Navy's 250th Birthday - MON 9.1

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
People are asking if this is Columbus dayteen music. This

(00:03):
was actually Christopher Columbus's favorite band.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
He loved this. He loved how Helmet would merge together
punk with metal. Listen to this, so who doesn't. Yeah,
that's the best part right there with that kicks in.
Put me down for who doesn't. I always try to,
Like when I'm getting warmed up at the gym and
I'm about to start doing some reps, I always wait
till right then so I could do my first drap.
I'm like, yeah, that's but not now, No, not now.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Because we don't want to get in the way of
the dual dueling beauties during the birthday extravaganza sock Tiffany
Trump and Alexandria and Lenny Bruce.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
No, these are the dueling beauties. Yeah, he's not a beauty.
Lenny Bruce was important to free speech. He was a
vile degenerate. But he's not a beauty. But kind of
like what's his name, Larry Flynt.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
He's just gonna try one more time, see if I
can drill through that cap of Kinney's skull.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Not a not a beauty, but you're you're a gay guy.
Wouldn't you prefer.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
Tiffany Trump thirty to Don's daughter by the way, with
Marla and AOC New York congresswoman thirty and maybe the
next president of the United States.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Oh rah, she's.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Thirty six, more than old enough to run for president.
Also Ashanti remember her a shanty not a fan? Forty
five years old? Sasha Baron Cohen? Was he Barrett or Ali?

Speaker 2 (01:24):
G for you?

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Here's Bruno, Oh god, fifty Ford, Nancy Kerrigan, she's fifty six.
Tisha Campbell, who was you know? Gina on Martin, Martin's wife,
fifty seven years old.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
Sure she looked good. Jerry Rice is sixty three. I've
heard of him.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Marie Osmond sixty six. John Ford Kohley who most people
don't remember England Dad and john Ford anyway, seventy seven
years old. Sammy Hagar most people probably do call him
seventy eight. Wow, that guy's I mean, I haven't seen
him lately, but within the last couple of years he

(02:08):
was still in his mid to late seventies.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
I'm starting to think all those sex drugs in rock
and roll iron't as bad for your health as day Clay.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
It really seemed to be good for him, Sammy seventy
eight todays he's still the Red Rocker. Yes he is,
Demom Wilson. You knew him as Lamont, that big dummy
on Sanford and Son.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
Seventy nine years old.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Now Paul Simon, the weak or half obviously of Simon
and Garfuncle.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, not as good as Yeah, obviously he's eighty four
and no longer with us. This is sad.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
John Travolta's wife, Kelly Preston born in this state nineteen
sixty two, should still be alive, but she's been gone
rest in five years now. Margaret Thatcher from you know England.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
The Iron Lady. Not to be confused with Margaret Singer.
He's not that cool. And then Lenny Bruce, that guy.
Then you get to morals.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
It's just your morals on the same day, not even
morals the more as because we got the Romans right.
We're all Romans and we're all correct. We've got a
good government we have. Yeah, a whole judicial system is
really an art form scope. Were beautiful people. Now there's
one thought he told jokes Roman society that is correct.
This group is against everything that's good. It's this group

(03:18):
are called.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Christians comedian What do we do with the Christians?

Speaker 3 (03:21):
Only one thing that is correct and moral to do them?
Throw them to the lions. Oh no, that as rough
as segregation gets lion fressing that. Yeah, I'd rather go
schlepped away from my lunch.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Countra anything, but I'm with her, I gotta tell you. Yeah,
no respect at all, you know, something like that. Jokes
were different.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
Background. Today is Columbus Day, National our Native American Day.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Indigenous People's Day, or anything else you want to make up.
It's also National eminem Day. And that doesn't say plane
or if you go peanut almond, peanut butter, get you
some eminems.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, no broad Day, ladies, But mainly it's Columbus Day
and no broad Day. A national M and M Day
and Canadian Thanksgiving take a second seat, sorry kids. And
now today in history, proudly brought.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
To you by proudly brought to you by a fine
sponsor of the Walter Johnson program known as law Tigers.
Perhaps you've heard of them, sup. In the year fifty
four a d. The Roman emperor at the time, Claudius,
was murdered by his very own wife, Agrippina. No, it

(04:27):
didn't mean what you think it means. First, she poisoned
him with mushrooms and that didn't really work so well.
She tickled the back of his throat with a poison feather.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Can you do that?

Speaker 1 (04:36):
And then gave him a poison enema, and yet he lived.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
She gave him an anima, a.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
Poison inema, and they were really kinky, back and antre.
They were into anima, they were into everything. Yeah, So
finally he kept surviving the poison, so she smothered him
with a pillow.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
Apparently wasn't very stout. Promo cod w Jay at low
Tiger's dot com. Hey, And on this day, in seventeen
seventy five, the Continental Congress authorizes the first American Naval Force.
How do you like that? I like it? And today,
in seventy ninety two, the White House cornerstone was laid.
And then several years later, Bill Clinton, well you finished that. Today.

(05:17):
In nineteen oh three, Boston beats Pittsburgh in the very
first World Series. It happened today. How about that? The
first ever World Series happened today today. In nineteen oh four,
Freud's interpretation of Dreams was published. Do you remember your dreams? Mister?
Kenneth not as as often as I'd like. Do you
think they mean something? I do?

Speaker 1 (05:34):
They said, if you really remember your dream, it wasn't
a dream, it was a premonition.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
Much different. Today. In nineteen forty three, Italy declares war
on the Germans. How'd that work out? Well? Apparently in
the Germany lost in the end. But it was it
wasn't on Christopher Columbus No day. It wasn't really because
of Italy though, But it's complicentd.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
The didn't know it was Christopher Columbus Day when they
declared war on Germany. Was it?

Speaker 2 (05:57):
Were they feeling sassy that day? No? In fact, the
Italians usually give up. They're kind of famous for that,
like France or anything. But still yeah. Today, in nineteen
sixty seven, the American Basketball Association debuts with its colorful ball.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
It was ABA so they couldn't go with a regular,
you know, like leather colored balls, so they had to
have a multicolored ball.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
That wasn't it red, white, and blue? Yeah? Yeah, something
like that. Is that why the ball's orange? It's supposed
to look like leather, Yeah, because it's made of rubber.
It's not leather. I don't know. What it is today
in nineteen seventy three, they're rolling still no no back up,
back up? All right, squeeze it and what do you
want to say?

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Nineteen seventy two, on this day, the airplane carrying Uruguay's
rugby team crashed in the Andes Mountains. After about ten days,
they ran out of food. I think they were eating
cheese nips and you know, any of those little snacks
on the airplane. And they heard on a portable radio
they were getting really fuzzy reception. They had hurt that

(06:59):
after ten days they'd called off the rescue. They figured
they were never going to find them.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
That sucks.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
The sixteen survivors were pretty bummed out that they'd heard
the rescue was off, so they decided to start eating
the frozen corpses of their companions.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
Wow, and they didn't even have fire, you know.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
I mean, it's just snow and ice everywhere you looked,
So it's like sushi kind of. The movie Alive came
out in nineteen ninety three based on their ordeal. They
lived for sixty nine days before they were rescued. I
could have done it, but you're still not supposed to

(07:39):
eat people unless you really absolutely have to.

Speaker 2 (07:42):
You ever see this. We looked this up over the weekend.
The longest somebody lived without food was three hundred days.
Now he did it with water, vitamins. What was the
other thing? He had, wheat paste or something like that,
So I wouldn't considered food. That's what I thought. I
was like, it still sounds like he cheated, That's what
I said. Yeah. Anyway, Today, in nineteen seventy three, the
Rolling Stone's LP goats Head Soup was released. It was
number one recorded in Jamaica, hence the title. And today,

(08:04):
in two thousand and six, Six Flags of Gurnee technically
called Six Flags Great America held a live cockroa cheating contest.
Oh God, God no.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Oh, more trouble from South America on this date, But
it was actually turned out good.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Ten. It was fifteen years.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
Ago now that those thirty three Chilean miners were rescued
after being trapped in a mine for again, how many days?
Sixty nine sixty nine? What does it mean? What is
going on in South America with their trouble?

Speaker 2 (08:36):
Well, what does it mean? That is awfully bizarre, isn't it.
I'm sure it means something. Yeah, it really does. Okay,
And then finally we'll leave you with this one. On
this day in twenty twenty one, William Shatner goes to space.
Yeah was it life imitating art? It was, wasn't it?
He was not? I don't know.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
He said he was not the same after he came
back from space. Well, even though he'd spent a career
pretending to go to space, apparently actually doing it's different.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
What do you make of that he wasn't the same
after going there? Like he talked about.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
I don't remember exactly his explanation for it, but it
was very dramatic.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
Whatever it was.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Yeah, that's the kind of god he is. Yeah, that's
my Captain Kirk impression.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Well, anyway, here's Captain Kirk back my bags.

Speaker 4 (09:23):
Last night, pretty flying, zero hour, nine am, and I'm
going to be high.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
Missed the Earth. So we have to explain this. Back
in the nineteen sixties, very good, is it? William Shiner
was very popular, very popular, but he couldn't sing, but
he could do drugs, and somebody convinced him he should
do music. While he was on drugs. He felt like
he could perform. Was this the seventies? I think yeah,
it was the nineteen seventies. They said, William, you know

(10:05):
what you want to do? Smoke and just read the
lyrics to a popular Elton john song, Brilliant.

Speaker 3 (10:12):
Fourteen ninety two, Christopher Columbus and eighty eight men landed
on Sun Salvador for the first glimpse of the Americas.
He was Italian.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
I had spent time in Portugal.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
Walton and Johnson Radio Network. All right, so today is
the two hundred and fiftieth birthday of the Navy, which
is why you can now buy your pajama pants at
Really Old Navy. That's the new store. Really Old Navy
did it October thirteenth. US Navy celebrates it's birth.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
That one of the jokes you told in Waco as
pass We can't into comedy show now.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
The things we said at the show are much dirtier
than that. Yeah, I would hope though, No, but we
do love the Navy. We appreciate you. Did y'all say
what they call it? That just went blank? On the show?
A game Day College game Day only ESPA. This weekend.
They was in Eugene, organ home of the Ducks. They
naturally assumed the Ducks will win because they almost always

(11:07):
do it home.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
They didn't, but real early in the morning, like six
o'clock Organ time, in the in the dark of the
early morning hours. The crew was out there doing the thing,
and all the kids probably stayed up all night to
get up front and getting that crowd because they had
a massive crowd of Duck fans, you know, out there screaming, hollering,
waving signs, doing what they do. And at that maniac

(11:29):
that's on the show now, since they got rid of
the old man that used to bring all the attention,
they got that young Pat mcafeeny guy and McAfee that's
that's him.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
And so he.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
Knowing that they filmed that movie Animal House on the
campus there in Eugene, Organ that's right, University of Organ,
he led the crowd in a little bit of the
Animal House, you know, like makes you want to shout
and do all that stuff. He's standing up in a
lot of that in the chair and he's jumping up
and down and he making you won't a shout and

(12:01):
then he get it in lower down get and then
he got a little.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
Bit loud, a little bit loud, crazy, losing his.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
Mind and go and there at the very end, when
it was all over, he said, oh, do y'all mind
if we dance with your dates?

Speaker 2 (12:17):
That was the best part of that whole movie, to
meet you mind if we danced with your dates?

Speaker 1 (12:21):
And they were black guys and the white guys and
the white dudes were like, no, I'll go out of
here and have all the white ladies you want.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
And what did the white ladies think.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
I think they enjoyed it, actually, sure, yeah, some of
them took to it more than others.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
Well, it is day to remember that. And of course
it's also data. Remember Christopher Columbus when he arrived at
fourteen ninety two in the New World. He said, Hi,
I'm Christopher Columbus from Spain, didn't he say? Ola? And
the person he met said, I'm Joe Biden from Delaware. Yeah, hey,
join me, And that's how the story goes. And then
did somebody eat his uncle at that point? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (12:54):
There was Now that happened at the plane crash down
in the andes they that's when they ate Joe Biden.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Du Well, he still gotta be careful because cannibalism is
so common nowadays. It is well with everybody eating human
flesh and everything. You know, Well, there were not sticklers
for it like we used to be.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
You know, everybody was like, oh cannibalism, Oh that's awful,
Now can I like everything else?

Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yeah, we just kind of let everybody do their own thing. Well,
you know, this is the word gets a little tricky
here because apparently the environmentalists are for it. They think
it's great. They say, you know, go ahead and eat
human flesh. It's very carbon friendly. If I'm not mistaken. Yeah, hey,
there's this British politician and he has a very British name.
His name is Jeevoon Sondhair Sondhaire, so British, and he

(13:37):
is asking the county council in his community to remove
the British flags from their government building so their residences
will feel more.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
Comfortable the new residents you mean, yeah, exactly, the more
recent arrivals.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, yeah, it makes perfect sense. He says, it's time
to take down the British flag. It's hard to take
down the love post flags.

Speaker 5 (13:56):
I've here on the way there are flags hagging for
almost every single lab post.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
You know, I don't know it bothers me more the
fact that he hates his country, or the fact that
he needs to blow his nose.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Yeah, it's a little adrovating because when you hear that,
then you makes you want to do yours, don't it.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
Yeah, some guy talking with.

Speaker 5 (14:15):
My wife wore that flag which he served in the
British Army. I see flags flag proudly from flag poles
for public buildings. I see it where they're good football
team plays and I don't think about those flags. That's
just that it's quite nice. And yet here I am

(14:35):
with flags flag for almost every single lab post. They're
getting a bit tatty.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
The cable ties. They didn't like it. He's offended that
there's British flags everywhere. You know, it's weird.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
I don't know if you'll know this, but almost everybody
in England, because I've seen it with the actors and
the musicians and stuff. They don't have to talk like that.
The actors from England that come over here and play
like regular real good you know, rolls like Americans. Sure, yeah,
they speak regular English just like we do. They speak American,
not that British nonsense. They cannot. They have the ability

(15:10):
to not talk with that accent. Then why don't they
give that up?

Speaker 2 (15:17):
That actually, you raised a great point, Billy ed. If
you didn't have to talk like that, you know, all
like homo or whatever, why would you do it? You know,
That's all I'm telling you, know, all you British people
with your silly British accent out like, aren't you guys embarrassed? No,
well apparently not. According to scientists, some dogs show addictive
like behaviors towards their toys. I wonder if they feel

(15:37):
the same way about sniffing butts. I think they do. Yeah,
my dog can't be trusted around a ball. What do
you mean trusted? He loses his mind like a crackhead,
like they're trying to hump it. He just can't stop.
He loses full control of his body and every function. Wow. Yeah,
but Melton's not good around balls. When I'm at another

(15:58):
person's house, he misses his own. That's possible. Yeah, I
mean we didn't know. You're right to your point, Yeah,
I mean that that had to mean something. Whenever Milton
is around a toy ball, like at someone else's house,
it just it's like giving meth to a junkie. It
doesn't you know, know how to act right. It's very
sad anyway, so that's the thing. Today, they're studying the
addictive personality of dogs because we've solved all the other problems.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
Yeah, all the priorities have been taken care of.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
So that's that's where we are now. Meanwhile, the French
post office, like for the Nation of France, has unveiled
a croissant scented stamp. Ooh, I'm interested. I was kind
of surprised by this because I figured the national smell
of France would be body odor.

Speaker 1 (16:38):
Yeah, underarm, Yeah, just lean into that deep well, the
buttery cross hoole. Oh, that is a marvelous thing, flaky
and oh so good.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
I'll tell you what though, mister Kenneth. When I was
at the burning Man Festival this summer, the dirtiest people there,
and it wasn't even close, were the French. They were filthy,
they were none of them had shoes on. They were
they wouldn't brush their teeth for days. You could always
tell when you were near a Frenchman. They just smell
like cigarettes and body odor and well, I'm gonna have
to take your word for that. Absolutely nasty, nasty, I

(17:10):
gotta tell you, I don't know which grossed me out
more the British people's teeth or everything the French people have.
That's a close one right there. I know I wish
that those countries were more evolved like ours. In fact,
I was surprised by this. In England and in Europe
in general, they're not launching any satellites. They've had no
GDP growth as of late. Europe really depends heavily on

(17:32):
our economy or they would just fall apart. They're not
doing anything there. I think it's the socialism that might
have something to do with it.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
Everybody's waiting for somebody else to do the work, and
they'll just reap the rewards.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
That's how it works. I know sometimes Americans are a
little touchy about aligning ourselves with Russia or China or India,
but at least those countries work hard, right, Like, what's
Europe doing? You guys want to be allies with Germany?

Speaker 1 (17:57):
Why?

Speaker 2 (17:58):
Little miss? Yeah? What's so great about the Germans? Yuck?

Speaker 4 (18:01):
Ugh?

Speaker 2 (18:02):
In the French Disgusting.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
Listener, Jim and fly elsays, maybe you could play Goodbye
Columbus from that nineteen sixty nine movie good Bye Columbus.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
So that's something to look forward to. They had a
song called good a movie called Goodbye. I didn't know
about any You just learned that. Yeah, I just learned
about all of it right now in this exact moment. Well,
I'm excited to learn more. I think that's great. Hey, Billyeah,
dust off that old forty five for me. Let's put
this on.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
Oh, give me the records you're welsh to. Just got
a pistola in your face.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
This sounds like the kind of music you hear when
you're at Epcot Center and you're on one of the
old rides that they haven't torn down yet. I'm sure
they're waiting for it to just collapse on its own. Boy,
what is Yes? I know you guys always say that
everything used to be better, but this wasn't better, not
not quite everything.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
Something good was happening about the same time that was out,
but we don't know what it was.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
Well, this was nineteen sixty nine. Yeah, this isn't very
good at all, you guys. That song is called Goodbye Columbus. Okay.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Also email from Billy t He says, why do people
write emails into your show to pick on you?

Speaker 2 (19:17):
Kenny?

Speaker 1 (19:18):
Because if I had to rank everybody on the Walton
Johnson Show, you would definitely be in the top ten thanks,
or at least pretty close.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
Wow. Yeah, So a little pat on the butt to you,
how about that? That's great? So I got Billy T
on my side. You got that go on? You know
what it is, Billy T. You know how everybody will
sometimes make fun of like the really cool, attractive, sexy, funny, popular,
tall hanging some kid at school. Well, that's what I'm
dealing with over here. That's what you're up to. Yeah sure, yeah,

(19:47):
if you forget it was Columbus State, stay tuned for
more Walton and Johnson