Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I have this friend. He's a journalist and he's in
town right now. Is he really a friend or more
like an acquaintance? A little of both? Could you tell
us all the time? You really don't have any friends.
He's an acquaintance. He was in town to interview a politician,
and then he was going to come in and do
my afternoon show today. And he's staying at a hotel,
(00:22):
a nice hotel downtown too. And he sends me this
lik what he woke up to this morning. It looks
like a roach. Now that's a bed bugs. Well, oh,
now there's a close up. Yeah, that's a bed bug.
He just texted me and he said, I'm not going
to bring bed bugs to your studio. Oh no, you're
not allowed. You can't even come on to this floor
of this building. He said, they come to my room,
but they didn't even apologize. Well, I'm pretty sure the
(00:43):
person at the front desk is it's sorry. They don't that,
and they are probably not responsible for bringing the bed
bugs in or getting them out. Boy, that's gross, though, Huh,
that's pretty gross. You know, of all the times I've
stayed in a hotel, I'm statistically speaking, it's kind of amazing.
It's never happened to me. I mean I've heard about
it happening to people. Oh, I'm very careful about what
(01:05):
hotels I will allow myself to venture into. Have you
seen ever spotted bed bugs before?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Now?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
And if I did, I would be long gone? You know.
I know some people that go to the extremes that
they put their luggage in the bathtub really, yeah, because
they don't want it anywhere near the carpet or the
bed where a bug might get in, because then you'll
take it home. Fascinating I do. Do you remember when
I was dating the Mohawk remember her? Oh? Sure, the
(01:32):
poc We were in New Orleans one. Yeah, by the way, Yeah,
we were in New Orleans one, staying in a nicer
hotel at me it was nice, and she looked behind
the curtains and there was black mold and she really
had to go black mold. I'm sorry, African American mold. Yeah,
next time? Did it right? Well, she really had to
go looking for it. I wouldn't have even thought to
(01:53):
find it where she found it. But then they gave
us a different room after that, and I remember thinking, oh, well,
you know, you're no longer with the mohawk as you
refer to her. But did you learn something for that?
Do you check from old when you go to your
hotel rooms now with other women? She about yourself. She
was great. She taught me a lot of stuff during
the brief period that we dated. But one thing I
(02:16):
didn't like about her was her ever teach you how
to make it rain? No, he could use some rain
down here. To be honest with you, it looks like
Colorado and some parts of California are getting all the rain. No,
she didn't teach me how to make it rain, but
she did color code all my t shirts in the closet.
I need a woman once taught me how to make
it rain. If she wasn't an Indian? Know you were
(02:36):
doing a stripper that was a different kind of rain altogether.
That's not part of your story. Sorry, I just had
to slip that in. Yeah, you know what I mean.
You look like Johnny manziouw when you did that. No,
he did this. Oh it's a little different. Yes, this
does make it rain. This is pay me. Yeah, yeah,
you know, this is feed me. Keep feeding me. You know,
like a running back a run, you'll get nine yards
and he'll jump up and do like this. You know, yeah,
(02:58):
just keep feeding me. I mean, give me the ball. Anyway,
I don't know I talk to her anymore, but Steve
tells me that she was very upset about Columbus Day
on Monday. Oh, I bet so. You didn't that, and
that one of the reasons you guys, uh didn't get
along at the end.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
There.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
No, I she's she's still part of my Facebook group,
and I couldn't help. But notice she posted some very
hateful things about Chris after you've spent all the morning
telling us what a great guy he was.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Okay, Steve is telling the truth. We after we briefly
dated and broke up, we were going to get back together.
But then it was Columbus Day. But then it was
Columbus Day last year, and my mom was getting heart surgery,
and my mom's a member of the Knights of Columbus.
So I wore a Christopher Columbus shirt to work that day. Yeah,
and she told me she'd never talk to me again
until a few months later. No, the girl. Oh yeah,
(03:44):
and then you know what, and then she lied, She
did talk to me again, but she did. Anyway, she
moved away it didn't matter. Well least she, you know,
was a like an Indian and not one of those
people that where they're from Haiti or wherever they get
voodoo dolls. Well, she was a mohawk billy. I guess, well,
it's a mohawk. Yeah, yeah, but she didn't have the haircut.
What's maybe maybe the girls didn't do it, but the guys,
(04:06):
if you're a mohawk, supposed to shave everything except that
middle strip right down the middle. She would have looked
really goofy, you know, if she'd have done that. You know,
I was thinking about that because here in Texas we
have this weird law. It was created by Shila Jackson Lee.
So you can't discriminate against people for having ethnic haircuts.
Right now, if you were a mohawk Indian, that would
(04:27):
give you the go ahead to do anything you wanted work.
You say, you could have the craziest flock of seagulls
style haircut, come in looking just ridiculous, and if your
boss said anything about it, you could sue for a
million dollars and you hope they do. And I don't
think that's fair, but I play by the rules. Kids.
I don't get to make the rules. I'm just playing
the game the way it was created. So you're not
(04:48):
even partially indigenous, as they say. You know, if you get,
if you get enough partial indigenousm then you get. But
I don't think that's the word. Well, back out, you're interrupting.
If what was I talking about? Oh, you're if you
have a partial indigenousm you get money, you get you
can get paid, and you can break all the rules
(05:10):
and stuff too. Okay, so Billy had to your point there,
I am indigenous. How you figure? Well, the indigenous people
of the United States of America are white Europeans. We
are the ones who founded the United States and populated
it nearly exclusively in the beginning, thus making us the
indigenous people of this nation. Yeah, they're not gonna buy that, though,
(05:31):
pretty sure that's been tried. Well, it's too bad. I'm
speaking in facts here. Well you may think, well, but Kenny,
the Iroquois and the Sioux Indians and stuff, but they
came here on the baron what's it called the baron
straight bearing straight? Thank you? And if you're barren, you
know you can't have kids. Well, you know, I think
that's how the liberals would prefer it. But that's besides
the point. True, Now it's just beside it. They know
(05:51):
it's besides and they also, okay, you're right, but they
migrated here just like anybody else did. And I find
it remarkable that liberal Democrats will tell you in one
you have to be nice to the immigrants, and then
in the other hand they'll say, accept the white European
immigrants who came here in the sixteen and seventeen hundreds. Yeah,
those are the bad ones, you know. So wait, you're
either you're against immigration now no, just your immigration. Yeah,
(06:14):
I mean, folks from Europe came over here and eventually
went all the way across the country from sea to
Shining Sea, and settled this place down and made it
safe to live in. And nobody appreciates that. But they
do like the country. And I just don't like who
made the country likable. I want to say something, and
(06:34):
it's got upset some people, but it's objectively true. It's
completely okay to be a white person. WHOA, Now, WHOA,
you could be white. It's fine, it's all right. Marked
the day. This might be Kenny's this payday, and then
they'll probably call him into the office and give him
his last check. No, no, it's true. You can be white.
It's okay. There's nothing wrong with you just because you're white.
(06:55):
That's fine. You doubled it down. You must have a
new job already lined up. Huh No, I just this,
I don't really do anything. That's all there is. And
there ain't no mo you know, I am told that
Kevin Fetterline doesn't even have a job. Isn't that crazy?
Is that right? Yeah? What does he? What does he do?
Is he making? Does Brittany, you know, make enough money
(07:15):
for the both of them even though they're not together?
Apparently he lives in Hawaii now and his wife is
like a volleyball coach or something like that. He doesn't
have a job. He DJ's part time and he wrote
a book, and I just you know, Brittany wrote a
book too. Isn't that weird? How you could be that
famous and not monetize it. I mean, think about it.
We look we're nobody special, but we you know, we
(07:36):
make a leving off of this. Why can't Kevin Feederline figure?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
No.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Brittany supposedly wrote a book in twenty twenty three, her
memoir called The Woman in me. Do you really believe
she sat down and wrote a book but they're making
it into a movie. Oh I'm excited now. Okay, So
Britney spears, while probably on pills, vaguely described her life
(08:03):
experiences to a ghost writer. Yeah, and then that guy
took these like incompleted sentences and like stories that don't
really have an ending and we're random ramblings of the
lunatic mind. Yeah, and then fell dow a lot of
blanks because what are you gonna do? Fact check? So
a fetter line I'm looking at here? Hey, kay fat? Yeah?
He sure yeah, married a woman named Victoria and they
(08:28):
have two daughters together. But he has two sons with Britney,
So I guess they're all happily living together out in
Hawaii now, like a miniature Brady Bunch family. Huh, well
that's the way it sounds. Yeah, I guess. So, yeah,
are both of Brittany's sons in Hawaii? I have no idea. Yeah,
there's no inem. Okay, did you know that in Portuguese
(08:49):
popo zaomis bring your ass? Well? I thought everybody knew that.
It's right there in the lyrics of this song. Yeah,
I can't all allay. I can't believe this didn't make
him billions of dollars Popozau. I mean still today, it's
just one of those you know, it's a song. Now
he's not Brazilian or Portuguese or whatever. Would this be
(09:11):
considered cultural appropriation? Maybe that's what hurt him. Yeah, somebody
might have pointed that out. Unfortunately, is he doing an accent? Oh? Boy,
that's even worse. They could imprison him for this if
they wanted to. Someone went into a recording studio and
recorded themselves going in Poortuguese it means bringing your ass, yeah,
(09:35):
and there wasn't one person. There wasn't one person. As
he was recording that, he was like, you know, Kevin,
you don't have to do they so you could just
be married to Brittany and yeah, but they said that
she's a she's gone through quite a bit of money
in the last couple of years. Maybe she's unable to
support him in the lifestyle that he was once accustomed. Boy,
(09:55):
drugs must be fun, huh. I guess the n word.
This is the Walton and Johnson Show. Really serious news
we could get to and some horrible crimes and terrible
things happening all over the place. But sometimes isn't a
(10:16):
nice for a little lighthearted break from all the negativity? Yeah,
I mean I think show we need a whitehearted break.
That's why we have DFW Airport. DFW Airport. Oh, hang on,
hang on this you know the center of attention for
people acting crazy. I have a feeling I know what
you're about to do. What off the boy? Jack delb
(10:38):
a plane, Jack ALV a plane. Here's some money got
kicked ub a plane, and coincidentally, it's brought to us
by Heywood Harvest. You'll see why it's a coincidence in
a moment. Okay, so Donald Trump signed the Farm Act,
and because he signed the Farm Act, everybody in all
fifty states can legally purchase things at Heywood Harvest dot com.
Despite what Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick thinks. Yeah, tell
(11:01):
them to shove it. Go ahead, and remember to use
promo code W and J. Their products are fabulous, They're fantastic.
They're going to improve your life. That's all I could say. Legally.
Just go look, I have a delivery on the way
right now. Love it all right, go W and J.
Put the A and D in there. What's going on?
A woman was arrested at DFW Airport for bringing a
(11:25):
little weed on the plane. How much is a little
a brick? About the size of a car seat? That
doesn't really sound like a little, That sounds like a lot. Yeah,
that's what the cops thought. She's at DFW. I guess
she checked a bag and then got on the plane.
But somebody must have noticed, and so they really literally
(11:50):
kicked her off the plane. The police came, took her
off the plane and took her over to one of
their patrol cars that was parked right there by the
by the plane on the on thermac. I think they
call it okay, yes, and so that's probably where the
story ends round. Actually no, oh really, because while she
was being arrested and coughed before they could load her
(12:12):
into the backseat of the police car. Uh huh, she
decided what would really help her case would be if
she started torking for the cops with her hails behind
her back too. That's a special kind of torque right there.
Wait a second, that sounds almost like she was sexually
harassing the cop. Well, I don't know if they took
(12:33):
it that far or not. They pulled that big brick
of cannabis out of her bag. You'd think most people
would have been a little anxious, might have been a
little nervous. Instead of protesting or pleading, she started torking.
They said, I'm sure she was already under the influence
of some of the product, or if she was just
really not bothered by the seriousness of the situation. But
(12:55):
her care free choreography seemed less like a panic and
more like just an unfit filtered vibe. You know you're vibing.
You know, you got a vibe. Sometimes I don't like
unfiltered vibes. I prefer when the vibe is filtered. She
probably thought some of this levity might soften the blow,
or maybe the cops would just like, oh, you know,
it's not that big a deal. She figured wrong. Of course,
(13:17):
they took her to jail. Yeah, they were at the
DFW airport, wasn't it DFW Not that long ago that
niked lady was walking through the terminal and everybody was
just a video and well, funny you saying that, Billy.
During commercial break, we were trying to find this video
and the one of the news story that mister Kennis
just working girl, and we found so many we couldn't
(13:40):
find it, but we found so many other videos of
DFW have naked people at DFW. Two chicks, a dude
of they them something we couldn't even identify. They're one
chick that I remember. I mean, she didn't look bad.
If I had been there, I would have assisted the
police in taking her down. I put in the word
air arrest twerk. And I found this video this white
(14:02):
lady and it looked like she was at an airport bar.
The CoP's handcuffing her and she starts rubbing her ass
against his crotch area, and she goes, yeah, you like
that and you want some more of that? And everybody
in the comment section was like, oh yeah, what a
great day to be a cop. But I felt bad
for the guy. Yeah, that does That's really not something
he wanted, was it. She's I mean, I understand it
(14:24):
looks cool. If you're a single guy, you're like, yeah,
she's grinding on him, that she's sexually assaulting him. I mean,
remove yourself from the situation for a minute. That's not okay.
So that he might not have enjoyed that, But what
if biology has its own mind. What if she felt
(14:44):
that he was enjoying it? If you know what something Okay, Well,
while we're doing hypotheticals, none of our businesses. While we're
doing hypotheticals. What if that was a guy getting arrested
by a female cop and he started like rubbing his
crotch against her breast. Well, if that's the case, she
was hand uffing him completely wrong. Turn him around, thank you, belly.
(15:05):
Now do you think we could get Kenny Allen to
make a song about this naked lady? For those that
don't remember Kenny Allen, he was. He's a funny rad neck.
He's actually the pride of Waller County, Kenny Allen, and
he had a song about crazy a naked lady on
a semi truck. She was up on a freeway and
she didn't give a darn Wow, you really remember all
(15:25):
the lyrics. That wasn't exactly how it went, but it's close. Well,
we could do one for df desert crazy nicked lady
at the df A crazy nicked lady at the Dallas
Airport and she was an I don't know, I'm no songwriter.
Many years ago in the Greater Houston area, there was
a national news story. It was actually nine years ago
involving a naked woman climbing on top of a semi
(15:46):
truck and blocking traffic all over this city. And that
is when this song came to exist.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
There was a crazy naked lady on a semi truck
Triumph they call you ninety us completely. She was dancing
like a stripper for the world. The seat everybody taking
pictures of because he ever seen a crazy naked lady
on a semi tracky, I gotta tell you look like
(16:14):
a can of biscuits ready and a busting. The traffic
helicopters was a circle and round with arial shots of
the circus song.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
All right instead of that song? Did they say Ariola shots? No, no,
no Ariel ariol Yeah not Ariel? Take it back? All right,
here's another song I want to play right now to
talk about something yea with haa haa shine and cleam
and glowing facts and waxing. Mister Kenneth, would you no hair?
Would you explain Kim Kardashian's nipple bra real quick before
(16:46):
I explain this next news story. Nipples are in right now,
more so for women, sadly, but they're just all the rage,
and Kim Kardashian has a bra that has built in
erect nipples for you to pop into your shirt in
case you're unable to do that on your own. So
that's the thing that are Oh yeah, it's selling like crazy.
(17:07):
That already exists, that's existed for a while. Now, Kim
Kardashian has launched a bizarre new underwear, her skim clothing line,
and it features women thongs covered in hair. They're calling
it the Ultimate Bush Collection. Wait wait, wait, wait wait,
you're saying they shave her down and then they put
under her own to put the hair back, right, yeah,
(17:29):
and we're talking about like the skimpiest little panties Liker
Dental Flaws style, right exactly. But then right around the
crotch area there's faux hair, faux hair panties. It said,
with our daring new faux hair panty, your carpet can
be whatever color you want it to be. And then
there's different colors of isn't this just a Murkin? We
(17:49):
already had Murkins, right, do you guys remember Murkins? True,
but it wasn't a Kim Kardashian product, So this is
completely different. Now, now the Murkins back in the day.
I think we're old by a man if I'm not mistaken,
and I hate to be the one pointer out, but
I think a lot of the Mercans were actually men's
facial hair. Oh yeah, that was shaved off and then
(18:10):
turned into well, uh panty for women. If a woman
wants to spend the money on uh, you know, the
fake uh crotch forest, if you will, I guess that's her.
Or she could just grow her own right then you can.
You may want it one day and not the next,
and you don't want to keep having to, you know,
shave it, grow it back, shave it, grow it back.
(18:31):
I don't quite understand the point of shaving it all
off and then putting a fake like would I know,
would guys do this? Would a guy shave his head
and then put a wig on? Like? What would be
the male equivalent of this? Well, I don't know why
we're going with just the head.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Whoa.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
It took me a second to figure out what you
were talking about there, And what the hell is a
crotch forest? I mean, I think I know, but that
ain't right. I don't nobody need block locked aad billy.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
It's a family shop new from Kim Kardashian Skins. It's
thumbs with bullsh ladies. If you've longed for a two
pay for your vijayj it's here for millions of women
they can finally say, see, I am a real blonde.
Thongs with ful bush comes in twelve shades. Why you'd
(19:15):
ever pick ginger is beyond me. Finally, the triangle is
back thongs with ful bush wherever fake muffs are sold.
Or you could do it the old fashioned.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Way and grow it wild.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
I given a choice between doing something and nothing, I
choose to do nothing. But I will do something if
it helps someone else do nothing. I'd work all night
if it meant nothing got done.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
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