Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I learned something really interesting about Facebook over the weekend.
But before I tell the story, we kind of need
to get Billy D in here. He needs to hear
this all right down now that's just hitting this way.
What's up on your mind? There? I can never see
behind this the TV monitor here. I'm always if you're bad,
But yeah, I hear your voice, Billy D. Is that
I'll flat over this way a little bit. All right,
there you go, Hey, what's up, buddy? Scared you? No,
(00:22):
you're no. It's good that you're here for this. This
is important. I got an answer to a question we've
wondered for a while over the weekend. What happened to
Mark Zuckerberg? Do you remember how he used to be
like a beta little bitch fruit loop and then all
of a sudden he was wearing gold chains and he
was wearing you know, fitted apparel, and he was doing
(00:42):
M M A and UFC and working out and he
liked Trump.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
All of a sudden, is he dating Colored and Kaepernick
six's girlfriend?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Now, no, no, no, no, I think that would have had
the opposite turned up.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Most of these a young pantywaist little wieners. They start
dating and some cheek or maybe some dude like that
guy that killed Charlie. They started dating somebody and that
changes who they are.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yeah, Mark Zuckerberg is just different. Now. All of a sudden,
he's ripped, he's got muscles. I think it was last
summer we first saw this image of Mark Zuckerberg where
he was being interviewed and they asked him what he
thought about the Trump assassination. And you know, this is
the reason we had the term zucker Bucks. This guy
(01:28):
would go around the country funding Democrats and then all
of a sudden he didn't want to anymore.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
I've done some stuff personally in the past. I'm not
planning on doing that this time. And that includes, you know,
not endorsing either of the candidates. Now, look, there's obviously
a lot of crazy stuff going on in the world.
I mean the historic events over the last like over
the weekend, and I mean, on a personal note, it's yeah,
I mean, seeing Donald Trump get get up after getting
(01:54):
shot in the face and pump his fist in the
air with the American flag is one of the most
badass things I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Powerful stuff. Yeah, and that was over a year ago.
Since then, he has become Trump's ally and his friend,
and a lot of us wondered what the heck happened
to him. Well, I was actually hanging around with some
people from Meta last weekend. I'm not gonna throw anyone
under the bus, but there was this study conducted not
long ago about how an increased level of testosterone pushes
(02:24):
people further to the right. Do you remember hearing about this? Yes,
I am told under good authority. Now I don't know
if this is true because I'm not his doctor, and
I you know, nobody's violating HIPPA notices here or anything.
But apparently Mark Zuckerberg now takes t shots and it
made him more conservative? Is that right? Does that shock
you to learn that? Well?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
No, I guess whatever takes. You know, we got him there.
Is it gonna laugh though? What if he knocks off
the shots? Yeah, I mean what happens? Great question? And
you get those gay hips coming back, you know, because
all that astrogen.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
All of a sudden, this guy started to take a testosterone,
working out with a personal trainer, taking MMA lessons, hanging
out with UFC fighters, wearing cold chains. He got a
new haircut, He started wearing clothes that fit correctly. Everybody's like,
who is this guy? He's grown up right in front
of us, that's all. He was just a little little slow,
you know, to catch up. That's all all right. So
(03:18):
here's my idea. If testosteroning boosted makes people more reasonable. Like,
is that what happened to Fetterman when he went away
to Walter Reid Hospital and what they did to him? Man,
they might have give him a new brain, I mean exactly.
But what if they just gave him some testosterone and
it made him normal? Now we're taking the fluoride out
of the water. Bill. Yeah, do you see where I'm
going with this?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Okay, No, well we could we could replace that fluoride
with something. Okay, why don't we put some testosterone in
the drinking water. I know I can't drink anymore? Why not?
I mean if I get like, you know, if.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
My testosterone goes any higher, you know, the doctor's warn
that I may just become too manly for this planet.
Well you just might have to find a man lyer
planet to hang out somewhere.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
I get your point. But maybe just you know, drink
a reasonable amount of the water and then you could
have bottled water or something. Okay, we'll see. The concern
here would be what about women. You don't want them
all to have hairy chests and stuff, right, And it's like, yeah,
that would be kind of gross. Like looking at Jasmine
Crockett and AOC in the last few months here, do.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
You notice how these girls have really ballooned up. I
did point that out yesterday. I was trying to be nice,
you know, I didn't want to just come out and say,
you know, they've really really got fat. And I don't know,
there's some women out there who hate it if you
tell them they're fat. But women don't ever have a
problem holding back on men. Oh yeah, oh he's short,
(04:43):
Oh he's bald, he's fat, he doesn't make enough money.
You know, they got a lot of complaints about men,
and they're fine with all of them. But it's kind
of like democrats when Republicans turn it on them, when
men go, well, yeah, you know, well she's she's gotten
a lot. They have gained a lot of weight. Just
an observation. It's before and after. Look at her from
two years ago, look at her today.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Got fat. Somebody wrote an angry email to one of
our affiliates, Well, that's not news about us talking about
Jasmin and AOC yesterday, which was about fifty seconds of
the show.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
We got angry emails every day. Some of them come
to us and some of them go to the people
that run in the stations that were on syndicated across
the Gulf South.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
So the program director replied, and the person that was
offended got the whole conversation wrong other than one thing.
They heard us say that Jasmin and AOC were getting fatter,
and they are. And by the way, obesity is one
of the number one causes of death in this country.
I don't celebrate death. I want everyone to live a long,
healthy life. And don't forget it's okay to lie to
your audience NonStop if you feel like it.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I mean, Jimmy Kimmel, Yeah yeah, I mean, they reward
them for doing stuff like that, but we are telling
them that you try to make fifteen or thirty or
eighty million dollars a year. I don't really care if
it do or not, but you know, it's just a
way to keep score. I want to make fifty million
dollars a year, and if lying to your audience is
how you do it, didn't let's just follow the mainstream
(06:11):
media's roadmap they laid out for us.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well, then maybe we should say AOC and Jasmine are skinny.
They're getting skinny. Look how skinny they are. Someone needs
to make them a sandwich.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Now.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I would never recommend a woman make that sandwich. That
would be grossly offensive. Obviously a man should make the sandwich. Yeah. Anyway,
our program director of one of our most important affiliates.
I'm not going to say his name because we didn't.
I don't know if we didn't ask his permission first,
he probably wouldn't care.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Anyway, I'm sure you wouldn't, but you know it won't
mean much to the average listener.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, so he emailed the person back. He was super polite.
He talked about the First Amendment and free speech and
that the show's a little edgy, and he also politely
explained that the woman got the conversation wrong. She kind of,
and somehow he tricked her into going back and listening
to it again. And she was still offended, but at
least this time she got the d tales of the conversation.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
She realized where she had made the error. It was
a listening mistake. She wasn't paying attention. I was really
impressed at how he did it. I just think, yeah,
well he's a good guy.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Man. That is pretty funny, dude. Good for you anyway.
Just a few things we tell you on this radio
show that we're pretty consistent on. Number One, words actually
cannot hurt you. You know, even if Jimmy Kimmel said
something you don't like, just don't listen, change a channel.
Number Two, bullets can hurt you. And we're very much
against innocent people being hurt or murdered in any capacity, stabbed,
(07:36):
beaten to death with a hammer, sucked out of a
womb with a vacuum cleaner. We generally are against these things.
So yeah, and more often than not. And because words
are just words, sometimes we make jokes about things that
people are touchy about. But to prove a point, after
you hear those words, you're still alive. Everyone survived. It's okay.
(07:56):
Look at that. Yeah you're still okay. You made it.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Uh, And we near we really need to do put
a T shirt out that just says, show me on
the doll where the words where we hurt you, Where
the words hurt your feeling?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, you're right about that words actually will not hurt you.
What will hurt you is putting ketchup on a hot dog.
We're thoroughly against that. That is everyone on the show agrees,
and we all agree that quacamole and blue cheese are
delicious that we love to eat them.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Also, pregnant Woman stopped pounding tail and all down like
at em and m's knock it off? Okay, oh yeah,
why they keep giving the The Trump administration has come
out with this title and all warning. I doubt Trump
has his own scientists in a laboratory somewhere investigating autism
and its causes, but he has made the announcement according
(08:52):
to their research. You know, pregnant woman ought not take
thailand all because of the the what's the stuff in it?
To see this something that's the one? Yeah, but I
pray lean about this. I said, you take tylan all
you know when you was pregnant? She goes, oh, hell no,
people knew a long time way back before I had kids,
(09:14):
She said, we knew not to not to do that.
There's a lot of stuff you ought not to do
when you're pregnant. Of course people still do it, smoking, drinking,
doing drugs. You know, robbing liquor stores and driving fast
and jumping out of airplanes.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Probably do not do that. Pregnant women can't jump out of airplanes.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
No, really, you know apparently the updraft, you know, will
affect the fetus.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Wow, I had not It gets windy in that tunnel.
It's amazing. The show is going to be the greatest show.
I've got a great two for Tuesday. It must be
two for Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah, that too for Tuesday special Walton and Johnson doing shaking.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Okay, let's call it that. What do you mean she
was shaking? She was shaking epilepsy? I guess, I don't know.
Is it possible she just had too much tilan All
effective Immediately, the FDA will be notifying physicians at the
use of I said, well, say.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
That menifin to see I didn't know how to say
it neither.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
That is basically commonly known as thailand all.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
He can be associated with a very increased risk of autism.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Now this might surprise you. Hold on to something.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
The makers, the makers of Thailand all said, what all
that stuff? He said, no, no, uh no, Billy, And
I really I don't try to wax intellectual and stuff.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
I don't know anything about it. I don't know any
I've never had a kid, I've never given birth. You know,
men can give birth now, but I haven't. You haven't
decided to do that yet, kind of like skydiving. I
just hear you're.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Talking about it though, you're in talks with the possibility
of maybe getting pregnant.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I mean, if I could find someone who been pregnant,
me sure, But I mean that's hard to do these days.
I don't look at me with all the vaccinated gentlemen
out there. All right, but riddle me this, because you
have kids here, you're you had a you have a wife.
You ever there's a keep reminding me. Thank sorry, Billy. Yet,
did she was that a thing back when your kids
were born? Don't take titling on when you're pregnant.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah, did you miss the whole last segment of the show.
But I just didn't know that, and I wanted to
read you ten minutes ago. But it's always been a thing.
We even knew way back then. Well she did. I
didn't really worry about it because I don't get pregnant.
Uh yeah, just yesterday about this titland all thing and autism,
and she said, I don't know about the autism thing,
but she knew better than to take title at all
(11:49):
when she was pregnant. Well, apparently, why don't we ask
your mom if she took titlan all when when she
was pregnant.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yeah, we could call her right now on the air.
The problem is it'll take her five or ten minutes
to answer that question, and I don't know if you
could handle it. If she's Italian. If you think I'm
a little long in the tiarth, have you met my mom?
She's lovely. But Kennedy didn't even get the insult.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
No, I took a shot and then you didn't even
It's almost no fun picking on you if you don't care.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Well, I've been getting picked on my whole life. I
can imagine I'm forty three. Now do you think I care? No,
you could say any terrible thing about me you want to?
You are? Your whole body is a callous Well, yeah,
it's like spicy food. Yeah I've been You can't.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Tongue has killed all your taste buds years ago. When
you go to the tie restaurant, now get five? Yeah, yeah,
what what spice? What amount of heat do you want?
I'm a two or three. Kiddies go like, do you
have anything higher than five? Five plus would be good
for me. I was with a woman that ordered that
(12:52):
one time at a restaurant, just like what heat you know?
And she goes five yeah, And they tried to talk
her out of it, and then finally they wrote that
she goes good luck.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
That's not a great way to start a meal. I
don't need the spiciest thing. I usually want the second
spiciest thing. The thing I don't get is this. And
I've asked you this question before, and I know you
don't know the answer, But how is it? I don't know.
I could build up a tollerant? Thanks billiure you said
I didn't know. I know, how is it? I could
build up a tolerance for it when it's going in?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah, but it's still hard to numb that exit, ain't it?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
How is that? How it doesn't make any sense to me.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Is why you always order ice cream for dessert Mexican restaurants.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Bro. That's a good point. And you know what I
don't get about that is the deep fried ice cream?
How is tricky? Ain't it? How's it still frozen?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I was just telling somebody about that this past weekend,
because we went to a Mexican food restaurant and then
we didn't get dessert, and I'm like, you know, they
had fried ice cream on the me and You're like, oh,
we got to go, we gotta go, we gotta move
on it. You know, we don't want to get fat
like AOC. Right, So now I get it, she said,
our jazzmine.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Wow, really, they're just pulling up to that buffet at
that that trough they get to. By the way, bacon
wrap shrimp is not a diet food, no, and they
are just porking out on that stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Absolutely no. That's the whole reason we have this music.
That's how you know when you hear that music, that's
how you know seeing jazz winter coming. So what were
we talking about? Ice ice cream? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
The first time I ever had fried ice cream Mexican
restaurant in New Orleans might have been cuckos. I don't
know for sure, it's been. It was like forty years ago.
And I never had fried ice cream before. Young man.
You know, didn't get out too much and Mama didn't
make it at home.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Sure it's not a white person does. Yeah. And then
I was like, how the hell do they do that?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Drop a bunch of ice cream in a deep fry
vat you think it's just gonna melt, but nope, you
know how they do it?
Speaker 1 (14:49):
How do they do it? This secret? You know?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I made my way to the kitchen to check with
some of the people that worked there. Let me guess
Latin X magic, yes, yes, a little voodoo, some Caribbean mojo.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
And also they freeze the ball of ice cream, freeze
it solid, not you know, like ice cream is already frozen.
That's the point. They freeze it really hard, and then
they wrap it up and whatever they're going to fry
it in bread or something. I think it's a cinnamon
toast crunch and they drop it in and so it
(15:28):
starts to thaw out, but then it gets all crusty
on the outside, so it can't get away.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Okay, it's a trick.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yeah, but these professional chefs many they're tricky about that stuff.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Wait. I had Persian food yesterday. It's delicious, but you
mean Iranian. Yes, it's the same thing. And then they
like you to call.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
It Persia because Iranian stuff scares peopball.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
It is really good, it's basically like a cross between
Greek food and it's a kind of Mediterranean mixed with Indian.
That's besides the point. When dessert comes, say no, I
made this mistake so many times, had an Iranian dessert.
Oh the dessert. I think that's why they're so angry
their desserts there. Their food is delicious, but then when
dessert comes, there's nothing to make you happy before you
(16:11):
leave the restaurant. This hurts. They said they have a
they're famous for this thing. It's an ice cream sandwich.
And I made the mistake of ordering at once yesterday.
The waitress asked me if I wanted it, and I
said it's Isn't it like a turmeric ice cream sandwich?
And she has got a tumor in it? No turmeric, bill, Yeah,
it's a spice. And just say see the metaphin. I
see it, the medaphin. I say it like trump pseudo pseudo.
(16:33):
I like he's looking around, doctor ols. How do you
say this? So I said to the woman, isn't it
a tumeric ice cream sandwich? He says, no, it's saffron.
And I was like that seems worse. Yeah, that don't
that don't sound tasty at all? Why don't you put
a favor of chocolate caramel? Have I heard any you know? Cinnamon?
That's all good stuff right there? Yeah? What's wrong with
(16:55):
apple pie? Alamode? I don't dessert was? We had it mastered,
we had it for out, and then you guys came
over here from your the Ayatola told you that these
were the Sharia compliant desserts and they're just not good.
Has the iyatola ever been happy before? Why are you
taking dessert advice from a guy who thinks women should
wear bags on their heads and he's offended by bikinis.
(17:16):
I don't care, especially if you tasted it. You know, okay,
well we'll we'll take his suggestion on dessert.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Let's taste it, and then you eat it and you're like, okay, well,
we're never listening to him about food again.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
When the dessert menu comes, I don't ever look at
the waitress and say, do you have something that tastes
like hot garbage? But it's frozen? M that does sound tasty,
doesn't it? No, it's not good. Are you still doing
your culinary moments? Well?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
We were so fascinating to hear you guys, with no
culinary skills whatsoever.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
What are you gussing food? What are you going to
tell us about keto or something? I was actually going
to read an email for you.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Okay, since you guys seem to be having a lot
of fun calling women fat this morning.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
No, just two women specifically, and not even because like
I like a big girl. I don't have a problem
with it, but AOC and Jasmine it which is not
necessarily that they are fat.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
They're not like Lizzo. They're just fatter than they used
to be. It's a comparison thing. They're they're growing.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Well. Communism pays well if you're in Washington, d c.
It doesn't pay well if you live outside of the capitol.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
But well, Vinny emailed at Walton Jonathon dot comedy. He
started out his email with this headline for us, My
fat hen is clocking. My wife is a loyal listener
of your show, but you may want to lay off
the fat jokes a little. She's no spring chicken. She's
kind of a plump little hen with a heart of gold,
(18:41):
of course, and she is starting to squawk a bit. Well,
just no, until Vinnie's old lady, it ain't about her
it ain't about Jasmine or anybody else. It's a woman
got mad at us yesterday up in northwest Georgia because
we just pointed out that the girls are growing and
her name is April. April was very upset and so
(19:05):
we're just trying to calm her down by making more
fat jokes. Wow, we think, well, she'll build up a
callus yeah, and she won't be quite so sensitive anymore
or butt hurt as some people like to say.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
But I would never say that about April. No, you
could put a little more chilula on your omelet every
day and at some point you'll it's amazing how much
chilula you can handle.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
And halopeno's, I mean, you know, I can't remember when
I was a kid, I thought jalapeno pepper about the
hottest dang thing you'd ever eat.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Stay away from that.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
It's got hallopenos and now, like like eating candy, it's
like black peppery.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, you know what I will say this. Anyone that's
ever written us an angry email about a physical attribute
that we made fun of on the air, do you
know what I immediately assume about that person? What you know,
fantastical Tuesday, Walton and Johnson Radio Network
I learned something really interesting about Facebook over the weekend.
But before I tell the story, we kind of need
to get Billy D in here. He needs to hear
this all right down now that's just hitting this way.
What's up on your mind? There? I can never see
behind this the TV monitor here. I'm always if you're bad,
But yeah, I hear your voice, Billy D. Is that
I'll flat over this way a little bit. All right,
there you go, Hey, what's up, buddy? Scared you? No,
(00:22):
you're no. It's good that you're here for this. This
is important. I got an answer to a question we've
wondered for a while over the weekend. What happened to
Mark Zuckerberg? Do you remember how he used to be
like a beta little bitch fruit loop and then all
of a sudden he was wearing gold chains and he
was wearing you know, fitted apparel, and he was doing
(00:42):
M M A and UFC and working out and he
liked Trump.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
All of a sudden, is he dating Colored and Kaepernick
six's girlfriend?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Now, no, no, no, no, I think that would have had
the opposite turned up.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Most of these a young pantywaist little wieners. They start
dating and some cheek or maybe some dude like that
guy that killed Charlie. They started dating somebody and that
changes who they are.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yeah, Mark Zuckerberg is just different. Now. All of a sudden,
he's ripped, he's got muscles. I think it was last
summer we first saw this image of Mark Zuckerberg where
he was being interviewed and they asked him what he
thought about the Trump assassination. And you know, this is
the reason we had the term zucker Bucks. This guy
(01:28):
would go around the country funding Democrats and then all
of a sudden he didn't want to anymore.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
I've done some stuff personally in the past. I'm not
planning on doing that this time. And that includes, you know,
not endorsing either of the candidates. Now, look, there's obviously
a lot of crazy stuff going on in the world.
I mean the historic events over the last like over
the weekend, and I mean, on a personal note, it's yeah,
I mean, seeing Donald Trump get get up after getting
(01:54):
shot in the face and pump his fist in the
air with the American flag is one of the most
badass things I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Powerful stuff. Yeah, and that was over a year ago.
Since then, he has become Trump's ally and his friend,
and a lot of us wondered what the heck happened
to him. Well, I was actually hanging around with some
people from Meta last weekend. I'm not gonna throw anyone
under the bus, but there was this study conducted not
long ago about how an increased level of testosterone pushes
(02:24):
people further to the right. Do you remember hearing about this? Yes,
I am told under good authority. Now I don't know
if this is true because I'm not his doctor, and
I you know, nobody's violating HIPPA notices here or anything.
But apparently Mark Zuckerberg now takes t shots and it
made him more conservative? Is that right? Does that shock
you to learn that? Well?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
No, I guess whatever takes. You know, we got him there.
Is it gonna laugh though? What if he knocks off
the shots? Yeah, I mean what happens? Great question? And
you get those gay hips coming back, you know, because
all that astrogen.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
All of a sudden, this guy started to take a testosterone,
working out with a personal trainer, taking MMA lessons, hanging
out with UFC fighters, wearing cold chains. He got a
new haircut, He started wearing clothes that fit correctly. Everybody's like,
who is this guy? He's grown up right in front
of us, that's all. He was just a little little slow,
you know, to catch up. That's all all right. So
(03:18):
here's my idea. If testosteroning boosted makes people more reasonable. Like,
is that what happened to Fetterman when he went away
to Walter Reid Hospital and what they did to him? Man,
they might have give him a new brain, I mean exactly.
But what if they just gave him some testosterone and
it made him normal? Now we're taking the fluoride out
of the water. Bill. Yeah, do you see where I'm
going with this?
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Okay, No, well we could we could replace that fluoride
with something. Okay, why don't we put some testosterone in
the drinking water. I know I can't drink anymore? Why not?
I mean if I get like, you know, if.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
My testosterone goes any higher, you know, the doctor's warn
that I may just become too manly for this planet.
Well you just might have to find a man lyer
planet to hang out somewhere.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
I get your point. But maybe just you know, drink
a reasonable amount of the water and then you could
have bottled water or something. Okay, we'll see. The concern
here would be what about women. You don't want them
all to have hairy chests and stuff, right, And it's like, yeah,
that would be kind of gross. Like looking at Jasmine
Crockett and AOC in the last few months here, do.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
You notice how these girls have really ballooned up. I
did point that out yesterday. I was trying to be nice,
you know, I didn't want to just come out and say,
you know, they've really really got fat. And I don't know,
there's some women out there who hate it if you
tell them they're fat. But women don't ever have a
problem holding back on men. Oh yeah, oh he's short,
(04:43):
Oh he's bald, he's fat, he doesn't make enough money.
You know, they got a lot of complaints about men,
and they're fine with all of them. But it's kind
of like democrats when Republicans turn it on them, when
men go, well, yeah, you know, well she's she's gotten
a lot. They have gained a lot of weight. Just
an observation. It's before and after. Look at her from
two years ago, look at her today.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Got fat. Somebody wrote an angry email to one of
our affiliates, Well, that's not news about us talking about
Jasmin and AOC yesterday, which was about fifty seconds of
the show.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
We got angry emails every day. Some of them come
to us and some of them go to the people
that run in the stations that were on syndicated across
the Gulf South.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
So the program director replied, and the person that was
offended got the whole conversation wrong other than one thing.
They heard us say that Jasmin and AOC were getting fatter,
and they are. And by the way, obesity is one
of the number one causes of death in this country.
I don't celebrate death. I want everyone to live a long,
healthy life. And don't forget it's okay to lie to
your audience NonStop if you feel like it.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I mean, Jimmy Kimmel, Yeah yeah, I mean, they reward
them for doing stuff like that, but we are telling
them that you try to make fifteen or thirty or
eighty million dollars a year. I don't really care if
it do or not, but you know, it's just a
way to keep score. I want to make fifty million
dollars a year, and if lying to your audience is
how you do it, didn't let's just follow the mainstream
(06:11):
media's roadmap they laid out for us.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well, then maybe we should say AOC and Jasmine are skinny.
They're getting skinny. Look how skinny they are. Someone needs
to make them a sandwich.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Now.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I would never recommend a woman make that sandwich. That
would be grossly offensive. Obviously a man should make the sandwich. Yeah. Anyway,
our program director of one of our most important affiliates.
I'm not going to say his name because we didn't.
I don't know if we didn't ask his permission first,
he probably wouldn't care.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Anyway, I'm sure you wouldn't, but you know it won't
mean much to the average listener.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, so he emailed the person back. He was super polite.
He talked about the First Amendment and free speech and
that the show's a little edgy, and he also politely
explained that the woman got the conversation wrong. She kind of,
and somehow he tricked her into going back and listening
to it again. And she was still offended, but at
least this time she got the d tales of the conversation.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
She realized where she had made the error. It was
a listening mistake. She wasn't paying attention. I was really
impressed at how he did it. I just think, yeah,
well he's a good guy.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Man. That is pretty funny, dude. Good for you anyway.
Just a few things we tell you on this radio
show that we're pretty consistent on. Number One, words actually
cannot hurt you. You know, even if Jimmy Kimmel said
something you don't like, just don't listen, change a channel.
Number Two, bullets can hurt you. And we're very much
against innocent people being hurt or murdered in any capacity, stabbed,
(07:36):
beaten to death with a hammer, sucked out of a
womb with a vacuum cleaner. We generally are against these things.
So yeah, and more often than not. And because words
are just words, sometimes we make jokes about things that
people are touchy about. But to prove a point, after
you hear those words, you're still alive. Everyone survived. It's okay.
(07:56):
Look at that. Yeah you're still okay. You made it.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Uh, And we near we really need to do put
a T shirt out that just says, show me on
the doll where the words where we hurt you, Where
the words hurt your feeling?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, you're right about that words actually will not hurt you.
What will hurt you is putting ketchup on a hot dog.
We're thoroughly against that. That is everyone on the show agrees,
and we all agree that quacamole and blue cheese are
delicious that we love to eat them.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Also, pregnant Woman stopped pounding tail and all down like
at em and m's knock it off? Okay, oh yeah,
why they keep giving the The Trump administration has come
out with this title and all warning. I doubt Trump
has his own scientists in a laboratory somewhere investigating autism
and its causes, but he has made the announcement according
(08:52):
to their research. You know, pregnant woman ought not take
thailand all because of the the what's the stuff in it?
To see this something that's the one? Yeah, but I
pray lean about this. I said, you take tylan all
you know when you was pregnant? She goes, oh, hell no,
people knew a long time way back before I had kids,
(09:14):
She said, we knew not to not to do that.
There's a lot of stuff you ought not to do
when you're pregnant. Of course people still do it, smoking, drinking,
doing drugs. You know, robbing liquor stores and driving fast
and jumping out of airplanes.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Probably do not do that. Pregnant women can't jump out of airplanes.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
No, really, you know apparently the updraft, you know, will
affect the fetus.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Wow, I had not It gets windy in that tunnel.
It's amazing. The show is going to be the greatest show.
I've got a great two for Tuesday. It must be
two for Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah, that too for Tuesday special Walton and Johnson doing shaking.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Okay, let's call it that. What do you mean she
was shaking? She was shaking epilepsy? I guess, I don't know.
Is it possible she just had too much tilan All
effective Immediately, the FDA will be notifying physicians at the
use of I said, well, say.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
That menifin to see I didn't know how to say
it neither.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
That is basically commonly known as thailand all.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
He can be associated with a very increased risk of autism.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Now this might surprise you. Hold on to something.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
The makers, the makers of Thailand all said, what all
that stuff? He said, no, no, uh no, Billy, And
I really I don't try to wax intellectual and stuff.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
I don't know anything about it. I don't know any
I've never had a kid, I've never given birth. You know,
men can give birth now, but I haven't. You haven't
decided to do that yet, kind of like skydiving. I
just hear you're.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Talking about it though, you're in talks with the possibility
of maybe getting pregnant.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I mean, if I could find someone who been pregnant,
me sure, But I mean that's hard to do these days.
I don't look at me with all the vaccinated gentlemen
out there. All right, but riddle me this, because you
have kids here, you're you had a you have a wife.
You ever there's a keep reminding me. Thank sorry, Billy. Yet,
did she was that a thing back when your kids
were born? Don't take titling on when you're pregnant.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah, did you miss the whole last segment of the show.
But I just didn't know that, and I wanted to
read you ten minutes ago. But it's always been a thing.
We even knew way back then. Well she did. I
didn't really worry about it because I don't get pregnant.
Uh yeah, just yesterday about this titland all thing and autism,
and she said, I don't know about the autism thing,
but she knew better than to take title at all
(11:49):
when she was pregnant. Well, apparently, why don't we ask
your mom if she took titlan all when when she
was pregnant.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yeah, we could call her right now on the air.
The problem is it'll take her five or ten minutes
to answer that question, and I don't know if you
could handle it. If she's Italian. If you think I'm
a little long in the tiarth, have you met my mom?
She's lovely. But Kennedy didn't even get the insult.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
No, I took a shot and then you didn't even
It's almost no fun picking on you if you don't care.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Well, I've been getting picked on my whole life. I
can imagine I'm forty three. Now do you think I care? No,
you could say any terrible thing about me you want to?
You are? Your whole body is a callous Well, yeah,
it's like spicy food. Yeah I've been You can't.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Tongue has killed all your taste buds years ago. When
you go to the tie restaurant, now get five? Yeah, yeah,
what what spice? What amount of heat do you want?
I'm a two or three. Kiddies go like, do you
have anything higher than five? Five plus would be good
for me. I was with a woman that ordered that
(12:52):
one time at a restaurant, just like what heat you know?
And she goes five yeah, And they tried to talk
her out of it, and then finally they wrote that
she goes good luck.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
That's not a great way to start a meal. I
don't need the spiciest thing. I usually want the second
spiciest thing. The thing I don't get is this. And
I've asked you this question before, and I know you
don't know the answer, But how is it? I don't know.
I could build up a tollerant? Thanks billiure you said
I didn't know. I know, how is it? I could
build up a tolerance for it when it's going in?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah, but it's still hard to numb that exit, ain't it?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
How is that? How it doesn't make any sense to me.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Is why you always order ice cream for dessert Mexican restaurants.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Bro. That's a good point. And you know what I
don't get about that is the deep fried ice cream?
How is tricky? Ain't it? How's it still frozen?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
I was just telling somebody about that this past weekend,
because we went to a Mexican food restaurant and then
we didn't get dessert, and I'm like, you know, they
had fried ice cream on the me and You're like, oh,
we got to go, we gotta go, we gotta move
on it. You know, we don't want to get fat
like AOC. Right, So now I get it, she said,
our jazzmine.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Wow, really, they're just pulling up to that buffet at
that that trough they get to. By the way, bacon
wrap shrimp is not a diet food, no, and they
are just porking out on that stuff.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Absolutely no. That's the whole reason we have this music.
That's how you know when you hear that music, that's
how you know seeing jazz winter coming. So what were
we talking about? Ice ice cream? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
The first time I ever had fried ice cream Mexican
restaurant in New Orleans might have been cuckos. I don't
know for sure, it's been. It was like forty years ago.
And I never had fried ice cream before. Young man.
You know, didn't get out too much and Mama didn't
make it at home.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Sure it's not a white person does. Yeah. And then
I was like, how the hell do they do that?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Drop a bunch of ice cream in a deep fry
vat you think it's just gonna melt, but nope, you
know how they do it?
Speaker 1 (14:49):
How do they do it? This secret? You know?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I made my way to the kitchen to check with
some of the people that worked there. Let me guess
Latin X magic, yes, yes, a little voodoo, some Caribbean mojo.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
And also they freeze the ball of ice cream, freeze
it solid, not you know, like ice cream is already frozen.
That's the point. They freeze it really hard, and then
they wrap it up and whatever they're going to fry
it in bread or something. I think it's a cinnamon
toast crunch and they drop it in and so it
(15:28):
starts to thaw out, but then it gets all crusty
on the outside, so it can't get away.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Okay, it's a trick.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yeah, but these professional chefs many they're tricky about that stuff.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Wait. I had Persian food yesterday. It's delicious, but you
mean Iranian. Yes, it's the same thing. And then they
like you to call.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
It Persia because Iranian stuff scares peopball.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
It is really good, it's basically like a cross between
Greek food and it's a kind of Mediterranean mixed with Indian.
That's besides the point. When dessert comes, say no, I
made this mistake so many times, had an Iranian dessert.
Oh the dessert. I think that's why they're so angry
their desserts there. Their food is delicious, but then when
dessert comes, there's nothing to make you happy before you
(16:11):
leave the restaurant. This hurts. They said they have a
they're famous for this thing. It's an ice cream sandwich.
And I made the mistake of ordering at once yesterday.
The waitress asked me if I wanted it, and I
said it's Isn't it like a turmeric ice cream sandwich?
And she has got a tumor in it? No turmeric, bill, Yeah,
it's a spice. And just say see the metaphin. I
see it, the medaphin. I say it like trump pseudo pseudo.
(16:33):
I like he's looking around, doctor ols. How do you
say this? So I said to the woman, isn't it
a tumeric ice cream sandwich? He says, no, it's saffron.
And I was like that seems worse. Yeah, that don't
that don't sound tasty at all? Why don't you put
a favor of chocolate caramel? Have I heard any you know? Cinnamon?
That's all good stuff right there? Yeah? What's wrong with
(16:55):
apple pie? Alamode? I don't dessert was? We had it mastered,
we had it for out, and then you guys came
over here from your the Ayatola told you that these
were the Sharia compliant desserts and they're just not good.
Has the iyatola ever been happy before? Why are you
taking dessert advice from a guy who thinks women should
wear bags on their heads and he's offended by bikinis.
(17:16):
I don't care, especially if you tasted it. You know, okay,
well we'll we'll take his suggestion on dessert.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Let's taste it, and then you eat it and you're like, okay, well,
we're never listening to him about food again.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
When the dessert menu comes, I don't ever look at
the waitress and say, do you have something that tastes
like hot garbage? But it's frozen? M that does sound tasty,
doesn't it? No, it's not good. Are you still doing
your culinary moments? Well?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
We were so fascinating to hear you guys, with no
culinary skills whatsoever.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
What are you gussing food? What are you going to
tell us about keto or something? I was actually going
to read an email for you.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Okay, since you guys seem to be having a lot
of fun calling women fat this morning.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
No, just two women specifically, and not even because like
I like a big girl. I don't have a problem
with it, but AOC and Jasmine it which is not
necessarily that they are fat.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
They're not like Lizzo. They're just fatter than they used
to be. It's a comparison thing. They're they're growing.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Well. Communism pays well if you're in Washington, d c.
It doesn't pay well if you live outside of the capitol.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
But well, Vinny emailed at Walton Jonathon dot comedy. He
started out his email with this headline for us, My
fat hen is clocking. My wife is a loyal listener
of your show, but you may want to lay off
the fat jokes a little. She's no spring chicken. She's
kind of a plump little hen with a heart of gold,
(18:41):
of course, and she is starting to squawk a bit. Well,
just no, until Vinnie's old lady, it ain't about her
it ain't about Jasmine or anybody else. It's a woman
got mad at us yesterday up in northwest Georgia because
we just pointed out that the girls are growing and
her name is April. April was very upset and so
(19:05):
we're just trying to calm her down by making more
fat jokes. Wow, we think, well, she'll build up a
callus yeah, and she won't be quite so sensitive anymore
or butt hurt as some people like to say.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
But I would never say that about April. No, you
could put a little more chilula on your omelet every
day and at some point you'll it's amazing how much
chilula you can handle.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
And halopeno's, I mean, you know, I can't remember when
I was a kid, I thought jalapeno pepper about the
hottest dang thing you'd ever eat.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Stay away from that.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
It's got hallopenos and now, like like eating candy, it's
like black peppery.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, you know what I will say this. Anyone that's
ever written us an angry email about a physical attribute
that we made fun of on the air, do you
know what I immediately assume about that person? What you know,
fantastical Tuesday, Walton and Johnson Radio Network
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