Episode #81 - Kayvon Taghizadeh & Brandon Killough!

Bonus episode today everybody! This episode I’ve got Kayvon and Brandon on, two of my closest comedian friends come through as we have a few drinks, watch some fight videos and watch our reactions as well! This was kinda a try things out podcast as I tried out reaction videos with my guest! Check it out and let me know what you guys think about our reactions!

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/theheleycast--4329275/support.

Episode Transcript

(00:06):
Yes, sir, you've got icein the cooler. Everything we're officially going
by the way, everything is up. You just started with this, I
did. I mean, I justwent ahead and what do you want?
Yeah? I need I need acigarette? No soundcheck, no nothing,

(00:27):
no, you just stick it right. I just went right straight. And
also I have more liquid depths ifyou want. This is a sparkling fuck
your sparkling water. That was reallyrude. I get it because he's yeah,
because he likes pokes in the bottle. Sorry about that arm, dog,
I'm looking at doing low profile armsvery soon. So you uncomfortable?

(00:52):
Do I need to scoot it over? Bruh, he's over there there,
Just do that nice there, Okay, okay, god, you're My anxiety
was going wild right watching you overthere. I'm like, is he okay?
It's kind of fun to play with, just like my did. Gross.

(01:14):
Oh god, I was showing Brandonsee if I can log in with
the showing me who he's trying torip off for this episode of the Heelic
Cast. Nice, that's true.I was showing him up. It's true.

(01:34):
It's true, true, which meansthat's what they're going to do this
not that he turned down the nationalanthem I did Detected in New York City.
I thought that was yeah, right, you were born and that's basically

(01:57):
what I'm trying to do. Likethat. Well, I told him the
fourth person would be Cody Freeman.He said, you have to pick one
of these celebrities to dick ride andpretend to be them the whole episode.
I'm gonna I'm gonna do Markin Normanbecause he stole one of my jokes.
Okay, I'll do collaborate on that. I ain't really steal a joke of
mine, but but he arrived ata similar punchline. I forgot the exact
thing, but it ends with likegoing down syndrome. Oh you know.

(02:23):
I was like, oh my myversion is I tried women all across the
spectrum, even on the spectrum,and let me tell you that pussy was
so hearty that I got going downsyndrome. Alright, I'm a head out.
And then he well, Martin Norton, famous comedian Martin Norman, had
the same I forgot his set up, the same punchline. Well, this

(02:46):
was a fun podcast, and I'mlike, damn, I guess it's just
a race to the special. Itkind of is on special. Yeah,
it's you understand your special, bro, get it to down syndrome. Yes,
this has to be the most stuffI've ever had on my table all
at once, So I'm actually prey. Look at Joe Rogan's I'm so happy.

(03:09):
Oh my god, let's clean thisup. He's so just wants to
be Joe Rogan so bad? Areyou going for Joe Rogan? Whenever you're
calling high school football games and shippingand I don't call them just used.
I just worked the board. Wehave someone else that at your cave.
But yes, if I was doingthe calls, i'd be like Joe Rogan

(03:29):
at the UFC. He'd be like, oh, touchdown. I had a
dream I met Joe Rogan. Wow, you did that fast. You broke
the seals so quickly. That hasn'tbeen opened, no ceremony, nothing at
all. Oh my god, that'stwelve years old, are you no?

(03:50):
Yeah, so it's well, soit's distilled for seven years, and then
you kept it for another twelve,and I kept it for another five so
long as even a live hang on, say again, it's still for seven
years and seven, and I keptit for another five this is the fifth
year. How old are you,Daniel? I am twenty eight? All

(04:12):
right, are we doing a chairs? What are we doing? Guys?
Yeah? Where we David? Thispodcast? Boys Save our darks, Protect
our darks, Protect our darks,Protect our darks. To protect our darks.
We're drinking on some dark So thisshit looks good, Man choy,
boys and still water? Put whatboys were still in the water, I'd

(04:35):
play smooth. That's not smooth.I didn't have an issue taking that down.
I like that. I like that. I like that almost whiskey,
like that's yeah, it almost hasa whiskey. It's it just didn't have
some nice I think that's why Idisagree that it was expecting ground. It

(05:00):
almost has a rum like quality toit. It almost takes like rum.
I mean, it's been sitting fora while, boys, so it's got
a it's got a sweetness to it. I don't think for rom I don't
think twelve years is a long time. I don't know. This is age
for seven. There's some rum calledbanson. If it's already it was made,
give you a good boner. Itwas made in twenty ten, sat

(05:21):
for seven and then went on theshelf to be sold at seven years.
So oh, let's look that upJeanie Adil and yes, is this cuban?
Yeah? From l Ron Hubbard's distillery. Wow wow wow wow wow wow

(05:45):
wow wow wow. This is scientologist. Did you know you had some l
Ron Hubbard liquor? L Rum Hubbardis a picture of him right there.
He's ignoring me on he did livein Florida for a little bit. Sorry,
I got straight, I got Igot straight into the me. Oh

(06:05):
yeah, straight into the spell andlook on your phone. God, that
happened fast. Isn't it so fast? I'm gonna get pulled over and the
fucking cops again, ask hey,have you been drinking? Absolutely? Not,
like, do you what maybe changebefore you drive? Definitely? Absolutely?

(06:28):
I think my head. Really youcan't hear us? Can you not
hear us? I can't hear anything. We don't check the cord. Oh
no, you're not plugged in difficulties. Do you want to pause? No?
I don't, just keep it running. He's the tech guy. Damn

(06:48):
you said it before this podcast.Did he we're in? Did he tell
you coming support we plugged in?Yeah? I told him that he was
coming as a tech support you getthese cigarettes. From the look on his
face, I don't think that's true. Did you spill your broum on the
see you always had me trying tofix some ship in here garage door,

(07:11):
his leaky pipes. I mean you'vemade some upgrades since the last time I've
been here. Andrew Lake in hereand he's like, you need more lights.
Deliver him a pizza, extra sausage. You do need more lights.
This feels like an interrogation room.It doesn't look like it nearly as much
because the angles that you use.It doesn't look like it whenever you put
it on the internet. But doesthis not like with the light just above

(07:34):
your head? Do you not feellike he's about to ask you where you
were ingles that I have on theairnet. I've been here for like six
hours. Are you cant admit thatyou did nine eleven? Get him?
He'll start to mention my people isalong with Delta Airlines. Never nine to
eleven, fly fly Delta. Wedidn't nine to eleven. My people didn't,

(07:59):
So you say they didn't have nothingto do. It's all a conspiracy,
man, people are I think yourpeople did? Jfkn just fucking kidding.
Wait, is your people in withbush? No? Oh, Senior,
No, we just we fly carpetsnot Yeah, that was my confusing

(08:20):
like would night love it happened.I was like, it's we didn't definitely
your people. Yeah. I waslike, that's definitely a white person thing
to fly into buildings. And thenI heard and then for like buildings just
well, I was like, wow, I didn't know magic carpets could do
such a thing. It was actuallyblack people with superpowers could pie. I

(08:41):
was amazed that magic. Thank youfor acknowledging that. Do they though?
Yeah, they do not without whitepeople, right that crack cocaine. You're
welcome when you say some ship backdown, Joe, I do need you
queen this up? I have youdo? Man? What are you doing?
Sloppy? It gets sticky? Yeah, dude, sticky is gross?

(09:05):
Sticky is I hate stick What youtoddler speaking is sticky? Sometimes when it
gets sticky, you got a bullout of glicky. You got a glue
gun in here, dude, Iwish he could get a glizzy today.
The curdy shack is closed. Thecurty shack, the curdy Yeah, there's

(09:26):
a there's a hot bag joint outhere called the Curdy Shack. Oh,
it's really good. And they havea thing called the Dirty Curty, which
is a hot dog with like creamcheese in it. Aka what Happens at
John's Mom's house? Did you hearanything in that competition? H yeah,
they sent me to the my LittleHeadshot thingy today? What day are you

(09:46):
going? Uh? A Saturday thing? The twenty third is Adrian hosting that
show? Yeah? Well actually yeah, I think yeah he is. What
do you think I see him onthere? This? Uh contest casey?
I what Cody posted? Yeah?Okay, which one did you pick out?

(10:09):
Pick out? I don't know,I just grabbed one. Is this
the one you grabbed that's closes?Super Plussures is the super Plussure? Super
Plussures sounds like some furry ship.I don't know if I like this?
Do they are just running out ofwed weedstrain name super Splushers, super Blers

(10:37):
zapA. Honestly, I'm surprised thatnone of the videos that I posted on
TikTok I've been taken down yet becausethere's you smoking and joy in them.
Whoops. Yeah, the people likeseeing me smoke with Well, you're the
Highness exact podcast. So yeah,it's you're the The cool part is when

(11:01):
we do a podcast, it canflip either way. We can like I
can post it on the heey Castand then I can post it onto the
Highness and Boozer. Uh speaking ofthat, when are you gonna send me
the fucking videos? It's in mycar, in his car, on my
other phone. It is on myI got to one for the you don't

(11:33):
know that song? One. See, it's been a long time since I've
heard that song. One for yourmom and one for the bomb hoh,
because we'll be calling. Yeah,you gotta talk about cell phone ball.
Oh yeah, here's people that havethe two funds for the different takes.

(11:58):
Do you have any alca cel turnin here? Dude, No, I'm
trying to get There is a placedown the road that sells shrooms really like
the seeds or whatever they're it's notillegal until you inoculate it. Just like,
I didn't know that, and I'mlike, it's thirty dollars to get

(12:22):
it, and I was like,your honor, I didn't know you're not
supposed to inoculate. We own cows. I don't even know what innoculate means
your honor. So like we owncows. So I was thinking, just
go your own cow ship. Where'sthe beef, Daniel, their pets now
they were going to be beef andthen my step mom fell in love with
them and they became pets. Sowe have two ones, a pure longhorn

(12:45):
I believe, or a long hornmix. And then the other is to
get racial with the cows. Daniel, okay about the purity of the light.
So we have to do along,you know how we are we that's
why I have a golden region.I did my Disney joke and then I
said, I auditioned for the lastunicorn. That was a white sparrow.

(13:05):
That was a white sparrow. Ohyeah, the last unicorn. Yeah,
I was like, I auditioned forthe last unicorn. They said, they
said, I didn't get it.My home is tripping over the thigh of
my horn. No black cass unicorn, get a horny. Look at the
size of that horn. Don't lookat his horn, honey. That's how

(13:26):
they get you. Ben Daniels,the last unibomber or the first. That's
crazy. He like a pre helike a pre k unibomber. What like
he can Welcome to the first andlast podcast of Save Our Darks or Protect
Our Darks? Like, would yousay it? It sounds Kidzinski because he

(13:48):
only blow up. It sounds hateful. I can't say it, but he
was the one that named it,and it sounds less hateful when he says,
right, get it because I'm gettingyou. I'm an ally are you?
Are you not for me? I'man ally of the axes? Do
you not remember what happened in LowerManhattan nine? Oh? Manhattan, Kansas?

(14:15):
He just told you this. Peopledidn't do that? How many people
when they heard Manhattan was under attackthought that was Kansas? Everybody that went
to ubally, No one, no, not a single person. Manhattan was
attacked? Oh no, nobody.Coach Snyder's okay, Coach Schneider. What
was the what's the other one inKansas? It's got another fun name too,

(14:41):
Lawrence. Lawrence Lawrence, Kansas,Kansas City, Wichita, Anthony Kansas,
Anthony El Dorado, Texas or ElJaredo El Doo Elkark, Kansas was
a surprise guest on The Doctor TurpShow last night. I was, yeah,
that was funny. He did great. I made the joke about how

(15:03):
because Adrian booked the whole lineup andI was only like, non white dude
on there, this is a bunchof straight white males, guys. I
promised you I did not book thislineup. I would have put at least
a couple of brown people, ormaybe like a lady or two. And
it was like Mikey b supposedly ispart you know, Hispanic, but that's

(15:24):
like the Texas equivalent of white dudes, part Cherokee. He looks like he
looks more New Jersey than New Mexico. I thought he was from the East
Coast originally. Then he does lookAlbanian. You look, you look at
Albanian. I'll be damned. Ifanyone is like white white, it's me.

(15:50):
I'd beat everyone with the white.Yeah, I know you're super white.
Like if I look at your forearmsin this lighting, it hurts my
eyes. Yeah, you have thefirst farmer tan If we put a black
bead on him, oh no,I was wrong. It's worse. He
got he got swastikas. Whoa.I almost gave myself a tattoo yesterday.

(16:11):
I don't even catch any tattoos yet, but I've given myself a tattoo.
What would you have given yourself tattooof, Well, well, I really
wanted to do like a swastika orsomething, but but like the other way,
the other way, the other way. Yeah, it's just about saying
there's a actual good swatsikaa. Iwas like, maybe I could do like
my freaking astrological symbol, dude,but I I don't have enough tapestries on

(16:37):
my wall. Or we justify thatI'm starting to do leather work. Have
I told you guys that you've shownme. I know you've been hiding that
from us. You see the strapsof leather. I thought those were just
I thought that was like leather work, Like I'll be completely human leather work
like you have like a lamp.Yeah, once we're done here, you

(16:57):
guys are my perfect color that I'vebeen looking for. You're out of your
mind, both of us here.We could easily overpower you. Daniel.
Apparently you're not aware of the twoshotguns right under the table. That's why
that's why he spilled his drink thatis lace. Yeah, I spilled the
twelve year old freaking tequila. Areyou guys feeling dizzy yet? Twelve year

(17:19):
olds? You got hiding in here. Eh No, it's just Rising guys.
You're fine, sick over time?Hey, Rice all the time?
Do you not know Rising? Isyou remember you remember the interview? I've
driven a fucking Honda Eclipse before metoo. Isn't that a mist? A

(17:45):
second? It is Honda clips?What do you drive, daniel A hard
bargain? Yeah, keyword on hard. Well, I'm not Jewish, so
we need that fucking flints. Iwouldn't be here if yeah, exactly,
Yeah, I know you. Youknow it's hard because one of my producers

(18:07):
used to be Jewish. Well he'sstill Jewish, but you know my producer
was alive. Well, I meanI couldn't book Cavon. He's like,
is your producer still Jewish? AndI was like yeah, it's like,
can't come on man, sorry,I actually loved the Jews. We all
know that your producer was your firstbit of leatherwork. He has been around
mysteriously since you started doing that.I used to have three producers and they're

(18:32):
all gone now. No, mymy, well, my newest producer,
Mason, he's just life has caughtup to him. Never free. It's
weird. None of us has seenfuck which podcast did he do? Should
have introduced him to some people.He must have done Mason got Locked.

(18:56):
He must have done Cody Freeman's episode. Then I thought he did one of
your guys this episode? Was itthe kind of the hippier guy? No,
that was Stephen was so you rememberhim and you know Stephen because he
did come bastic or the Yeah waitStephen dead, no good, but we

(19:18):
act like it dead to us.Tulsa to me is a dead city.
So two producers of mine moved there. Really, Yeah, Tulsa just stealing
all the talent. You remember Alecthe other one that came to Yeah,
he moved to Tulsa too. Sothat was a good guy until he moved
to Tulsa. Now see those ridingin the bike lane, See those two

(19:41):
are dead to me. They movedto Tulsa. I never go to the
East side of Oklahoma moved to Tulsa. I'm just kidding. Broken Arrow,
Broken Arrow or Sand Springs. Iwould go to sand believe in the big
spy area and the other you maybe right somewhere around got a great incests
seeing out in Bixby, is itreally I've never been to bigs Well,

(20:04):
I've been to Bigsby for a footballgame. It's like, now I got
a reason have you? Have yousaid cotton picking yet? And one during
your announcement announcing don't do it?Don't he doesn't know. No. See
if I ever do the announcement,I want I want to pull it.
Don imus see he knew? Ohmy god? Wait is that the uh

(20:27):
the yes? Well no, hedidn't use it. I flicked join the
Rutgers National champions or something. Youdon't. You don't need to look it
up. You okay for the culture. Come on, now there's another oklahom

(20:48):
the teacher that got arrested for beingdrunk. People gott this is a different
school this time. Hold on,can I ask you about that? Did
you? You're a parent in Perkins? So before I pulled this up,
I just want to know, like, what what that exact school? Yeah,
your son is so he's in fifthgrade. She was the third grade.

(21:11):
Okay, I don't know. Ithink she's an actual teacher. There's
like a t a or something likethat. But yeah, it was like
I drove up to the school todrop my son off for the first day.
Yeah, I saw the video.I saw the cop cars up there
to come get her ass and droppedoff my son. I was like,
I almost said we could start tomorrow, buddy, because rolling up here,

(21:33):
I don't know what's going on,but fuck that ship. It wasn't this
one, was it? No?No, no, no no. I
feel like elementary school should have abar in the a little teacher lounge.
Was it a d U I orp I? I don't know, man,
it was a PU because that reallystunk for her. There is Kimberly,

(22:00):
yeah, and there's a new there'sa new lady too, and the
comes into coomsa really yeah. Isaw the body cam footage earlier. Y'all
need to pay these teachers more intospecifically requested the school recent hanging out like
two kids come on Coats a breathalyzertest. That is when she was arrested

(22:22):
and taken off school property the dropoff pickup lane right there the hall and
then she blew into a PBT andconfirmed that she did have out call in
her system. Third grade teacher atPerkins in your immediate school, Kimberly Coats,
began showing a different behavior in theafternoon hours of school. They say

(22:42):
school staff noticed Coats acting drunk anddecided to alert the superintendent. As soon
as the kids narked her out aboutthat teacher, they went into action.
They started doing what they needed todo, and that they they were doing
everything they could to keep make sureeverybody was safe at the school. The

(23:03):
superintendent's office sent a statement about theissue, saying it's crazy. At least
she wasn't shooting the fucking place Outcontinued, Yeah, I was gonna say
that's I think that's one of oneof the first things I said at work
when I heard about this. Ilike, my boss or someone told me
about this, and I was like, at least it's not a school shooter.
I mean, we're ranked number one. We do our jobs. You

(23:25):
know, we're we're the number onenation for school shooter. You're gonna say,
Oklahoma's like the number one stand No, we're the number one country.
Yeah, you don't see other peoplegetting shot? Come on, now,
so who's my Ari Shafir here?Anyone? Ari? You don't have an
air You've got a cavon talks outat a Brandon Kill. We don't operate

(23:47):
like that. But he said hewas Mark Norman. That makes me I'll
be Joe Rogan, so I couldsay megga nice, nice for at least
four minutes. You know what,I'll be Shane Gillis, so I can
just keep drinking bud lights. Yeah. Nice. I want to see you

(24:07):
get progressively more red in the faceas we progress. We might see that
very soon to be I got arrested. I don't have to bleep this name.
But did you know Andrew got arrestedrecently too? Yeah? And so
did obviously know? What's funny aboutthat? Daddy a policeman? Is your

(24:29):
daddy a policeman? No? Ithought I thought Andrew's daddy was a cop.
So many Griffins, so many bebes, God, there's so many.
I think you might be right aboutthat, is he? Yeah? Maybe
I'm wrong? Yeah, I payattention. Give me that. Please?
You can't have one? May Ihave one? Yeah? It's not even

(24:51):
mine? You chose to it.You look like you smoke pal moss.
They're already packed. Man, Whatare you doing? I knew I shouldn't
let you go up already. I'mwide you know how we are second guests?
Are you the second guest? Bnow yourself? What are you doing

(25:14):
with my ash? Trained and offthe Brown is about to pack. I'm
about to about gand off the brownnice here. I was precisely when he
means to. Yeah, I gotarrested in Casino and Norman. It was
crazy, would you get arrested forthe possession of goofiness? I was like,

(25:41):
here's the thing. You're autistic inmy opinion, I just figured your
doctor, Daniel, No, inyour opinion, doesn't fucking matter. But
I think I'm autistic too. Ithink everyone has some type of autistical.
It takes one to blow on,you know, Bringingdon, I'll admit this.
We've been partners for the Highness andBoozer for a while now. That
sounds like, why do I feellike what I've thought you've had a slight

(26:06):
autism, like point zero one percentautism? Do you know how much autism?
I think I have? Seventy fivepercent? At least You're not qualified
to quantify that at all. That'sa bar. And do you want to
know why I say this? It'sbecause you guys like you Brandon and Cavon,
because you guys are doing great inthe comedy scene. I feel like

(26:26):
I'm gonna make a wish child whenyou guys come onto my podcast. What
you mean by that, I'm justis you about to die? No?
I just I just feel really likehorny, blessed that, like I have
friends that will actually that believe inthe podcast and actually do it. I'm
you know, I believe that.I'm here right now trying to have a

(26:48):
real moment right here. I love. I drove an hour here, I'm
with the program. It's for you, Daniel. I don't believe in you.
I mean, if Brandon wasn't here, I brought were you smoking over
there to Tobago? This is kindof what is it the voodoo? I
already smoked all that. I gottaI gotta hit my guy Armando up at

(27:11):
Crescent City's cigar shopping islands and belike, hey, Armando, you need
to send me more gold a wagon. Why? Because I mean, j
R. E is my inspiration forthis podcast. You are dark incredible because

(27:33):
human shops are closed because they lineup with the liquor stores for some goddamn
reason. So you waited till todayto have this idea good thing. I
brought night. I ubered last night. I was super busy last night because
of the football game, and thenI had to work as well. At
the radio station that has to stayunnamed because I signed it in more like

(27:56):
the GADEO Station disclosure agreement. Andyeah, so like you know, sound
like some host shit to me,so you can't really talk about it.
And I had to work there thismorning too, or this afternoon. So
you missed my birthday show, didn'trecord it like you were supposed to.
We're going to release this. Iknew this was coming. Yeah, I

(28:18):
know you're mad. I got thefeeling when I was texting you that you
weren't replying. But then again Iwas actually texting your phone number. Oh
yeah, no, I got thosemessages. Oh okay, yeah, Brandon
might have a ship phone that barelygets reception. I don't not anymore now

(28:40):
yep, oh yeah, yeah yougood. Now he's good. Now there's
a more No more crack on hisscreen, no more crack alack him unless
he's doing rails off it nice.I need another a lot. Get you

(29:03):
there, you go. That's christHonestly, that's it, Chris. That's
proper. Now, that's proper.That's proper. Now you are you you
there? Now? Proper? Twelveproper to opinions on McGregor coming back real
quick. Just he shouldn't just becool with being rich. I feel like,
once your legs like snaps in half, you should be he should be.

(29:27):
I understand you're tough guy coming back, I mean he'd be looking jacked.
Who's he going against coming back?Challenging like Randy Orton Fury Tyson.
Somehow I watched Randy Orton Connor McGregor. I think that's where it needs to
be at this point. Let's seewhat's his next fight? Uh wow,

(29:52):
Butterbean, Butterbean versus Connor McGregor,gold Dust versus Connor that I would pay
for money. But Hunter Hurst HemsleyViva Mexico. Connor g shorter than me.
Yeah, I didn't realize he's soshort. That'll be wild. Just
somebody that's like a tower over thatcould probably kick the show. I think

(30:15):
you get Nate Diaz on her.Oh yeah, I think you're really good.
Michael Chandler is his next fight inDecember? December yep man once she
snapped that snapped out All twenty four. He will face Joan. I'm here
to watch it. He has anotherpaycheck for him? Is that how you
pronounce it? Gatha Jay Geigee Gaigieand then close the trilogy against Nate Diaz.

(30:38):
Bro, he's gonna go and threeis the money at this point.
Pretty style, I don't know.Let me see what Michael Chandler's full of.
Like I I've never seen I've neverseen Michael Chandler actually fight. I
mean, he's a pretty I've neverseen you fight, pretty fish, a

(31:00):
physical specimen. I want to seehim against Poor Year because I mean that's
who uh what was it, uhMcGregor, Yeah, his game day.
I used to be part of ayouth m M a program down in Nolpasso
called Kids Engages. Technically, technicallythe nose bleeds at any UFC event is

(31:26):
the best seats you want to bein the nosebleeds. There you go.
This was a little so, thisis Poor Years. Michael Chandler just don't
look like he can do a lot, but he he pretty nice with it.
Bro, he's in the white.He's squarely, motherfucker squirrely. When

(31:49):
Nick Campbell joining the UFC, NickCampbell was my arresting officer. Look at
that wide stance. I got thesame haircut. You like that wide stance.
He is a wide stand. Imean that motherfucker. Just like he
got a lot of center of gravity. I feel like they haven't landed anything
yet. Quick. He cut inthe angle and he hitting quick. I

(32:15):
mean Dustin Pier is an elite fighter. Het him. Oh my one hold
that Dustin is the one that tookwell. He didn't really technically even take

(32:37):
down Connor. I mean, onpaper, Dustin should win this because he
got the length advantage. You gotthe height. He does doesn't. He
does look just more you know,more ship, more chiseled, but better
haircut, better haircut, better haut. Definitely, that's the problem. Michael
Chandler, He's just Chandler. Hekind of he gotta like what Sean Drugan

(32:59):
is described this man. I mean, look at his good he does have
some He does have got some barrelchested that's there. That's what. Yeah,
I don't know how to describe it. What is this, Moms?
Three minutes in three minutes or threeminutes less sequence for Chandler. Chandler's landing.

(33:22):
At least he's in him compos bro, He's got him back in the
corner shot. I don't watch UFCthat often, so have you ever seen
me fight? I got a prettymean Sandy hook. Well, I'm about
to hopefully here in October, I'mgonna have a UFC slash BRONC slash bull

(33:45):
Rider on. He fights, sowill definitely because you only last eight seconds.
Don't tell the women that. Ijust tell the boy. Can we
Now? He's talking? Now,he's talking. Now, he's getting comfy
with it. This is the wholefight, By the way, I don't

(34:06):
want to go through the whole fight. I'll skip through the skip to the
skip to the Oh ship, Isee some grappling. Lets get that.
Let's get us some ground game.Round three. Oh hold that dick to
the back to the back house.Clean as fuck. But no, no,
he's still all right. Dustin's gothim. Dustin's got him in half
guard. He fine, he's justchilling right now, is he goet?

(34:29):
That's not ideal he's getting any timea person on your back, But they
slipper. He can get out this, he can. He can just chill.
First sec his nose is rib thenosebleeds. Round three with three twenty
I left. It's not easy tochoke someone out because you got to really
exert the strength. And he fightingit. See these hits, don't look

(34:51):
that bad. They're not that badbecause he's so close and he can't hit
him in the back. Yeah,or elbow him, I don't think.
But he could do some pain complying. Ain't ship like he's trying to get
him choked. That's it. That'sit. I mean, that is pretty
sunk deep. Yeah, he tappedthat's it. Three damn Wow. He

(35:16):
just kind of let him have itget my back. Wow. He could
have fought that a little better.But I think I feel like, I
don't know, dude, that thissport is so much more complicated than it
is it is. I mean,his nose was gushing, so I'm like
maybe he was just like, letme just tap me out. Do you
want to watch this one? He'sgonna watch? Well, no, I

(35:37):
just call brendan shop and get himon here and let's do it. Boys.
Here, you see how excited hegot. Get him we can tap
him in. Did I just skipthis, ladies and gentlemen with the cauliflower?
Dude, this is the interview.His interview is actually hilarious. That

(36:06):
broke me leg. That broke mefucking leg. Oh fuck his wife.
You know, I think this isby actually officially bought bollocks and it only
last We had a broken bow.No, I had a fracture. What's

(36:27):
that shoot again? Now this ship, this ship, this ship is pretty
wild. They don't they don't gotoo long. I forgot the second round
five ten minutes. Yeah, butConnor's post fight interview while he's like just
on the ground with the broke astleg, it's pretty dope. The thing
is, look at him working hislegs. He doesn't look terrible. Oh

(36:49):
he goes straight into the leg though, Yeah, that's what's doing it.
He's using his legs so much.I think, I think, I think
he checked a kick and then italready like cast some ship, and then
he took a backstep and then itjust buckled. It makes Yeah, you

(37:12):
don't take to his legs a lotmore. And this was his last fight,
wasn't it. Yeah, this washis last fight. He hasn't come
back since. Yeah, I meanit's come he had a real serious fucking
injury. But he fucking stocky.Watch how much he's using his legs.
We've only seen him use his arms. Yeah, that's that's the thing,
is there, there's the arms.Well, he's fought this fucker before,

(37:34):
so he probably has his length isin his Oh my god, his length
is in his legs. I thinkif I remember, he went to for
a kick and then Pourier checked itwith his shin and then that's what sucked
it up. And then he wenton a backstep and then got rocked.
I don't know if they made itto two. Doctor stopage, doctor stopage.
He's he's just calling for a doctorstoppage because it don't affect his record

(37:57):
the same way as a as alost loss. God, I'm not ready
Brandon either. So when it happens, he was still talking about wife at
time, like right, I rememberthat chat her Carol up a little later
that little was it his? Uh? I mean McGregor, I mean he's

(38:19):
still him though, God got youwith silver Man. I can't watch that
silk which one where he fucking snapshis fucking leg and half dude like that
was that after this, after thisone? Let's bring that one, No,
dude, it makes me light aheadof this fuck bro like I've broken
bones, like I broke feel thatship. I've broken my fucking arm.

(38:45):
He's been used and cracked ribs.I've been shut, I've been stabbed,
I've been. I've never broken myleg breaking like he almost had him here.
If he wentn't on the fence,he he would have had him in
that guillotine. Son, that fenceis the only thing he and keeping him
alive, sinking in by. Buthe's so slippery. It's hard. You're

(39:08):
so slippery. I mean, you'reright, this podcast isn't gonna get a
little while of break. At thesame time, you guys are doing so
much together. That's why I hadboth of you on, Like you're doing
a lot with Cody Smith. Oh, pose it, man, it's it's

(39:37):
still water internet. Yeah, dude. The Cody Smith stuff has been a
dream come true because he's like reallyactually a genuinely care coming up. He's
about to break his juxtaposition of havinga conversation about Cody is about to happen.
Is that's why I paused it sostressful to Cody almost looks like Dustin
Bourrier. It's right here, herewe go. He's about to get up.

(40:04):
Watch watch, I can't, Ican't. Fourteen seconds left. It
didn't even make it. Not toobad. It didn't make it the first
round. It's about watch, it'sabout top right here. Oh it happened
very subtle. It's very subtle.Oh, it's very subtle. Yeah,
it's very subtle. But you inslet's watch it in so show doctor.

(40:36):
He's pointing straight at it. He'slike bra bro Oh god, doctor sto.
It's a hell of a sport.It is fucking Hey, we watched
the interview. Oh god, theinterview lit. You're gonna watch the interview.
Watch that Mike Tyson pre fight interviewwhere that dude starts just doing poetry.

(41:00):
Ain't gonna fucking mate, I'm gonnafuck you to you love me?
No, it's uh, it's uh, the the white dude that he's fighting.
They just it is the first fightwhen Mike first got out of prison
in the nineties. Are you notgonna do the post fight interview that ship
let me do the post Yes,yes, damn. I was gonna do
the your some of the best shiptalking after breaking your leg I've ever heard.

(41:23):
We can't watch this. Oh god, I feel sick and dum was
that one Sam song? Sam Smithson? That's all I remember? That narrows

(41:45):
That one is like, here wego, give us your thoughts on how
it was going. The blade andhead off. I'm kicking the blade legof
to close the distance. He's notover. If we had to take you,
I'm sorry with him till I'm sayingwe don't give up. He said

(42:07):
that he believed that what broke yourleg there was an out check. It
was not one of my check.Your bofe is in me. Dany baby
lay in the corner, completely shattered, fucking like I love this absolutely,

(42:30):
Like, hey, I just wantto I'm not sleeping back us what you
felt, tell us what you thoughtwas going on. Jusep Dan had separated
and we blading London on the wonkyleg like Henderson syl Yeah, god wrenching,
Oh my god, listen, itwas a wild fight for as long

(42:51):
as it lasted. I'm sure you'llbe back, and I'm sure you're gonna
want Touston again, and I'm surehe'll oblige you that he'll oblige you.
To me, that is funnier thanany Joe Rogan bit or anything that he's
done down there. Just to say, Nate, the fact that he always
runs up to get the interview orthe post fight interview, no matter what

(43:14):
state that pain. Connor, Iknow your legs broke like they're niggas that
have woken up to smelling salts andJoe Rogan in their face, Like,
what do you think happened? Idon't even know where the funk I'm at?
How fuck his wife? This isthe fucking Savage Ship auditioned for this

(43:34):
particular reaction video right here for youguys. Noise that won't go through to
the stomach, were watching the face? Is that clinch from Big Dash was
able to push about to find out? I'm not ready for this. This
is gonna be my reaction to coming. Just in the opening round from Big

(44:00):
Dash had another one, Oh mygod, you can't do the small wings
as a dude, because it lookslike you got chicken wings exact buffalo wings.
Is that? Yeah, it's Curtissucking up said the clinches where Big

(44:23):
Dash can possibly drain some of theman. Yeah, that's You're not getting
like this later because it's a collection. Bro, why are we doing this
right the reaction videos? I needthe reaction? Do we see some knockouts

(44:43):
at least? Like I didn't knowwe were coming on the podcast, Like
watch that crack neck fractures. We'rewaiting for broken bones? Dude? Why
why here? You go all right, fine looking look out for chaos and

(45:04):
UFC broken bones made me stretch myship out? A what stretching this ship
out? Gross? You nasty motherfucker. Oh you need two thousand and two
or twenty twenty two, greatest,Let's just uh, let's plant out the
North Carolina trip right here? Stan, it was this, Yeah, should

(45:29):
we just get flights playing fights?Yeah? Well I don't know, man,
we can They're pretty cheap, andyeah, Charlotte, we can do
it. Sorry, I've been youknow. Didn't that show get pushed back?
Did it? Drinking drinks? Thatwas the one we're supposed to do

(45:52):
on the way back. Did youguys just take over my podcast? Yes?
This is you were just playing.I'm just walking. Yeah, I
was just but the yeah, no, the the Black Apple when it's still

(46:13):
on okay, and so I thoughtI thought that changed, and then that's
why I was like, yeah,no, it was the one we're supposed
to do on the way bag thatgot canceled, which is good because now
I'm on the Andrew Roast thing atBrooktown Company Club going shoot with uh.
I had a dream with Chandler init. Channel Ron probably wouldn't before he's
done. He wouldn't, that wouldn't. That's thesue. Has Chandler done to

(46:35):
kill Tony yet? I don't knowhe's anti k Tony because Anthony Jezzelnick told
him didn't to be anti kill Tony. Really, yeah, he really did.
He really don't funk around with allthat ship. I don't know,
I really talks, but he's like, hey, don't funk around with all
that ship. It's not good tofocus on being funny. He's a purist,
Anthony. Yes, I mean that'sthe opinion of one man. That's

(47:00):
more claim than I don't know.I feel like a good thing too.
I mean I feel like I mean, I feel it's productive. With the
opportunity that Anthony just gave to Chandler, I would listen. I would listen
to whatever advice he asked. I'msure Chandler can elaborate on that, but
that's what he said that he Someof the advice he'd got is don't get
caught up in all this podcast theship because it's just like kind of flavor

(47:22):
of the month thing. I don'tknow, whoops, but I'm not talking
about this one. This is thisis getting syndicated you were on sin but
uh, I don't know. Hejust said, don't don't, don't like
go out of your way to tryto be on like kill Tony and Ship
because I don't know. I don'tknow. He said they could make fun

(47:45):
of you, and that's not cool. I think he is cool. I
don't. I don't see the problemwith it you have. Intuitively, I
think it's you know, it's goodfor your brand. Yeah, because a
lot of people watch it that aren'tcomedians, and people are always like,
I mean, it seems fine.Brandon like a fine idea. Talked about

(48:06):
it last podcast about Cam Patterson.I mean, what's the worst? What's
the worst? Red band shares ahotel room with you? What? I
want that to happen. Hey,I can't give you a show, but
if you want to stay with me, no, he'll book you on the
Yeah, what is this show theVatican? No? What is this show?

(48:27):
For silent show? Or the silentThis is a secret show? Or
is there not an airport in Arkansas? I would assume face you got a
little rock, a little Rock andFaiteville. That's the only two towns I
know. Okay, a little allright, be careful there though I've heard

(48:50):
it's a What do you mean dulyby your side? Is that the song?
Yeah? Sure canne By? Yeah, you're right. Yeah, look

(49:15):
at the television and you'll see whyI've highlighted number eight in the nation.
Be careful, buddy, for whatviolent crimes it's gonna be like going best
in Alabama is right? Alabamia,Alabamia? What I get it from?

(49:43):
Where? Row album? A LittleRock to Charlotte isn't Monroe? Where Dynasty
is Shakespeare? That's where marilynne Uh, wasn't we gonna wasn't We're gonna watch?
Actually pull up the Connor McGregor talkingship to Uh, fucking that British

(50:05):
guy, what's his name? I'llfind it dead? Air is always great.
Yeah, man, you derailed thisthing about trying to show me snapped

(50:28):
legs and ship fucking assholes. Doyou know the reason they say break a
leg is that they hope you makethe cast. Yeah, they hope you
get in the cast. Hell yeah, I learned that on fucking beat a
Geek. I learned that from azoo book. Get a zoo book,
Eddie Alvarez. No, it's thatBritish guy, Dude, he'd be talking

(50:51):
ship to Hella people talking hell ofthis what I'm saying. I'm like,
there's so many people that he've taught, He's talked ship like, look yeah
this ship. Did you check fronthere? I'm about you right now?
God what? Oh? Michael Bisping, Michael bism Sorry, I'm determined to
talk about this because I saw thatit bothered Daniel. Dude. I love

(51:13):
doubling down on John's mom s Oh, Connor McGregor versus ice cream? Is
that typing? Michael Bisping voicemail,Connor McGregor, Michael Bisping voicemail, Michael
Fisting, Michael Fisting, Well inyou, Yes, you know what I'm

(51:43):
talking about now. It's kind ofsucking it up in the beginning. But
do you want to go to thewar? Do you want to go the
fucking more security? Little sausage overthe security. We're just stay when you're
in Vegas again the Lapeck's funny Path. Keep my name out of your fucking

(52:09):
thing behavior you're on it. You'rea little dope. You up the minks
when you belong, your little clown, your little sprinter intelligible, your little
sprinter, your little sprinter like hesprinted away from the game, you little

(52:30):
sprinter, dude. It's so insaneand I love it. I love it.
Wow, he's you know how nervingthat would be, not because of
like the threats, but just becauseof how like oddly sexual he sounded like.
That was almost like he was definitelydrunk and coatdown. It was almost

(52:51):
like a booty call voice. Youknow what I'm saying, like, Oh
yeah, let me see when youcome down to Vegas and come talk to
me, own little your splendor,little splinter. Are you gonna drink that

(53:12):
beer in the coolerunt? God,I just bought beer. I bought beer
to waste on Cavon and then Imean I didn't know you had a leprosy
in a bottle. I mean Ididn't. And then he was like,

(53:34):
hey, do you have liquor?Brandon's birthday was the Demon Cat died.
I had a bury cat. Ihad to bury my favorite cat in the
world on on acid. Was crazybirthday. On his birthday, I to
leave the birthday festivities to go burymy cat. Hey just want to do
a to Sydney. I can't rememberlike Scott or Casey. She was the

(54:00):
one that delivered that havana. Really, Yeah, you don't know if her
name is Sydney or Casey. Wellno, no, no, her name
is Sydney, but her last name, I'm pretty sure she just got she
got married a few years ago,so you know, like, yeah,
it changes. Thank you for thedelivery, and thank you for forgetting this,

(54:20):
thank you for forgetting the stars,the uh, the little I had
getting a little crazy today. Ifeel like I'm gonna be the probably Shane
Gillis of the podcast. God dangit, just be the Daniel Heeley of
the podcast. Just be the DanielHeel that you are. I get stepped

(54:49):
on. Yo, Hey that Arkansasthing is on the twenty eighth, right,
yes, just can't go through this, dude, we're never together any
more. Yeah, we would needto fly back on the thirty and you're
never together anymore. Yeah. We'vebeen trying to make this happen for how
long? Now? About Tree Week, about straight Way tray Way. Adrian

(55:15):
hit me up maybe a month ortwo ago, and uh, threatened your
life. Well no, he wantedto come onto the podcast, and I
think things came up and just shipdidn't come through. I'm seeing like fire
damn, it got so much moreexpensive. Where's the really? Where is
then? Who did that? Neck? Pillows in a room in Tennessee?

(55:40):
It is nice, nice and byDaniel's my home. Two episodes in a
row. How do you feel,Daniel? Where where Let's say this is

(56:01):
probably gonna go into two different episodes. Long already pretty long, Arkansas eighth,
Arkansas eight, Charlotte's the twenty ninth, that's right, and then I
gotta be almost back at batown onthe foist. The answer, whye,

(56:21):
hey, it is almost seven,but it's not yet and we're barely we
barely correct this fucking pot open,dude, We barely have busted open this
can of worms. Yeah, bitch, yeah, beach. Hey, let's
talk about you started talking? Yeah, how are we going to protect You're
talking about how are you gonna protectyour two darks? You got it here?

(56:44):
How are you gonna protect us dowdprotect your darks? Protect for you,
guys. I always share your informationto the government. Make sure that
part that that part, that partwell mainly mainly you Cavon. I make
sure the government is aware of you, you and knows about you. At
least I got stopped at the airport. I don't know if you've noticed more

(57:08):
from medical experiments like uh, youknow, but like I've signed you up
for quite a few the human typeadno more like vaccinations kind of stuff,
you know, because the government shouldbe trusted. I want to swim this
microphone around and it's hard enough forit to smack you in the face.

(57:32):
Can we get a quick hard rfor me, Daniel, just for the
culture retard? Damn it? HardRBS is that where you like to go.
You're not going there? You intoit at all, dude, since
the curdishack ain't open. Remember thattime we went what retard? We went

(57:52):
to Shortcakes. I can't stand you. I want to go to shortca yellow.
I don't care. Godly is thepart where you zoom in and say
this is Brandon regretting all of hislife decisions coming on to the heel cast.

(58:15):
Yeah, the constat jet feelies doingthe h I drove out here for
this. You're trying to show mesnapped femis. I'm gonna snap femis like
McGregor say, your wife is inmy dmos. Wow, I'm gonna go
heenus laughing at these niggas like hyenas. You know Daniel heaty like he liked

(58:38):
them penises and he got a smallpenis. He likes to lick dudes weenus.
That's the where's yours at? Average? Where's yours there? It is
that you touched it? I feellike average. No, it's actually rusty

(59:01):
elbows. What would you have saidif the roast? Did you have any
jokes? Or did you just likeknow that you again wing it, gonna
make it? No, you werejust gonna wing it me? You should
know me? How do I docomedy now? Like exactly? It looked

(59:24):
like a big bird got tard andfeathered. No, I wrote a I
wrote a few things. I said, Cavon projects gay more than a homosexual
porno theater. Did you g getlike did you guys get a podium?
And stuff? Like? A lotof changed up at the last minute,
but it was still a dope cool. How was it? Because I like

(59:45):
my whole image was I was gonnago up to a podium where everyone was
sitting on stage or whatnot? Youknow how like you know like how a
roast is. That's kind of howI imagine it. It was basically like
that. But the diis wasn't onstage, so it was just the person
that was roasting me and then mesitting on stage at all time. The
dias. I was gonna ask you, what the what's that fancy word?

(01:00:07):
That's the group of comics that usuallyare sitting on the opposite side of the
stage waiting to roast. That's whatthat means. Cool, dude, we
need that. There's gonna be likea thing that comes up that has the
definition of a dias when you sayit, because I don't know, I
don't know what that means. Imean, I'm pretty sure there's a definition
that isn't like applicable to comedy roastshows, but probably some old Greek ship.

(01:00:34):
It's what sounds like, probably gotsomething to do with the Senate or
something, I don't know, somethinghis console of comedians, his contract.
That's least something that black people didn'tused to be able to participate in.
It was a CONSORTI but it wasfun. We all made fun of Brandon
and everybody else. I forgot tomake fun and then I fucking murdered these

(01:00:58):
motherfuckers. He did. He didme gay. I had jokes and made
a pun about me, and Iwas like, damn. What was the
other one? Oh? I said, Kavon got canceled to being a shitty
comic, which is crazy to mebecause there's so many words yep, yep
about him. And I looked atmy sister and say, he right.
So I only learned two things.I learned about you, Like I did

(01:01:21):
my research about the Middle East andeverything. You're kind of an easy target,
no offense. What part of theMiddle East, because that could be
you did none of the correct research. I said, I was going to
cook you Pakistani kabab's as you're youknow, that was going to be your
dog you mean dog meat, wow, Jewish meat. Okay, it's let's

(01:01:46):
veer away from all of this.Some kosher some kosher poodle now. And
then I had women jokes. Allright, I'm ahead out, That's all
I asked. Watched it did nothave enough for Brandon, like I was
getting prey basically, just come outand be like, Brandon's a great guy.

(01:02:07):
He was gonna come out, folks. Finally I was gonna like,
just she's a great guy. Hegave me the opportunity to be partners in
a great podcast called The Highness andBoozer, but My greatest joke is women's
rights. Thank you guys, you'regoing to roast me or just gonna plug
our ship and then bash women terrorism. We're not saying that women can't.

(01:02:36):
Don't forget the terrorism. Sorry,what were you thinking of? I'm not
saying that women can't vote? Okay, never mind they shouldn't. Never mind
they shouldn't. I don't know.I'm sorry, I asked. I said,
Ashley Watt Watson's plus it's called Masiosbecause there's kind of greasy and it
if heeds the whole family after churchand you can. I cigarettes they're in

(01:03:00):
certain locations. And then he calledeveryone gay. I did. That's why
I ended up saying he projects gamemore than homosexual movie theater. And then
he tried to say something from outin the crowd and I was like,
no, you most definitely in thecloset. Brou sit down. Well,
I had I had a direct onefor Ashley that I didn't even tell her.

(01:03:20):
My direct one was like Ashley Watson'shouse and Vagina looks like a daycare
because it's filled. He has somany kids from different guys because it's filled
with dad children. Dam So youshould have been there. I said,

(01:03:42):
Daniel Healey look like every rapist.I'm glad. Now, did you really?
I mean, I had that planeif you were there, I didn't
see he was in the back.I said, Well, Ashley texted me
today and she's like, yeah,you were talked about. I was like,
I don't know if that's a goodand not in a good way.
I mean it was a roast.Nobody was talking about in a good way.
I didn't see. I want tosay she looked like the aborted rate

(01:04:02):
baby between four ever twenty one inHot Top. Oh wait, that's just
zoomies. Those were like two buzzwordsthat really are unfortunate. Aborted rate baby,
yeah, okay, three I guessyeah, those are like, uh,
it's our new band name, abortedweird thing. The weird thing is

(01:04:26):
Spotify. Me censor that, buteverything else will be. Dude, it's
a band, it's art. I'mnot cool. It's a you know,
just text me if you want shipsensored. I guess it is your podcast.
Don't put this it's a lesbian coreband. Don't put this on.
Don't put this on. It's fourlesbians on base and like a bitch on
bonga. Are you okay. No, No, he's not okay. That's

(01:04:49):
it, folks. Cavon seems tobe a little I feel like I've drink
right now. But at the sametime, he's a hard liquor dude.
His his favorite catch has passed away. I know it's you can be okay
to drive. I have a couchfor you, but I'm gonna go sleep
at Shortcakes? Are we going thereafterwards? We can should your eyes just

(01:05:15):
we got to go to Shortcakes onthat you have last time from this area.
I'm not from this area. Justhave family in this area. No,
you went to high school here,didn't you? I went to I
just had this conversation. I wentto junior high here, but you went
to high school. I was onlyout here for a couple of years.
Would you go high I have familyout here, like I went to like

(01:05:38):
several different high schools, but noneof them was still Water High. But
I thought you went to play insports. Can you believe that Brandon played
sports? See, I guess becauseyour kid is in the Perkin school system.
I assumed you went to at leastthe high school because I knew you
went to junior high here. Honestly, I have family out here in still
Water and then like the Perkins thingis more recent. Okay, I didn't.

(01:06:03):
I didn't realize that. I justI know you have the connection with
your father and everything in Perkins nowand everything. But like I did,
like, I don't know if thisis a white person thing or just a
person person. It is okay,cool, but I just yeah, assumptions.
I thought, like, you know, you did junior high here and

(01:06:24):
then you did high school in Perkins, and that's why you want so I
did high school at a PC Westuh Vietnam City, the west no one
is from. He went to thesame high school as me, for I
went to Punham City West. Youknow him then? Or were you just
gay? Still? No, it'sjust I mean I'm much older than him,
at least a few years older thanthat. Old are you? Uh

(01:06:46):
thirty two? You're thirty? Ijust turned thirty seven, Like, why
do you do it? God damnit, I keep thinking you're only a
few years older than me. Idon't know why. I'm I'm only twenty
eight. I'm so much more maturethan you. I don't know why think
are you? Absolutely you look terriblefor twenty eight. I'm kidding. You

(01:07:13):
look good. I can't wait tillI'm sixties. No, I love it.
I love the look. I don'tknow. You look like you pro
you play pro baseball, appreciate it. Back in the eighties, I wish
you did. You look like acharacter from a Major League or like a
shitty spin off sequel to Major League. Because I couldn't afford to make Let's

(01:07:35):
make a door. Call it DoorGeneral Major League, minor league guys coming
League and twenty coming in twenty twentyeight Storing Brandon Kilo and Daniel Healey.
Oh no, I'm not going tobe in the movie. I gonna need

(01:07:56):
you. I'm gonna need you toplay co storring Cavon Tazeta as the Shawman.
But you've got to do it toachievement. Light. Just let this
under that the light? What wasthe You remember the Dominican Republican guy from
Major League that believed in Vodo?Yes, and I remember the dude that

(01:08:20):
was like, you ain't got nomo put this song for the time being.
Oh are you damping him up?Yeah? It's gonna complete the baseball
look. Oh god, there mightbe a kink in my chain. Don't
don't make don't give me, don'tdon't make him think he's cool. Dude,
Let's do D M T in alibrary and then go to shortcakes.

(01:08:45):
You're really gonna make him think thathe's living that Joe Rogan life. You
need to calm down with Clasp itfrom the front, whip it around the
back of you on it, andthen, uh, you're so mad at
this, you're gonna do it aroundthe headphones like, at least put the
left hand under the there there,that's how all right? Motherfuck. I

(01:09:05):
won't help you out next time.I just want to wrapped up and look
like a dufus. I want tofantasize that you're a living you know,
fucking there it is all right?Do you feel do you feel like you
can? Really like you got alittle more swagged here? It looks so
wrong, so wrong. It doesmakes me feel a little better about myself.
You shouldn't. I wish I hada bigger one on me. It

(01:09:27):
makes me feel like I should bepitching. Do you look like I usually
got a independent country artist that oftensays the N word. You look like
you look like you got like BrianZach, like Morgan, Elie, Brian
Zach. Didn't Zach Brian get arrestedjust like me at the casino. Like

(01:09:49):
it's like Robert, Yeah, Lukeis a good one. What did you
say, Robert, m m.That's one Daniel Willie Robertson, Jada cotton
picking Stevens. God damn picket aboutBilly Joe is one Billy Joe. God

(01:10:12):
this chain by Joe. I don'tknow how I feel that I know multiple
women that really bothers me. Youneed to work. There's a kink on
the left side and you just kindof work it out. It's called Daniel
Lee. Isn't it a little bitjust tuk job? You get a little
tuk job. He's got a niceand he's good at that nice and to

(01:10:35):
what did you do to make thisfucking kinks right here? I'm kinky gross.
I was throwing neck, was throwhis neck. He's pitching woo what
you throwing? I was head bashingto. I was head bashing to a

(01:10:58):
band called a boarded ray Bay Baby. He said he's pretty sure he knows
what that means. Dude, doyou not listen to a boarded rate baby
band? You kind of stop somuch editing. Thank you for more distance
between me and him. So youlisten, you're not supporting, you talk,
you'll you'll be in one screen andthen when he talks. It's gonna

(01:11:21):
take me a wild boys to editthis one. But it's a band just
like the Joe Rogan Experience band.That's a genial's favorite band. You borded
rape Baby, God, no stop, it just don't belong together and and

(01:11:43):
those three do. All right,guys, Well, thank you coming on
to the Aborted rate Baby podcast.That was actually one of my other roasts
toward Kevon. I was like,thank you all for coming out to watch
Kvon get canceled once again. Yeah, it was close. I was like

(01:12:06):
a ship. I really be sayingeverybody gay in front of children and monks.
There's monks, there's monks, monksand attendance children to monks. There
were bet monks on Where was thisvenue? It was norm up Together,
it was the theater, Yeah,up Together venue and Norman but the inside

(01:12:30):
wasn't done yet, so they actuallyput us in this little outside pavilion area
that they share with lazy circles.Brewing big ups to them because they came
in clutched and saved the day.Uh, and said we gave them one
of their best Friday nights they've everhad, so good turnout. Look at
the monks. Yeah, I actuallysaid, like everyone was talking about me.
You remember the monks. Like themonks. I was were story,

(01:12:57):
Where the hell is Healey is he? No one gives I have a story?
I thought she was lying. Iwas like one or two people said
something, but we were were likeDaniel's Gay's probably calling a football game.
I did tell him you were callinga high school football game because I thought
your job was more important than itactually, as I thought you were calling,
don't you call for the energy?No, he doesn't call anything.

(01:13:18):
Well, I was trying to Brandonand I could become the voices of the
new XFL game team that we weregetting. I said, you look like
an XFL coacher XFL or ufler.You know what we need to do.
We need to get on fire Festtoo. Well. I mean, the
main goal for me is I'm tryingto pitch a show either to where I'm

(01:13:43):
working with me and Brandon as aclean audience and we kind of do a
morning show where I drive at home, kind of like drive to Home.
The Sickest Ship a morning show wherewe talk about, Hey, guess what,
Brandon, this be included and neitherwill be. You're a fu.

(01:14:03):
Medication will not be in medication.You're not You're not being medica Shine Medicare's
cocumbamba put it in your ba.I'm so tired of you guys. Where
your mama's put I don't think we'vebeen running that long. Really, I

(01:14:25):
don't know what's the board saved saysone fifty eight O seven one seventeen Ah
no now in eighteen minutes. Yeah, we haven't been running long. Then,
appreciate you doing that, though,I really do thank you. I
would ask my producer, but theydon't fuck with you. No more Daniels

(01:14:45):
see producer, bring more cocumba.Put it into water. You have any
cocumba water your mother could provide.Anyways, guys, thank you for Hey.
The last time I uh, youknow how to go bury my cat
on acid? The last time Ihad to bury him that much pussy.

(01:15:06):
I was here because your mama livehere. Do you have the do you
still have the connection? I don'twith the no mo what connection to the
Mario DJ crack okay d d DJ. What we were talking about earlier to

(01:15:30):
the sports sports you talking about mythamphetamine and just because I'm yes, and
because that had that mustache and weactually have time out. We have three
different drugs here, myth, crackand hookah and is crack. I mean

(01:15:59):
I've never crack. You're not You'renot wrong, You're not wrong. Poppy
seeds, my my my grandpa hadn'tliterally had an opium den. No,
but I mean my grandfather leimate opiumden. I'll just shut up. They
had opium. My grandpa literally hadan opium den. He was a hard

(01:16:20):
working man, but he had aroom filled with these like persian pillow things.
Grandpa, my grandpa, if itsaid, his house is just isn't
it just pillows? Just pillows?And he ended up getting a fucking diabetis
probably from the opium. Uh.And then he used to think that the

(01:16:41):
the guys want to me a favoritereal quick. No, not at all.
I'm trying to tell his heartfelt storyabout my my grandpa. Hear me
out that. Still you can stilldo the story, Like my, I
have to pee really bad. Youcan carry the well, you guys can
carry the podcast. I'm gone.Well, yeah, I can look up
videos on your laptop. Do youwant to take a break right now?

(01:17:06):
Let's take a break. Let's break. We just kept it going. You
are going to need to edit.Molly Water sponge bath is the one I
sponge bath put it in your mom'sas God, why did you not?
Your mom is John. I knowthose is so vulgar, but she would

(01:17:28):
feel good after the molly water spongebaths? What put it you? Really?
Oh? Yeah, and we're back. Okay, okay, we are
back. How how was your urination? Feel good? I don't want to
talk about this. Either you're inor you're out. I did it was

(01:17:53):
great. You look like you havean audie, not a car, but
like the belly button. Definitely any. He's not talking about he's not talking
about your penis. Daniel sponsored bySAMs. You missed that, and I'm
mad at you. He said.He says, definitely an any and I

(01:18:14):
said, he's not talking about yourpenis. Oh wow, wow, wow,
wow damn? How could I missmy penis? She got a little
bit. But that's so good.There's a part to part two. Oh
there's a lizo part two. Yeah, really it really is. Don't funk
with me, you know how much. I love that song. Please staying

(01:18:36):
flat food to put your hand onyou knee, he says, please.
He asked for complete consent. It'sa filthy song, but he's he's doing
the right thing and asking for He'sa gentleman in his filthiness. And I
appreciate that. Litzo two point ohtwo point oh. Hold it up.

(01:18:59):
She got a little bit about Idon't know what's different about it. It's
not doing Uh do you want meto look at Yeah, look at this
if you can put pat patch alittle bit of sting, but that's okay.

(01:19:19):
She gonna let her real nigga.You know, I appreciate old woman
with a whole lot of Maybe that'sa whole lot of ship. Then maybe
riding my face. I'm gonna runninga running wats and hold on real type.
Way you do it, Listen theway you ride to the music.
Oh sing to me baby, trueship, bless you, bless you.

(01:19:43):
Why did send me to Lizzie?Is this it Lizzie? Yeah? No,
the top, that's the top.A little bit of something. But
that's so good. Season is here. This segment of the show is brought
to you by the Season and uh, Moonwalker, Moonwalker, peanut butter whiskey.

(01:20:06):
I guess I could just heilly castlisteners, tell us this ship,
don't slap, and I'll call youliars. She got a little bit of
something, but that's okay. She'sgonna get a real nigga. You know
she had a woman with a wholelot of Okay, baby, that's a
whole lot of ain't maybe to ridemy face. I'm gonna run. I'm

(01:20:28):
gonna your waist over type. Whatyou do it like? Listen when you
ride to the music, listen sosmooth, No, you can't have no,
you won't give it. It's sofucking white, and you reach for

(01:20:51):
that pipe hees gon no breach foryour life. Hey, he gonna take
it. You better fucking pop thebracekt we is lit. And then the
Lizzo two point no, what imagineLizzo naked? How do you feel about
bananas? Dan run in my face? Bananas? Oh? Have you not?

(01:21:17):
Do you not keep up? Youdon't keep up with Lizzo? That's
okay, that's fair. She's appealingthe allegation, appealing the allegation. I
bought a you would love trying toget appeal. I bought a bill Cosby
Vinyl about a bill Cosby Vinyl fromthe Farmer's Market and I and it was
six dollars. I said, hey, can I get a dollar off for
the allegations? And she said yes? And I was like, is I

(01:21:41):
was like, is that what thosewomen's lives were worth? You play the
O g play the Lizzo remix withMoonwalker and Kevin Gates, and this is
one of these lyrics, and youneed to play this feed lady. And
if you're trying to get right withyour female, you're trying to come,
you're trying to come correct word playyour clear or rack Clear, Lizzo Remix,

(01:22:08):
Little Remit, Little Remit, LittleRemit, Little Remix, Kevin Gates,
Little lizz Moon Marster and Kevin Gates. I don't know who moon Gates
is. I don't know, butyou faking. I don't know what you
od with that road? Your time? How you playing? You just got

(01:22:31):
play, bitch, I don't knowwhat you're saying. Well, I feeling
them starts praying because I hear atone of different shaking your voice, and
I don't like it. I thinkyour pussy once you gotta wiping out inxiety
because I hit you with the blanket, mother little bit, that's soick.
She's gonna let her real nigga.You know, I appreciate a woman with

(01:22:54):
a whole lot of kick. That'sa whole lot of ship that ain't maybe
right, my ba? What youdo? You want to have to click
the heart of this down? SoI don't know how much of the song
was to play before it gets well. The cool thing is uh snapschot or
YouTube will flag it, but theywon't penalize you because it's appropriate. This

(01:23:15):
ship appropriate it, it's parody.Put it, put your hands on you
need parody line, Yes, ma'am, you was squeezing you get this little
motion when you push backs. Letme ask you, guys and your pancreas.
Dude, what's your opinion? Ohdon't say that this time? He

(01:23:40):
overtime? Alright, I head out? All right, ship dude? Play
that song? That's like? Fuck? Did fuck canteen that lie? And
fuck? I'm curious? What's like? Uh? Do you know that you
guys pleasant to Joe Rogan's episode withhim on or you? Who the fuck
is this really? You don't knowwho this is? I know Olliver treat

(01:24:02):
you first like countryman in a longtime, actually be from the country,
and really I respect that about him, but it's good. I just don't.
It's just non appealing. I don'tknow. Alex will Banks out a
YouTube channel. I'm not I'm notcriticizing you. I was just genuine I'm
genuinely curious what y'all's opinion. That'sAlex will Banks and Andrew like typically this

(01:24:25):
song. You know, I feellike he is the same dude. It's
like, your name is told mehere this hear this part. Your's can't

(01:24:49):
not just minors on an island,some miners on an island, Epstein Island.
Folks in the street ain't got nothingthat he and they old me milk
Ob the beast is what he's talkingabout. The best listeners. I'm not

(01:25:11):
trying to be funny. Did yousay the old beast or the obese OBEs?
If Alex will Banks ate Andrew Lake, I'm not, and then have
the racism of of know where he'sgoing with West Virginia's moms, Oh my
god, hey play that song.It's like fucking fox and Light. My

(01:25:34):
god. I think it's the fuckingyou're talking about. I told you how
much chaos you were inviting in,say just bud light FU C M T
and and it should come up?Is that? Are you serious? Yeah?
That's it. This is real.Yeah, yeah, it's real that

(01:25:57):
the fucking has to endure ads.So he's got a meeting in them now,
Jason Jason Owd try cracking a smalltown. Don't you see? We
were happy as can be? Thisis ai Yeah, crack a butt light

(01:26:17):
from the still us. What wereyou thinking with the can? We would
drinking fucking with the can when youwere drinking cheers, cheers. Oh my
god, these hip created liberals.Oh my god, this is so fucking

(01:26:44):
bad. It's not so bad American. I'm not going to cheer for you
that cheers boys no respect? Goddamn sorry, I can't. They hate?

(01:27:09):
Then you just got to Starbucks.I did. And guess who was
there? Why Disney? Oh mygod, Walt Disney's frozen head expressions.
Dylan mulvaney works at the star theStarbucks on that guys, I just want
to say, Brandon is officially regrettingcoming onto the podcast. Hey, Dylan

(01:27:29):
mulvaney, just like his dick,Molly and Vanny. Why are you like
this like, what should we wrapup soon? No, I haven't even
asked to say anything. I wastrying to guess is nothing. We've had
fun, That's what I was tryingto get you enough to split this into
a two parter. But this isstarting to be straining on my mental So

(01:27:50):
if it's gonna be a cheap parter, a room bus sitting in that chair.
I mean, we're like thirty minutesout from two hours twenty. Let's
see how long we can go.Yeah, we go, let's go.
Can we get this back on?Yeah? No, no, no,
we'll get back on track out becauseyou are no, okay, Yeah,

(01:28:15):
everybody's cool where they're at right now. I was just making sure with you.
I want grocers on the way homeand cooking nice dinner. I just
want to make sure that because Iif you guys go check out my TikTok
and everything, you'll see the conversationBrandon and I have about him being a
full time father. Now yeah,and actually is that going by the way.
I want to dive deep in,not deep into it, but let's

(01:28:35):
dive a little bit into that,like you're doing well with it. He's
doing a good job. I didn'task you terrorist everything you're looking looking from
the outside and he's doing to getto you. My dad finally got out
of the VA, so I'm helpingto take care of him. He's finally
he's out, so he's home.Yeah, so I'm taking care of because
last time you and I hung out, Yeah, he wasn't he was he

(01:29:00):
was in there for Where was that? Okay? See, yeah, okay,
I'm glad he's home. I'm gladyou're the full time now, full
time and taking care of that alittle bit. How is that with a
dad and comedy? Well, well, I'm more interested in the whole dad
and son concept. I get you'redoing comedy, Don't get me wrong.

(01:29:24):
I'm just I want to dive alittle into your personal life. If you
don't want to get into that,I understand. But like you are a
comic, you're balancing everything we knowabout your comedy. We'll dive into that
here in a little bit. Don'tget me wrong, we'll dive into the
roast with you know, Cavon.But I really want to know, now
that your dad is home, howare things how Because last we talked,

(01:29:47):
we were talking about how your sonwas helping you with like, oh,
Dad, you lost nine you know, uh and stuff on YouTube or whatnot.
No, no, it was morewith you YouTube. But like he's
like, what's up with this?Uh, well, school started back up
and he's got a dodge drunk teachersand whatnot. So yeah, I assume

(01:30:11):
that. So he's a little morepreoccupied with that, so he's not so
much clocking my account and watching howmany followers I'm losing anymore in school.
So far, it's too great.I mean he's back where he should smart,
sucking sucking up. What are youabout to ask me for, Daniel?
But no, yeah, he's he'sdoing great, man. And that's

(01:30:34):
my dad's a little buddy too.So I'm his dad's second favorite comedian.
Yeah, I'm John's first. I'mvery How don't think I'm really happy that
your dad is home because I knewthat was I knew, Like we we've

(01:30:57):
done podcasts where your dad hasn't beenhome and we've hung out and just sweaked
about it. Well, i mean, like your car is weird, just
your no no, no, well, the the setup with your Chrysler and
everything, like that's what I'm saying, set up for your father, That's
what I'm saying, and it wasa weird setup, and I learned about

(01:31:18):
your whole situation. I was like, oh, that's okay, and respect
Like, I'm kind of doing thesame thing with my mom. She needs
help around here and she like tothe state, I'm a caretaker for her.
So yeah, legally I am acaretaker. That's why you're growing weed

(01:31:42):
and weed. I mean I havea medical license, so I can legally
do it. He's got this cranething, because that's that's I mean,
I saw that over Yeah, Imean other than that, like he's he's
does he does he can he controlthat himself a lot or no? Okay,
I wasn't sure if he could.Once he's like in his chair and
everything, he's good to go,but yeah, he can't really transfer so

(01:32:08):
much anymore. So it's more youneeded to do that in the morning and
even and I'm you know, cukand clean and all that good stuff too.
Well. I was just curious becauseit's kind of like a remote,
right, so it's just got alittle headed hazard remote, but you got
to do a lot of stuff byhand, and like get him into the

(01:32:29):
thing first, the crane. Heneeds you young, mad are you so
from a male perspective, Yeah,how do you feel taking care of your
father? Because like we're males,and I mean I'm not. My dad's

(01:32:50):
in his sixties, and I meanhe has a wife and he doesn't I
don't think he'll need me to takecare of him, but like what what
is that like for? I mean, you know, help, that's just
really just all it comes down to. He needs my help now, and
he helped you when you were younger, and I mean, yeah, there's

(01:33:12):
there's times where me and my dadlike weren't cool or like he wasn't in
my life and stuff. But anytimethat he has been, he's you know,
gone above and beyond, and itdoesn't really matter. He's my dad
and he needs help now, andI'm in a position where I can help,
so I do. And that's reallyall it is. I'm just genuinely
curious because my dad and I wehave an interesting relationship. It's not the

(01:33:39):
best, it's not the worst.You know, it's somewhere in that gray
area. So I'm just like,I'm always wondering with fathers and sons kind
of relationships. I guess, likeI I do love my dad, and
I mean like I mean, Ihelp a lot of these fucking can me

(01:34:00):
Like, Yeah, how am Igoing to help them and not help my
own father when he needs help?You know what I mean? That's true.
He needs somebody that I care aboutneeds help and I can help,
so I do. Yeah, it'snot even like there's no male perspective or
it's just stepping up. You justif you can, if you could step
up for somebody and you care aboutthat person, then just step the fuck

(01:34:24):
up. Just do the do thework, do the thing. Side note,
how are you liking that? Mic? Sounds great? I'm glad that
you got. I've been told recentlyby some folks in Tulsa that I did
like a podcast comedy show hybrid withthat I have the perfect voice their words.

(01:34:45):
We've talked about this with a quickkakumba, what really flex? What
kind of check this outumba? Holdon? That was bad? Note it's
warm up, warm up, coukumba. Did you get a little a little
trickle accom just stripped out of yourpenis head a little bit right? And
it's not gay because it's just involuntaryeverybody. Everyone. Here's the thing when

(01:35:11):
he if you go to my dayif you go to my TikTok and see
him with a spear and he sayswill kinda forever and taps will condra for
now where I'm at. Thank youfor not saying everything that I said.
I'm pretty sure I said, well, cond of for everything that was.
That was the actual quote. Thatis, you're paraphrased. I'm not going

(01:35:36):
bro, I'm white. I'm fromEurope. Yeah, your favorite color,
you invented the word. His favoritecolor is mayonnaise. Nice. Helman's favorite
colors turquoise. Really, you're likea red, red haired white woman from
New Mexico. I thought your favoritecolor was turkey or not even from New

(01:35:59):
Mexico. Someone told me that likewhite people, white people always take cultures
obviously obviously, but like, Idon't know what is I think it's because
of my grandfather, my mom's dad, the need to colonize. Well,
no, he has Native he hadNative American blood and he taught Native Americans

(01:36:24):
up in Northern White. No,just education, that's it. Probably how
to be how to be white.Jennifer Johnson actually has a funny bit about
that. But yeah, but hewas a big collector in like turquoise stones
and everything, so that I thinkthat's why I became a really big fan

(01:36:44):
in Turquoise. He was a whitewoman attracted. So my kids started taking
pictures of all of his dinners thatI make him and like sending him to
his mom. He showed me thepictures. I was like, does she
think that I'm not feeding you?Or are you just like turning into a
white woman's Instagram. We're not goingI'm not going to talk about that on

(01:37:10):
the podcast. I'll edit this,I'll bleep this, and she is okay.
Cut, She's a ship show.She's always been a ship show.
All right, Bump. It's literallygonna be a long bleep when he says,
but was she doing? And thenthe look on my face and then

(01:37:34):
no, No, we're back tocompletely be on you. It's gonna be
awkward. Boom boom, what awkwardsituation? Oh ship man? I am,
I'm having fun. When do wehave an awkward situation? You're an
awkward situation? I bring up?No, I bring up really awkward situation.

(01:37:57):
I do like I've almost cornered Adrianinto gay sex. Yeah, how'd
you know? Because I told youI had a ad a hunch. Well
to break back well, I corneredyou behind your I'm not the one with
Vica. Well I didn't really,I didn't necessarily corner you. You kind
of just like we're working on mylaptop or my computer, and you just

(01:38:20):
kind of like pulled your pants downand bent over and your I'm a gentleman.
I held the door while I exposedmyself. What brought us here?
Daniel? Daniel brought us here?It's a beautiful stillwater Oklahoma. I'm so

(01:38:41):
glad you guys would have made thetrip more specifically you caveon, because I
mean Brandon lives. I've made acouple of trips this week twenty minutes away.
Yeah, what happened to your shop? Caveon? I just stopped doing
it? Where is what? Whatis the was this? Motherfucker? I
thought this was a puff piece.It is like, where's the location?

(01:39:03):
Because I have shown up to yourold location. They're still ship in your
old location, but there is neveropen. Anyone that want to buy it?
Holler? How much are you sellingit for? Just whatever? Twenty
bucks? Yeah, I'll sell someshit for twenty bucks on trying to do
you own it on it? Yeah? No, would you be interested in

(01:39:23):
investing in it after I saw allthe ship because hear me and Brandon.
What do you mean investing in it? I don't still on the spot.
I stopped. I didn't resign mylease, but I own the ship in
there. Why do you want tomake it into it like a micro venue.
I was gonna make it into apodcast studio. It's not the both
studios. You could cut it intomultiple studios. You could, you could,

(01:39:45):
we could repurpose it, but youhave a front office with you know,
people talking there or you know,secretaries, and then in the back
like you would have. I don'tknow, maybe not. I had to
close it because of Antifa. Iget it. You know what I'm saying.
It happens, dude. Look atSan Francisco, go to Union Square.

(01:40:08):
A lot of ship in New York, a lot of ship in Philadelphia.
Ship you're talking about actual like doo. Yeah, I witnessed my first
human ship in Dallas, Texas.That's where I witnessed my That's where I
witnessed my first human prostitute. Reallyit really did. What do you mean

(01:40:31):
witness We rolled up, We rolledup, We rolled up in a gas
station. I was like eight andI was with my dad and my uncle,
and then there was a prostitute,which I didn't know what that was.
I was like, oh my god. I was just like looking at
her, it's just like a bigold, big old, big old Caribbean
queen with just like wearing fish netsand a thong, and like, yeah,

(01:40:57):
I was like, and my dadwas like, that's a prostitute.
And I remember it the same wayI remember him teaching fucking I know,
we passed by a Transformer, butthere's a lot of Decepticons out there.
I had. I had a drivepast Pizza West shouts to Pizza West,

(01:41:19):
what do you know about Pizza West, about pizza Pizza Shuttle gone? There's
no more pizza Shuttle and you fuckingstill water? How come you're not sponsored
by the Curdy Shack. It's agood question, Shack. If you guys
want to sponsored this podcast, weneed to take We want to make a
shortcakes. Hold on. You wantto know why I'm not sponsored one word?

(01:41:41):
Because he says, insane ship.I have you on the podcast,
and that's why I can't get sponsored. Dude gets you a good deal?
What w w W dot ices dieorg? Yes, Hey, you ever
been a Burning Man in the MiddleEast. I heard they're struggling. They

(01:42:04):
were Burning Man turned into a muddingconvention that they finally the rich billionaires,
millionaires get out Firefest Part two,Catch Me and Kvon Location undisclosed, but
we are somewhere in the Bahamas.Somewhere in the Bahamas, somewhere is that

(01:42:30):
Cody. No, No, weshould tell Cody about it. We should
tell because see, if we cangive them the we're the principal talent for
Firefest to Firefest to simple headline headlinersheadlining firefastadline in the comedy we hit them
up. We agreed, we believed, we believed that this one was going

(01:42:55):
to actually happen, so we wentall in. We gave them a mother
again. Yeah, and they learnedin prison how to better the scam.
So we're like book it up,like google that ship right now. Fire
The first round of tickets has soldout completely. They don't have us on
the docket yet, and guys,if you're listening, you guys need to

(01:43:15):
get us on the docket so peopleknow because we're going to bring a lot
of people. We're going to beon the dock. Yeah, We're going
to be on an Island with SkylerSkyler on Instagram. Uh and Brandon Underscore
k I L l O Underscore Comedyon Instagram. Hit us up, get
us on the docket. Guys onthe dot, lake up with us so

(01:43:39):
that we can get you our headshots. We're on deck at the dock.
Yeah, first round of tickets hasalready sold out, even though they still
fire Fire Firefest f y r Ehy Ari. Yes, it's fire Homes.
Yeah, dude just got out andhe put it out there and people
are already He's doing his own littleBill Cosby tour. Dude, he learned

(01:44:03):
how how to do it better.He had time to think about it in
prison, and now he's coming backto do it right. He's going to
do it right this day. Nobodywants to go. It was an ambitious,
unprecedented project. And you know,shit happens with Guatemalans when you find
when you hire Guatemalans to work.That's what really. Yeah, that's the

(01:44:25):
first one, but I went toa restaurant in Oklahoma City. The second
one is happening. They've already announcedit. They've already sold out. The
first round through the thirtieth is thefirst one and then the second one is
May fifth. That Yeah, sothe post December sixth of next year,

(01:44:48):
and Brandon Brennan shops on there too. He got us in name like that.
I'm going to do it, dude, I'm going to do it.
We're on the docket. You deserveit unpublished, but we're on the doc.
And if we can get Cody Smithon there, we're gonna get him
on there too. You gotta takea boat. Might even see if we
can get Mattie Smith's to tag along. If I can get that Looney Bin

(01:45:09):
Show with her, we're gonna bethere with Skyler. He's a twelve year
old DJ. The just headlined Bonnarofucking destroyed at Bonner killed, murdered.
He's like a twelve year old,Yeah, twelve year old DJ DJ sky
dollar sign k y l the atsign, R skylar Q's up, Que's

(01:45:30):
up baby, Quincy's put shoe.Quincy's up is a is a s y
l at a dollar sign and thenr R. There you go, Skyler,
and then just DJ, where's doorsign? Oh no, no,
you got it. You already didthe dollar sign right? Or is that
nas R Skylar? No, Wellyou put a j instead of a k
okay, it's dollar sign k yl at R and he's a really good

(01:45:56):
DJ at headline and he's twelve.No, that's not that's not all dollars.
You almost had it. You somehowmade it words. Okay, Yeah,
let's just play suicide Boys and whyl the sign you're doing are right,

(01:46:24):
and then you're doing terrific but andthen just type type in type in
search. He also goes by thename No, you're John. He also
goes by the name of Kevin FetterLion. It does he really? Yeah,
he does. So it's one orthe other. Is one of those

(01:46:49):
you just it might be under dj K fed Now I'm done. I'm
not getting we were trolling you,Daniel, but I do have a hunch
that everybody that we are going tobe on fire. The other part is
but any any any mass DJ likefucking Dead Mouse or like Marshmallow and Ship

(01:47:11):
they're all twelve. I was twelve. I was doing that in Las Vegas
on that comedy Cellar weekend. Theygave me the artist past and it was
a d M festival too. Uhuh. It was Electric da e DC
Electric Daisy Carnival explosive diary. SoI was walking around the strip with like
my artist past, and people keptlooking at like, oh, what is
it? What is he? Oh? Yeah, I'm dead mouse or I'm

(01:47:35):
one half a daft mouse. YeahDJ trap mouse trying to convince these people
that I was a masked DJ andthey just didn't recognize me because I didn't
have my mask on. That's truth. But we did get into the vi
P cafeteria. We didn p snuckyall week long. Was a PEPSI,

(01:47:57):
just one PEPSI try to give meHEPSI see, oh gross test me.
I had to make sure please seethat's the disadvantage. I don't know if
I'll edit that or not, butthat's the disadvantage. That's Victoria's secret.
I don't want to give it outeverything Victoria. No, I'm talking about
the cameras. I gotta make sureeverything is still was everything still Yeah,

(01:48:19):
we're still going. As long asthat is still going, We're far past
two is still actually going. Ourfifty three minutes. We probably got like
probably five minutes of ship that's goingto get edited out, so we do
like another ten or Green will bethere Green see Lo Gray was on fuck

(01:48:43):
You fuck you fuck hurt too.Where's rich Steer be rich right to have
some ship, dude, counting ChrylCrows, counting Cheryl Crows. It's going
to be either yeah, well WholeSurfers, that band Blind Rome, Yeah

(01:49:04):
yeah yeah uh uh Jjler Mac MillerHologram show is gonna be there a right.
I have actually been to a privateSelo Green event in Seattle. Dude,
Okay, there's a fraudulent cell phone. Oh yeah, with DJ Miley

(01:49:27):
faces. You already see something bizarre. Play the music video to Go Go
Gadget Gospel. Wow, this isgonna blow your mind. This is like
one of the greatest music videos ofall time. I feel like you drive
a go kart, Daniel, GoGo Gadget first one. I feel like,
at first it looks like it's gonnabe your typical like rap video,
and then it just blows your mind. And it has one of the best

(01:49:49):
dance offs I've ever seen. ArsBarkley was Green and Danger Mouse. Okay,
do what we Didn't deserve? Waitpodcast re sponsored by people want a
little like look at me? Hey, huh, never show you how to

(01:50:10):
do it? You got your cards, you got your twerking. It's your
typical right. We'll see a gunsoon. It's like, ye a gun.
You stops pom boom, Yeah,this is my day. Maybe you

(01:50:34):
want to say booms what nassy?Look at me? Shapeless farms of honest,
enmous, honest, honest, don'tnever have normous here contrastic color.

(01:50:59):
Wisdom's wisdom is a woman. That'ssuch a good line. You should read
the dow of Wu. That's that'sone of the tenets from the God.
What is it? Read the fuckingdoo Wu. It goes into the He
looks like the officially last beer mathematics. That's one of the principles of mathematics.

(01:51:30):
I'm sipping on this on yam.Yeah, damn, you're the one
drinking the havana. I can't.Yeah, because wisdom of wisdom is a
woman is one of the principles ofmathematics. They look like a cross between
like Kermit the Frog and like themfucking uh goombas from the live action.
So this is the song I Itold Brandon at the end of our film.

(01:51:56):
This is the song I want todo by Selene. Spoiler alert no
into credits. Spoiler alert. Johnnydundae, Johnny, don't may, Johnny,
dunt I get shot at the endof our film, who does me?
Just like in real life, andwe're gonna do it rest style,
so so you'll there will be norepercussions and they'll just pick up filming later

(01:52:21):
after they find a new cinematographer.Oh, this is hard, dude,
Johnny, dude, this should havebeen like a hit verbal expressions of TV.
This is heady. Put your handstogether. I just see me and

(01:52:47):
Brandon driving off in the sunset downat him. But I your clone,
bronna, so is the word.I'm driving off in the sunset and like,
God, damn, I will whathave cloned them? Johnny found it

(01:53:16):
look like my cousin Ralph Jr.Johnny understands that the dinosaurs are a Jewish
myth. Yeah, I mean Ican, I can. Do you believe
in dinosaurs Daniels or do you understandthis is DNA? Understand what dinosaurs really
are? Fake? Yeah? Yeah? He had a t rex ejaculate on

(01:53:40):
his face and said, this isdinosaur d n A. He knows they're
vaginosaurs a k A. Genital words. What the fuck? Ladies and gentlemen
that has been another episode of theHeally Cast. Not the highness of associated
at all. No, that's notwhat we're doing. Shots, the Shortcake

(01:54:00):
shots, let's we are here witha dirty Curdy. W Are you done?
Please be done? What everything mygenital war? Yeah, just say
the word a few more times.Let's what rate baby aborted, rape baby
genital words. I don't know ifI can ever record you and me.

(01:54:27):
Just cut that whole minute out.What you don't like? You know?
I don't know? No, no, what's wrong? Everything that happens occasionally?
Listen, do you know what stateyou're in? A state of bliss?
North Texas? Man more like SouthOklahoma? One North Texas? This

(01:54:50):
which town? More South Oklahoma?Oh, I'm I'm gonna town is about
Norman? Got it any Norman fans? Shosta Pizza West, shouts of the
two three starbucks? You all gotout here? Shots the library I did
in d MT in front of shotsto John's mom, Daniel's mom's toilet,

(01:55:11):
shouts to shortcakes, and the Curdyshot Purdy Curdy. We're getting so close
to that rap time, and I'mexcited because I'm ready to I'm ready to
rap you read what do you guysgot to you. Uh, let's just
let's wrap it then U plugs.Yeah, let's do the plug plugs,
the wrap plugs, plug plug.Me and Brandy will be on roast Tomanium
is comic and okay see twenty second, twenty third for me, Yeah,

(01:55:36):
seven pm on the twenty second.Uh, what time on the twenty thirty?
Going? Are you on the earlyshow of the late show? Damn?
They're like level you got a doublecheck? I got? I just
got my head shot today, mae. Uh. And yes, we're both
going to be on Roussemania. He'llbe hosting I'll be featuring Roastomania on the
twenty four nine Charty nine thirty onthe twenty third, twenty fourth, seven

(01:56:00):
six pm doors at Bricktown Comic.Okase, he's the most Middle Eastern comic.
Uh. And then the twenty eighthtwenty Amos South End in twenty ninth
actually sorry, twenty ninth, Yeah, No, twenty eighth Black Apples Cider
House. We're insider Traders in Arkansas. And then twenty ninth at Amos South

(01:56:21):
End in Charlotte, North Carolina,CHARLOTTEI You're gonna get it lit in Charlotte
opening and featuring for the legendary thoughthe Baby gonna be there, wonderful the
baby community. Cody aka Cody Smith, He's he's popping on the Tiki Talk.
He's popping in general. He's sellingout, popping in general, ropping
in general. We've done We've donea couple of things. Then we've done

(01:56:43):
Arlington. Okay, see Baton Rueand uh October first opening for local legend
Andrew Rose with also local legend Chandlernefeaturing blessed to be on that show.
Yeah, he's taking the chewt chutetraining up here you check check check checkout
you He's getting bussed up and thenuh in December, the week before Christmas,

(01:57:09):
I will be at the Looney BenTulsa. He will be got some
ship popping off in October that Ican't really talk about yet. We've been
dragging, so sure I'll have you. Yeah. Absolutely, let's get out
here, guys. I love youguys, Thank you and letting me know
this to everybody. We are goingto wear shortcakes. Are we branding?

(01:57:33):
Yeah, we're going all right,We're taking Frank. I love you guys.
You'll see Lai. Enjoy the song. Keep your Dick Hard, I
love you. Hey out don't know? Yes? He lit? Mark Trotter,

(01:58:20):
how are you? Hey? I'mgood? How are you good?
Welcome to the Heally cast A.Telly Freeman. What's going on? How
do you do it good? Howare you good? Hello? Marty?
Oh? Hey, Bubby? What'sup man? How are you doing next?
How are you doing? What's yourreal name? What's your government name?

(01:58:41):
That is my first question. I'mjust gonna go right off the bat
and just JJ wood, what's up? Longtime listener, first time guest.
I'm excited to be here. Allhave headphones? Now? Are good?
Yeah? See gay guy Healey?What year were you born? Ninety seven?
Ninety six? See al right,technically you're a nineties baby, but
you missed up of it,