Star Wars Fails With Lesbian Witches - MON 8.1

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
What's the worst investment you ever made? Billy? I Uh, well,
probably a boat. Yeah, yeah, I used to have a
bass boat. It's better to have a friend to have
a boat. Sure, always everybody knows, but you know, learned
that the hard way as a young man. I didn't know.
Boat didn't really pay for it. So if it just
kept wanting more money.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Well for the people at Star Wars or I guess
I should say Disney. Disney the worst investment they ever made?
Who was Star Wars was Lesbian Witches?

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Oh wait what? Oh?

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Yeah, no, they spent a quarter of a billion dollars
on that flop lesbian witch star Wars series.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
I've never heard of such a thing, Lesbian Witches star Wars.
It was called The Acolyte. Never heard of it.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
And the Disney groomer, the child groomers at Disney spent
a quarter of a billion dollars. That's billion with a
bee as in boy, that's a lot of money. Boy,
it's a lot of money to produce the flop Star
Wars series, The Acolyte, and it's a basically about lesbian
space witches.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Apparently, the final.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Figure before tax credits and without marketing factored into a
staggering factored into a staggering two hundred and fifty four
million dollars according to public records documents.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Have they learned a lesson? Guys?

Speaker 2 (01:18):
It is such garbage. It was just complete. Did you
watch any of it? It was total crap. N you
looked at a minute of it. It's all about lesbian,
lesbian immaculate conception. What that's the thing they actually did.
There was a lesbian immaculate conception. The force is female
lesbian witches can create life using the thread, long before

(01:39):
dark Darth plegacies, according.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
To the explot I don't know what that means.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
This is what you get when you hand a guy
who thinks he's a girl two hundred and fifty four
million dollars and give him your Golden Goose franchise.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
Yeah. I didn't even finish the Mandalorian because it got
to the point where they were just being ridiculous too.
Started out pretty good. I don't know whatever happened to
that little little baby Yoda guy? Yeah, what the hell
happened to baby? Wasn't Yoda? That's the one thing they
kept trying to convince you there's there's more than one
being like Yoda from wherever they're from, and this one

(02:17):
was a different one.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, I'll just go ahead and climb out on a
limb here and I will guess that Yoda's probably trams
now or most likely here, And then it didn't Mark
Hamill plan to leave America for Europe after Trump beat
Kamala whise, he's still here.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
That's a good question. Beat it. Let what out of here?

Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yeah, Luke, you know these are not the droids you're
looking for. Grab your stuff, get out of Well, we're
talking about bad entertainment. Y' all ready for some bad bunny.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
He's the reggaetone artist from Puerto Rico right, well now
he is the twenty twenty six super Bowl halftime show performer. Really,
this is after Taylor's will apparently turned it down because
she didn't want to do it for free. The boney.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
This is all of joke, right, So that's what it's
going to be. Sorry that I was trying to find
a bad bunny song.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
There we go.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
This is what it's gonna sound like. This is going
to be the halftime show.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
I don't know a bad bunny song, not at my house.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Do you remember when in Living Color on Fox decided
they were going to do their own halftime thing, and yeah,
everybody watching the star everybody watching the Super.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Bowl left switch over to different channel.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
And the ratings were so fantastic that moving forward, the
NFL decided they were going to book big celebrities and
have a star studded halftime show. It was all because
another network stole their thunder. Didn't that seem like it'd
be the perfect year to do something like that again?
It does, because I don't know a bad bunny song.
I don't want to watch music in Spanish. I'd rather
watch you know.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
Well, is it partly because this next year the season's
Super Bowl is going to be in basically, says Go,
it's Santa Clara where the stadium is, but it's home
of the San Francisco forty nine ers. Yeah, but I
don't think about that as the Latino part of California.
It's not like it's in LA. They're gonna do something

(04:11):
a little different, you know, they're not going to be
the traditionalists as it were. And they do say that
Taylor Swift was the negotiations but turned it down, you know,
because the free thing. A music executive who didn't want
to be identified that she wasn't asking for favors, she
was just asking for respect. Taylor knows her worth, she

(04:32):
knows the kind of rating she brings, the global attention
that she commands, and she wasn't gonna do all that
for free. Well, to your.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
Point, I would have watched a few minutes of Taylor
out of curiosity.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
You're gonna look at that bad bunny crap? Are you?

Speaker 2 (04:46):
It's not in English? I don't you know, no offense,
but that's not for me. I don't get it. I
don't know a single song. I don't speak the language.
If you don't, then who the helled us? Exactly? People
even younger than you. Yeah, I guess somebody, right, Mexican
girls or who's you know?

Speaker 1 (05:02):
NFL is all about international now. They crap on the
American audience any chance they get. They won't hireland in
Brazil and Germany and everywhere else but America. All right,
So who's carrying the Super Bowl this year?

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Do we know?

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Is it Fox or ESPN or oh? Oh which network? Yeah? Yeah, well,
whoever it is.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
I gotta think this is a golden year for a
competing network to go out and recruit a bunch of comedians,
get Shane Gellis and post Malone and do your own halftimes.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
You should do it. Come on, why are you saying
other comedians when you have your own comedy special coming out?

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Oh you mean this Sunday Sunday at the Bad Astronaut
Brewing Company with the Walton Johnson Show at Chad Prather and.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Jesse Paton what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
You know, you can get tickets for that at Wheelchairs
for Warriors dot org right now if you want for free.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
Basically they're not on sale, but they're there for a donation.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, if you make a donation, a tax deductible donation
at Wheelchairs for Warriors dot org. You can come hang
with us this Sunday at five pm at the Bad
ashterro Nott Brewing Company for a night of healing through humor.
That's just a good time right there, top tier comedians,
unforgettable moments, and it's all for a very good cause.
We're gonna buy some wheelchairs. And what are they brew

(06:13):
there at this brewing company? That'd be beer, Yeah, like beer,
and they have food trucks and yeah, it's gonna be
a lot of fun. It is right near downtown Houston.
If you've never been before, it is a really cool
place to go see a comedy show at Last year
we sold out, and I don't know if we'll sell
out this year. We'd like to try. Totally happy to
do so. Yeah, we got tickets available right now. So

(06:34):
come hang with us Wheelchairs for Warriors dot Org. It's
gonna be a good time, and it's for America. Do
you like America? I will tell you we didn't book
any Spanish speaking comedians. A bad Bunny will not be
at bad Ash for not brewing company.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
That's good news, all right.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
So the White House has already instructed federal agencies to
plan for mass firings if Democrats shut down the government.
And this makes me so happy because no matter what happens,
I'm going to get something I want.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Either Trump can fund the government and continue to fulfill
his agenda, or the government shuts down and we fire
a bunch of people in the government that I don't
want to be there.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
P'bab be able to do that anyway.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
It is kind of awesome. Trump is playing four dimensional chess.
I've never seen a president do anything like this.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Before.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
Now we've got this issue with the budget crisis. Once
every nine months or whatever it is, we have to
have this discussion who's going to fund the government. I
feel like this isn't even the first budget crisis since
Trump took office.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
No, I don't think it is. It's like every six weeks.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
So Trump says, all right, well, Democrats want all these
bureaucrats to have jobs. They're the ones that want the
government funded. If they're not willing to fund the government,
they're the ones that lose.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
Here. Mike Johnson was on with Brett Behr last week
talking about it. So we've been.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
Working really hard to get the House back to the
regular appropriations order regular order, and we've achieved that in
the House, and a BYPARTI is in fashion. They passed
all twelve appropriations bills through the committee, three of them
off the floor. The Senate passed three bills. Remember the
old the old videos on Sunday Saturday mornings about how
a bill becomes a law if the House and the Senate.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
Did wait, does he not know what it is? I
don't think so, the old videos on Saturday Morning. But
are you talking about Schoolhouse Rock? I think he is
does he not know what it is?

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Now? I don't like him anymore. I couldn't think of
the name.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
I guess, Mike, come on, don't bring it up if
you don't know Schoolhouse Rock. You know how the thing
with a bill becomes a law on Saturday mornings?

Speaker 1 (08:23):
How does that happen? First of all, that was sixty
years ago.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Second of all, I don't think you even remember it,
Mike Johnson, or even alive. Then. Second of all, it's
called Schoolhouse Rock, all right? So I'm here for it.
I love this idea. And do you think we get
a government shutdown this week? What's gonna happen? Probably for
like a few hours, and then it'll get solved.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
They love to, you know, blame Trump and the Trump
administration for things, and this will just be something else
they can point at. Scream hollered, Rais Bell about happens
all the time. It does.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yeah, you're not wrong, And yet it never really affects anybody,
does it.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
In the meantime, what the hell is wrong with Dolly
Parton's It's not even October yet Dolly has postponed shows
in December. She's got show set in Vegas at Caesar's palace,
and she's got health issues and she needs to take
care of them. And that means the six shows in

(09:23):
December had to be canceled now and reschedule for September
next year. Wow, man, that sounds serious. And yet she
thinks she'll be okay by next year. Is it possible
she just doesn't want any of the show.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
She's possible putting it off like a like a load
of laundry, and I'm gonna put it on top of
the machine to remind me to do it next time
I walk in there. But I've got enough clothes already
in Q. As the British say is that.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
She's going to undergo several medical procedures, and she said
these are not cosmetic, as you know, she has had
some cosmetic enhancements I shouldn't look like. But she said
that they will keep her from being able to prepare
for her It's not that she won't be able to

(10:11):
actually perform by December, but she won't have time to
prepare and rehearse and develop the show for December, so
she's just not gonna do it.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Well, Look, I think we all agree Dolly Parton's a
national treasure.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
I hope she gets better.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
The one thing I do wonder though, is what plastic
surgery did she get.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
I don't see it. I know, I can't imagine. Now
I hear you guys lift, Maybe you should lift a book.
Welln and Johnson Show will be right back to our
listeners in Northwest Georgia. This affects you.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
I mean, it affects everyone, but it involves your local lawmaker.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
Oh boy, what are they doing?

Speaker 2 (10:45):
Marjorie Taylor Green has grown disillusioned with the Republican Party
and she is predicting an emerging MAGA split. Apparently, she
said that pretty soon MAGA is going to break up
and divorce themselves.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
And does she thinks shes going to be the leader
of this new split. It doesn't say.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
But women are always ready to split, aren't they. She
spouted groundless claims and racist remarks. According to The New
York Times.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
She's not done. She's not her best self these days.
Just a couple of years ago, we would chat with
her occasionally on the phone, and she seemed to most
of the time make some sense of things. But lately
I haven't seen her on the right side of much.
I don't agree that she's racist. According to The New
York Times.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
But I do feel like, you know, Marjorie Taylor Green
has maybe lost touch with the grassroots. And when I
say that, I mean she no longer does appearances on
this radio show.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah, that's probably her biggest fault right now. Yeah, what
did we do? Well, partly we don't need to air
the rantings of lunatics. Well, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
I think more so than you guys. I always liked
her voting record, but I will say that lately, I know,
lately that's what we have to work with lately. Not
what she said two or three years ago, but she
said yesterday. Sure, at one point you fell in love,
but then you and that person got a divorce.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
So you know what now, So has everybody in New
York City got their fingers crossed for Curtis Sliwah the
next mayor? Mayor Sleewah Guardian Angel.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
No, I think New York City's gonna go full on Marxism.
It's gonna go horribly. It's gonna cost a lot of money,
mainly because a lot of people were telling them not to.
New Yorkers especially.

Speaker 1 (12:24):
Nobody likes to be told no, but New Yorkers especially
like to bow up when somebody goes, well, you can't
vote for a communist, Well, you just watch us. Okay.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
We spent a lot of time talking about how bad
the government operated grocery stores sound. But some of his
other ideas are crazy too. He wants to put a
cap on the rent control departments, which means if you
own property there and you're thinking, oh, the property taxes
keep going up, I have to charge my tenants more.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
No, no, no, you can't do that.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
And then the other thing I thought was pretty wild
if you think about it, free public transportation. Now something's
completely free. Would you want to you know, that's how
that woman got stabbed in charge. They weren't charging people
to get on the train. Some homeless degenerate got on it.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
He lived there, basically, yeah, I mean he thought that
was his home, right exactly.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
He picked out the one white lady on the train
and he hacked her to death, and everyone else just
stood there and watched while the blood squirt it everywhere,
did nothing about it. She fell over and died. I
ask you, you know New York City in a post
Daniel Penny America. Is that a train system you'd trust
your family to get on not at all in the
peak hours of the day, would you get on that train?

Speaker 1 (13:28):
And it's sad that well, it's sad that Charlie Kirk
got assassinated. But if he hadn't, she would still be
in the news. But that was what's on everybody's mind
when suddenly something else happened. She was one of his
last tweets. You know, that's right.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
He was very upset about it. He said America will
never be the same again, and he was right, but
he didn't know how right he was. He certainly didn't
think he was going to be part of the story.
In the meantime home vision, suspect is stopped after a
victim v in himself using a samurai sword. Okay, yeah,
this just happened. I feel like as a hokey morning

(14:06):
radio d Josh should have probably played the appropriate music.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
Oh all right, it's not accurate, but I'll allow it.
The samurai belongs to the Japanese kung fu, as you know,
is Chinese. I don't know that difference. No, I know
you don't, but trust me, there is a difference me.
Marcus Armstrown.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
According to police, he's the suspect, age thirty five, attempted
to rob two people, a man and a woman, outside
of a home in Philadelphia. Investigators say the suspect forced
his way into the home, where he encountered the male victim.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Armed with a samurai sword. Not a victim after all,
was he?

Speaker 2 (14:47):
Detective Josh Samuel says the roommate defended himself, he had
the samurai sword and took a swipe at the suspect.
It was a pretty chaotic scene, he said. Officers followed
a trail of blood.

Speaker 1 (14:57):
Well, you say took a swipe. Did he hit him?
Did he cut him? Certainly series that way.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
Officers followed a trail of blood dotted with evidence from
the crime scene to where they found Armstrong. He was
found with a severe cut. He was transported to the
Penn Presbyterian Hospital, where he remained in stable condition. Investigators
believe this incident was a random crime of opportunity, saying
the suspect targeted the victims after seeing them exchange money outside.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
Uh huh, please say he had a fake gun.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
He now faces burglary and robbery chargers because just because
you had a fake gun doesn't mean it was a
fake crime.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
It was a real crime. That's right, if fake gun
doesn't do much against a real samarass ord, even if
the guy didn't know how to use it properly, because
if he'd known how to use it properly, the guy
would have lost an arm, or a leg or a head,
because that's what you do with a samaras ord, yet
chop stuff off.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
Maybe he was showing the guy in compassion. He just
sliced him up a little instead of taking off one
of his limbs.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
You know, it was just probably not really trained at it.
He just got a sword. Probably one of those guys
that just thinks he's tough in the back yard. But
what are you gonna do when somebody comes at you?

Speaker 2 (16:02):
Bell?

Speaker 1 (16:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (16:03):
Do you speak as though you are coming from some
position of authority.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
I wouldn't know anything about it exactly, but let's just say,
my boy, Billy A junior, has he a sword collection?
Is that right? How many? Yeah? How many swords does
he have? It would look it might seem weird to
you if I just came out and said you got
like twenty eight swords? You know, but if I told
you he's been collecting swords over the years, and he

(16:29):
started out with one or two and then he you know,
he got ten and then he got eighteen, and then
I was like, it's probably you know, even when he
was a boy, he always wanted to collect stuff. I
wanted them hot wheel cars. They had hot wheel cars
when I was a kid. They were like a dollar
and my dad didn't didn't think I should have more
than about six of them. After that, you're wasting your money.

(16:49):
That's ridiculous. Why does he eat all those samurai swords?
I mean, it's not all samurai swords. It's now like
it's a synthesizer, you know, right, yeah, that would be understandable.
I mean, are you you know, well almost thirty really yeah,
I got a few dozen't you know? Okay, so you know,
maybe it's just people of a certain age that just
like to collect weird things. How many guns do you have,

(17:10):
Bill yet?

Speaker 3 (17:11):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (17:11):
None?

Speaker 2 (17:12):
None? No, none, mister Kenneth.

Speaker 1 (17:15):
How many wigs do you own? Technically I don't own them.
The hair salon owns them. Yeah, my corporation through Headshed International. Wait, wait,
were your wigs attacks right off? Of course? Am I
understanding this correctly? What's the problem with that? Were your synthesizers?

Speaker 2 (17:37):
Well, it depends because it's in a piece of audio equipment.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
And if you ever made in the audio out of
them and played it on the show, that's a deduction.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
It depends which they're not all the same. Some of
them are work synthesizers, some of them are play synthesizers.
They're not all the same. Some of them I use
to produce audio for the show. Okay, you know that's
my right to do that as an American. Yeah, thanks mister,
Oh thanks having my back. Do you know I got you?

Speaker 1 (18:02):
My boy boy? What do you collect, mister? Any anything?
You know? Cars? I got chicks? You clack collect chicks.
Wouldn't it be better to just cash those checks? So
I collect them and then cash them? Multiple income streams,
that's how you roll. How many income streams do you have? Multiple? Okay,
you are getting very nosy. I'm just curious. In the meantime,

(18:23):
I saw a funny story a minute ago on TV
and I found it now on the internet because they
weren't giving a lot of details. A lady that was
protesting ice forgot to put her car in park when
she got out, and she stopped the car right there
at the edge of a lake. Of course, while she's

(18:48):
raging about ice. The car rolled off into the lake
and started thinking.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
I love this news story to happen in Upton, Massachusetts.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
And it looked just like that in the office. Michael
followed the directions of the car and drove into the water.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
And so apparently the Homeland Security Department of Homeland Security
on X decided to weigh in. They posted an image
of the car and they said you can't park there
on their ex account, once again proving following Donald Trump's
federal government on social media is more fun than following
any professional comedian these days.

Speaker 1 (19:25):
That is hilarious. In the car just slowly drifting further
and further out into the lake as it starts to
also drift deeper and deeper into the water.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
How can comedy writers compete with reality in twenty twenty five?

Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yeah, you just have to sit back and watch the
real world.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah, that being said our comedy show on this October Fest.

Speaker 1 (19:46):
You get to work good out for you, don't you. Yeah,
we're working on it.

Speaker 2 (19:49):
Tickets available, wheelchairs for Warriors dot Org. I mean, it's
not as funny as a liberal accidentally driving her car
into a pond while she was mad at Ice, but
it's adjacent to it.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
I'm just asking for eight ball and two million dollars.
This is the Walton and Johnson Show.