Wooking for Love - MON 8.1

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back. What's gotten there? Greeting?

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Is there?

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Everyone?

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Welcome to the Welton and Johnson Show, where the warmth
of collectivism is never at the forefront of our broadcast.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Do want to rigid individualism? That's what we're all about. Individualism. Yeah,
we got that, and.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
We got it. We're not going to New York. I
wouldn't recommend it either. Florida is always fun this time
of year.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
We can go to Florida. You want to go, We'll
go there in a minute. Yeah, we got a Florida
man from Lake City. You ever been?

Speaker 3 (00:27):
No?

Speaker 1 (00:27):
It is it? Lake City? I bet there's lakes way
up north. I don't see a lake on the map anywhere,
but I'm in there's probably once somewhere, even if somebody
may have made one or just you know, somebody's plumbing
backed up, who knows, Yeah, up near the Georgia line
up there in far north Florida.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
All right, fine, let's go okay what oh sorry, hang on,
I'm doing too many things. I want get a mulligan
on that. All right, Take two? Everybody, what's here.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Comes here, comes to Florida, man, It's give it. Our
good friends at the Silver Slipper Casino. All they blew
out for New Year's and everybody had a big time.
But you know the fun ain't over now. In twenty
twenty six, they got a more excitement headed your way.
Plus they still got you know them crab legs that

(01:17):
you like. I love crab legs as especially if it's
all you can eat.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yeah, I mean, the price is right and it's always
a good time at the Silver Slipper Casino and beautiful
Bay Saint Louis. All right, where are we going today?

Speaker 1 (01:27):
I told you Lake City? Okay, let's go. According to
the Lake City Police Department, officers were called over to
Bjay's Meat Market Lol Bjay's Meat anyway, that's over on
a main boulevard. Two nights before Christmas, A young fellow
named of Kobe Watkins decided to come into Bjay's meat

(01:50):
Market and rob the place. Now, he didn't want anybody
to be able to identify him, so he was wearing
a mask over his face. Employee had a pretty good
description of the guy though, since he was completely naked
under the mask. I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
This news story involves lots of meat BJ's and a naked.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
A meat market, and yet it's not at all what
you think it would be. Like. Police looked at the
surveillance video and said, mister Watkins left a trail of
clothing and other evidence along his route of travel to
and from BJYS. So they went and got him and
took him in for medical evaluation because they thought, and

(02:31):
probably because look at his face here that and he was,
you know, totally naked except for a mask, that he
might be a little mentally off. Yeah, he looks nuts.
So they had a medical evaluation before then booking him
into a detention center charged with exposure of sexual organs

(02:51):
and robbery with a weapon. Wow, that's the worst kind
of robbery? Was that? Also? The sexual organs is a
weapon that they were referring to. Yeah, is that what
they meant? I don't think so. Grand theft and criminal mischief.
Florida is full of mischief. I don't know if you've heard,
but that's how it works.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
I've heard that about Florida. All right, I got two
Florida Man news stories for you. Let's start off with
this one. Where were you guys on New Year's Eve?
Were you awake or were you asleep? Well awake until midnight?

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Okay? Some people go to bed early on New Year's Eve,
and I think that's it. I think that's a mistake.
Stay up till midnight. Here's a reminder to always do that.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Uh huh.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
It's twenty one year old kid in Florida just got arrested.
He was firing a gun to celebrate New Year's Eve.
A lot of people do that, but you shouldn't. Okay,
sure what.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
The bullet went through a woman's bedroom wall. Were hitting
shoot it up in the air. That's you're supposed to,
you know. I mean, you're not supposed to do it
at all, but you should point it up. Well, okay,
that which goes up comes down. But if it went
through her wall, it went sideways, right in this case.
I mean, you still shouldn't do it. But this was
even worse than what we would shot gun just fine,
because you know the pellets, they don't hurt nobody when

(04:01):
it comes down. That's not true. Billyet, No, that's a
but don't do. Not listen to Bill yet. Anyway.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Luckily, this woman's okay, she's asleep in bed and a
bullet shoots up under her head and lands in her pillow.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
About eleven fifty eight, this when all the gunshots happened
around the neighborhood. By twelve fifteen, there was bullets fun
to our house.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
My four year old.

Speaker 3 (04:19):
Luckily, he normally sleeps in our bed, and just by
the grace of God, he wasn't in there that night.
The bullet was right there by my pillow. I remember
it being very hot, and that's when I grabbed my
son and we went into the other bedroom because we
didn't know what else was coming in.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
See, go to bed, on to at the appropriate time
on New Year's even this won't happen to you. Also,
don't fire a gun. Yeah, into the sky? Okay, I
got one more Florida. Man, it's a triple, it's a three.
What is a hat trick? What would you call that?
It's a hat trick?

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah, I learned that.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
In Trivial Pursuit, a disney World employee is recovering after
he got nailed a runaway boulder at disney World's Indiana
Jones stunt show.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
Have you ever seen it before?

Speaker 2 (05:05):
I have. It's been there for a long time. It
looked like he was trying to block the boulder from
hitting members of the audience. Uh So, the guy's running
along the boulder, goes out of control.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
And it made out of like styrofoam or something. See
that's what I would have thought, cardboard whatever. Well he
had to go to the hospital. Well still, it's a
big thing. It was a big thing. Anyway.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
Here's the recording from someone in the audience that witnessed
what happened.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
Black guy. Wow.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
Imagine that. Wow, imagine that. And he probably makes minimum wage.
So it was a good thing, but not for.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Him, No bad for him.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
But you know, on the other hand, I always figured
the Indiana Jones stunt show is predictable and boring. I mean,
it's probably the same thing it was forty years ago.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
Right, Uh? Is this gonna mean they're gonna like more
people gonna go see it now or they go stay
away from it? You know, because human nature being what
it is, this will probably actually attract a crowd. Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
I was never more interested in SeaWorld than I was
after that orca ate its trainer.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Remember that in the meantime, I mean that would aggravate
me if I was a whale. You know, it is
called a killer whale. A killer whale.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
J'all get who Melissa Chen is No, she's uh fruity
liberal from London. Anyway, She's mad today about what just
happened in Venezuela. Not mad because of Maduro getting arrested
or not. She's upset that people on the news are
pronouncing the words Maduro and Caracas in a heavy, wanna

(06:41):
be Spanish accent. She says, you should never do that
unless you speak in Spanish. You pretentious tea words. She says,
Oh boy, I'm gonna cause trouble in the news. Can
we say the tea word? I never think about that
word that anyway. Well, just assume probably best we don't
if you're questioning it.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
I don't think Melissa understands how important it is for
American TV news anchors to use a fake Spanish accent
when saying the names of stuff in Spanish countries. Yeah,
they do it pretty regularly, and we stand in solidarity
with them. That's why I always acknowledge and respect and
correctly pronounce the capital city of North.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Korea, which is what again? Okay, that's how it's pronounced,
That's how they say it. Why must one scream it?
WHOA are you being racist to Koreans?

Speaker 2 (07:27):
What did you say in a very mild to do
people from Korea say it that way?

Speaker 1 (07:35):
No, they don't, they say they don't. Yes they do.
I've seen it.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Only one says it that way. And he's the leader exactly,
and it's his city. Think about that. Come on, he
got the gout to have a little respect for Lil Kim.
What's the capital of Venezuela, Caracas.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
Oh, I'm sorry, you gotta say it like like he's
being announced to in the boxing ring. I don't know.
I'm not really that good at the Venezuelan accent.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
My neighbor has a Venezuelan accent, and it never sounds
the way I think Venezuelan people would sound when I
imagine their voice.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Correctum, no, I will well tell them he's doing it wrong. No,
I'm more of an expert on the North Korean accents. Yes, expert.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
It's my it's my one talent. In the meantime, our Arkansas,
the natural state, is rolling out new laws mandating insurance
coverage for weight loss surgery, but not the easy pills.
Apparently they have to do surgery now. Everybody just gets
that shot.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
You get to shot shot, shot, shot, And uh, they
said no, there's there's no more need for all that
surgery stuff. You'd lose weight like in three days, you're
you're alreadych LAMENTARYM.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Well, they're uh, they're gonna insurance coverage in Arkansas will
now cover the weight loss surgery. But they have this
other problem in Arkansas. At the same exact time, prison
costs in the state are skyrocketing. And often when I
see two things happening side by side, it gives me ideas.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
It's often often, oh, very often.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, what if you know, we got all these prisoners,
they don't have anything to do, they're in prison. You
got all these people they want weight loss surgery. You
see where I'm going with this. No, you teach the
prisoners to do the weight loss surgery. Yeah, visa v ergo,
et cetera, et cetera. Next thing, you know, Uh, prison
costs go down, weight loss surgery costs go down.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
Right, It's brilliant problem.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
So brilliant do you think Sarah Huckaby Sanders will send
me a you know, like a check or something for
out and solve this problem.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
Then they're gonna have expenses again. Look, twenty bucks, twenty
bucks is twenty bucks. I don't ask much. Yeah, tell it.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, I did not go through the rigorous verification and
standards process.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Hey, id operated with God. I hate this country so much.
Russian election. At you expose the global World War three
silence coming to in Russian grocery store.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
It will radicalize you.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Largely peaceful demonstration. It's like living in hell.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
You're listening to the Waltman Johnson radio network.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
You guys remember this music spinal tap. Yeah. Rob Reiner
was honored last night at some award show.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
I don't I don't care. I don't watch this stuff,
but uh, you do. Got to wonder what's going on
with that case. Apparently Nick Reiner's defense lawyer ain't cheap,
but worth every penny in a murder case, according to
legal experts.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Oh yeah, it is hard to convict rich people of
a crime in this country. Now. I don't know if
he's considered rich or not, but as daddy sure was.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, okay, So the attorney is this guy named what
is it, uh Jackson?

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Alan Jackson not the country signer.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
No.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
Jackson famously defended Karen Reid, who was accused of hitting
her boyfriend Boston police officer John o'keeth with her car
and leaving him to die during a snowstorm. We didn't
spend a lot of time talking about that news story
on this radio show, but people on TikTok were.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
Obsessed with Well, of course they're TikTokers. They have to
be anyway.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
She maintained her innocence throughout two criminal trials, the first
end in a hung jury, Hung jury, misterro I heard it,
before ultimately being found not guilty of murder and manslaughter
in the second, Oh, not guilty.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
You say anyway, Murphy?

Speaker 2 (11:10):
This guy at the New York Post they're legal expert,
explained how Alan Jackson's skills, his talent ain't cheap, cost
a lot of money, and it's kind of ironic here
he'll probably be using his mom and dad's money to
pay for the lawyer.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
Yeah, isn't that crazy? Oh boy.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
Just a few days after the murder, Jackson made headlines
when he was seen visiting the Reiner home. Most trial
lawyers who are familiar with murder cases learn that the
sooner you can get into the crime seeing the better,
Sometimes without even knowing what you're looking for.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
Do they have another suspect that they would like to
point the finger of guilt at I don't think so.
Nobody's been mentioned.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
No, I've only heard in Nick Reiner. It seems like
everyone thinks Nick Reiner is guilty. Yeah, the real question
is not whether or not he'd be found guilty. It
certainly looks like, Look, I don't know, I'm not the attorney.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
But uh, well we'll we'll let it play out. We
would would let it just work its way out through
the court.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
The real question will be what will the punishment be,
And we won't know for a long time.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Well, if he's guilty, he's probably insane, right, insanity Is
that a good defense? You're insane? Well, if if you're guilty.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
Last night at the People's Choice Awards, No, the Critics
Choice Awards, Chelsea Handler was the host, and why because
you know who else is going to do? And she
made a joke about Nicki Minaj, saying that she doesn't
get invited to a lot of black people's homes these
days except Nicki Minaj. But why would anyone want to
go there? Because Nicki Minaj is a Republican now And

(12:39):
apparently that really upset ari on a Grande. And I
don't have a take on any of this. I just
find it all to be very stupid. What the Hollywood
News entails this morning.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
I hope arian A Grande isn't so upset that she
can't eat. Do you think that's what happened. I don't know.
That girl needs a sandwich in the worst way. Also,
watch the scenes on the streets of New York City.
Beside the York City the protesting of what happened in Venezuela,

(13:09):
there were also a bunch of people out there in
the streets of New York. You know, they got like
a million different things they feel like protesting. And so
some reporter like you used to do with the traveling microphone,
goes out to the street and starts interviewing some of
these liberals are out there just you know, trying to
make everything better by mouth and off from giving their opinions.

(13:32):
And so he goes out and starts asking New York liberals,
if they're so concerned about Trump's immigration policy concerning Somalia,
would they be willing to take in a Somali immigrant
or two into their homes.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
It seems like a pretty straightforward question, and I bet
they were all very enthusiastic about doll.

Speaker 4 (13:55):
To take in a migrant from Somalia. Would you be
able to give a shit your email and how many
you would like to take it?

Speaker 1 (14:03):
I wouldn't be available to do that at the set.
Do you can take some in so that they can
stay in America in my studio apartment? That's very as well.
The whole reason that this country exists is based off of,
like other.

Speaker 3 (14:15):
Cultures, like intertwining and like getting together and making new things.

Speaker 4 (14:19):
I'm glad to hear that, because what we're trying to
do is get people to pledge to take in migrants
from Somalia so that they can stay in America.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
Would you guys be able to do that? I would,
but again, my own family, so there's no loan to say,
Oh I could give them the moon.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
I couldn't do that without talking to my husband first,
your husband.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Let's just cut to the chase. No, I thought nobody
volunteered to take in a Somalian immigrant.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
Ma'am, this is New York City. You're telling me your
husband calls the shots around your house, so I highly
doubt it.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
It is funny that New Yorkers, among others, were the
ones who were claiming that if Trump got re elected,
he would in democracy as we know it in America.
Not only has he not into democracy in America, he's
trying to send some democracy to some of these other
countries that used.

Speaker 3 (15:11):
To have it.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
And we're flourishing and doing really good with it until
somebody took it away from them. At the same time,
they said Trump would end democracy in America. Yeah, New
Yorkers voted to in democracy in New York. Yeah, they
don't like it. What the hell are they thinking?

Speaker 2 (15:27):
Same thing with Maduro. You know, they're all mad at
Trump for arresting Maduro, but nobody cared when Joe Biden
put out a twenty five million dollar reward to arrest Maduro.

Speaker 5 (15:36):
Oh I've met is a dictator, plain and simple. The
Venezuelan people need our support to recover their democracy and
rebuild their country of your sanctions is one of the
tools for a conference of strategy.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
You get the idea. Yeah you figured that out.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
Hey, I got an update to a news story we
covered back before the holidays. Do you remember the guy
who had a bear in California living under his house?

Speaker 1 (16:00):
That was fun.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Okay, so now he's suing the state. The bear is
still there.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
They won't let him run the bear away, They won't
let him do anything about it. They won't help him.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
The State of California basically says, nah, f you, buddy.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
They don't care at all. The bear has rights, the
homeowner does not.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
The state is no longer stepping in to help Johnson
deal with the wild animal, and they don't want him
to do anything about it. Someone online has come up
with a unique solution.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
I love this.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
If he sets up an Instagram account and starts calling
the bear his pet, the state will come back and
euthanize it. Remember what happened to Pat the squirrel the
squirrel peanut? Uh, Justice for Harambe and justice for peanut nuts.
Out for Harambe, y'all.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
And what's weird is we have a personal experience with
this sort of thing. Years ago. John Walton of the
famous Walton Johnson Show, you know, God Risk his whole
had had a home up in Breckinridge and the mountains
kind of like where we are now, that's right, And
he had a bear under his house and same thing.

(17:07):
He tried to get rid of it, you know, like
you know, scare it away, run it off. Blu Boo
go away. Bear just was real happy to spend the
winter living under his house. And of course, you know,
he was worried maybe the bear would come out and
grab them. You know, someday when the bear just decided
they had enough of that making noise, because you know
they were up there stomping around trying to disturb the bear. Sir,

(17:30):
probably do something there. So they go to the Breaking
Ridge City people, the Colorado and whatever Bear management group,
and they said, no, you can't. You can't do anything
to that bear. You need to leave that bear alone.
You just let that bear have his way. How about that? Yeah,
it ain't just California, of course, California and that far apart.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
I remember that story a little different. I remember something
being stuck under John's house, but I.

Speaker 1 (17:57):
Thought it was a wook. A what a wook?

Speaker 2 (18:00):
You know, like one of those dirty hippies that goes
to ed music festivals.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
We've seen one of them in the airport a couple
of days ago and may now it's creepy looking dude.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
Pretty soon they're going to have a dating show for
wooks called Wooking for Love.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
Oh wait, you're serious.

Speaker 2 (18:15):
No, Wooking for Love is a reality dating show based
on Denver's music festival scene. Oh no, and they are
currently looking for contestants. If you're a white person with
dreadlocks who doesn't have a job, you regularly use drugs,
you haven't bet washed or bathed yourself in a long time,
you're unemployed, you get money from your parents and from
the government, you may qualify to be on Wooking for Love.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
Is it just going to be Somalians or will everybody
get a chance?

Speaker 3 (18:39):
No?

Speaker 2 (18:39):
No, no, these are white kids. Yeah, they're almost entirely
white people. I know that with what with the dreadlocks
and everything, it could be confusing because isn't that a
mister o cultural appropriation?

Speaker 1 (18:48):
It is cultural appropriating. You know, it ain't Michael, but
it's somebody's I no doubt. Yeah. Well, anyway, what we
seen in the Denver airport, it looked like if if
he had stopped walking and he had just leaned over
it to waste you know what do they call them leaners? Oh,
the fentanyl folds, the fentonyl fold. He would have been
perfect for the new zombie movie. What if these guys

(19:12):
all that they have that zombie look on their face
and they just kind of walk around aimlessly, waiting until
they they smell human brain and then they want to
eat it. You know, there is a solution here. Two
problems combined together. Could he call a solution? You're always
wanted to see a solution instead of problems.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
We got all these people with fentanyl boats coming here, right,
and we got all these druggies, right. We don't want
the druggies around. Look at them, Look how horrible they are.
What if we take all the fentanyl, we put it
on an island somewhere, uh huh, and we put all
the drug use there, and we just let the problem
solve itself.

Speaker 1 (19:46):
Like Fittlet Island, and let's get some video cameras up.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yeah, you could make it into a dating abstracted sunhinge.

Speaker 1 (19:58):
This is the Walton and Johnson Show.