Tin Foil Hat Time - THU 9.1

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Slaps, doesn't it. It's so good. I don't think I
have to admit it. Now. You say I got to,
but I don't. It's a free country, Kenny. I don't
think I got to. I mean I think you should.
You should admit it. I know you think I should.
All right, Well, instead of admitting matter, I think you
should watch Loan Some Dove. I'll agree with that. You
listen to the new Deaftones album. I watch every round,

(00:22):
I Loan some Dove. All right, Now, that's a pretty
big commitment. You know, it's like six days worth of
you know, it's it's a long time, but it's worth it.
You'll get You'll get hooked immediately. It's got that kid
from Silver Spoons, right, Yeah, that's the that's the reason
to watch it, all right. What's his name, Ricky Choder
or something like that.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
You have arrived a way point of conscious mood on
the Walton and Johnson Show known ass Tinfoil hat time.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
I noticed things. I noticed things. You notice that it's
tinfoil time. Oh my god, I forgot what time it was.
Oh I thought you were mister I noticed things. No,
you're right, we're supposed to do something else. Right now.
I actually forgot it was nine o'clock. It got here quick,
didn't it? All right? Tenfoil had time coming up later. Yo,
I'm excited, But we don't want to hold back on

(01:17):
the Beyonce birthday party, do we. I really didn't her eyes.
It was that time. I really didn't say Queen Bay
is forty four years young. Oh boy, it just keeps
getting better, doesn't it. I mean, I better compared to
why when she was thirty four you thought it couldn't
get any better? And then ten years later, Oh well,

(01:37):
actually it was better. Probably back then heavy about the
time that came out. Happy Birthday to Beyonce. Yeah, yeah,
oh this good lady. Also Whitney Cummings birthday, you know,
the stand up comedian. She also had a TV show
for a while called Whitney. She's forty three. Wess Bitley
is the guy that played Jamie Dutton Okay on Yellowstone.

(02:00):
We all enjoyed hating very much. I don't know. I
thought he was one of the I loved the villain
in a lot of shows. I thought he was great.
He's forty seven now uptown funk Mark ronson fifty today.
I thought that was Bruno Mars. I know, but he's
got a Grammy for that and a couple more for
helping Amy Winehouse back to black album as well. Bro,

(02:24):
I do like that Amy Winehouse music is great. I
wish they for production for producing. She should do another album,
you know, did you think she should? She was good, dude.
I don't know why she retired. She was great now.
She just resting on her laurels? Is that what was like?
I guess so. I hadn't heard from a box whatever
happened to her? Oh? I thought this guy was famous?

(02:44):
Was that John Demaggio, Joe Demaggio, that's the that guy's favorite.
John DiMaggio was in a show called Future Rama. Oh yeah,
Future Rama is a good show. Yeah. I don't know him.
It was not a celebrity It was a Matt Groening spinoff.
It was about life in the future. It was it
was fun. They had that robot. He was funny. He's

(03:05):
no Damon Wayams though, is he? I like Bender? Bender
was hilarious. Damon Wayams is sixty five. Yeah, but Bender
was a robot that drank alcohol, and that's who John
Demagio was cool. He was Bender. He was good. I
don't know what that means. You should watch the show.
You'd like it. It's it's cool. This guy does funny voices.
That's probably not for you. Not, I don't think so.
Doctor Drew is sixty seven years old. What a parasite

(03:28):
that guy is. That guy looks at a celebrity with
a drug addiction and he thinks, how can I make
money off this person's demise? Why not? What a terrible
doctor he is. Could you imagine that guy back in
the day at medical school and the professor walks up,
He's like, hey, Drew, Drew, I've been watching there with
the cadavers. You know, you know what I think your
talent is. You know what it is. It's an addiction.
But hang on, not regular addiction, celebrity addiction. Sweet. Anytime

(03:53):
some celebrity has a meth addiction or a porned that
you should be the guy. Anybody with money? You mean,
but that CNN goes to and then when that person
dies after you treat him instead of taking away your
medical license. You're not going to tell these long winding
diatribes for every single celebrity birthday, or it depends who's
the next celebrity. Lawrence Jacob Lawrence Hilton Jacobs. I don't

(04:16):
know that is. You don't know about Freddy boom Boom Washington. Oh,
he's in a Queen Tarantina. We talked about Welcome Back
Cotter earlier this morning when we were discussing John Travolta.
Lawrence Hilton Jacobs was one of the sweathogs in class
with John Travolta. He's a black fellow, let's see the

(04:37):
black one. And he was named Freddie boom Boom Washington.
That's a little racist, a little bit. Why couldn't they
call him Marvin or Milton or something, you know, Freddie Washington. Anyway,
as he's seventy two years old, some guessing nuts around
the same asia as Travolta. Then huh. You know he
didn't even have his own children's hospital. Joe Demajio does,

(04:57):
Happy Birthday, Joe Demajio. This is John, same thing, different,
different thing. One of the pips turns to eighty three.
That's a yeah, Marrold, that's a real name, Marrold Knight
of gladys Knights Pips. He's also her brother. I guess
I didn't know one of the pips was Gladys's brother.

(05:21):
I wonder if he didn't feel like kind of like,
you know, the lesser sibling. I don't know what we're
talking about. I know, let's see the Green Power Ranger
no longer with us. My ex girlfriend's brother was the
Black Power Ranger. Did he have a birthday today?

Speaker 3 (05:38):
No?

Speaker 1 (05:38):
Then why you bring him out? Because I knew a
power Ranger. Also, Paul Harvey's birthday, the radio legend. Maybe
you've heard of him. Yeah, God saw DJ, God created
a God made a d J, God made. The National
Macadamia Nut celebration is going strong all across America. It

(06:00):
is National Macadamia Nut Day, not just in Hawaii. And
it is also the opening day of you know, professional football.
You make it sound like it's some dark secret you
don't want the audience to know about, Like today's the
day you get the results of a very important blood
test or something like, oh yeah, who's getting those results?

Speaker 3 (06:22):
Plain?

Speaker 1 (06:22):
You know how they are in that neighborhood. They they,
I'm I'm part of they now? Yeah the gays? Oh no, Nett.
What do you do on National Macadamian Nut Day? I
only eat I only eat a Macadamian nut once in
a while, I'm always in a cookie and it's always
with white chocolate chips. Why is that that's the only
way I have had one? I believe what else do
people do with it? I think you're supposed to watch

(06:43):
as at least one or more episodes of a Gomer
Pile USMC and what did he do? He ate them
or something? Well, that Gomer was played by a fellow
name of Jim Nabors who took his Gomer Pile money
and bought a big macadami me a nut farm in
Hawaii and has well lived there for ever and ever

(07:06):
and very happy about it. Boy, that's a bad investment.
That would be like going out and telling the publisher's
clearinghouse you want to get paid five thousand dollars a
month for the rest of your life. Yeah, that ain't
good for a week or whatever it was for a year.
I don't remember all right today in history and it's
probably brought to you by the Walton Johnson smartphone app.
That's a Hello one app. Wrec there and it's still free.

(07:26):
Get in on this before the price doubles. See A
couple of weeks ago, we made some updates to it.
We tweaked it you didn't hear any complaints.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
Did you.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
No. Actually, earlier this week it wasn't playing the live stream,
but we did. It did kind of mess up earlier,
but we fixed it. Okay. Yeah. The Woman in Johnson's
Smartphone app is free. You can download it in the
Apple App Store or the Google Play Store. You can
also find a link on our website. And when you
use it, which you know, please do, we encourage you to.
It allows you to get direct, unmitigated access to this

(07:54):
show uncensored. You can listen to the show live prerecorded.
You can even hear our afternoon show. You could communicate
with us. You could shop in our online store, and
it will love you and it will give your life
purpose and meaning, which you're probably not getting from your family,
your religion, or your job. Oh no, well you get
it from us. Yeah, that's what we do here for you.
Happy birthday to Los Angeles or should I say the

(08:17):
City of Angels on this date seventeen eighty one, do
the math. Two hundred and forty four years ago, La
was founded by Spanish settlers who had migrated north from Mexico, Canada.
They were Spanish. See the Spaniards came over and you know,
took over Mexico around the same time that Christopher Columbus

(08:41):
and all his buddies were doing all of that in
the United States area, but it wasn't called the United
States obviously, but and that kind of offensive to use
that word. Then the Spanish settlers, who you know kind
of like spread out, decided to head north and then
they headed up to Colorado and you know Texas obviously
and Los Angeles, and they said, hey, let's let's make

(09:03):
a city here. You put you know, good views, a
lot of nice you know, hills and valleys, and a
lot of wilderness and just just pretty I'm amazed how
you can just throw a racial slur out there on
the radio like that and move If I just threw
it out and move past it, then nobody would notice.
But you like to put a speed bump in there
and try to point out foibles. Yeah, it's offensive. You

(09:23):
call them what Spaniards? That's that's really offensive. Yeah. Today,
in eighteen eighty one, the Edison Electric Company started sending
power to eighty five customers. And today, in eighteen eighty six,
Apache leader Geronimo surrendered to the US trips and you
know what he said, Billy, what do you say? Probably Geronimo,
wasn't that I is think, No, you only say that
if you jump out of an airplane. Well, you don't
are off the roof of a house like we did

(09:43):
and leave kid. But you only if you're going to
land on a trampoline, and then usually you sprain your
ankle and you can't swim for the rest of the summer.
You ever see them videos of animals getting on trampolines, Man,
that's some footy stuff. I got to tell you. Bears, dogs, deer,
they get up on them trampolines and they start pouncing
around and it's it's funny. A funny thing to do
would be to put one of those dogs, or most
of those are not real. It's ai No, you could

(10:07):
do it and then put them in put them in
people clothes and then's Today. In eighteen eighty eight, George
Eastman Patton did the Kodak Camera Today. In nineteen fifty one,
Truman makes the first trans continental TV broadcast Where were
you when they finally went trans Today? In nineteen sixty seven,
the last original episode of Gilligan's Island aired. Next That
still makes me su I had sixty seven. Is it

(10:28):
really that old? Did they ever get off the island?
It was the last episode, like they got rescued. I
don't know remember when the Harlem Globetrotters showed up on
the island. That was good that you make any sense
at all? That was quality TV? And where were the
Washington generals when that was going down? They were still
on the boat? Is that it? Yeah? Today, in nineteen
seventy five, we've talked about this before the Sinai to Agreement. Basically,

(10:51):
Israel and Egypt decided not to go to war and
in return America gets to pay both of them every year.
Indefinitely lucky us today. In nineteen ninety eight, a couple
of Stanford students founded a company called Google. What Google?
Can you believe? It? Sounds like a stupid name for
a company, isn't that weird? Nineteen ninety eight, that's when
it started. I just feel like it's older than that
I know today. I feel like you've Googled things since

(11:14):
you were a child. I do. Yeah. Two thousand and two,
Kelly Clark Quinn's the first American Idol contest son. Huh
would you call her? Kelly Clark Kelly Clark. Yeah, okay, yeah,
we took the sun part out because it turns out,
uh Clark's son, what's kind of offensive to the trans community.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
Today.

Speaker 1 (11:30):
In twenty fourteen, speaking of offensive to the trans community,
Joe Rivers died. She was you skipped right over to
crocodile Man. Oh did he die too? Two thousand and six,
the crocodile Hunter died and guess what killed him? Uh?
Turned out it was a sun ray a crocodile, but
stupid little fish Stilley died at work. Though you know,
I I guess I do like that song Sting Ray, Stingray.

(11:53):
Remember it was a Hannah Barbara show in the sixties today,
and you know about that because I know all kinds
of stuff. I know all things. You weren't even born.
Then do you think that the same guy that killed
the crocodile hunter also killed Joan Rivers? Probably did he
know before her that Big Mike was a training I
thought it was a fish. And finally today in twenty sixteen,
Mother Teresa got canonized out to bit that hurt no

(12:17):
no Billy had it means they made her a saint.
Oh well, they're not supposed to be good this year? Yea,
does she still want to be a saint? I don't,
probably not know. Hell that reminds me Happy Birthday to
Paul Harvey.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
And on the three hundred and sixty fourth day, when
God was bored and simply trying to use up all
his spare leftover parts, he said, I need someone to
get up at three point thirty in the morning with
a big mouth and a small amount of common sense.
So God made a DJ. He said, I need someone
who always knows the time of the temperature of the

(12:48):
latest Internet rumor, and what time the band takes the stage.
So God made a DJ. I need someone willing to
give caller number eight a pair of tickets to the
Herpie Siplex twelve screen, to spend their saturdays handing out
peacha to used car salesman, and to ask every single
caller what station's doing it for you? So God made

(13:09):
a DJ. I need someone whose voice and face don't
match like the roar of a lion coming out of
the butt of a chihuahua. So God made a DJ.
I need someone who can say with a straight face
that Nickelback is their favorite band to ask you for
the phrase that pays and then inform you that you're
listening to the hot, rocking, flame throwing, booty kicking, steamrolling,

(13:31):
cornshucking tower of hit music power that's shaking the lakes
and rocking the docks.

Speaker 1 (13:36):
So God made a DJ.

Speaker 3 (13:39):
He's a maestro of sexual innuendo, a virtuoso of the
fart sound effect, and he or she is always doing
it with you, to you and for you right up
until the bigger hour of ten o'clock or beyond. Yes,
God made a DJ so that one day, when your
child comes to you and says, when I throw up,

(14:00):
I want to be a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman,
a carney, a clown, or a mine, you will have
someone else to point to and say, just so you
don't end up like that. And that's why God made
a DJ.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Do I hear you drop that? Walton M. Johnson, Good morning,
mister Rowe alluded to the fact that when this when
stock market opened, apparently American Eagle Outfitters was going to
jump up the stock price for like forty percent. Actually,
from what I just looked at, it jumped up about
fifty percent today. I know this is pretty wild, but

(14:38):
apparently hot chicks with big boobs who are blonde and white. Huh,
very good for business. Go figure, who knew? I know, Well,
this might start a trend watch out, I know. Apparently
that's uh, there's some people are shocked by that. I
guess they don't understand much about American history. Anyway, Here's
something I would have done last segment if it wasn't
for well, you know.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
You have arrived at a way point of conscious. This
on the Walton and Johnson Show known ass come.

Speaker 1 (15:10):
Tinfoil hat time. All right, here we go, guys. It's
tenfoil hat time, and it's proudly brought to you by
It's just like the Tin Man and the Wizard of Oz.
Same kind of thing, Yes, exactly, except also nothing like that,
Nothing like that at all. No, it's a conspiracy theory
themed radio segment. Oh okay, well, it's sponsored by my Pillow.
Earlier we mentioned in the business world and the advertising

(15:33):
world important it is to shop with people who share
your values because it really pisses off the other side,
it really does. Yeah. Absolutely, yeah. So is there a
promo code or anything? Oh, at MyPillow dot com. The
standard promo code everybody should use is WJ I love that.

(15:53):
I mean, you may hear about other promo codes from
other shows. You don't want to give them credit. No, No,
we're way better. It's about getting credit, is really what
it's all about. Generally, I wouldn't spend all week talking
about the burning Man Festival. I got to tell you
I was there. There wasn't really that much to talk about.
A bunch of dude got a dead Russian over there
in a tint somewhere. Well, you're getting ahead of me here.

(16:15):
Oh yeah, I told you about that three howls ago.
I know, and now I'm going to opine about it. Oh,
I didn't know this was the opine hour. I saw
a few things at burning Man last week that interest me,
and since I was one of the only sober people
there or mostly sober, I remember it. I remember what
I saw, and of all the things I witnessed, besides
the fact that there was a segregated camp for black people,

(16:36):
Now whose idea was that? Probably the blacks? Then it's okay, okay,
it's confusing. But something else I thought was odd is
everywhere I went, all hours of the day, I kept
meeting men from Russia, Ukraine and Israel fighting age right there,
and that is like, wow, it's so weird that your
political leaders would let you come here to a music festival.
You all come from a country where they have a draft.

(16:58):
I know they have a military. Oh yeah, in Ukraine
and Russia, they weren't letting men leave because they were
supposed to fight in the war. But somehow you got
permission to leave and come here. I don't know if
they got permission or up, but they're here. So they
got this guy, the first ever burning Man murder victims
stabbed to death while camping at burning Man the art
and music festival last weekend. His name was Vadem something

(17:19):
impronounceable his last name. He's from Omsk, Russia. His campmates
are asking questions they have Ah, that's the question, right,
it's a figure. Yeah, they have a telegram account. Do
you know what telegram is? It's an encrypted social media
platform that terrorists and drug dealers like to use Telegram

(17:39):
telephone or tell a woman, that's odd how you get
the words out? That's right? Yeah, that's exactly correct. Well, anyway,
so this guy's Russian and he's in his thirties, so
he's young enough to fight in the war. But for
some reason. He was in Nevada attending the burning Man festival.
Maybe he heard you promoting it and you were going
to be there, and he said, well, it's good enough
for that new guy, it's good enough for me. Obviously,

(18:01):
I am beloved by Russian people that like to bail
on their country during a war. But didn't you recently
have some sort of a situation with a Russian gal?
I do know Russia? Is this not like her brother?
My experience has been that the Russian the Russian women
are slightly more attractive than the Ukrainians. But that's besides

(18:21):
the point. That's neither here nor there. But you did
study it, obviously up close to personal. Got my face
right in there. But the point of this isn't that
Okham's razor here right. Conventional wisdom would tell you somebody
gets murdered at a drug fueled music festival. Odds are
it was probably a botched business transaction taking place, and
it would be the perfect place to do it. It's dark,

(18:42):
there's no electricity anywhere, there's telephones don't work out there.
You could run through the camps very quickly. No one's
really gonna see which way you go. At night. It's
not like they have street lights or anything like that.
I didn't even have to dig a shallow grave. They
just walked away, right, and nobody saw nothing. But what
if that's not what happened? What if he got murdered
because of and not in spite of the fact that

(19:04):
there was a war going on back in his home control. No,
you don't think the Ukraines in their little tin snuck
over to the Russian tint and killed because they're at
war with each other. It's possible, oh my god. Or
what if it was the opposite, mister Kenneth, Well, Russian died,
so you know, had to be the Ukrainians then, right,

(19:26):
not necessarily, isn't Vladimir Putin and the modern day version
of whatever we're calling the KGB Now, aren't they kind
of famous for taking out Russians who seem to disagree
with the will of the leader. Oh you think this
guy might not have been down with the plan to
take over Ukraine. Well, he's all dressed up in a
silly outfit at a music festival in America, surrounded by

(19:48):
hippies eating mushrooms and taking drugs and smoking illicit substances
out in the desert. Not a good kami. It doesn't
sound like something Putin would want you to do during
the war. It's not a good look. Right, You're out
there listening to tech in the desert and all of
a sudden, I mean obviously, uh, maybe Putin pulled the
trigger on it from way over there in Russia. Or
you sent somebody on a on a trip, right exactly,

(20:10):
or just take this guy out or somebody that's sympathetic
to him. What if somebody said, go to the burning
Man festival. Find all the people that are attending it
that are critical of Putin. How did he diet? It
sounds like he was stabbed. Yeah, okay, m yeah, that
sounds that sounds Putiny. Well, it's hard to get a
gun in there, Putini and I and I will tell
I will attest to that. I had a really hard

(20:31):
time getting my weapons into that festival. We're right. Yeah,
I had to sneak him into the bottom. But you
put him on the bottom of the camper, like down
where you put the spare tire. Just tuck him in there.
They're not going to check the first place. Cops. Look,
they didn't look. They didn't search your prison wallet did they, Yeah,
I don't think I could fit a hole gun up there.
That's crazy. I mean a switch play it, sure, but
you're not even willing to try. It ain't oil. It's

(20:53):
over Walton and Johnson Radio Network.