Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I assume everybody is joining me and doing the Thriller dance,
and wherever they happen to you, you do it at
your desk or in your car or wherever.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Yeah, where do we stand on that? If you know
all the choreography to Thriller?
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I don't know all.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I just know this part where you just do your
hands like you're a monster. You go up and down
like that.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
What about the part where you squat and then you clap?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
That looks that looks true. Yeah, you gotta be more
coordinated for that.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
That's like the second most famous part of the dance.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Sure, yeah, for professional dancers maybe. I mean, it's not
the kind of thing you know, just regular people can
do squatting and clapping, wedding and clapping, but doing it
in rhythm in a white people No, I don't think so.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Can I just make a point here?
Speaker 3 (00:42):
First?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
What happened at a Monkey Update? I would all keyed up
for the Monkey Update. Now you all do and dancing? No,
we're we're not dancing. We were talking about dancing. It's
everyone in the chair dancing. It's not real dancing. It's
not like we went out on the floor or anything.
We're all sitting in our chairs. Fine, all right, give
us the monkey news.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Steve.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
First of all, the monkeys that escaped in Mississippi, apparently
they're saying now, are not diseased.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
They said, this monkey story got a little out of hand.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Very quickly, that sexually transmitted diseases. That was the original
report that got out. Now the report is they are
not diseased.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That was fake news that they were infected with hep
or herps or whatever it was. They were infected with
so herpagana syphilids. Now, as far as we know, they
haven't rounded all of them up yet. They still got
some monkeys on the loose. But this monkey on the
loose story is from Plano, Texas.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
What no, No, Steve, Covington, that's where it happened.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
No, no, no, that was an old one. This is a
new one.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
You mean yesterday was old. There's another one.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Well, yesterday it was Mississippi. Oh oh, it's Mississippi. But
Covington was old. They keep up on all your monkey news.
You've got them all out of date.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Now.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Covington is where the monkey testing facility is located. But
they awesome and Mississippi, I got you. Well, they were
leaving two Lane and going somewhere else. I don't know,
but they had to cut to Mississippi and on the way.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Now, the Plano monkey is actually a somebody's pet monkey,
and apparently they thought it would be fun to take
it over to the Spirit Halloween Store.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Okay, I said.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
What happened is most of these suburbs have an abandoned
Joe Anne's fabrics that this time of the year, just
for a month or two, turns into a Spirit Halloween store.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
It used to be a circuit city or atos or
empty the rest of the time.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
So somebody brought their pet monkey to go shopping for
a costume, and it got loose inside the Halloween store
in Plano, Texas. Spent more than thirty minutes swinging around
from the rafters and poles, just probably having a good time.
And some people weren't even sure it was real, because
a lot of things at Spirit Halloween they're not real.
But the monkey was wearing a diaper, which made people think, oh,
(02:58):
it could poop on my head. The monkey got spooked
by one of those animatronic displays inside the store.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
You know, some some.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Vampire ghosts popped out of behind the wall, and the
monkey went berserk, got away from its owner, and employees
were not able to get it together, so they called
the police, and after about a half an hour, eventually
the monkey's owner was able to bribe the monkey out
of the ceiling with a cookie. That's that's how I
(03:28):
controlled my dog. Yeah, that's it, the right thing. That's
how I get Melton to go poppy. Yeah, the monkey
was not injured. Neither was anybody in the store.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
No other humans were in danger.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Although several people were seeing just really getting out of
that store in a hurry when the monkey was I
don't know what they thought was gonna happen, but.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Why they're gonna miss a good shot? I know? All right.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
So in the meantime, I don't know if we explain this,
but the police killed five monkeys that the other insid
place because they thought they had COVID in Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Right, Well, they fell for the fake news, I guess, huh.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
A number of monkeys were destroyed after they got loose
Tuesday morning.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
That's the term they're using in the New York Times.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Destroyed Now, is that the way you get the other
monkeys to give up? They're pretty smart, these monkeys and
they're watching. Well, I don't know, they're gonna shoot us
if we don't turn ourselves in.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Look, let's be real for a minute.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
The fact that this news cycle is happening the week
of Halloween.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
I know.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Oh it's so good.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
So we've got six monkeys. Now, how many more? We
need six more to get to twelve monkeys? I gotta
have twelve. Can we get six more monkeys in the
news by tomorrow?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Why you need twelve?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Because the movie Billy there's a movie. What could we
do to make that happen by tomorrow?
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Boy, I don't know. To get the governor on a phone,
tell them we need six monkeys.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Look, this is a.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Very popular radio show, and the people that listening to it,
there's no shortage of eccentric, fascinating, unusual people out there.
I gotta think somewhere we got a listener with a
pet monkey who'd be willing to take his monkey to
an HB or a Rouse's or you know. Look, I'm
not trying to get anyone arrested it, of course not.
I just want to create a moment just like fun.
(05:09):
Don't you like fun? And we're gonna and we're gonna
do it for awareness for what's a good cause, wheelchairs,
Wheelchairs for Warriors. We go and when people ask why
did you do this, we're like, well, we just wanted
to remind everybody that we need wheelchairs.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Wheelchairs for Warriors dot org. Make a donation it.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
At some point, this show will have been on the
air long enough and we're getting close or forty three
forty third anniversaries coming up here in February.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
That's a big one.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Now, at some point we're gonna shift over and start
raising money for wheelchairs for Walton Johnson. I hope I
think that was pointed at me. Kelletdare you making fun
of Steve Well?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
He is the.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Oldest of the group. Hey, you're the pooh bah of
the radio show. Although we don't know how old mister
ow is, do we?
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Nobody?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
And well blacktone Craft, that's what I hear. The girls
he dates seem pretty young. Yeah, I mean they look
old enough to be at the bar, but they don't
look like they're old enough to remember when Obama was president.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
That makes me a little nervous. But they're so lucky.
Wouldn't you like to not remember that? Oh my god,
I'm just like to not remember Biden was president, but
they just keep bringing it up all the crap him
and his team was up to.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
They were up to a lot of chap.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
That auto pin story ain't going away because they're seriously
talking about just doing away with all the pardons that
were signed under the Biden administration, because it's turning out
now Joe wasn't aware of any of them, and it's
only supposed to be the president makes this decision instead.
(06:40):
I guess they just had that open door thing where
if you got somebody you want to get a pardon,
line up and you can step up and tell the
auto pen what to do. They pass that auto pin
around like that big bowl of cocaine at Charlie Sheen's
parties that got around, you know how Charlie Sheen, Yes, yes,
(07:00):
I know Biden.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
No, no, no, Charlie Sheen was good.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah, Charlie Sheen was actually in the news.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
He's back in the news.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
He didn't think a big, big Bunny whatever. That guy's
name is Bunny Bad. Yeah, but they don't. He doesn't
think that ought to be the Super Bowl halftime entertainment either.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
I was at uh waiting for a concert to start
earlier this week. And I'm standing around, and I'm standing
by three goth Mexican guys. There's a lot of goth
Mexicans these days. I wish I didn't know that, but
I do. And these guys have all the facial piercings
and the blue hair and the you know, and they're
standing around. One of them goes, so, uh, what do
you guys think about that guy doing the halftime show?
(07:37):
And then and then the other guy goes, some of
my friends like it, but some of them don't. And
then the third guy says, I could see it from
both perspectives.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Oh there's a guy.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
And in my head, I thought I should be at
home right now.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I shouldn't be at this concert waiting to see on
a weeknight, I'm listening to this And did you.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
In fact leave?
Speaker 4 (07:57):
I did?
Speaker 3 (07:57):
I thought so I did.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Cut out a little early.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Hey.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
One of my new favorite things to do is messing
with Google suggestions. Try this out, Billy. You go to Google,
type is they. If you type is they, the first
thing it says here.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Is wait, wait, don't tell me, I want to see
what I get. Okay, got they? Oh there's the there's
the computer thing. Now, I gotta put the little uh.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
What's that little thing called? It flashes?
Speaker 4 (08:23):
You mean the cursor, Billy, I gotta put it now.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I gotta type.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Is they is.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
God?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
This is gonna take forever?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Is they cutting food stamps? Is what it says, Billy?
Is they cutting? Is they cutting snap? Is they cutting
Section eight? Is they cutting Medicaid? Is they cutting tax subsidies?
Y'all knew the word subsidies, but you didn't know to type.
Are they? That's amazing to me.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
But I got different stuff than you got. That's why
I was trying to show you, is that we don't
get the same stuff I got. Is they a noun?
Is they third person? Is they a personal pro Is
they plural? Is mine coming up like that? And yours
is all racist and stuff? Billy, I don't know what
to tell you on these computers, that's that they.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I do think that for the purpose of entertainment here,
you've kind of ruined the segment. Uh yeah, no, you
did look around at how disappointed everyone is. We could
have broke forty five seconds ago. We'd all be ordering
breakfast by now, and we would have had a hilarious
joke to go to break on. But you're sitting here
telling us we go different search results. How does it feel, Billy?
Do you feel good about yourself?
Speaker 3 (09:30):
I do because I'm like Gavin Newsom. I can't mislead people.
I can't.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
I can't tell a lie. Me and Gavin and George Washington,
we cannot lie. That's our problem. You remember that, Norm McDonald.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
But imagine coming home and the cherry trees chopped over,
and you ask your son what did you do?
Speaker 4 (09:49):
And then he says, I cannot tell a lie. Yeah,
I cut down the church tree.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
And then your first thought would be, look, the cherry
tree is one thing, but.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
You can't tell a lie. Why can't you?
Speaker 3 (10:00):
That's not gonna work for for us.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Everyone gather round.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
What days?
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Well, let's see, it's Thursday, right.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Well it's only the best day of the year. Wilton
and Johnson Radio Network.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
But I could just if I could just break off
on real quick for the listeners in Houston, you guys
will enjoy this.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
What do you got going on? Now? What's going on?
Speaker 4 (10:17):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
You remember an East Parker? Does everybody know who a
Niee Parker is?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
I've heard of a Nie Porker. It's the same person.
So that was somebody just being rude to her. Oh
I hate that you you did that. You're the one
that was Kenny. I had perfectly good, funny little thing
going here and then you ruined it.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
How do you feel about that?
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Now?
Speaker 4 (10:42):
I feel I feel good, happy about it.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
If you're ruining my joke, I'm ruining your joke, okay,
And the battle is all now now you.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Feel you just go ahead and start something, okay.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
So anyway, you remember in East Parker, which she was
the mayor of Houston several years ago, she was a lesbian.
For a while, she was not controversial, and then right
as she was about to leave office, she was one
of the first politicians in the country to go hard
on tranny bathrooms.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Okay, yeah, now I noticed. One of the things she
did wrong is I guess because it was too early
in the world of politics. She never addressed the media
by talking about herself the way like that little French
dip gal does Koreem Jean Pierre. She's a black, lesbian, queer,
(11:29):
black woman. Yeah, yeah, all that stuff. Parker never ran
around Houston just letting everybody know that she was a queer,
white mayor.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Well, it may not be over yet. She may she's
coming back.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I'm sure she's going to try it now because it
seems to work on people.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
She's running for county judge, which in Texas is a
pretty big deal, especially in Houston. That's one probably the
most powerful elected position of any Democrat in the state,
the county judge of Harris County.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
I know we could I don't know if we could
do worse. We could do just as bad as the
one we got now. But we're just happy she's going
to be gone soon.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Right exactly.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
So an East Parker back when she was mayor wanted
to desperately be like Michelle Obama.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Oh, she wanted a penis No no, no, Billy had
she lesbians usually don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Healthy food initiative, that was what she was really into,
the unhealthy food initiative.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Yeah, that's when Michelle Obama made all these new rules
for the school cafeteria food, and none of the kids
that went to school would eat it, so they kept
bringing lunch from home.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Well, back when an Ease Parker was mayor, she launched
the Go Healthy Houston initiative. It's all about eating healthier food,
and we hadn't seen a niece in a while. Back
in twenty twelve, she said, we know obesity is a
significant health threat in our city. We want to tackle
this issue with initiative ideas and thinking to help Ustonians
make smart decisions to lead healthy lifestyles, prevent problems before
(12:56):
they occur, lower health care costs, and increase productivity.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Now, let me guess as a Democrat, she suggested all
that for us.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
But did not follow her own rules.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Ryan, you're getting ahead of me in the book here
a little bit. But that's try and that's correct. I'm
gonna ruin it if I can. No, you're fine. And
east Parker came out yesterday. She's like really fat. Yeah,
we hadn't seen her in a while. And then she
resurfaced in a public social media post here and she's
a big girl.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Oh, a niece has been eating good.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
How come she didn't follow her own rules?
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Well, that's a great question.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
She told us that obesity was a bad thing, but
she went ahead and jumped.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Right at it.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
You know what else is out about that? Like we
didn't have ozempic back then or anything. She has money,
she could.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Do all the things now, yeah, big get it sucked out.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
She could get the shots. She there's so many things.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
But apparently maybe her uh she married wife.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Or girlfriend or whatever.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Yeah, she got a wife here.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, maybe that maybe her her wife wants her to
be uh you know at the chunky side.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
I got a picture of her here next to her wife,
and which this one's the pretty one?
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Would you say?
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Well?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yeah, they're both lovely women. I mean that's what I think. Yeah,
just beautiful, beautiful on the inside and the out. That's
what I say when I look at them. Anyway, So
she's not living up to her promise.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
I guess damn.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
I know.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
That's disappointing, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
You know, we live at a time here when I
think most Americans like to vote for the fittest candidate.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Well, it depends where you live in the country. Yeah,
maybe in California. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
This chick that's supposed to replace Gavin Newsom.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
The Oh, she's she's a nasty one.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
I know.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
What's her name, Katie Porter Porker Porker. Yeah, well it
kind of works with her name too, doesn't it. Big
girl looks like and just in a temper too.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
I'm just I.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Guess her personality makes her even uglier than she just
comes off looking in a picture, because when you hear
her talk like, oh my god, she just got uglier.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
In a hurry.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Yeah, what do people like about Porter? It's what I
don't know, really, it's not even fit. You know, California.
You think they vote for somebody that's got the best hayn.
You know, Gavin got the best haircut, stuff like that,
But she ain't got nothing.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Yeah, I know, she's got upstate Wisconsin, good luck.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Yeah, a lot of cheese.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Yeah, sure does.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Anyway, Democrats are vowing to starve as many food stamp
recipients as it takes to get free health care for
illegal immigrants, reports the Babylon b.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Yeah, doesn't seem to be working in their favor, though.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
The holes keep coming back playing as many times as
they try to blame the Republicans for this, the public,
the people that are being bold, they kind of into
this whole Democrat thing.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Amen to that. Yeah, I feel like.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
The government shutdown has really reached a turning point here
because we know that the airports are starting to become congested.
We know that we're having issues now with the air
traffic controllers, the food stamps get cut off this weekend,
and for the first time ever, Senate Majority Leader John
Thune has exhibited raw emotion in a public place.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
He's usually mister mild mannered. Why can't we all get along?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah, we've never seen him before. We didn't know he
had emotions, and we've.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
Tried to do that thirteen times. You voted no thirteen times.
This isn't a political game. These are real people's lives
that we're talking about, and you all just figured out twenty.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Nine days in that.
Speaker 5 (16:30):
Oh, there might be some consequences, there are people will
run out of money.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
Yeah, we're twenty nine days in.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
I feel like when you listen to the audio and
you look at the video here, there are two very
different things happening. He's getting mad at a group of people. Steve,
do me a favor. Look at the seats behind John.
How many people would you say are sitting in the
Senate right now as he's giving the spitch.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I don't see any There's nobody there, nobody there, There's
never anybody there. She's just looking off case or like,
is there somebody there? Or are we just supposed to
think there's somebody there because he keeps looking to his lift.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
There might be somebody there, but not many, right, like a.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Staffer or a Democrat waiting to give their take on
what he's saying, and he's but there's But basically this
is an empty room and it always is. He's you're
doing it for the c SPAN cameras, which does bring
up a point I think we've made before on the show.
Were it not for c SPAN, would anybody be watching
these guys talk?
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah, I don't think so that. I don't know why
anybody would, but nobody shows up.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Once upon a time, you know, hundreds of years ago.
I gotta think when Senate was in session, that room
was probably filled with people.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Had to be.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
You had nowhere else to go, There was nothing else
to do. There was no internet or cable news or
there wasn't you know, wasn't a bunch of news reporters
out front with cameras and stuff. So some of those
inventions didn't even exist yet. So maybe back then there
were people there when the senators talked. Maybe, But at
what point did that change? Did it change before c
BAN existed? Did it go away because of c SPAN?
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Did gill.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
All the people that should have been there in the
room watching, we're just watching on TV. Huh, in their
office because they were trying to, you know, get some
work done.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Maybe that's where they were.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I'm sure they were watching though, right it was important
work as they serve the community.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I got to think probably they're watching their hand get
filled with money as a lobbyist bribes them.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
So well, they needed to be there for the delivery.
You know, you don't want that thick envelope of cash
sitting outside your door.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
They're watching their mistresses get undressed.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Today is Thursday.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
What are Thursdays risky? Especially on Thursdays?
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Thursdays are for me beautiful.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Now, can we all please get back to work. I
can't work Thursdays.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Walton and Johnson Radio Network,
I assume everybody is joining me and doing the Thriller dance,
and wherever they happen to you, you do it at
your desk or in your car or wherever.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Yeah, where do we stand on that? If you know
all the choreography to Thriller?
Speaker 3 (00:14):
I don't know all.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I just know this part where you just do your
hands like you're a monster. You go up and down
like that.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
What about the part where you squat and then you clap?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
That looks that looks true. Yeah, you gotta be more
coordinated for that.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
That's like the second most famous part of the dance.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Sure, yeah, for professional dancers maybe. I mean, it's not
the kind of thing you know, just regular people can
do squatting and clapping, wedding and clapping, but doing it
in rhythm in a white people No, I don't think so.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Can I just make a point here?
Speaker 3 (00:42):
First?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
What happened at a Monkey Update? I would all keyed up
for the Monkey Update. Now you all do and dancing? No,
we're we're not dancing. We were talking about dancing. It's
everyone in the chair dancing. It's not real dancing. It's
not like we went out on the floor or anything.
We're all sitting in our chairs. Fine, all right, give
us the monkey news.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
Steve.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
First of all, the monkeys that escaped in Mississippi, apparently
they're saying now, are not diseased.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
They said, this monkey story got a little out of hand.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Very quickly, that sexually transmitted diseases. That was the original
report that got out. Now the report is they are
not diseased.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That was fake news that they were infected with hep
or herps or whatever it was. They were infected with
so herpagana syphilids. Now, as far as we know, they
haven't rounded all of them up yet. They still got
some monkeys on the loose. But this monkey on the
loose story is from Plano, Texas.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
What no, No, Steve, Covington, that's where it happened.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
No, no, no, that was an old one. This is a
new one.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
You mean yesterday was old. There's another one.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Well, yesterday it was Mississippi. Oh oh, it's Mississippi. But
Covington was old. They keep up on all your monkey news.
You've got them all out of date.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Now.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Covington is where the monkey testing facility is located. But
they awesome and Mississippi, I got you. Well, they were
leaving two Lane and going somewhere else. I don't know,
but they had to cut to Mississippi and on the way.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Now, the Plano monkey is actually a somebody's pet monkey,
and apparently they thought it would be fun to take
it over to the Spirit Halloween Store.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Okay, I said.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
What happened is most of these suburbs have an abandoned
Joe Anne's fabrics that this time of the year, just
for a month or two, turns into a Spirit Halloween store.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
It used to be a circuit city or atos or
empty the rest of the time.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
So somebody brought their pet monkey to go shopping for
a costume, and it got loose inside the Halloween store
in Plano, Texas. Spent more than thirty minutes swinging around
from the rafters and poles, just probably having a good time.
And some people weren't even sure it was real, because
a lot of things at Spirit Halloween they're not real.
But the monkey was wearing a diaper, which made people think, oh,
(02:58):
it could poop on my head. The monkey got spooked
by one of those animatronic displays inside the store.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
You know, some some.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Vampire ghosts popped out of behind the wall, and the
monkey went berserk, got away from its owner, and employees
were not able to get it together, so they called
the police, and after about a half an hour, eventually
the monkey's owner was able to bribe the monkey out
of the ceiling with a cookie. That's that's how I
(03:28):
controlled my dog. Yeah, that's it, the right thing. That's
how I get Melton to go poppy. Yeah, the monkey
was not injured. Neither was anybody in the store.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
No other humans were in danger.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Although several people were seeing just really getting out of
that store in a hurry when the monkey was I
don't know what they thought was gonna happen, but.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Why they're gonna miss a good shot? I know? All right.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
So in the meantime, I don't know if we explain this,
but the police killed five monkeys that the other insid
place because they thought they had COVID in Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Right, Well, they fell for the fake news, I guess, huh.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
A number of monkeys were destroyed after they got loose
Tuesday morning.
Speaker 4 (04:03):
That's the term they're using in the New York Times.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Destroyed Now, is that the way you get the other
monkeys to give up? They're pretty smart, these monkeys and
they're watching. Well, I don't know, they're gonna shoot us
if we don't turn ourselves in.
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Look, let's be real for a minute.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
The fact that this news cycle is happening the week
of Halloween.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
I know.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Oh it's so good.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
So we've got six monkeys. Now, how many more? We
need six more to get to twelve monkeys? I gotta
have twelve. Can we get six more monkeys in the
news by tomorrow?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Why you need twelve?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Because the movie Billy there's a movie. What could we
do to make that happen by tomorrow?
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Boy, I don't know. To get the governor on a phone,
tell them we need six monkeys.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
Look, this is a.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Very popular radio show, and the people that listening to it,
there's no shortage of eccentric, fascinating, unusual people out there.
I gotta think somewhere we got a listener with a
pet monkey who'd be willing to take his monkey to
an HB or a Rouse's or you know. Look, I'm
not trying to get anyone arrested it, of course not.
I just want to create a moment just like fun.
(05:09):
Don't you like fun? And we're gonna and we're gonna
do it for awareness for what's a good cause, wheelchairs,
Wheelchairs for Warriors. We go and when people ask why
did you do this, we're like, well, we just wanted
to remind everybody that we need wheelchairs.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Wheelchairs for Warriors dot org. Make a donation it.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
At some point, this show will have been on the
air long enough and we're getting close or forty three
forty third anniversaries coming up here in February.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
That's a big one.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Now, at some point we're gonna shift over and start
raising money for wheelchairs for Walton Johnson. I hope I
think that was pointed at me. Kelletdare you making fun
of Steve Well?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
He is the.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Oldest of the group. Hey, you're the pooh bah of
the radio show. Although we don't know how old mister
ow is, do we?
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Nobody?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
And well blacktone Craft, that's what I hear. The girls
he dates seem pretty young. Yeah, I mean they look
old enough to be at the bar, but they don't
look like they're old enough to remember when Obama was president.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
That makes me a little nervous. But they're so lucky.
Wouldn't you like to not remember that? Oh my god,
I'm just like to not remember Biden was president, but
they just keep bringing it up all the crap him
and his team was up to.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
They were up to a lot of chap.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
That auto pin story ain't going away because they're seriously
talking about just doing away with all the pardons that
were signed under the Biden administration, because it's turning out
now Joe wasn't aware of any of them, and it's
only supposed to be the president makes this decision instead.
(06:40):
I guess they just had that open door thing where
if you got somebody you want to get a pardon,
line up and you can step up and tell the
auto pen what to do. They pass that auto pin
around like that big bowl of cocaine at Charlie Sheen's
parties that got around, you know how Charlie Sheen, Yes, yes,
(07:00):
I know Biden.
Speaker 4 (07:02):
No, no, no, Charlie Sheen was good.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah, Charlie Sheen was actually in the news.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
He's back in the news.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
He didn't think a big, big Bunny whatever. That guy's
name is Bunny Bad. Yeah, but they don't. He doesn't
think that ought to be the Super Bowl halftime entertainment either.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
I was at uh waiting for a concert to start
earlier this week. And I'm standing around, and I'm standing
by three goth Mexican guys. There's a lot of goth
Mexicans these days. I wish I didn't know that, but
I do. And these guys have all the facial piercings
and the blue hair and the you know, and they're
standing around. One of them goes, so, uh, what do
you guys think about that guy doing the halftime show?
(07:37):
And then and then the other guy goes, some of
my friends like it, but some of them don't. And
then the third guy says, I could see it from
both perspectives.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Oh there's a guy.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
And in my head, I thought I should be at
home right now.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I shouldn't be at this concert waiting to see on
a weeknight, I'm listening to this And did you.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
In fact leave?
Speaker 4 (07:57):
I did?
Speaker 3 (07:57):
I thought so I did.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Cut out a little early.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Hey.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
One of my new favorite things to do is messing
with Google suggestions. Try this out, Billy. You go to Google,
type is they. If you type is they, the first
thing it says here.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Is wait, wait, don't tell me, I want to see
what I get. Okay, got they? Oh there's the there's
the computer thing. Now, I gotta put the little uh.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
What's that little thing called? It flashes?
Speaker 4 (08:23):
You mean the cursor, Billy, I gotta put it now.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I gotta type.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Is they is.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
God?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
This is gonna take forever?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Is they cutting food stamps? Is what it says, Billy?
Is they cutting? Is they cutting snap? Is they cutting
Section eight? Is they cutting Medicaid? Is they cutting tax subsidies?
Y'all knew the word subsidies, but you didn't know to type.
Are they? That's amazing to me.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
But I got different stuff than you got. That's why
I was trying to show you, is that we don't
get the same stuff I got. Is they a noun?
Is they third person? Is they a personal pro Is
they plural? Is mine coming up like that? And yours
is all racist and stuff? Billy, I don't know what
to tell you on these computers, that's that they.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I do think that for the purpose of entertainment here,
you've kind of ruined the segment. Uh yeah, no, you
did look around at how disappointed everyone is. We could
have broke forty five seconds ago. We'd all be ordering
breakfast by now, and we would have had a hilarious
joke to go to break on. But you're sitting here
telling us we go different search results. How does it feel, Billy?
Do you feel good about yourself?
Speaker 3 (09:30):
I do because I'm like Gavin Newsom. I can't mislead people.
I can't.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
I can't tell a lie. Me and Gavin and George Washington,
we cannot lie. That's our problem. You remember that, Norm McDonald.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
But imagine coming home and the cherry trees chopped over,
and you ask your son what did you do?
Speaker 4 (09:49):
And then he says, I cannot tell a lie. Yeah,
I cut down the church tree.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
And then your first thought would be, look, the cherry
tree is one thing, but.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
You can't tell a lie. Why can't you?
Speaker 3 (10:00):
That's not gonna work for for us.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Everyone gather round.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
What days?
Speaker 4 (10:04):
Well, let's see, it's Thursday, right.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Well it's only the best day of the year. Wilton
and Johnson Radio Network.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
But I could just if I could just break off
on real quick for the listeners in Houston, you guys
will enjoy this.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
What do you got going on? Now? What's going on?
Speaker 4 (10:17):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
You remember an East Parker? Does everybody know who a
Niee Parker is?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
I've heard of a Nie Porker. It's the same person.
So that was somebody just being rude to her. Oh
I hate that you you did that. You're the one
that was Kenny. I had perfectly good, funny little thing
going here and then you ruined it.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
How do you feel about that?
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Now?
Speaker 4 (10:42):
I feel I feel good, happy about it.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
If you're ruining my joke, I'm ruining your joke, okay,
And the battle is all now now you.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Feel you just go ahead and start something, okay.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
So anyway, you remember in East Parker, which she was
the mayor of Houston several years ago, she was a lesbian.
For a while, she was not controversial, and then right
as she was about to leave office, she was one
of the first politicians in the country to go hard
on tranny bathrooms.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Okay, yeah, now I noticed. One of the things she
did wrong is I guess because it was too early
in the world of politics. She never addressed the media
by talking about herself the way like that little French
dip gal does Koreem Jean Pierre. She's a black, lesbian, queer,
(11:29):
black woman. Yeah, yeah, all that stuff. Parker never ran
around Houston just letting everybody know that she was a queer,
white mayor.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Well, it may not be over yet. She may she's
coming back.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I'm sure she's going to try it now because it
seems to work on people.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
She's running for county judge, which in Texas is a
pretty big deal, especially in Houston. That's one probably the
most powerful elected position of any Democrat in the state,
the county judge of Harris County.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
I know we could I don't know if we could
do worse. We could do just as bad as the
one we got now. But we're just happy she's going
to be gone soon.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
Right exactly.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
So an East Parker back when she was mayor wanted
to desperately be like Michelle Obama.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Oh, she wanted a penis No no, no, Billy had
she lesbians usually don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Healthy food initiative, that was what she was really into,
the unhealthy food initiative.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Yeah, that's when Michelle Obama made all these new rules
for the school cafeteria food, and none of the kids
that went to school would eat it, so they kept
bringing lunch from home.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Well, back when an Ease Parker was mayor, she launched
the Go Healthy Houston initiative. It's all about eating healthier food,
and we hadn't seen a niece in a while. Back
in twenty twelve, she said, we know obesity is a
significant health threat in our city. We want to tackle
this issue with initiative ideas and thinking to help Ustonians
make smart decisions to lead healthy lifestyles, prevent problems before
(12:56):
they occur, lower health care costs, and increase productivity.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Now, let me guess as a Democrat, she suggested all
that for us.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
But did not follow her own rules.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Ryan, you're getting ahead of me in the book here
a little bit. But that's try and that's correct. I'm
gonna ruin it if I can. No, you're fine. And
east Parker came out yesterday. She's like really fat. Yeah,
we hadn't seen her in a while. And then she
resurfaced in a public social media post here and she's
a big girl.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Oh, a niece has been eating good.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
How come she didn't follow her own rules?
Speaker 4 (13:27):
Well, that's a great question.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
She told us that obesity was a bad thing, but
she went ahead and jumped.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Right at it.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
You know what else is out about that? Like we
didn't have ozempic back then or anything. She has money,
she could.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Do all the things now, yeah, big get it sucked out.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
She could get the shots. She there's so many things.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
But apparently maybe her uh she married wife.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Or girlfriend or whatever.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Yeah, she got a wife here.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, maybe that maybe her her wife wants her to
be uh you know at the chunky side.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
I got a picture of her here next to her wife,
and which this one's the pretty one?
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Would you say?
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Well?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yeah, they're both lovely women. I mean that's what I think. Yeah,
just beautiful, beautiful on the inside and the out. That's
what I say when I look at them. Anyway, So
she's not living up to her promise.
Speaker 3 (14:14):
I guess damn.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
I know.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
That's disappointing, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
You know, we live at a time here when I
think most Americans like to vote for the fittest candidate.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Well, it depends where you live in the country. Yeah,
maybe in California. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
This chick that's supposed to replace Gavin Newsom.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
The Oh, she's she's a nasty one.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
I know.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
What's her name, Katie Porter Porker Porker. Yeah, well it
kind of works with her name too, doesn't it. Big
girl looks like and just in a temper too.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
I'm just I.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Guess her personality makes her even uglier than she just
comes off looking in a picture, because when you hear
her talk like, oh my god, she just got uglier.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
In a hurry.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Yeah, what do people like about Porter? It's what I
don't know, really, it's not even fit. You know, California.
You think they vote for somebody that's got the best hayn.
You know, Gavin got the best haircut, stuff like that,
But she ain't got nothing.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Yeah, I know, she's got upstate Wisconsin, good luck.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Yeah, a lot of cheese.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
Yeah, sure does.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Anyway, Democrats are vowing to starve as many food stamp
recipients as it takes to get free health care for
illegal immigrants, reports the Babylon b.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Yeah, doesn't seem to be working in their favor, though.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
The holes keep coming back playing as many times as
they try to blame the Republicans for this, the public,
the people that are being bold, they kind of into
this whole Democrat thing.
Speaker 4 (15:44):
Amen to that. Yeah, I feel like.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
The government shutdown has really reached a turning point here
because we know that the airports are starting to become congested.
We know that we're having issues now with the air
traffic controllers, the food stamps get cut off this weekend,
and for the first time ever, Senate Majority Leader John
Thune has exhibited raw emotion in a public place.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
He's usually mister mild mannered. Why can't we all get along?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah, we've never seen him before. We didn't know he
had emotions, and we've.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
Tried to do that thirteen times. You voted no thirteen times.
This isn't a political game. These are real people's lives
that we're talking about, and you all just figured out twenty.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Nine days in that.
Speaker 5 (16:30):
Oh, there might be some consequences, there are people will
run out of money.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
Yeah, we're twenty nine days in.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
I feel like when you listen to the audio and
you look at the video here, there are two very
different things happening. He's getting mad at a group of people. Steve,
do me a favor. Look at the seats behind John.
How many people would you say are sitting in the
Senate right now as he's giving the spitch.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I don't see any There's nobody there, nobody there, There's
never anybody there. She's just looking off case or like,
is there somebody there? Or are we just supposed to
think there's somebody there because he keeps looking to his lift.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
There might be somebody there, but not many, right, like a.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Staffer or a Democrat waiting to give their take on
what he's saying, and he's but there's But basically this
is an empty room and it always is. He's you're
doing it for the c SPAN cameras, which does bring
up a point I think we've made before on the show.
Were it not for c SPAN, would anybody be watching
these guys talk?
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah, I don't think so that. I don't know why
anybody would, but nobody shows up.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Once upon a time, you know, hundreds of years ago.
I gotta think when Senate was in session, that room
was probably filled with people.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Had to be.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
You had nowhere else to go, There was nothing else
to do. There was no internet or cable news or
there wasn't you know, wasn't a bunch of news reporters
out front with cameras and stuff. So some of those
inventions didn't even exist yet. So maybe back then there
were people there when the senators talked. Maybe, But at
what point did that change? Did it change before c
BAN existed? Did it go away because of c SPAN?
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Did gill.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
All the people that should have been there in the
room watching, we're just watching on TV. Huh, in their
office because they were trying to, you know, get some
work done.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Maybe that's where they were.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I'm sure they were watching though, right it was important
work as they serve the community.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I got to think probably they're watching their hand get
filled with money as a lobbyist bribes them.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
So well, they needed to be there for the delivery.
You know, you don't want that thick envelope of cash
sitting outside your door.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
They're watching their mistresses get undressed.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Today is Thursday.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
What are Thursdays risky? Especially on Thursdays?
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Thursdays are for me beautiful.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Now, can we all please get back to work. I
can't work Thursdays.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
Walton and Johnson Radio Network,
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