September 26, 2025 • 32 mins
Sleepless nights, tired moms, and the big question to sleep train or not? Tune in to this episode where I interview my friend Rosanna on her experience of mom life. Hope this episode helps folks that are entering in new parenthood.. Please pass it on to any new parents like comment and follow us on Instagram .
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome back to This Is Beyond Flipping thirty. I'm your host, Christy,
and today we're diving into something a lot of new
parents' face, but nobody really prepares you for sleep training.
If your a new mom or a new dad, maybe
you've heard the term, maybe you're living through those sleepless
nights right now, or maybe you have no idea what
(00:30):
it really means. Wherever you're at in this stage, this
episode is for you, and I hope you enjoyed. Welcome
back to another episode of This Is Beyond Flipping thirty.
Today we're talking about something so many new parents go through,
(00:51):
the exhaustion that comes with having a new baby. My
friend Rosanna is here with me. She's a new mom,
her little one is about to turn one, and she's
right there in the middle of figuring out sleep. So
something we all been through or can currently relate to
on and I just want to know more about what's
been like working the reality of it, juggling real life
(01:15):
work on top of it. So welcome to the show, Rosanna,
Thanks for coming in today.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Hi Christy, thanks so much for welcoming me to your
show in Channel Yes, my name is Rosanna. I do
have a little boy. He is ten months and I'm
a happy mama planning his first birthday in two months.
I'm currently a working mom, so I do work from
home and I do have that balance between home and work,
(01:43):
and it's a struggle. It's a struggle every single day.
Some days I feel the summer rested and other days
I feel like I barely slept an hour. But I'm
currently going in this, you know, lost losts of exhaustion
because as my little boy does not sleep through the
night and my work does not stop, the home does
(02:04):
not stop, and he doesn't stop. So it's an additional challenge.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Recently, I understand that I've been there. I think we
started really late on sleep training, and I know we
went to dinner and I told you you were telling
me about how exhausted you are, and I can understand
and relate, and so I asked you, he, well, how's
(02:30):
sleep training going? And You're like, what sleep training?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
What's that? And what does that look like? Like? Well,
I mean, my son we did sleep training at nine months,
and so people usually do sleep training. They can start
as of early as four months to six months is
the range, depending on the baby development. Like signs when
your baby is ready, you know, having longer stretches through
(02:59):
the night, the ability to self south, gigin enough weight.
You kind of like get these little hints. And so
I felt like we weren't ready until nine months, which
is a little late to the game for us, but
it made a world of a difference because I was
exhausted getting up, you know, every day at three o'clock
(03:22):
for that three o'clock feeding. And you know, when we
have interrupted sleep, we can't really focus very well. We
can't be our best selves if we don't, you know,
try to get our sleep. So I can understand or
late when you were telling me, you know how exhausted
you are and everything and how you felt, and I
was like, yeah, I felt the same, And I still
remember it, even though it was four years ago. For me,
(03:44):
I remember it like yesterday, because those were a period
of time that was really hard for me, living in
brain fog all the time, making mistakes, you know, like
you know, felt like I'm a cast member of Walking
Dead through just a zombie walker, one of those walkers
on the street, just going through it. And so I
(04:08):
can understand and relate to you on that. So how
are you feeling these days, and have you thought a
lot about sleep training? Where are you at right now
in the middle of that.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I'm currently in the trenches. But I'll take it back.
You know, he's ten months this month, and that six
months he was still in our room. He was in
his massenet and at that time my husband said, nope,
he's going to his room. We prepared a room for him.
It's time to make this big change. And of course
that's when I had my anxiety. I was like, oh
(04:44):
my gosh, he's so far away from me. Even though
he's just down the hall. I still managed to, you know,
put the monitor, keep an eye on it through the
night as I wake up, but it was a huge challenge.
Initially he slept. At the sixth month mark, he was fine,
and then slowly he started waking up in the middle
of the night and I thought maybe it was just
a new environment, and I was told, maybe he needs
(05:07):
to eat a little bit more. So the six month
mark I started introducing, you know, the peanut butter, a
little bit of Greek yogurt but just like a tablespoon,
just a little bit to fill his belly, and some cereal,
the rice cereal that they have for kids. I usually
give that to him at night and it kind of
helped him sleep for maybe an extra hour, but he's
(05:28):
still waking up, and I kept thinking so guilty. I'm like,
my son is hungry. I'm like starving him at this point.
But what I feel like, I'm feeding him all day,
every two hours there's something going on, but he wouldn't
sleep through the night, and until this very day there's
at least one time he'll wake up. But what I've
done with last week was trying to see if I
(05:48):
gave him more food, whole foods than just milk, that
he would get better. He does sleep, and I can
keep him from eating in the middle of the night,
but he'll still wake up and I can't seem to
put him back into his crib. He'll climb all over me,
I want mom, and he ends up between my husband
and I in bed where the last two three hours
of the morning or the night, we're not sleeping. You know,
(06:11):
he's fidgeting in bed trying to find his comfort spot.
We obviously can't sleep anymore. So it's been you know,
you wake up at three four in the morning and
can't go to sleep, and I have to wake up
early for work, and it's been a huge challenge. You know,
a lot of people say, when your kid goes to sleep,
you need to go to sleep. But for me, if
(06:31):
he goes to sleep at a thirty I still have
dishes to clean, or a load of laundry to fold,
or maybe just to sit on the couch for twenty
minutes and think of absolutely nothing, or go on to
Amazon and you know, Carters and start ordering stuff for
my son. So my time feels like it doesn't end.
And then when I go to sleep, he's now up.
(06:52):
You know, if I go to sleep two three hours
after him, I feel like I've lost some sleep I
could have gotten. But it doesn't always work that way.
It's not a perfect, perfect timing with my son's sleep schedule.
But we have knocked it down from three naps a
day to two and he seems to get a nice
two good naps. But still I can't seem And like
(07:15):
you said earlier, when you said sleep training over dinner,
I was like, what the heck is sleep training? Like
I'm going to tell him how to go to sleep, Like,
how does this work? I had no idea, and I
did a quick Google search, and I was like, oh
my god, there's like this huge topic about this and
I've never heard of it. I'm a first time mom,
and yeah, so I love to learn your tips and tricks.
(07:35):
You said you started a little later, but your little
boice seems to be thriving really well. I'm sure you're
sleeping through the night well, and yeah, teach me your ways.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
So yeah, I was shocked when you're like, what sleep training,
I'm like, yeah, you should be already doing that right now.
But yeah, there's so many different sleep training techniques. There's
the cried out method, fever method, chair method, pick up
put down method, good time, fading method, No tears, gentle method.
(08:08):
We did the cry it out first, and uh so
we wanted to. We looked up what's the best one,
and the best one that most used is the cry
it out and that one is the hardest on parents,
especially mommies. Daddies are really good for this one, I
think because for us, like just a little bit of
cry for us is makes us, you know, we have
(08:29):
to jump jump on it every you know chance we can.
But I was talking to another friend that has a
baby the same ag as yours. And I asked her,
did you do slip training yet. She's like, oh, yeah,
I did sleep training two months ago and it's amazing.
And like, what method did you use, She's like, I
did the cry out method. I'm like, oh, the same
as us. Our cry out method was three days, and
(08:52):
I asked her how many days was her She said
three days. So first she did forty five minutes of
letting the baby cry before going into the room, and
the second night was twenty minutes, and then the third
night she said ten minutes, and then after that no
more waking up. So the baby. You basically have to
(09:13):
train the baby that crying to get the bottle or
get food in the middle night, it's not necessary. So
we have to train them, you know, not going to
them or tending to them so they know to sleep
through the night, because you know, they have habits, their
creature of habits, and we have to train them and
(09:36):
do whatever we can to get them sleeping through the
night and know that nighttime is to sleep and then
morning we can eat and play and try to you know,
have our schedule naps throughout the day. But we did
the same. However, my husband was the one that helped
me down, let him cry for forty five minutes to
(09:57):
an hour, and then he went and fed the baby
and put him down. And then the next night we
he didn't cry as long, and before we attend to him.
And then again yeah, the third night, like he probably
like made a little baby sound and then and then
fell back to sleep and it was over. That was
(10:20):
it for us. But I'm not gonna say that they
will have some sleep aggression as they grow. They have
growing spurts, and they will have some regression on sleep.
But at least, you know, if you start now, you
might feel a little bit of you know, a little
bit better. But there's so much information out there on
(10:40):
different ones, and every baby is different, so sleep training
is not one size fits all. You know, what works
for one baby may not work for another. But but
for most of people that I've taught, you know, spoken with,
you know, the cryout method seemed to work the best
for them and for me too, even though it was
not enjoyable at all.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I can I can imagine because if I hear him
cry on the monitor, immediately, absolutely immediately, the head rush happens.
I can barely keep one foot in front of the
other as I walk down the hall, just just feeling
like I just got pushed out of bed to go
get him, and my heart feels like, you know, he's
got this cry where I just feel so guilty if
(11:24):
I don't go right away. Where my husband seems a
little bit more tougher than I am, and he'll say,
you know, it's okay, he's crying for a minute or two.
So we're definitely got different, you know, perspectives on baby cries.
I feel like I have to be there and I
still do, and I know it's it's more hurt for
me and him. Actually, you know, he's not getting full
(11:47):
sleep in his own bed, and it's hard for me
to function through the day. Like I said, my day,
the day doesn't stop. I'm still gonna wake up, I
still have to go to work, I still have to
keep the home running. You know, my son needs to
to you know, be tended to over two to three hours.
And again he's home with me, so it's a lot
to juggle around on very little sleep.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah, and having no sleep makes you more emotional, make
you more sensitive. It's hard to control thoughts sometimes and
it can lead to depression when if you don't you know,
take care of yourself. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
As the first time mom, I now understand what it
means to be sleep deprived and how it truly affects me,
like as a mom and as a woman you know,
in your twenties. He thinks, oh, I didn't sleep well
last night. You know, that's nothing. When you have a tabe,
you know you are the first line of defense to
get up and do what you need to do. But
(12:49):
I do look forward to trying the sleep training and
trying to see if I can just relax and know
that he's going to go back to sleep. It's just
you know, mom, instinks your baby cries, you get up
and you know, soothe them and check on them. And
it's gonna definitely be a challenging moment for me. It
(13:09):
was already challenging to move him from the best senette
to his own room, so I can only imagine, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Think we moved, say it's five months, yeah, five months
into the crib.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
It was actually the trigger point. We were at my
in laws and they're out of state and they were
a wonderful host. They had a huge a playpen for
him to our pack and play to sleep in and
he said so well, and we came home Monday night.
I promised you. Tuesday morning, my husband was already taking
(13:46):
this best in it apart. He was more excited about
it than ever. He's like, well, if he did this
past weekend, no more. Bascinet was packed up and put
away in like an hour, and I was like, okay,
well this is the new reality.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah that's great. So did you I know you said
no one ever talked to you about sleep training, so
I guess you never really felt any pressure or thoughts
about it.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
No, I have not heard of sleep training, you know.
I before I had my son, I knew moms were
saying the word, oh, I'm training my son or daughter
to sleep. I never really understood even these methods. It's
a crazy amount of methods to think. You know, it's
not a one sized foots all, and you just got
to try and see which one works best for your kid.
(14:38):
But I've never heard of it. You know, I'm waking
up every night once to two times a night has
become a norm for me, and the exhaustion, I'm just
like accepting it at this point, whereas I know it's
just it's hard to function without a doubt. Everything I
feel like it affects me, you know, affects my relationship,
(15:00):
It affects you know, the time I spend at work,
like you know, trying to keep up with everything. It
affects me to think about, oh what am I going
to make for dinner tonight? It affects all aspects of life.
And I will say that now that we're having this conversation,
you know, I'm just thinking, Okay, well maybe it is
time to you know, make those changes and try to
(15:23):
get them to cry it out a little bit or
sue them. I think we had talked over dinner saying,
you know, you got a pat him for like fifteen
seconds and then kind of put them back down and
let him know that this is his bed. But again,
I know this is something I have to accept and
let go of. You know, these cries that I hear
(15:44):
and I have to let him self soothe, and I
know I have to let him do so. But again,
this is all a new experience for me one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Now, yeah, what is your bedtime routine right now? Do
you bathe him and then change him, read to him,
sing him, and then put him down like you have
a routine.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Right now, a lot of you yeah, that I do
to an extent. So we start off. He wakes up
around six in the morning if I'm lucky six sometime
sooner with having me bringing him into bed. But for
his night routine, he gets bathtime at seven point thirty
(16:32):
seven forty five, and I'll have either yogurt or some
cereal or some you know. I started introducing some you know,
period vegetables and a little bit of beef or chicken,
and that's he doesn't take too much of it, just
enough to taste at this point, it's not really eating
a lot of it. And then by eight eight fifteen
(16:54):
he's got some milk and either one of us, so
my husband and I will be with him in the room.
I will either sing to him and kind of hum
to him some of his favorite songs. It's insane how
I have two songs in my head every single night,
and there's the same two songs. If I turn it on,
he completely stops crying, like so quickly. It's like it
(17:17):
was a song that came when he was born, and
I just kind of hummed it and sang it until
his very day's sing only two songs that seem to
calm him down. But by dight fifteen, we're now in
his room. We're in the chair. My husband will either
read to him and play one of those Pikaboo books
a little bit, or the Feels where they've got like
different fabrics like the animals and the colors, or I'll
(17:40):
I'll sing to him, like I said, and then he'll
kind of go down around eight thirty eight forty five.
He'll wake up around two or three, and since introducing
a little bit a little more for the whole foods,
he's not waking up for food, but he wants to
come and be with my husband and I and that's
we're like from three to six on. It just kind
(18:02):
of becomes him fidgeting in bed, wanting to crawl into
your arms, my son. I think I lost more hair
from his hair pulling than postpartum shedding. That's how bad
it is. He like twines his fingers right into my
hair and then holds onto it with a grip and
he won't let go, and then that's what helps him
fall asleep. But that's the routine we have right now.
(18:26):
We try to keep it even though we're out. So
I find that my you know, my family's house or
his family's house, where we try to keep the same
schedule for off by half an hour. That's about it,
but we try to keep But I can say this
schedule kind of settled in the last two months. Prior
to that, I just let him sleep when he was sleeping.
(18:47):
I let him eat whenever he was hungry. I didn't
really follow the schedule. And then I realized as amongst
other moms, they're like, oh, no, you know, he has
a nap from twelve to three, and they're very adamant
about having their nep during that time. And I was
just like, oh, you know, if he sleeps, he sleeps.
If he doesn't, he'll sleep when he wants to.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yeah, you have him and control his own schedule, and said,
you're controlling the schedule.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
It switched a little bit the last two months. I
now have control over the two naps and control over
the nighttime routine. His two naps will have one around
ten thirty eleven and his second ones around two thirty
to about four, and then he'll stay up till eight.
And that's his two naps right now. But that's where
(19:36):
we've landed with.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
A routine Okay, it's a routine.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
It's not the best routine. I've seen other moms where
they can have their kids sleep for twelve hours. I'm like,
how how did you do this? It's it's crazy how
I see such a wide spectrum of certain kids. You know,
they six hours is plenty for them, and other kids
they sleep so well for twelve hours and they know
that mom and dad are coming at seven in the
(20:04):
morning and the day starts. Yeah, it's definitely a topic
that I don't want to say. It's not talked about,
but for a new mom, it's like the last thing
that comes to mind when all you want to do
is make sure your baby sleeps and at the same time,
you're rested enough to you know, be there for your kid.
(20:25):
But it's definitely a challenge for me.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah, yes, what about so I can tell you don't
have a lot of support system that is in the
current phase where you're at right.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
So support wise, I do have. You know, my mother
will help a couple of days a week while you know,
I'm working. My husband helps, but again he's got more
of a demanding job. We both work from home, so
I'm the first person to take care of Oliver, whereas
my husband will for me when I need to, and
(21:02):
then we kind of break up the day in terms
of schedule. I wake up as early as possible to
start my day. My husband starts a little bit later
to kind of get you know, we can support each other,
but it's not like the perfect support because you know,
like I said, there's variables of the day that we
don't have any control over. But we try to keep
(21:27):
them in a playpen for a short period, take them out,
let them call around, we'll put them back in, like
you know, during the times where we have to either
be on a call things like that, we try to
both be present. But at the same time, you know,
we're adults. We have two careers going at the same time,
and as much as it's really important to keep that going,
(21:50):
we also have a little one. So like it's a
really tough balance every day. Every day is a different balance.
Every day it's a different challenge, and you just never
know what I'm gonna wake up to. I really don't. Yeah,
really a surprise. Yeah, because if my if my boy
is perfect and he's happy to you know, go play awesome,
(22:12):
this has been a great day. And if there's a
day where you know he's either teething or he's tugging
on his ear or you know, didn't go to the
bathroom the way he normally does. Like, if there's just
one day where he feels constipated, it throws off everything
and you just don't know what it is because he
can't tell me yet. Yeah, so it's you got to
(22:33):
just constantly watch and look at the clues and try
to put the pieces together and you know, attend to it. Yeah,
but it's definitely hard.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
In his bedroom. Do you have like blackout curtains?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
I do. I do have blackout curtains, but I have
this small little light that goes into the wall. It
only turns on two enough where like you don't bump
your feet on anything, so the person walking into the
room won't kind of hit their toe on anything. It's
not high above, it's super low by like the baseboard,
(23:12):
just so that it's you know, not bothering him. The
room is definitely not pitch black. Okay, I was wondering,
why please tell me, Like, is that something you've noticed
with your your boy? Like, is not is having a
super dark room different than a little bit of light?
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Yes, our room has always been super dark, for saying
at night time, the curtains are blacked out and the
shades are closed, and he has a nice dark room
with a soft sound, like a background noise. It covers
(23:56):
whatever noise that's outside of his room. And he's been
sleeping with that and doing really good with it, and
we still use it. And then in the morning, now
he's four, so he gets out of bed and he
opens his curtains and brings all the light in. But
but yeah, he likes sunshine. When he gets up, he's like, well,
(24:17):
I'm up, the sun's in. I'm happy, little kid. Let's
get everybody get.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Up so it's freet Maybe I should take away that
little light. I mean, it's not like a harsh light.
The other piece I have in the room is a
air purifire, and it naturally has that like humming sound,
so it's his white noise. It is not like one
of those ones where you leave next to a baby,
like in their crib or anything. It's about six d
(24:43):
eight feet away, it's on the floor, doesn't have any
light to it. But I definitely keep that on and
I feel like that sound does help him. But I
am really happy to hear that you're saying that the
light situation, maybe I could take that out and it'll
help him stay asleep. I don't know if that's a factor.
I've never tried.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Maybe he should just go to where his crib is,
turn all the lights off and see if that's on,
and and go to his level where he lays down
to see if it's something that could be in his
eye or in his face.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Okay, yeah, well, definitely removing that one tonight. Let's see
if it work. I'll take any tips and tricks. I
don't know what I promise you. I think if he
does sleep through the night, it's still going to be
a mom thing to just, you know, peek at the
camera that's sitting on my nice always. I'm always going
to peek at it.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I always did that, but I would just turn the
sound off of it off when we were sleep training
and try not to run to the cries.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Three days, that's what you're saying. Three days.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Yes, maybe longer for you, maybe not, But for us
it was three days, and for Priscella was three days.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Okay. Did it help you to rule out anything like
like if he's not hungry or do you just train
him to know like nighttime is first sleep only, and
that's all they're going to get.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Yeah, that's what sleep training is about. You just make
sure their bellies is full, that do that last feed
before bed, and that's it until morning till six o'clock
or or seven whatever you were. However long of a
stretch you can get. But three, three o'clock in the morning,
(26:33):
two o'clock in the morning, four o'clock. I think these
are the times that you know he should be sleeping
and not worrying about food because he's going to get
it at six or six thirty.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Anyways, all I could say is that I can't wait
to be able to sleep through the night. I'm such
a different person when I have just six hours just
consecutive because sleeping two hours stopped, two hours stop. It's
just such a chopping night. It really is. It really is.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
And then just it's you're waking up before you ever
get to that brain stage, so you're really not getting
the full rest you need, not for your brain. And
I can tell you that I couldn't even drive when
I'm really tired or when I don't have any sleep
if I sleep only three hours for the total of
the night. The next day, I'm like, I can't even
get behind a little driving a car. I love you,
(27:28):
I make so much mistakes, Like I am one of
those people that have to have their sleep, and if not,
I will cause an accident, I will cause harm to somebody.
It's like, it's really bad. It's I just it's it's
the same to me as being drunk. And you know
you're not fully there. Your your motor skills is not
as strong as when it is when you're rested. So
(27:52):
I would I'm with you there. I don't trust myself
without having sleep, and you're going on almost a year
like that. It's really hard. So this, you know, this
stage of motherhood is rough. I mean you're basically a
professional night shifter without you know, the paycheck. Yes, And
(28:13):
there's no right or wrong timeline. I mean every parent
has to figure it out. You know what works for
your baby, what works for your own sanity, because I
mean a lot of everybody goes through it, and everyone
tells me, you know, you're what is it. Your nights
are long, but your years are short or something like that,
And they're right. I mean, now I'm looking back to it,
(28:34):
I'm like Oh, I wish I could enjoy those little
baby stages. But I've probably said this in my other podcast,
uh too. I mentioned that, you know, you're just too
tired to really enjoy it sometimes. And right now that
I'm getting good sleep and it's a different stage being
you know, a four year old and you're super cute
(28:56):
and you're talcitive and they're just loving to do super
cute things, I'm enjoying it so much more than that
newborn stage because I'm you know, more rested and more there.
You know, one thing that you know, I told myself,
I want to be more present for my child and
for you know, for people. Trying to be there for
(29:17):
them and be more present in the moment and enjoy
it and really taking care of yourself and having self
care and doing something for yourself is part of it.
So yeah, so I'm glad that you're able to share
your story.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Thank you. You've definitely nailed that experience. I can definitely
relate to it. I remember the first few months, I
was like, if I'm going to if it's going to
feel this, I'm going to feel tired this much. I
don't know if I can enjoy these little things Yeah,
you are very right. These are just small little faces
(29:55):
right now, and I'm hoping that I get through it
and as sleep through the night and everything, you know,
future milestones just kind of line up. Yeah, it's having
to not be able to enjoy the little things. It
is terrible. So sleep, sleep, sleep is really important.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Yeah, that it is.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
But no worries. You're going to sleep train him.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
You're you're going to get your sleep again and this
stage will be behind you.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Thanks Christy. I'll definitely give it a try. I think
the weekend will be the time to explore these new
methods definitely don't want to do in the work week.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, and then keep me posted on it, and also
you can comment and keep our audience posted on your
journey with that. There's I'm surely someone that's listening could
be a new mom and that stage two and that
can relate to it. So hopefully we're helping those new
moms out there. Most of people that I know has
(30:56):
already passed it, but there's still some people while there
in this new journey. So thanks for joining me and
going over your journey with us, and we appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
Thanks Christy. I appreciate your invitation and having me on
your channel, and it's always a pleasure chatting with you
about mom stuff.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah. Likewise, well, thanks guys for listening. That's it for
today's episode. I hope this gave you some perspective on
what sleep training really is and what you feel a
(31:40):
little less alone if you're in the middle of it
all right now, Remember every baby is different, every family
is different, and there's no one right way to do this.
If you enjoyed today's conversation, please share it with another
parent who could use some encouragement or maybe just a
reminder they're not alone and away at three am. Thanks
(32:00):
for tuning in. Until next time, hang in there, keep
laughing through the chaos, and get some rest. Bye.
Welcome back to This Is Beyond Flipping thirty. I'm your host, Christy,
and today we're diving into something a lot of new
parents' face, but nobody really prepares you for sleep training.
If your a new mom or a new dad, maybe
you've heard the term, maybe you're living through those sleepless
nights right now, or maybe you have no idea what
(00:30):
it really means. Wherever you're at in this stage, this
episode is for you, and I hope you enjoyed. Welcome
back to another episode of This Is Beyond Flipping thirty.
Today we're talking about something so many new parents go through,
(00:51):
the exhaustion that comes with having a new baby. My
friend Rosanna is here with me. She's a new mom,
her little one is about to turn one, and she's
right there in the middle of figuring out sleep. So
something we all been through or can currently relate to
on and I just want to know more about what's
been like working the reality of it, juggling real life
(01:15):
work on top of it. So welcome to the show, Rosanna,
Thanks for coming in today.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Hi Christy, thanks so much for welcoming me to your
show in Channel Yes, my name is Rosanna. I do
have a little boy. He is ten months and I'm
a happy mama planning his first birthday in two months.
I'm currently a working mom, so I do work from
home and I do have that balance between home and work,
(01:43):
and it's a struggle. It's a struggle every single day.
Some days I feel the summer rested and other days
I feel like I barely slept an hour. But I'm
currently going in this, you know, lost losts of exhaustion
because as my little boy does not sleep through the
night and my work does not stop, the home does
(02:04):
not stop, and he doesn't stop. So it's an additional challenge.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Recently, I understand that I've been there. I think we
started really late on sleep training, and I know we
went to dinner and I told you you were telling
me about how exhausted you are, and I can understand
and relate, and so I asked you, he, well, how's
(02:30):
sleep training going? And You're like, what sleep training?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
What's that? And what does that look like? Like? Well,
I mean, my son we did sleep training at nine months,
and so people usually do sleep training. They can start
as of early as four months to six months is
the range, depending on the baby development. Like signs when
your baby is ready, you know, having longer stretches through
(02:59):
the night, the ability to self south, gigin enough weight.
You kind of like get these little hints. And so
I felt like we weren't ready until nine months, which
is a little late to the game for us, but
it made a world of a difference because I was
exhausted getting up, you know, every day at three o'clock
(03:22):
for that three o'clock feeding. And you know, when we
have interrupted sleep, we can't really focus very well. We
can't be our best selves if we don't, you know,
try to get our sleep. So I can understand or
late when you were telling me, you know how exhausted
you are and everything and how you felt, and I
was like, yeah, I felt the same, And I still
remember it, even though it was four years ago. For me,
(03:44):
I remember it like yesterday, because those were a period
of time that was really hard for me, living in
brain fog all the time, making mistakes, you know, like
you know, felt like I'm a cast member of Walking
Dead through just a zombie walker, one of those walkers
on the street, just going through it. And so I
(04:08):
can understand and relate to you on that. So how
are you feeling these days, and have you thought a
lot about sleep training? Where are you at right now
in the middle of that.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I'm currently in the trenches. But I'll take it back.
You know, he's ten months this month, and that six
months he was still in our room. He was in
his massenet and at that time my husband said, nope,
he's going to his room. We prepared a room for him.
It's time to make this big change. And of course
that's when I had my anxiety. I was like, oh
(04:44):
my gosh, he's so far away from me. Even though
he's just down the hall. I still managed to, you know,
put the monitor, keep an eye on it through the
night as I wake up, but it was a huge challenge.
Initially he slept. At the sixth month mark, he was fine,
and then slowly he started waking up in the middle
of the night and I thought maybe it was just
a new environment, and I was told, maybe he needs
(05:07):
to eat a little bit more. So the six month
mark I started introducing, you know, the peanut butter, a
little bit of Greek yogurt but just like a tablespoon,
just a little bit to fill his belly, and some cereal,
the rice cereal that they have for kids. I usually
give that to him at night and it kind of
helped him sleep for maybe an extra hour, but he's
(05:28):
still waking up, and I kept thinking so guilty. I'm like,
my son is hungry. I'm like starving him at this point.
But what I feel like, I'm feeding him all day,
every two hours there's something going on, but he wouldn't
sleep through the night, and until this very day there's
at least one time he'll wake up. But what I've
done with last week was trying to see if I
(05:48):
gave him more food, whole foods than just milk, that
he would get better. He does sleep, and I can
keep him from eating in the middle of the night,
but he'll still wake up and I can't seem to
put him back into his crib. He'll climb all over me,
I want mom, and he ends up between my husband
and I in bed where the last two three hours
of the morning or the night, we're not sleeping. You know,
(06:11):
he's fidgeting in bed trying to find his comfort spot.
We obviously can't sleep anymore. So it's been you know,
you wake up at three four in the morning and
can't go to sleep, and I have to wake up
early for work, and it's been a huge challenge. You know,
a lot of people say, when your kid goes to sleep,
you need to go to sleep. But for me, if
(06:31):
he goes to sleep at a thirty I still have
dishes to clean, or a load of laundry to fold,
or maybe just to sit on the couch for twenty
minutes and think of absolutely nothing, or go on to
Amazon and you know, Carters and start ordering stuff for
my son. So my time feels like it doesn't end.
And then when I go to sleep, he's now up.
(06:52):
You know, if I go to sleep two three hours
after him, I feel like I've lost some sleep I
could have gotten. But it doesn't always work that way.
It's not a perfect, perfect timing with my son's sleep schedule.
But we have knocked it down from three naps a
day to two and he seems to get a nice
two good naps. But still I can't seem And like
(07:15):
you said earlier, when you said sleep training over dinner,
I was like, what the heck is sleep training? Like
I'm going to tell him how to go to sleep, Like,
how does this work? I had no idea, and I
did a quick Google search, and I was like, oh
my god, there's like this huge topic about this and
I've never heard of it. I'm a first time mom,
and yeah, so I love to learn your tips and tricks.
(07:35):
You said you started a little later, but your little
boice seems to be thriving really well. I'm sure you're
sleeping through the night well, and yeah, teach me your ways.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
So yeah, I was shocked when you're like, what sleep training,
I'm like, yeah, you should be already doing that right now.
But yeah, there's so many different sleep training techniques. There's
the cried out method, fever method, chair method, pick up
put down method, good time, fading method, No tears, gentle method.
(08:08):
We did the cry it out first, and uh so
we wanted to. We looked up what's the best one,
and the best one that most used is the cry
it out and that one is the hardest on parents,
especially mommies. Daddies are really good for this one, I
think because for us, like just a little bit of
cry for us is makes us, you know, we have
(08:29):
to jump jump on it every you know chance we can.
But I was talking to another friend that has a
baby the same ag as yours. And I asked her,
did you do slip training yet. She's like, oh, yeah,
I did sleep training two months ago and it's amazing.
And like, what method did you use, She's like, I
did the cry out method. I'm like, oh, the same
as us. Our cry out method was three days, and
(08:52):
I asked her how many days was her She said
three days. So first she did forty five minutes of
letting the baby cry before going into the room, and
the second night was twenty minutes, and then the third
night she said ten minutes, and then after that no
more waking up. So the baby. You basically have to
(09:13):
train the baby that crying to get the bottle or
get food in the middle night, it's not necessary. So
we have to train them, you know, not going to
them or tending to them so they know to sleep
through the night, because you know, they have habits, their
creature of habits, and we have to train them and
(09:36):
do whatever we can to get them sleeping through the
night and know that nighttime is to sleep and then
morning we can eat and play and try to you know,
have our schedule naps throughout the day. But we did
the same. However, my husband was the one that helped
me down, let him cry for forty five minutes to
(09:57):
an hour, and then he went and fed the baby
and put him down. And then the next night we
he didn't cry as long, and before we attend to him.
And then again yeah, the third night, like he probably
like made a little baby sound and then and then
fell back to sleep and it was over. That was
(10:20):
it for us. But I'm not gonna say that they
will have some sleep aggression as they grow. They have
growing spurts, and they will have some regression on sleep.
But at least, you know, if you start now, you
might feel a little bit of you know, a little
bit better. But there's so much information out there on
(10:40):
different ones, and every baby is different, so sleep training
is not one size fits all. You know, what works
for one baby may not work for another. But but
for most of people that I've taught, you know, spoken with,
you know, the cryout method seemed to work the best
for them and for me too, even though it was
not enjoyable at all.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I can I can imagine because if I hear him
cry on the monitor, immediately, absolutely immediately, the head rush happens.
I can barely keep one foot in front of the
other as I walk down the hall, just just feeling
like I just got pushed out of bed to go
get him, and my heart feels like, you know, he's
got this cry where I just feel so guilty if
(11:24):
I don't go right away. Where my husband seems a
little bit more tougher than I am, and he'll say,
you know, it's okay, he's crying for a minute or two.
So we're definitely got different, you know, perspectives on baby cries.
I feel like I have to be there and I
still do, and I know it's it's more hurt for
me and him. Actually, you know, he's not getting full
(11:47):
sleep in his own bed, and it's hard for me
to function through the day. Like I said, my day,
the day doesn't stop. I'm still gonna wake up, I
still have to go to work, I still have to
keep the home running. You know, my son needs to
to you know, be tended to over two to three hours.
And again he's home with me, so it's a lot
to juggle around on very little sleep.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yeah, and having no sleep makes you more emotional, make
you more sensitive. It's hard to control thoughts sometimes and
it can lead to depression when if you don't you know,
take care of yourself. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
As the first time mom, I now understand what it
means to be sleep deprived and how it truly affects me,
like as a mom and as a woman you know,
in your twenties. He thinks, oh, I didn't sleep well
last night. You know, that's nothing. When you have a tabe,
you know you are the first line of defense to
get up and do what you need to do. But
(12:49):
I do look forward to trying the sleep training and
trying to see if I can just relax and know
that he's going to go back to sleep. It's just
you know, mom, instinks your baby cries, you get up
and you know, soothe them and check on them. And
it's gonna definitely be a challenging moment for me. It
(13:09):
was already challenging to move him from the best senette
to his own room, so I can only imagine, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Think we moved, say it's five months, yeah, five months
into the crib.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
It was actually the trigger point. We were at my
in laws and they're out of state and they were
a wonderful host. They had a huge a playpen for
him to our pack and play to sleep in and
he said so well, and we came home Monday night.
I promised you. Tuesday morning, my husband was already taking
(13:46):
this best in it apart. He was more excited about
it than ever. He's like, well, if he did this
past weekend, no more. Bascinet was packed up and put
away in like an hour, and I was like, okay,
well this is the new reality.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah that's great. So did you I know you said
no one ever talked to you about sleep training, so
I guess you never really felt any pressure or thoughts
about it.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
No, I have not heard of sleep training, you know.
I before I had my son, I knew moms were
saying the word, oh, I'm training my son or daughter
to sleep. I never really understood even these methods. It's
a crazy amount of methods to think. You know, it's
not a one sized foots all, and you just got
to try and see which one works best for your kid.
(14:38):
But I've never heard of it. You know, I'm waking
up every night once to two times a night has
become a norm for me, and the exhaustion, I'm just
like accepting it at this point, whereas I know it's
just it's hard to function without a doubt. Everything I
feel like it affects me, you know, affects my relationship,
(15:00):
It affects you know, the time I spend at work,
like you know, trying to keep up with everything. It
affects me to think about, oh what am I going
to make for dinner tonight? It affects all aspects of life.
And I will say that now that we're having this conversation,
you know, I'm just thinking, Okay, well maybe it is
time to you know, make those changes and try to
(15:23):
get them to cry it out a little bit or
sue them. I think we had talked over dinner saying,
you know, you got a pat him for like fifteen
seconds and then kind of put them back down and
let him know that this is his bed. But again,
I know this is something I have to accept and
let go of. You know, these cries that I hear
(15:44):
and I have to let him self soothe, and I
know I have to let him do so. But again,
this is all a new experience for me one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Now, yeah, what is your bedtime routine right now? Do
you bathe him and then change him, read to him,
sing him, and then put him down like you have
a routine.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Right now, a lot of you yeah, that I do
to an extent. So we start off. He wakes up
around six in the morning if I'm lucky six sometime
sooner with having me bringing him into bed. But for
his night routine, he gets bathtime at seven point thirty
(16:32):
seven forty five, and I'll have either yogurt or some
cereal or some you know. I started introducing some you know,
period vegetables and a little bit of beef or chicken,
and that's he doesn't take too much of it, just
enough to taste at this point, it's not really eating
a lot of it. And then by eight eight fifteen
(16:54):
he's got some milk and either one of us, so
my husband and I will be with him in the room.
I will either sing to him and kind of hum
to him some of his favorite songs. It's insane how
I have two songs in my head every single night,
and there's the same two songs. If I turn it on,
he completely stops crying, like so quickly. It's like it
(17:17):
was a song that came when he was born, and
I just kind of hummed it and sang it until
his very day's sing only two songs that seem to
calm him down. But by dight fifteen, we're now in
his room. We're in the chair. My husband will either
read to him and play one of those Pikaboo books
a little bit, or the Feels where they've got like
different fabrics like the animals and the colors, or I'll
(17:40):
I'll sing to him, like I said, and then he'll
kind of go down around eight thirty eight forty five.
He'll wake up around two or three, and since introducing
a little bit a little more for the whole foods,
he's not waking up for food, but he wants to
come and be with my husband and I and that's
we're like from three to six on. It just kind
(18:02):
of becomes him fidgeting in bed, wanting to crawl into
your arms, my son. I think I lost more hair
from his hair pulling than postpartum shedding. That's how bad
it is. He like twines his fingers right into my
hair and then holds onto it with a grip and
he won't let go, and then that's what helps him
fall asleep. But that's the routine we have right now.
(18:26):
We try to keep it even though we're out. So
I find that my you know, my family's house or
his family's house, where we try to keep the same
schedule for off by half an hour. That's about it,
but we try to keep But I can say this
schedule kind of settled in the last two months. Prior
to that, I just let him sleep when he was sleeping.
(18:47):
I let him eat whenever he was hungry. I didn't
really follow the schedule. And then I realized as amongst
other moms, they're like, oh, no, you know, he has
a nap from twelve to three, and they're very adamant
about having their nep during that time. And I was
just like, oh, you know, if he sleeps, he sleeps.
If he doesn't, he'll sleep when he wants to.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yeah, you have him and control his own schedule, and said,
you're controlling the schedule.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
It switched a little bit the last two months. I
now have control over the two naps and control over
the nighttime routine. His two naps will have one around
ten thirty eleven and his second ones around two thirty
to about four, and then he'll stay up till eight.
And that's his two naps right now. But that's where
(19:36):
we've landed with.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
A routine Okay, it's a routine.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
It's not the best routine. I've seen other moms where
they can have their kids sleep for twelve hours. I'm like,
how how did you do this? It's it's crazy how
I see such a wide spectrum of certain kids. You know,
they six hours is plenty for them, and other kids
they sleep so well for twelve hours and they know
that mom and dad are coming at seven in the
(20:04):
morning and the day starts. Yeah, it's definitely a topic
that I don't want to say. It's not talked about,
but for a new mom, it's like the last thing
that comes to mind when all you want to do
is make sure your baby sleeps and at the same time,
you're rested enough to you know, be there for your kid.
(20:25):
But it's definitely a challenge for me.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah, yes, what about so I can tell you don't
have a lot of support system that is in the
current phase where you're at right.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
So support wise, I do have. You know, my mother
will help a couple of days a week while you know,
I'm working. My husband helps, but again he's got more
of a demanding job. We both work from home, so
I'm the first person to take care of Oliver, whereas
my husband will for me when I need to, and
(21:02):
then we kind of break up the day in terms
of schedule. I wake up as early as possible to
start my day. My husband starts a little bit later
to kind of get you know, we can support each other,
but it's not like the perfect support because you know,
like I said, there's variables of the day that we
don't have any control over. But we try to keep
(21:27):
them in a playpen for a short period, take them out,
let them call around, we'll put them back in, like
you know, during the times where we have to either
be on a call things like that, we try to
both be present. But at the same time, you know,
we're adults. We have two careers going at the same time,
and as much as it's really important to keep that going,
(21:50):
we also have a little one. So like it's a
really tough balance every day. Every day is a different balance.
Every day it's a different challenge, and you just never
know what I'm gonna wake up to. I really don't. Yeah,
really a surprise. Yeah, because if my if my boy
is perfect and he's happy to you know, go play awesome,
(22:12):
this has been a great day. And if there's a
day where you know he's either teething or he's tugging
on his ear or you know, didn't go to the
bathroom the way he normally does. Like, if there's just
one day where he feels constipated, it throws off everything
and you just don't know what it is because he
can't tell me yet. Yeah, so it's you got to
(22:33):
just constantly watch and look at the clues and try
to put the pieces together and you know, attend to it. Yeah,
but it's definitely hard.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
In his bedroom. Do you have like blackout curtains?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
I do. I do have blackout curtains, but I have
this small little light that goes into the wall. It
only turns on two enough where like you don't bump
your feet on anything, so the person walking into the
room won't kind of hit their toe on anything. It's
not high above, it's super low by like the baseboard,
(23:12):
just so that it's you know, not bothering him. The
room is definitely not pitch black. Okay, I was wondering,
why please tell me, Like, is that something you've noticed
with your your boy? Like, is not is having a
super dark room different than a little bit of light?
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Yes, our room has always been super dark, for saying
at night time, the curtains are blacked out and the
shades are closed, and he has a nice dark room
with a soft sound, like a background noise. It covers
(23:56):
whatever noise that's outside of his room. And he's been
sleeping with that and doing really good with it, and
we still use it. And then in the morning, now
he's four, so he gets out of bed and he
opens his curtains and brings all the light in. But
but yeah, he likes sunshine. When he gets up, he's like, well,
(24:17):
I'm up, the sun's in. I'm happy, little kid. Let's
get everybody get.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Up so it's freet Maybe I should take away that
little light. I mean, it's not like a harsh light.
The other piece I have in the room is a
air purifire, and it naturally has that like humming sound,
so it's his white noise. It is not like one
of those ones where you leave next to a baby,
like in their crib or anything. It's about six d
(24:43):
eight feet away, it's on the floor, doesn't have any
light to it. But I definitely keep that on and
I feel like that sound does help him. But I
am really happy to hear that you're saying that the
light situation, maybe I could take that out and it'll
help him stay asleep. I don't know if that's a factor.
I've never tried.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Maybe he should just go to where his crib is,
turn all the lights off and see if that's on,
and and go to his level where he lays down
to see if it's something that could be in his
eye or in his face.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Okay, yeah, well, definitely removing that one tonight. Let's see
if it work. I'll take any tips and tricks. I
don't know what I promise you. I think if he
does sleep through the night, it's still going to be
a mom thing to just, you know, peek at the
camera that's sitting on my nice always. I'm always going
to peek at it.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I always did that, but I would just turn the
sound off of it off when we were sleep training
and try not to run to the cries.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Three days, that's what you're saying. Three days.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Yes, maybe longer for you, maybe not, But for us
it was three days, and for Priscella was three days.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Okay. Did it help you to rule out anything like
like if he's not hungry or do you just train
him to know like nighttime is first sleep only, and
that's all they're going to get.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Yeah, that's what sleep training is about. You just make
sure their bellies is full, that do that last feed
before bed, and that's it until morning till six o'clock
or or seven whatever you were. However long of a
stretch you can get. But three, three o'clock in the morning,
(26:33):
two o'clock in the morning, four o'clock. I think these
are the times that you know he should be sleeping
and not worrying about food because he's going to get
it at six or six thirty.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Anyways, all I could say is that I can't wait
to be able to sleep through the night. I'm such
a different person when I have just six hours just
consecutive because sleeping two hours stopped, two hours stop. It's
just such a chopping night. It really is. It really is.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
And then just it's you're waking up before you ever
get to that brain stage, so you're really not getting
the full rest you need, not for your brain. And
I can tell you that I couldn't even drive when
I'm really tired or when I don't have any sleep
if I sleep only three hours for the total of
the night. The next day, I'm like, I can't even
get behind a little driving a car. I love you,
(27:28):
I make so much mistakes, Like I am one of
those people that have to have their sleep, and if not,
I will cause an accident, I will cause harm to somebody.
It's like, it's really bad. It's I just it's it's
the same to me as being drunk. And you know
you're not fully there. Your your motor skills is not
as strong as when it is when you're rested. So
(27:52):
I would I'm with you there. I don't trust myself
without having sleep, and you're going on almost a year
like that. It's really hard. So this, you know, this
stage of motherhood is rough. I mean you're basically a
professional night shifter without you know, the paycheck. Yes, And
(28:13):
there's no right or wrong timeline. I mean every parent
has to figure it out. You know what works for
your baby, what works for your own sanity, because I
mean a lot of everybody goes through it, and everyone
tells me, you know, you're what is it. Your nights
are long, but your years are short or something like that,
And they're right. I mean, now I'm looking back to it,
(28:34):
I'm like Oh, I wish I could enjoy those little
baby stages. But I've probably said this in my other podcast,
uh too. I mentioned that, you know, you're just too
tired to really enjoy it sometimes. And right now that
I'm getting good sleep and it's a different stage being
you know, a four year old and you're super cute
(28:56):
and you're talcitive and they're just loving to do super
cute things, I'm enjoying it so much more than that
newborn stage because I'm you know, more rested and more there.
You know, one thing that you know, I told myself,
I want to be more present for my child and
for you know, for people. Trying to be there for
(29:17):
them and be more present in the moment and enjoy
it and really taking care of yourself and having self
care and doing something for yourself is part of it.
So yeah, so I'm glad that you're able to share
your story.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Thank you. You've definitely nailed that experience. I can definitely
relate to it. I remember the first few months, I
was like, if I'm going to if it's going to
feel this, I'm going to feel tired this much. I
don't know if I can enjoy these little things Yeah,
you are very right. These are just small little faces
(29:55):
right now, and I'm hoping that I get through it
and as sleep through the night and everything, you know,
future milestones just kind of line up. Yeah, it's having
to not be able to enjoy the little things. It
is terrible. So sleep, sleep, sleep is really important.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Yeah, that it is.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
But no worries. You're going to sleep train him.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
You're you're going to get your sleep again and this
stage will be behind you.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Thanks Christy. I'll definitely give it a try. I think
the weekend will be the time to explore these new
methods definitely don't want to do in the work week.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, and then keep me posted on it, and also
you can comment and keep our audience posted on your
journey with that. There's I'm surely someone that's listening could
be a new mom and that stage two and that
can relate to it. So hopefully we're helping those new
moms out there. Most of people that I know has
(30:56):
already passed it, but there's still some people while there
in this new journey. So thanks for joining me and
going over your journey with us, and we appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
Thanks Christy. I appreciate your invitation and having me on
your channel, and it's always a pleasure chatting with you
about mom stuff.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah. Likewise, well, thanks guys for listening. That's it for
today's episode. I hope this gave you some perspective on
what sleep training really is and what you feel a
(31:40):
little less alone if you're in the middle of it
all right now, Remember every baby is different, every family
is different, and there's no one right way to do this.
If you enjoyed today's conversation, please share it with another
parent who could use some encouragement or maybe just a
reminder they're not alone and away at three am. Thanks
(32:00):
for tuning in. Until next time, hang in there, keep
laughing through the chaos, and get some rest. Bye.
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