Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kenny, Kenny, come on, Kenny, Oh, Kenny, get in my ear, Kenny.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
This is Oh there you are. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I mean, now you're in my ear.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Good morning America. South of them.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Wait no, then Golf Coast and beyond. Hello to the
Gulf of America and all of our other ships at sea.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Sure, even that one in Hawaii that's not at sea anymore.
There's a boat off the coast of Hawaii. It's like
a seventy five footer. It's a big n and the
clear skies, beautiful weather.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
If you haven't seen the video yet, it's it's I
don't know if it just went where it wasn't supposed
big old waves there in the.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Well, yeah, it could have been some of those tsunami waves.
Don't blame me, man, got caught up to the tsunami,
you know. Lucky to be alive. Yeah, that's a news
story today. Not much to say about it other than
what we just said. But there is a lot going
on today, and it's Monday, and you're alive.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
You woke up still not dead again. Today, let's address
that God is good. You're alive.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Everything for the most part is okay, and that that's
a great place to start the day.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Amen to that.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Beyond that, the big news today is that Donald Trump
will be meeting with Vladimir Putin and maybe Zolensky if
we can tolerate his pompous little attitude, but maybe not. Also,
and also that depends what news channel you listen to.
I turned on the radio this morning as I was
getting ready for work, as I often do, and I
heard Fox News say Zolensky might be there, and then
(01:23):
ABC News said Zolensky wasn't invited. And technically both of
those statements are true.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You could be there and not be invited. You've done
that plenty of times. Or similarly, that they haven't invited
him yet. You know, no, I get it. You're trying
to insult me. I don't care. That's not an insult. Ego,
not bruised at all. Don't care.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
That is a quality, sir, that it's a feature of
your personality that you will often show up in spite
of the fact that many people have said that you
weren't welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Especially at the especially at a Democrat Party cocktail.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Oh yes happened. Oh you didn't want me here?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
It's well, you know, maybe you guys shouldn't have tried
to burn down America.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Oh my coffee went dead the wrong.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I do have the solution to the Zelensky Putin thing,
but we're gonna share that later. I figured it out
this weekend while we were out on tour.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
But solving you know, the war and creating international piece
that can wait.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Yeah, we'll get to that later.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Well it doesn't, it's not gonna matter here in the
next ten minutes. Speaking of not being invited to a
cocktail party, we have a friend, he's a journalist. He
went undercover and an Antifa social function in our area,
the Houston area, and for those of you in the
Dallas Fort Worth.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Area, this is going to sound very familiar.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Apparently Antifa in Houston is planning on going after ICE
agents and they think they can just do that.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, it's like Islamo commie.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Fascist, socialist Collabo boy, kind of like when DJ Khaled
teams up with Drake.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I was just thinking that it's exactly the same.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
But instead of making a crappy song, they're gonna make
a crappy attempt at overthrowing the government fun.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah, so that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Trump's FBI leader that'd be cash battel facing facing a
little backlash after getting rid of some key agents. We
also fired the head of the irs. You know, his
job might seem difficult. It's a little taxing, is it
a little bit? Not as much as that was. No,
I'm not ashamed of it. Illinois Governor Pritsker. Illinois Governor
(03:26):
Pritzker was on NBC this weekend talking to Kristin Welker.
His whole body, no, Steve, you know, his whole body was.
I didn't think they had a camera that big. Kristin Welke.
He's criticizing Trump for being a billionaire. And do I
even need to tell you the rest of it? And
even NBC's Kristin Welker couldn't sit there and listen to this. Pritzker,
(03:48):
you don't like Trump because he's a chubby billionaire. You're
a morbidly obese billionaire. You're fatter and you have slightly
more money.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Huh. That's the best kind. Yeah, come on talk.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It's like it's like Jeffredo criticizing Charles Manson for being
connected to some murders. You don't get to you don't
get to be the one to complain about that. Over
the weekend, a bunch of female social media influencers in
the conservative world were arguing publicly on x on social media,
and they were arguing about who's the bigger whore?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
What an out?
Speaker 1 (04:23):
They had time to do that while there was a
woman who was umpiring a Major League baseball game for
the first time ever? How do these women not sit
in front of the TV and watch history be made?
I know they're women, it's like they don't care. I
have noticed there's a handful of women on our side.
I mean, I don't even know if they're on our side.
(04:44):
There there are.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Women who make a living talking about Trump on social
media and men for that matter who they claim to be.
These like very paleo conservative. It's a new kind of grift.
I noticed, and I look, I gotta.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Keep it real. We got to keep it real, deal
whole on your favorite morning show.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I've noticed that some of them are not being sincere.
What one of them who is makes a living bragging
about being a social media conservative. A social influencer for
conservative young women got finger blasted in the lobby of
a Turning Point USA convention in Florida recently.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Sweet, I don't it.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Doesn't really seem like something my traditional grandma would have done.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You don't know everything grandma did back in her day, Abe.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
I don't know much about my grandma, but I'm pretty
sure she never gave a speech at a conservative student
convention and then went out in the hallway and got
finger blasted by some dude while everyone watched.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
But you don't know, fair you weren't there. Thank God,
I will not see you Monday, Walton and Johnson Radio Network.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Oh oh, I have an early morning answer, and if
I don't have one, I'll just make it up.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Well, of course, that's what we do.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Anybody want to share with me their feelings about the
fact that all of these Democrats from Texas have been
fired from their job and jailed and that seems kind
of harsh, but that's what the governor said he was
gonna do Friday.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I'm assum he did. I don't really keep up.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
With the news that much, but they're all in jail
now right over the weekend.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
I haven't chucked out this morning, but over the weekend
they gathered together in Fort Worth with the Irish rows
of West Texas Bato o' rourke. They had a big rally,
Irish rules, filled with language you wouldn't use in church.
I'm not some pearl clutching school mom. I won't pretend
to be offended. But it is weird how they talk
about how unpresidential Trump is and then they throw a
(06:42):
rally where they swear like drunken sailors.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Well, that's part of the Democrat plan. They announced it
a while back. They planned to get tough, and by
tough I mean they're going to say curse words in
situations where normally they weren't allowed to say them.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Well, show Trump, We're gonna drive up and f bomb
once every twenty minutes at this rally.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Damn hum that I'll teach him and his bitch wife.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yeah dah, Yeah, Now we're tough. Yeah, your wife's a
bee ware attacking his woman. So but to your point,
Steve the abbot did nothing. You know, there's three of
them in Houston right now.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Did nothing?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
What?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
But he talks so tough.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Monday a week ago, he said, if they don't come back,
they're gonna be out of a job. And if they
don't come back, we're gonna throw him in jail. And no,
all week long he talked about it. Friday that was
their next deadline. Monday was a deadline. Friday was a deadline.
Nothing happened, Nothing's gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Yeah, Abbot's done nothing.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Abbot vowed indefinite special sessions, says fleeing Democrats could face arrest.
Now that was twenty hours ago. Forty eight hours ago.
They were all gathered together in Fort Worth. Stay Representedive
Briscocaine as a local lawmaker from here in the Houston area,
and he told us the radio the other day that
there are at least three of them in Houston, just
(08:06):
moving around openly. You could you see them at kombucha bars.
They're just going to wherever they go. Pilate's class, They're
they're not going to Austin. It's like, all right, dude.
It was one thing when they were in Illinois and
you didn't have any jurisdiction to send the rangers. I'm
pretty sure if they're in Katie, Texas, you could go
do something about it.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Good. But again Abbott talks big. No, nothing's going to
happen there, So get ready for that. Boy. I had
a weekend. How about you you do anything cool this weekend? No, No,
the way I like it.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
We had so many people come out in Hattiesburg and
Baton Rouge this weekend and they all asked about you.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
They're like, where's Steve?
Speaker 3 (08:47):
And every time every time I told a joke on
stage that didn't hit as hard as I want, I
told him you wrote it. And then for some reason,
after I said your name, they were like, oh, I
guess we liked it.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Well, then it was funny. The most interesting experience in
my weekend was this. And I'll make this a short story.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Because you did go through Lafayette or Baton Rouge in
your travels.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Oh yeah, did you catch anything? Oh? Because the venereal
disease I'll break.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Number one in siphilis number two nationwide, gone a rhea.
We warned you on Friday before you left.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
But there's an epidemic of venereal disease in Mississippi right
now too. I mean, it's probably here. Let's not get ourselves.
That's not far from here. You didn't You didn't help
with that, I hope. Here's what I wonder. If it's
a VD epidemic, how do we blame China for this
because you know they're behind it? Well, of course, probably
put little pricks in our in our condoms if I
had to guests. But no, I get into the Hattiesburg
(09:44):
airport because I met up with the other comedians we
were on tour with and they were already at the venue.
I'm at the Hattiesburg Airport. Now, no district. I love.
We've been at a lot of tiny airports, you and
I Steve, nothing like this. Really, it was like landing
at a strip. Mall got off the plane with maybe
twenty other people who immediately just scatter like cockroaches off
(10:05):
to their car. They leave, They're gone, Yep, I'm the
only one there. I'm the only one there. So I
was like, all right, you know, I need to get
a cab to the venue. It's ten or fifteen minutes away.
It's not a big place. There's no taxi cab in Hattiesburg.
Call for an uber Uber is like, all right, forty
five minutes away. Maybe there's only two Uber guys in
the city. Probably they're not anywhere in the Tri County
(10:26):
area the other side of town. So there's this dude
standing there in the parking lot. It was like that
scene in Deliverance and walk up to this guy toothless
meth head. He's got a dead battery on his old
pickup truck. Are here, Tucker not, They're fair. Not a
tooth in his mouth there. He's like, oh yeah, I
could be a ride through the venue. I got a
good dish truck jump And there there was a brief
(10:49):
moment there where I really thought I was gonna get raped.
But then it turned out he was the mayor, so
it was fine. It was yeah, it was okay, no
big deal, no raping at all.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
No.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
I didn't even get raped to touchy feet, you know what.
I just I would have been nice if he tried,
just to know that. I'm still cute, kind of like
when you were a kid with the priests.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah, it never happened, damn it. I was a cute kid.
I was a little blonde boy isheaded urchin. Yeah, the
priest never wanted it anyway. So these were these Democrats.
They're not under arrest yet. Beto o'rourk has been blocked
from financially supporting Texas Democrats because of Ken Paxton. There's
one guy doing something right now, and I'll tell you
(11:27):
it's not John Cornyn. John Cornyn couldn't be doing less
The state senator senior Senator of Texas out here saying, oh.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I asked the FBI to go get him.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
And then the FBI put out a statement saying that's
not true.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Right, We never heard from the guy.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
The Texas Attorney General, Ken Paxton says he's filed suit
to remove thirteen absent state Democrats from office. You know,
you know, it's all part of this redistrict in fight.
Ken Paxton has done more than anyone. He's done more
than Abbott, He's done more than Cornyn. Certainly Dustin Burrows
is the Texas Speaker.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Of the House.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Over the weekend, I saw something we've seen before. Sometimes
you have to look it's just the timing of things.
There's all these conservative influencers on social media who never
talk about Texas state politics, and within thirty minutes of
each other, they all wrote almost the exact same tweet
about what a great job the Texas House Speaker Dustin
(12:22):
Burrows was doing.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Okay, and Dustin Burrows hasn't done anything. I was gonna say,
what has he done? Nothing? You know what?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
It was some maybe Dustin's mom, you know, or wife,
or somebody's blogger.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
I got to think somebody called them and said, hey,
how much money would it cost for you to write
a flattering tweet for the Texas House Speaker right now?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
It would be one.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Thing if like one or two of them did it
hours apart, but it was within the same hour period.
Word for word, they all said almost the exact same thing.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Well, maybe he wrote it and just sent it out right,
kind of the way Democrats always do. That's what they
do with the new I never would have.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Thought to call someone and offer them money to write
a tweet. But then I'm not a scumsucking parasite politician.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
You got that going for you. I just I know
it's a moot point. None of this is new.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
It's just the new cyber version of the same nonsense
that's been happening for decades. But you know, it bothers
me when people on the other side are disingenuous, but
knowing that we're aligned.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
With these people, it just leaves a bitter taste in
my mouth. Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Well, here's some words from the governor of Texas, tough talk.
If they show back up in the state of Texas,
they will be arrested and taken to the capital. But
you've said that many are already back in Texas. He
could do it right now, they did not. If they
want to evade that arrest, they'll have to stay outside
of the state of Texas for years.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Is Fort Worth in Houston? Is that outside the state
of Texas?
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Not?
Speaker 2 (13:50):
I believe it's right, smeck dab inside the state of Texas.
You're right, Mundy money. How was your weekend? Not nearly
long enough? Walton and Johnson Radio Network,
Kenny, Kenny, come on, Kenny, Oh, Kenny, get in my ear, Kenny.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
This is Oh there you are. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I mean, now you're in my ear.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Good morning America. South of them.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Wait no, then Golf Coast and beyond. Hello to the
Gulf of America and all of our other ships at sea.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Sure, even that one in Hawaii that's not at sea anymore.
There's a boat off the coast of Hawaii. It's like
a seventy five footer. It's a big n and the
clear skies, beautiful weather.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
If you haven't seen the video yet, it's it's I
don't know if it just went where it wasn't supposed
big old waves there in the.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Well, yeah, it could have been some of those tsunami waves.
Don't blame me, man, got caught up to the tsunami,
you know. Lucky to be alive. Yeah, that's a news
story today. Not much to say about it other than
what we just said. But there is a lot going
on today, and it's Monday, and you're alive.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
You woke up still not dead again. Today, let's address
that God is good. You're alive.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Everything for the most part is okay, and that that's
a great place to start the day.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Amen to that.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Beyond that, the big news today is that Donald Trump
will be meeting with Vladimir Putin and maybe Zolensky if
we can tolerate his pompous little attitude, but maybe not. Also,
and also that depends what news channel you listen to.
I turned on the radio this morning as I was
getting ready for work, as I often do, and I
heard Fox News say Zolensky might be there, and then
(01:23):
ABC News said Zolensky wasn't invited. And technically both of
those statements are true.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You could be there and not be invited. You've done
that plenty of times. Or similarly, that they haven't invited
him yet. You know, no, I get it. You're trying
to insult me. I don't care. That's not an insult. Ego,
not bruised at all. Don't care.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
That is a quality, sir, that it's a feature of
your personality that you will often show up in spite
of the fact that many people have said that you
weren't welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Especially at the especially at a Democrat Party cocktail.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Oh yes happened. Oh you didn't want me here?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
It's well, you know, maybe you guys shouldn't have tried
to burn down America.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Oh my coffee went dead the wrong.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I do have the solution to the Zelensky Putin thing,
but we're gonna share that later. I figured it out
this weekend while we were out on tour.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
But solving you know, the war and creating international piece
that can wait.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Yeah, we'll get to that later.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Well it doesn't, it's not gonna matter here in the
next ten minutes. Speaking of not being invited to a
cocktail party, we have a friend, he's a journalist. He
went undercover and an Antifa social function in our area,
the Houston area, and for those of you in the
Dallas Fort Worth.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Area, this is going to sound very familiar.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Apparently Antifa in Houston is planning on going after ICE
agents and they think they can just do that.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, it's like Islamo commie.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Fascist, socialist Collabo boy, kind of like when DJ Khaled
teams up with Drake.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I was just thinking that it's exactly the same.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
But instead of making a crappy song, they're gonna make
a crappy attempt at overthrowing the government fun.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah, so that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Trump's FBI leader that'd be cash battel facing facing a
little backlash after getting rid of some key agents. We
also fired the head of the irs. You know, his
job might seem difficult. It's a little taxing, is it
a little bit? Not as much as that was. No,
I'm not ashamed of it. Illinois Governor Pritsker. Illinois Governor
(03:26):
Pritzker was on NBC this weekend talking to Kristin Welker.
His whole body, no, Steve, you know, his whole body was.
I didn't think they had a camera that big. Kristin Welke.
He's criticizing Trump for being a billionaire. And do I
even need to tell you the rest of it? And
even NBC's Kristin Welker couldn't sit there and listen to this. Pritzker,
(03:48):
you don't like Trump because he's a chubby billionaire. You're
a morbidly obese billionaire. You're fatter and you have slightly
more money.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Huh. That's the best kind. Yeah, come on talk.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
It's like it's like Jeffredo criticizing Charles Manson for being
connected to some murders. You don't get to you don't
get to be the one to complain about that. Over
the weekend, a bunch of female social media influencers in
the conservative world were arguing publicly on x on social media,
and they were arguing about who's the bigger whore?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
What an out?
Speaker 1 (04:23):
They had time to do that while there was a
woman who was umpiring a Major League baseball game for
the first time ever? How do these women not sit
in front of the TV and watch history be made?
I know they're women, it's like they don't care. I
have noticed there's a handful of women on our side.
I mean, I don't even know if they're on our side.
(04:44):
There there are.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Women who make a living talking about Trump on social
media and men for that matter who they claim to be.
These like very paleo conservative. It's a new kind of grift.
I noticed, and I look, I gotta.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Keep it real. We got to keep it real, deal
whole on your favorite morning show.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
I've noticed that some of them are not being sincere.
What one of them who is makes a living bragging
about being a social media conservative. A social influencer for
conservative young women got finger blasted in the lobby of
a Turning Point USA convention in Florida recently.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Sweet, I don't it.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Doesn't really seem like something my traditional grandma would have done.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You don't know everything grandma did back in her day, Abe.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
I don't know much about my grandma, but I'm pretty
sure she never gave a speech at a conservative student
convention and then went out in the hallway and got
finger blasted by some dude while everyone watched.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
But you don't know, fair you weren't there. Thank God,
I will not see you Monday, Walton and Johnson Radio Network.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Oh oh, I have an early morning answer, and if
I don't have one, I'll just make it up.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Well, of course, that's what we do.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Anybody want to share with me their feelings about the
fact that all of these Democrats from Texas have been
fired from their job and jailed and that seems kind
of harsh, but that's what the governor said he was
gonna do Friday.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
I'm assum he did. I don't really keep up.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
With the news that much, but they're all in jail
now right over the weekend.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
I haven't chucked out this morning, but over the weekend
they gathered together in Fort Worth with the Irish rows
of West Texas Bato o' rourke. They had a big rally,
Irish rules, filled with language you wouldn't use in church.
I'm not some pearl clutching school mom. I won't pretend
to be offended. But it is weird how they talk
about how unpresidential Trump is and then they throw a
(06:42):
rally where they swear like drunken sailors.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Well, that's part of the Democrat plan. They announced it
a while back. They planned to get tough, and by
tough I mean they're going to say curse words in
situations where normally they weren't allowed to say them.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
Well, show Trump, We're gonna drive up and f bomb
once every twenty minutes at this rally.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Damn hum that I'll teach him and his bitch wife.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yeah dah, Yeah, Now we're tough. Yeah, your wife's a
bee ware attacking his woman. So but to your point,
Steve the abbot did nothing. You know, there's three of
them in Houston right now.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Did nothing?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
What?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
But he talks so tough.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Monday a week ago, he said, if they don't come back,
they're gonna be out of a job. And if they
don't come back, we're gonna throw him in jail. And no,
all week long he talked about it. Friday that was
their next deadline. Monday was a deadline. Friday was a deadline.
Nothing happened, Nothing's gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Yeah, Abbot's done nothing.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Abbot vowed indefinite special sessions, says fleeing Democrats could face arrest.
Now that was twenty hours ago. Forty eight hours ago.
They were all gathered together in Fort Worth. Stay Representedive
Briscocaine as a local lawmaker from here in the Houston area,
and he told us the radio the other day that
there are at least three of them in Houston, just
(08:06):
moving around openly. You could you see them at kombucha bars.
They're just going to wherever they go. Pilate's class, They're
they're not going to Austin. It's like, all right, dude.
It was one thing when they were in Illinois and
you didn't have any jurisdiction to send the rangers. I'm
pretty sure if they're in Katie, Texas, you could go
do something about it.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Good. But again Abbott talks big. No, nothing's going to
happen there, So get ready for that. Boy. I had
a weekend. How about you you do anything cool this weekend? No, No,
the way I like it.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
We had so many people come out in Hattiesburg and
Baton Rouge this weekend and they all asked about you.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
They're like, where's Steve?
Speaker 3 (08:47):
And every time every time I told a joke on
stage that didn't hit as hard as I want, I
told him you wrote it. And then for some reason,
after I said your name, they were like, oh, I
guess we liked it.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Well, then it was funny. The most interesting experience in
my weekend was this. And I'll make this a short story.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Because you did go through Lafayette or Baton Rouge in
your travels.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Oh yeah, did you catch anything? Oh? Because the venereal
disease I'll break.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Number one in siphilis number two nationwide, gone a rhea.
We warned you on Friday before you left.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
But there's an epidemic of venereal disease in Mississippi right
now too. I mean, it's probably here. Let's not get ourselves.
That's not far from here. You didn't You didn't help
with that, I hope. Here's what I wonder. If it's
a VD epidemic, how do we blame China for this
because you know they're behind it? Well, of course, probably
put little pricks in our in our condoms if I
had to guests. But no, I get into the Hattiesburg
(09:44):
airport because I met up with the other comedians we
were on tour with and they were already at the venue.
I'm at the Hattiesburg Airport. Now, no district. I love.
We've been at a lot of tiny airports, you and
I Steve, nothing like this. Really, it was like landing
at a strip. Mall got off the plane with maybe
twenty other people who immediately just scatter like cockroaches off
(10:05):
to their car. They leave, They're gone, Yep, I'm the
only one there. I'm the only one there. So I
was like, all right, you know, I need to get
a cab to the venue. It's ten or fifteen minutes away.
It's not a big place. There's no taxi cab in Hattiesburg.
Call for an uber Uber is like, all right, forty
five minutes away. Maybe there's only two Uber guys in
the city. Probably they're not anywhere in the Tri County
(10:26):
area the other side of town. So there's this dude
standing there in the parking lot. It was like that
scene in Deliverance and walk up to this guy toothless
meth head. He's got a dead battery on his old
pickup truck. Are here, Tucker not, They're fair. Not a
tooth in his mouth there. He's like, oh yeah, I
could be a ride through the venue. I got a
good dish truck jump And there there was a brief
(10:49):
moment there where I really thought I was gonna get raped.
But then it turned out he was the mayor, so
it was fine. It was yeah, it was okay, no
big deal, no raping at all.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
No.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
I didn't even get raped to touchy feet, you know what.
I just I would have been nice if he tried,
just to know that. I'm still cute, kind of like
when you were a kid with the priests.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah, it never happened, damn it. I was a cute kid.
I was a little blonde boy isheaded urchin. Yeah, the
priest never wanted it anyway. So these were these Democrats.
They're not under arrest yet. Beto o'rourk has been blocked
from financially supporting Texas Democrats because of Ken Paxton. There's
one guy doing something right now, and I'll tell you
(11:27):
it's not John Cornyn. John Cornyn couldn't be doing less
The state senator senior Senator of Texas out here saying, oh.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I asked the FBI to go get him.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
And then the FBI put out a statement saying that's
not true.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Right, We never heard from the guy.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
The Texas Attorney General, Ken Paxton says he's filed suit
to remove thirteen absent state Democrats from office. You know,
you know, it's all part of this redistrict in fight.
Ken Paxton has done more than anyone. He's done more
than Abbott, He's done more than Cornyn. Certainly Dustin Burrows
is the Texas Speaker.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Of the House.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Over the weekend, I saw something we've seen before. Sometimes
you have to look it's just the timing of things.
There's all these conservative influencers on social media who never
talk about Texas state politics, and within thirty minutes of
each other, they all wrote almost the exact same tweet
about what a great job the Texas House Speaker Dustin
(12:22):
Burrows was doing.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Okay, and Dustin Burrows hasn't done anything. I was gonna say,
what has he done? Nothing? You know what?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
It was some maybe Dustin's mom, you know, or wife,
or somebody's blogger.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
I got to think somebody called them and said, hey,
how much money would it cost for you to write
a flattering tweet for the Texas House Speaker right now?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
It would be one.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Thing if like one or two of them did it
hours apart, but it was within the same hour period.
Word for word, they all said almost the exact same thing.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Well, maybe he wrote it and just sent it out right,
kind of the way Democrats always do. That's what they
do with the new I never would have.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Thought to call someone and offer them money to write
a tweet. But then I'm not a scumsucking parasite politician.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
You got that going for you. I just I know
it's a moot point. None of this is new.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
It's just the new cyber version of the same nonsense
that's been happening for decades. But you know, it bothers
me when people on the other side are disingenuous, but
knowing that we're aligned.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
With these people, it just leaves a bitter taste in
my mouth. Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Well, here's some words from the governor of Texas, tough talk.
If they show back up in the state of Texas,
they will be arrested and taken to the capital. But
you've said that many are already back in Texas. He
could do it right now, they did not. If they
want to evade that arrest, they'll have to stay outside
of the state of Texas for years.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Is Fort Worth in Houston? Is that outside the state
of Texas?
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Not?
Speaker 2 (13:50):
I believe it's right, smeck dab inside the state of Texas.
You're right, Mundy money. How was your weekend? Not nearly
long enough? Walton and Johnson Radio Network,
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