Texas Ren Fest Orgys - MON 9.2

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Do you like Combus Day? Yeah, well who doesn't.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Today to Kennolly and give a middle finger to the
indigenous people, it's Colmbus Day.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Yeah no, don't do that'd be nice to them. I
was looking four to other holidays.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
I mean, we all know Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's
and all that great stuff's coming up. But February of
next year, I was I was looking into my particular
birthday weekend.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Huh.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
My birthday happens to fall on Saturday. It is also
Valentine's Day. It's on a Saturday as well, and it's
a very exciting weekend. It's the last weekend of Marti Gras.
Next year, February fourteenth, fifteenth, sixteenth, seventeenth, Fat Tuesday, sixteenth
Lundi Gras is also President's Day eighteenth of course ash Wednesday.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
And oh that's a good one. I like that one.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Also a little controversy here because the iPhone says that
it's Lunar New Year, which some people call China New Year,
but according to the goog Chinese New Year is February sixth,
not seventeenth.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
But it's also we us you're in the year of
the Horse.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
We're snaking right now obviously, but Year of the Horse
will be coming up next for Asian New Year, New Year.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
I'm excited about pang Pang Day and Bingbong Day.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
I think that's the same thing.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
No, it's a Filipino holiday and Samoan holiday, they all.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
Have the same calendar. I think. I'm also excited about this.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
A former McDonald's employee just broke her to historic peace
deal between Israel and Homas. That's amazing how he did.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
That, Man, that is shocking from out of nowhere.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
Who knew anyone can do anything? I mean, this guy
used to work at McDonald's.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Sure he was a garbage truck driver. Yeah, that broke
her to peace. Sure wise, Yeah, I think it's the
same guy. Yeah. Wow, that guy gets you around.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Sure has Yeah apparently, Yeah, apparently he even got arrested
a while ago, and then he made this big comeback
just to make anyone could do anything in America.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
Seriously, I think that was the move that the Democrats
made that finally just nailed.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
They cough and shot that that picture the you know,
the the picture.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
Of Trump when they indicted him and took him in
and they mug shot at him, and that mug shot.
They thought that that's gonna be the end of Trump
got him in there with a mug shot. Trump come
up with a T shirt and a poster and coffee
bugs and stoop.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
That that he went gangster and the brothers.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
There's a lot of brothers out there that might not
agree with the politics of Trump, but they like the
attitude that Trump brained. He said, hell, yeah, he just
dishing it straight up, that's all.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah, dude, yeah, he dishes straight up.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
It's true.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
I mean even Little Boozy was like, what it do?
You know? People are really excited about it. Little Boozy
did what Little Boozy was like, hey, wipe me down.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
That's what he said.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
That's what they're they're playing this today and East span
Rouge Parish to so celebrate the news about the historian. Yeah,
white me town, Well.

Speaker 3 (03:05):
I know anything, and who'd have to so they got
to play something.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Now, for the first time in over two years, Hamas
is no longer holding any living hostages.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
And welcome back to Sanna.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
It's a breaking news coverage as we are covering a
historic moment here in Israel because for the first time
in two years, over two years, seven and thirty eight days.
Hamas holds no living hostages in its captivity.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
Wow, Caitlyn Collins seems really upset to report this, so
they're they're kind of sad that this happened, mainly because
of who they're giving all the credit to.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
They really don't like that.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
She's on TV with Wolf Blitzer and that's such a
home It's a real situation over there. Why does he
say it like that? It says Wolf butter and that's
such a r His name is Wolf. How else would
you say it? If you haven't seen the video yet?
It's on our Instagram account. There's this heart pounding footage
capturing the moment bystanders rush to help a young boy
trapped under a recktel copter they crash landed near a

(04:02):
California beach.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Was that the one that I saw in that video
you posted? Yeah, it's on the Walton Johnson Instagram. The helicopter.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
I thought it was AI, but they swear it really
happened to The helicopter went spinning around around real fast
and then crashed into a bunch of palm trees. And
they say the palm trees cushioned the fall. Isn't that
weird of the helicopter. It didn't look like it. Let's say, well,
it was better than slamming into the empty parking lot.
I'm gonna go ahead and give that helocopter the helicopter
pilot credit for.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Putting it into the trees on purpose.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Well, that would be daredevil pilot Eric Nixon, who spun
out of control around two piano at the cars and
copters event in Huffing Huntington Beach and bystanders on the
ground scrambled for a cover as the helicopter came crashing
down on beach front steps before a young girl is
seen looking down at the wreckage and running off in horror.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
And somebody was under that yep.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
When they approached the rack, the child identified by his
family as Oliver, is seen trapped underneath. There's two men
then rushed to his aid before the video ends. It's
quite dramatic there. Nixon later posted on Instagram that he
and his passengers were not seriously injured, while two of
Delta and a child were injured and hospitalized, the extent
of their injuries was not immediately available.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
Boy really something there.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
The injured boy underwent surgery for a brain bleed, and
there's a photo of him online eating one of those
giant turkey legs. Renaissance Festival fan is well, that happened
this weekend. The Renfest is back here in Texas.

Speaker 3 (05:30):
Where are they doing it? Because they sold that place
north of Houston, That's what I thought apparent.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
What are they still are they just crashing the gate?

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Okay, a little recap here on this is my best
understanding of what's going on with Texas Renfest. For those
of you that are not in Texas are Renaissance Festival
right outside of Houston is one of the weirdest subcultures
in America. So bizarre.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
There's some kinky, kinky stuff went on over in the Renfest.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
And there always has been, right, that's not even new
that they do these late the campers, the people that
can't late at night, supposedly take psychedelic drugs and have orgies. Right,
But have you watched the documentary yet on HBO?

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Some of it. Oh, it's so good.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
It's really disturbing, mister Kenneth, it's so funny. It's the
quirkiest weird It's a very bizarre thing.

Speaker 3 (06:14):
And they didn't mean for it to be funny.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
The King of Renfest just died. He was in the
middle of selling it near the end of his death.
Right apparently his death, I'm told stalled the sale. Now
there's lawsuits going on for people that wanted to have
the Renfest.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
And some of them want to stop the sale, and
some of them wanted it to go home.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Right exactly, And I don't quite know where they I'm
not involved in the litigation.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
Clearly lesson learned here valuable real estate tip. Don't die
in the middle of your site. Smart Okay, so you know,
make that a number one priority. But he was interesting
for so many other reasons.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
He would hire a personal assistant to go on to
dating apps for him, not just any dating apps, sugar
Daddy dating apps where he would set updates with women
who he would fly in from other cities around the
country and then he would take them to Olive Garden.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
Oh sweet, right?

Speaker 3 (07:09):
Did he also promise them free housing and eight thousand
dollars in cash?

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Five thousand, Doctor Malcolm Tanner, that's who you're talking about.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, similar cult leadership style.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
Now, yeah, yeah, I feel like being in a cult
would be a lot of work. Plus you'd have to
have sex with everybody's wife. That's only if you're the leader.
It sounds good at first, but that seems like it
would be exhausting for a dude, you know, just all
day long.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
Like you see yourself as a cult leader, you seem
more like a follower to me now, like you're just
one of the mini in the cult, not the guy
that makes the rules of stuff.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
I see.

Speaker 2 (07:42):
I'm not a leader, but I definitely wouldn't be a follower.
I'm more of a Sigma guy than I don't know colts.
I don't want independent thinking though. That's the problem I know,
And I don't even have a check.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
For them to bang, you.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
Would probably get thrown out or they'd put you in
in one of them bamboo cages and let all the
real cult leader cult people come by and like throw
stuff at you.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
They throw stuff at you. Oh yeah, I feel like
I could handle that, just like beer and you know,
you know, like warm beers, you know, flat beer? Are
they allowed to drink alcohol?

Speaker 1 (08:11):
And a cult that's why they're throwing it at you.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
I feel like, you know, these cult guys, they wouldn't
be able to throw very hard. They could make the rules,
so you know, whatever the leader says Yeah, but they're
probably eating bugs all the time. They're not getting enough protein.
How are they going to have the upper body to
do any harm with an empty beer can?

Speaker 3 (08:26):
Bugs have three times the amount of protein of your
average beef cattle.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, but how many bugs are they eating?

Speaker 1 (08:32):
Pound per pound?

Speaker 3 (08:33):
Of course you need a lot more, you know, crickets
and grasshoppers to equal, you know, a cow.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
I think pound for pound is what the cult leader
was doing with these other guys.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
Why you forget it was Columbus steak.

Speaker 5 (08:44):
Stay tuned for more. Waltman Johnson, Columbus Stay, Columbus State
a proud day for Italians and Catholics all over America,
except for the little snag of the fact that he.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Was I'm sorry, what did you just say? Yeah, I
turned the music down. Columbus was a Jew? Hang on,
what I'm sorry? What the hell did you just say
about Christopher Columbus?

Speaker 1 (09:08):
You take that back. That's fighting words, Billy ed Well.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
The historians and the DNA experts and all this stuff.
They dug up some stuff they think is Columbus has leftovers,
And they did some of that testing and they said
the Y chromosome and the mitochondrac that's that stuff.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
That he's Italian Catholic obviously.

Speaker 3 (09:29):
Yeah, he said he was one of about the three
hundred thousand Sephardic. I don't know what kind of it is.
Jews doesn't mean like they farted a lot that lived
in that area before the queen ordered all Jews and
Muslims to convert to Catholicism or leave the country.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
I mean, she was right to do that. I agree
with her. I'm that for sure.

Speaker 3 (09:52):
So it's still Jewish in his heart. Even if she
said you're gonna sailor for me, Yeah, gotta be a cat. Oh,
come on, guys, because she didn't talk like that because
she's in Spain.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
He obviously wasn't a Jew. I mean, look at him.
He was good at math, he was good at science.
He was good at navigating. He was very into organized.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
To find in India, and he didn't even come close.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
Was he really good at navigating. That's the part about
him that I think proves he's Italian, right, But I
wouldn't say he was good at navigating. He got lost
and he wouldn't ask for directions. Obviously an Italian a man,
all right, So this is a touchy subject. But it
is theorized that he was a Jew who converted to Catholicism,
possibly to avoid persecution.

Speaker 3 (10:34):
Under the threat of probably a decapitation or something with
the sword.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
At the time, it was a phenomenon known as crypto Judaism,
which as you know, was like bitcoin for Jews exactly.
And the individuals who financed his voyage included two Jewish
people who were two very prominent Jewish businessmen apparently, among others.
And the evidence there is some evidence that points to
a more complicated identity that previously understood, with his actions
potentially influenced by both the Catholic faith and his Jewish

(11:02):
heritage being hidden. Now, does that mean that he was,
you know, lying or whatever, he's a secret Jew? Maybe,
all the more reason to keep Christopher Columbus Day.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
Yeah, whatever, he was the you know, it's a long
time ago. Things were different then thanks forever and then yeah,
that sounds right.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Anyway, I want to have you denigrating my.

Speaker 3 (11:21):
Christal the top of being you know, great, great day
for Italians and Catholics and everybody at Notre Dame, which
sounds French, but for some reason it's Irish.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
Irish. I don't get it. I don't.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
Yeah, and they got a fun game coming up this
coming weekend too. I don't know, you guys like keeping
up with that because be a good game, except that,
you know, the the networks are always shoving Notre Dame
and the Fighting Irish down our throats, but still should
be pretty pretty exciting when it's all said and done.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
Notre Dame is associated with the Irish heritage, primarily because
of its founders, a strong Irish student's presence, and the
adoption of the Fighting Irish nickname. Although founded by French priests,
four of the six founding religious members of the group
were Irish, and this Irish identity was cemented through a
history of Irish American students attending the Universe.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
That's why they're comfortable not referring to it as Notre Dame.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
Yeah, they call it Notre Dame.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
Well, this coming weekend, it's gonna be a USC visiting
Notre Notre Dame, Notre Dame, Notre Dame, whichever one it is.
And that's two top twenty ranked team USC twenty, Notre
Dame thirteen and the Irish favored. Although I don't know
if they're gonna change this after what USC doesne did

(12:38):
with Michigan over the weekend.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
Irish favored about.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Eight and a half. I'm gonna put some money on that. Hey, mister,
give me your take on this. Originally calling it the
Fighting Irish back in the day, historically it was a
symbol of resilience. Over time, the nickname evolved from a
potential slur to a symbol of pride. Now, wouldn't it
be weird if an HBCU did that?

Speaker 3 (13:00):
Yeah, yes, I'm not sure I'm following you there. It
was mainly they got the football team.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
Well, I'm not gonna explain it any more vividly than
that they won't have jobs anymore. I'm just saying that's
a weird thing for the college to do.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
That was Originally USZ beat Michigan Wolverines.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
They was ranked fifteen as they now not to day
jump up into ratings and everything and they in top
twenty nine.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
So that's how that work.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
Mmm.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
So we'll see what USC and they do together.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
Oh I almost forgot to tell you guys about the
wayward cow.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
Cow you're gonna do that.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
Reflecting on the dismal state of the modern commute, Rodney
Atkins once saying if I'm going to head a traffic jam,
well I better be a tractor man. It better be anyway.
The point is I can't stay for sure, but I
assume a cow may also qualify. I'm seventy nine near
Cranberry Township in Butler County. Is a big damn highway
out in the middle of Pennsylvania.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
Cranberry Township, that's what they call it.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
But it's not usually a place where there is a
lot of traffic, right, That's not what you expect there.
It turns out a wayward cow is rescued from the
media of I seventy nine. Traffic was backed up for
miles approaching the area. While police remained at the scene,
we were just looking at footage of it, the helicopter,
the bird's eye view of it. It is really really, really,

(14:19):
really really long, all just for one cow that walked
into the street and blocked traffic on a two lane highway.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
And did they road rage and shoot each other like
they do in big cities.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
All the time.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
Well, as it turns out, a local ferruer, that's what
it says, named Kyle Carson, happened to see the report
on the news and he came quite literally riding to
the rescue. He said, quote, I decided this morning, before
I was going to go to work, well I might
call in and just see if they need a hand.
The crews there had traffic stopped, and we sat there
for a little bit and just kind of assess the

(14:51):
situation and let the cow relax a little more and
hang out. And then I just rode right up here
and roped her and took her over to my trailer.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
Well, okay, that's the where the killed her, cooked her
and eight her.

Speaker 1 (15:03):
Well I hope. So, I mean, that's what they're for sure.
We are the Lord that God you gave us Doman.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
You know what.

Speaker 1 (15:07):
The animals.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
You can make closing boots out of it too, you know.

Speaker 3 (15:10):
Oh well yeah, yeah, you know you can shoot your
own boots. A Republic Boot Company, now, yeah, shoot your boat.
You can do a gator there too, that's one of them.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
I like that. Yeah, Republic Boot Company. That's a cool
place to hang out. Now, Oh, before we go.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
You know, we're all up here going, oh yay, the
hostages or freed. But also don't forget there's plenty of
other not hostages technically, but just prisoners, you know. Terrorists
that have been freed and deported by Israel. Our swap
was two hundred and fifty terrorists in jail for twenty

(15:48):
living hostages. And they said, oh, that's just the tip
of the iceberg, as they've already released one hundred and
fifty four Palestinian prisoners released and deported by Israel, and
they said they got about two thousand more terrorists to
be freed soon.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
So how long do you think this piece is gonna last?

Speaker 2 (16:08):
Probably not long. In the meantime, one more quickie for you.
I'm gonna shove in your ear canal before we go.
Scientists believe in Hailer's yes, for asthma are producing as
much carbon every year as five hundred thousand cars. So
the next time you see somebody with asthma using it inhaler,
just remember that guy is destroying the planets.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
Slap that thing out of his hand. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:29):
Are you allowed to take a break from performing coitus
to use your inhaler? What are the words? What's the
rules there? John, don't forget bulletin durrels to eat it
every day. Hey again, you've reached the end of the
Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you. That means you
listened all the way to the end.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Does that mean we're going away now never to be
heard again.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
No, no, no, there will be a new show tomorrow,
oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or we're off work.
But as always, you could go to waltonand Johnson dot
com and you could find all kinds of cool stuff.
There are news blog links to our social media accounts.
Believe it or not, our personal lives are very boring.
If you comment on our social media pages, we might reply.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
Yeah, chances are we're just sitting around waiting to hear
from you. Yeah, so, what's the big deal?

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Go to Walton Johnson dot com today.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
I'm told there's a store. Oh yes, we do have
a lovely store and you.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Could buy things there. Walton Johnson dot com. What's not
to love