August 29, 2025 • 30 mins
In this episode, I sit down and chatted with my long-term friend about challenges and rewards of living in multiple countries from Japan now to Canada..She opens up about emotional ups and downs, including moments of loss, but ultimately shares how taking big risk and embracing change has shaped her perception of life and identity and growth.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Have you ever thought about packing up your life and
moving abroad from country to country, not just once, multiple times.
What would it take, what would you learn about yourself?
And is the risk really worth it? In this episode
and Beyond Flipping thirty, I sit down with a long
term friend, Nina, who has lived in three now going
on four different countries and have built a life across borders.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
We talk about.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Challenges that comes with uprooting your life and expected lessons
you learned and taking risk can completely change your perspective
on success, happiness, and even your own identity. So if
you are in your thirties, it's still never too late,
even if you're in your forties to live abroad. But
let's get to it. Welcome back to this is Beyond
(01:03):
Flipping thirty and I'm your host, Christy Shirkivan, And today
I'm sitting down with my friend Nina, who has such
an inspiration journey. She's lived in three different countries and
now she's about to move to a fourth. So, Nina,
thank you for joining me today. You had such a
global experience in your thirties and I just want to
(01:25):
introduce you to the world.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Oh, thank you so much for your sweet word. Hi,
I'm Nina and I've been friends with Christie for almost
like ten years more ten plus years. And like she
just said, I have been living, you know, in different countries, studied, walked,
and yeah, we're moving to Canada from Japan. It's a big,
(01:50):
big adventure.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So I met her back over ten years ago. She
just moved to Arkansas. I forgot to tell you about
this question. I would ask you, I'm like, for someone
that lived in China, Japan, well, and then San Francisco,
then back to Japan, then to Arkansas, what did you
think about Arkansas?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Well, to be honest, when I first arrived in Arkansas,
it's quite different, right, because there's such a small population
of Asian people. First of all, I don't see, you know,
people look like me. They don't speak the same language.
Well I speak, I spoke English that term, but it's
just very different. And then actually I was terrified a
(02:36):
little bit. But I was really lucky to meet friends
that accept me, accept me as who I was, So
it helped a lot, even though it was a little
bit you know, adjusting moment. But a few months after
(02:57):
we moved back then I really loved, you know, little
Rock and I still love it.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I know she's here visiting all her friends past coworker.
She's like, Oh, I feel so good to be back.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Well jumping into it, do you feel like you've achieved
everything you've ever wanted within your thirties? I mean, now
we're in our thirties, we're about to be eventually beyond.
How do you feel about this day of your age.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
That's a really good question. So everything I would say
differently not but I did surprise myself to achieve more
than I could imagine when I was younger, because I
was boying China and I never thought there's, you know,
another word outside China because there was just like, as
(03:53):
you know, there's censorship and then a lot of news
and not like technology or mention or not shared when
I was young. So I was already really lucky to
be able to go to Japan study abroad, and then
when I was in Japan, I was I was really
(04:14):
sad that I couldn't speak English, that I wish I could.
So that's why I choose to come to the States.
And then after all these experiences, you know, experiencing different culture,
different education, I diferently learned, you know, to appreciate different
cultures and their the ideas of being freedom, being free
(04:39):
to speak what you want, and being you know, imaginary
about what you want to be. So that's something I
really feel like achieved, more to just broaden my you know,
view of the world.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yeah, I've been to China. My Facebook didn't work.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, no, it's blocked.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
I forgot that there were a lot of free media
charge for them too, write for your parent press.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, there's nothing free about you know, free speech because
there's no Google, there's no YouTube, so like everything you
say there has they have thousand people like just behind
the screen to watch you what you say. So if
there's a keyword that they don't like, they're gonna block you.
And then sometimes you can get yourself or your family
(05:32):
in trouble. Yeah. So I'm not here to talk about
you know, China's you know, like censorship. But I'm just
saying like, after all this experience, I really feel like
I achieved the way that only you know, outside can
can make me do and I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, absolutely, So what is one thing you wish your
younger self knew about the stage of life?
Speaker 2 (05:59):
I was thinking, Yeah, because I was. I don't want
to brag, but I was a straight A student when
I was in China and Japan, and I thought my
life would be smooth as cruising in the fascy, you know,
like no ways, and that didn't happen. So life doesn't
(06:21):
follow a straight timeline at all. So like some of
you may know, well, like Christian knows that I felt
my first marriage, I wouldn't say felt, but like you know,
it didn't. It didn't go the way that I wanted.
And then, you know, sometimes I will fail interviews sometimes
you know, you want something so bad, promotional, something, it
(06:44):
just didn't happen. And then then the sad thing is,
you know, so we lost our second child because of
the genetic reason.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
And her and her current marriage, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
My current marriage. So so that all adds up to
the conclusion that your life is not that simple. It's
never going to be you know, easy until you five
for it. And sometimes it just doesn't seem fair. But
everything happened for a reason, I believe. So what like
(07:21):
bad things happen, it just makes you stronger, makes you
like appreciate the good things in your life.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Yeah, absolutely, and you are very strong you've had something
some challenges in your life, and I just watch you
from a distance and you just pick up and move forward,
and you're constantly moving forward. And for me looking at you,
I've always admired that about you and hope that I
have that and with myself. You do you do because
(07:50):
it's very admirable. I mean, you started over many times
and you keep pushing forward. And I think, what is
the hardest part of your life was losing your daughter?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
It was I just really yeah, I don't wish it
happened to anyone. No, It's just such a painful moment
because you just like imagine, you know, to hold her hand,
to talk to her, to comb you know, her hair,
like every parents, right, and then just all in a
(08:24):
sudden they tell you, oh, your child won't survive. Out
of blue, like everything was checked out, we did every check,
every test, and it went well. But then all sudden
you were told that. And it happened, you know, when
I was thirty five, so like mid thirty. So I
was thinking, if it happened earlier in my life, in
(08:45):
my twenties, I probably couldn't recover from that because I
wasn't like mentally strong like that. Yeah, so I think
that also aging Sometimes you think it's not good, but
actually it's good because you actually gain those experience and
gain the strength resilience, you know, to overcome some issues
(09:07):
in your life. And yeah, I really think I well
with my partner, we really took it very well and
with support, you know, like Christie was calling me home
to stay. We chat a lot through that moment. I
don't expect, you know, anyone who didn't experience child loss
(09:29):
to fully understand the feeling of losing a child. But
I just feel like just a simple you know, checking
up on us. It's just being so much. Yeah, I
really appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
It's mental support, it is.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yeah, well thanks for sharing that. I know that's that's hard,
you know.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Yeah, but let's move on to happy.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
But you're gonna the happy things because now you have
two beautiful children. You have a boy and you have
a daughter. So and your your family is now growing
up and you're moving to another country now, So now
moving from Japan going to Canada. What do you think
(10:23):
with with having this experience, what what's been the most
challenging adjusting to moving countries and now you're about.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
To do it again.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
So, yeah, tell me about your experience and how you've
been planning for this, and what advice you would give
for people that all of a sudden is going to
root their life and children because now the children is
going to be in a new school and everything. So
tell me your thought process there.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
So for the first part of your question is the
challenging part, right, So, like you said, I moved the
wrong countries to countries, but that's when I was like
mostly single, or even if I'm dating, I don't have kids.
So that really comes down to you to adapt yourself
(11:13):
to that environment in terms of language, culture and habit
and stuff. Actually, when you when I look back, it
wasn't that hard because it's only by yourself. So the
biggest challenging thing now for us to move to a
country with the whole family is it's not only it's
(11:36):
not only about yourself, it's about your children.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Right.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
They already have their network or like a group of
friends they hang out with. They you know, they love
the environment they are in, and then to pull them
out from that is a lot because you really have
to weigh the cons and pros and cons Is it
(12:03):
really good for my family as a whole. So that's
that's the biggest challenge now. But I'm I don't I'm
the person that I don't want to regret something I
didn't do. So I don't want to be like, oh
I wish we could have moved our children would you know?
(12:24):
But it will be very benefitual for our children and
all the stuff. So I really didn't want to do that.
So I was like, yeah, we're not let's try. And
the kids are flexible. They are way more flexible and strong,
way more strong than what we think they are, so yeah,
let's do it. So it's it's challenging, but also for us,
(12:48):
I feel like it's adventure, it's a good you know, uh,
investment for the future.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah, I think Yeah, sorry to interrupt you.
I think while they're young, it won't affect them as
much as it's going to affect you. Because everything as
a parent, we worry about, oh are they going to
meet new friends or are they going to feel like
they fit in? But they're so young that oh, they're
going to learn a new language, so they're going to
(13:15):
be bilingual maybe tri lingual. That's going to help them
out a lot.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yes, definitely. So if I have. The second part of
the question is what kind of othervice I will give
to people who you know, face the relocation or something
like we just said, just give a goal, like you
never know until you try it. It's like a lot
of things we it's I think life is like a gambo.
(13:41):
If you don't bid, you're never gonna get any return,
you know. Of course, I'm not saying like you should
risk everything. Of course you have to do the you
know procoms, and then depends on the phase of your life,
sometimes you have to have the collage to say no
if that's not a good decision. So so yeah, I
(14:04):
mean at the end you can least all the things
that you know advantage descent, but until you actually do it,
you will never know. So just give a try.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yeah, good advice.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
For me, I don't think I've ever had any wish
to live in another country. Some people like talked about,
oh I wish I would have moved out of the
country and have that experience, and some people do it
as exchange students young in their life just to get
that experience. I've never had that urge. But I love
(14:44):
to travel. I love to be in my own you know, border,
but experience other cultures and meet other people by just
traveling and making friends. But I've never been brave enough
to uproot. I guess I was scared.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I was.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Isn't that risk taker? I'm a risk but not fully Yeah, not.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
In terms of putting yourself. You know, in the situation
that you have to build a new life in a
new country. Yeah, I understand that part. Yeah, I mean
for me, it's not like, oh I want to go
I want to go outside. It's sometimes just life, go
with the flow. And then the first time I went
to Japan, my mom asked me, oh, do you want
(15:26):
to study abroad? They said yes. And then the second
time is when I feel my English is not good,
so I wanted to study broad to improve my English.
Then I said, can I go to the state to study.
That's how I end up to study in UC Davis
for a year. That's how I pick up my English.
And then that's brought me back to our kasta because
(15:47):
you know, without the language, well I don't have the
the full spectrum of a Southern accent, but like I
still can communicate. Well. Yeah, so that so like sometimes
external force that pushed you a little bit. But I
think inside me, I'm just not I'm not born. I
(16:11):
was not born to be said, Oh, you're not supposed
to say this. You're not you're supposed to do this.
So I just wanted to get out from that box
and you know, experience more in different countries.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah, and I love your accent. You when you first
came back, You're like, oh, I think my English is rusty.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I think I have a strong accent.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I'm like, actually, you sound the same to me as
you did before. But if you want to work on
that southern accent, I want to hear y'all, y'all, Hey, y'all,
y'all here. Well, my other question was do you think
(16:49):
moving countries have changed your timeline for things like your career,
relationships or even your you know, your personal milestones.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Oh yes, I would say yes, because you just cannot
adjust yourself right away, so it takes time for you
to actually adopt yourself in the new environment. So it
kind of delays you. I don't know a depend on person,
but for me, maybe half year for each country, I
(17:22):
would say half year. Yeah, So then you finally get
on track, and then because of the new environment, you
start to have new ideas of how you wanted to
go from there, and then yeah, and then you kind
of derailed to another direction and then yeah, it definitely
(17:45):
delays a lot of things. But when I say delay,
actually it allows you to actually think about what you
actually want. So sometimes I would say, yeah, it changed
your timeline, but in a good and bad way. You know,
more of a good way, because you think through so
much before you have time for yourself to actually sit
(18:09):
down and thinking, am I doing the right thing? Is
my skill set good enough? That's why when I was
in Japan, I was actually studying like civil engineering, and
when I came here when the civil engineering is not
a big thing here because it's just the skill is
very different, the skill the technology they're using is so different.
(18:33):
So I was thinking, do I really wanted to pursue
that or do I want to, you know, change my major?
And that was a good question, not to myself, and
then I changed it to business. So I went to
MBA in Arkansas. So and that actually opened a lot
of door for the future, more doors than yeah, definitely,
(18:53):
because civil engineer is just stuck with constructions or the
structure planning the stuff. But when you learn like business
religious stuff. You actually can do a lot of stuff
like accounting, finance, marketing, marketing is what I do now.
But yeah, you understand how business wrongs operates, how they
(19:18):
make benefit and how you know they make decisions business decisions. Yeah,
in a long run. So as what I'm saying, like
I of course, like I, for some people, I waste it,
you know, almost six years of study engineering, but it's
not a waste. It's the philosophy or like method I
(19:40):
learned how to learn new things, right. It accumulates those
knowledge and then you apply to the new ones. So yeah,
I think my timeline different differently, like kind of got
a little bit messed up. I was graduating when I
was save twenty seven. So it's a long journey.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
But yeah, it.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Benefits me more in the long run. So and then
I feel like I accelerate my timeline for achieving something better. Yeah,
and you.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Love your job, Yeah, I do so within marketing, what
do you do within marketing?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
So we do digital marketing. We send like email campaigns
and we get you know, new potential customer or existing
customer to cross selling our product online. So I'm working
for Raton, which is like kind of like Amazon in Japan,
so we help small business to round their uh business
(20:42):
on you know e commerce you know online so they
can sell their product to people in who cannot visit
their stores physically. So it's like online marketing online e commerce, yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
So.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
But e commerce of course you have to do every
campaign and then every like marketing activities online. So that's
what we do, like email and applications, push message and
we you know, try to h I don't want to
go to detail, but we we you know, we categorize
(21:26):
potential customer in terms of their buying habits, their age,
their family structure and what.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
The you know, market intel exactly, so we try to
get the best data.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yes, sare Yes, it's all based on.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Yeah, amazing. Well, looking ahead in life, what are you
most excited about.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
I wouldn't say I've done every thing in my life,
but I think I've I've done enough.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
You did, you accomplished a lot so far and you're
thirty something years.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, But for myself, I'm excited to move to Canada,
but Quebec region because they speak both English and French,
so I'm going to add I'm trying to add French
to my language skill set. It didn't happen for the
past years that I'm married to a French person, but
(22:29):
I would really like to communicate in French in the future.
That's my that's my first, like biggest goal, and it's
something I'm really excited to because you know, in your thirties,
you don't have many much like motivation to learn new things,
right because you have so much in your place. You
have kids, a career and all the households.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Everything is fast paced exactly.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
You're like, who it's already, I'm already.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Forty racing around the clock.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
I know. So that's really a good pressure on me
that we're living, We're going to live in the country
that speak the language that I always want to learn.
So that's exciting part. And another exciting part is for
my children, right because when your parents, you you have
dream for your children too. You start to grow them
and then I just can't wait to see how they
(23:21):
grow in different environment. Canada versus Japan is totally different.
It's a Western versus Eastern, but still they have that French,
you know, taste of it.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
So it's they say that the culture in Japan is
Finnamon and the culture probably in Canada is probably masculine.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Probably, Yeah, yeah, you gotta speak up. You gotta protect yourself,
you've gotta If you want to shine, you will have to,
you know, raise your hand and speak up. Right. In Japan,
it's like if you speak up too much, you're strange.
Like they don't like people who have too much opinion.
(24:04):
Everyone is very unified, so that's why it creates that
harmony in the societies. No one fights. Everyone followed the
role very polite. In some sense, it's good because we
have probably the lowest crimate because people don't fight. They
just don't because they have almost the same thinking opinions
(24:28):
for a lot of things. But in some sense, it's
like everyone is like robot, right, they don't have.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Unique I was thinking that too as you're talking. I'm like,
it's very robotic.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah, it's very robotic. When you see all the kids
in the kindergarten in Japan, they just behave so well,
You're like, are they drugged? I just kidd here, I
had a couple of beer.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
But yeah, when I look at how liberate like they
are in the States or in France, the kids can shower,
can yell well, of course not everywhere, but they are
they have their personality, the they shine, they make you feel,
oh this is this kid, this is that kid in Japan,
(25:19):
it's like, uh.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Everyone Isaka is a very famous like common family name.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Oh yeah, like like Smith exactly exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, exactly. So yeah. Exciting thing when
is learning French. Another thing is my kids to shine
hopefully or learn there's another spectrum you know, in in
the world. That that that I learned when I was young, right,
so yeah, very exciting moment.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Yeah, I think you have a lot of exciting things
on the plate. Uh learning a new language. Well this
is all on the record now, so seven years from
now you can come back and listen to this and like, did.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
I learn French?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Oh that nothing I said happened.
Speaker 5 (26:12):
I was too busy.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Oh yeah yeah, we need to delete this. I need
Well in seven years, I think can do anything. You
do it that podcast like main Black, you know, like
with the thing that you lose memory.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Rewrite it, please rewrite my own history exactly. Well, it's
been fun chit chatting. Is there anything you want to
add or anything you want to talk about just all
the blue or ask me if you want.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Yeah, how your kids can be so cute. I'm like,
I'm in love with your little kittle. Yeah, yeah, but yeah,
I mean it's just to add up to what we
said at the very beginning. We've been friends for years
(27:14):
and I'm so glad we're in the same stage of
life and well, again, we don't want to brag about things,
but we are in a really good place. Like she's
doing so well. She has a huge house that she
complains too small, which is like ten times more than
(27:35):
what we have in Japan's that's amazing. But I'm just
so glad we're in the same stage of life and
we can share more things about parenting, about you know,
partnership with our husband. Yeah, I think we all matured
(27:55):
in a really good way, but still can have fun.
So yeah, we.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
May be in our thirties, but we share act like
we're twenty. My brain's a but yeah, our life doesn't
end no matter how old we are. It just life
just gets better, yes, and more venturous. As you age,
you get further along in your career, you get like
you said, wiser, Uh, you learn more about your mistakes,
(28:23):
and you don't take your mistakes hard as hard as
you would and we were talking and joking about a
friend that makes small little mistakes, but if we were
in that situation, how hard we would take it when
that person just brushes off and say it's just another
day in life. Oh, because life can give you bruises,
(28:46):
but they hell M, yes, you he'll yeah, absolutely, yeah,
but yeah. So thank you for sharing your story and
your perspective with us and your journey, and maybe we'll
podcast again the next five years and you're gonna have
You're gonna forget about English and you're gonna sit here.
Speaker 5 (29:08):
Can I can I and speak French instead of English?
And I'm over here like I can't even speak English.
If you listen to my podcast, you're probably like, oh,
she used that word wrong and that wrong word wrong.
I'm like, I can't even speak my own language.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
So it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
But thanks everybody for tuning in and listening to us
and listening to her story and following us. Alyssa will
be back shortly with me. We take it like a
summer break to have some adventures, so we'll be back
soon to talk about things. But until then, I hope
you all stay happy and healthy. And thanks again, Nina,
(29:52):
thank you for having me.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
All right, Bye everybody, Bye.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Thank you for listening to today's episode. If you enjoyed
this conversation, make sure you follow this podcast, leave a review,
and share it with someone who's been dreaming about taking
a leap and starting fresh. You can listen to This
Is Beyond Flipping Thirty on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts. Until next time, Keep growing, keep evolving,
(30:27):
and keep flipping the script on what life after thirty
or within your thirties look like.
Have you ever thought about packing up your life and
moving abroad from country to country, not just once, multiple times.
What would it take, what would you learn about yourself?
And is the risk really worth it? In this episode
and Beyond Flipping thirty, I sit down with a long
term friend, Nina, who has lived in three now going
on four different countries and have built a life across borders.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
We talk about.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Challenges that comes with uprooting your life and expected lessons
you learned and taking risk can completely change your perspective
on success, happiness, and even your own identity. So if
you are in your thirties, it's still never too late,
even if you're in your forties to live abroad. But
let's get to it. Welcome back to this is Beyond
(01:03):
Flipping thirty and I'm your host, Christy Shirkivan, And today
I'm sitting down with my friend Nina, who has such
an inspiration journey. She's lived in three different countries and
now she's about to move to a fourth. So, Nina,
thank you for joining me today. You had such a
global experience in your thirties and I just want to
(01:25):
introduce you to the world.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Oh, thank you so much for your sweet word. Hi,
I'm Nina and I've been friends with Christie for almost
like ten years more ten plus years. And like she
just said, I have been living, you know, in different countries, studied, walked,
and yeah, we're moving to Canada from Japan. It's a big,
(01:50):
big adventure.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So I met her back over ten years ago. She
just moved to Arkansas. I forgot to tell you about
this question. I would ask you, I'm like, for someone
that lived in China, Japan, well, and then San Francisco,
then back to Japan, then to Arkansas, what did you
think about Arkansas?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Well, to be honest, when I first arrived in Arkansas,
it's quite different, right, because there's such a small population
of Asian people. First of all, I don't see, you know,
people look like me. They don't speak the same language.
Well I speak, I spoke English that term, but it's
just very different. And then actually I was terrified a
(02:36):
little bit. But I was really lucky to meet friends
that accept me, accept me as who I was, So
it helped a lot, even though it was a little
bit you know, adjusting moment. But a few months after
(02:57):
we moved back then I really loved, you know, little
Rock and I still love it.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I know she's here visiting all her friends past coworker.
She's like, Oh, I feel so good to be back.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Well jumping into it, do you feel like you've achieved
everything you've ever wanted within your thirties? I mean, now
we're in our thirties, we're about to be eventually beyond.
How do you feel about this day of your age.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
That's a really good question. So everything I would say
differently not but I did surprise myself to achieve more
than I could imagine when I was younger, because I
was boying China and I never thought there's, you know,
another word outside China because there was just like, as
(03:53):
you know, there's censorship and then a lot of news
and not like technology or mention or not shared when
I was young. So I was already really lucky to
be able to go to Japan study abroad, and then
when I was in Japan, I was I was really
(04:14):
sad that I couldn't speak English, that I wish I could.
So that's why I choose to come to the States.
And then after all these experiences, you know, experiencing different culture,
different education, I diferently learned, you know, to appreciate different
cultures and their the ideas of being freedom, being free
(04:39):
to speak what you want, and being you know, imaginary
about what you want to be. So that's something I
really feel like achieved, more to just broaden my you know,
view of the world.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yeah, I've been to China. My Facebook didn't work.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, no, it's blocked.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
I forgot that there were a lot of free media
charge for them too, write for your parent press.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, there's nothing free about you know, free speech because
there's no Google, there's no YouTube, so like everything you
say there has they have thousand people like just behind
the screen to watch you what you say. So if
there's a keyword that they don't like, they're gonna block you.
And then sometimes you can get yourself or your family
(05:32):
in trouble. Yeah. So I'm not here to talk about
you know, China's you know, like censorship. But I'm just
saying like, after all this experience, I really feel like
I achieved the way that only you know, outside can
can make me do and I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, absolutely, So what is one thing you wish your
younger self knew about the stage of life?
Speaker 2 (05:59):
I was thinking, Yeah, because I was. I don't want
to brag, but I was a straight A student when
I was in China and Japan, and I thought my
life would be smooth as cruising in the fascy, you know,
like no ways, and that didn't happen. So life doesn't
(06:21):
follow a straight timeline at all. So like some of
you may know, well, like Christian knows that I felt
my first marriage, I wouldn't say felt, but like you know,
it didn't. It didn't go the way that I wanted.
And then, you know, sometimes I will fail interviews sometimes
you know, you want something so bad, promotional, something, it
(06:44):
just didn't happen. And then then the sad thing is,
you know, so we lost our second child because of
the genetic reason.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
And her and her current marriage, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
My current marriage. So so that all adds up to
the conclusion that your life is not that simple. It's
never going to be you know, easy until you five
for it. And sometimes it just doesn't seem fair. But
everything happened for a reason, I believe. So what like
(07:21):
bad things happen, it just makes you stronger, makes you
like appreciate the good things in your life.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Yeah, absolutely, and you are very strong you've had something
some challenges in your life, and I just watch you
from a distance and you just pick up and move forward,
and you're constantly moving forward. And for me looking at you,
I've always admired that about you and hope that I
have that and with myself. You do you do because
(07:50):
it's very admirable. I mean, you started over many times
and you keep pushing forward. And I think, what is
the hardest part of your life was losing your daughter?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
It was I just really yeah, I don't wish it
happened to anyone. No, It's just such a painful moment
because you just like imagine, you know, to hold her hand,
to talk to her, to comb you know, her hair,
like every parents, right, and then just all in a
(08:24):
sudden they tell you, oh, your child won't survive. Out
of blue, like everything was checked out, we did every check,
every test, and it went well. But then all sudden
you were told that. And it happened, you know, when
I was thirty five, so like mid thirty. So I
was thinking, if it happened earlier in my life, in
(08:45):
my twenties, I probably couldn't recover from that because I
wasn't like mentally strong like that. Yeah, so I think
that also aging Sometimes you think it's not good, but
actually it's good because you actually gain those experience and
gain the strength resilience, you know, to overcome some issues
(09:07):
in your life. And yeah, I really think I well
with my partner, we really took it very well and
with support, you know, like Christie was calling me home
to stay. We chat a lot through that moment. I
don't expect, you know, anyone who didn't experience child loss
(09:29):
to fully understand the feeling of losing a child. But
I just feel like just a simple you know, checking
up on us. It's just being so much. Yeah, I
really appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
It's mental support, it is.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Yeah, well thanks for sharing that. I know that's that's hard,
you know.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Yeah, but let's move on to happy.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
But you're gonna the happy things because now you have
two beautiful children. You have a boy and you have
a daughter. So and your your family is now growing
up and you're moving to another country now, So now
moving from Japan going to Canada. What do you think
(10:23):
with with having this experience, what what's been the most
challenging adjusting to moving countries and now you're about.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
To do it again.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
So, yeah, tell me about your experience and how you've
been planning for this, and what advice you would give
for people that all of a sudden is going to
root their life and children because now the children is
going to be in a new school and everything. So
tell me your thought process there.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
So for the first part of your question is the
challenging part, right, So, like you said, I moved the
wrong countries to countries, but that's when I was like
mostly single, or even if I'm dating, I don't have kids.
So that really comes down to you to adapt yourself
(11:13):
to that environment in terms of language, culture and habit
and stuff. Actually, when you when I look back, it
wasn't that hard because it's only by yourself. So the
biggest challenging thing now for us to move to a
country with the whole family is it's not only it's
(11:36):
not only about yourself, it's about your children.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Right.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
They already have their network or like a group of
friends they hang out with. They you know, they love
the environment they are in, and then to pull them
out from that is a lot because you really have
to weigh the cons and pros and cons Is it
(12:03):
really good for my family as a whole. So that's
that's the biggest challenge now. But I'm I don't I'm
the person that I don't want to regret something I
didn't do. So I don't want to be like, oh
I wish we could have moved our children would you know?
(12:24):
But it will be very benefitual for our children and
all the stuff. So I really didn't want to do that.
So I was like, yeah, we're not let's try. And
the kids are flexible. They are way more flexible and strong,
way more strong than what we think they are, so yeah,
let's do it. So it's it's challenging, but also for us,
(12:48):
I feel like it's adventure, it's a good you know, uh,
investment for the future.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah, I think Yeah, sorry to interrupt you.
I think while they're young, it won't affect them as
much as it's going to affect you. Because everything as
a parent, we worry about, oh are they going to
meet new friends or are they going to feel like
they fit in? But they're so young that oh, they're
going to learn a new language, so they're going to
(13:15):
be bilingual maybe tri lingual. That's going to help them
out a lot.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yes, definitely. So if I have. The second part of
the question is what kind of othervice I will give
to people who you know, face the relocation or something
like we just said, just give a goal, like you
never know until you try it. It's like a lot
of things we it's I think life is like a gambo.
(13:41):
If you don't bid, you're never gonna get any return,
you know. Of course, I'm not saying like you should
risk everything. Of course you have to do the you
know procoms, and then depends on the phase of your life,
sometimes you have to have the collage to say no
if that's not a good decision. So so yeah, I
(14:04):
mean at the end you can least all the things
that you know advantage descent, but until you actually do it,
you will never know. So just give a try.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Yeah, good advice.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
For me, I don't think I've ever had any wish
to live in another country. Some people like talked about,
oh I wish I would have moved out of the
country and have that experience, and some people do it
as exchange students young in their life just to get
that experience. I've never had that urge. But I love
(14:44):
to travel. I love to be in my own you know, border,
but experience other cultures and meet other people by just
traveling and making friends. But I've never been brave enough
to uproot. I guess I was scared.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
I was.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Isn't that risk taker? I'm a risk but not fully Yeah, not.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
In terms of putting yourself. You know, in the situation
that you have to build a new life in a
new country. Yeah, I understand that part. Yeah, I mean
for me, it's not like, oh I want to go
I want to go outside. It's sometimes just life, go
with the flow. And then the first time I went
to Japan, my mom asked me, oh, do you want
(15:26):
to study abroad? They said yes. And then the second
time is when I feel my English is not good,
so I wanted to study broad to improve my English.
Then I said, can I go to the state to study.
That's how I end up to study in UC Davis
for a year. That's how I pick up my English.
And then that's brought me back to our kasta because
(15:47):
you know, without the language, well I don't have the
the full spectrum of a Southern accent, but like I
still can communicate. Well. Yeah, so that so like sometimes
external force that pushed you a little bit. But I
think inside me, I'm just not I'm not born. I
(16:11):
was not born to be said, Oh, you're not supposed
to say this. You're not you're supposed to do this.
So I just wanted to get out from that box
and you know, experience more in different countries.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah, and I love your accent. You when you first
came back, You're like, oh, I think my English is rusty.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I think I have a strong accent.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I'm like, actually, you sound the same to me as
you did before. But if you want to work on
that southern accent, I want to hear y'all, y'all, Hey, y'all,
y'all here. Well, my other question was do you think
(16:49):
moving countries have changed your timeline for things like your career,
relationships or even your you know, your personal milestones.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Oh yes, I would say yes, because you just cannot
adjust yourself right away, so it takes time for you
to actually adopt yourself in the new environment. So it
kind of delays you. I don't know a depend on person,
but for me, maybe half year for each country, I
(17:22):
would say half year. Yeah, So then you finally get
on track, and then because of the new environment, you
start to have new ideas of how you wanted to
go from there, and then yeah, and then you kind
of derailed to another direction and then yeah, it definitely
(17:45):
delays a lot of things. But when I say delay,
actually it allows you to actually think about what you
actually want. So sometimes I would say, yeah, it changed
your timeline, but in a good and bad way. You know,
more of a good way, because you think through so
much before you have time for yourself to actually sit
(18:09):
down and thinking, am I doing the right thing? Is
my skill set good enough? That's why when I was
in Japan, I was actually studying like civil engineering, and
when I came here when the civil engineering is not
a big thing here because it's just the skill is
very different, the skill the technology they're using is so different.
(18:33):
So I was thinking, do I really wanted to pursue
that or do I want to, you know, change my major?
And that was a good question, not to myself, and
then I changed it to business. So I went to
MBA in Arkansas. So and that actually opened a lot
of door for the future, more doors than yeah, definitely,
(18:53):
because civil engineer is just stuck with constructions or the
structure planning the stuff. But when you learn like business
religious stuff. You actually can do a lot of stuff
like accounting, finance, marketing, marketing is what I do now.
But yeah, you understand how business wrongs operates, how they
(19:18):
make benefit and how you know they make decisions business decisions. Yeah,
in a long run. So as what I'm saying, like
I of course, like I, for some people, I waste it,
you know, almost six years of study engineering, but it's
not a waste. It's the philosophy or like method I
(19:40):
learned how to learn new things, right. It accumulates those
knowledge and then you apply to the new ones. So yeah,
I think my timeline different differently, like kind of got
a little bit messed up. I was graduating when I
was save twenty seven. So it's a long journey.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
But yeah, it.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Benefits me more in the long run. So and then
I feel like I accelerate my timeline for achieving something better. Yeah,
and you.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Love your job, Yeah, I do so within marketing, what
do you do within marketing?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
So we do digital marketing. We send like email campaigns
and we get you know, new potential customer or existing
customer to cross selling our product online. So I'm working
for Raton, which is like kind of like Amazon in Japan,
so we help small business to round their uh business
(20:42):
on you know e commerce you know online so they
can sell their product to people in who cannot visit
their stores physically. So it's like online marketing online e commerce, yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
So.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
But e commerce of course you have to do every
campaign and then every like marketing activities online. So that's
what we do, like email and applications, push message and
we you know, try to h I don't want to
go to detail, but we we you know, we categorize
(21:26):
potential customer in terms of their buying habits, their age,
their family structure and what.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
The you know, market intel exactly, so we try to
get the best data.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yes, sare Yes, it's all based on.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Yeah, amazing. Well, looking ahead in life, what are you
most excited about.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
I wouldn't say I've done every thing in my life,
but I think I've I've done enough.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
You did, you accomplished a lot so far and you're
thirty something years.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, But for myself, I'm excited to move to Canada,
but Quebec region because they speak both English and French,
so I'm going to add I'm trying to add French
to my language skill set. It didn't happen for the
past years that I'm married to a French person, but
(22:29):
I would really like to communicate in French in the future.
That's my that's my first, like biggest goal, and it's
something I'm really excited to because you know, in your thirties,
you don't have many much like motivation to learn new things,
right because you have so much in your place. You
have kids, a career and all the households.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Everything is fast paced exactly.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
You're like, who it's already, I'm already.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Forty racing around the clock.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
I know. So that's really a good pressure on me
that we're living, We're going to live in the country
that speak the language that I always want to learn.
So that's exciting part. And another exciting part is for
my children, right because when your parents, you you have
dream for your children too. You start to grow them
and then I just can't wait to see how they
(23:21):
grow in different environment. Canada versus Japan is totally different.
It's a Western versus Eastern, but still they have that French,
you know, taste of it.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
So it's they say that the culture in Japan is
Finnamon and the culture probably in Canada is probably masculine.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Probably, Yeah, yeah, you gotta speak up. You gotta protect yourself,
you've gotta If you want to shine, you will have to,
you know, raise your hand and speak up. Right. In Japan,
it's like if you speak up too much, you're strange.
Like they don't like people who have too much opinion.
(24:04):
Everyone is very unified, so that's why it creates that
harmony in the societies. No one fights. Everyone followed the
role very polite. In some sense, it's good because we
have probably the lowest crimate because people don't fight. They
just don't because they have almost the same thinking opinions
(24:28):
for a lot of things. But in some sense, it's
like everyone is like robot, right, they don't have.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Unique I was thinking that too as you're talking. I'm like,
it's very robotic.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah, it's very robotic. When you see all the kids
in the kindergarten in Japan, they just behave so well,
You're like, are they drugged? I just kidd here, I
had a couple of beer.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
But yeah, when I look at how liberate like they
are in the States or in France, the kids can shower,
can yell well, of course not everywhere, but they are
they have their personality, the they shine, they make you feel,
oh this is this kid, this is that kid in Japan,
(25:19):
it's like, uh.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Everyone Isaka is a very famous like common family name.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Oh yeah, like like Smith exactly exactly.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, exactly. So yeah. Exciting thing when
is learning French. Another thing is my kids to shine
hopefully or learn there's another spectrum you know, in in
the world. That that that I learned when I was young, right,
so yeah, very exciting moment.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Yeah, I think you have a lot of exciting things
on the plate. Uh learning a new language. Well this
is all on the record now, so seven years from
now you can come back and listen to this and like, did.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
I learn French?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Oh that nothing I said happened.
Speaker 5 (26:12):
I was too busy.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Oh yeah yeah, we need to delete this. I need
Well in seven years, I think can do anything. You
do it that podcast like main Black, you know, like
with the thing that you lose memory.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Rewrite it, please rewrite my own history exactly. Well, it's
been fun chit chatting. Is there anything you want to
add or anything you want to talk about just all
the blue or ask me if you want.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Yeah, how your kids can be so cute. I'm like,
I'm in love with your little kittle. Yeah, yeah, but yeah,
I mean it's just to add up to what we
said at the very beginning. We've been friends for years
(27:14):
and I'm so glad we're in the same stage of
life and well, again, we don't want to brag about things,
but we are in a really good place. Like she's
doing so well. She has a huge house that she
complains too small, which is like ten times more than
(27:35):
what we have in Japan's that's amazing. But I'm just
so glad we're in the same stage of life and
we can share more things about parenting, about you know,
partnership with our husband. Yeah, I think we all matured
(27:55):
in a really good way, but still can have fun.
So yeah, we.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
May be in our thirties, but we share act like
we're twenty. My brain's a but yeah, our life doesn't
end no matter how old we are. It just life
just gets better, yes, and more venturous. As you age,
you get further along in your career, you get like
you said, wiser, Uh, you learn more about your mistakes,
(28:23):
and you don't take your mistakes hard as hard as
you would and we were talking and joking about a
friend that makes small little mistakes, but if we were
in that situation, how hard we would take it when
that person just brushes off and say it's just another
day in life. Oh, because life can give you bruises,
(28:46):
but they hell M, yes, you he'll yeah, absolutely, yeah,
but yeah. So thank you for sharing your story and
your perspective with us and your journey, and maybe we'll
podcast again the next five years and you're gonna have
You're gonna forget about English and you're gonna sit here.
Speaker 5 (29:08):
Can I can I and speak French instead of English?
And I'm over here like I can't even speak English.
If you listen to my podcast, you're probably like, oh,
she used that word wrong and that wrong word wrong.
I'm like, I can't even speak my own language.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
So it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
But thanks everybody for tuning in and listening to us
and listening to her story and following us. Alyssa will
be back shortly with me. We take it like a
summer break to have some adventures, so we'll be back
soon to talk about things. But until then, I hope
you all stay happy and healthy. And thanks again, Nina,
(29:52):
thank you for having me.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
All right, Bye everybody, Bye.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Thank you for listening to today's episode. If you enjoyed
this conversation, make sure you follow this podcast, leave a review,
and share it with someone who's been dreaming about taking
a leap and starting fresh. You can listen to This
Is Beyond Flipping Thirty on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts. Until next time, Keep growing, keep evolving,
(30:27):
and keep flipping the script on what life after thirty
or within your thirties look like.
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