Never Mess With Kennys Zen - FRI 9.2

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
John Candy. I like me. There's a he likes you.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
No, there's gonna be a John Candy documentary coming out
on Amazon Prime.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Oh, I like me. As the title.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Colin Hanks is the director and John Candy fan Ryan Reynolds.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
I guess produced it. So Tom Hanks can't. But Bill
Murray involved in this as well. Oh yeah, all your
favorite people.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
I mean just it's a list of like all your
favorite Saturday Night Live cast members from back in the day,
people from mel Brooks movies. I mean, some really funny people.
Dan Aykroight obviously it looks great. I can't wait to
go see it. And then McCaulay Culkin's in it because
they were in Oh yeah, yeah, a lot of great people.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
That's a documentary I need to check out. In that
you didn't say what they were in.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
They were in Home Alone, But John Candy, McAuley Culkin
and John Candy were in Home Alone.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Right, I was thinking of that one where John Candy.
It wasn't mcaulay culkin though he had the other kids
in there where he played oh Uncle Buck. Yeah, also
very clever little movie was was. Oh, I guess you're right.
He was in Uncle Buck was it. McCaulay Culkin was
in Uncle Boss.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yeah, then I was right. I wasn't sure.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
McCauley Culkin was in it. Gabby Hoffman was in it, Amy,
Amy Madigan, Laurie Metcalf you remember her, Oh yeah. And
then of course the cast a Home Alone. Well, of
course John Canty wasn't even the star at Home Alone,
but he was one of the best parts. Hmm.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
It's fun. Definitely gonna have to watch that documentary.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
So besides that news going on, I just saw some
cute little headlines. Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson did a great job,
by the way. He has come up with a new
plan because they've got a bit of a budget deficit there.
Imagine that turns out their budget deficit is a little
over a billion dollars. And he doesn't think he's gonna

(01:52):
win the power Ball, which of course, if he did,
he would donate it all to the city, and it
obviously wouldn't be enough. Yeah, because you know, take the lumps,
you don't get a billion dollars. But Mayor Brandon of
Chicago has come up with this totally brand new idea.
I know, why don't we just tax the rich?

Speaker 1 (02:12):
More. Yeah, sure, he's boss, one of the richest people
in politics.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, since you brought it up, Yeah, And apparently there's
this thing in Chicago where if you don't like the
taxes in the city there, you could just move up
to the north suburbs.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
And I'll bet people do, especially the rich.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Sure, and interestingly enough, that's where they filmed the movie
Home Alone. That house, which is worth millions of dollars,
is right over the city line, so that you can
avoid having to pay inner city taxes.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
It seems like, and I'm just basing this on what
I've seen just lately today, people don't they're not learning
from their mistakes that will come out with the tax
the rich plan hasn't worked yet. They've they've already taxed
the rich way beyond where they're taxing everyone else, and
they are still wasting the money. The other fun little

(03:02):
headline this morning was the city of Denver is going
to raise their minimum wage next year to nineteen dollars
and twenty nine cents an hour. What's that going to
do to well, places like fast food restaurants in Denver
who pay minimum wage.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
Well, there is some good news.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
You're not gonna have to worry about people spitting in
your cheeseburgers after this.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
No, because the robots will probably be making all your
food if you're lucky, right, Or they'll just close one
or the other. Either fire half their staff and pay
the rest twice as much sure, or they'll put the
robots in charge and let them do it. They don't
have to, you know, they don't have to put up
with them begging for more money, or like you said, they'll.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Just go out of business.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
The technology to have a machine make a cheeseburger for
you has existed since way before AI was convenient and affordable.
Now that everybody can get AI, I got to think
telling this thing.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
I want half a tomato. You could have oddly specific instructions.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Sickles, but I want I'm all stacked up together right
instead of spread evenly across the bun.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
I want them to spell out.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
A word or whether it's like it's you know, it's
gonna be able to do that alphabet soup without even effort.
It's gonna do it effortless, and it won't spit in
your food. It's not gonna take the bun and wipe
its ass crack because it was mad at you for
your oddly specific order.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Did you see the thing online? There was this.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
AI video going around where a guy asked his AI
software count to a million, and he asked a woman
the woman voice to do it, and she wouldn't do it. Then,
and then he asked a man voice to do it,
and it would do it. And I can't believe it's
that stupid.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
But hey, honey, I'm gonna need you to count to
one million for me. Oh wow, counting to one million
would definitely take a bit of time. I appreciate the humor, though.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
Let's just say I can do a lot of things,
but I might not put you through that endless Well,
well I don't.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
You can put me through it.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
I got nothing but time.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
I'll say you the marathon, but I'm always here for
the fun requests.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
If I if I switch this to a male voice,
would it be yap and as much as you or
would it just count?

Speaker 3 (05:13):
Well, if you switched over to a male voice, it
would still have the same me behind it, so you'd
get pretty much the same level.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Let's see about that. Let's see about that. It's the voice,
Let's see about that. Hello, I doubt it. Hey, I'm
ready to hit the high there. I just want to
show nice to meet. I just want to share. Hey,
I need you to count a one million for me.
Absolutely I can do that. That here we go one two, three, four.
But I tell you we don't.

Speaker 3 (05:39):
We don't want to get all the way to the
I think you know you know where that's going. It's
it's not a big secret, but the fact that he
was willing to do it.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Man, you gotta admit AI is really similar to real
humanity very much.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
It's almost like the real thing. Email just came in
within formation. I can't verify it, but it's sounds hopeful.
That said that, John Candy's son, I suppose they're talking
about Christopher will be in space Balls too, Bro, I
don't think he really looks that much like John Candy.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Kinda that depends on which picture looking at.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
Who's the mom I don't know. I gotta know that.
I need to know before I could decide if he
could be in a Mel Brooks movie.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
John Candy also has a daughter, Jennifer Candy. You know,
if she was a stripper, she could have been Candy
Candy Candy, Jennifer Candy, saw boy. You know, it's unfortunate
about that. She looks a lot like her dad.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
She looks more like that than the sun does. So
poor thing. But hey, be nice. I know it's not
look I love her. Maybe she's funny.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
Man. I grew up watching John Candy movies. I couldn't
get enough of them. There used to be a TV
show on Saturday Morning. Here's one for the real Troops.
There real are no, there was no, there's not. Actually
there's TV shows on Saturday morning. I know there are no.
They used to have Saturday Morning cartoons, Billy, Yeah, No,
they don't have that. But there was a thing Saturday
Morning called Camp Candy, in which they probably did one

(07:05):
season of this. You had to wake up very early
to watch it. I bet most people don't even remember it.
And for some reason, I can sing every word of
the theme song. John Candy was a camp counselor. It
was a little bit like Bill Murray's Meatballs. The Moonlight,
the tree Light, the bark, the bees Light, Another summer
made memories at Camp Candy.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
I think this is John Candy's wife, Rosemary.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
No, that's Molly Shannon. That's also but she why she
pictured in the story. That's wrong. I know. That's what
I'm alost wondering. I love Molly Shannon. That's definitely Molly.
John married Rosemary in nineteen seventy nine. Rosemary Candy. What
did she look like?

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah? They do kind of look like I could see
why the computer, why the Internet be mad?

Speaker 1 (07:50):
I think the internet missed it a little bit. Good
for John Candy, definitely.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
What's that? What's the phrase? Billy had out kicked his
coverage there? Yeah, yeah, she's kind of cute. She kind
of looks like a fa actually, but anyway, Oh, there's
Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, he produced it. Yeah, but look, no, no,
I get it. He's handsome. But that's not why you're
watching the John Candy documentary. You're watching it to get

(08:14):
Bill Murray's commentary on what it was like to do
cocaine with a morbidly obese Mann.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Walton and Johnson Radio Network.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Man, I gotta tell you, I had a lot of
fun this morning. It's been this whole week's been great.
We ought to do this four day work week thing
every day.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
I know it's very right, it's a lot, but we're
willing to work that hard for you. The Walter Johnson listeners,
you deserve it. This weekend it's going to be all
about rewiring your brain. Rewire your brain. Did you know
that music rewires your brain?

Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (08:52):
I did. Travel, reading, sunlight, hugging, laughing, stretching.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
Sometimes I read while listening to music in the sun.
You do that, That's why my brain works like it does.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Phone didn't. Don't do that.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Phone detoxing. That's a good way to Some people just
need to put their phone down. And of course the
national mourning.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
I'm assuming the flags are at half masked today, well
everywhere because of Georgio Romani, right, I'm sure you know.
Georgio Armani, the legend and the fashion world, died at
the age of ninety one. Flags were at half masked. Well,
maybe this is why they still are, because I noticed
yesterday driving up and down the streets of Houston a

(09:34):
lot of the flags and businesses. And the President ordered
that last week because of the victims of the Minnesota shooting.
Huh so the But they were supposed to be half
massed just up until the end of August, you know,
thirty first. But some people are lazy, I guess, and
they just leave them there. So we'll just assume that's

(09:55):
for Harmani and be done with it.

Speaker 2 (09:58):
Trump typically wears suits Italian luxury brand Brioni, but he's
nice also known to wear American made suits from Martin Greenfield.
Who Martin Greenfield is his name? Uh huh Yeah, apparently
he's a Brooklyn based custom clothier clothier clothier, that's a
word I never heard of. That also makes suits for

(10:19):
Obama and Colon Powell. So, you know, anyway, I gotta
think at the end of the day here, HARMANI is
not a Trump guy and vice versa.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
What anything.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
I don't think he's opposed to it. Perhaps so he
just everybody has. You know, they pick a favorite. You know,
you'd like a particular kind of synthesizer or something. Oh no,
you like them all, don't you.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
No, I don't like them all. So no, forgive me.

Speaker 4 (10:42):
No.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
Some of them are not good at all. Some of
them are poorly made, crappy clone knockoffs. I like the
real thing, man, I like authentic. Yeah, you know, we
we deserve the.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
Best around here. This is the Walton and Johnson Show.
That's how at work.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
You know, We're not showing up with some cheap Mexican
made synthesizers. No, we want the good stuff, man, you know,
lay it down, slap it up, rub it down. How
does that go?

Speaker 1 (11:04):
Rub it down? Yeah? That because they laid down breakdown
boarding on the host out of town? Am I right?
Hell yeah? Real deal?

Speaker 2 (11:09):
Holyfield every day, man, I gotta keep it downtown, Julie Brown.

Speaker 4 (11:12):
Right?

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Oh does this sound as cool when I talk that way? No?

Speaker 3 (11:15):
I just didn't really have a punch to it half
halfway to cool. Bring it up from the diaphragm like
like you know, like that I be in the diaphragm. No, no, No,
it doesn't sound right when I do it. I don't know.
I don't have it.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
I don't have the gift of gab like you do. Mister. Oh, well,
you know none of us really have that gift. No,
well other than him, that's probably true.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
Uh okay, Well, with all that being said, we only
have a little bit of time here today on your
favorite morning show, so it's probably a good time as
ever to tell you new study finds you should have
steak tonight. Animal protein has been linked to lower cancer
deaths and risk in a new study. This is great news.
I eat a lot of red meat. I'm shoving meat
in my mouth all the time. A new study of

(11:56):
nearly sixteen thousand American adults found no link between animal
protein intake and higher death risk from cancer, heart disease,
or any other kind of problem Like that. Animal protein
showed a modest protective effect against cancer deaths. I'm gonna
go ahead and say, eat more meat. Okay then, And
why wouldn't you want to? I never understood. After millions
of years or thousands, or however long human's been around for,

(12:19):
we've been eating the same stuff, and now all of
a sudden, we're supposed to be leave. Eggs and steak
are bad for you. Your body has evolved to want that.
That's not like a new food. It's this new processed
crap that's bad for you. It's fake cheeseburgers, what morning
Star products tofurky?

Speaker 1 (12:36):
That's what's not good for you. Do that.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
Your body wants real meat. It doesn't want the fake stuff.
Plant protein showed no survival benefit in this data set,
despite previous studies suggesting advantages.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
What does that mean? I don't know. Me Eat meat.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
That's what I'm taking from this. Eat meat, Eat meat,
meat meat.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
You want to hit the tee on that. Yeah, you know,
you know, when it comes to food, you can't beat
your meat, you know. Oh no.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Also, using a cell phone while on the toilet may
lead to problems.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
Higher risk of hemorrhoids. Billy d is all right, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
But who among us isn't looking at our phone when
we're stuck on the toilet for a few minutes.

Speaker 3 (13:11):
Until they got these little smartphones we can carry around
with you everywhere, it was everybody men. I don't know
what women did when they were in there. Just hover
A women will tell you, and I mean I've heard
it from more than a few. They don't touch the
seat unless they're home.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
You know. That must be from all the yoga out
and about. Yeah, they got really good strong legs, leg muscles.
They hover above the seat. I PLoP right down on it,
bad boy.

Speaker 3 (13:36):
I don't care where I am in And if you
didn't have the phone, then all you had to do
to kill time was clean out your wallet.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
I like to wipe it off.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
I like to wipe even if the toilet seats, even
though it's already even if it's clean and dry, I
still like to just get some toilet paper, rub the
seat down, make sure, there's nothing there that I can't see.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Then I sit down.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
I would think the opposite would be true about the
hemorrhoid thing. Isn't hemorrhoids? Or is it caused by four?
Sing it right?

Speaker 1 (14:00):
Well?

Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yeah, but if you sit there too long, I think
you know, gravity and the pressure from the inside of
your just you shouldn't.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
You shouldn't Donal donald on the toilet. No, what if
I'm having a genius idea. What if I'm in the
middle of writing a funny bit for the show.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
What if you're just hiding from the the old lady
or the keyge man? Ten years of my life, bro
fail me about me? About it? Kids? No, but the
other thing, the other Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
Yeah, Sometimes that's the only place you got And then
they want to start talking to you through the door.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
Ah No, I hate that.

Speaker 3 (14:34):
Oh my god, it makes you want to come out
there and just get a get a handful.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
I hate when people do it here at the office too.
I'm in the thing right with the door shut. This
is my private time. Just give me two or three
minutes alone in here, so I could, you know, concentrate.
How I got to go to zen chi whatever they
call it? What do they call it in? You know,
I gotta find my my zen right sure, whatever it is,
I just you know, I gotta find like I want
to center your chie Yeah, I gotta see what you're doing. Yeah, exactly,

(14:59):
And then I could flush and get out of there.
You know, I don't want someone talking to me.

Speaker 1 (15:03):
Cunny.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
You notice there's something wrong with the printer copy paper
that I don't care right now?

Speaker 1 (15:07):
How did they know? Is is you in there? Because I
walked in and shut the door and they started talking
to it and there. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:13):
Well, there's one guy here at the radio station linger
you know, in the bathroom. I know people did linger
in the meals room. I get suspicious.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
I'm with you. And then there's one guy that works here.

Speaker 2 (15:24):
He makes a lot of noise when he's in the toilet,
you know, the one he plays, and to cover it up,
he'll take his phone and he'll play music out of it.
Like we can hear you. We just also hear music,
which makes it even weirder. You're in there groaning and
moaning while in the background I can hear like Eddie
money Shaken or whatever. It's not miscovering it up, it's
just making it right. It's just stranger. You're in there,

(15:48):
like we hear you, buddy. Pro All the Eddie money
in the world isn't going to cover up the sound
of that, no way.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
You know you don't have.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
You know what I would do today if I was
a fan of this radio show or just a casual listener,
I would what would you do? Well, in addition to
going to Wheelchairs for Warriors dot org or any of
the Walton and Johnson or Kenny Webster's social media accounts, Well,
I mean, that'd be about it. I'd click the link
there and I'd either make a donation or I'd purchase
tickets to our stand up comedy show Sunday, October fifth

(16:22):
at Badass.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
You're not brewing company.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
If you donated so much money that you don't have
any left for buying stuff, don't worry. The Walton Johnson
smartphone app is free. You can always get that even
when you donated your last dime, So you know, give
what you can and then give a little more.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
Man, that's a great idea, you know. I like that idea.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
And while we're on that topic there, you know what
our buddy John used to always say, have forget boys, eat.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
It every day. Hey again, you've reached the end of
the Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you. That means
you listened all the way to the end. Does it
mean we're going away now never to be heard again.

Speaker 4 (16:58):
No, no, no, there will be a new show tomorrow.
Oh oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or we're
off work. But as always, you could go to waltonand
Johnson dot com and you could find all kinds of
cool stuff there. Our news blog, links to our social
media accounts. Believe it or not, our personal lives are
very boring. If you comment on our social media pages,
we might reply.

Speaker 1 (17:16):
Yeah, chances are we're just sitting around waiting to hear
from you. Yeah, so, what's the big deal? Go to
Walton Johnson dot com today. I'm told there's a store.
Oh yes, we do have a lovely store and you
could buy things there. Walton Johnson dot com. What's not
to love