September 4, 2025 • 48 mins
Aaron and Darlene watch some classic sci-fi from the 1950s and '60s, good and bad. They talk about what makes these films memorable and fun, and if you should take a trip back in time and enjoy these films as well.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
But aren't you fellows ever positive only about doomsday?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
What could be worse than disappointing a little girl disappointing
a big girl.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I have other ways of securing your cooperation.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Sorry, miss I was giving myself an oil job. When
was it just azumbly as we've seen attitude to it
since we gave to a few low cabbages an intellectual carrot.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
That mind boggles you see you see your stupid lives.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Stupid, stupid, I said Santa Claus. Long enough, we will
bring him to Mars. I've been afraid a lot of
times in my life, but I didn't know the real
meaning of fear until until I kiss peck me. One
thing will be clear. It's not from man to interfere
in the ways of God's life.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Earth Versus Soup, Episode
two seventy two. I'm Marrion Pollier, I'm Darling. We watched
a terrible movie today. You knew it was terrible, Well
I didn't. I knew it was terrible because of some
reviews that I had read beforehand. I didn't truly understand
how bad it was in certain regards, But there were
(01:27):
other things in the movie that I didn't feel were
anywhere near as bad as what was described. The movie
is Astro Zombies from nineteen sixty eight May nineteen.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
The budget was thirty seven thousand, and you said.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Like three thousand of us went to pay for the
one A list actor that got into this, and it
was John Kronine. Let's be fair. I don't know how
long this review is going to be, because this movie
is an hour and a half long, and it's about
an hour and twenty minutes of filler. But no, I okay,
(02:06):
it's about an hour and twenty minutes of footage that
either either is either filler or inconsequential inconsequential to the plot.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
But then you have in the beginning, it's like wham bam, yes,
so thank you ma'am.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Yeah, the beginning of the film, there's actually a lot
that happens.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I couldn't even keep up with it.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I will also say that there are aspects of this
film that I think actually work. We're gonna be I
will be frank right out of the gate. We both
did not like this movie, but we're gonna be fair
about it. So I already said that John Carrodine's in it.
John Carodine is technically like top built. Well he's not
(02:55):
top built, but he's the only person that you really know. Okay.
Everybody else is either bit part actors that have appeared
only in a couple movies or television shows. There's one
person that kind of stands out besides that, besides John Carrodine,
and that's Tura Satana, who plays a villainous in this.
I would argue she might be better. No, I won't argue.
(03:20):
I will say that she is better than John Carrodine
in this. She might be the best actress. Even though
she is crap in it. She still had a shit
roll with no direction and had fun with it. This
movie is technically a science fiction movie, but the science
(03:40):
fiction elements of it are so bad that we needed
to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
This movie is trying to be a spy thriller.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
The spy thriller some of the spice thriller stuff works.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
It's trying to be a science fiction.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Which it does not work.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
A murder.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Crime crime thing it's so Orda does sure.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I don't know if it's supposed to be drama too.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I don't know about that. But like I said, the
spy stuff. Some of the spy stuff I can see
where it actually.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
You can feel, you can figure it out as it
goes a lot better than the rest of the stuff.
The stuff is you like the mask of.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
The the astro Zombie.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Astro Zombie, And one of the questions I want to
ask is did they even say who wrote who played
the astro Zombie?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Oh, well, that's this kind of movie.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Would make me think that they would have it.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
As yeah, it's just Rod Willmuth who Okay, he was
in the astro Zombie. The astro Zombie helmet is pretty
freaking cool.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
But many times when they show the back of it,
you see that it's.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
A oh sure, sure it's it's there's a scene in it, right,
there's a scene you cut up just I don't know,
done something like a hood or something like that.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
No, I'm saying you could have clipped it together instead
of just let it hang out like.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Oh, yeah, okay, it's a.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
It looks it has a slit in it, like it's
a Lucas mask.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Yes. So with this review, I am going to talk
about the plot, but I think the things that we
really need to do is point out the things that
we like and understand that everything that we're not pointing
out that we like is really bad. We'll point out
some of the stuff that's really bad, and then I
think we need to talk about how we would change
(05:38):
this movie. This is another one of those movies where
it would be like, this really needs something done.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Well. Number one of it is well, figure out what
it's supposed to be.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yes, So we'll get into that afterwards. Okay, but let's
let's do this plot. And I almost can do this
plot in like fifteen minutes, I think even less. So
we start with a woman driving a convertible with groovy
music playing, and this is the part of the movie
that I actually really liked. She's driving up she Mustang. Yeah,
(06:14):
she's driving a white Mustang with the top down through
Los Angeles. There's some really cool classic cars on display.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
But it shows some of the radio mostly.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Yes, and it's playing music that is retro exotica. Today
we would classify it as retro exotica. She pulls into
the garage and we learn that it's nighttime. And this
is one of the largest laws of the movie is
that much of the movie takes place at night. Air
quotes around night because They are some of the worst
(06:46):
day for night shots I've ever seen, to the extent
that the only reason you know it's night is because
there's cricket noises being made literally, Otherwise it looks like
it's daytime and they're just filming in daytime with an
improper outer.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Setting and blue lighting or like.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
A blue built blue filter. It is confusing how bad
it is. So anyway, she pulls into the garage and
there's an astro zombie that is inside wearing this really
cold mask. If you look online, you can see the
movie poster of this astrozombie mask. It might be the
best thing about this movie. He attacks her with a
(07:25):
with a gardening tool and blood sprays against the side
of the white Mustang that she was driving. The credits
play and we actually again both of us were like,
what's this?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
But what is the point of the toys? Because there's
the robots.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Okay, well, describe what the toys are.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
They're ten mechanized wind up toys.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Along with with a wind up tank. There's a wind up.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
There's a wind up tank. Most of them are robots.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Yes, yes, and this is during the price Yeah, what's
the point you ask? Okay, it's because the astro zombies
are cyborgs and those are robots. That's it now to us.
We both smiled watching that credit sequence because these are
old toys that we kind of remember from our own childhoods.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
No, that's before my childhood.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I had a couple of those that were still around
for me.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You had him hand handed down to you from from
other parents.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
From other people. And I loved those things and they
made me smile. And I think they must have made
you smile for a different reason than if you didn't
have them.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Well, I know how much they're worth today, Okay, And
I was like, they probably because this is taking place
in sixty eight, they're probably from.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
The fifties, fifties.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
And I got it at a second hand store.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yes, and I love them.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
And they got the other thing they cheesily did was smoke.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
The smoke bombs going on.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
They're the type that you'd get at.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
A firework store.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, a fireworks store round ones.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Okay. So the credit sequence entertained us. The rest of
the movie didn't, which is messed up. Actually, there are
parts of the movie that that that did entertain us.
So we immediately go to a different car wreck there's
a man that's dead, covered in red paint, and another
man comes down an embankment and grabs the dude and
(09:26):
drags him away.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Darling, we think, we don't know what we think our theory.
Our theory is that they found this because it looks
like it's been there for.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
They found the wreck, Yes.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
And they decited just stuff sprewed all over the place.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yeah, it looks like they literally found a car wreck
and then decided to film it and film an actor
dragging another man with paint. With paint, it didn't look
like blood. And honestly, us theorizing about it and talking
about it was more entertaining. It was more entertaining than
the scene. And we didn't miss anything talking to each other.
(10:06):
This will be an ongoing thing throughout the movie that
we could literally have conversations and miss nothing because the
scenes just sit. Okay, So, anyway, in another car, we
have a guy that's rewinding a tape player while driving
down the road of a highway in Los Angeles. This
is a scene that could have been fifteen seconds, so
(10:29):
of course it has to be about three minutes long.
It is boring and pointless.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Well, his is part of the spy factor.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Yes, but this is a pointless scene. We go to
an office and see there's all these disconnects. They couldn't
really stay with one place. We go to an office
and I guess it's CIA agents. We learned that later on.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
This is where you pause so you could try to
get their names, and it was pointless to try to find.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Their names don't matter at all in this We have
I don't know dude, I actually he's doctor. He's doctor Holman,
who is played by Wendell Corey. He's like the the
I don't know whatever he's he's the head CIA guy, Porter,
(11:17):
Eric Porter, who actually does have an interesting part in
this movie. The character's name is Eric Porter. He was
assigned to a medical laboratory to observe two doctors, doctor
Petrovitch and doctor DeMarco, because they were doing some pretty
unethical experimentation to say the least. Okay, And it turns
(11:43):
out doctor Petrovitch isn't a bad guy.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
He come he's one of those that comes in.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Yes, so they called doctor Petrovitch in and they like, hey, uh,
good job, we have been investigating you. After doctor DeMarco's
doctor Marco disappeared. It turns out you're loyal to your country.
Good job in. This guy like doesn't really look scared
that he's been called into a CIA office and suddenly
(12:09):
here's this guy that he's been working with on like
that's just been in his lab for six months. Now.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
By the way, I'm going to point out that the
setting here is horrible.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Oh it doesn't look like there's.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
A picture of that. There's a map that would be
something that you get in a high school.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Yeah, there's like a pencil drawing of well, a pencil
piece of art. I shouldn't say drawing. It's like pencil
art of Johnson, isn't isn't it Lendam Johnson on the wall.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
And there is no there's JFK on the wall.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
There's also a picture of JFK on the wall. And
he has like a little trophy on his desk that
literally looks like a soldier from World War Two holding
a gun out at arm's length, like a pistol. I
don't get it.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Oh we got a pistol that we got to talk.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Oh, we're going to talk. We're going to talk about that, Okay.
But anyway, it turns out that there's been six months
of mutilation murders occurring that they think is linked to Marco. Now,
it's not clear why they think it's linked to Marco,
except that it seems like it might have been. These
mutilation murders started occurring when he disappeared. That's my guess.
(13:27):
It's not very clear in the movie.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
But you're talking about la in nineteen sixty a, which
would be still a huge play. Yeah, and how do
you connect one to the.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Other because they're all missing organs. I can see why
they would come up.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Well, and that was the other thing that's on the desk.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Oh, I don't get it.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I don't get why we have the plastic plastic organ innered.
You know, when you were in high school they had
this top.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
The people that are listening might not have ever had
these in high school. Dark. Okay that we are of
an era at this point. We're not old, but we're
middle aged and we grew up at a different age.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Okay, you'd have this mannequin that you could put these
organs in and how they were supposed to be and
there were plastic organs.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Yeah, but you learned anatomy through fitting these plastic organs
into a mannequin. Right, there's just plastic organs laying around.
There's just no body.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
There's nobody there. And he's holding.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
The large, large intestine.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
And small intensines because it's all one piece.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
And it's it's clearly plastic. And there's a brain sitting
on the on the desk and you think, okay, well
it's one of these brains from the Mannikin. No, it's
supposedly a real brain. Why does the CIA have a
brain sitting on the desk that is in a jar
(14:55):
with radio transceivers stuck into it.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
We're constantly asking this, why.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Why Darlene so doctor Petrovitch when he comes in can
give a demonstration. That's the only reason, because it needs
to be there for him to try to explain part
of the plot. Because why would the CIA have a
fresh brain with radio transceivers stuck into it there?
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Not like he you know, when they they should have
when they called him in, had a nurse come in
rolling something or yeah, it would have been better than
the plastic.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
And it's it's a human brain. It's a human brain.
It's not an animal brain. The size of it and
how many wrinkles are in it, it's clearly supposed to
be a human brain. Why this raises incredible amounts of questions,
but we, oh, my god, this whole movie. So it
(15:52):
turns out that the real project that DeMarco and Petrovitch
were working on was organ replacement, and DeMarco had developed
a mechanical heart, and I'm like, okay, okay, we have
this whole astro zombie thing. They're they're replacing organs with
mechanical organs. And then it turns out that they also
(16:13):
have developed a way to transmit data directly into the
brain via these radio transceivers, and that's the demonstration, and
he goes think about how easy it would be to
transmit data directly to the astronauts' brains and.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Orbit, No, he didn't say, he said, he gave it.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
They're dead. He wants to use dead bodies. And that's
where I pause it, and I go, Okay, Darlene, this
movie's gonna be shit because these people are clearly just
spouting technobabble. But the concept here, the concept, if we
put it into modern terms, is that these guys were
basically making bio biomechanical synthoids, biomechanical robots that actually had
(16:58):
partially organic components, and that they would be dead dead
but preserved in some way, and would have a computer
for a brain.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Oh and they talked about the plastic that they would
put over top of the skin, so the what organs
it did have, wou wouldn't get or or radiation.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
She wouldn't get radiation yet in space, because it turns
out like that doctor DeMarco had made like a plastic
coating for these things that could repel bullets. Okay, at
least they're trying to explain what we see later on
in the movie. I will give this section of the
movie credit for that. Okay, this section of the movie.
(17:42):
Now we go to a nightclub, and this nightclub probably
has the best stuff in the movie in it.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
And it's the same nightclub in several.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Nices, but all the cool things that are left in
this movie are in this nightclub. So we go to
the nightclub. There's a woman with huge and deep cleavage.
This is Tura Satana. She has an interesting life story,
let's put it that way. I don't know how much
(18:12):
we really want to go into her life story. You
can read about it. She's in a lot of B movies.
She had an interesting life, let's put it that way.
And she made some really good decisions in movies and
didn't really care that she was in b movies. She
just liked showing up to work looking pretty, being you know,
(18:36):
and making money. So she would just take these jobs
and go, Okay, you want to see cleavage, fine, I'll
show you cleavage. That's fine. Just don't treat me like shit.
And people generally didn't on films. Let's put it that way.
The rest of her life is a different story. That's
something to read about. Okay. So she's there, there's a
(18:56):
dude that's well, actually, she's drinking a martine and a guy.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
A dirty martini with an olive in it.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
It's a very dirty martini. And there's a guy there
that's looking nervous. Is he nervous for the rest of
the film. No, he's a hardcore killer. He's a cocky
hardcore killer. Why he's nervous at this meeting, I don't know. Okay,
So the guy with the tape recorder from earlier that
we basically just sat in the back of the car
with for three minutes, he arrives. He tells the g people, look,
(19:26):
I have the goods but he asks for money before
giving over this tape, and then he says, but I've
had way more expenses. I want double the amount of money.
Nervous guy pulls a giant switchblade. Butterfly, Yeah, butterfly knife,
huge damn switch.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
He also has a switchblade too that he uses, but
it's there.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Actually, this is not like a criminal nightclub. This is
just a regular nightclub that had had a waitress with
like a no, we don't see that waitress right now,
right with the white bow on her tushy. It's actually
a cute little cocktail server waitress dress. It's not even
a dress, it's it's its own thing. What is it, darling,
(20:09):
You can tell me.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
It's it's like a bathing suit almost.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Yeah, it's not like a playboy club outfit by any means.
But it's like a black one piece bikini that isn't
tight bikini. It's a one one PM but it's not
tight like a one piece swimsuit. And it has like
this pretty white bow on the back. Right. So anyway,
(20:35):
he's like, fine, I want double, and they look over
to this one guy that's kind of standing by the
exit to the to the nightclub, and he nods and
walks out, and she said fine. Uh Satana says, fine,
give him the money. The guy with the knife puts
the knife away and gives him all this money. The
guy walks out, and it turns out the guy that
(20:56):
walked out killed this guy's chauffeur and took his club,
took his clothes, and then just ran him over as
soon as he walked out. Did he need to kill
the guy? Well maybe, but he didn't need to take
his clothes. He could have just gotten in the car
and run the guy down. Like it doesn't make sense anyway,
that happens. We go to the research lab, we see
doctor DeMarco. We finally get to meet doctor Marco in
(21:18):
the basement of some BDSM dungeon. It is filled with
army surplus gear of nondescript nature.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I couldn't and this is where I'm they do the trope,
the what trope?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
This?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
The assistant is a hunchbacked kind of mute guy mute.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
I don't know. He's yes, he is just a stereotype.
And everything that John Carradine's character says that is science
y is just meaningless. It's just meaningless technobabble and at
this point, I should all also remark that every single
(22:02):
scene John Carrodine is in has no purpose at all
up until, like the last scene he sets.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Certain babbles to the person that he knows. Isn't that smart?
Speaker 3 (22:15):
No, I disagree he is smart, because later on he
does mention the fact that this guy has his own
experiments that he does, and he says, your experiments can
wait till later. I need help here with this. This
is more important. It's just that he is mute and
seemingly interested in hurting people.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
So three characters in this movie that likes to hit
hurt people.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
So they get this car wreck guy that they dragged out.
They strap a light lamp shade to his head and
then drain him of what can best be called kool aid.
It's just pink. It's supposed to be blood, but it
almost looks like pink Annie Freeze, And I think.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
There's supposed to be draining the spinal cord, but that.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Would be no. It's supposedly like they just stick it
into his neck, right, yeah, and the assistant like spills
some of it, and it's clearly a mistake that the
actor made, but they just left it in it's okay.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Because he looks at the camera.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
He looks at the he almost looks at the camera.
You can tell that he's looking up towards where the
director is, but the director is probably just waving his
hands saying keep going, keep going. So they're going to
extract all the body's blood according to them, and DeMarco
must totally degoss all the circuits that they're going to use.
God damn it do I hate these scenes because we
(23:43):
see him unscrew a screw you hear you.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Can skip ten minutes into the future.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
I was so angry at the scene, because are you
teaching me to degass the circuit? If you were, perhaps
this would be worth my time. You are not. You
are showing me unscrewing a drawer in a device this,
(24:14):
almost failing to open the lid of it because you
don't know how it opens properly, and then figuring out
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. So back at the
real lab, we get doctor Petrovich and a dark haired
nurse working together, and doctor Porter is there, I guess,
(24:36):
still doing work even though now everyone knows he's a
CIA agent and he's flirting with the redhead nurse. The
Redhead Nurse is played by Joan Patrick. She is playing
a character named Janine. And every time I hear a
character named Janine, I think of Janine from Ghostbusters. It
does not matter. It's Janine from Ghostbusters. Go go find Janine, okay,
(25:00):
And then I immediately think of like Janine, going, have
you have you ever had? Have you ever believed in
the lock Nest Monster? Things like that, I'm so sorry.
We hear Satana at one point listening to a tape. Oh,
by the way, in that scene with Janine, we have
(25:21):
we have Porter flirting with her all the way through it,
and it's workplace harassment. It's workplace harassment, That's all there
is to it. Satana listens to this tape and we
learn how astro zombies function and are powered by solar energy. So,
of course, all that means all of the all of
(25:41):
the scenes in this movie that are taking place at
night have a problem, right, And in fact that comes
up later because they have to use they have to
use a flashlight stuck to their head to keep them.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Alive, which wouldn't have worked running down the.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Street ladder, the flashlight stuck to.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
His head, which wouldn't have worked because the flashlight doesn't hpen.
If it was modern day's flashlight led, it would have worked.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Oh my god, this movie, there's a burlesque show. We
need to talk about the burlesque show.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Hey, that is a part to watch.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Okay, So the burlesque show takes place in this nightclub, the.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Same nightclub with the white.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Bowed white yeah, yeah, the white bow on the butt.
And we have doctor Porter, doctors I don't know, scumbag
and Janine there and they're all having drinks and they're
smoking Marlboroughs because we get a product placement that wasn't
meant to be product placement, but we know they're Marlboro Reds,
(26:46):
and we get to see a groovy burlesque show. Now
I need you to describe this burlesque show, because I
very well might not do it justice.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Well, the lady is in a sheer curtain that's hanging
down from the ceiling, and it's in pattern.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Of the sixties, late sixties. It's that weird, like groovy
not not a Paisley pattern, but that sort of groovy
lava lamp looking pattern that was I don't know, late sixties,
early seventies you know, she's.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Got red light and yellow light on her, and sometimes
it's just pure white.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Light, which does not work.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
That doesn't work. She's painted in those same colors, in
that same pattern, and she's dancing with the curtain, coming
undone from the curtain and flaunting.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
She's dancing. She's teasing.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
She's that's the word teasing. He is not got. All
she's got is paint on besides her panties.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Yeah, so she is topless, but she's covered in paint.
You can't really tell that she's.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I thought she was wearing taps at first.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Yeah, or like, yeah, something over her nipples. It turns
out that she's not. In fact, this is so mild.
This is so mild. I totally understand why this is
not considered nudity.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
If you like dancing, or you've got somebody that likes
odd dancing, this part of the film would be something
I would show to somebody.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Yeah it was.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
A great talent.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Yeah, and good job, yeah, really good job. I would
also go so far as to say that for nineteen
sixty eight, this being in a movie was probably pushing
the boundaries of good taste, let's put it that way.
But for today, this is today.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
We could actually do body paint as long as we
shaved the female.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
You could. You could be completely nude and BP.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
You could be completely nude body painted over top of it.
If you're shaved and.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
And be considered not naked, you could you could go
out there. Yeah, there's parties in La that are like
that that you can be photographed there. You can, it's
it's easy to find those online. But we're not talking
about nudity in this. The point is is that this
is a burlesque show. Yes, for nineteen sixty eight it's
a little bit pushing the line, but for today, this
is so mild it's difficult to even tell that she's
(29:33):
naked rather than having it.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Besides that, they were actually using lights that good lighting
that reflected off the paint and made it less noticeable.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Yes, any good job, really good job. And the reason
why we're focusing on this is this grab both of
our attentions because there is so little else in this
movie that actually stands out. But this would stand out
in any movie, like even a good movie. I think
this would stand out as being like, Wow, that's really
(30:08):
pushing the envelope. It's actually really artistic. And cool. It's
just that it's in. This isn't a really shitty movie.
So we get this boy, where else are we we have?
We have the thugs trying to knock over our heroes
(30:30):
that are here. Santana calls them back, but a couple
of the FBI guys are tapping the phone of the club.
When she calls the guys, or the guys call her
to get new orders. We get the guys FBI guys
or I guess they're CIA guys. I'm sorry, going out
to follow them back to Satana's hideout. There's an entirely
(30:55):
pointless back and forth in the car park and a
switch board that actually grabbed your attention because the movie
is so boring at this point you were like, that's
a brand new telephone switching box.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
It's a fairly modern one.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
You actually spent ten minutes looking up telephone switching boxes.
That's how boring this movie is.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Because the computerized electronic ones just were finally integrated in
nineteen seventies in the US, so.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
This is a very early one in LA because all
this was filmed in LA And once you started talking
about that, I'm like, Okay, that is actually cool. That
this guy kind of caught one of these really early
switchboxes that were installed and it was clearly just installed
at this.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Place, right, Yeah, it probably wasn't actually even operation at
this time.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Satanna captures one of these CIA guys and starts torturing
him for information and actually puts her cigarette out on
his face and.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Then shoots him. And then we got to talk about
the shooting.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
Okay, okay, okay, okay, we got to talk about the shooting.
Satanna has a revolver, but it has a device that
it looks like a garden hose.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
It is a garden hall's attachment, one of those that
you turn the knob and it.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Changes the yes the spray and it acts like a
silencer on it. Now here's the thing. Here's the thing.
We as Soviet World War two reenactors know a little
something about.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Revolvers, I be whatever that is the thing that you
look up.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Oh oh, well, we know that we know that revolvers
don't use silencers asterisk. We'll get to that in a second.
But like when you look up goofs online, it's like,
revolvers don't use silencers. This is a big goof in
the film. The thing is one revolver does. One revolver does,
and it's we We We use it as a Soviet
(32:58):
World War two reenactor, and it's the old revolver that
actually has a gas seal system in it so you
can't like hurt your fingers that actually the whole cylinder
moves forward and seals the bullet into the See if
Katie was here for this episode, we would be something
there talking about this, this eighteen ninety revolver. Anyway, the
(33:18):
point is is I had to stop the film at
this point to see if wait a second, is this
a screw up or is she using like anagaute revolver
with an improper silencer because silencers are kind of like
a hard thing to get a hold of for then
agout revolver.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
And that is one of the one pistol that would
actually make the noise that is shown on TV.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Yeah, if you go and find videos of a the
Gut revolver with a silencer attached to it, it is
the closest to what you would see in a movie
Silence You're in the movie, Yeah that that you know,
it's really quiet. But most of the time, if you
fired a silence weapon, it's still very loud. Right, it's
(34:01):
not like what they show in the movies. Then the
Gaunt Revolver is a little different than that. Let's put
it that.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
But it wasn't It was a cult.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
No, it's a it's a Smith and Wesson.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Oh, it's a smith.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
It was a Smith and Wess. So it is a
screw up. It is a screw up. But the point
is is that I had to stop the movie for
a second and when I went, okay, hold on, wait
a second, is that an a Gaunt revolver just with
an improper silencer.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
But at least they didn't film the the revolver straight
down the barrels.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
See it had it had no rounds. But did you
The one thing I did note is whenever she fired it,
she never fired more than six shots, and then there
was always time where she could have reloaded it. I
will give the movie credit for that. I will do that.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Okay, Well that's something that they've gotten.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Revolver doesn't have seven rounds. It has seven round cylinder,
and you.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Can't get them out without taking about fifteen.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Minutes just sitting there poking the shells out, because again,
the cylinder doesn't come out. It moves forward. Anyway, it's
a very strange revolver. Again, Katie, if you're listening, I
know that you could say a whole bunch of things here,
But anyway, what together. Cia Guy gets shot in the
back and killed and thrown into the apartment complex's pool. Again.
(35:13):
All of this is taking place at night against a
blue sky and stark shadows.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
And there's no blood, no blood, no.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
The only blood that we ever see is that bright
red paint paint.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
That's the beginning.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
My notes here become fragmentary because of how boring the
movie is. I wrote down the day for night shots
are terrible. CIA Guy runs out of AMMO and head
butts agon. Satana shoots him dead six times. At doctor
DeMarco's lab, a random woman in a snake skinned bikini
(35:50):
is strapped to a table and menaced by the assistant.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Oh in her top.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
I thought her top was improperly fit because the way
she's strapped this table, it makes it look like the
top is like three times three sizes too small, or that.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
They've stuffed it three times too much.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
Yes, you know what I mean, right like yeah?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
And it's also she's got her arms up and she's struggling.
Speaker 3 (36:18):
So it does not look comfortable.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
And this woman that is uh on the stretcher, there
is no reason for her.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
No, there isn't except that there's a little bit of
underboob that you see. That's the only reason I think
she's there.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Well, there's also the case where the doctor Marcos or
whatever his name is, goes, you need to stop your project.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
And yeah, he's just over there menacing her. But here's
the thing, Like he goes over there with the kool
aid buckets. So I think he's wanting to drain her
blood to be used in the astro zombie project. I
don't know. I don't know. Back at CIA headquarters, they say, boy,
there's two dead agents, both dead at the same location.
(37:06):
Maybe they were onto something.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Well, there was a timeline, I guess finding that guy
that had the tape. That was a clue into.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
What astroscience conference seems to have a lot of people
who have died.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yes, that's WHEREVER think.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Astro men are being made and tested. And the only
brains that doctor de Marcos could use before he disappeared
were from dead criminal mass murderers. Boy, I do so
now he thinks that like there's this nurse that was
(37:42):
killed at the lab, the dark haired nurse that I
kind of mentioned briefly before. I don't know when she
was killed. It was at some point before this. I
didn't write it down. I was bored. They think that
maybe the astro zombie is coming and hunting anyone involved
in the astro Zombie project and is coming back to
the lab to hunt people. So Janine now needs to
(38:03):
go and act as bait.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Janine is another lab now.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
No no, Janie goes back to the normal lab.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Oh, and she's supposed to look out the window and
blah blah, blah blah and until she gets home that
the astro.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
The astro zombie attacks are at home. But we have
to go through ten minutes of watching Janine piss away
her time at the lab and do nothing.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Look at in a microscope that you get in in
high school.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
I then she gets attacked at home, and Paulson is
an idiot because her lights don't work, so he goes
outside to the funeral.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
This is the worst day for nights chot that I
have ever seen seen.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
So he goes outside to check the fuse box. She's
attacked inside by the astro zombie. She's screaming her head off.
He does nothing. He's still messing with the and we
see him from entering around with the fuse box, and
it keeps happening. She's screaming. This guy's like tearing out.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
And daylight is hitting the bushes so.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
So, and he's holding the flashlight there trying to see
into the fusebox because it's just too damn dark and the.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
Sun was glaring ony.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
This goddamn movie. Finally he hears her screaming and goes,
oh my God, and then runs off and he gets
into a fight with the astro zombie in side. Now,
I will say that that fight looked pretty good, because
I don't think that fight was supposed to happen that way,
because it looks like they actually threw themselves into that
(39:42):
folding door for the closet too hard.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
They broke it.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
They broke it. It actually did. It looked like a
legitimate folding door.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
It looks like they might have done this in an
apartment building, in somebody's apartment, somebody's apartment, and broke.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
And broke the door legitimately. But in the fight, in
the fight, a tiny flashlight battery casing gets knocked off
the astro zombie, and the astro zombie now doesn't have
any backup charge, so he grabs the flashlight and holds
it to his head to run back to the lab
because that's the only way he can keep going.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
We see i'd say two minutes to three minutes of
him running. You know, it goes back and forth, but
there's a lot of seeing this ridiculous guy running with
this mask and a flashlight tucked to his head.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
Right like, okay, look, the end of the movie is
everyone kind of figures out where the astro zombie is going.
I put away my notes. Astro Zombie goes back to
this mansion where doctor Marcos is in the basement. Satana
like shoots everybody. The CIA agents come in. They deal
with the astro zombies as best as they can. Finally,
(40:52):
all the astro zombies are kind of like dead after
being shut down. Satana gets thrown into like a breaker
box and fries. The end.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
I did say on this scene, I go, that's a
nice retro Tudor house.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
No no, I I agree with that. I agree with that.
So let's let's what worked. The burlesque scene. The credits
made me smile. That's it. And the mask, the mask,
the astro zombie mask. That's it. Do you think can
you think of anything else that worked in this movie? No,
(41:32):
Everything else about this movie firmly falls into it did
not work firmly. And except for okay, I'll make average average.
I'll say the acting overall was average. For everybody, it
was average. Some of them fell into the it did
not work, but overall the acting. If I had to
make a like acting, it's it's average.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
I would actually say the main the person that got
paid the most.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
Did not John Carodine. John Carrodine phoned it in. Every
scene he was in was entirely wasted and pointless. You
could literally remove every single scene with John Krodine except
the last one where everybody dies, and it does not
change the movie one iota, not one that's shocking. You
(42:24):
could remove. You could remove almost every scene at CIA headquarters.
I think almost every I think every scene you could
remove and it would not change the story.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Like well, the first thing you'd have to do in
this movie is decide what it is?
Speaker 3 (42:43):
It Okay, if I had if I had to say
what this movie was more than anything else, it's a
spy thriller because the science fiction is so pointless in garbage.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
And that would be fine, a spy thriller that actually
has a scientific point where somebody wants to steal.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
This technology, this technology of like mind control. They're bringing bodies,
they're like reanimating bodies for like limited time as like assassins.
That could have been really cool, like, look, we don't
even need a man cheering candiate, We don't even need
to brainwash people. We can just bring a corpse back
for like twelve hours and control them with this helmet
or whatever, and they'll go in and kill whoever we want.
(43:28):
And you can shoot them as many times, it doesn't matter.
They won't die. They're already dead. That's actually kind of
a cool idea.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Right, And the mask would be the control thing on
the dead corpse.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
That could be cool right there.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
You'd have the police in on trying to find out
what's going on with all these grave robberies or.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
Yeah, or like bodies are disappearing from like car wrecks, And.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
It wouldn't be the CIA, would be the FBI.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
I don't know, Yeah, it shouldn't be the CIA here,
It shouldn't it shouldn't. It should be the FBI. But like,
let's say, yeah, I think that would have been a
much better movie. But you don't. I don't know. There's
so much wrong with this movie. You can't. You can't
just say you would change one thing, like the basic
(44:20):
concept of the movie of like a dead body being
reanimated with like cybernet x or whatever. That's fine. It's
just that everything else around it is such garbage. When
you have the little side pieces like oh, this burlesque dance.
That's really cool that I can sit there and focus
and we can focus on talking about the burlesque dance.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
But that could have been a mistaken though.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
They could have just been like, oh, there's a burlesque
dance happening while we're filming at the nightclub today, let's
film it. Ooops, it's a mistake. At this point for
this film, I don't think I could discount it now
there are I will say this, We're done talking about
this movie. I'm done because we don't recommend We don't
recommend it. What's you're out of ten?
Speaker 1 (45:07):
Two?
Speaker 3 (45:08):
Two? I agree this is a two out of ten.
It is not the worst film we have seen. Believe
it or not. It still is not the worst movie
we've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
It isn't because the my one that makes me so angry.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
Creeping terror, terror, and to me, it's not. It's nowhere
near as offensive as like the Rocket Attack USA or
Invasion USA. It's this is bad. It's just not good.
There are three sequels to this written and directed by
the same person. I might watch them out of spite,
but we're not going to remove We're not going to
(45:44):
review them. He might, I won't, that's fair, but I
want to see if the director writer improved at all,
because the sequels aren't like a couple of years afterwards,
like this is nineteen sixty eight. I think the first
sequel was like two thousand and eight, so it's a
very different time period. He clearly had a lot of
(46:07):
time to grow and learn. But I'm gonna leave it there.
I'm sorry if this came across as too negative. We
truly did not like this movie, and it's rare that
we get a movie that we did not like this much.
You complained immediately watching this movie.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
And yet everything was going on and I had no
it didn't connect, nothing, nothing connected in the beginning of
the It.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
Makes sense to me in a certain way, like the intro,
Like the first ten minutes, I understood what they were
trying to set up. I got it. Was it competently done,
of course not, of course not, but I got it.
It was very rapid fire switching scenes and then spouting babble,
(46:53):
but okay, I got it.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
Then it slowed down to a craw.
Speaker 3 (46:57):
And it was just a crawl for the rest of
the movie. And most of it was a pointless crawl
that you could leave the room for five, six, seven
minutes at a time and come back and not have
missed anything. So I will leave it there. Hopefully our
next film that we review will like a little bit more.
We have reviewed films very recently that we have actually
(47:19):
really liked. So's it's a crap shoot. It's crapshoot with us.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
I'm eron, I'm Darlene.
Speaker 3 (47:26):
Good evening, you keep watching the Skies. At no point
in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to
anything that could be considered a rational thought.
Speaker 4 (47:38):
Thanks for listening to this episode of This Week in
Geek Hungry For more, check out our website. If this
Week in Geek dot Net you can subscribe to the podcast,
browse our Twitter and Instagram, and leave your thoughts on
today's topics. If you'd like to give us some feedback,
send us an email at Feedback at This Week in
geek dot net. Tune in next time, and remember.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
Lower your shields and surrender your listeners.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
We would be honored if you would join us.
Speaker 3 (48:03):
Thank you for your cooperation.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Good night,
But aren't you fellows ever positive only about doomsday?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
What could be worse than disappointing a little girl disappointing
a big girl.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I have other ways of securing your cooperation.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Sorry, miss I was giving myself an oil job. When
was it just azumbly as we've seen attitude to it
since we gave to a few low cabbages an intellectual carrot.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
That mind boggles you see you see your stupid lives.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Stupid, stupid, I said Santa Claus. Long enough, we will
bring him to Mars. I've been afraid a lot of
times in my life, but I didn't know the real
meaning of fear until until I kiss peck me. One
thing will be clear. It's not from man to interfere
in the ways of God's life.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Earth Versus Soup, Episode
two seventy two. I'm Marrion Pollier, I'm Darling. We watched
a terrible movie today. You knew it was terrible, Well
I didn't. I knew it was terrible because of some
reviews that I had read beforehand. I didn't truly understand
how bad it was in certain regards, But there were
(01:27):
other things in the movie that I didn't feel were
anywhere near as bad as what was described. The movie
is Astro Zombies from nineteen sixty eight May nineteen.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
The budget was thirty seven thousand, and you said.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Like three thousand of us went to pay for the
one A list actor that got into this, and it
was John Kronine. Let's be fair. I don't know how
long this review is going to be, because this movie
is an hour and a half long, and it's about
an hour and twenty minutes of filler. But no, I okay,
(02:06):
it's about an hour and twenty minutes of footage that
either either is either filler or inconsequential inconsequential to the plot.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
But then you have in the beginning, it's like wham bam, yes,
so thank you ma'am.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Yeah, the beginning of the film, there's actually a lot
that happens.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I couldn't even keep up with it.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I will also say that there are aspects of this
film that I think actually work. We're gonna be I
will be frank right out of the gate. We both
did not like this movie, but we're gonna be fair
about it. So I already said that John Carrodine's in it.
John Carodine is technically like top built. Well he's not
(02:55):
top built, but he's the only person that you really know. Okay.
Everybody else is either bit part actors that have appeared
only in a couple movies or television shows. There's one
person that kind of stands out besides that, besides John Carrodine,
and that's Tura Satana, who plays a villainous in this.
I would argue she might be better. No, I won't argue.
(03:20):
I will say that she is better than John Carrodine
in this. She might be the best actress. Even though
she is crap in it. She still had a shit
roll with no direction and had fun with it. This
movie is technically a science fiction movie, but the science
(03:40):
fiction elements of it are so bad that we needed
to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
This movie is trying to be a spy thriller.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
The spy thriller some of the spice thriller stuff works.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
It's trying to be a science fiction.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Which it does not work.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
A murder.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Crime crime thing it's so Orda does sure.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I don't know if it's supposed to be drama too.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I don't know about that. But like I said, the
spy stuff. Some of the spy stuff I can see
where it actually.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
You can feel, you can figure it out as it
goes a lot better than the rest of the stuff.
The stuff is you like the mask of.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
The the astro Zombie.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Astro Zombie, And one of the questions I want to
ask is did they even say who wrote who played
the astro Zombie?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Oh, well, that's this kind of movie.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Would make me think that they would have it.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
As yeah, it's just Rod Willmuth who Okay, he was
in the astro Zombie. The astro Zombie helmet is pretty
freaking cool.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
But many times when they show the back of it,
you see that it's.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
A oh sure, sure it's it's there's a scene in it, right,
there's a scene you cut up just I don't know,
done something like a hood or something like that.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
No, I'm saying you could have clipped it together instead
of just let it hang out like.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Oh, yeah, okay, it's a.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
It looks it has a slit in it, like it's
a Lucas mask.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Yes. So with this review, I am going to talk
about the plot, but I think the things that we
really need to do is point out the things that
we like and understand that everything that we're not pointing
out that we like is really bad. We'll point out
some of the stuff that's really bad, and then I
think we need to talk about how we would change
(05:38):
this movie. This is another one of those movies where
it would be like, this really needs something done.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Well. Number one of it is well, figure out what
it's supposed to be.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yes, So we'll get into that afterwards. Okay, but let's
let's do this plot. And I almost can do this
plot in like fifteen minutes, I think even less. So
we start with a woman driving a convertible with groovy
music playing, and this is the part of the movie
that I actually really liked. She's driving up she Mustang. Yeah,
(06:14):
she's driving a white Mustang with the top down through
Los Angeles. There's some really cool classic cars on display.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
But it shows some of the radio mostly.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Yes, and it's playing music that is retro exotica. Today
we would classify it as retro exotica. She pulls into
the garage and we learn that it's nighttime. And this
is one of the largest laws of the movie is
that much of the movie takes place at night. Air
quotes around night because They are some of the worst
(06:46):
day for night shots I've ever seen, to the extent
that the only reason you know it's night is because
there's cricket noises being made literally, Otherwise it looks like
it's daytime and they're just filming in daytime with an
improper outer.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Setting and blue lighting or like.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
A blue built blue filter. It is confusing how bad
it is. So anyway, she pulls into the garage and
there's an astro zombie that is inside wearing this really
cold mask. If you look online, you can see the
movie poster of this astrozombie mask. It might be the
best thing about this movie. He attacks her with a
(07:25):
with a gardening tool and blood sprays against the side
of the white Mustang that she was driving. The credits
play and we actually again both of us were like,
what's this?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
But what is the point of the toys? Because there's
the robots.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Okay, well, describe what the toys are.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
They're ten mechanized wind up toys.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Along with with a wind up tank. There's a wind up.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
There's a wind up tank. Most of them are robots.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Yes, yes, and this is during the price Yeah, what's
the point you ask? Okay, it's because the astro zombies
are cyborgs and those are robots. That's it now to us.
We both smiled watching that credit sequence because these are
old toys that we kind of remember from our own childhoods.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
No, that's before my childhood.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I had a couple of those that were still around
for me.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You had him hand handed down to you from from
other parents.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
From other people. And I loved those things and they
made me smile. And I think they must have made
you smile for a different reason than if you didn't
have them.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Well, I know how much they're worth today, Okay, And
I was like, they probably because this is taking place
in sixty eight, they're probably from.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
The fifties, fifties.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
And I got it at a second hand store.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Yes, and I love them.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
And they got the other thing they cheesily did was smoke.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
The smoke bombs going on.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
They're the type that you'd get at.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
A firework store.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, a fireworks store round ones.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Okay. So the credit sequence entertained us. The rest of
the movie didn't, which is messed up. Actually, there are
parts of the movie that that that did entertain us.
So we immediately go to a different car wreck there's
a man that's dead, covered in red paint, and another
man comes down an embankment and grabs the dude and
(09:26):
drags him away.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Darling, we think, we don't know what we think our theory.
Our theory is that they found this because it looks
like it's been there for.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
They found the wreck, Yes.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
And they decited just stuff sprewed all over the place.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yeah, it looks like they literally found a car wreck
and then decided to film it and film an actor
dragging another man with paint. With paint, it didn't look
like blood. And honestly, us theorizing about it and talking
about it was more entertaining. It was more entertaining than
the scene. And we didn't miss anything talking to each other.
(10:06):
This will be an ongoing thing throughout the movie that
we could literally have conversations and miss nothing because the
scenes just sit. Okay, So, anyway, in another car, we
have a guy that's rewinding a tape player while driving
down the road of a highway in Los Angeles. This
is a scene that could have been fifteen seconds, so
(10:29):
of course it has to be about three minutes long.
It is boring and pointless.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Well, his is part of the spy factor.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Yes, but this is a pointless scene. We go to
an office and see there's all these disconnects. They couldn't
really stay with one place. We go to an office
and I guess it's CIA agents. We learned that later on.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
This is where you pause so you could try to
get their names, and it was pointless to try to find.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Their names don't matter at all in this We have
I don't know dude, I actually he's doctor. He's doctor Holman,
who is played by Wendell Corey. He's like the the
I don't know whatever he's he's the head CIA guy, Porter,
(11:17):
Eric Porter, who actually does have an interesting part in
this movie. The character's name is Eric Porter. He was
assigned to a medical laboratory to observe two doctors, doctor
Petrovitch and doctor DeMarco, because they were doing some pretty
unethical experimentation to say the least. Okay, And it turns
(11:43):
out doctor Petrovitch isn't a bad guy.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
He come he's one of those that comes in.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Yes, so they called doctor Petrovitch in and they like, hey, uh,
good job, we have been investigating you. After doctor DeMarco's
doctor Marco disappeared. It turns out you're loyal to your country.
Good job in. This guy like doesn't really look scared
that he's been called into a CIA office and suddenly
(12:09):
here's this guy that he's been working with on like
that's just been in his lab for six months. Now.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
By the way, I'm going to point out that the
setting here is horrible.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Oh it doesn't look like there's.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
A picture of that. There's a map that would be
something that you get in a high school.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Yeah, there's like a pencil drawing of well, a pencil
piece of art. I shouldn't say drawing. It's like pencil
art of Johnson, isn't isn't it Lendam Johnson on the wall.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
And there is no there's JFK on the wall.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
There's also a picture of JFK on the wall. And
he has like a little trophy on his desk that
literally looks like a soldier from World War Two holding
a gun out at arm's length, like a pistol. I
don't get it.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Oh we got a pistol that we got to talk.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Oh, we're going to talk. We're going to talk about that, Okay.
But anyway, it turns out that there's been six months
of mutilation murders occurring that they think is linked to Marco. Now,
it's not clear why they think it's linked to Marco,
except that it seems like it might have been. These
mutilation murders started occurring when he disappeared. That's my guess.
(13:27):
It's not very clear in the movie.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
But you're talking about la in nineteen sixty a, which
would be still a huge play. Yeah, and how do
you connect one to the.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Other because they're all missing organs. I can see why
they would come up.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Well, and that was the other thing that's on the desk.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Oh, I don't get it.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I don't get why we have the plastic plastic organ innered.
You know, when you were in high school they had
this top.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
The people that are listening might not have ever had
these in high school. Dark. Okay that we are of
an era at this point. We're not old, but we're
middle aged and we grew up at a different age.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Okay, you'd have this mannequin that you could put these
organs in and how they were supposed to be and
there were plastic organs.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Yeah, but you learned anatomy through fitting these plastic organs
into a mannequin. Right, there's just plastic organs laying around.
There's just no body.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
There's nobody there. And he's holding.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
The large, large intestine.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
And small intensines because it's all one piece.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
And it's it's clearly plastic. And there's a brain sitting
on the on the desk and you think, okay, well
it's one of these brains from the Mannikin. No, it's
supposedly a real brain. Why does the CIA have a
brain sitting on the desk that is in a jar
(14:55):
with radio transceivers stuck into it.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
We're constantly asking this, why.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Why Darlene so doctor Petrovitch when he comes in can
give a demonstration. That's the only reason, because it needs
to be there for him to try to explain part
of the plot. Because why would the CIA have a
fresh brain with radio transceivers stuck into it there?
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Not like he you know, when they they should have
when they called him in, had a nurse come in
rolling something or yeah, it would have been better than
the plastic.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
And it's it's a human brain. It's a human brain.
It's not an animal brain. The size of it and
how many wrinkles are in it, it's clearly supposed to
be a human brain. Why this raises incredible amounts of questions,
but we, oh, my god, this whole movie. So it
(15:52):
turns out that the real project that DeMarco and Petrovitch
were working on was organ replacement, and DeMarco had developed
a mechanical heart, and I'm like, okay, okay, we have
this whole astro zombie thing. They're they're replacing organs with
mechanical organs. And then it turns out that they also
(16:13):
have developed a way to transmit data directly into the
brain via these radio transceivers, and that's the demonstration, and
he goes think about how easy it would be to
transmit data directly to the astronauts' brains and.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Orbit, No, he didn't say, he said, he gave it.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
They're dead. He wants to use dead bodies. And that's
where I pause it, and I go, Okay, Darlene, this
movie's gonna be shit because these people are clearly just
spouting technobabble. But the concept here, the concept, if we
put it into modern terms, is that these guys were
basically making bio biomechanical synthoids, biomechanical robots that actually had
(16:58):
partially organic components, and that they would be dead dead
but preserved in some way, and would have a computer
for a brain.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Oh and they talked about the plastic that they would
put over top of the skin, so the what organs
it did have, wou wouldn't get or or radiation.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
She wouldn't get radiation yet in space, because it turns
out like that doctor DeMarco had made like a plastic
coating for these things that could repel bullets. Okay, at
least they're trying to explain what we see later on
in the movie. I will give this section of the
movie credit for that. Okay, this section of the movie.
(17:42):
Now we go to a nightclub, and this nightclub probably
has the best stuff in the movie in it.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
And it's the same nightclub in several.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Nices, but all the cool things that are left in
this movie are in this nightclub. So we go to
the nightclub. There's a woman with huge and deep cleavage.
This is Tura Satana. She has an interesting life story,
let's put it that way. I don't know how much
(18:12):
we really want to go into her life story. You
can read about it. She's in a lot of B movies.
She had an interesting life, let's put it that way.
And she made some really good decisions in movies and
didn't really care that she was in b movies. She
just liked showing up to work looking pretty, being you know,
(18:36):
and making money. So she would just take these jobs
and go, Okay, you want to see cleavage, fine, I'll
show you cleavage. That's fine. Just don't treat me like shit.
And people generally didn't on films. Let's put it that way.
The rest of her life is a different story. That's
something to read about. Okay. So she's there, there's a
(18:56):
dude that's well, actually, she's drinking a martine and a guy.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
A dirty martini with an olive in it.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
It's a very dirty martini. And there's a guy there
that's looking nervous. Is he nervous for the rest of
the film. No, he's a hardcore killer. He's a cocky
hardcore killer. Why he's nervous at this meeting, I don't know. Okay,
So the guy with the tape recorder from earlier that
we basically just sat in the back of the car
with for three minutes, he arrives. He tells the g people, look,
(19:26):
I have the goods but he asks for money before
giving over this tape, and then he says, but I've
had way more expenses. I want double the amount of money.
Nervous guy pulls a giant switchblade. Butterfly, Yeah, butterfly knife,
huge damn switch.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
He also has a switchblade too that he uses, but
it's there.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Actually, this is not like a criminal nightclub. This is
just a regular nightclub that had had a waitress with
like a no, we don't see that waitress right now,
right with the white bow on her tushy. It's actually
a cute little cocktail server waitress dress. It's not even
a dress, it's it's its own thing. What is it, darling,
(20:09):
You can tell me.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
It's it's like a bathing suit almost.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Yeah, it's not like a playboy club outfit by any means.
But it's like a black one piece bikini that isn't
tight bikini. It's a one one PM but it's not
tight like a one piece swimsuit. And it has like
this pretty white bow on the back. Right. So anyway,
(20:35):
he's like, fine, I want double, and they look over
to this one guy that's kind of standing by the
exit to the to the nightclub, and he nods and
walks out, and she said fine. Uh Satana says, fine,
give him the money. The guy with the knife puts
the knife away and gives him all this money. The
guy walks out, and it turns out the guy that
(20:56):
walked out killed this guy's chauffeur and took his club,
took his clothes, and then just ran him over as
soon as he walked out. Did he need to kill
the guy? Well maybe, but he didn't need to take
his clothes. He could have just gotten in the car
and run the guy down. Like it doesn't make sense anyway,
that happens. We go to the research lab, we see
doctor DeMarco. We finally get to meet doctor Marco in
(21:18):
the basement of some BDSM dungeon. It is filled with
army surplus gear of nondescript nature.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
I couldn't and this is where I'm they do the trope,
the what trope?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
This?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
The assistant is a hunchbacked kind of mute guy mute.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
I don't know. He's yes, he is just a stereotype.
And everything that John Carradine's character says that is science
y is just meaningless. It's just meaningless technobabble and at
this point, I should all also remark that every single
(22:02):
scene John Carrodine is in has no purpose at all
up until, like the last scene he sets.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Certain babbles to the person that he knows. Isn't that smart?
Speaker 3 (22:15):
No, I disagree he is smart, because later on he
does mention the fact that this guy has his own
experiments that he does, and he says, your experiments can
wait till later. I need help here with this. This
is more important. It's just that he is mute and
seemingly interested in hurting people.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
So three characters in this movie that likes to hit
hurt people.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
So they get this car wreck guy that they dragged out.
They strap a light lamp shade to his head and
then drain him of what can best be called kool aid.
It's just pink. It's supposed to be blood, but it
almost looks like pink Annie Freeze, And I think.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
There's supposed to be draining the spinal cord, but that.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Would be no. It's supposedly like they just stick it
into his neck, right, yeah, and the assistant like spills
some of it, and it's clearly a mistake that the
actor made, but they just left it in it's okay.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Because he looks at the camera.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
He looks at the he almost looks at the camera.
You can tell that he's looking up towards where the
director is, but the director is probably just waving his
hands saying keep going, keep going. So they're going to
extract all the body's blood according to them, and DeMarco
must totally degoss all the circuits that they're going to use.
God damn it do I hate these scenes because we
(23:43):
see him unscrew a screw you hear you.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Can skip ten minutes into the future.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
I was so angry at the scene, because are you
teaching me to degass the circuit? If you were, perhaps
this would be worth my time. You are not. You
are showing me unscrewing a drawer in a device this,
(24:14):
almost failing to open the lid of it because you
don't know how it opens properly, and then figuring out
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. So back at the
real lab, we get doctor Petrovich and a dark haired
nurse working together, and doctor Porter is there, I guess,
(24:36):
still doing work even though now everyone knows he's a
CIA agent and he's flirting with the redhead nurse. The
Redhead Nurse is played by Joan Patrick. She is playing
a character named Janine. And every time I hear a
character named Janine, I think of Janine from Ghostbusters. It
does not matter. It's Janine from Ghostbusters. Go go find Janine, okay,
(25:00):
And then I immediately think of like Janine, going, have
you have you ever had? Have you ever believed in
the lock Nest Monster? Things like that, I'm so sorry.
We hear Satana at one point listening to a tape. Oh,
by the way, in that scene with Janine, we have
(25:21):
we have Porter flirting with her all the way through it,
and it's workplace harassment. It's workplace harassment, That's all there
is to it. Satana listens to this tape and we
learn how astro zombies function and are powered by solar energy. So,
of course, all that means all of the all of
(25:41):
the scenes in this movie that are taking place at
night have a problem, right, And in fact that comes
up later because they have to use they have to
use a flashlight stuck to their head to keep them.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Alive, which wouldn't have worked running down the.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Street ladder, the flashlight stuck to.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
His head, which wouldn't have worked because the flashlight doesn't hpen.
If it was modern day's flashlight led, it would have worked.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Oh my god, this movie, there's a burlesque show. We
need to talk about the burlesque show.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Hey, that is a part to watch.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Okay, So the burlesque show takes place in this nightclub, the.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Same nightclub with the white.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Bowed white yeah, yeah, the white bow on the butt.
And we have doctor Porter, doctors I don't know, scumbag
and Janine there and they're all having drinks and they're
smoking Marlboroughs because we get a product placement that wasn't
meant to be product placement, but we know they're Marlboro Reds,
(26:46):
and we get to see a groovy burlesque show. Now
I need you to describe this burlesque show, because I
very well might not do it justice.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Well, the lady is in a sheer curtain that's hanging
down from the ceiling, and it's in pattern.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Of the sixties, late sixties. It's that weird, like groovy
not not a Paisley pattern, but that sort of groovy
lava lamp looking pattern that was I don't know, late sixties,
early seventies you know, she's.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Got red light and yellow light on her, and sometimes
it's just pure white.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Light, which does not work.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
That doesn't work. She's painted in those same colors, in
that same pattern, and she's dancing with the curtain, coming
undone from the curtain and flaunting.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
She's dancing. She's teasing.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
She's that's the word teasing. He is not got. All
she's got is paint on besides her panties.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Yeah, so she is topless, but she's covered in paint.
You can't really tell that she's.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I thought she was wearing taps at first.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Yeah, or like, yeah, something over her nipples. It turns
out that she's not. In fact, this is so mild.
This is so mild. I totally understand why this is
not considered nudity.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
If you like dancing, or you've got somebody that likes
odd dancing, this part of the film would be something
I would show to somebody.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Yeah it was.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
A great talent.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Yeah, and good job, yeah, really good job. I would
also go so far as to say that for nineteen
sixty eight, this being in a movie was probably pushing
the boundaries of good taste, let's put it that way.
But for today, this is today.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
We could actually do body paint as long as we
shaved the female.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
You could. You could be completely nude and BP.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
You could be completely nude body painted over top of it.
If you're shaved and.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
And be considered not naked, you could you could go
out there. Yeah, there's parties in La that are like
that that you can be photographed there. You can, it's
it's easy to find those online. But we're not talking
about nudity in this. The point is is that this
is a burlesque show. Yes, for nineteen sixty eight it's
a little bit pushing the line, but for today, this
is so mild it's difficult to even tell that she's
(29:33):
naked rather than having it.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Besides that, they were actually using lights that good lighting
that reflected off the paint and made it less noticeable.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Yes, any good job, really good job. And the reason
why we're focusing on this is this grab both of
our attentions because there is so little else in this
movie that actually stands out. But this would stand out
in any movie, like even a good movie. I think
this would stand out as being like, Wow, that's really
(30:08):
pushing the envelope. It's actually really artistic. And cool. It's
just that it's in. This isn't a really shitty movie.
So we get this boy, where else are we we have?
We have the thugs trying to knock over our heroes
(30:30):
that are here. Santana calls them back, but a couple
of the FBI guys are tapping the phone of the club.
When she calls the guys, or the guys call her
to get new orders. We get the guys FBI guys
or I guess they're CIA guys. I'm sorry, going out
to follow them back to Satana's hideout. There's an entirely
(30:55):
pointless back and forth in the car park and a
switch board that actually grabbed your attention because the movie
is so boring at this point you were like, that's
a brand new telephone switching box.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
It's a fairly modern one.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
You actually spent ten minutes looking up telephone switching boxes.
That's how boring this movie is.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Because the computerized electronic ones just were finally integrated in
nineteen seventies in the US, so.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
This is a very early one in LA because all
this was filmed in LA And once you started talking
about that, I'm like, Okay, that is actually cool. That
this guy kind of caught one of these really early
switchboxes that were installed and it was clearly just installed
at this.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Place, right, Yeah, it probably wasn't actually even operation at
this time.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Satanna captures one of these CIA guys and starts torturing
him for information and actually puts her cigarette out on
his face and.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Then shoots him. And then we got to talk about
the shooting.
Speaker 3 (32:02):
Okay, okay, okay, okay, we got to talk about the shooting.
Satanna has a revolver, but it has a device that
it looks like a garden hose.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
It is a garden hall's attachment, one of those that
you turn the knob and it.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Changes the yes the spray and it acts like a
silencer on it. Now here's the thing. Here's the thing.
We as Soviet World War two reenactors know a little
something about.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Revolvers, I be whatever that is the thing that you
look up.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Oh oh, well, we know that we know that revolvers
don't use silencers asterisk. We'll get to that in a second.
But like when you look up goofs online, it's like,
revolvers don't use silencers. This is a big goof in
the film. The thing is one revolver does. One revolver does,
and it's we We We use it as a Soviet
(32:58):
World War two reenactor, and it's the old revolver that
actually has a gas seal system in it so you
can't like hurt your fingers that actually the whole cylinder
moves forward and seals the bullet into the See if
Katie was here for this episode, we would be something
there talking about this, this eighteen ninety revolver. Anyway, the
(33:18):
point is is I had to stop the film at
this point to see if wait a second, is this
a screw up or is she using like anagaute revolver
with an improper silencer because silencers are kind of like
a hard thing to get a hold of for then
agout revolver.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
And that is one of the one pistol that would
actually make the noise that is shown on TV.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Yeah, if you go and find videos of a the
Gut revolver with a silencer attached to it, it is
the closest to what you would see in a movie
Silence You're in the movie, Yeah that that you know,
it's really quiet. But most of the time, if you
fired a silence weapon, it's still very loud. Right, it's
(34:01):
not like what they show in the movies. Then the
Gaunt Revolver is a little different than that. Let's put
it that.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
But it wasn't It was a cult.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
No, it's a it's a Smith and Wesson.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Oh, it's a smith.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
It was a Smith and Wess. So it is a
screw up. It is a screw up. But the point
is is that I had to stop the movie for
a second and when I went, okay, hold on, wait
a second, is that an a Gaunt revolver just with
an improper silencer.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
But at least they didn't film the the revolver straight
down the barrels.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
See it had it had no rounds. But did you
The one thing I did note is whenever she fired it,
she never fired more than six shots, and then there
was always time where she could have reloaded it. I
will give the movie credit for that. I will do that.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Okay, Well that's something that they've gotten.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Revolver doesn't have seven rounds. It has seven round cylinder,
and you.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
Can't get them out without taking about fifteen.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Minutes just sitting there poking the shells out, because again,
the cylinder doesn't come out. It moves forward. Anyway, it's
a very strange revolver. Again, Katie, if you're listening, I
know that you could say a whole bunch of things here,
But anyway, what together. Cia Guy gets shot in the
back and killed and thrown into the apartment complex's pool. Again.
(35:13):
All of this is taking place at night against a
blue sky and stark shadows.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
And there's no blood, no blood, no.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
The only blood that we ever see is that bright
red paint paint.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
That's the beginning.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
My notes here become fragmentary because of how boring the
movie is. I wrote down the day for night shots
are terrible. CIA Guy runs out of AMMO and head
butts agon. Satana shoots him dead six times. At doctor
DeMarco's lab, a random woman in a snake skinned bikini
(35:50):
is strapped to a table and menaced by the assistant.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Oh in her top.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
I thought her top was improperly fit because the way
she's strapped this table, it makes it look like the
top is like three times three sizes too small, or that.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
They've stuffed it three times too much.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
Yes, you know what I mean, right like yeah?
Speaker 1 (36:14):
And it's also she's got her arms up and she's struggling.
Speaker 3 (36:18):
So it does not look comfortable.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
And this woman that is uh on the stretcher, there
is no reason for her.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
No, there isn't except that there's a little bit of
underboob that you see. That's the only reason I think
she's there.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Well, there's also the case where the doctor Marcos or
whatever his name is, goes, you need to stop your project.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
And yeah, he's just over there menacing her. But here's
the thing, Like he goes over there with the kool
aid buckets. So I think he's wanting to drain her
blood to be used in the astro zombie project. I
don't know. I don't know. Back at CIA headquarters, they say, boy,
there's two dead agents, both dead at the same location.
(37:06):
Maybe they were onto something.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Well, there was a timeline, I guess finding that guy
that had the tape. That was a clue into.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
What astroscience conference seems to have a lot of people
who have died.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yes, that's WHEREVER think.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Astro men are being made and tested. And the only
brains that doctor de Marcos could use before he disappeared
were from dead criminal mass murderers. Boy, I do so
now he thinks that like there's this nurse that was
(37:42):
killed at the lab, the dark haired nurse that I
kind of mentioned briefly before. I don't know when she
was killed. It was at some point before this. I
didn't write it down. I was bored. They think that
maybe the astro zombie is coming and hunting anyone involved
in the astro Zombie project and is coming back to
the lab to hunt people. So Janine now needs to
(38:03):
go and act as bait.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Janine is another lab now.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
No no, Janie goes back to the normal lab.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Oh, and she's supposed to look out the window and
blah blah, blah blah and until she gets home that
the astro.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
The astro zombie attacks are at home. But we have
to go through ten minutes of watching Janine piss away
her time at the lab and do nothing.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Look at in a microscope that you get in in
high school.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
I then she gets attacked at home, and Paulson is
an idiot because her lights don't work, so he goes
outside to the funeral.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
This is the worst day for nights chot that I
have ever seen seen.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
So he goes outside to check the fuse box. She's
attacked inside by the astro zombie. She's screaming her head off.
He does nothing. He's still messing with the and we
see him from entering around with the fuse box, and
it keeps happening. She's screaming. This guy's like tearing out.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
And daylight is hitting the bushes so.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
So, and he's holding the flashlight there trying to see
into the fusebox because it's just too damn dark and the.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
Sun was glaring ony.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
This goddamn movie. Finally he hears her screaming and goes,
oh my God, and then runs off and he gets
into a fight with the astro zombie in side. Now,
I will say that that fight looked pretty good, because
I don't think that fight was supposed to happen that way,
because it looks like they actually threw themselves into that
(39:42):
folding door for the closet too hard.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
They broke it.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
They broke it. It actually did. It looked like a
legitimate folding door.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
It looks like they might have done this in an
apartment building, in somebody's apartment, somebody's apartment, and broke.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
And broke the door legitimately. But in the fight, in
the fight, a tiny flashlight battery casing gets knocked off
the astro zombie, and the astro zombie now doesn't have
any backup charge, so he grabs the flashlight and holds
it to his head to run back to the lab
because that's the only way he can keep going.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
We see i'd say two minutes to three minutes of
him running. You know, it goes back and forth, but
there's a lot of seeing this ridiculous guy running with
this mask and a flashlight tucked to his head.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
Right like, okay, look, the end of the movie is
everyone kind of figures out where the astro zombie is going.
I put away my notes. Astro Zombie goes back to
this mansion where doctor Marcos is in the basement. Satana
like shoots everybody. The CIA agents come in. They deal
with the astro zombies as best as they can. Finally,
(40:52):
all the astro zombies are kind of like dead after
being shut down. Satana gets thrown into like a breaker
box and fries. The end.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
I did say on this scene, I go, that's a
nice retro Tudor house.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
No no, I I agree with that. I agree with that.
So let's let's what worked. The burlesque scene. The credits
made me smile. That's it. And the mask, the mask,
the astro zombie mask. That's it. Do you think can
you think of anything else that worked in this movie? No,
(41:32):
Everything else about this movie firmly falls into it did
not work firmly. And except for okay, I'll make average average.
I'll say the acting overall was average. For everybody, it
was average. Some of them fell into the it did
not work, but overall the acting. If I had to
make a like acting, it's it's average.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
I would actually say the main the person that got
paid the most.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
Did not John Carodine. John Carrodine phoned it in. Every
scene he was in was entirely wasted and pointless. You
could literally remove every single scene with John Krodine except
the last one where everybody dies, and it does not
change the movie one iota, not one that's shocking. You
(42:24):
could remove. You could remove almost every scene at CIA headquarters.
I think almost every I think every scene you could
remove and it would not change the story.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Like well, the first thing you'd have to do in
this movie is decide what it is?
Speaker 3 (42:43):
It Okay, if I had if I had to say
what this movie was more than anything else, it's a
spy thriller because the science fiction is so pointless in garbage.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
And that would be fine, a spy thriller that actually
has a scientific point where somebody wants to steal.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
This technology, this technology of like mind control. They're bringing bodies,
they're like reanimating bodies for like limited time as like assassins.
That could have been really cool, like, look, we don't
even need a man cheering candiate, We don't even need
to brainwash people. We can just bring a corpse back
for like twelve hours and control them with this helmet
or whatever, and they'll go in and kill whoever we want.
(43:28):
And you can shoot them as many times, it doesn't matter.
They won't die. They're already dead. That's actually kind of
a cool idea.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
Right, And the mask would be the control thing on
the dead corpse.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
That could be cool right there.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
You'd have the police in on trying to find out
what's going on with all these grave robberies or.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
Yeah, or like bodies are disappearing from like car wrecks, And.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
It wouldn't be the CIA, would be the FBI.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
I don't know, Yeah, it shouldn't be the CIA here,
It shouldn't it shouldn't. It should be the FBI. But like,
let's say, yeah, I think that would have been a
much better movie. But you don't. I don't know. There's
so much wrong with this movie. You can't. You can't
just say you would change one thing, like the basic
(44:20):
concept of the movie of like a dead body being
reanimated with like cybernet x or whatever. That's fine. It's
just that everything else around it is such garbage. When
you have the little side pieces like oh, this burlesque dance.
That's really cool that I can sit there and focus
and we can focus on talking about the burlesque dance.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
But that could have been a mistaken though.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
They could have just been like, oh, there's a burlesque
dance happening while we're filming at the nightclub today, let's
film it. Ooops, it's a mistake. At this point for
this film, I don't think I could discount it now
there are I will say this, We're done talking about
this movie. I'm done because we don't recommend We don't
recommend it. What's you're out of ten?
Speaker 1 (45:07):
Two?
Speaker 3 (45:08):
Two? I agree this is a two out of ten.
It is not the worst film we have seen. Believe
it or not. It still is not the worst movie
we've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
It isn't because the my one that makes me so angry.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
Creeping terror, terror, and to me, it's not. It's nowhere
near as offensive as like the Rocket Attack USA or
Invasion USA. It's this is bad. It's just not good.
There are three sequels to this written and directed by
the same person. I might watch them out of spite,
but we're not going to remove We're not going to
(45:44):
review them. He might, I won't, that's fair, but I
want to see if the director writer improved at all,
because the sequels aren't like a couple of years afterwards,
like this is nineteen sixty eight. I think the first
sequel was like two thousand and eight, so it's a
very different time period. He clearly had a lot of
(46:07):
time to grow and learn. But I'm gonna leave it there.
I'm sorry if this came across as too negative. We
truly did not like this movie, and it's rare that
we get a movie that we did not like this much.
You complained immediately watching this movie.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
And yet everything was going on and I had no
it didn't connect, nothing, nothing connected in the beginning of
the It.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
Makes sense to me in a certain way, like the intro,
Like the first ten minutes, I understood what they were
trying to set up. I got it. Was it competently done,
of course not, of course not, but I got it.
It was very rapid fire switching scenes and then spouting babble,
(46:53):
but okay, I got it.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
Then it slowed down to a craw.
Speaker 3 (46:57):
And it was just a crawl for the rest of
the movie. And most of it was a pointless crawl
that you could leave the room for five, six, seven
minutes at a time and come back and not have
missed anything. So I will leave it there. Hopefully our
next film that we review will like a little bit more.
We have reviewed films very recently that we have actually
(47:19):
really liked. So's it's a crap shoot. It's crapshoot with us.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
I'm eron, I'm Darlene.
Speaker 3 (47:26):
Good evening, you keep watching the Skies. At no point
in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to
anything that could be considered a rational thought.
Speaker 4 (47:38):
Thanks for listening to this episode of This Week in
Geek Hungry For more, check out our website. If this
Week in Geek dot Net you can subscribe to the podcast,
browse our Twitter and Instagram, and leave your thoughts on
today's topics. If you'd like to give us some feedback,
send us an email at Feedback at This Week in
geek dot net. Tune in next time, and remember.
Speaker 3 (47:57):
Lower your shields and surrender your listeners.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
We would be honored if you would join us.
Speaker 3 (48:03):
Thank you for your cooperation.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Good night,
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