September 11, 2025 • 44 mins
Aaron and Darlene watch some classic sci-fi from the 1950s and '60s, good and bad. They talk about what makes these films memorable and fun, and if you should take a trip back in time and enjoy these films as well.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
But aren't you fellows ever positive only about doomsday?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
What could be worse than disappointing a little girl disappointing
a big girl.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I have other ways of securing your cooperation. Sorry, miss
I was giving myself an oil job.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
When was it just azumbly as we've seen attitude to
it since we gave to a few low cabbages.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
An intellectual carrot. That mind boggles you see you see
your stupid lives.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Stupid, stupid, I said Santa Claus. Long enough, we will.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Bring him to Mars.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
I've been afraid a lot of times in my life,
but I didn't know the real meaning of fear until
until I kiss peck me.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
One thing will be clear. It's not from man to
interfere in the ways of God's life.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Earth Versus Soup, Episode
two seventy three. I'm Aaron Polier, I'm Darling. We watched
an interesting movie today, and it's one that's actually in
a series of movies that I don't think we've ever
seen any of them, and I think we might have to.
I don't know if we'll cover them all. I know
that we'll go back and watch some of the ones,
(01:29):
because this isn't the first one in a series of movies,
but it seems like it's the one that I've found
the easiest.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
This is the third This is the third.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Movie, and it's called Assignment Terror from nineteen seventy.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
It is Spanish, German, Italian horror.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Okay, So you automatically have something in your head when
you hear Spanish, Italian, whatever, Spanish, Italian, German horror.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
It's Spanish, West Germany, Italian and Spanish, okay. In West
Germany it was aired, it was shown on February twenty fourth,
nineteen seventy, but in Spain it didn't get run until
(02:19):
August twenty eighth, nineteen seventy.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
One, probably because Franco had some problems with it at
some point. I don't know. This is mostly filmed in Spain.
There there is like one time that we see something
that was filmed in West Germany one time, like very
very briefly. And this is, as I said, a one
(02:46):
of a series of films. Because it turns out that
there's an actor named Paul Nashy. I think that's how
you pronounce his last name. I apologize if it isn't
and he basically played the same care which is a werewolf,
in multiple movies. This is the third one. But there's
(03:07):
like a whole lot of Spanish horror films that were
done by this director, writer, actor, where they it's almost
like Spain had their own Hammer horror. But this is
a part of it. Now, I've never seen this before.
It did have some well known actors and actresses in
(03:30):
it that we have seen, the top build being Michael Rannie.
You might know him from such films as The Day
the Earth Stood Still and the Rocky Horror Picture Show
Theme Song. He is an amazing actor. He is older
here than he was in Day the Earth Stood Still.
(03:52):
We also have Karen Dorr who was in Thunderball. Correct,
she's a bond girl in Thunderball. Remember, we've seen her
in a couple movies now, and I think she was
in one of the Hammer movies that we watch. But
obviously we recognized her right away. I'm like, oh, there's
Karen Torr. Other than that, this was like going into
(04:17):
a film completely un like with without any expectations. I
didn't know what to expect. The the the movie poster
looked great, That's all I knew and it meant that
I wanted to watch it because I saw Michael Rainey
and the movie poster has a woman running away from Frankenstein, Wolfman,
a Mummy, and Dracula and boyle boy, I got a
(04:44):
movie that has all those things in it.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
One of the things that we need to mansion is
there's so many names to this movie. Okay, Assignment Terror
is the American Lane, one of the American Okay, I
think Love Montrose Dell Terror or the Monsters of Terror.
Then it was also done as Frankenstein versus Dracula, okay,
(05:15):
which is opposite to Dracula versus Frankenstein, which is a
different film, which is a different film here in the
United States.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Yeah, that's why they had to switch it. Okay, switched it.
Oh and are those old the names or is there still?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
It's just part of them. The next thing I wrote
was so many names.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Okay. The other thing that I think we we should
also mention is that we we got this on to
B for free. Awesome. So and the I would say
that the transfer was pretty darn good. So let's talk
about the plot.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Well, there's eighty five minutes and it was about one
million dollars.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
One million dollar budget. Really, this was a million dollars.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
And it was originally language Spanish.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
This was a million dollars.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
That's what it said.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I question it. Maybe not. This seemed that seems very
high budget for this movie with what we got. That
being said, there is some stuff that looks pretty darn
expensive in it.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
And there's two or three different countries that they were in.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Yeah, so I don't know. Let's talk about the plot.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
One other thing we didn't do is the co directors,
the Hugo friend Gonzi quit midway through.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Okay, there's a couple of people that quit midway through.
I have no idea. Why do you You wrote.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
It down that they That's all I got was they
quit in them So.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
I don't know. We're coming at this blind, folks. Let's
let's talk about the plot, okay, and then we can
talk about what we liked and what we did we didn't.
We begin the movie with images of two dead people
that are dead. I mean, we just learned that they
were killed somehow someway and a voice says that they
(07:09):
have been used as vessels for a plan. And we
see Michael Rainey and we see credits and there is
silly groovy music with monsters happening. Now, this intro was
very simple, but it immediately made me think, you're using
dead bodies for a nefarious plan? Are you ripping off
(07:33):
Plan nine from outer space? If you're ripping off Plan
nine from outer space, let's be fair about it, I'll
probably still enjoy the movie. Did they rip off Plan
nine from outer Space?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
No?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
No, they didn't, So I was happy. I was happy.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Oh and the music changed midway in the credits.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, and then went back to it changes. Yeah. It's weird,
isn't it.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
It was just like there's this moment that it was
a different dog One music.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Okay, so we see Michael Rainey walking with Karen Door.
Now we learned that their names, at least their human
names were doctor Odo Warnoff, Doctor Odo Wow okay, and
Maliva Kirstein. And throughout my notes, I kept writing down
(08:22):
Kierenstein because of the hammer horror things. And they're walking
through like a fair a carnival of some carnival, and
he says they need to take the Earth intact. They're
invading the Earth. They need to take their the Earth
intact because their planet is freezing, and they have yet
haven't yet figured out how to build an artificial sun.
(08:46):
And this is where I immediately immediately stopped the movie,
and I said, this is already logically falling apart. And
it's because I generally will admit to thinking that ninety
nine percent of alien invasion plots are complete nonsense. If
(09:07):
you need a resource, if you need any kind of resource,
you can get it easier anywhere else in the universe
without having to invade a planet and risk your people's
lives and your equipment.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Did they take the Mondos Oh, Mandas Mandas.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
I don't know, I don't know what you're talking about.
All I know what Mandas is, Darlene.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
But the Cybermen, they were free starting to freeze because
their world was going away from.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Yeah, but they built engines on their world to move
it around, right, So why didn't they just move it
closer to the Sun. I don't know, I don't know,
all right, So anyway, they're invading Earth. They have bodies
on their planet, but they're able to like transfer their consciousnesses.
So if they're able to transfer their consciousnesses.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Why don't they just create a computer?
Speaker 3 (10:00):
And well, this is more of like why don't you
just clone bodies on a planet that no one is
on and inhabit them. Yes, that's ah okay, because they
already are admitting that there is a risk that the
humans are crazy psychopaths with violence, and we don't want
(10:22):
them using nuclear weapons, so we have to be subtle
about this. And their subtlety, their subtlety is unsubtle. And
it's because they decide that our plan must be to
either destroy or entirely dominate the human race. And their
(10:45):
plan in the end we'll get to it is they're
going to use humans' own fears against them. Okay, that
of itself, Okay, if you're wanting to take over the
Earth using human's own fears to scare them into submission,
I get it. So are we going to have the
(11:07):
stave Puff marshmallow Man march on New York City? That's
a fear? Are we going to have like, I don't know,
something that actually is frightening?
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Happened a pandemic?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
I mean no, no, no, They figure out that that
monsters are real Godzilla coming No, No, I mean that's the
Staypuff marshmallow Man. You chose the form of the destroyer.
They figure out monsters are real, so they're going.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
To well, that's where they're heading to right now. Is
that one of the carnies? I guess that's how you
call him.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Or there's a guy. There's a guy that does hypnosis
and reads fortunes.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
And he's got a what he called Dracula's remains.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
He has Dracula's remains. Okay, And again I had to
pause the movie because not at this point, Not at
this point he says he has Dracula's remains. He's all right, fine.
They're at a random fare in Spain and a guy.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I don't think this was taking place in Spain.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Very clearly in Spain, Oh yeah, and Malva goes in.
Karen Door goes, I'm gonna I'm gonna sleep with this
guy and I'm going to find out all his secrets.
So that night she goes in, she seduces the guy,
and we see a hand take the steak out of
Dracula's skeleton in his coffin and kill the fortune teller.
(12:42):
And then, in an incredibly cool effect, we see Dracula
actually starting to reform, like his eyes are like bulging
out of the skull sockets, as like goo starts to
like form around the bones. It was actually pretty cool.
I had to pause the movie at this point. This
is where I said I had to pause the movie again.
How in the hell does a random Carnie guy just
(13:07):
so happened to have the actual Dracula skeleton?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Well, it was claiming to be from the East.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Okay, how does he have Draculas skeleton?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
And how do they know it really is Dracula skeleton?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Yeah? I thought it wasn't.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Because at this point they haven't even found the cool
library book that they found that's basically Tobin's spirit eyed
and they tear out like certain pages. Remember, yes, I
know I'm making references to Ghostbusters a lot in this is.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
There's a little note that I have here. Bought a
monastery for a lab.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Yeah, yeah, they bought a monastery for a lab. I
don't know any they're doing stuff. They're doing stuff. Okay,
So the skeleton disappears out of the coffin. Cops find
the dead fortune teller.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
He brings in us the steak and puts it in
the office and tells his supervisor that the remains disappeared.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Or are you trying to tell me that you know
this guy rose this skeleton came back from the dead
or whatever, and he's like, no, I'm just just bringing
the murder weapon there.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Sir, and the his his supervisor goes and don't bring
back vampires. I'm already a kneemic.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah, that, which is actually kind of funny. So we
have Michael Reenie hooking a blonde woman up to a
torture chair and the quote here is she shall be
the first of many beautiful women who shall do as
I wish. I'm like, oh, come on.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
You kept on all the way through the movie, going
and going Michael Wren.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
No, no, you're just to help us. This is right,
I know because he's such I mean, his role, his
role in What Daivi The Earth Stood Still is like
such a positive, uplifting kind of performance.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Like is there any good people in this movie?
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Technically the cops. The cops are actually pretty good. They're
good people. They're good people. Sorry for Darlne, Rustling and
Linger notes. So the inspector goes to a bookstore asking
for a very rare author because he just so happens
to know the e we use that. We use the
phrase just so happens a lot in this movie.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Okay, I will give him the credit for this one.
This wasn't now first, you wouldn't have been able to
check this dog One book out because it's an old
book and all of those books in that library.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Were He's looking for a very rare author and a
very rare illuminated text.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
These are from like.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
The fourteen hundreds, the thirty.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, they're not bound like you. I mean, here you
see books and you see the whole library.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
The book itself makes no sense, and I'll explain why.
I'll explain why. It's it looks like an old illuminated
text which suggests medieval era, but it specifically has information
in there about the Mummy, which wouldn't have been able
to be figured out until like the late eighteen hundreds.
(16:31):
You have information in there about They don't use the
term Frankenstein. They use a random other name for doctor Frankenstein.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Except that I called it Frankenstein's creature.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Yeah, but that like that was in the eighteen hundreds.
There's information in there about this specific werewolf that's in
this movie, even though that would have been like from
the nineteen sixties. Then there's Dracula, which okay, fine, I
(17:03):
don't give a shit at that point. The point is
the book itself is a paradox, like it cannot exist.
Yet the only reason the movie happens is that it
has to exist.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
And there's certain pages that are tore out of.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
It because the aliens, because these are aliens invading, tore
them out so no one else could find it. Yet
they left the rest of the goddamn book there enough
that everyone else can figure out what the hell they're doing.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
And the inspector gets to take it home. This is
not a book that you would have been able to
take it at home.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
And they killed one of the librarians, leaving the body
behind to make sure everyone knew that there was something
fishy about this book. The aliens or are already completely
They're completely off the reservation. They're completely gone, completely gone,
(17:56):
they've lost their minds. So u boys. They actually tore
out the pages specifically dealing with the Frankenstein monster, but
left everything else there. But do the aliens then deal
with the other monsters that they never took the information about. Yeah, okay, so.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Because the next thing is a surgery, isn't it?
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Well okay, yes, So we have Michael Rainey and Karen
dor as Maliva robbing German graves. They open up the
grave of the werewolf. A cemetery guard comes in, they
kill him. Of course, Michael Rainey knows everything there is
(18:39):
to know about a werewolf, and we get to learn
new werewolf rules. How to kill a werewolf, Darlene, how
do you kill a werewolf in this movie?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
You have to use a silver bowler.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
It has to be a silver bullet specifically.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
And it has to be someone that loves you and.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Is willing to die, fired by a woman who loves
you and is willing to die with you.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Okay, And the problem with this is they're supposed to
be female werewolves too.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Yeah. So that's not to say that women can't love
other women. That's just now all these questions start to
come up. What happened before silver bullets? Yeah, and you go,
this isn't inherited. That's not inherited silver. And you're like, well,
they didn't mention it silver. But it turns out it
(19:34):
was inherited because it was made from silver that like
the werewolf gave gave her later on in the movie.
I don't know, so I guess you could consider that,
like inherited from I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Anyway, they do surgery and they pull out the silver
bullet that was in.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
His heart, and he just because he's not permanently dead
because the woman who shot him didn't die, didn't love him,
or didn't love him.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Because he's married to someone else that's in the in
the thing.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Okay, so he's not permanently dead. He's just mostly dead.
So if they remove the bullet from him, he'll come
right back, and he does. He's like, what what's going on?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
And then he kills four women?
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Yeah he does, doesn't he?
Speaker 1 (20:22):
So? And the fifth one he's going after a girlfriend
that I gotta laugh, is with a boyfriend and he's
she sends the boyfriend. He's she's in his car. Yeah,
she sends the boyfriend to get her shawl that she forgot,
and because the werewolf attacks her, she drives off with
(20:44):
his car.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Yeah. She's just like, screw this gone done? No, you know,
here's here's what's weird again? Another like, I think there's
something wrong with this movie. The plot is that all
throughout this movie they're shooting up the werewolf with like
drugs to keep him under control. And does it.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Work ever, no, no, it shouldn't.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
It doesn't yet they seemingly think it does, even though
he gets out all the time and kills women.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
And he go. And then after that, after she drives off,
what I thought was a prostitute turns out not to
be a prostitute. It was just a woman that came
out of a strip club.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
I don't know. It wasn't a strip club. It was
just a club.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
And it's waiting for a ride.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Yeah, yeah, he gets she just like gets murdered, right
like that, that's the murder. But like, I don't know,
there's Yeah, it's it's Beatnick dancing at beat Nick groovy
music dancing at a club. And oh yeah, we have
we have the alien who has been the doctor Warnoff okay,
(21:57):
played by Michael Rainey keeps this movie. Throughout movie, he
has been mentioning that emotion and passion have no place
for us. We are above this, We've evolved past this.
But what does he do every night? Supposedly he goes
to the beating at Groovy Music club and dances with
hot chicks, and it's.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Kind of okay it it would be like me and
Aaron going to a young people's.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Disco a disco techno. It just why did you even
use the word disco, Darley, We're not that old where
we go. Those those crazy kids in their new Even.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
When I was over there in the late eighties early nineties,
they called their dance halls disco tech.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
I know, but it would be more like us going
to like a college like binge drinking club that everyone
drops ecstasy and like.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
It wasn't that bad.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
No. But in comparison, here you have Michael Rainey, who's
who's like in his late fifties, going to this hippie
beatnik and everyone everyone's like doing drugs in there, and
he just hangs out. But then the cops show up
and he just turns around and walks away, and they're
all looking for him.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
And the the reason why we know is because the
inspector goes to investigate about the girl that was that
disappeared because of the werewolf. Yeah, and somebody in the
I did not know who they are, mentions this guy
comes around all the time.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Yeah. So if and I have to apologize to the
listeners here, if it's not making a whole lot of
sense the plot, it's because it it doesn't a lot
of the plot just does not make sense. It's just
kind of scene after scene where there isn't a ton
of connection. There is some like there is the overarching
story that's going on. It's not that great, but there
(24:01):
isn't a lot of connection between scenes, at least easily
explainable connections between scenes.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
It has the feel of instead of having kid you,
you have monsters, monsters, human like monsters.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yes, and they all have to be showcased.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
And they all have to be showcased, and we yes,
Darlene Corrap, you made me forget.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
I made you forget. I was waiting for you to talk.
So at the Castle, we have doctor Warnoff now testing
a hypnotic truth sound wave that makes people tell the truth.
He then tortures the same blonde woman that he's been
torturing throughout this entire movie, and it just makes her
scream and pain. It doesn't make her tell the truth.
It just makes her scream.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Oh, I was gonna say the werewolf. Uh when he
they kept adding more hair to transform it looked.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
We'll get to that when we get to the what
works and what doesn't. We're still talking about the plot
thought okay, yeah, no, the makeup, the werewolf makeup in
this is actually really good, so good. We find out
that the Mummy has been found. Now we then we
we then jump we don't go to get to the
mummy yet, hold on, d we don't go to the
(25:23):
mummy right away. We then cut away from them going, oh,
the Mummy has been found, because they the people, the
aliens on earth, didn't find the mummy. It's the aliens
light years away that found where the mummy was and
told them where it was. Because it's too much effort
for the aliens here on earth to actually do a
damn thing except torture blonde women in a in an
(25:45):
electric chair.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Well, we got a t W A air t.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
W A product placement and willis jeep and it's because
everyone's talking about Well, we have a whole scene even
before that, where the cops are talking to this woman
who got away from the werewolf the like, questioning her.
She's played by Patty Shepherd, by the.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Way, and she's the love interest.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
She's the love interest of the inspector. Yes, but whatever
happened to her boyfriend that she left behind, I have
no idea. Okay, So the aliens break into the Egyptian
tomb to unleash the Mummy. And I even wrote down
here in my notes the mummies makeup is pretty damn good.
The Mummy murders a guy for no reason, while doctor
(26:26):
Warnoff watches it all on television because I guess now
there's a television camera in the mummies tomb. I don't know.
Back at the castle, we have hold on. We have
an Earth versus Soup first, an Earth versus Soup first,
(26:47):
and it's a first in such a way as that
we both screamed. We went holy crap because a guy
gets blood drawn for real on screen. Normally you don't
see that. Normally you have like fake needles going into
people's arms to have blood drawn. This was a real
(27:08):
blood being drawn. You could see the needle going under
the skin and into the vein, and oh we have
I mean, okay, we've all seen that, we've all had
blood drawn, but normally you don't get to watch that enclose.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Up with those big damn needles with.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
A big horse needle. Oh god, Oh my god. So
they're actually drawing the blood from Dracula because I guess
they're wanting to contaminate human blood to make more Draculas.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
But his makeup is weird.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Okay, the Dracula dude gray blue weird. He does not
look like a typical vampire. He looks like he is
made of stone, almost like just gray and not stone
in a good way. This looks like he has gray
makeup on rather than like pale skin. It's gray. He
(28:09):
also has mind tricks. So Malvina gets the whammy put
on her at least a few times during this movie.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Yeah, so the main character, doctor warn Off. Warn Off
actually knocked the knocks her knocked and knocks her back
into her senses.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
I think I can explain Meliva's weirdness to the rest
of the movie as just her having the brain scramblies
because of all the times that Dracula puts the whammy
on her in this movie. So let's see here. Dracula
walks the castle at night. He grabs Malvina again to drainer. Uh,
we have an alien come in and and stops her.
(28:50):
It stops him again. H let's see here. This is
This is the non doctor warn Off alien. They hug,
then they resurrect Frankenstein and Frankenstein walks slowly to the
werewolf to choke him out.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Doesn't kill him because and he's told to by doctor.
Is like a test, Yeah, as some kind of test.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
But you can't kill the werewolf by choking him because
it's not a silver bullet fired by a woman who
loves you and wishes to die with you.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
And here's the bad one, Frankenstein. Here is Frankenstein's creature
has the guy has too much plaster of Paris on
his face and he can't even open his eyes.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
I think that I still firmly believe that is not true,
that that is a choice that he keeps his eyes
closed because of what Boris Karloff did in the original Frankenstein,
where the makeup was too heavy and it looked like
his eyes were almost all the way closed throughout it didn't.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
It looked like somebody used plaster or something.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
The aliens think it was a very cruel test, except
for doctor Warnoff. But Warnoff says, you know what, screw off,
I'm in charge.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Here and we shouldn't have this emotions.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
And we shouldn't have emotions. Now, cops start finding bodies
stashed in cryptol over the place, because I guess there's
lots of women that have been killed by the werewolf.
Then we have another weird quote, and this is an
interaction between the werewolf and Malvina. The werewolf asks why
(30:26):
are you helping me? And Malvina says, I don't know,
maybe because I'm a woman. And I again pause the
movie and just looked at you, Darlene, because I'm like,
I don't know how to take this.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Well. The blonde lab lady runs off with the werewolf
and Malvina and the male lab tech have sex.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Yes they do.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
We don't until until doctor warn Off comes sends Frankenstein's
creature to kill.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
And he does kill the mail Yes, so Frankenstein chokes
that guy out, kills him, then just walks calmly away.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
It doesn't send it to kill both of them, Nope.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Then Malvina is hooked into the torture chair and warn
Off like electrocutes her as torture and she's just.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Call it an electric shop therapy. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
Yeah. So then we have the werewolf and the blonde
blonde woman meeting in the ruins and they come up
with a murder suicide packed with the silver bullet. At
least that's what I call it. A murder suicide packed
all the way through the rest of my notes. We
learned that they all come from the planet Umu from
fourteen light years away. Warnoff admits to everything to the cops.
(31:40):
When the cops show up at the monastery, He's like, yeah, we're.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Gonna manufacture monsters.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
To scare all of you into submission, and we're invading
the earth, and my god, so Dracula roams around the
rooms around the castle. Cop stakes Dracula, we have the.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
The stupidest thing, Doctor warn Off uh with The inspector
catches him yeah, and tells him he's he's going to
chain him up and the bats are going to eat
off his eyes and.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
It's really the top like the mummy stalks Ilsa, Okay,
did you?
Speaker 1 (32:21):
And what my thought was was was I wanted to
scream like what's his name? And we'll get the gun
and then we get shoot him together.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Oh, Scott evil, Scott evil. Look, I have a gun
in my room and that's all.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
That went through my head at the bats.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
You just don't get it, do you, Darlene. No, I
do not get it, all right. So Ilsa the the
dark haired woman who ditched her boyfriend because the werewolf
attacked her and she stole his car. She's been kidnapped.
The Mummy stalks her and I wrote down my notes.
You know what, the Mummy doesn't really seem that that
bad of a dude, doesn't really seem that hostile. He's
(33:06):
just lost. He's not in his tomb anymore. Ilsa just
is sort of there. Yeah, I mean he's pretty creepy.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Oh oh, is this where we get Torquamana's torture chamber.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Yeah, we get the big hamster wheel of death. But
that's where they throw the Mummy in the hamster wheel
and set him on fire. Yes, yeah, that's actually so
we have.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
The only thing that I could think of is I
was like, wow, this is a monastery in Spain. This
must have beenas.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Here's the thing that blonde alien woman sees the Mummy
getting tossed into the hamster wheel and set on fire,
and her reaction will I will put this down to
bad acting or bad direction her. The impression that I
got was she's turned on by the Mummy burning itself
(33:56):
into cinders. Like that's what it looked like. It was
that she was herned on by it. Wolfman and Frankenstein
fight in the light in the lab Frankie dies from electrocution.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Yeah, that's how he's woke up.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
He's cowered by it. It gives him life. Wow, didn't
you read the source material? Yes, cops have surrounded the monastery.
What are they gonna do at this point? I mean,
I don't know. Uh So the aliens from the Home
world say, you know what, I think this plan kind
(34:31):
of sucks. You've clearly lost the You've clearly lost where
you're going here.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Michael Rainey, the werewolf gets gets shot by his blondie
and then where the were wolf is killed by her,
and then he kills her and in.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
His like last moments, and she's like, oh thank god,
I'm dead and falls over. The aliens are like, dude,
you've screwed up, and Warnoff says, you know what, Yeah,
I think I did. Humans are way too strong. The
Monus story blows up, but like Melvina just fades away,
like she was beamed away or something, and and monastery.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Blows up and he burns to nothing.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Yeah, he just burns up like willingly. And then the
cops and Ilsa kiss, the cop that is our main
character kiss the end. The plot is utter shit, But
I love this movie. And and and and the thing is,
I'll tell you what works, what works. Let's go with
(35:30):
what works first, Darling, you're giving me a look the makeup,
especially the Mummy and werewolf makeup, Frank ste I'm saying specifically.
I was very impressed with the Mummy makeup and the
werewolf makeup I liked.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Okay, And the Dracula makeup was like he should have been.
I you know, I kept on thinking this is I
had to go this is Dracula not a gargoyle. Yeah,
because he looked like a gargoyle.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Okay. So I liked parts of the makeup. Some of
the other makeup was shit. I liked some of the acting,
and some of the acting was shit. Okay, because I
actually liked Michael Rainey. Even though he was like chewing
the scenery, he still had that that charm.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
He wasn't no, this was like his He was just.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
Paul Nashy as the Werewolf, acted his heart out and
I freaking loved it.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yes he did.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
I freaking loved it.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
But I really think Michael Rainey didn't really.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
It isn't peak Michael Rainey.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
It's like he didn't care too well.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
Oh, this was clearly a paycheck. I will give him that.
But like Karen Dora's Maliva, she did a great job.
Patty Shepherd Iszilsa did a great job. The inspector did
a great job. That's that's Craig Hill playing the inspector.
I think he actually did a pretty darn good job.
(36:58):
The plot, though overall, clearly doesn't work. It's just nonsense.
But with even that said, the scenes by themselves, there
are many scenes in this movie that, taken as a scene,
are actually pretty well framed and executed right. It's just
(37:19):
that they're not put together in a coherent way. It's
really difficult to talk about what truly works in this
movie and what doesn't work, because, as we've already said,
a lot of it is both. It works in some
parts and really falls apart in others. Is there anything
that you can specifically say that you really liked in
(37:39):
this movie, even if it's just one part of the
general category.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
I said, the wherewof makeup? I really liked that. And
like you said, the Mummy was really great. That would
be a great costume to.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Do really good, really good. And you know, here's the thing,
like the coloring of the makeup of the bummy was
clearly just very mono tone, but it didn't matter. With
the way they shot him and the way that he
kind of looked overall, it made sense. I don't know,
I love this movie because it's so bunkers. It's so
(38:15):
stupid that it suddenly becomes like I was laughing through
big parts of it. I was really recommended though you
can't see I recommend it. I recommend it.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
I can't. I can't recommend it. It's too chaotic for me.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
It fully because it's it's got the some.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Of the movies that I liked of of the Japanese
but Toho, Toho's Kaiju movies. This had the feeling of
that disconnected you had, you had all the all the monsters,
women was that monster destroy all monsters? It had that
(38:58):
flare to it. One of the two Yeah, where there's
all they're doing is showcasing monsters, but you get little
of the monsters.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Yeah, so very little of them. And I don't know,
it is chaos. It's chaos, I agree.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
And why have aliens thinking that they can use something
that we don't even think exist? Why would they even
do that? If I was an alien i'd question whether
of the existence of it.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Yes, I agree. None of it makes sense. None of
it makes sense. I am the first to admit it. Now,
if you asked me, out of ten, what would I
would give this? I would give this a solid four.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
That's about where I was.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
I this is a four. But I recommend it because
it is so dumb. It is it's fun, like, hey, look,
here's Michael Rainey, Here's here's Karen Door. We're just gonna
have freaking monsters and just weird nonsense all the way
through this movie. And there's blood. There's an actual blood,
(40:12):
blood being drawn from a person, which I never thought
i'd see.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Well, we can also write this, We're gonna need to
see one of the other movies we Are, we Are,
We're Gonna War, because this might be the fact that
their co director left and halfway through.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
And yeah, and then the director had to pick up pieces.
And I guarantee you that there was also problems with
like filming times. I'm sure there was, and then filming locations.
Now that being said, almost the entirety of this film
was filmed in Spain.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Yeah. And one of the other things that's really interesting
is the British promotional material showed elber Hard mechanerse.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
As I spelled it Eberhard Misshner. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Credit says as a director, as a co director, and
he never even did anything with the actual was even
actually involved in it. Okay, so it was probably one
of you know, that was probably to get English people
to watch it.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
I have no idea, I don't know. As I said,
I recommend it with the understanding that it is complete schlock.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
You said this would be easy for ms.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Oh, this would be an amazing MST three K because
there are long pauses after a lot of dialogue where
you can and I was doing it while watching it.
That's maybe why I really enjoyed it myself, is because
I could riff this movie hard myself. And I don't
know every time they were strapped in the chair and
(42:01):
like the time that Michael Rainey's like, yes, I have
the noise that makes you tell the truth. I shall
make you listen to it now, and I'm like, well,
that's gonna be the brown note. They're sitting in this
on this throne. Look, Darlene, that's exactly what they're trying
to say here, and you're giggling. I mean, the movie
it's asking for being riffed, but I'm not like making
(42:21):
fun of it because it's just it's it's so weird.
It's such a weird movie. We'll watch the other movies
in this. Maybe we'll cover them next time. I don't know,
like at least one of them next time. It might
be a good idea. I know that we have a
two seventy five episode coming up, and I kind of
want to do a classic for that, but these probably
(42:42):
wouldn't fit into the classics. But I don't know what
we're gonna do for that. There are universal films that
we have yet to cover that should fit there. But
we'll leave it there, folks. I hope you enjoyed. I
know this seems really really disconnected. The plot is it's
(43:03):
aliens are invading the Earth, using monsters.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Using a superstatious super.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
Superstitions to make urbans afraid.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
Or like Frankenstein is a fictional character.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
I know, But but all, why don't we have.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Why don't we have Sherlock Holmes?
Speaker 3 (43:21):
Then too, is Sherlock Holmes help.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Or or the more moriarity? If they really wanted to
try to take.
Speaker 3 (43:28):
Over the world, but next Gen already made. I know
this is before next Gen, but next Gen did Moriarty
as an actual villain and he came to life and
he is incredible. I don't know that character anyway. We'll
leave it there, folks, I'm eron, I'm darling. Good evening,
keep watching the skies. At no point in your rambling,
incoherent response were you even close to anything that could
(43:51):
be considered a rational thought.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Thanks for listening to this episode of This Week in Geek.
Hungry for more, check out our website if we can
geek dot net. You can subscribe to the podcast, browse
our Twitter and Instagram, and leave your thoughts on today's topics.
If you'd like to give us some feedback, send us
an email at Feedback at This Week in Geek dot Net.
Tune in next time, and remember, lower your shields and
(44:14):
surrender your listenership.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
We would be honored if you would join us. Thank
you for your cooperation.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Good night,
But aren't you fellows ever positive only about doomsday?
Speaker 2 (00:03):
What could be worse than disappointing a little girl disappointing
a big girl.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I have other ways of securing your cooperation. Sorry, miss
I was giving myself an oil job.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
When was it just azumbly as we've seen attitude to
it since we gave to a few low cabbages.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
An intellectual carrot. That mind boggles you see you see
your stupid lives.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Stupid, stupid, I said Santa Claus. Long enough, we will.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Bring him to Mars.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
I've been afraid a lot of times in my life,
but I didn't know the real meaning of fear until
until I kiss peck me.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
One thing will be clear. It's not from man to
interfere in the ways of God's life.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Good evening, everybody, and welcome to Earth Versus Soup, Episode
two seventy three. I'm Aaron Polier, I'm Darling. We watched
an interesting movie today, and it's one that's actually in
a series of movies that I don't think we've ever
seen any of them, and I think we might have to.
I don't know if we'll cover them all. I know
that we'll go back and watch some of the ones,
(01:29):
because this isn't the first one in a series of movies,
but it seems like it's the one that I've found
the easiest.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
This is the third This is the third.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Movie, and it's called Assignment Terror from nineteen seventy.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
It is Spanish, German, Italian horror.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Okay, So you automatically have something in your head when
you hear Spanish, Italian, whatever, Spanish, Italian, German horror.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
It's Spanish, West Germany, Italian and Spanish, okay. In West
Germany it was aired, it was shown on February twenty fourth,
nineteen seventy, but in Spain it didn't get run until
(02:19):
August twenty eighth, nineteen seventy.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
One, probably because Franco had some problems with it at
some point. I don't know. This is mostly filmed in Spain.
There there is like one time that we see something
that was filmed in West Germany one time, like very
very briefly. And this is, as I said, a one
(02:46):
of a series of films. Because it turns out that
there's an actor named Paul Nashy. I think that's how
you pronounce his last name. I apologize if it isn't
and he basically played the same care which is a werewolf,
in multiple movies. This is the third one. But there's
(03:07):
like a whole lot of Spanish horror films that were
done by this director, writer, actor, where they it's almost
like Spain had their own Hammer horror. But this is
a part of it. Now, I've never seen this before.
It did have some well known actors and actresses in
(03:30):
it that we have seen, the top build being Michael Rannie.
You might know him from such films as The Day
the Earth Stood Still and the Rocky Horror Picture Show
Theme Song. He is an amazing actor. He is older
here than he was in Day the Earth Stood Still.
(03:52):
We also have Karen Dorr who was in Thunderball. Correct,
she's a bond girl in Thunderball. Remember, we've seen her
in a couple movies now, and I think she was
in one of the Hammer movies that we watch. But
obviously we recognized her right away. I'm like, oh, there's
Karen Torr. Other than that, this was like going into
(04:17):
a film completely un like with without any expectations. I
didn't know what to expect. The the the movie poster
looked great, That's all I knew and it meant that
I wanted to watch it because I saw Michael Rainey
and the movie poster has a woman running away from Frankenstein, Wolfman,
a Mummy, and Dracula and boyle boy, I got a
(04:44):
movie that has all those things in it.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
One of the things that we need to mansion is
there's so many names to this movie. Okay, Assignment Terror
is the American Lane, one of the American Okay, I
think Love Montrose Dell Terror or the Monsters of Terror.
Then it was also done as Frankenstein versus Dracula, okay,
(05:15):
which is opposite to Dracula versus Frankenstein, which is a
different film, which is a different film here in the
United States.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Yeah, that's why they had to switch it. Okay, switched it.
Oh and are those old the names or is there still?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
It's just part of them. The next thing I wrote
was so many names.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Okay. The other thing that I think we we should
also mention is that we we got this on to
B for free. Awesome. So and the I would say
that the transfer was pretty darn good. So let's talk
about the plot.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Well, there's eighty five minutes and it was about one
million dollars.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
One million dollar budget. Really, this was a million dollars.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
And it was originally language Spanish.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
This was a million dollars.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
That's what it said.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I question it. Maybe not. This seemed that seems very
high budget for this movie with what we got. That
being said, there is some stuff that looks pretty darn
expensive in it.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
And there's two or three different countries that they were in.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Yeah, so I don't know. Let's talk about the plot.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
One other thing we didn't do is the co directors,
the Hugo friend Gonzi quit midway through.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Okay, there's a couple of people that quit midway through.
I have no idea. Why do you You wrote.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
It down that they That's all I got was they
quit in them So.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
I don't know. We're coming at this blind, folks. Let's
let's talk about the plot, okay, and then we can
talk about what we liked and what we did we didn't.
We begin the movie with images of two dead people
that are dead. I mean, we just learned that they
were killed somehow someway and a voice says that they
(07:09):
have been used as vessels for a plan. And we
see Michael Rainey and we see credits and there is
silly groovy music with monsters happening. Now, this intro was
very simple, but it immediately made me think, you're using
dead bodies for a nefarious plan? Are you ripping off
(07:33):
Plan nine from outer space? If you're ripping off Plan
nine from outer space, let's be fair about it, I'll
probably still enjoy the movie. Did they rip off Plan
nine from outer Space?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
No?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
No, they didn't, So I was happy. I was happy.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Oh and the music changed midway in the credits.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, and then went back to it changes. Yeah. It's weird,
isn't it.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
It was just like there's this moment that it was
a different dog One music.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Okay, so we see Michael Rainey walking with Karen Door.
Now we learned that their names, at least their human
names were doctor Odo Warnoff, Doctor Odo Wow okay, and
Maliva Kirstein. And throughout my notes, I kept writing down
(08:22):
Kierenstein because of the hammer horror things. And they're walking
through like a fair a carnival of some carnival, and
he says they need to take the Earth intact. They're
invading the Earth. They need to take their the Earth
intact because their planet is freezing, and they have yet
haven't yet figured out how to build an artificial sun.
(08:46):
And this is where I immediately immediately stopped the movie,
and I said, this is already logically falling apart. And
it's because I generally will admit to thinking that ninety
nine percent of alien invasion plots are complete nonsense. If
(09:07):
you need a resource, if you need any kind of resource,
you can get it easier anywhere else in the universe
without having to invade a planet and risk your people's
lives and your equipment.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Did they take the Mondos Oh, Mandas Mandas.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
I don't know, I don't know what you're talking about.
All I know what Mandas is, Darlene.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
But the Cybermen, they were free starting to freeze because
their world was going away from.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Yeah, but they built engines on their world to move
it around, right, So why didn't they just move it
closer to the Sun. I don't know, I don't know,
all right, So anyway, they're invading Earth. They have bodies
on their planet, but they're able to like transfer their consciousnesses.
So if they're able to transfer their consciousnesses.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Why don't they just create a computer?
Speaker 3 (10:00):
And well, this is more of like why don't you
just clone bodies on a planet that no one is
on and inhabit them. Yes, that's ah okay, because they
already are admitting that there is a risk that the
humans are crazy psychopaths with violence, and we don't want
(10:22):
them using nuclear weapons, so we have to be subtle
about this. And their subtlety, their subtlety is unsubtle. And
it's because they decide that our plan must be to
either destroy or entirely dominate the human race. And their
(10:45):
plan in the end we'll get to it is they're
going to use humans' own fears against them. Okay, that
of itself, Okay, if you're wanting to take over the
Earth using human's own fears to scare them into submission,
I get it. So are we going to have the
(11:07):
stave Puff marshmallow Man march on New York City? That's
a fear? Are we going to have like, I don't know,
something that actually is frightening?
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Happened a pandemic?
Speaker 3 (11:21):
I mean no, no, no, They figure out that that
monsters are real Godzilla coming No, No, I mean that's the
Staypuff marshmallow Man. You chose the form of the destroyer.
They figure out monsters are real, so they're going.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
To well, that's where they're heading to right now. Is
that one of the carnies? I guess that's how you
call him.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Or there's a guy. There's a guy that does hypnosis
and reads fortunes.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
And he's got a what he called Dracula's remains.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
He has Dracula's remains. Okay, And again I had to
pause the movie because not at this point, Not at
this point he says he has Dracula's remains. He's all right, fine.
They're at a random fare in Spain and a guy.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I don't think this was taking place in Spain.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Very clearly in Spain, Oh yeah, and Malva goes in.
Karen Door goes, I'm gonna I'm gonna sleep with this
guy and I'm going to find out all his secrets.
So that night she goes in, she seduces the guy,
and we see a hand take the steak out of
Dracula's skeleton in his coffin and kill the fortune teller.
(12:42):
And then, in an incredibly cool effect, we see Dracula
actually starting to reform, like his eyes are like bulging
out of the skull sockets, as like goo starts to
like form around the bones. It was actually pretty cool.
I had to pause the movie at this point. This
is where I said I had to pause the movie again.
How in the hell does a random Carnie guy just
(13:07):
so happened to have the actual Dracula skeleton?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Well, it was claiming to be from the East.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Okay, how does he have Draculas skeleton?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
And how do they know it really is Dracula skeleton?
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Yeah? I thought it wasn't.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Because at this point they haven't even found the cool
library book that they found that's basically Tobin's spirit eyed
and they tear out like certain pages. Remember, yes, I
know I'm making references to Ghostbusters a lot in this is.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
There's a little note that I have here. Bought a
monastery for a lab.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Yeah, yeah, they bought a monastery for a lab. I
don't know any they're doing stuff. They're doing stuff. Okay,
So the skeleton disappears out of the coffin. Cops find
the dead fortune teller.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
He brings in us the steak and puts it in
the office and tells his supervisor that the remains disappeared.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Or are you trying to tell me that you know
this guy rose this skeleton came back from the dead
or whatever, and he's like, no, I'm just just bringing
the murder weapon there.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Sir, and the his his supervisor goes and don't bring
back vampires. I'm already a kneemic.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah, that, which is actually kind of funny. So we
have Michael Reenie hooking a blonde woman up to a
torture chair and the quote here is she shall be
the first of many beautiful women who shall do as
I wish. I'm like, oh, come on.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
You kept on all the way through the movie, going
and going Michael Wren.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
No, no, you're just to help us. This is right,
I know because he's such I mean, his role, his
role in What Daivi The Earth Stood Still is like
such a positive, uplifting kind of performance.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Like is there any good people in this movie?
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Technically the cops. The cops are actually pretty good. They're
good people. They're good people. Sorry for Darlne, Rustling and
Linger notes. So the inspector goes to a bookstore asking
for a very rare author because he just so happens
to know the e we use that. We use the
phrase just so happens a lot in this movie.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Okay, I will give him the credit for this one.
This wasn't now first, you wouldn't have been able to
check this dog One book out because it's an old
book and all of those books in that library.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Were He's looking for a very rare author and a
very rare illuminated text.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
These are from like.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
The fourteen hundreds, the thirty.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, they're not bound like you. I mean, here you
see books and you see the whole library.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
The book itself makes no sense, and I'll explain why.
I'll explain why. It's it looks like an old illuminated
text which suggests medieval era, but it specifically has information
in there about the Mummy, which wouldn't have been able
to be figured out until like the late eighteen hundreds.
(16:31):
You have information in there about They don't use the
term Frankenstein. They use a random other name for doctor Frankenstein.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Except that I called it Frankenstein's creature.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Yeah, but that like that was in the eighteen hundreds.
There's information in there about this specific werewolf that's in
this movie, even though that would have been like from
the nineteen sixties. Then there's Dracula, which okay, fine, I
(17:03):
don't give a shit at that point. The point is
the book itself is a paradox, like it cannot exist.
Yet the only reason the movie happens is that it
has to exist.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
And there's certain pages that are tore out of.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
It because the aliens, because these are aliens invading, tore
them out so no one else could find it. Yet
they left the rest of the goddamn book there enough
that everyone else can figure out what the hell they're doing.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
And the inspector gets to take it home. This is
not a book that you would have been able to
take it at home.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
And they killed one of the librarians, leaving the body
behind to make sure everyone knew that there was something
fishy about this book. The aliens or are already completely
They're completely off the reservation. They're completely gone, completely gone,
(17:56):
they've lost their minds. So u boys. They actually tore
out the pages specifically dealing with the Frankenstein monster, but
left everything else there. But do the aliens then deal
with the other monsters that they never took the information about. Yeah, okay, so.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Because the next thing is a surgery, isn't it?
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Well okay, yes, So we have Michael Rainey and Karen
dor as Maliva robbing German graves. They open up the
grave of the werewolf. A cemetery guard comes in, they
kill him. Of course, Michael Rainey knows everything there is
(18:39):
to know about a werewolf, and we get to learn
new werewolf rules. How to kill a werewolf, Darlene, how
do you kill a werewolf in this movie?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
You have to use a silver bowler.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
It has to be a silver bullet specifically.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
And it has to be someone that loves you and.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Is willing to die, fired by a woman who loves
you and is willing to die with you.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Okay, And the problem with this is they're supposed to
be female werewolves too.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Yeah. So that's not to say that women can't love
other women. That's just now all these questions start to
come up. What happened before silver bullets? Yeah, and you go,
this isn't inherited. That's not inherited silver. And you're like, well,
they didn't mention it silver. But it turns out it
(19:34):
was inherited because it was made from silver that like
the werewolf gave gave her later on in the movie.
I don't know, so I guess you could consider that,
like inherited from I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Anyway, they do surgery and they pull out the silver
bullet that was in.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
His heart, and he just because he's not permanently dead
because the woman who shot him didn't die, didn't love him,
or didn't love him.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Because he's married to someone else that's in the in
the thing.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Okay, so he's not permanently dead. He's just mostly dead.
So if they remove the bullet from him, he'll come
right back, and he does. He's like, what what's going on?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
And then he kills four women?
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Yeah he does, doesn't he?
Speaker 1 (20:22):
So? And the fifth one he's going after a girlfriend
that I gotta laugh, is with a boyfriend and he's
she sends the boyfriend. He's she's in his car. Yeah,
she sends the boyfriend to get her shawl that she forgot,
and because the werewolf attacks her, she drives off with
(20:44):
his car.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Yeah. She's just like, screw this gone done? No, you know,
here's here's what's weird again? Another like, I think there's
something wrong with this movie. The plot is that all
throughout this movie they're shooting up the werewolf with like
drugs to keep him under control. And does it.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Work ever, no, no, it shouldn't.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
It doesn't yet they seemingly think it does, even though
he gets out all the time and kills women.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
And he go. And then after that, after she drives off,
what I thought was a prostitute turns out not to
be a prostitute. It was just a woman that came
out of a strip club.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
I don't know. It wasn't a strip club. It was
just a club.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
And it's waiting for a ride.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Yeah, yeah, he gets she just like gets murdered, right
like that, that's the murder. But like, I don't know,
there's Yeah, it's it's Beatnick dancing at beat Nick groovy
music dancing at a club. And oh yeah, we have
we have the alien who has been the doctor Warnoff okay,
(21:57):
played by Michael Rainey keeps this movie. Throughout movie, he
has been mentioning that emotion and passion have no place
for us. We are above this, We've evolved past this.
But what does he do every night? Supposedly he goes
to the beating at Groovy Music club and dances with
hot chicks, and it's.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Kind of okay it it would be like me and
Aaron going to a young people's.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Disco a disco techno. It just why did you even
use the word disco, Darley, We're not that old where
we go. Those those crazy kids in their new Even.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
When I was over there in the late eighties early nineties,
they called their dance halls disco tech.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
I know, but it would be more like us going
to like a college like binge drinking club that everyone
drops ecstasy and like.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
It wasn't that bad.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
No. But in comparison, here you have Michael Rainey, who's
who's like in his late fifties, going to this hippie
beatnik and everyone everyone's like doing drugs in there, and
he just hangs out. But then the cops show up
and he just turns around and walks away, and they're
all looking for him.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
And the the reason why we know is because the
inspector goes to investigate about the girl that was that
disappeared because of the werewolf. Yeah, and somebody in the
I did not know who they are, mentions this guy
comes around all the time.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Yeah. So if and I have to apologize to the
listeners here, if it's not making a whole lot of
sense the plot, it's because it it doesn't a lot
of the plot just does not make sense. It's just
kind of scene after scene where there isn't a ton
of connection. There is some like there is the overarching
story that's going on. It's not that great, but there
(24:01):
isn't a lot of connection between scenes, at least easily
explainable connections between scenes.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
It has the feel of instead of having kid you,
you have monsters, monsters, human like monsters.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yes, and they all have to be showcased.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
And they all have to be showcased, and we yes,
Darlene Corrap, you made me forget.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
I made you forget. I was waiting for you to talk.
So at the Castle, we have doctor Warnoff now testing
a hypnotic truth sound wave that makes people tell the truth.
He then tortures the same blonde woman that he's been
torturing throughout this entire movie, and it just makes her
scream and pain. It doesn't make her tell the truth.
It just makes her scream.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Oh, I was gonna say the werewolf. Uh when he
they kept adding more hair to transform it looked.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
We'll get to that when we get to the what
works and what doesn't. We're still talking about the plot
thought okay, yeah, no, the makeup, the werewolf makeup in
this is actually really good, so good. We find out
that the Mummy has been found. Now we then we
we then jump we don't go to get to the
mummy yet, hold on, d we don't go to the
(25:23):
mummy right away. We then cut away from them going, oh,
the Mummy has been found, because they the people, the
aliens on earth, didn't find the mummy. It's the aliens
light years away that found where the mummy was and
told them where it was. Because it's too much effort
for the aliens here on earth to actually do a
damn thing except torture blonde women in a in an
(25:45):
electric chair.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Well, we got a t W A air t.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
W A product placement and willis jeep and it's because
everyone's talking about Well, we have a whole scene even
before that, where the cops are talking to this woman
who got away from the werewolf the like, questioning her.
She's played by Patty Shepherd, by the.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Way, and she's the love interest.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
She's the love interest of the inspector. Yes, but whatever
happened to her boyfriend that she left behind, I have
no idea. Okay, So the aliens break into the Egyptian
tomb to unleash the Mummy. And I even wrote down
here in my notes the mummies makeup is pretty damn good.
The Mummy murders a guy for no reason, while doctor
(26:26):
Warnoff watches it all on television because I guess now
there's a television camera in the mummies tomb. I don't know.
Back at the castle, we have hold on. We have
an Earth versus Soup first, an Earth versus Soup first,
(26:47):
and it's a first in such a way as that
we both screamed. We went holy crap because a guy
gets blood drawn for real on screen. Normally you don't
see that. Normally you have like fake needles going into
people's arms to have blood drawn. This was a real
(27:08):
blood being drawn. You could see the needle going under
the skin and into the vein, and oh we have
I mean, okay, we've all seen that, we've all had
blood drawn, but normally you don't get to watch that enclose.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Up with those big damn needles with.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
A big horse needle. Oh god, Oh my god. So
they're actually drawing the blood from Dracula because I guess
they're wanting to contaminate human blood to make more Draculas.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
But his makeup is weird.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Okay, the Dracula dude gray blue weird. He does not
look like a typical vampire. He looks like he is
made of stone, almost like just gray and not stone
in a good way. This looks like he has gray
makeup on rather than like pale skin. It's gray. He
(28:09):
also has mind tricks. So Malvina gets the whammy put
on her at least a few times during this movie.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Yeah, so the main character, doctor warn Off. Warn Off
actually knocked the knocks her knocked and knocks her back
into her senses.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
I think I can explain Meliva's weirdness to the rest
of the movie as just her having the brain scramblies
because of all the times that Dracula puts the whammy
on her in this movie. So let's see here. Dracula
walks the castle at night. He grabs Malvina again to drainer. Uh,
we have an alien come in and and stops her.
(28:50):
It stops him again. H let's see here. This is
This is the non doctor warn Off alien. They hug,
then they resurrect Frankenstein and Frankenstein walks slowly to the
werewolf to choke him out.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Doesn't kill him because and he's told to by doctor.
Is like a test, Yeah, as some kind of test.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
But you can't kill the werewolf by choking him because
it's not a silver bullet fired by a woman who
loves you and wishes to die with you.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
And here's the bad one, Frankenstein. Here is Frankenstein's creature
has the guy has too much plaster of Paris on
his face and he can't even open his eyes.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
I think that I still firmly believe that is not true,
that that is a choice that he keeps his eyes
closed because of what Boris Karloff did in the original Frankenstein,
where the makeup was too heavy and it looked like
his eyes were almost all the way closed throughout it didn't.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
It looked like somebody used plaster or something.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
The aliens think it was a very cruel test, except
for doctor Warnoff. But Warnoff says, you know what, screw off,
I'm in charge.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Here and we shouldn't have this emotions.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
And we shouldn't have emotions. Now, cops start finding bodies
stashed in cryptol over the place, because I guess there's
lots of women that have been killed by the werewolf.
Then we have another weird quote, and this is an
interaction between the werewolf and Malvina. The werewolf asks why
(30:26):
are you helping me? And Malvina says, I don't know,
maybe because I'm a woman. And I again pause the
movie and just looked at you, Darlene, because I'm like,
I don't know how to take this.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Well. The blonde lab lady runs off with the werewolf
and Malvina and the male lab tech have sex.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Yes they do.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
We don't until until doctor warn Off comes sends Frankenstein's
creature to kill.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
And he does kill the mail Yes, so Frankenstein chokes
that guy out, kills him, then just walks calmly away.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
It doesn't send it to kill both of them, Nope.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Then Malvina is hooked into the torture chair and warn
Off like electrocutes her as torture and she's just.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Call it an electric shop therapy. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
Yeah. So then we have the werewolf and the blonde
blonde woman meeting in the ruins and they come up
with a murder suicide packed with the silver bullet. At
least that's what I call it. A murder suicide packed
all the way through the rest of my notes. We
learned that they all come from the planet Umu from
fourteen light years away. Warnoff admits to everything to the cops.
(31:40):
When the cops show up at the monastery, He's like, yeah, we're.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Gonna manufacture monsters.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
To scare all of you into submission, and we're invading
the earth, and my god, so Dracula roams around the
rooms around the castle. Cop stakes Dracula, we have the.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
The stupidest thing, Doctor warn Off uh with The inspector
catches him yeah, and tells him he's he's going to
chain him up and the bats are going to eat
off his eyes and.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
It's really the top like the mummy stalks Ilsa, Okay,
did you?
Speaker 1 (32:21):
And what my thought was was was I wanted to
scream like what's his name? And we'll get the gun
and then we get shoot him together.
Speaker 3 (32:35):
Oh, Scott evil, Scott evil. Look, I have a gun
in my room and that's all.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
That went through my head at the bats.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
You just don't get it, do you, Darlene. No, I
do not get it, all right. So Ilsa the the
dark haired woman who ditched her boyfriend because the werewolf
attacked her and she stole his car. She's been kidnapped.
The Mummy stalks her and I wrote down my notes.
You know what, the Mummy doesn't really seem that that
bad of a dude, doesn't really seem that hostile. He's
(33:06):
just lost. He's not in his tomb anymore. Ilsa just
is sort of there. Yeah, I mean he's pretty creepy.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Oh oh, is this where we get Torquamana's torture chamber.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Yeah, we get the big hamster wheel of death. But
that's where they throw the Mummy in the hamster wheel
and set him on fire. Yes, yeah, that's actually so
we have.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
The only thing that I could think of is I
was like, wow, this is a monastery in Spain. This
must have beenas.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Here's the thing that blonde alien woman sees the Mummy
getting tossed into the hamster wheel and set on fire,
and her reaction will I will put this down to
bad acting or bad direction her. The impression that I
got was she's turned on by the Mummy burning itself
(33:56):
into cinders. Like that's what it looked like. It was
that she was herned on by it. Wolfman and Frankenstein
fight in the light in the lab Frankie dies from electrocution.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Yeah, that's how he's woke up.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
He's cowered by it. It gives him life. Wow, didn't
you read the source material? Yes, cops have surrounded the monastery.
What are they gonna do at this point? I mean,
I don't know. Uh So the aliens from the Home
world say, you know what, I think this plan kind
(34:31):
of sucks. You've clearly lost the You've clearly lost where
you're going here.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Michael Rainey, the werewolf gets gets shot by his blondie
and then where the were wolf is killed by her,
and then he kills her and in.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
His like last moments, and she's like, oh thank god,
I'm dead and falls over. The aliens are like, dude,
you've screwed up, and Warnoff says, you know what, Yeah,
I think I did. Humans are way too strong. The
Monus story blows up, but like Melvina just fades away,
like she was beamed away or something, and and monastery.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Blows up and he burns to nothing.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Yeah, he just burns up like willingly. And then the
cops and Ilsa kiss, the cop that is our main
character kiss the end. The plot is utter shit, But
I love this movie. And and and and the thing is,
I'll tell you what works, what works. Let's go with
(35:30):
what works first, Darling, you're giving me a look the makeup,
especially the Mummy and werewolf makeup, Frank ste I'm saying specifically.
I was very impressed with the Mummy makeup and the
werewolf makeup I liked.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Okay, And the Dracula makeup was like he should have been.
I you know, I kept on thinking this is I
had to go this is Dracula not a gargoyle. Yeah,
because he looked like a gargoyle.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Okay. So I liked parts of the makeup. Some of
the other makeup was shit. I liked some of the acting,
and some of the acting was shit. Okay, because I
actually liked Michael Rainey. Even though he was like chewing
the scenery, he still had that that charm.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
He wasn't no, this was like his He was just.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
Paul Nashy as the Werewolf, acted his heart out and
I freaking loved it.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yes he did.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
I freaking loved it.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
But I really think Michael Rainey didn't really.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
It isn't peak Michael Rainey.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
It's like he didn't care too well.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
Oh, this was clearly a paycheck. I will give him that.
But like Karen Dora's Maliva, she did a great job.
Patty Shepherd Iszilsa did a great job. The inspector did
a great job. That's that's Craig Hill playing the inspector.
I think he actually did a pretty darn good job.
(36:58):
The plot, though overall, clearly doesn't work. It's just nonsense.
But with even that said, the scenes by themselves, there
are many scenes in this movie that, taken as a scene,
are actually pretty well framed and executed right. It's just
(37:19):
that they're not put together in a coherent way. It's
really difficult to talk about what truly works in this
movie and what doesn't work, because, as we've already said,
a lot of it is both. It works in some
parts and really falls apart in others. Is there anything
that you can specifically say that you really liked in
(37:39):
this movie, even if it's just one part of the
general category.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
I said, the wherewof makeup? I really liked that. And
like you said, the Mummy was really great. That would
be a great costume to.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
Do really good, really good. And you know, here's the thing,
like the coloring of the makeup of the bummy was
clearly just very mono tone, but it didn't matter. With
the way they shot him and the way that he
kind of looked overall, it made sense. I don't know,
I love this movie because it's so bunkers. It's so
(38:15):
stupid that it suddenly becomes like I was laughing through
big parts of it. I was really recommended though you
can't see I recommend it. I recommend it.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
I can't. I can't recommend it. It's too chaotic for me.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
It fully because it's it's got the some.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Of the movies that I liked of of the Japanese
but Toho, Toho's Kaiju movies. This had the feeling of
that disconnected you had, you had all the all the monsters,
women was that monster destroy all monsters? It had that
(38:58):
flare to it. One of the two Yeah, where there's
all they're doing is showcasing monsters, but you get little
of the monsters.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Yeah, so very little of them. And I don't know,
it is chaos. It's chaos, I agree.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
And why have aliens thinking that they can use something
that we don't even think exist? Why would they even
do that? If I was an alien i'd question whether
of the existence of it.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Yes, I agree. None of it makes sense. None of
it makes sense. I am the first to admit it. Now,
if you asked me, out of ten, what would I
would give this? I would give this a solid four.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
That's about where I was.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
I this is a four. But I recommend it because
it is so dumb. It is it's fun, like, hey, look,
here's Michael Rainey, Here's here's Karen Door. We're just gonna
have freaking monsters and just weird nonsense all the way
through this movie. And there's blood. There's an actual blood,
(40:12):
blood being drawn from a person, which I never thought
i'd see.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Well, we can also write this, We're gonna need to
see one of the other movies we Are, we Are,
We're Gonna War, because this might be the fact that
their co director left and halfway through.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
And yeah, and then the director had to pick up pieces.
And I guarantee you that there was also problems with
like filming times. I'm sure there was, and then filming locations.
Now that being said, almost the entirety of this film
was filmed in Spain.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Yeah. And one of the other things that's really interesting
is the British promotional material showed elber Hard mechanerse.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
As I spelled it Eberhard Misshner. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Credit says as a director, as a co director, and
he never even did anything with the actual was even
actually involved in it. Okay, so it was probably one
of you know, that was probably to get English people
to watch it.
Speaker 3 (41:25):
I have no idea, I don't know. As I said,
I recommend it with the understanding that it is complete schlock.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
You said this would be easy for ms.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Oh, this would be an amazing MST three K because
there are long pauses after a lot of dialogue where
you can and I was doing it while watching it.
That's maybe why I really enjoyed it myself, is because
I could riff this movie hard myself. And I don't
know every time they were strapped in the chair and
(42:01):
like the time that Michael Rainey's like, yes, I have
the noise that makes you tell the truth. I shall
make you listen to it now, and I'm like, well,
that's gonna be the brown note. They're sitting in this
on this throne. Look, Darlene, that's exactly what they're trying
to say here, and you're giggling. I mean, the movie
it's asking for being riffed, but I'm not like making
(42:21):
fun of it because it's just it's it's so weird.
It's such a weird movie. We'll watch the other movies
in this. Maybe we'll cover them next time. I don't know,
like at least one of them next time. It might
be a good idea. I know that we have a
two seventy five episode coming up, and I kind of
want to do a classic for that, but these probably
(42:42):
wouldn't fit into the classics. But I don't know what
we're gonna do for that. There are universal films that
we have yet to cover that should fit there. But
we'll leave it there, folks. I hope you enjoyed. I
know this seems really really disconnected. The plot is it's
(43:03):
aliens are invading the Earth, using monsters.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Using a superstatious super.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
Superstitions to make urbans afraid.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
Or like Frankenstein is a fictional character.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
I know, But but all, why don't we have.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Why don't we have Sherlock Holmes?
Speaker 3 (43:21):
Then too, is Sherlock Holmes help.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Or or the more moriarity? If they really wanted to
try to take.
Speaker 3 (43:28):
Over the world, but next Gen already made. I know
this is before next Gen, but next Gen did Moriarty
as an actual villain and he came to life and
he is incredible. I don't know that character anyway. We'll
leave it there, folks, I'm eron, I'm darling. Good evening,
keep watching the skies. At no point in your rambling,
incoherent response were you even close to anything that could
(43:51):
be considered a rational thought.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Thanks for listening to this episode of This Week in Geek.
Hungry for more, check out our website if we can
geek dot net. You can subscribe to the podcast, browse
our Twitter and Instagram, and leave your thoughts on today's topics.
If you'd like to give us some feedback, send us
an email at Feedback at This Week in Geek dot Net.
Tune in next time, and remember, lower your shields and
(44:14):
surrender your listenership.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
We would be honored if you would join us. Thank
you for your cooperation.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Good night,
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