Memoir Author Joretta King is in THE HAVEN!

Debut author, Joretta King joins V. Helena in the HAVEN to discuss her powerful memoir, Bleach On Colored Clothes.

Episode Transcript

(00:54):
Welcome to another day in the HavenDreaming People. Today we welcome debut author
Jaretta King, who's here to discussher memoir Bleach on Colored Clothes. Jaretta
enjoys reading books about self esteem,healing and love and decided to write one
about her life, which is truly, truly inspiring. Her book, Bleach

(01:15):
on Colored Clothes, started as achildhood diary and her observations at that age.
As she worked through her struggles,she used writing as a tool of
self reflection and healing. She's writtena beautiful story about her journey and I'm
happy to have her on the showto talk about that process. So with
that, join me in welcoming authorJoretta King. Thank you, Welcome to

(01:40):
the Haven. Thanks so much forhaving me. Well, it is a
true, true pleasure to meet youand to have you on the show to
talk about your book, to talkabout your process from writing it. But
first I want to start with thatbook title, because I loved your book
title. Talk to me about it. How did you come up with that
title? It came to me ina dream, honestly, and I've told

(02:01):
that story over and over again whenI first started writing, and I was
so focused on a title, andI worked with two different titles. They
were just working titles, and Ireally wasn't satisfied a hundred percent a hundred
percent satisfied with those titles. Andso I just say, you know what,
just leave the title alone for aminute. Cause the the class I

(02:23):
was in at that time, theinstructor said sometimes the title will come to
you at the end when you finish. So I just say, you know
what, leave it alone. Andthen one night went to bed, had
this dream. It was like threeor three o'clock in the morning, and
in the dream, I was sittingon the floor sorting through clothes and there

(02:44):
was bleach all over the clothes,and and and I woke up and something
said, which I say, Godsaid, that's the title of your book.
Wow, that is amazing story.So let me let me ask you
this because I am so curious tohear your answer to this question. When
did you start writing it? Istarted in a diary. I started writing

(03:05):
my diary at five to six yearsold, just jotting down that is,
as I experienced witness things happening,and just was journaling at that age,
you know, not of course realizingat five years old that writing right,
the age that you are. Yes, yes, yeah, so you started
writing. Was it a therapeutic kindof thing for you at that age or

(03:30):
was it writing just to be,you know, a childhood's curiosity more curiosity
at that time? Yeah? Okay, So was there anything that inspired it
or well, you were journaling,so you were writing about things that were
happening right or personal space as achild, yes, okay, and and

(03:51):
then some to some degree it wastherapeutic. It was so at what point
did you decide that, you knowwhat, I'm gonna take this journal,
this body of and turn it intoa memoir. Throughout my life, that
was always something that was in myspirit that I was supposed to write a
book. And there were times whenI didn't want to do it. I

(04:15):
said I wasn't going to do it, but it was just that nagging feeling
that just said, you have towrite this book. So I didn't know,
and I there were stages. Sowhen I first took it seriously and
wanted to write it was probably aroundtwo thousand twelve, and it I just
couldn't. I just couldn't make ithappen. There were just so many obstacles

(04:38):
in the way and I just couldn'tdo it. And I said, first
of all, I I'm intrigued thatsomething that you started writing at five years
old in twenty said yeah, twentytwelve, you you pulled that from the
archives, you held on to thosewritings, and you know, so far
you've been talking about how a higherauthority has you know, based entered in

(05:00):
and had some input into your wholeprocess, from you know, naming the
book to writing always wanting to towrite as a young person, and then
it just all kind of came together. So that that's very intriguing, interesting
and inspiring as well. Yes,thank you, thank you. So in
twenty twelve you took that collection,yes, and said I'm going to put

(05:24):
this together and was it Did itstart as a memoir for you or were
you looking at other genres of writing? It was always a memoir, okay,
yes, okay, yeah, AndI didn't realize there was gonna be
more. I had to say.I was like, okay, this is
it. Now, it's the timeyou s let's go ahead and get it
done. But again, had someobstacles, things happened, and I just

(05:46):
felt like I just wasn't ready andI didn't, and I just put it
aside and said, you know what, I'm not ready to do this.
Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, but okay, so let let's talk
about that for a minute, becauseyou really open up in this Bookook,
You really really show your soul,your spirit, your experiences, and that's

(06:08):
a frightening place, or can bea frightening place to be. What gave
you the strength and the courage toput pen to paper, take those stories,
complete your memoir and put it outin the world for everyone that you
know to read and hear and experiencingit as they're hm they're reading it.

(06:30):
It came from reading other memoirs writtenby other people. I was one of
my favorite authors, Tony Morrison.One of her quotes is, if there's
a story, if there's a bookthat you want to read that hasn't been
written yet, then you must writeit. And I've always read memoirs by
other people whose lives were similar,who went through similar things I had gone

(06:54):
through, and just wanted to see, well, how did they overcome that?
And so I got from them.But then it was always that still
small voice that just would not goaway, that just kept telling me,
you have to you have to dothis, you have to write it.

(07:15):
Yeah, okay, And so theidea of what people might think of me
if they read this wasn't something thatreally entered your headspace. Oh yes,
okay, okay, but your onI did you didn't change the names to
protect the innocent? I change something. Yes, some of the names have
been changed. Did some of thenames have been changed? But people will

(07:38):
relate it to you? Yes,in your circle. Excuse me of people?
And the reason why I asked,did you think of other genres?
Because I'm sure that there are instanceswhere I mean, I think as writers
that there's a piece of us thatare in our characters already. And of
course there are characters that are basedon other people, right, of course,

(08:01):
so it's easy to get lost behindthe characters, right, But in
a memoir, you're putting yourself onfront Street right right right then and there.
So I applaud you. Thank youhaving the courage to open up and
to do that and really just kindof expose it and tell me why,
Tell me why, what inspired youto do this book, publish it,

(08:28):
put it out to the world.What is it that you want to see
come out of that experience. Thanksfor asking that. So, of course,
you know, my book is basedon a lot of trauma, trauma,
a lot of dysfunction, a lotof abuse. And I've spoken to

(08:48):
so many women and men who havegone through the same thing but they can't
talk about or they don't feel comfortableor feel like they have the free them
yeah to talk about it. Andby sharing my story, I see that
it has already given other people whohave contacted me privately and told me their

(09:11):
stories about things they have gone through, and how now they want to share
their story, They want to tellwhat happened. And that typically happens whenever
someone comes out with with something thatis looked at to be shameful or disgraceful,
embarrassing. And for me it wasliberating, Okay, it was a

(09:39):
sense of relief of carrying that burden, carrying that shame. And also you
know, I also go into tellingthe story of how I repeated some of
that same behavior, So that wassomething that I thought was different from other
books. Not that everybody has torepeat or will rep pete the abuse,

(10:01):
but I felt like by being thattransparent and telling that story of how I
repeated some of those same things thatwere done to me allows other people to,
like they say, you know,break those chains. Yes, yes,
that's very very powerful. The selfawareness that comes with that is truly,

(10:26):
truly inspiring. I don't want todilute that point at all, not
as a as a not just aswriter, but as a reader reading it,
because we all fall short, right, we all make mistakes, and
sometimes we make the same mistake overand over again. But where where it

(10:46):
comes to a place and a senseof self awareness is usually the place of
healing. Like, if you canbe aware of it and own it,
then you can do something about it. But if you just keep denying it,
pushing it off, then it's verydifficult, yes, not challenging,
right, to try to change thecourse. Right, So let's talk a

(11:09):
little bit about your process for rightOkay. So yuh so you said in
twenty twelve that that's when you decided, Okay, I'm gonna look at this
seriously, I'm going to to makethe central book. And when when did
you populaship? It was May ofthis year? Okay? And so was
there something significant about the timing?Not really significant, It was just it

(11:35):
was just I needed it, justneeded to be done. So the pandemic
COVID didn't had nothing to do withwhy You're like, you know, life
is short, I need to getmy book out there. Nothing like that.
No, just because there was stillthat part of me that was still
wanting to delay it in and procrastinate. Okay, and said, well,
you know what, why don't youwait until this happens? Because I think,

(11:56):
and that's with anything, we wetend to want to wait until the
timing is right, and there reallyis no right timing. Yeah, and
sometimes there are things that happen herelife that causes that shift to moving to
you know what, I got toget this done, and that's why I
want to you know, panthemic COVID. So for some people that that is

(12:16):
a driver, but I'm happy tohear that. No. I mean,
it was your own time clock andyou just decided this is what I'm going
to do it and May was thetime that it came out and blessed the
world. So we appreciate that.So your process, I'm very intrigued to
find out the answer to this questionbecause you wrote it at such a young

(12:39):
age in twenty twelve. You lookedat your writings and I'm assuming that you
added more flavor to it. Soyou're whereas you were telling it from a
young teenage mind or young person child'smind on up through to how much how
old were you when you finished whenyou stopped writing junior journal material? Do

(13:05):
gosh? I was probably I wrotein my journal all the way up until
I was about nineteen, Okay,okay, yeah, So you went back
from five to nineteen those years,and and then you just from the age
that you are now. And I'mnot going to ask you to divulge your
age from the age that you arenow. Of course, you're you've gone

(13:30):
through life experiences as an adult andyou're looking back on this and so you
you colored it with some more bleachand then and then came up with the
finished product. So what was theprocess that you used in delving into your
memoir and getting it to completion?I picked up I found this amazing book

(13:56):
in the thrift store. In thisby an author name rap Keys, called
The Courage to Write, Okay,and I I was trying to w When
I was in a writing class,we were told that we need to obviously
stick to a certain schedule every dayand make sure we write that same time

(14:18):
every day. Try to find awhatever place gives you, you know,
the creativity to write or cause somepeople can write anywhere, and some people
say, oh, I need togo by the lake, or I need
to go on a cabin or Ineed to lock myself in the room.
So I was trying to find out, Okay, well, how can I

(14:39):
commit to that schedule every day when, of course things happen right. And
I found that the best time forme to write was really late at night,
because I didn't have all the noise, you know, from wanting to
answer my phone or respond to textmessage or email or have and to do

(15:00):
something for my son, and youknow, of course everything is still,
you know. So I found thatthat was the best time for me to
write late at night. In thebook, Ralph Keyes talked about uh some
of the most popular writers. Andas I was reading that book, I
realized, Okay, the anxiety thatI'm having, the fear that I'm having,

(15:24):
afraid of how people are going toreact to this rorrying about did I
use the right word choice, allthose things is what all of some of
our best writers go through. Sohe talked about Ebe White, who he
said he hated writing. He thoughthis writing wasn't wasn't any good, and

(15:46):
he always worried over every word andhe just didn't want uh what is it,
Charlotte Webb, He really didn't wantthat published. And you see what
happened with that. And yeah,so as I'm reading that book and I'll
find out, okay, well thisreally is what all writers experience. Yeah.

(16:08):
So the process for me was justto write and as I'm reading other
people's advice on or other writer's adviceon writing, and and Lamont one of
my other another fav favorite author ofmind, and her advice is just to
you go get it out. Andyou know what she says about your first
draft being you know, trash.Yeah, but just to get it out,

(16:36):
yeah, yeah, and then goback and clean it up and and
not and allow that process to workitself through because some people see the vomit
and they're like, I'm not cleaningit up, and so like two years
later, that's when they're going backto their manuscript. Yeah. So you
self published, yes, uh,this book tell me some of the challenges
that you faced in self publishing it. Well, one, just not even

(17:00):
knowing what to do first. There'sa lot of information out there obviously,
and just not understanding, okay,what all goes into self publishing and what
is really self publishing and s.So I was advised by another self published

(17:21):
author years ago that you want toon your isb a number m M.
You know, yeah, and soshe that was the advice she gave me.
And so the process for me,it was r It was sometimes frustrating.
It was really scary because I hadno idea how the whole manuscript gets

(17:42):
uploaded. If you c what's thedifference between Ingram Spark and create Space and
m M. If you go throughIngram Sparks, does that mean you have
to have just an e book andyou have the kindle and and e books.
So there were a lot of informationthat I didn't know about that I
had to research. Yeah, andit can seem daunting as a self published

(18:06):
author. Yes, navigate that rightthing. So you know to have a
company because you went through a noton demand, but you went through a
publishing company, yes that self publishedit for you, yes, and so
and then just really trusting those folkswho do know the industry to just kind
of navigate that for you. Iunderstand why you would do that. So

(18:33):
what was most enriching enriching about theprocess, Oh, it was just now
just really seeing it finally come intolife. Yeah, just getting to the
point where you have everything uploaded andyou've gone back and you've looked at it,
and just getting the finally getting thefinished product in my hands and actually

(18:55):
holding a book and it's a beautiful, beautiful. Yeah. I think the
way that what did you have somesay in the design of it? I
did, well. The there wasa h a lady who designed mm the
cover, and she showed me differentdesigns and that was the one we all
agreed on. Yeah, okay,okay, So tell what advice would you

(19:18):
give to new authors who are lookingto write a memoir? You know you've
been there and done that now,so speak to our new authors who are
looking to write a memoir. Whatadvice do you? Yeah? And I've
had uh people who have asked meabout writing and wanting to write a book.
My advice would just, first ofall, as an author, and

(19:41):
I hear this a lot, andI think a lot of people focus too
much on the book being a bestseller. They wanna be New York Times
bestseller. And what I've told peopleis that being a best seller does not
mean that you have a great boobook. Okay, then immediately some books

(20:03):
came to mind. I mean somebooks that got drammatical eras. I mean
books that have been turned option intofilms. Okay, I'm not gonna say
names. I know I had television. Yes, so hol look look my
writer friends out there know who I'mtalking about. But anyway, yeah,

(20:25):
so because really what makes a bestseller is that obviously people who understand the
algorithm and they know and of coursewhen obviously celebrities write their books, they
obviously have that window of time wherethey have to get all these seals.
So a best seller is just itjust means that a certain amount of books

(20:45):
have sold, well a lot ofbooks have sold in a short period of
time, and that makes it thebest. That makes it a best seller.
Yeah, so it's all about themarketing. Yeah. And of course,
if you're a known author and peopleare waiting uh s, you know,
especially these authors that send out abook once a year until you're waiting
for wait next book. Yeah soR You're absolutely right. Yeah, that's

(21:10):
that's how it happened. So that'smy advice, is not to focus so
much on it being a bestseller,but focus on just writing a really good
book. M. Just writing abook that people can relate to, people
can resonate with MM, and justbeing honest, just being authentic, being
transparent because people can readers can feelthat, they can feel when you're holding

(21:30):
back. Yeah, you know.Yeah, and and not r not trying
to imitate another author, not tryingto sound like somebody else, just find
your voice. Yeah, And youhad mentioned that before twenty twelve, when
you decided to get serious about it. The the years in between, you're

(21:51):
like, ah mm, you know, you weren't really you wanted to write
a book, but you really weren'tmotivated no to write the book. No,
So what happened in twenty twelve oror what advice to these new authors
could you give about getting over thatnot having any motivation into just actually sitting
down and doing it. And that'ssomething that you still you will have to

(22:12):
that will always be a challenge,just staying motivated because things are gonna happen.
Life is gonna keep happening. Andthat's what I had to realize because
throughout and that's why I kept stopping, because things kept happening, okay,
and I thought that, Okay,you know what, I had a death
in the family, I can't write, legal stuff came up with some people,

(22:34):
and I'm like, oh, Ican't write, And obviously all meant
sicknesses, everything, financial things happenand I can't write. And I k
kept saying, well, when thisis over with, I'm gonna write,
and then I overcame that and thensomething else happened. So their excuse is,

(22:59):
yeah, so the motivation you haveto surround yourself with other people who
are doing the same thing. Yeah, because people can give advice, and
we obviously have gotten advice from peoplewho have no clue of how things work,
and so they try to tell you, oh, well you need to
do this and this and this,but they have I'm thinking, okay,

(23:22):
well, where's your where, where'syour book, what's the name of your
book? All about it? Soit's so just staying motivated. It's just
well, you're gonna have to forceyourself because if that's something that you truly,
truly want to to to accomplish andto get done, you'll get it
done. Yeah, you know,amidst all the chaos and everything else.

(23:45):
That's going on. Right, Sowith memoirs, many times there are you
know, the people that are attachedto it who may not necessarily want to
be attached to it mm, butthey were part of your experience, so
they are. Have you come acrossany challenges related to that aspect of it?
Yes, yes, okay, Ihave. I have of course the

(24:07):
w family members, you know,Okay, well we we don't have to
go into any detail. Yeah,but you know, for those who are
who are writing memoirs, and that'snot to make them have a second thought,
right because first and foremost is yourexperience exactly, and and that person
was just kind of attached to it. But they shouldn't feel derailed or deterred

(24:32):
from from writing your experience and rightlife, right, just they just have
to be ready for that stuff thatit absolutely and and one of the other
things that rap Key's mentioned in hisbook when he talked about writing, whether
whether it's a novel, memoirs,especially memoirs, because you'll have people who

(24:56):
will get upset that you put theirmentioned their names, or talked about some
things. And it c does nothave to be an thing negative. Some
people get mad because you didn't youknow, there's that. Yeah, okay,
yeah, so those are the thingstoo that you you will you know,
run into and say, oh,well, why didn't you say this
about me? And oh why didyou say that? So? Or that

(25:21):
wasn't how I rewrite? Right?Right? And I need more credit and
your book right? Yeah, Itell you s it's all kind. I
haven't personally experienced it. I havetalked to a few other authors who have,
and it's more than a notion.But you you're handling it, yes,

(25:42):
oh yes, yeah, yeah,you're making sure that first and foremost
your story is out there, yourvoice is out there, and along those
lines, what's next? I getasked that a lot, ain't you know.
I honestly, when when I finallypublished this book, I wanted to

(26:06):
take on a life of its own, do whatever it's supposed to do,
because I didn't have, honestly,any real expectations other than to share my
story and hope that other people willbe inspired by it. But if I
had to want anything from it isto maybe reach out to younger women,

(26:33):
younger girls and and and boys,and to you know, help them and
show them that if they're going throughanything, if they're experiencing anything, just
to give people a voice to justbe strong enough to share whatever it is
that they're going through. Possibly anonprofit of some sorts, ykay yeah,

(26:57):
speak to engagement. Yeah, that'ssomething I still have to work on.
I'm just putting that out before.Thank you, thank you. But yeah,
definitely I can see that as well. I can definitely see that too,
because that the subject of your ofyour book, of your memoir is
something I think that resonates with women. Yes, very very very highly.

(27:22):
So I wish you the best onyour speaking tour. I want to hear
all about it. I want tohear about your next book, and I
want to see you back in theHaven. Absolutely absolutely. I've been asked
about a follow up book. Yeah, okay, okay, okay. Well,
I want to be the first onyour long list of people who are
going to be contacting you. Sothank you so much for being on this.

(27:44):
Thank you, and thank you dreamCatchers for tuning in and being a
big part of why we do this. It is my hope that you are
inspired in your own writer's journey andthat this season will inspire you to continue
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(28:07):
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v Helena. That's all for now, and until next time, catch fire

(28:30):
on purpose.