison in New Jersey, the pregnancy rate
for inmates just skyrock.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Well, nobody could have seen that coming.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Yeah, nobody knows how they all got pregnant either, because
we all agree that training women are still women, right
of course obviously.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
And they can get pregnant and do all the things
that real women can do.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Do you think that's why Keith and Nicole split up
because she never got pregnant?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Or maybe that's it, you know, and they had two kids? Oh,
so she could get pregnant, I guess so. Or did
he get maybe?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Yeah, and now he doesn't like the fact that she's
disrespecting him and his uterus, Man Uterus.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
That's what I ought to do. I always wanted to
have kids, and I never have time for you.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
To just go ahead. And you know what did we
learned yesterday that somebody with the powers, the witchcraft or something,
they can just think themselves pregnant.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
I heard that. Yeah, you know what I was saying.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Yesterday.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
The Democrats kept talking about how they wanted to shut
down the government, and I thought maybe when they said that,
they were trying to impregnate me.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Ooh yeah, watch out.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Honestly it worked better than Silla. So I was getting
really aroused by.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
It could turn very volatile if you move law enforcement
in there the wrong way and turn what is just
a bunch of people having fun watching cars burn into
a massive confrontation and altercation between officers and demonstrators.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Stay tuned for more Waltman Johnson.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Swedish criminal gangs are enlisting teenage girls to carry out
brutal assassinations and mame rivals in napalm bomb attacks and
gang ravaged Swedish cities.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
You lost me after hot Swedish girls I never said
they were hot. When you said I pictured them as
hot in my mind, well I didn't say they were,
but they are.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Girls as young as fifteen are being recruited on social
media to work as child assassins.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
In my mind they were eighteen.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
And they're not.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
No, and they're being given cash to complete killings before
spending the blood money on things like clothes and handbags.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Oh, basically, they hired hot young girls to lieu of me.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Nobody said they're hot.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I don't know where you're getting It was from trolls
me they are Why would you hire ugly women to
kill me? And they got to be able to get
close to them. They got to be able to get
demand to drop his you know, his god whatever he's dropped.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
To your point, though, if they were hot, why would
they have to take a job as an assassin.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
They don't have to, but they want money for clothes
and they're fifteen.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Yeah. Oh, good point.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Anyway, So as you know, Sweden is a Nordic nation
and I was once considered a haven of low crime.
They have been gripped by extreme gang violence.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
So what changed?
Speaker 1 (11:32):
What's different now? It turns out of his immigration.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Uh yeah, you gotta be careful about that who you
allow into your country. Luckily we're aware of how that
can work out.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Children have been used by gangs to commit crimes in
Sweden on an unprecedented scale, with the country this month
moving to reduce the age of criminal responsibility to.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Thirteen oh thirteen years of age, right exactly.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Yeah, they've noticed that there is a group of impoverished
migrants that are becoming mobsters, and they're seeking out young girls.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
And they're known as green women. And actually they do.
It's not all migrants.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
They do hire the blonde, typical Swedish girls. They're thought
to attract less suspicion when carrying out or aiding with
the assassinations.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Why are they called green women because of money? I
don't even know if Swedish money is green or not.
That's what I think of.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I don't get it either. Now they're promised quick cash.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
The bounties pay something like thirteen thousand euros offered for
a successful hit. Less risky tasks including mixing napalm to
help with the assassinations, can fetch you a few thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Huh. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
And so once these young girls get signed up they
carry out their gang bosses dirty work, assassinating relatives of
rival gangsters other targets, often without ever meeting the person
who is ordering the killing.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Well, of course, no, you don't. That's just a name
on a phone or a voice on the phone. You
don't know who it is.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
One girl named Olivia was caught on a closed circuit
TV casually delivering bags containing an explosive nicknamed a palm,
after being hired to build and deliver a firebarm for
an arson so they could attack a rival gang. The
seventeen year old was approached by a gang handler on
social media who offered her money and then told her
she must help.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
With the petrol bomb attack. Well, it all went down.
It was quite It's quite common there.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
We heard before about how they were having a hand
grenade epidemic at Sweden.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Right, it's so much crazier than I thought it was.
They also got up an AK forty seven epidemic over there.
These young girls, some of them apparently, are armed, and
they'll just spray lad Now that suns their enemies.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
That seems impossible, billy, You can't buy guns in Sweden.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
How do they manage that?
Speaker 4 (13:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
How would they get their hands on an AK forty seven.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Good question. I can't imagine there's a way, boy, I
don't know. I wish we could figure that out.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Well, if you are a Swedish teenage girl and you're
approached by a migrant about performing an assassination or doing
some kind of bombing, you tell them no.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
But also, if you're a person who should be careful
about that sort of thing, and you're approached by a
teenage girl, you should tell them to go away.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Yeah, you should tell them stop it. I am not interested.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
I'm as uninterested in you as Nicole Kidman is in
Keith Urban's Penis you get out of here?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Yeah? You hadn't heard that. It's not an unusual reference.
Now Nicole Kidman and her husband breaking up after nineteen
years of marriage. Wow, just switch.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
If Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban can't make it. If
they can't, who can, what chance to the.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Rest of us have? I know, you know, I'm I
was really hoping. Isn't it weird to think? Who is it?
Kurt Russell and Goldie Han still together after all these years?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
So they never got married because they never got married.
And that's something you guys really enjoy right.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Well, you know they didn't get the government involved, Isn't
it kind of weird how we do that? Like you'll
sleep with someone and realize you really like them. You
know that moment of clarity afterwards where you ask yourself,
do I even want this person to be here? And
in some cases people will say yes, and then weirdly enough,
from there they say, you know what we ought to do?
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Baby? This sex is so good. Baby, we should get
lawyers involved. Oh could? We should get judges and contracts
involved with all the government and let them oversee everything.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
If we ever want to break up, I want to
have a very painful argument with you in front of
a jury.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
You know.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
That's the kind of that's the kind of sex we're
having right now. Yeah, that sounds good?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Right Well, never has a lured me in, but I
know some of you guys fall for it.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I would like to get married again someday. Oh boy,
you know, I enjoyed it.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
I thought marriage was nice right up until it was well,
you know, it wasn't really my choice, but I enjoyed
being married. I think I like the idea of not
having to go on dates. Going on dates is kind
of a chore. I mean, it's fun at first, and
then it's like, uh, this year you meet some wildly
exciting people. Though, don't you not me?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
No, No, I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Oh I don't think you do.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
I've had a you know, it's been an experience. I
can't think of a more flattering way to explain it.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
In the meantime, I'm afraid we have a new Karen
in the world of sports. Who is it? You remember
the last Karen? She screamed at some guy until she
took his kids baseball away from him.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
It was at a Philadelphia Phillies game.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
You know how they are?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
What is Philly anyway?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
What they actually in a Florida? They were in Florida
or Philadelphia people?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
You know how they are?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Well, a new Karen in a world of sports now,
and she might be even worse than this Philly woman.
This Karen is a New York Giants fan. And I
don't know if you know. The Kansas City Chiefs played
the Giants just recently. This woman swiped Patrick Mahomes headband
right out of the hands of a little kid after
(16:49):
the Chiefs beat the Giants. This Karen and her man
then posted a video while they were leaving the game,
bragging about how Mahomes came right to her to hand
her the headband. But there's video and clearly shows he
was trying to hand the headband, the sweatband whatever to
(17:11):
the kid, who was wearing a Kansas City jersey. I
think seems likely anyway, he was a Kasay fan, he
was wearing a Karen was wearing a giant shirt. He
wasn't about to hand her a little souvenir from the game,
and she's not a kid, and I just reached out
and took it. After the Internet tore into her, she
(17:32):
posted a defiant video that really did no favors for her.
She admitted that maybe the headband was meant for the kid,
but she claimed she didn't know it at the time.
You know, she just reached out and just grabbed it.
Blamed this typical Karen, blamed everybody around her, everybody for
not speaking up and said this is good because it'll
(17:56):
help make that young boy tougher.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
And that way they said about the last kid at
the Phillies game.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Yeah, isn't it weird to think we've now had three
of these incidents this year? Where somebody was at a
stadium on a JumboTron and something on Savory happened and
it ruined their life.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
And they lie about it first, blatantly lie in the
videos shows that they're lying.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
First.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
There was that Coldplay concert, remember that, a perfect example
of the streisand effect. If that guy just sat there
and did nothing, nobody would have that would have never
got on the internet.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
That whole trying to hide from the camera is why
you got caught.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Yeah, and then of course the woman at the Phillies game. Yeah,
and now this maybe there should be some kind of
TV show where we get them all together and ask
them if they have any regrets.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Or I like to, Yeah, put them on an island somewhere,
and you know, last person standing gets to leave the island.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
What's it called love Island? Is that the thing that
they do?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
That's not the same, but it is a show.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
What are you talking about? Running Man? Is that what
you're talking to me? Yeah, let's do that.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Are we at a point now where we could have
Running Man? Like if enough people signed off on the waiver,
they'd agree.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
So sure, that's what that movie is. That Stephen kingbook
The Longest Walk or the something.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I thought it was called Running Man.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
No, that was also different, you know, like forty years later,
there's a kind of the same thing.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
And then there was Hunger Games. That's kind of the
same thing. That's kind of the same thing.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
I feel like i'd be good at that Hunger Games.
Like if you put me in a place and I
had to hide in the bushes and kill a guy
and then win a prize.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I could do that. You get a bullet arrow too, Yeah, yeah,
I like that. If they gave me a pot and arrow,
I could definitely do it. Could you make one yourself?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Though?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Okay, so that's the question, right, that's the million Probably not.
I don't think I could make one.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Probably not.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
They're not even gonna have a Walmart in there or anything.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Yeah, if then you might be able to make the bull,
But would you be able to make the string? If
there's an academy sports, I could figure it out. Oh yeah,
they'd be pretty cool. Sure, I just go to the
gun department. You know.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Hunger Games is easy.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
To understand, is I'm not trapped in here with you.
If you're trapped in here.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
With me, Stay tuned for more. Waltman Johnson
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Cardiac Cowboys
The heart was always off-limits to surgeons. Cutting into it spelled instant death for the patient. That is, until a ragtag group of doctors scattered across the Midwest and Texas decided to throw out the rule book. Working in makeshift laboratories and home garages, using medical devices made from scavenged machine parts and beer tubes, these men and women invented the field of open heart surgery. Odds are, someone you know is alive because of them. So why has history left them behind? Presented by Chris Pine, CARDIAC COWBOYS tells the gripping true story behind the birth of heart surgery, and the young, Greatest Generation doctors who made it happen. For years, they competed and feuded, racing to be the first, the best, and the most prolific. Some appeared on the cover of Time Magazine, operated on kings and advised presidents. Others ended up disgraced, penniless, and convicted of felonies. Together, they ignited a revolution in medicine, and changed the world.